Author Topic: ALEX KAELIN vs SEPHIROTH DU LAC  (Read 1294 times)

Offline Christian Underwood

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ALEX KAELIN vs SEPHIROTH DU LAC
« on: December 28, 2014, 04:34:48 PM »
 Post all RPs here.

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“To err is human - but it feels divine.”
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Offline SephirothduLac

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ALEX KAELIN vs SEPHIROTH DU LAC
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2015, 07:45:46 PM »
 <Center>"I may be on the side of the angels,
but don't think for one second that I am one of them."

-Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock-

Well, here we are, children. A new year and the beginning of a new era. Can you not feel it? The anticipation? The calling on the wind? The changing of the guard is upon us. A battle for supremacy. Two men who have proven through great odds and struggle that they are both worthy to be called champion... well, some of us more than others.


*The camera falls on the interior of a typical American home. The walls a solid eggshell white covered in the pictures of a typical family. A father, a mother and a little girl sit smiling in a hanging still picture as the camera moves gliding down the hallway leading into the illuminated kitchen. As we ponder into the glistening white cabinets and silver sinks and appliances that fill the room we see a small singular figure. Her tiny arms holding open the fridge door as she reaches in for a covered cup filled with juice. As she shuts the door she turns to see a dark figure standing above her. A terrifying specter that causes her to jump letting out a tiny gasp. She drops her cup only to have the man lean down and catch it midair in a suddenly surprising gesture. He offers it to her with a gentle smile.*

Man: Don't be frightened.


It's ironic really that I have noticed how many are supporting me in this endeavor. A strong push has placed me as not only the favored of this fight but also as a sort of unusual hero of the masses. My name has appeared in predictions for the match, podcasts, even in the hallways of power for our federation has my name been placed as a sort of favored son. They cheer for me as the lesser of two evils. And why should they not? For am I not worthy of such praise? I bested an entire regiment of men that longed for my downfall. What has Alex Kaelin done besides butcher a classic poem?


*The girl shakes in her tiny sleeping gown. Her long blond locks falling curled around her cherub like face. She gazes up at the figure dressed long and dark. His own long hair draped about him framing his face like long platinum curtains. She shivers in a bit of fear and shyness.*

Girl: Wh-who are you?

*The sly figure of imposing darkness leans down placing her cup in her hand again. His green piercing eyes glowing gently in the dim light.*

Seph: Why I'm your guardian angel. You can call me, Seph.

Girl: Seph? That's a weird name for an angel.

*The dark pale man laughs resoundingly at the honesty of the child. A feet which takes the girl by surprise. He nods reluctant.*

Seph: I suppose it is, isn't it? But what are you doing up so late, my dear?

Girl: I was thirsty. I needed a drink.

*She holds up the half full cup as he nods.*

Seph: And such a big girl for doing it by yourself. Weren't you scared?

*She shakes her head no but Seph smiles a sly smile until she lowers her head and nods back.*

Girl: A little.

Seph: I see. Well, we can't have you afraid. Can we, Clara?

Clara: How do you know my name?

Seph: I told you. I'm your guardian angel. It's my job to know.

*He stands up offering his hand to the little child as she looks at him in awe. With some hesitation she slips her tiny hand into his gloved one. His own hand dwarfing hers in size.*

Seph: Come. Let's not wake your parents. We've got to get you to bed.

*He walks with her in tow, an odd pair as they journey through the dark hall to her bedchamber.*


Does it sting then Alex to know how utterly unimportant you are to them? How easily they turn against you? How they paint you as one that they favor a monster over such a man? You proclaim yourself the best. That you are "kind of a big deal" and yet they speak of you as only the next victim of something much larger than yourself? Do you see your own shortcomings? Your own failures to capture their hearts as some sort of personal failing? For if you were as imposing as you claim to be would they not favor you? Adore you? Now, I know what you are thinking. "Who cares what they think?" "Who cares what the people say?" "What good is having the fans say your going to lose?" Well let me answer those questions with another. Do you honestly think if it weren't true they wouldn't ALL be saying it? That at least a few would still believe? No, they say it because deep down inside they... and you to a certain extent... know the truth. That I am simply better than you.


