[The Jersey Devil Diva]

  Act 1: Snow in March

“The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.”
Denis Leary



Tuesday March 19th

The scene opens on the beautiful city of Bogota Colombia. The late afternoon sun shimmered over the vast city, as tourists made their way through the ancient winding streets in search of bargains or some historical site within the city. The streets are crowded with traffic as they move to and fro places of business, while the beautiful tropical palm trees move gently in the light breeze that moved about the city. The camera soon pans out to the outskirts of the city into the vast green and lush fields where we see workers moving among the vast fields of coffee, sugar, and tobacco, but there was one that was different then the rest. A large plantation house sat on a hill over looking the vast fields. The camera pans over the massive estate, as we see armed guards on every corner of the house with semi-automatic weapons. The camera moves to a balcony where we see Joanne and the boys sitting with an older gentleman and two of his own bodyguards. His salt and pepper hair was neatly kept and his white suit was pressed. Joanne wore her usual dark suit, and her hair was tied back from her tanned face.

Joanne: This is such a beautiful place. I'm surprised that you contacted me really.

Don Fernando: Quería hablar contigo antes de irme a la otra Don. (I wanted to speak with you before I went to the other Don's.)

Joanne: I'm glad you did. I heard the stuff from Colombia is still the best, and I want to make sure my customers get the best for their money.

Don Fernando: Of course Don Canelli. The stuff that I produce is the best in all of Colombia.

Joanne: All of the Drug Lords down here claim that. But I have a feelin' I can make a deal with you, and be satisfied with what I get.

Don Fernando: Of course you will. If you want we can go down to the factory and you can sample it for yourself if you like...

Joanne: That's a very temptin' offer, but I think I'll let my brother handle that. He's the expert when it comes to candy.

Scarpaci: Sure. I'll be your guinea pig.

Don Fernando gets to his feet, as does Joanne. They shake hands and he and Scarpaci walk off toward the factory, leaving Joanne and the boys alone.

Reno: Are you sure it's a good idea to send Scarpaci with him? I mean he's going to end up making a deal that we can't afford.

Rude: Just think we'll be able to get rid of him if he does boss.

Joanne: True, but I'm not to worried with how much we get... We can move it with the connections we have everywhere. I want a decent price on it. Now lets head back to the hotel... I want to relax before my match this week.

Reno: Sounds good to me.

The three of them head back toward the front door, and to the limo that was waiting for them as the scene fades to black.

Act 2: A new Addiction



The scene reopens on a hotel room somewhere in the city of Bogota Colombia. The night had come and the bright lights of the city shone brightly below. We soon see Reno and Rude sitting in front of a big screen TV playing Mass Effect. Joanne walks into the room and leans on the back of the couch, watching them play. The game was violent, but what first person shooter wasn't now? They continue through the area until it comes to an end. Joanne watches and smiles to herself as she continues to watch.

Joanne: What are you playin'?

Reno: Mass Effect.

Joanne: Any good?

Reno: Yeah. You get to save the universe and deal with a lot of stuff, and carry big ass guns.

Rude: Yeah but you're forgetting the best thing of all man... We have a mod on here that allows us to make our character look like us. We even made one for you.

Reno hands her the controller, as a female Commander Shepard appears on the screen and it was Joanne as the great hero that would save the galaxy from the blight. Joanne sits on the couch and starts to mess with the controls before she figures it out, and begins to play. The hours pass and soon Joanne is sitting by herself on the couch still playing the game.

The next Day

As the camera focuses in we still see Joanne sitting on the couch playing Mass Effect. By this time she has reached the end and ready to destroy the big baddie. Reno and Rude walk into the room, and walk over to the couch, just as Joanne fires the last shot.

Joanne: I did it... I brought that son of a bitch down and it just took me all night... But I did it...

Rude: You've been up all night playing? Damn.

Reno: I thought the bed was kind of empty last night.

Joanne: Shame that's the end of it... I really liked that one.

Reno: Well there are two...

Rude: What the fuck man? Don't tell her... We'll never get to play if she knew that there are two more games.

Reno looks at him as Joanne's eyes widen at the thought of two more Mass Effects just waiting to be played.

Joanne: There's two more? Give me!

Reno: Man, why did you tell her there were two more? This is going to be a boring week.

Rude: What about your match against that Jessie Salco chick?

Reno: Yeah... It's for the Bombshell Roulette Championship.

Joanne: I know, and I'll get around to it. I saw what she had to say and I really don't care what she thinks of me... I want to sit here and play all of these before I have to do anythin'. So you two can sit down and shut up for a while. I'm goin' to save the universe again!

They sigh and sit on either side of her. Time passes and sh seems to whip through each mission a little quicker then the guys had ever seen. The door to the suite opens and Scarpaci walks in.

Rude: Where in the hell have you been?

Scarpaci: In talks with Fernando... I tried to call but you never picked up.

Joanne: Sit down and shut the fuck up!

Scarpaci: How come she gets to play and you won't let me even have a turn?

Rude: Because we don't like you. No one likes you! Hell you don't even like you.

Scarpaci: True enough...

The hours once again pass and we find Joanne sitting alone on the couch. She had burned through the second game and was now almost done with the third. The last part of the game was starting and a choice had to be made. Live, die, or become one of the creatures that she was trying to destroy. She makes the choice of death, and faces flash on the screen and tears slide down Joanne's cheeks as the end of the game plays through. She sets the controller down and stretches before she gets up and walks to the window looking over the city.

Joanne: It's funny how much fem Shep and I are alike. She had people under her that looked to her for guidance, as do my people. We work together to keep everythin' safe for my people, and I would go out of my way to do what was needed for any of them. I've been in this game a long time and I've had titles around my waist more times then I can count. When you step into that ring with me, I just hope you what you are gettin' yourself into Jessie. I don't play nice with other children, and I'm not one to hold back and I won't in this match. I let Angel get off easy, but even then I made sure to put a few bruises on her face and the rest of her before she left the ring.

Joanne smiles to herself as she continues to look out the window at the city as it starts to come to life.

Joanne: The thin' is with me is this... When I use my underhanded tactics you never see it comin' until it's to late and you're laid out on the mat. But I never underestimate any of my opponents unless I know they can't stand against someone like me. But you... You're different and I'm goin' to do everythin' that I can to brin' you down, and gain my very first title in the SCW. I don't care what it takes or what I have to do to get it... But I will be walkin' away the new SCW Bombshell Roulette Champion, and you'll be laid out in the middle of the ring.

She turns slightly and looks at the camera with her dark eyes glistening in the early morning sun.

Joanne: Sunday will be only my second match, but you know what I'm goin' to make one that everyone will remember. I just hope you'll be ready to face me, because I am the Jersey Devil Diva... No fuck that... I am Fem Shep! See you soon.

Joanne smiles and sits back on the couch, and picks up the controller once again, and begins to play as the scene fades to black.