[Christian Underwood]

 Ah the exciting world of the male fashion revue! Can you feel the magic? Can you feel the excitement? What could be more exhilirating than an event where the world's most beautiful men, hunks from around the globe, all gather together for an event of showing off their perfectly sculpted physiques in everything ranging from formal wear to, oh dear lord, the sexiest of undergarments. Goodness, is it getting warm in here?

Anyhoo, in the audience we find some familiar faces in not only the world of beauty, but that of superheroism in the world of fashion and sex appeal; Christian Underwood, Selena Lesseos-Locke, the powerpuff furball Genie, the newest member of Stylish Substance-Devin Banton, and what do we have here? Far more noticeable is the ultra-studly figure sitting beside Selena, a man whom we haven't seen in three adventures now, Anubis Quentin Locke, the "lost" member of Stylish Substance. Still looking as fashionable perfect as laways, Quentin appears to be just a tad under the weather as his otherwise perfect little nose has just a tinge of red to it as he brings a silk handkerchief up to it and...

Quentin: choo!.....choo!.....choo!.....

Selena: Hasn't he got the most adorable little sneeze?

Christian: And it's totally amazing how he doesn't soil his hanky either.

Quentin, continuing to hold his hanky over his sore (but still cute as a button) li'l nose, looks over at Selena in a classic pout and says in a stuffed up voice,

Quentin: Dou know, I sdill don know why I waddn't allowed do model donight. Dis show needs my experiends.

Selena: I know Quenty-poo, I know, but remember what happened in Rome when you first caught this cold? You sneezed onstage and jerked your hips and blew the entire first three rows clear to the back.

Quentin: Deah, I sdill feel bad aboud dat. Dey missd my spin and bang bang combo.

Selena: It's okay. As soon as you're feeling better you'll be up there onstage again, wowing the masses.

Quentin: I hobe so.

Yes, this year's revue is not as anticipated or exciting as the norm because the "living mathematical equation for studliness" is not leading the pack as per usual. Poor Quentin has a nasty case of the sniffles.

However, this year, other eyes besides those of admirers and fashion experts are upon this world of fashion. Evil eyes. Yes, even in a world full of beautiful people, evil will not take a holiday, and it is right here with us, watching these fashion-like festivities.

With Quentin on the sidelines, the directors went into a frenzy to find a male model beautiful enough to lead the men on in Quentin's studly place. Knowing that his proverbial shoes were too big to fill, no male model were willing. None that is until Quentin's good friend, Alex Lundquist, came into the picture. The handsome young man knew that even though he didn't measure up to the standards set by his good friend, the show still had to go on and he had to do what was right in the name of fashion.

Alex struts out onto the runway, sporting a very snazzy Versache formal suit and tie and the flashes of countless cameras go off as our heroes watch on with admiration.

Selena: Meh. He's not doing TOO bad I suppose, considering who he's subbing for. It's a nice suit.

Devin: Nice hair.

Christian: Nice ass too.

All heads turn to stare at the effeminate hero who shrugs and feigns a look of complete innocense.

Christian: What? he's got a cute butt.

Quentin: Ad cude ad mine?

Christian: Oh heaven forbid! RVD's himself couldn't compare!

Selena: Oh my! And that's saying something!

The runway is abuzz with the life of cameras flashing as Alex Lundquist gives it his all, reaching the end of the runway and doing a full spin on the back of his heel before starting for the head of the stage again.

Christian: He should have arched his back more when he did the spin. You know, show off the pecs.

Devin: Well, the photographers are enjoying the show, especially those two.

All eyes turn to peer in the direction that the young pre-teen gestures. Yes, two young, female photographers, a blonde and a brunette, clamor right at the stage for the attentions of Mister Lundquist. Noting their heightened interest, he is only too willing to oblige them and starts over in their direction.

Christian: Say, don't those two look familiar?

Alex reaches the edge of the stage where the two female photographers are, jockeying for position to capture him as best they can.

Selena: As a matter of fact, they do look...oh no.

Christian: It can't be!

A flash from the women's cameras go off, and suddenly Alex drops like a rock and the lights in the building cease, leaving the entire place in a vast well of inky darkness! Cries of shock, surprise and even fear ring out from the masses on hand when just as fast as the lights went off, they suddenly come back on...only three individuals appear to be missing!

Selena: Oh no! Where'd those two go!?

Quentin: Forged dem! Where'ds Alex!?

"Ah yes, it's all going according to plan."

The alluring voice speaks out with a distinct British accent as the chaos from the fashion revue is being watched closely via a full screen television large enough to fill an entire wall. The mist of hot steam from a jacuzzi fills the cool air, and slender female hands hurriedly wipe the resulting steamed screen of the television clean so that it can be seen more clearly.