*Seph spreads the sheets over the tiny frame of the girl. The long bedspread coming down slowly upon the bed as she smiles a grin punctured by a missing front tooth. He smiles back kissing her on the head as he hands her a tiny stuffed bear and her covered plastic cup. He rises above her as she looks to him with big eyes. Soft and shining with the sparkle of youthful innocence about them. He pats her head as he goes to walk away but she stops him. her hand drawing to his as he tries to go.*

Clara: Wait. I can't sleep.

*He sighs as he turns back. Rolling his eyes as if an exasperated father.*

Seph: You haven't tried yet, Clara.

Clara: I know but, my mom always reads me a story before I goto sleep.

*He raises an eyebrow to the girl who looks up at him with pleading eyes. He stares into hers and for a moment they have a sort of silent showdown. At length however he consents with a sigh and pulls over a chair by her bedside.*

Seph: Alright. One quick story. What would you like to hear?

Clara: Do angels know any stories?

Seph: Well, there is one story i know quite well. Let's see...

*He adjusts his black jacket as he folds his legs adjusting the tail of his lapel.*

Seph: This story begins like all good stories do. Once upon a time there once lived a noble knight.


Do you see how quickly they discredit you, Kaelin? How readily they abandon like rats from a sinking ship. Your arrogance drives them to hate you as no other. How fitting they seek a hero unafraid of violence and bloodshed. Unafraid to use your own tactics against you. Unafraid to be just as brash and arrogant but with the ability and the conviction to back it up. Your words lack that conviction. That drive to see them accomplished and if you are "a big deal" it is only because I allow you to stand in my shadow.


Seph: This knight slew many monsters and villains, rescued many damsels, and fought bravely and valiantly for his King, his country but most of all for his Queen. For you see he loved his Queen more than anything and she loved him. And their love was so great they could not deny each other.

*The girl cuddles in her covers as Seph leans back his eyes staring off in the distance as if remembering some hidden truth.*


For this time is my time. This year is mine. A bright and shining era to which all shall see my worth. For through me shall the gates of the kingdom be open and a new throne made. One paved in the blood of my enemies. To rule in a sort of divine hell from which all shall drink the cup of bitter sorrow. And this belt they offer me shall be my crown and the broken bleeding bodies of those who oppose me shall be my scepter and I shall rule this federation as a lord rules upon his land. What would you do with such an honor? Squander it on your own inflated ego? Feed your delusions of grandeur? Such a wasted title. Like tossing pearls before swine.


Seph: But their love was discovered and it tore the kingdom apart. The King died and the Queen went into exile far away where the brave knight could not find her. So upset was the knight that he lead a great battle against a darkness and chose to die stopping evil in the land. And as he lay there dying, an angel came unto him, and she told him to come with her and he would live forever. And so he did...

*He sits a single tear falling down his face as he looks down at the girl who smiles softly her eyes closed. Her little chest falling and rising with the soft rhythm of sleep. He stops and smiles gently touching her head softly.*

Seph: And he lived happily ever after.


For I am the leading man of this tale. I am the hero of this fable reluctant though I maybe. And like so many heroes before me I shall vanquish all odds. I will defeat the arrogant villain and I will obtain the treasure that so many have sought. I will be the roulette champion for I am the fallen one. the chosen one, the only one... I am Sephiroth du Lac.


*He steps out of the room stepping over something half lying in the hallway. The mark of fingernails along the walls contrasts the eggshell white walls with scarlet crimson as his step moves over the shadowed figure of a body. He opens the door at the end of the hall to reveal a woman much older bound. Her image that of the woman with the girl in the photo before. A makeshift gag bore of balled and tied pantyhose adorns her mouth and ropes hold her to her bed as she moans and fights against her bindings. Sephiroth just stands by the doorframe raising a finger to his lips.*

Seph: Shhhh! She's sleeping.

*She tries to scream as tears flow down her face as Seph merely steps in slamming the door behind him immediately causing the images to go black.*


... And this is my story.

