A frozen scene, in a busy looking place. Party revelers stand around and flashing lights stand frozen in time. ACW Maritime Junior Heavyweight Champion, Ben Jordan walks in front of the camera, a smile on his face as he presses his hands together. Ben is wearing silver suit pants with a black button up shirt, a shiny black shoes. Ben winks at the camera and puts a thumb up, before he starts speaking.
Ben: Hello lovelies, how ya doing? All cushdy I hope. Ben Jordan here as always to show you a fun side. Now what you see before me.... well behind me, obviously, is good old London town, it's New Years Eve, and I'm a little pissed up to the eyeballs on beer and shots. Now I know today's not really New Years Eve, this is a bit like a Crimewatch reconstruction, you British fellas will get that one. But I know New Years Eve was a shitload of fun over here, and it would be a bloody crime not to show it on here and make ya all smile a little bit. What's the point of jumping in to the new year with the hump, hey American fellas, I am not being a dirty little arab, hump means grumpy. You might as well go in it drunk as a skunk and smiling. It's pretty much what I did.
Ben turns around, taking a beer out of the nearest man's hand and looks back to the camera
Ben: Anyway, belated Happy New Year ACW, this is what I got up to.
Ben turns and walks in to the crowd and clicks his fingers and the crowd start to move again, the camera focuses on the man, who Ben took the beer from. The man looks at his empty hand in confusion as Ben's voice is heard in the crowd behind him
Ben: Hehehe, what a plonker!
The camera catches up with Ben in the middle of a group of party goers, three men and three women, as he moves his way through the busy London streets, alive with the atmosphere of renewed hope for the year just around the corner.
Ben: Alright treacle.
Ben says to a female party goer, walking past him, wearing a short skirt and tight top in the cold London air. She turns back to look at Ben, while wearing huge glassless glasses with two thousand and thirteen on them. Ben looks at the camera.
Ben: Bet the geezer that makes those things earn a fortune at this time of year. Wonder what he does the rest of the year?
Mickey Carroll's hand reaches on to Ben's shoulder, causing Ben to jump around.
Ben: Fucking hell geezer, nearly made me shit my Wile E Coyate pants then.
Mickey: Coyate?
Ben: Coyote, cayate, whatever sunshine. Where ya been hiding?
Mickey jolts his head towards a pub and reaches in to his pocket, pulling out a beer and handing it to Ben. Mickey reaches in to his other pocket and pulls out another for himself.
Mickey: It's a right bastard to get served tonight, people everywhere.
Ben takes a gulp of the older beer, drinking it down before placing the empty bottle in a nearby bin.
Ben: Keep Britain tidy people.
Mickey: Like anyone gives a rats arse about that.
Ben: Maybe son, maybe.
Ben takes another sip of beer.
Ben: We need shots mate, lots of them.
Mickey nods his head slowly up and down.
Mickey: Trying to think of a reason not to, but I got nothing, get ya money out mate.
Ben smiles and points to the nearest pub. Mickey nods in agreement and the duo start to walk through the crowd, weaving in and out of people. A drunk woman jumps towards Ben and Mickey, wrapping an arm around each other.
Drunk woman: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ben pulls his finger up to his ear, quickly rubbing the inside as the woman holds on.
Ben: Yeah, happy new year sweetheart.
The woman stumbles away and Ben continues to rub his ear.
Mickey: Someone you know?
Ben: No, but the bloody woman yelled right down my lug hole.
Mickey smiles as Ben as they walk in the door of the pub. Thumping beats of LMFAO's Sexy And I Know It, blasts through the speakers and Ben starts to dance. Mickey stops and looks at Ben but Ben steps closer dancing.
Mickey: Take one more step and you're going in to two thousand thirteen, without any teeth in ya mouth.
Ben: But Mickey, I'm sexy and I know it my old son!
Mickey shakes his head at Ben.
Mickey: Get to the bar, you plum.
Ben stops dancing and shrugs his shoulders before walking towards the bar, moving through the crowd. Mickey follows closely behind, moving through people and following Ben's path. Ben gets to the bar and stops. He looks up at a sign above the bar, showing the price of £2 a shot. Ben reaches in to his pocket, pulling out a twenty pound note and laying it on the bar as a barmaid walks towards them and stands in front of them.
Ben: Hello darling, ten shots of whatever ya fancy whacking in a shot glass.
The barmaid smiles at Ben and walks off. Ben looks at Mickey curiously.
Ben: Thought you said it was a bastard to get served.
Mickey softly growls.
Mickey: It was.
Ben: Maybe she's Gingerist!
Mickey puts his hand on Ben's shoulder, squeezing it slightly too hard. Ben grinds his teeth a little and looks at Mickey.
Ben: Alright, alright, if I wanted a massage, I'd have got a bird with bigger bangers than you.
Mickey lets Ben go as the woman returns with ten shots of different colored liquids. Ben hands her the twenty pound note and slides a shot in front of Mickey. Ben wraps his fingers around another of the shots, a blood red shot. The two men hit the glasses together.