Who does this strong voice and the madster of this elaborate abode belong to? The gentle splashing of hot water brings into view a handsome young man resting in the steamy water. No...he's more than handsome. More than sexy or gorgeous. There's something about this man's looks, something that mere words cannot describe. His appearance is almost...hypnotic. Short cropped dark hair...a golden brown tan that glistens with perspiration, the only thing that cannot be seen are his eyes, which remain hidden behind a pair of dark shades.

"I've seen enough."

The television screen goes blank and the water sloshing around gives way that the man is now standing up. His chiseled pecs heaving, taking in oxygen from the cold air wafting in thru the patio door of his mansion, mixing with the hot atmosphere inside. A trickle of perspiration slides it's way down his "six-pack" and towards his...

Get your mind out of the gutter people! He's naked, okay? Happy now? Huh?

Stepping out of the jacuzzi, the nude male form strolls past two female :"assistants," both lovely young "goddesses" clad in two-piece attire. One holds out a towel for him and the other a robe but he waves them off.

"No need, why hide perfection at it's peak?"

Standing in front of an iron gate that leads outside, he pushes the gates open and steps outside into a lush, full garden where it's strangely warm in this normally cold, winter month.

"Everything has almost been completed. The capture of the young Mister Lundquist has nearly completed my lifelong passion's work."

Turning around the corner of a hedge, he comes upon Alex Lundquist whom is standing up upon a stone slab, his wrists chained and firmly secured to the marble slabs to each side of him. A look of fear is on his face as the male supermodel looks every which way, struggling on his bonds in an attempt to find a means of escape. The mysterious villian chuckles with amusement at his prisoner's feeble attempts and steps in front of him.

"Don't worry Mister Lundquist, you've very nearly completed my puzzle."

With that, the man lifts his shades, and peers at Alex who finds himself staring right back into his unseen eyes which now seem to cast an unearthly glow. Transfixed, Alex's struggles cease. His body tenses to such a rigidness it's as if he had become paralyzed, his skin taking on a porcelin shine. Chuckling, the villian places his shades back on and turns away.

"One more down...."

He says, turning around and looking at the surrounding "statues" of the world's top fashion models, both male and female, in similiar positions as poor Alex Lundquist. In the center, five pefastals remain untaken, with the names...Pink Flamingo, Tasty Freeze, Battle Kitten, Li'l Devil, and...the Vogue, chiseled in each seperate base!

"And five more to go...to perfect my garden!"

...

They are the heroes everyone looks up to...

Protectors of the innocent...

Defenders of looking good...

And all-around hot bodies of heroism...

THEY ARE.....

STYLISH SUBSTANCE


(insert corny superhero theme music...)

Christian Underwood...aka the Pink Flamingo!

Selena Lesseos-Locke...aka Tasty Freeze!

Genie the kitten...Battle Kitten!

plus the newest member of Stylish Substance...

Devin Banton...aka Li'l Devil!

and

a special guest appearance by none other than...well you'll just have to read to find out so "nyah!"

[Christian Underwood]

 FASHION SENSE HEADQUARTERS...

Mere hours after the abduction of Alex Lundquist, the headquarters of the fashion conscious superheroes known as Stylish Substance is abuzz with fret as our heroes are found standing in the office of their team leader, Miss L. As the "hardcore" redhead paces back and forth, going over the night's events, Tasty Freeze and the Pink Flamingo listen intently while Li'l Devil busies herself, stroking the soft underbelly of Battle Kitten who is laying on her lap.

Miss L: How is Quentin taking this?

Flamingo: Not well. Alex is his best friend in the modeling industry, but he's sick and he's Professor jack now, not the Vogue. We sent him home to rest and said that we would take care of everything.

Tasty: Okay, so last night wasn't the first time a supermodel was kidnapped?

Taking a seat at her desk, Miss L looks up at her squad.

Miss L: No, we've received word from around the world that the top men and women of the fashion runways have been vanishing in front of the audiences eyes. Everyone from Tyra Banks to Antonio Sabato Jr.

Tasty: Antonio Sabato Jr.? Why would anyone take him? He's just an actor-if you want to call him that.

Miss L: Ah, but he was at one point a very successful male model. It was actually his ads for modeling underwear that broke him into the worlds of television and movies.

The Pink Flamingo gets a look of ghastly horror on his face.

Pink Flamingo: Oh no! Will we never again see his gorgeous visage in another grossly cheap "B" movie again? Oh the horror!

Miss L: All that will depend on the rescue of the models, if it can be done.

Flamingo: Well to do that, first we have to find out who's behind the abductions and where they're being held.

Tasty: Well we already know two people involved. I...I, just can't speak their names!

The horror...the HORROR! They thought for sure that those two had been put away for good after their last encounter with Baby Face, but the two twin terrors of troublemaking, Cheyenne and Susanne, the Daughters of Darkness, were now apparently free again to wreak their own unique brand of havoc. It was a thought chilling enough to turn the warmest of blood to ice.

