Chevelle - The Red
Kris
One more and I have to catch a flight.
Jason moves around behind the drum kit. Now that his knee was more mobile he had made alterations to it since it was first set up. This cement cube that used to be a garage had become our own old school style garage set up. It was nicer than the one we had in those days. Not sure our parents were ever around, or near sober enough, to realize that we had cleaned out a section of their garage to put this stuff in. That garage was never used for cars. This one? Jay's and Haley's cars were so close that we could reach out and touch them. We had to keep the garage door open so the amps wouldn't blow the windows on them.
Jason
What do you want to play?
Kris
Here's what I am thinking.....
He doesn't recognize the first few notes, but I play the same bit of the opening a few times before he nods. These sessions we have had are all about throwing out all those old feelings and trying to move past. This was a big monster though. One that existed not just for one of us but for both of us.
Kris
They say freak. When you're singled out..... The red.... well it filters through.
He doesnt look up, instead from drum to drum from left to right and then each symbol from right left. I can tell he feels a little uncomfortable. A forced smile crosses his face and he gives me a few kicks of the bass and then rolls around the toms a few times. He finds the rhythm he is looking for despite the closed high hat and just holds to it, looking up at me. I step back to where the microphone stands, and stay facing him. He seems to be waiting for me to start, smacking his microphone away and letting the bar swivel it away from his kit. At once he is back and focused on the drums though. He keeps his hands moving, probably absent mindedly and sits up a little towards the hanging microphone.
Kris
So lay down, the threat is real, when his sight goes red again....
The nights being woken up by things crashing in another room. The screams that led to the door of our bedroom. They are almost so loud I forget how to play. I am six again and I am terrified.
Kris
Seeing red again! Seeing red again!
Jason is on the floor screaming. I run from our bedroom to the hallway. Its seven steps to the kitchen table. The first thing he throws when he is angry is the chairs, so sliding under it is easy.
Kris
This change, he won't contain. Slip away, to clear your mind.
Think about something else. Something happy. Anything but what you know is happening to your big brother. Get up from under the table. The door is right there. Go out into the backyard. The shed is always open. We have the little cubby in there. Two blankets and a pillow.
Kris
When asked, who made it show, the truth, he gives in to most.
Dad will fall asleep soon. He will wear himself out. Probably wont even notice I am gone. Maybe wont notice. Maybe doesn't care. Jason will come get me when its over. It will all be ok in a minute.
Kris
So lay down, the threat is real, when his sight goes red again.....
The lights start to go out. I cant hear them screaming anymore. Maybe he already already himself down. Then I hear it. Steps outside. Is he coming out here? Did Jay tell him where I went? No. He wouldnt do that.
Kris
So lay down, the threat is real, when his sight goes red again....
The steps go away. Back to the truck. It starts and the gears grind. That god awful noise followed by a backfire. He is leaving. That has to be good right?
Kris
So lay down, the threat is real, when his sight goes red again....
I snap out of it. I hadn't missed a beat. The look on Jay's face tells me the same thoughts were running through his mind.
Kris
They say freak...
(.... when your eyes are blacked...)
Kris
When you're singled out....
(... with bruises always new...)
Kris
The red, it filters through...
We both broke broke down from the song. I ran the chords higher and higher until I was walking them down towards the base of the guitar. He lit the snare up before rolling through the standing toms. The cymbals crashed seemingly all at once, and before the kick cut us both off at the same time..
Jason
I didnt know if you were old enough to remember all of that.
I take a few steps to the new racks on the wall and hang the guitar up as he moves himself back from the kit and found his support cane. He has pulled himself back around the front of the kit by the time I turn around.
Kris
I was six. Dont you remember shit from when you were that young.
He laughed. There was a kind of desperation in it that I dont think he meant to show. Of course he probably remembers it. The beatings most likely went on longer than I could ever hope to imagine. By the times my memory starts the running away, the cut path to the doorway, that stuff was already ingrained in me. Who knows when Jay mapped that out. Maybe it was always for Lindsey. Maybe it was never even meant for me.
Jason
I was hoping the drug years may have knocked those memories out for good. Thats not the kind of stuff I like to dwell on kid.
That was what the desperation in his voice was. His will to be the only one left alive to carry the burden of it. I could be honest here. I could tell him that I still wake up some nights in a panic like he is shaking me awake to hide in the corner behind the door so I can make a run for it once he gets into the room. I could just slip by while Jay laid down and provoked with whatever words came to mind. I would burden him by letting him know that it is all still vivid for me. There is no reason to pile that on him though.
Kris
Its hazy, you know? Like trying to remember a dream after you wake up. There are bits and pieces, but nothing much. I know something like that happened a lot. I cant pull out details though. Probably not like you can.
The relief on his face made the lie worth telling. He carries so much. I can shoulder my part of this one. Its the least I can do for being the weight o have been on him for the last six years.
Jason
Doesnt matter. Just... good luck in this SCW thing. Forget all that kid shit. You have to focus on winning something and not mucking up my last name.
He wanted me to go but he wasn't concerned with the match. I could tell that much. The jab at me was half hearted at best. I had really stirred some shit up this time.
Kris
It might be your name now, but that shadow I am in shrinks everyday you are on that cane.
This lit his face up. It gave me everything I needed to know. He could let it fall away. He could shrug it off and he lived with it for five years longer than I did. He took everything thrown at him and was still good enough to make a name for himself. At the same time, it made that name that much harder to live up to.
Jason
Youre going to have K-Halc written in the lights.
We both had a chuckle
Kris
To with that man. I dont want to mimic your shit name.
_________________________________________________________
[On-Camera]
Kris
I could insult you.
The scene starts with one simple sentence. A camera sits in front of the new SCW signee, with the backdrop being some kind of flowered wall paper that has come to define hotel rooms.
Kris
I could demean you. I could tear you apart, and leave you only hoping that you could put yourself back together before it was time for our match.
The camera starts to zoom out from the newcomer's face, showing his entire torso now.
Kris
... but I am not going to do that. See, I dont know you. The only thing I do know about you is that you are the kind of guy that likes to talk big on twitter after shamelessly flirting with those mentally challenged females blabbering about doing their nails. Thats cool man. I get it. Thats your thing.
He sits back in the chair and looks around the room, organizing his thoughts.
Kris
SCW says we have clashing styles. That means you are either going to take me to the mat, or I am going to run circles around you until you get dizzy and make a mistake. Only one can happen. Which will it be? I am not so full of myself that I can guarantee it will go my way.
He interlaces his fingers in from of his chest and leans forward into the camera.
Kris
People are putting bets on me to win this one because of what my last name is. People see my brother as the XWA Triple Crown or the IWF Champion of Champions. The guy six years deep with a resume ten pages long. Heres the problem with their thinking though...... I'm not him.
He reaches out and scoops up the camera.
Kris
My resume isnt as long, my career isn't as decorated. Im not six years deep. However, I'm faster, I'm younger, and I am out to prove I am better. That, my friend, is a problem for you.
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