>
Wins: 3 Losses: 1

"Requiescat in Pace"

Offline Alex Kaelin

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ALEX KAELIN vs SEPHIROTH DU LAC
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2015, 10:13:26 PM »
 And his power shall be mighty, and he shall destroy, and shall prosper, and practice, and shall destroy the mighty and the holy people. - Daniel 8:24


|| Seeking Professional Help : On Camera ||

How do you deal with a man like Sephiroth Du Lac? A self proclaimed monster and the man who has been chosen to derail Alex Kaelin's runaway train towards the Roulette Championship. Well you mocked him of course, you pull out your smart phone and you google 'Monster Hunters' in the Las Vegas area. Hell he enjoyed having some fun on camera, so many people just tried so hard. Alex? He enjoyed making a few of his friends laugh. When he told a few of the Rejects about the Monster Hunter and the Albino bit they began laughing. When the scene faded in we could see Alex Kaelin driving in his black 68 Camaro taking a turn down a dirt road, just up ahead you could see a green and white metal shed that looked like it would be used to house farm equipment. When he pulled up in front and parked his car, a guy with a long scraggly beard walked out. A pair of bib overalls and a pair of black rain boots. Getting out of the car, Alex wore his new 'Notorious' T-shirt and a pair of jeans and black boots. He walked over and the guy extended his hand but Alex didn't return the gesture.

"Don't touch me.. Listen, so I hear you are some famous monster hunter right?"

"Names Mitch.."

Alex cut the man off before he could finish, the guys name did not matter to him one bit. What Alex Kaelin needed was information. This was a big match! For the SCW Roulette Championship, and since he wasn't facing a normal man then he needed to collect information from an unusual source.

"Listen, I need to know how to kill an Albino."

"Albino's aren't monsters.."

"Bullshit! Beady eyed, white haired freaks. I mean, I know vampires aren't real.. So how do I kill these things? Shine a flashlight on them?"

Mitch laughed a little to himself as Alex reacted so harshly. He shook his head and looked at Alex Kaelin, realizing that he really wanted a serious answer to this question. The old monster hunter tried to answer as best he could.

"They aren't monsters.. It's a genetic condition of sorts. You know, they lose pigmentation in their skin.."

Again Alex cut the man off, getting clearly annoyed with Mitch even though the man was speaking nothing but reason.

"No no no, I'm not talking about that Michael Jackson shit. Listen, I have a match against a guy..thing.. Sephiroth Du Lac.. He has white hair, pale skin and I'm pretty sure he is an albino. I'm just looking for some advantage on the guy, these things must have some weakness right? Stop, shut up.. OF Course they have a weakness to the sun. But the event happens at night, so come on help a brotha out."

"I'm telling you, they aren't monsters! They are human just like you and me!"

A silence hung in the air for only a moment, Alex took his shades off and looked at the man with a serious expression. No doubt he was mocking his opponent by going through with all of this. Was Sephiroth really going to pose a threat when he stepped into the ring with Alex Kaelin? Certainly Alex didn't think so, but he was always one confident son of a bitch. As far as he was concerned he was going to walk out of jolly ol' England as the SCW Roulette Champion.

"So hold on a second.. You are telling me this thing is human?"

"Hell it doesn't even sound like it's a monster or a thing!"

"So Sephiroth is a man, human, flesh and blood? None of that paranormal shit to worry about.. Just some creepy dude who likes hanging around graveyards and dressing very tacky?"

"I mean.. I suppose, what is a Sephiroth anyway? I've never even heard of one of those!"

"Exactly.."

Alex turns towards the camera and pushes Mitch the Monster Hunter out of the way. Alex is wearing his new shirt.. Which you can find in the SCW shop zone *end cheep plug*.. And a pair of dark blue jeans that are slightly faded.

"Sephiroth Du Lac! You are no monster because Mitch say's you are only a man. Dude is a professional Monster Hunter you pale son of a bitch. Just like everyone else in this tournament you are just a stepping stone for me to get to my goal. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and that Roulette championship wrapped around my waist when I leave Inception. From day one I've had people questioning me, thinking I'm overconfident, that maybe I think just a bit to highly of myself. And that's fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they are retarded. Some people have been in this company ALOT longer then I have and not even come close to sniffing gold. I walk into this company, and I'm in title contention just like that. Because I am exactly what I say I am.. I'm kind of a big deal."