Mickey: Bottoms up!
Ben looks around
Ben: Where? Where?
Mickey: Every damn time. You've been using that one since you started drinking.
Ben: Consistent if nothing else my old mucker.
Ben and Mickey drink the thick red liquid and slam the glasses down on the bar. Ben's face squints as he breathes out.
Ben: Gordon Bennent! That had some kick in it.
Mickey: Fucking pansy, that one didn't even burn.
Ben slides shot number two in front of Mickey, a dark brown shot
Ben: Try this one on for size.
Mickey picks it up as Ben grabs a matching one. Both men knock the glasses together and quickly drink them back. Ben instantly exhales as the glasses go back on to the bar, but Mickey looks unfazed by the second shot.
Ben: Chocolaaaaaateeeee
Ben's tone seems to have changed slightly as the alcohol kicks in a little.
Ben: That one tastes like a mars bar. Do they still make those? I could so go for one of those now!
Mickey smiles at Ben.
Mickey: Awwww Benny boy, is the alcohol getting to you a little now? Maybe you should sit down, put your feet up.
Ben looks firmly at a smiling Mickey.
Ben: I'm still good, I can keep this going, I still got this.
Mickey picks up a third shot and finds a matching color for Ben, this time, a very pale yellow color. Mickey smells the shot.
Mickey: Lemon... think you can handle a little lemon shot?
Ben smiles at Mickey
Ben: Yeah, I don't even feel drink.
Mickey: Drink?
Ben: Drunk! That's the word. I I'ed when I should have U'ed! Hehehe, I and U.
Mickey bites his lip, trying not to laugh at Ben as he hands him shot number three. Ben instantly knocks it back, his eyes never leaving Mickey. Mickey take his own lemon shot and drinks it back quickly. Ben smiles a goofy smile and looks at the straight faced Mickey.
Ben: Ok, now I feel a little drink.
Mickey: Drunk
Ben: That's what I said.
Mickey: Sit your arse down, before ya fall down.
Mickey points to a bar stool and Ben nods. Ben reaches for the top and stumbles a little, but he grabs hold of the bar, steadying himself.
Ben: Take that gravity!
Ben sits down on the seat, smiling at Mickey. Ben lifts his hand and waves at Mickey.
Ben: Alright geezer, ain't seen you in a while.
Mickey rolls his eyes.
Mickey: Yeah, been a while, have a shot.
Ben: I'm just kidding, I know who you are Andy Carroll.
Mickey: Hey, Andy Carroll is that lanky numpty that plays for West Ham.
Ben scratches his head and looks lost, but a look soon crosses his face as if a light bulb just lit up over his head.
Ben: Mickey! Mickey Carroll! That's it!
Mickey moves a neon green shot in front of Ben and picks the same color for himself, Ben stares down at the shot.
Ben: You know, if everything was that color, we wouldn't need slight switches, if you get that big enough, like in a pint glass, it could like, light up a whole room.
Mickey: If you say so.
Mickey picks up the neon green shot, as does Ben. Both men quickly drink them back. Ben puts the glass back on the bar and leans on it. Ben serveys the empty glasses
Ben: Where did they all come from? They really don't keep this boozer tidy.
Mickey: Maybe they'll clean up when we finish this last shot.
Ben puts his chin down on the bar, looking at the last shot, a milky white shot. Ben looks at it and looks up at Mickey. Ben bursts out in uncontrollable laughter.
Mickey: Did I miss the joke?
Ben tries to calm down, looking at Mickey again.
Ben: I was just thinking if you, and that Misty chick ever had kids, they will turn out to be this color!
Ben starts laughing again as he drunkenly points at the shot glass.
Ben: They'd make snow white look tanned!
Ben laughs again, but Mickey's face changes to a growl.
Mickey: I'll get ya back for that one, wanker.
Ben doesn't hear Mickey through the laughter, but Mickey puts the shot in front of Ben's face. A smiles crosses Mickey's face, a plan for revenge formulating in his mind.
Mickey: Drink up Benny boy, cause I got a great idea.
Ben sits up, looking at Mickey with a drunken smile.
Ben: I love great ideas!
Ben quickly picks up the shot and drinks it back, Mickey does the same, a smile on his face. Ben puts the glass down excitedly and looks at Mickey.
Ben: So what's this great idea?
Mickey leans in to Ben, whispering in his ear, Ben looks confused
Ben: Really?
Mickey leans in again, whispering in Ben's ear. Ben's eyes go wide as he nods quickly.
Ben: That is brilliant! You're playing a blinder tonight!
Ben stands up and stumbles away from Mickey, but Mickey bursts out in to fits of laughter.
Mickey: What an idiot!
From across the bar, Ben is seen scramble on a table, wearing just his shirt, shoes, and boxer shorts with the image of Wile E Coyote on the front. Mickey bursts out in to more laughter as people in the pub cheer.
