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Semi Finals
Necra Octavian Kane
Erik Staggs
Blast from the Past
The Future of SCW
Andrew Watts<Center>
“Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back.”Fuck… fuck… fuck… I laid there, a bag of ice, yes literally a whole damn bag of ice was just sitting there on my lower back. This probably wasn’t doing much, but at least it was kind of making me feel numb. The shit that my chiropractor gave me for the pain was good, it lasted through the match, that mixed with my adrenaline… it lasts through my training, through my workouts… but there are these times when I am not on any pain meds that, well… it feels like there’s a mother fucking knife, jabbed in my lower back. I don’t really know what that would feel like, but if I did this would be it… this would so fucking be it.”Pain is weakness, leaving the body.”My fucking ass by the way, whoever invented that saying has clearly never felt this much pain. Weakness leaving the body is taking a big shit, the kind that hurts so bad that you have to pause, suck it back up, and then try again. That might be the type of pain people think about when they use that quote, but this pain? This is no fucking weakness, because nobody weak would be able to fucking stand this pain right here. I don’t fucking get how women have babies, like, if it is really as bad as the mother fucking say it is, then I fucking give those bitches a shit load of credit… because I ain’t never having no baby, especially if it feels anything like this or remotely close."The only reason I would kick you out of bed, would be to fuck you on the floor"Wait a second, yeah that quote wasn’t supposed to be in there.... definitely the wrong quote there, whoops… not going to lie, that kind of made me laugh, and I will never forget the first time someone told me that, but.. this isn’t the time, because if someone even kicked me period right now, especially onto the floor… not only would I not be able to fuck them, but I also probably wouldn’t be able to move. Lets try that one again..."Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else."How the fuck are you supposed to win when you are in this much pain? Well that is something that I asked myself prior to my last match, Adam Stone really fucked my back up, but look at me.. I went out there, I fucked JT Midas’ life up and I hit him with The Highlight, I covered him, 1 and 2 and 3…. and nobody had any fucking idea that I was even hurt, or in pain. How? Because I am that damn good and I want it that fucking bad. When you want something, you give it your all, you show no weakness and just like the quote says, you have to be willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else… and I fucking do that, week in and week out, day after day, every damn second. That’s right… so to anyone doubting me, you can suck it… because Andrew Watts is going the whole fucking way, and 2 washed up nobodies are definitely not going to be the ones to stop me. I adjusted the ice on my lower back, it was pretty numb by now...Oh and speaking of those two nobodies, speaking of the tournament, and speaking of everything going on with me, and in SCW in general… lets take a look into that, a bit more…
And then there were four, that is the number of teams that remain in the Blast from the Past tournament. Kind of crazy how it flew by so quick though now ain’t it? I knew from the second I signed up for this damn thing that I would still be in it in the Semi-Finals, shit… I knew that I would still be in it when the Finals came as well, which… I will be, obviously. So what did it take to come here? First, signing up, getting my name on the list and then looking at a list of 16 Bombshells, with maybe… 3 that I wouldn’t mind being teamed up with. Go figure, I got one of those three as my partner, Misty.
Why Misty? Why a good girl? Why someone with fucking amnesia. Well, one, at the time I didn’t know she had amnesia, and luckily it has yet to show any effect or cause any problems for either one of us in this tournament… and two, this Bombshell has had shit luck, getting stuck with shit partners or just being unlucky every year in the tournament, if anyone wants a win in this tournament on their resume, you fucking believe it is Misty. You can’t find another Bombshell in the SCW locker room, past and present, that wants to win this thing more than Misty, and finally… she is going to.
So Misty, nice partner, good start… then, we get Patient 911 or whatever, and Mikah… ahh Mikah, one of the three that I wanted on my team as well. The third one of course being Delia, because… as annoying as this bitch is, who wouldn’t want to be teamed with the reigning Bombshell Champion who just, is almost as unstoppable as me, or something like that. Anyways, Mikah and Adam Stone, go fucking figure… Adam Stone, the little bitch that I kicked out of the Legends by Nature and Highlighted him straight out of a job back in the EWF, coming back for some revenge… and failing.
Poor blonde Mikah got rolled up and her tight little ass just couldn’t kick out, kind of sad, I wanted that as one of my partners, and she couldn’t kick out of a roll up? People say Misty used the ropes and tights to her advantage, I saw no such thing. Plus, Misty is a saint, she would never try cheating, especially with amnesia? She probably didn’t even know what the fuck cheating was. So quit accusing the woman of shit she didn’t do.