That confidence never waivered. Not one bit! Sure, you had a bunch of cunts who wanted to try and discredit him but that's cool because fuck them. A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep. In fact he fed off it, yeah word always got back to people in this industry. You really think that whining about Alex Kaelin was going to get rid of him?

You think some guy who has read one to many Anne Rice novels is going stop me? I mean, are you fucking kidding me? I'd say I'm curious as to what he has to say but it is highly unlikely I'm going to listen to his promo anyway. I'm a busy man, I've got things to do and people to see.. But I will throw you one bone Sephy, believe me when I say this.. If you are looking for dirt on me, you do not have to dig very deep. I'm pretty sure whatever you have to say, I've heard a million times before. But, maybe you will word it in a unique way since you look like you walked out of an eighteenth century house of ill repute.

Poor Sephy, the man was going to get steamrolled and he was to blind to see it coming. He likely believes that he has a real chance of walking into Inception and walking out the champion. But hey, good for him. He has a ton of people cheering for him because Alex Kaelin is the real monster to most people. He is the one who needs to be chased out of town with pitchforks and torches. Alex smirked as he looked into the camera, almost an amused look on his face as he began to speak.

I'm playing with house money, from the moment I was put in this tournament I was the one everyone decided to bet on.. To uh, steal one of your taglines.. You could say I'm the chosen one. You think they really want you as the champion Sephy? Sure some people do but that's not because you have any real skill it is because some people have sour grapes and are just a little bitter towards me. Every heard of the saying Controversy creates cash? While some people try to drum up controversy and fake hype.. I'm the real deal. I got people trying to get me fired behind the scenes, bet you didn't realize that did you? People trying to plant a bug in the ear of SCW brass. All of those Cunts talking trash trying to drag my oh so spotless reputation through the mud. Newsflash, everyone already knows what a prick I am in front of and behind the camera. So while people walk around whining about all the so called awful things I've done.. Oh you better watch out for Alex Kaelin! He's trouble! You goddamn right I am trouble. I am trouble for everyone on this roster and the SCW brass has taken notice of that. Alex Kaelin is here to stay.. Everyday I wake up, I got people wishing I was dead before my feet even hit the floor. I wouldn't have it any other way. And when I walk out of Inception with the Roulette Championship, I have no doubt that the trash talking will continue. And those same people who are claiming you are going to win Sephy? The first thing they are going to say is that Alex Kaelin won because he didn't face any real competition in this tournament and just like that you will be swept aside and they will just try and paint you as a joke. Yea, see how many of those people who are rooting for you to win stick around after I Curb Stomp your head into the damn ground.

Can't fault a guy for just stating facts right? Alex Kaelin has a bulls eye painted on his back and he has many people gunning for him. Sephy may use those nay sayers to try and lull himself into a false sense of security. Because, if everyone is saying he is going to win then it must be true right? Yea that's it, Alex Kaelin must not be as good as advertised.. If you believe that then it is true that a sucker is born every minute.

I kind of feel bad for you Sephy because everyone is picking you to win and you are probably believe the words of those with forked tongues. I could be booked in a steel cage match with a five year old girl who has down syndrome and I'm pretty sure no one would pick me to win because they can't stand me. You can let that go to your head, I mean if it helps you sleep better at night.. Or do you sleep during the day? Fuck it, point still stands. It doesn't matter who my opponent is, you won't see people jumping for joy saying Alex Kaelin is going to win.

See Sephy, you are kind of in a dead zone. People are pretty indifferent towards you. I'm always on someone's mind for better or worse. People look at you and they think, oh the funny looking creepy dude. Or that you are some monster, like the old universal horror movies. I like your gimmick kid, You may be the fallen one, the chosen one but you got a long ways to go before you can go toe to toe with The Notorious One. After this you are going to be dropped back to undercard faster then Mikah throws a shoe across the room. See I'm not playing these freaky deeky ghoul games like you. I don't care if you cut your promo in a church, in a graveyard, in a crypt, in front of the very gates of HELL!! Because NOTHING is stopping me from taking the gold."