Miss L: But that isn't our main concern. AS dangerous as Cheyenne and Susanne are, there's a far greater threat at hand here. We need to find out who they're helping.

Tasty: well what makes you think that they aren't pulling this off on their own?

Lil Devil: Because they're stupid.

Miss L, Tasty and Flamingo all glance to the office's black, lounge sofa where Lil Devil was preoccupied, tickling Battle Kitten beneath her fuzzy chin and reading the latest issue of "Popular Mechanics." She glances up to look back at them and she shrugs her indifference.

Lil Devil: Well it's true!

Miss L: Indeed, but that isn't the sole reason. The time and geography of each kidnapping has told us that the person was hunting these particular models. It's not sport, it's strategy.

Tasty: So then all we need to do is find the one responsible and take him out. No big deal.

Miss L: Unfortunately, it is a very big deal. You see, this isn't your ordinary villian that you're up against. In the hierarchy of evil, there are many more baddies more powerful than the average bad guy. Ferocious...impossible to defeat.

Flamingo: Who could be so powerful that even the four of us couldn't take them down?

Miss L wrings her hands, fighting to find a way to discuss the past that would just as soon be forgotten.

Miss L: Listen, a few years ago, before Stylish Substance was firmly established, before you two were even made members, we inducted the "originals," the first two members of Stylish Substance. They were the two sexiest, most powerful heroes that we could possibly find. They were both discovered on the runways of the fashion industry.

Tasty: The Vogue...

Miss L nods.

Miss L: And the second was known as Hot Stuff. Both men's physical beauty was unparalleled in the annals of mankind. Hot Stuff's face and body were so tantalizing that anyone who looked upon him was instantly petrified, but it was his eyes that were the key. If you were to make eye contact with him, you would literally lose yourself in them, and the petrification would quite literally turn an enemy into a living statue.

Tasty: ... wow.

Flamingo: So, what happened to him?

Miss L: He fell from grace, that's what. Before you and Tasty were brought aboard, the Vogue won a fashion award that Hot Stuff himself coveted. His ego refused to acknowledge that any person could match or even overshadow his own sex appeal, even if that someone was the Vogue.

Tasty opens her mouth, completely aghast![/i]

Tasty: Oh well now that is just wrong!

Miss L: Hot Stuff's jealousy got the better of him and he attempted to sabotage the Vogue and get him dismissed from Stylish Substance. When that failed, he attacked him and a hellacious slap fight broke out between the two.

Flamingo: Er...slap fight?

Devil: Well what else would you expect from two male fashion models?

Flamingo: Touche'.

Miss L: Yes, only Hot Stuff refused to fight fair, and did to the Vogue the worst possible thing that can be done to any male model.

Tasty: No...NO!

Miss L: Yes! He kicked him in the seat of his pants and bruised his heiney!

Tasty: Ohhhh...!

And in dramatic swooning fashion, Tasty begins to faint, the thought of the Vogue's tushy bruised simply too much for her to bear. Flamingo quickly ducks behind her and holds his arms around her body in order to catch her.

Flamingo: It's okay! It's safe! Fall into my arms!

And Tasty faints dead away, falls, slides thru Flamingo's arms and crashes to the floor anyway. Flamingo looks up at the camera.

Flamingo: Okay now who didn't see THAT coming?

Flamingo calmly steps over Tasty's unconscious body and stands in front of Miss L's desk.

Flamingo: What I want to know is why now after all this time?

Miss L: Quite simple. The Vogue was the competition that ended Hot Stuff's quest to be the most beautiful human being on this planet. Now that the Vogue has become, well, Professor Jack the Science Whack, it's safe for Hot Stuff to strike and move on with his quest.

Miss L. stands up from her comfy swivel chair and walks around her desk to hand Flamingo an evvelope.

Miss L: These are the coordinates to Hot Stuff's private resort. The only thing that you need to worry about is freeing the models. Get in and back out as fast as possible. Remember...you can not defeat Hot Stuff, he's too powerful. Only the Vogue was able to do so and he's out of the picture, so be careful.

[center:32ab257689]***************[/center:32ab257689]

G-Spot... Mandusa's private island paradise. (Oh come on! Can YOU think of a better name? well CAN you!?)

The Pink Flamingo gently descends from the skies with Battle Kitten safely tucked into the crook of his arm while Tasty and Devil hop off of one of Tasty's patented ice slides and they all land safely on the beach as the waves crash along the shore line. The four look about at their surroundings until Flamingo draws their attention.

Flamingo: Okay, Miss L said that Hot Stuff lives in complete seclusion, content with his own image for company, with the possible exception of some female admirers and attendants. His mansion takes up a third of this island so I say we split up and hit it from all ends.

Lil Devil: Okay! I'll take the little kitty!

Devil heaves her backpack over her shoulders and reaches forward to take Battle Kitten from Flamingo's hands.

Flamingo: Okay, you two go down the center of the island, and Tasty and i will hit from the lefta nd right and we'll all meet at the mansion. If you find the models, give the signal and get them out of there!