Ah, and then there was Mercedes Old As Fuck Wannabee Milf Vargas, and her new fuck buddy, one half of the formerly known Dick Lick Clique, JT Midas. You know it’s really a shame that Caleb Houston died… because I really enjoyed making fun of them together. Oh, oh! Someone just informed me that he didn’t die! Oh whats that? Oh he wasn’t even hit by a car, go figure… apparently the real story is out and Caleb Houston couldn’t handle the pressure anymore so he made up a big excuse and ran like a little bitch…
I guess he took a dick too hard in the ass one night and couldn’t handle the fact that he needed a cane to walk after that, sad… such a waste of… well, waste of nothing I guess. Anyways, JT Midas, he ate a Highlight, they lost… end of story! And now? Now we find ourselves in the Semi-Finals against Necra, who can’t pin an opponent to save her life, who just keeps losing to Delia, match after match after match.
And Erik Staggs, who I am pretty sure isn’t even a real fucking wrestler… just a fill in or some shit because they didn’t have enough male competitors for the tournament, go figure… so they use a staff members. That is kind of cute, and a horrible idea. Staggs luckily has gotten to hand pick his opponents as the tournament has gone on, or so it seems at least.
But, looks like he picked the wrong ones this time, because… lets be honest. Staggs and Necra about to get fucked… and not the good kind of fucked either… more like, the kind of fucked that Caleb Houston got. Lucky for him, he still has JT Midas to rub some Vaseline on his butthole for him… I know, sick right? They’re sick fucks, what can you do though… it is what it is.
So Erik Staggs eh? Not bad, this guy is authority and shit, on the staff here in SCW. Head of Talent Relations… in other words, this guy knows talent when he sees it, which means he is probably shitting himself at the fact that he has to face me this Sunday at Climax Control 108.
Staggs if you are any good at your job, then you know that you are about to step into the ring with the most talented superstar in SCW, you know that you are about to have the match of your life, and you sure as hell know… that you won’t be walking out of that ring and onto the finals of the Blast from the Past tournament. No, no, no… that spot is already taken, clearly. Staggs not only did I find out that you are on the Talent scouting team, or head of it or whatever, but I found out a few other interesting things about you when I looked up your biography on the roster page on SCW’s website.
Well, first off you are old as fuck… I mean not super old, but you are wrestling old. I mean, 46 years old? You should really be in the back, sticking to paperwork and scouting talent, because you really might pull a hip or maybe lose one of your dentures or something in the ring if shit gets too violent. There was some really interesting shit that I happened to notice, some shit that REALLY caught my eye while reading up on you. I mean, I noticed like every other biography, you had a mini story on yours as to how you got started in this game, that’s right… back in 1983 apparently when you started wrestling professionally.
That is quite interesting because if my math is right, 2015 minus 46 years old… that would mean you were born in either 1968, or 1969… which would mean you were a professional wrestler at the age of 14, or 15 at the oldest… hmm, interesting. There can be one of two explanations here: one, you are fucking way older than you say you are, and you just try to act younger for the ladies, or just because you are in denial.
Or two, your backstory is a bunch of bullshit of you trying to talk yourself up, and you fucked up by not realizing that you claim to have been wrestling professionally at the age of 14, which is honestly nearly impossible… it is these days, and we all know it was those days also. I smell some real bullshit here, bullshit only comes from bitches and snitches too... and you know what happens to bitches and snitches right? That’s right, they get caught, and when they get caught they are shit out of luck.
Erik Staggs, you my friend are already shit out of luck, because not only have you already been caught trying to give a nice bullshit backstory, but you also find yourself in a match with the most talented superstar in SCW… talk about a bad fucking week, right Erik? Yeah, I know… damn right…
So what else did I notice when I did some research on Mr. Erik Staggs? Well, quite some more interesting shit actually. This mother fucker is on staff right? He has a job behind the scenes and probably has some pull in the company too, right? Right… well of course he does because, every round he has faced the fucking EASIEST opponents possible, and I am not just saying that…
I mean go back and fucking look, this guy has had a damn cake walk of opponents to go through since the beginning of this tournament. First he gets Patient 069 or whatever the fuck the numbers were, I really don’t remember… and I will admit, I got one of the washed up patients as well, Adam Stone… a nobody who got his ass whooped by me and embarrassed, not for the first time either, but we won’t get into that.