Alex was focused, sure the whole monster hunter thing was one big hahaha gag. But make no mistake when he stepped into the ring at SCW Inception, Sephy was going to be in for the beating of his life. No doubt even he was probably beginning to believe what people are saying about Alex Kaelin when in reality he only has a snowballs chance in hell of winning and walking out the roulette champion.

"Some people in this world walk around like the big bad boogieman. They try to instill fear in people and convince them that they are truly a monstrous creation. Me? I'm exactly what they say I am. I'm a backstabbing, cutthroat son of a bitch. The true monsters are the ones who don't go around showing it to the world, it's the ones who escaped the abyss and walk among you that you really need to be worried about. I'll do whatever it takes to reach the top. Stepping on friend and foe alike on my way to the top. You need to know what it is you are stepping into the ring with Sephy. If you have convinced yourself that I am just another man then you are sadly mistaken. I'm like that black cloud that casts over the sky when bad things come rolling into town. You think it is just some coincidence that some people are on edge since I signed with SCW? They don't want me to succeed, they want to see me gone and cast away back into the bottomless pit. Yet time and time again I prove them wrong. This time will be no different. No one will ever accuse me of being a saint or a night in shining armor. Maybe that should tell you something about how bad of a person I am when people are rooting for the monster to seize the day. No matter how big and bad you are, I am that much nastier. And at Inception.. You are going to find out first hand that.. Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.."

With those parting words, the scene faded to static.

|| END SCENE ||

----------

|| Thoughts Of A Dangerous Man  : Off Camera ||

At three O'clock in the morning, you never have many options when insomnia creeps up on you. Alex was use to being up late, he was never one to get up early in the morning, always the one to prowl the night. But sometimes, you didn't feel like going out on the town. You wanted to sit and just sort of relax, wind down for the night. So you begin to flip channels, they try and sell you silly putty out of a spray can that will plug up holes as big as your mothers vagina. The music channels actually begin to play music videos, you can check out the sports highlights and of course the twenty four hour news station to remind you the world truly is going to hell. And if you are desperate for a good wank you can turn to the softcore porn on skinemax. But when in doubt, turn to the discovery channel. Something compelled Alex to stop on that channel and watch the documentary that was playing.

A lion was sitting under a shade tree, just sitting their.. Minding his own business. Life was good for the king of the jungle right? Alex had the volume turned down and had no idea what they are saying about this lion. Alex props his elbow up on the couch and stares at the television as the screen illuminates the darkness. He watches as a few of the cubs come over to the lion, they begin nipping at him and they begin to bother him but the lion doesn't budge. He doesn't move, not so much as a growl. Then the lioness begins walking around, trying to get the attention of the other young lions. Just causing all sorts of trouble, yet the Lion still does not move. All these animals just poking at him, prodding him, thinking they are just hot shit and untouchable. And they kept getting bolder and bolder, you can almost imagine these animals laughing at him thinking they can get away with anything.

And then the Lion gets up and all the other animals freeze. The young lions take a few steps back, the lioness cowers and sulks slowly back into the bush. And all those other animals that had been poking at the Lion.. They know they are completely fucked. The instant they realize they have crossed the line, that they aren't the hot shit they had convinced themselves they are.. That's when they begin to run. But that lion, he runs after them and begins to tear everything in his path to shreds. A bloodbath, fur and blood and bones just sprawled all over.

That brought a smile to Alex's face. The lion turned to the rest of the pride and they had all cowered because they had just been reminded that he was still the KING of the mother fucking jungle. That beast reminded the other animals who he was and they best not forget it. Funny how you can compare that to the world of pro wrestling. All these jackals coming around and nipping at you, trying to cause trouble. But at the end of the day that is just what they are, Jackals. And just like that Lion, sometimes you have to stand up and remind those Jackals just who he is. For Alex Kaelin, Inception was going to be the time to remind everyone just who he was. It was time to stand up and just tear everyone in his path to shreds, that meant Sephiroth Du Lac was going to be the first Jackal to be torn to shreds. He stood up and walked outside, looking out into the Vegas night and put a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

"Motherfuckers don't know what is coming..."