Lil Devil nods and presses a tiny button on her belt and a round of fireworks go off on her roller baldes, propelling her on her way. Flamingo takes once again to the air as Tasty inhales deeply and blows out her patented icy breath, creating another slide and she too is along her way...as eyes watch them. Beautiful eyes, mesmerizing eyes, wicked eyes...

Narrator: Okay! They're eyes! We get the picture!

The heavily accented male voice sneers as he watches on multiple monitors, the heroes fast approaching.

"Like sand thru the hour glass..."

Narrator: Those were the Days of our Lives.

"You know it's really hard to do this villian role justice when the damn story narrator keeps friggin' interrupting me!

Narrator: Oh well just pardon me!

Wrapping his robe closed, the hunka-hunka-hottie turns around, just fitting his shades back over his mesmerizing eyes and begins his trek back into his abode from the outer balcony overlooking the island's flush landscape.

"Hot Stuff"/Mandusa: I feel the urge to go out and "play."

[Christian Underwood]

 Time is quickly running out in the minds of our heroes as they realize should the models remain paralyzed by sunset, then they will forever remain frozen in their current state.

Why? Why the hell are you asking me? I just read this stuff as it's being handed to me and quite frankly, I need the money! Besides, it always works that way in TV and movies so just deal with it and read on as the plot thickens!

High above this island paradise we find the Pink Flamingo sailing on the winds, scouring the lush valley beneath him. Despite the villianous purposes of Hot Stuff, it had to be admitted that he had great taste when it came to his home and property...and cliothes if he ever wore any. But Pink Flamingo's mind was elsewhere as he knew that there would be dire consequences should the models not be rescued and returned to the fashion world. After all, a world without beauty and fashion is an Apocalypse waiting to happen.

There...

Hot Stuff's mansion was coming into view. Christ, it looked more like a damn castle than a simple mansion, but someone with the ego complex of Hot Stuff wouldn't settle for having anything other than the biggest and the best...and he'd want a great home too. Flamingo shook his head in wonder as he came upon this elaborate abode of the super villian, looking on in amazement at what had to be dozens upon dozens of acres of not-so-humble magnificence! The upper tower roof alone could swallow the Astrodome with room left over for seconds!

Where on Earth would he locate the missing models in such a place as this? Well, as Scotty always says in the bedroom, "Best to start at the top and work your way down." The rooftop it is. Flamingo sails downward and lands on the porcelin rooftop and pauses a moment to survey the scene and contemplate his next move. The models come first, then the plan was to evacuate the remianing members of his team, but his thoughts are quickly cut short with...

"Halt!"

Pink Flamingo spins around and finds himself staring at a dozen of the scantily clad amazonian bodyguards that serve Hot Stuff! One that was obviously taller than the others, clad in similiar black, leather attire, steps forward with a cat-o-nine tails in hand and points it directly at Flamingo who seems quite caught off guard.

"You're trespassing in the domain of Mandusa! We have been ordered to take you into custody!"

Flamingo: Ew.

With a piercing battle cry, the head amazon points towards the intruder and her warriors charge at Flamingo! He takes a step back and realizes he is right at the very edge of the rooftop which towers high over the ground below. He's trapped...with amazons rushing right at him...even worse, FEMALE amazons...no hope, none at all unless...

Narrator: Hey dipstick, why don't you just fly out of the way?

Flamingo: Oh yeah...

And shooting upward, Flamingo sails high into the air the very moment the amazons reach him and dodges their impending attack! However much like in any classic comedic moment, they skid to a halt but the amazons in back collide with those in front of them and like a row of dominoes, they all go tumbling forward and over the side and they all fall the length to the Olympic sized swimming pool below with a loud SPLASH!

Flamingo slowly comes down to the rooftop and peers over the edge, glancing at the water logged bodyguards swimming their way out of the pool. He smiles in self satisfaction.

Flamingo: That was easy.

"Too easy."

A voice says from behind and Flamingo spins around to find himself face to face with...him!

Flamingo: You! You...you...

Mandusa: hat? Hot? Sexy? Drop dead gorgeous hunk of man meat? Or all of the above?

Flamingo: Well all of the above of course...but that isn't the point! I'm here to set those models you kidnapped free.

Mandusa and Flamingo slowly begin to circle one another amidst the rooftop, watching the other carefully, each knowing of the dangerous qualities of the other. Mandusa smiles.

Mandusa: Ah, you are, are you? And just what if I'm not yet ready to give my trophies up?

Flamingo: You don't have a choice. I know all about your powers and what they can do, and I'm not about to make eye contact with you...

Mandusa: Not that I ever expected you to.

Suddenly Mandusa opens his robe completely and Flamingo looks ... "down" and is in slack jawed awe at what he sees and his senses become mesmerized. His body stiffens, and he is lost, pertrified by the sheer inhuman qualities of Mandusa's..."endowments?" Mandusa looks at his and sneers, closing his robe.

