The scene opens in the bowels of the Movistar Arena in Santiago, Chili. From around a corner, SCW interviewer “Stoner” Scott Oliver comes rushing around a corner with a cameraman following behind him. The Stoner stops abruptly in the middle of the hallway. The cameraman is unable to stop in time and crashes into The Stoner. The Stoner goes flying forward, flailing around in a very comical way, before landing face first on the floor. He slowly pulls himself back to a standing position rubbing his chest.
Stoner: Watch where you’re going, dude!
Cameraman: That wouldn’t have happened if you knew where the hell you were going. What are you looking for anyway?
Stoner: It’s not what. It’s who. I’ve heard that Tom Dudely is somewhere around here and I’m going to get the first interview with him.
The Stoner looks down one stretch of the hall, and then the other, before waving the cameraman forward and shooting back down the hall. The cameraman shakes his head in disbelief before following Mr. Oliver. They reach the end of the hall and turn the corner. The Stoner stops abruptly again, but this time the cameraman has given him enough space to prevent another collision.
Stoner: What the heck is this?
The camera moves to reveal returning SCW Superstar Tom Dudely in the middle of an interview with another SCW interviewer, Pussy Willow. The Stoner storms over to Pussy Willow and gets into her face.
Stoner: What are you doing? This is my interview. I called dibs.
Tom and Pussy start laughing.
Tom: Dibs? What are we? Twelve?
Stoner: But, I said that I wanted to interview Tom when he got back.
Pussy smiles in a slightly seductive way.
Pussy: Look, Scotty, Tom has already agreed to do the interview with me. So, why don’t you go interview someone else? How about Goth?
The Stoner shivers.
Stoner: That guy creeps me out. Why don’t you go do his and I’ll finish up Tom’s?
Pussy: How about I don’t?
Pussy Willow’s eyes narrow at The Stoner who quickly takes a step back.
Tom: Look, Stonehenge, how about you just get the hell out of here and let the lady do her job. She’s much more qualified to interview someone of my caliper anyway.
The Stoner looks at Tom with disbelief.
Stoner: By better qualified, are you referring to those things on her chest?
Pussy Willow looks offended.
Pussy: Why, I never…
Tom puts up his hand to stop Ms. Willow.
Tom: No, actually he’s right. If you hadn’t promised me a date after the show I probably wouldn’t have given you the interview.
Pussy: What?!?!
Tom realizes that he just ruined his chances to have Pussy tonight. She looks offended as she storms off down the hall. Tom calls after her.
Tom: Does that mean that our date is off?
She swings around and walks back to the men. She gets in Tom’s face and speaks through clinched teeth.
Pussy: I was NEVER going to go out with you. The day I go on a date with you is the day I die.
Stoner: I never knew you were into necrophilia.
Pussy glares at the Stoner before turning away and disappearing down the hall. The remaining men stand in awkward silence for a moment before The Stoner breaks it.
Stoner: Did you know she was into necrophilia?
Tom: Oh, Shut up, you idiot!
There’s another moment of awkward silence. This time, Tom is the one to break it.
Tom: So, are you going to finish my interview or what?
This brightens The Stoner’s demeanor.
Stoner: I thought you’d never ask!
The cameraman sets up and, after a couple of minutes, the interview is underway with a shot of The Stoner.
Stoner: Dudes and Dudettes, for many years people have been wondering, where in there world is Santiago? I have found Santiago. It’s in Chili. I’m here right now with someone else that has been missing for the last few months, Tom Dudely.
The camera pans out to reveal Tom looking at “Stoner” Scott Oliver incredulously.
Tom: Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
Stoner: Huh?
Tom: It’s “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” you idiot!
Stoner: So… we’re in Carmen Santiago, Chili?
Tom pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.
Tom: You’re going to be the death of me. My blood pressure goes up so much when you’re around.
Stoner: Thanks!
Tom shakes his head.
Tom: Just get on with this interview.
Stoner: Oh, right. Umm… where were we?
Tom starts snapping his fingers rapidly.
Tom: First question. Come on! Get your shit straight.
Stoner: You don’t have to be so mean, dude.
Tom: If I hadn’t promised to keep my hands off of the staff, I’d kick your ass right now, but Christian made me promise. You’re making it really, really hard right now.
Stoner: That’s what she said!
The Stoner starts laughing at his joke. Tom’s face gradually turns to a dark shade of red. He grabs “Stoner” Scott Oliver by the collar of his shirt and slams him up against the wall.
Tom: Listen here you little puke stain. Interviewing me is not a joke. I’m a former World Champion. I’m a multi-time tag team champion. I’m a member of the most elite group to be formed in wrestling history. Tonight, I’m going to go into that ring and do what I do best… have my way with my opponent.
Tom releases The Stoner.
Tom: Now, piss off!
The Stoner stands in place looking lost. Tom raises a fist that sends The Stoner running away down the hall. Tom looks satisfied with his work as he walks away. The scene fades.