He said to himself as he lit one up. A lot of people in this world are use to having people cheering them on. Alex was not one of those guys, while he wasn't the underdog he was just the guy people detested. He had very few friends in this world and more enemies then he knew what to do with. Lately he had let a lot of shit slide, and why did he do this? Because he knew that he would have the last laugh. When you are insecure, you have to find any platform you can get your hands on to tell the world how great you are and how awful other people are. Alex knew this game, he'd played it before. But those Jackals would be the ones sulking back into the bush. Because at the end of the day you had to step between those ropes and get the job done. That is something Alex did better then anyone else.

Alex Kaelin would always have his doubters, his haters and more heat then anyone in the wrestling industry. But that's okay, it kept him warm at night. Once you choose a path you have to walk that trail for better or worse. On the surface it seemed as though Alex was all fun and games, making fun of people and not taking anything seriously. But under the surface, he was very cold and calculated in everything he did. In fact, that is probably why so many people hate him. They think he is just some sort of harmless individual who is all laughs and then they get fucked over and realize that he was a wolf in sheep clothing. That is just how he wanted it, let everyone think he was a joke because when he decided to stand up.. He would tear their fucking world apart.

He didn't believe in journals, no when you write shit down it can get into the wrong hands and god knows what happens. But your thoughts, no one can hack that shit. Inception was still another week away and he was already dialed in. Their was the Alex Kaelin in front of the camera and the guy behind the camera that not many people got to see. Oh yeah, you would hear some heart warming stories about how people are "not bad" off camera. No, Alex was a horrible person and no one would accuse him of being a man of high moral fiber.

The lights of Vegas always felt like home to him. He stood their taking a drag off his cigarette, wearing nothing but a pair of old jeans he would wear around the house. The lights from the city flickering in his eyes. If people knew what was really going on in his head, they would view him in a whole different light. Not that it would be a good light, but definitely more of a threat. He liked things just how they are. Keep the two sides of his personality separated, on camera and off camera. It's something that he took a little pride in, the way he could fool people and play them like a fucking fiddle. That's when people really get mad at you, when you have played them for a fool. Alex was good at using people, if he kept someone close it normally meant that it was for his own advantage.

The Rejects? It was always nice to have strength in numbers, having a few people watching your back never hurt. Even if he didn't exactly feel they all had his back. These are the thoughts of a man who was a week away from stepping into the ring with a man who sadly just wasn't prepared for the storm that was coming. Many people wanted to peek into the mind of Alex Kaelin, is it a dark place? Not exactly, but it wasn't a place you wanted to stay very long. Everyday was plotting, using the people around him a chess pieces.. Until finally.. Checkmate.

|| END SCENE ||

AIM : n0torious1 | Twitter : Notorious702

>

Offline Alex Kaelin

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ALEX KAELIN vs SEPHIROTH DU LAC
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2015, 09:11:54 PM »
 || A Stones Throw Across The Pond : Off Camera ||

"Sir.. Would you like something to drink?"

The stewardess may have said it two or three times before Alex slowly turned his head. When he agreed to sign with Sin City Wrestling, he assumed that he would be staying in the general area. Flying to a bordering state? No problem, flying to the fucking UK? Who's bright idea was that. After shaking the thought off for a moment, Alex looked up at the young woman who had one to many Twinkies. She had some budunka dunk in her trunk.. He holds up a hand as if to say "No thanks' and the expression on his face is one of "Get the hell away from me." The woman tries her best to put on a smile and try to be polite but he noticed her knuckles turn white as she gripped the handle of the cart. He leaned back in his chair and just looked straight forward. The closer he got to the event, the less he wanted to talk and the more he just wanted to get into the ring with Sephirtoh Du Lac and beat the hell out of each other. Alex didn't fear Sephiroth one bit, then again that may be some of his sociopathic tendencies to blame. Maybe he should be scared, maybe even petrified. Instead, he just wanted to get in that ring and hit that albino mother fucker in the jaw as hard as he could. Alex didn't even care if he no sold it, do the whole turn his head thing then snap his neck back so that he was looking Alex in the eyes. Eventually the so called monster would fall and when he did.. Alex would be ready to stomp his fucking head in. When he looked around at the people on the plane with him, you had a melting pot. People from all over the world, right now have one destination. Jolly ol' England.