Staggs, he got Joey Harris… now anybody who knows Joey Harris like I do, well… they can’t help but fucking laugh when they hear this mother fuckers name because… well, he is a damn joke, a FUNNY ass joke, that’s all he ever has been, it’s all he is, and it’s all he ever will be. Joey Harris used to walk around the European Wrestling Federation with a paper World Heavyweight Championship and call himself the EWF World Heavyweight Champion, people just looked at the guy like he was an idiot, because…
Well, this dude couldn’t win a damn match to save his life… and clearly Mr. Head of Talents and shit knew that, so he made sure that in the first round, he faced the loser known as Joey Harris… but not only did he get Joey Harris, but look at who the partner was, Darknyss… a bitch coming out of retirement who hadn’t wrestled in god knows how long. You just pounced on this opportunity to face off against a pair of HORRIBLE partners didn’t you Staggs?
Talk about the authority using power to their advantage. It’s pretty sad. Then we have the second round, the round where you faced off against another pair of SHITTY opponents. There were less teams to choose from this time, but somehow you once again ended up with the easiest of the batch. You got one of those idiot clowns who thinks he is a tiger or whatever. The Beast of Darkness, the Dark Tiger... ohhh scary, sounds like fucking Seth Rogan in the movie The Interview, going one on one with a tiger. I mean, if a fat ass like Seth Rogen can survive a tiger, then I am pretty sure a so called wrestler could too right? So you get this garbage ass Tiger dude, but it doesn't stop there. His teammate?
Candy Overton, go figure... a bitch who I don't even think has ever pinned anyone here in SCW, or just never pinned anyone in her life, period. Two more easy opponents, and you advance to the Semi-Finals... of course, just using your damn authority to move on even farther, good for you... nice game plan, but what happened now?
Semi-Finals, three opponents for you to CHOOSE from, go figure… every opposing team is pretty damn good, what to do now? Seems you realized you were screwed considering you’d either have to face the former SCW Tag Team Champion, the crazy ass little mother fucker that goes by the name of Despayre, which might have been your best bet, but…
Still would have probably been a bad choice since he is a decent competitor as well. Or you could have chosen the Notorious one, the SCW Roulette Champion, the mother fucking other co-founder of the REJECTS… Alex Kaelin! But you didn’t do that either, and why?
Because even though his team would have been the second best choice, you for some reason were still too scared. So what the fuck did you do? You did the dumbest fucking thing possible, the most idiotic thing that anyone could do… and you chose the team where you would have to go toe to toe, head to head, face to face… with Andrew fucking Watts.
Do you even understand what you did by doing that? Or are you maybe starting to realize it now? I can feel your anxiety building up for this match, and I don’t blame you, I’d be nervous as fuck if I were you too. You are going to be in the ring with the hottest, most talented superstar in the SCW currently, how the fuck do you feel about that Erik? And your little partner named Necra? She doesn’t scare anyone, the only thing she is good at is losing to Delia, over… and over… and over.
She seems to just, suck really, when was the last time she even pinned someone? Yeah, I can’t remember either honestly. Misty will have a lot of fun with her, especially considering Misty has been quite impressive even with amnesia, oh yeah… and because I most recently started training Misty also, so lets just say she has the best damn trainer and partner in SCW. You got stuck with a bad one here Staggs, a really bad one. You dug yourself a good one, and all I have to do now is throw you in it, and that is where you will stay… because you’re about to see be out of this tournament, and the sad part? You know it…
On the bright side, Staggs… you are at least better than one person in this match, that’s right, Necra. You are better than your partner. I mean lets really be honest, she is probably the worst Bombshell on the roster. There are so many talented women on the roster here in SCW… and then, there’s Necra. I almost feel bad for how bad she is, but then I think to myself and I remember that I don’t really give a fuck, or two fucks. Necra loses her ass off, like… I think I have seen her literally lose EVERY damn match since I signed my contract here in SCW. I feel like she is trying to do the opposite of what I am doing and just, lose?
Because, I have been undefeated since joining, and Necra? I am pretty sure she has just been, defeated. Talk about bad luck, or maybe just no skill. And I am not counting your two tournament wins as wins for her because well, you got the pin both times so…
Necra just, can’t pin people if her life depended on it. Sad little girl, slowly digging herself one, no need for anyone else to even do it for her. She should just roll over and fall right into it, make things a lot easier… hopefully it’s close to yours too Erik, maybe y’all little bitches can keep each other company, so you don’t get too lonely or whatever. It’s sad to see such a hyped up match, Semi-Finals of the Blast from the Past tournament, the fans are probably expecting so much, thinking that it is going to be a good match.
Little do they know it probably won’t last much longer than oh… two, maybe three minutes? If you are lucky that is. I guess they can blame staff though, for letting little Erik Staggs knit pick his way into the fucking Semi-Finals, until the dumb piece of shit hit a roadblock, a roadblock named Andrew Watts… and you better believe it Staggs, the road ends here… for you.