"That was easier than I thought it'd be!"

Oh dear, Flamingo lost to the clutches of Mandusa! One hero down, three left to save the day!

The two newest members of Stylish Substance, lil Devil and her buddy Battle Kitten are found making their way through the woods that surround the perimiter of the island, heading for the mansion to rescue the models and meet up with their co-horts in superhero doings.

They emerge from the woods and across the horizon, they see it. The mansion. Lil Devil looks down at Battle Kitten.

Lil Devil: There we go my little kitty! We're almost there!

A throaty growl emits from the pint sized beast as a reply and Lil Devil frowns.

Lil Devil: What's the matter kitty? Did you forget your Fancy Feast at home?

But Battle Kitten's heightened senses are true and Lil Devil's head turns to see what alarms her feline pal so, as a number of amazon bodyguards are seen coming up from over the hill in front of them...big, smelly, and probably stocky enough to be a football team-there was certainly enough in number! The fur on Battle Kitten's neck and back bristles to a point as she starts to growl and Lil Devil quickly grabs a cylindular tube from her belt and presses a button. Out pops a loaded backscratcher!

One amazon steps forward, a cocky grin on her face and she places her hands upon her hips in a showing of superiority and confidence.

"Don't be stupid little one! A child and a kitten stand no chance against the army of Mandusa!"

Lil Devil: oh we'll just see about that, won't we kitty?"

"mew"

Lil Devil: That's right! You tell `em!

Lil Devil hops up onto Battle kitten's back, her loaded backsratcher in hand, as the army of amazons line up like a row of football players...Battle kitten snarls and scratches her paws in the ground...the amaons grunt-then CHARGE!

Cue the High School Fight Song!

And they collide in an eatch shaking impact! Lil Devil swings her loaded back scratcher at one amazon and BOOM! The bodyguard goes flying! Another swing and there goes another! Battle kitten tears right down the center, mowing thru the row of female warriors and knocking them right up into the sky and down to where Lil Devil swings and clobbers them like she was at batting practice, her back scratcher's loaded impact making short work of each one!

Very soon the happy pair look at the mass of amazonian bodies lying around them and Lil Devil scratches BK under her chin and coos.

Lil Devil: We make a good team, don't we kitty?

"Indeed you do."

Devil and BK look up to see the strange man standing just at the top of the hill. She didn't recognize him, but Lil Devil knew he was, well he was just bad! She reaches into her backpack and arms herself with her trusty atomic Bubble Gum Loaded Salad Shooter.

Lil Devil: If it's a fight you want you big booger head...

Mandusa breaks out into a hearty laughter, finding these two mini heroes amusing at best.

Mandusa: Oh I wouldn't waste my talents on the likes of you two! Is this the best that Stylish Substance can send against me? Pity.

Battle Kitten hisses at the robed studly figure.

Mandusa: Now, now, that isn't at all nice. Especially when I have someone you might be a bit familiar with, looking for some company?

Mandusa holds up a strange, golden staff with a circular end and in that end, a light appears and shows the paralyzed form of the Pink Flamingo. Lil Devil gasps in horror as Battle Kitten hisses in protective defense of her "mommy!"

Mandusa: Recognize them? You should, as you'll be at their side soon enough.

Battle Kitten meows in rage and charges Mandusa!

Lil Devil: Kitty! No!

But the fear for her "mommy's" safety sends BK charging on ahead when her tiny paw steps down onto a trigger and suddenly the ground opens up beneath her and the feline heroine plunges down into a deep pit!

Lil Devil: Kitty!

Lil Devil cries out and runs to the edge of the pit and peers down to see Battle Kitten on her hind legs, meowing and scratching at the walls surrounding her, trying in vain tio climb her way out! Mandusa's voice catches Lil Devil's attention and she jumps back up to her feet.

Mandusa: The pit's walls are made of studanium. Even her claws can't scratch it. Your little friend is trapped, until I decide the best time to add her to my "garden." You on the other hand...

Lil Devil whips out her Bubble Gum Shooter and points it directly at him!

Lil Devil: You set my little kitty free or I'll...

But before she can react, a net drops down from the sky and lands right on top of Lil Devil! The child hero screams in surprise and falls to the ground, dropping her weapon, which Mandusa steps on, shattering it! Lil Devil struggles valiantly, but the more she fights, the more entangled in the net she becomes! The evil Mandusa steps up to her and she looks up at him, breathing deeply in anger, fear and concern for Battle Kitten. Teasingly, he touches his shades, then smiles at the trapped pre-teen.

Mandusa: Rest easy, as I said, I won't waste my talents on a child like yourself...just yet, but they will.

Lil Devil looks at the two figures walking up and cries out in alarm at the appearance of the Daughters of Darkness! Mandusa chuckles and walks away, back towards his spacious palace.