"So what brings you to our side of the pond?"

Alex turned his head and saw that a little old British lady was sitting next to him. How did he know she was British? Her fucking accent that is how. She was wearing a pair of dark colored slacks and a blue blouse. The wrinkles on her face made her look old and ragged, and she wore a funny looking at that matched her blouse. Oh and her teeth.. What was it with the British and those funky looking teeth?

"Top secret business."

"Oh you can tell me, I can keep a secret."

He cocked an eyebrow as her laugh sounded like someone running a piece of copper through a cheese grater. Alex though, never passed on an opportunity to fuck with someone.  Even some harmless little old lady. So he cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his slicked back hair.

"Well mam, you may not believe me.. But I am a vampire hunter.."

"Oh you expect me to believe that tale?"

"Are you doubting me?"

The old ladies face looked as though it was frozen in a permanent scowl, even when she did try and smile it looked as though it took every ounce of life she had left in her to just to show those goofy looking teeth. Alex though, kept a straight face and nodded his head as he spoke.

"It's true, My name is Alex Kaelin.. I'm kind of a big deal.. And I am after a very special vampire.. You know, the pale variety.. Not the sparkly kind, nah he doesn't have a real sparkly demeanor. This vampire is going to get his head caved in by me very soon."

"I thought you had to stab a vampire through the heart?
"What have you been reading dracula or some shit?"

"Watch your tongue!"

This old bitch proceeded to reach out and grab Alex by the tip of his tongue. You couldn't make out what he was saying as she tugged on it, holding his tongue between her index finger and thumb. Thankfully she was wearing white gloves. She let go and Alex gave her a look like "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Eh.. Sorry.. As I was saying, these vampires you have to stomp them in the back of the head. Preferably they should have their head rested against a hard surface. I should know, I'm a professional."

He kept a straight face, even though this old bat was having a field day with this story. Listen, Alex has some fucking time to kill and if he feels like telling some old lady he is a vampire hunter then by god he is a goddamn vampire hunter.

"And what has this vampire done to deserve such harsh treatment?"

"He's a damn vampire? These things need to be wiped off the face of the earth, they are like mosquitoes except.. Well they are very big mosquitoes. Did you know vampires carry Ebola?

"Oh my word! That is just awful."

"That's right it is very awful. You don't want him suckin on someone's neck and spreading ebola do you? I'm not just a vampire hunter, I'm a damn hero for taking care of this albino blood sucker. And when I do, they are going to give me a.. A medal of honor, a medal so big they have to make it into a belt."

"A belt you say?"

"Yes, a belt. Because I will not just be a vampire hunter, I will be a vampire slayer. Gonna ship his shiny white ass back to Transylvania. How would you like it if, all of a sudden.. A mist rolls into your bedroom and then this big creepy pale dude with long white hair and his big white fangs leans down and tries to go all necrophilia on your wrinkled old ass?

Of course, Alex had the mouth of a sailor and she took that white glove off and slapped him across the face with it. He couldn't help it? Alex wasn't exactly the kind of person who hung around people who actually had manners. He was use to the rejects, hell you had a bitch who would throw stuff at people if they so much as looked at her wrong.

"That is just about enough of that, no ones clammy hands are going to put their hands on my muffin.

"Mam, I will make sure his clammy hands don't come close to your.. Uh, muffin.."

Alex gagged in his mouth a little, her 'muffin' likely molded years ago and was a fucking forest down in her basket. The thought would disturb him for the rest of the flight more then likely, and she flashed those awful teeth. Sadly she might like it if Sephy decided to roll his batmobile into her batcave.

"Well you are just a sweet little crumpet aren't you."