I really hope you enjoyed the ride, I hope you enjoyed all of the easy opponents, all of the easy wins. Because after this I am kicking your ass straight back behind the scenes, where it belongs… your old ass should not be in a ring, and this Sunday? I will make sure that it never is… ever, again. You’re just going to be another roll… on the Highlight reel.
On the other side of things we have Despayre and Amanda Whoretez… shit, my bad that just kind of slipped out. Amanda Cortez is what I meant to say… anyways, we have Whoretez and Despayre, wait… did I do it again? I think I did. Whatever, we have that weird ass firecrotch bitch and her partner and they are going against Jade Milendez Bondandadaz Alamano Alcatraz or whatever the fuck her name is, and of course… my boy, Alex Kaelin.
Now obviously I am rooting for Kaelin and I have no doubt that he will be able to hold his own, but honestly… how long can a guy carry such a horrible partner like Jade Bombstomb Mampado Ruiz? This Bombshell has to be one of the worst on the roster, right down there with Necra and Candy Ovaries… uh… Overton, my bad.
Anyways, who the fuck knows what is going to happen in that match? I know Kaelin will whoop that midget Despayre’s ass all over the place, but when you have such an inconsistent, piece of garbage partner like Kaelin has, you never know what can happen. Lucky for me I don’t really have to worry about that, having probably the best damn Bombshell on the roster on my side.
Even if Misty has amnesia, this girl still knows how to kick some ass, and that is something that is VERY… yes, very important in this business that we are in… and why? Well, because it’s basically the job description, kick some fucking ass… something Misty does pretty damn good, almost as good as me, which is saying something. So whether my boy is able to put Jade on his back and carry them to the finals, or whether the other two sneak a win over Jade, it doesn’t really matter… because Misty and Andrew Watts are already the winners of this things, and I really don’t think that there is anything anyone can fucking do about it.
Sorry Kaelin, bro… you’re great, you can fucking wrestle, you can cheat, you fight dirty, and you know some good ass moves as well… but even if you manage to hold your own against me… Misty is going to destroy 50 Jades of Grey or whatever the fuck her name is. I don’t know why everyone else is even still trying, I don’t know why it is even a topic or question anymore… because, I mean… it’s done, we all know the winners of this years Blast from the Past tournament, and if you think you don’t… quit fucking lying to yourself.
Because Mr. Highlight is winning this thing, and going on to be the next SCW Heavyweight Champion. Don’t believe me? Don’t have to, just watch… and I will prove you wrong… because I know I’m right… I’m so damn right.
CLIMAX... bitch...
”Um… you alright there, need some more ice? A heating pad? Maybe someone to change your diaper, old man?”I look up to see Desiree walk around the couch, having her move in wasn’t such a bad idea… she did things that I never did like: clean, the dishes, pick up after me… I could get used to this. Although it was pretty amazing that I have been living with her for about 3 days now and I hadn’t fucked her yet, or even made out, or anything… that so wasn’t like me. I reached back, grabbing the bag of ice off of my back as I tossed it onto the nearby coffee table. I turned onto my side as my back pushed against the back cushions of the couch and I looked up at Desiree who stood above me, hands on her hips as she looked down. We weren’t dating or anything, she just needed a place to stay, and for some weird reason I offered, and so far… so good.”How is your back?”She asked as I kind of just looked up at her for a second. She looked pretty sexy: black tanktop, pink bra behind it, a pair of white shorts that were definitely not fingertip length, but I wasn’t complaining. I closed my eyes for a slight second, before opening them and replying to her.”It’s actually pretty okay…”I think the lie was obvious because she stood there, her hands still on her hips, her facial expression basically said “I don’t buy your bullshit response” and she tapped her foot on the ground a few times. She continued to stare down at me, giving me that look, but not really saying anything… after a few seconds I broke the silence.”Jeez, what?”She shook her head as she bit her bottom lip while doing so, sitting down on the nearby coffee table, the bag of ice just a few inches from her, but she did a good job at not sitting on it. Her arms rested against her lower thighs as she leaned forward, staring at me.”You’re full of fucking shit, that’s what. You’re laying on the couch with a bag of ice you bought from the gas station, on your back… clearly you are not “pretty okay” idiot.”Wow, harsh… it almost sounded like she gave a shit about me or something. I kind of just shook my head. I was in too much pain to listen to her shit. Plus I had a flight tomorrow, and I just wanted to relax today. It felt nice coming home for a bit, plus I had to get medicine refills from my chiropractor… the traveling really sucked, such short notice and little time, but… fuck it. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.”Fuck me, do you have to be such a bitch about it? Clearly I am the one in all of the pain here, what is your deal with adding to it by basically trash talking me? Fucking, give you a place to stay, and you are just going all bitch mode on me? Chill there, show a bit of respect.”She shook her head, still leaned forward a bit as she stared forward at me, I tried adjusting myself a bit, but I felt a sharp pain in my lower back so I kind of just, gave up on that idea… maybe next time.”Oh yes, a place to stay. A fucking nasty ass pig sty that I have been cleaning since the second I moved in here. It smelled like pussy and rotten eggs in here when I moved in, you should be thanking me that in just a few days I have made this place actually liveable, surprisingly. Considering even I thought that it wouldn’t be possible… so yes, you’re welcome and yes, thank you… thank you for letting me stay here, asshole… keep rubbing it in too.”Wow, she was… she was fucking something else, that’s what she was. I haven’t met a woman like this one since… well, lets actually not go there, I don’t want to think about old wounds. Anyways, I pushed myself up, and somehow managed to do so this time. Using my knuckles as I sat up on the couch, directly across from Desiree as I stared forward at her, my hands in a ball as I rested my chin on them.”Wow, sorry? I guess. I’m just, in pain… and it is fucking frustrating, and this stupid fucking European tour that we have going on is fucking ridiculous because I honestly just want to be here, everyday, all day… in my damn bed. There, happy? I opened up to you, somewhat… there is my complaining for the day, hope you enjoy it.”She doesn’t really say anything, she kind of just nods her head and looks down at the ground. The emotion in her eyes changed, I wonder what I could have said that would affect her… or maybe she was just PMSing or something. I took a deep breath and continued talking.”So, what you going to do now that you are kind of… jobless? I mean, ASW is done, so I assume… I don’t know, have you thought into it at all? Going back to England? Staying around? Anything…?”She let out a light laugh, not the happy kind as she picked her head up, shaking her head and looking forward at me. Her tone clearly not too happy.”Oh wow, back to England eh? Trying to get rid of me already?”Of course she fucking took that the wrong way, why wouldn’t she? Everyone takes every fucking thing the wrong way, it’s just how this damn world works… you can never please anyone, especially woman. Just have to please yourself I guess, luckily I was pretty damn good at that, but at the same time… I felt bad for her, she seemed pretty upset. I shook my head as I responded to her comments.”That is not what I mean, I just meant… any plans? Like, have you looked into any other places? Anything around here? Anywhere? I know you want to keep wrestling, or at least being involved in it, somehow.”She shrugged a shoulder, answering my question.”Well, I actually have been talking to your place a bit… SCW. They kind of wanted to get all of the ASW talent in SCW, well at least the good ones… apparently I fell under the list of “the good ones” go figure right? I don’t know, I guess I am going to think on that one a little bit more though, we will see.”SCW, Desiree… and me? That didn’t sound like a horrible idea honestly. I thought for a few seconds before shrugging my shoulders and looking straight towards her as I responded to her.”Hmm, why don’t you come to Europe with me? Come to Climax Control on Sunday? Come backstage, check out the ring before the show, maybe get to meet a few of the people, or just… hangout in my locker room since you hate people, and I don’t know, see how you like it I guess. It could be a start, you can get a feel for the SCW and maybe it can help your decision a bit…”She shrugged a shoulder, the look on her face finally changed. Her emotions seemed to be changing by the second. She looked a bit happier now and I couldn’t help but flash a smirk at her as she nodded her head.”Why the fuck not right? Lets do it, I guess I better back… you, uh… okay here? Need anything?”I shrugged my shoulders, still smirking as I popped a joke out.”Maybe we can trade lower backs? That would probably help a bit, if you’re interested?”She stood up, slapping me playfully on the right shoulder as she chuckled light and shook her head.”You’re ridiculous. I’ll be in my room, getting some shit ready… call my name if you need anything.”She leaned forward, planting a kiss on my cheek and whoa, that was… different. It actually felt pretty nice too, I am not going to lie. She smirked at me as she slowly pulled her face away, looking at me in the eyes the whole time. She walked away as I stared at her while she walked towards the doorway, turning a corner and exiting the room, heading towards her room. I leaned backwards against the couch cushions, trying to get my back comfortable. Go figure, for the short time that her and me were talking there, my back wasn’t really bothering me, kind of interesting. I guess it must have just, went away for a bit… and it still wasn’t bothering me. I shrugged my shoulders, licking my bottom lip as I ran my right hand back through my hair. Hmm, one whole day of relaxing… then another 2 to 3 days of traveling, training, and kicking some ass in the Semi-Finals… ugh, talk about a fucked up schedule, but it was all worth it, very fucking worth it.
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