Ben: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ben jumps of the table and through the door, in to the street. Mickey laughs and sits down on the bar stool vacated by Ben as the barmaid walks towards him.
Mickey: Ten more of those please darling.
The morning after.
The hotel room of Ben Jordan is seen in a bit of a mess. Clothes all over floor, bottles and cans fill tables and window ledges. The camera moves around to show Ben upside down in an armchair, just wearing those Wile E Coyote boxers. Ben has his legs upside down, hanging over the top and his back of the cushioned part. A groan is heard coming from Ben's direction, before a thump is heard as he falls off the chair, landing in a heap on the floor.
Ben: Bollocks!
Ben opens his eyes, blinking to adjust to the light. He reaches up, pulling himself on to the chair and sitting on it properly.
Ben: Well New Years Eve was a little wild, eh? No one can say I didn't ride in to the new year in style, but let's snap back to reality a little now, all the festivities are done and out the way. I gotta think forward, I gotta think to one of the biggest matches in my time in ACW. I'm not saying the others wasn't big but this one if pretty decent.
Ben closes his eyes for a second.
Ben: Trying to cut a promo and being on the sauce last night is a bad mix but still. Maybe I'm giving my next opponent more than a little respect here, because that bastard actually pushed Kai Kennedy to the limit. He actually gave him a decent match, fair play to ya for that, but you didn't exactly beat him, did ya? So here's how the smart guys reward ya. They sit there bopping their heads and say "That guy couldn't beat that champion, so we'll let him fight the other champion." Let's be honest, how do they think that one's gonna end? Truth is, I do have the second string belt around here, but I'm also the better champion around here. The bosses here think it's clever to bring in Blade Alexander, get him on Kennedy's case, let him have a go because he came from a more established place, all the rest of that junk, whine about being buried when he's not good enough there, but could be here. How's it feel to be bumped down to the second title, while someone comes in and steals your main event spot Crippler? How's it feel to be bumped down to face me, right after you lose to the top guy? That's gotta be a kick in the bollocks son.
Ben points down to his... well, you get the idea.
Ben: You're getting in the ring with a better man this time Crippler, you can't possibly think you're gonna win this one. You can't possibly think that this is your time to win a title geezer, surely? No bloody chance. It might have escaped your attention here, but Kennedy and I have been champions since the belts were put out there, there's a reason all these months down the line, we're still bloody champions! Don't know if you noticed, but what he does, I do. I look better doing it but still. Example mate, example, he beat Mike Sloan, month later, I beat Mike Sloan, he beat you, month later, I beat you. You see the trend in this one, you're not Stevie Wonder Crippler, you must see what's happening here, right? I'm basically the top champion without the belt, this is looking pretty crappy for ya now, right?
Ben puts both his thumbs up.
Ben: Don't get me wrong, I know you're a bit of a trier, and you will keep coming back, time after time. I knock you on your Canadian arse, you get right back up. I see how it goes, I may not be that fella with the funny face and the high IQ, but I know how this goes. It's actually more fun like that geez, I mean check this out. You remember as a kid, everyone has those blow up clown punching bag things? You hit it, it falls on it's jacksy, it bounces back up, you hit it again, remember those? Well you me ol' China, you're gonna be that clown punching bag. I knock you on your arse, you get back up. Those things were fun, so much better than a cup and a ball on a string. Thing is, you hit that clown enough, you knock the wind right out of it, it deflates, it can't get back up son, it's gone, done, out cold. It's how it's gonna happen. Gonna get the wind knocked right out of ya.
Ben reaches down the side of the chair, picking up the ACW Maritime Junior Heavyweight Title and putting it across his lap.
Ben: All about this, innit? Done well holding on to this thing for a while, star is starting to rise in ACW, might have to start making it rise in the NWA too now. I mean I've had this title a long time Crippler and trust me when I say, I won't be losing it, the only way it will leave me, is when I decide to go on to bigger and better things, NWA gold for example, or maybe if I decide to leave this title here, head around the alliance and take other peoples titles, I mean anything is possible, or maybe when ACW decide to throw some tag belts out there and me and Mickey will go and pick those up, but here's how it's gonna be right now, this belt, stays with me, Canadian Crippler, sorry geez, you'll just gonna be remembered as the fella who blew his shot against two champions. Honestly mate, you won't be remembered for much else.
Ben shrugs his shoulders at the camera.
Ben: But good luck to you geezer, believe me when I say you're gonna need it. As far as I'm concerned, this title still gets to travel the world with me, and will never, be with you. Sorry Crippler, now is not your time and never will be.
A knock on the door takes Ben's attention. Ben stands up quickly and looks down the camera once more.
Ben: Unlucky to me you Crippler, my old son.
Ben walks over to the door, pulling down the handle and opening up the door to see Mickey Carroll standing next to two police officers.
Police officer: Does this belong to you?
Ben smiles as the camera fades out for the last time