Mandusa: Three down...

And one more to go? We see the frosty taste treat, Tasty Freeze, inside the interior hallway of the mansion. Tastefully decorated in British aristocratic style, gold, bronze and cedar oak, our heroine steps carefully past several frozen figures of what used to be Mandusa's amazon bodyguards, quickly subdued by Tasty's frosty power. Despite her having easily defeated the first wave of attacks by Mandusa's battallion, Tasty can't help but feel uneasy.

Where were her teammates? Pink Flamingo? Lil Devil and Battle Kitten? They should have been here by now, and if she could make it past Mandusa's defenses, she knew they would be able to as well. Something wasn't right.

Tasty comes up to a large, iron gate at the far corner of the main foyer, but finds a large, bolted lock preventing her from going within. Not allowing this minor obstacle from detracting her from her mission, Tasty touches the padlock and instaneously it freezes over and breaks off, falling to the hard stone floor. Pushing the gate open, Tasty steps inside and immediately gasps in horror...

Tasty: Oh my...

The models...all of the kidnapped models were standing before her upon marble slabs, paralyzed into a frozen state of eternal beauty. Tyra Banks...Antonio Sabato Junior...Marcus Schenkenberg...Elle MacPherson...and so many, many others. Tasty stares in shock and horror at whatever evil power did this to the world's most beautiful people, as she weaves her way in between each "statue", opting to examine the victims and determine the extent of the damages done. Staring up at a pertrified Tyson Beckford, Tasty turns around and cries out, covering her mouth with her hands!

Tasty: No! Noooo!!

There before her were the petrified figures of her Stylish Substance teammates, Pink Flamingo, Lil Devil and Battle Kitten, all subdued by the power of the dreaded Mandusa! Tasty starts to tremble with fear and anger when she hears a voice from behind her...

"Awwww, don't you like my little garden?"

Spinning around, Tasty comes face to face with the villian himself, as he slowly approaches her, his hands tucked inside of his wine colored robe.

Tasty: You...how could you!? These are human beings...beautiful ones at that!

Mandusa shrugs, glancing about his "garden" and smiling.

Mandusa: Perhaps, though not quite as beautiful as yours truly. It's why I decided to take this little avenue in my work. Create a garden of the world's most beautiful people, to remind the world of the sex appeal that I empower.

Tasty: But to deny the world beauty and sex appeal...

Mandusa: Such is the price the world must pay for betraying me and declaring...the Vogue, as being sexier than I!

Tasty: The truth hurts, doesn't it?

Mandusa chuckles.

Mandusa: Truth is in the eye of the beholder. Why sometimes I find myself so appealing I can barely keep from touching myself...er, you know what I mean.

Tasty: I'm afraid I do.

Mandusa glares at her thru his dark shades but Tasty quickly uses her power to form a battle staff made of solid ice and she wirlds it in both hands in a defensive stance!

Tasty: How did you manage this? Even with Cheyenne and Susanne's help you still wouldn't be able to tackle the power of Stylish Substance alone!

Mandusa laughs and holds out his hand and in it appears the same golden staff as before. Tasty's eyes widen.

Tasty: The Staff of Eros. But it, it's just a myth, a fairy tale!

Mandusa: Ahhh, it WAS just a myth, until the night of my defeat I prayed to the Lord Eros to bestow upon me his gifts so that I could exact my revenge against those who insulted me so greatly. He came to me. He saved me, and he gave me...this. Gifted only for the sexiest of hands, it was only natural I should become the Staff's master.

Mandusa takes a step towards her but Tasty raises her own ice staff and Mandusa laughs at her in amusement.

Mandusa: You know, I had opted to let you join your friends in my little menagerie, but seeing as how you and the Vogue are joined, I figured his immunity to me passed on to you. So no, I figured out something even better. Since he took my pride and dignity, I feel it only fair to take something just as precious to him.

Tasty: The sex appeal of Stylish Substance will never fall to someone like you!

Mandusa: Now that is somethign for us to decide together, now isn't it?

Mandusa swiftly aims his staff at Tasty and a golden light shoots out from it and just before it reacehs her, she blows into the palm of her hand, encrusting the beam with her own power and freezing it into an icy spray! She then leaps high up and over the villian, landing with cat-like precision on her feet behind him! Mandusa turns around quickly but a high kick from Tasty's stilleto'd heels knocks him right back against a wall! Bracing herself for the impending battle, Tasty watches as Mandusa slowly rises to his feet. He touches his bottom lip and looks in disgust at the crimson on his fingertips. Looking up, his eyes are ablaze with fury.

Mandusa: For that, your defeat will be a slow and costly one!

Tasty Freeze braces herself and Mandusa aims the Staff of Eros at her and a golden beam erupts forth in her direction but she quickly forms an ice slide beneath her feet and dodges the blast, but the power strikes her slide and she falls downward! Mandusa rushes her but Tasty somersaults in mid-air and lands perfectly on her feet, swinging her ice scepter at the dastardly villian who back handsprings out of the way!