She pinched his cheek and Alex gritted his teeth and smiled the best he could. The old bag was getting a little to touchy feely for his liking. Last thing he needed was for the old hag to get a wild hair up her crumpet and decide to try and jump his bones.

"Uh.. Mam, My girlfriend is an ex marine.. She tends to get violent when other women lay hands on me. I would hate for her to hurt you."

His voice sounded so sincere, as though he was trying to save this old hag from the wrath of his beautiful blonde marine girlfriend. Shit.. Or was it the army.. Damn it, he always got the silent treatment for getting that confused. But, she wouldn't know so he wouldn't get in trouble right? Ha, and if he was right then that was a fucking score!

"Dear, if a marine laid a hand on me.. That would be an act for war.."

"Woah, cool your jets. She's actually really nice, slight jealousy issues but that is really a trait I admire about her."

"She sounds like a keeper.. Have you popped the big question?"

Oh goddamn it, what was with everyone thinking he popped the fucking question? Not that he wouldn't just.. Fuck off. Alex furrowed his brow as he looked at the old lady and he pointed his finger right at her when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and brushed the hand off his shoulder, expecting the stewardess with a twinky cream stain on her vest but instead a man was standing in a dark blue suit and sunglasses. His hair combed perfectly to the side.

"Sir, you need to calm down."

"Well bloody hell, who are you?"

Alex looked around and everyone was wide eyed. this wasn't a scene? Why are they all starring at them? He had not even raised his voice that loud, the hell.. Did this lady of some sort of private security? What made her so damn important. Alex put his ear buds in and cranked up some avenged sevenfold and try and get through the rest of this flight without dealing with any old hags or British people and those funny looking teeth. Some people would take this time to focus on the match they had coming up at Inception. Deep in thought, looking over every move and trying to figure out every counter to their opponents counter to the counter they used to counter the other move that they used two matches ago. No, he was thinking about fucking the hell out of his girlfriend when he got back home from jolly old England. Shit.. Was that old had checking out his boner? Bet not, that would be fucking creepy.. Uh, the british are just such creepy bastards. Along with a few naps, with visions of Krissy Filapovich dancing through his head.. He made it to England in one piece. Once the plane landed everyone was told to be seated except for a few guys in suits walking towards the front. They stopped next to Alex and looked down.

"Well.. I mean, I know I'm a big deal and all but.."

"Excuse me dear, but I need to scoot by."

Oh no.. No no no no.. Now the question was the ass or the crotch.. Damn it, the old bitch decided to stick her big old crumpet in his face as she passed by. When she turned around, she gave him a little wink as the four men surrounded her.

"Lady, just what makes you so important? Who do you think you are.. The Queen of.."

She lifted her hand, cutting him off before she could finish.

"The Queen Of England? Why yes.. yes I do.."

The look on his face was one of "Oh you have to be kidding me?" Was that? No.. Couldn't be.. As he watched the old lady make her way off the plane with a grand escort. Soon after everyone else was let off, when he got into the airport. Alex stepped to the side and pulled out his cell phone, he brought up his contacts and hit the one that said "KrissyPoo" and hit dial. After a few rings he heard a very chipper voice, she was happy to hear from him.

"Hey baby, how was the flight?"

"Good.. Umm, I think I might have almost started a war."

"Jesus christ, Alex you haven't even been in the country that long!"

"Well I think I might have told the Queen of England that you are going to kick her fucking ass.."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Oh shit, hey baby I miss you too and I got to catch my ride to the hotel.. Love you Kriiiiiisy"

Alex spoke in a very chipper voice to try and calm the situation. As he was hanging up the phone he could hear her yelling at him. Alex would give her a call later and they would have a good laugh. He put his sunglasses on and walked towards a guy holding a sign that said "Reserved for Rejects!" at least when Watts said a car would be waiting for him.. He wasn't kidding. Now the stage was set for Inception, Alex Kaelin was going one on one with The Great White Hope. The Roulette title on the line, and that baby was coming home with Alex Kaelin.

AIM : n0torious1 | Twitter : Notorious702

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