(good action, doncha think?)

Mandusa quickly aims again and fires but Tasty deflects the blast with her ice staff! Mandusa then leaps and swings his Staff but Tasty raises her own and they clash in a test-of-strength between the two, but a kick behind the heel from Tasty sends Mandusa down to his back! Tasty swings her staff downward at mandusa who quickly rolls out of the way and kicks back up to his feet! He aims his Staff of Eros again and this time multiple blasts emit forth and Tasty starts handspringing out of the way, dodging each one, when suddenly a wayward beam zaps her in the back, knocking her clear across the "garden" at the feet of what was to be her own pedestal. Chuckling, the victorious Mandusa creeps up to her struggling body from behind as a golden snare wraps itself around her arms, trapping her.

A wave of the Staff rolls her over to her back and she struggles to free herself from her bonds but it is of no use as the power of the Eros Staff was too great. Mandusa lowers himself to one knee and gently caresses Tasty's cheek, smiling seductively.

Mandusa: Four down, and one to go...but first, a little victory celebration.

Tasty winces as Mandusa leans in close for the kiss when suddenly...

CRASH!!!!

[Christian Underwood]

 The sky light above shatters and a figure drops down from above! A perfectly chiseled figure clad in silver spandex! It's a dove! It's an SR71 Blackbird! It's...it's...

The Vogue: NOBODY touches my "pumpkin!"

Mandusa rises to his feet to meet his arch nemesis ina fighting stance.

Mandusa: It took you long enough!

The Vogue: Come on!

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The Vogue swings but Mandusa ducks and a legsweep takes the Vogue to his back!

Mandusa mounts the Vogue's chest to attack but a timely "Stooge Poke" to the eyes stuns the former "Hot Stuff" and the Vogue throws him off!

Mandusa kicks up as the Vogue jumps to his feet and they meet again in a face off, fists raised!

Mandusa: I thought only candy asses still wore spandex!

The Vogue: And I thought only pantywaists still used the term "candyass."

The Vogue lands an uppercut to Mandusa's chiseled jaw! Then a fist to the stomach! The Vogue grabs him in a headlock and a pop to the kisser sends Mandusa flying back face-first into a marble pillar!

Mandusa turns around and faces his arch enemy. He touches his bottom lip and looks at his finger tips and glares at the light touch of crimson. The Vogue awaits with fists raised and Mandusa charges and they grab each other by the throats, choking the life out of each other!

Mandusa clenches his fists together and breaks the Vogue's grip by swinging his axehandled fists into his forearms!

The Vogue throws a right but Mandusa blocks it! A left is then blocked! Then another right when Mandusa lands his own fist to the Vogue's washboard stomach, doubling him over! A right cross by Mandusa staggers the studly hero!

Tasty: Oh not the face! Not the face!

A high kick from Mandusa to the chops sends the Vogue flying back thru the air and he crashes into the wall of the "garden" and goes right thru it! The Vogue sits up, holding his head as Mandusa stands in front of him and laughs.

Mandusa: Compliments of eating right, working out and having a hell of a lot of great sex!

Mandusa charges but the Vogue swings his foot up and catches Mandusa in the stomach, doubling him over, and then in the jaw, knocking him back!

The Vogue jumps up and grabs Mandusa by the head and slams his face into a pillar! The Vogue turns him around and buries a knee into Mandusa's "six-pack" abs, doubling him over, then scoops him up and slams him down onto the seat of a wicker sofa!

Narrator: Was that supposed to hurt?

Hell if we know but the action continues!...

The Vogue is right there and lands a fist down into Mandusa's stomach but a foot swung up into his jaw from Mandusa sends the Vogue staggering back!

Mandusa gets up, breathing hard, and the Vogue beckons him to "bring it on." Mandusa sneers in contempt and jumps forward, delivering a high kick to the sternum, followed up by a back handed fist to the Vogue's perfect jaw!

Tasty: Oh the face! The face!

Mandusa throws a fist but the Vogue ducks it and hits a shot to the stomach!

The Vogue grabs Mandusa in a side headlock and slams his face into another marble pillar, chipping it!

WWE's Rico: Oh please! Not the face!

Narrator: Who invited him!?

Mandusa staggers back, holding his forehead, and the Vogue jumps high into the air and delivers a perfect 360 kick right to Mandusa's chest that sends the evil stud flying back THRU a wooden swinging door and he lands in an indoor Olympic sized swimming pool with a loud SPLASH!!!

The Vogue comes running thru the door and stands at the pool's edge,

The Vogue: Compliments of Christian making me and Selena watch those Van Damme movies every night for the last three years!

And the Vogue jumps and tackles Mandusa, submerging both beneath the water!

They spring up with water flying everywhere and Mandusa lands a straight fist forward into the Vogue's adorable little nose!

Tasty: NOO!

Mandusa grabs him in a headlock and holds the Vogue's head under the water, attempting to drown him!

The evil hottie then grabs a sputtering and choking Vogue up from beneath the water and throws him onto the edge of the pool and jumps up after him!

The Vogue is up but a back fist from Mandusa spins him around and a solid boot to the keister sends the "stud muffin" sliding across the poolside bench!

Tasty: Not the tushy! Not the tushy!

Narrator: Anyone got a gag on them?

Mandusa charges but the Vogue kicks up and meets him! They are trading fists to each other's faces, a slur with each hard blow delivered!

Mandusa: Tramp!

The Vogue: Tootsie!

Mandusa: Scene stealer!

They stop trading blows, much to Tasty's relief, when suddenly they lunge and grab handfuls of each other's hair!

MEEEEEEEEOWW!!!

Narrator: Oh you gotta be kidding me...

The tug-of-war intensifies until finally reaching it's climax with Mandusa driving his knee up into the Vogue's stomach, then tugging as hard as he can and the Vogue yelps as Mandusa holds up a trophy...a small lock of hair!

Tasty: Oh not my Quenty's hair!

Mandusa laughs and waves the few strands at his nemesis as the Vogue frantically checks for a bald spot!

Mandusa: Ha ha ha! I guess I do get a prize!

Finding no bald spot, the Vogue glares at Mandusa and suddenly swings, a left uppercut to the face! Then a right! A left! A right! A left! Mandusa is knocked hard back against a small lounge table, stunned from the furious onslaught!

The Vogue approaches and Mandusa kicks both feet up into his chest, knocking him back a few steps!

The Vogue dusts himself off and the enemies stare at each other in hateful contempt!

Mandusa: You know, my power never affected you before but now with Eros behind me, you're about to see my REAL power!

Mandusa stomps forward and his eyes begint o take on their otherworldly glow and the Vogue quickly and (shockingly enough) wisely grabs a large mirror on the table and holds it up in front of him, tricking Mandusa into looking at his own reflection!

Mandusa: NOOOoooo...!

And the power that he used against so many others works to his own disadvatage as Mandusa's etherial sex appeal freezes his own form solid!

The Vogue sucks in the oxygen from the known-down-drag-out brawl and turns around to look inside the garden where the models are now all beginning to move, and Tasty standing up, free from her bonds. Mandusa's power nullified with his own vanquish.

The Vogue comes up and Tasty throws her arms around his neck in a fierce embrace as the two are joined by their Stylish Substance teammates. Pink Flamingo pats his old teammate on the shoulder.

Pink Flamingo: Great to see ya!

Cuddling Battle Kitten in her arms, Lil Devil takes site for the first time of the Vogue and adds,

Lil Devil: Thanks! The kitty says thank you too!

"Purrrrrrr."

Then suddenly into the "garden" trots the Daughters of Darkness, obviously unaware of what had just occured because they are all smiles until...

Susanne: Did we miss...the...fun...?

The two look around them, seeing everyone free, then turn and see the petrified statue of Mandusa off by the pool. They turn back around and Cheyenne sees in Lil Devil's arms...

"Hissssss!"

Cheyenne: Bye-bye!

And Cheyenne takes off like streaked lightning! Susanne turns and gives the models and heroes a goofy grin and waves.

Susanne: Hi...uh, bye!

And she too takes off! The SS team looks off at Mandusa's frozen form.

Tasty: So what do we do with him?

Metropolitan Museum of Art...

Fade in to see Christian, Selena and Quentin, and Devil with Genie in her arms, looking up at a statue in front of them. Tasty looks at Christian.

Selena: And where did you get this idea?

Turn to see what they are looking at... It is Mandusa's petrified form, standing on a pedestal and painted white from head to toe, with just a micro-scopic loin cloth on his body. Christian shrugs.

Christian: The Museum accidentally hired two high schoolers to handle their statue of David and wrecked it, so I found them a replacement.

They all turn to re-examine the Staue of David/Mandusa.

Selena: But...wasn't that statue nude?

Christian: well, couldn't risk that his power could still work at any given point, even paralyzed he could still do damage.

Selena: Ah.

Quentin: Cappucinos anyone? My treat!

Devin: Yay!

The group all heads towards the museum exit, everyone that is except for Christian who looks into the air, whistling innocently and casting a sidelong glance at the statue.

The group gets to the exit and Tasty reaches for the door.

Selena: I bet Chrissy will be getting a Mint mocha again, huh? Chrissy?

They turnd around.

Selena: Chrissy! Tsk tsk!

There's Christian's petrified form, bent over, sneeking a peek under the statue's loin cloth. Tasty shrugs and wraps an arm around Quentin's shoulder.

Quentin: Oh well, bright side? The museum has two new statues now.

Devin: Let's get those cappucinos! The kitty and I are thirsty!

Cue exit...stage left.