[Kittie]

 Color Index
Past
Present
Kittie
(Part 1) Dr. Liddell (Part 2) The Old Friend


”Lilly is an investment banker.  She put together my portfolio, and I’ve brought in millions from her genius…”

14:03;33…
10-04-2011
Katalya McPherson Session 618- Dr. Tanya Liddell Surveillance tape from 10-31-1986

The surveillance tape rolls inside of what appears to be a police station interrogation room.  The feedback from the voice is not very clear, but the child-like innocence from the voice is authentic and warming despite the cold steel surrounding the long-haired little girl.  So angelic in her white night gown, her light blond hair trailing down her back, and down the sides of her face perfectly.  Her face is smudged, but it is hard to tell the color of the smudges due to the black and white tape.  Every now and then, the remote signal causes cross feed, blurring the screen momentarily.

Despite her rough looks, the girl is beaming with a smile that seems to emulate the warmth of ten suns.  She politely clasps her hands in front of her on the cold steel table in front of her.  She looks over to a dark-haired man in front of her, giving him an empty gaze that would seem to imply childhood innocence to the untrained eye, but this detective was all but untrained.

“So, your cat gives you investment tips? Maybe I should talk to her…”  Being polite, he gests, but his eyes, and his thoughts are focused on one thing, and one thing only.  “Does someone want your millions?  Did mommy and daddy try to take it away from you?”

The little girl gazes around the room, as if trying to get a clue of how to answer.  After a moment of this, she returns her dead stare back to the detective.  “I would share my bubble gum with Caleb, but he only likes the grape.  I like strawberry.  Mommy always buys us each our own so we don’t have to fight.  But sometimes, we like to mix them, and we trade pieces when we chewed em already. It’s not very hygenie-ic but we like to.”

The detective folds his hands together, he leans down to get to eye level with her, trying to see past her childish demeanor to see down to the real issue, but even he is having a hard time.  “I want to ask you some questions, Kittie.  Can I call you that?”

Young Kittie nods her head happily.  “Like a kitty cat.  Mommy and Daddy and Caleb and Gramma n Grampa call me that. Kittie Cat.  But my name is Kat-ayyy-lee-uh.  One time Caleb called me butthead, but I didn’t like that not at all.”

“I promise I won’t call you… butthead… if you let me ask you some questions, okay?”

Kittie looks down to her thumbs as she twiddles them slowly, nodding her head.  Her smile fades as she looks down to her thumbs.  “Okay Mr. Mike.”

“That’s Detective Mr. Mike…”  He gives a forced smile that convinces Kittie to crack a small smile as well, but her gaze remains on her thumbs which endlessly chase each other.  “I’m not used to talking with children, because I don’t have any myself, and this might be a little hard.  If you need me to stop, just let me know and we can take a break, okay?”

“Kay…”

“What do you remember about the last few days?”

Kittie’s thumbs begin swirling faster and faster as she sputters incoherent sounds.  She takes a deep breath with her lips still moving.  “It wasn’t our fault.  We were good kids, he said it!  Daddy took it one step too far and he got what was coming to him, he said!  He did say that!”  Kittie’s nostrils flare up as she continues to twirl her thumbs.  Her eyes widen as if staring past her twiddling thumbs, through the table, to the center of the Earth.  “Caleb held my ears so I couldn’t hear them making cotton candy.  I like cotton candy, but the machines scare me.  They sure do!  He said there were unicorns if I just closed my eyes and called for them.  I didn’t see them, but I saw Lilly.  She talked to me, and told me about investment banking.  She also told me there would be lots of cotton candy…”

Kittie stops talking, and her thumbs stop twiddling.  Her eyes seem to stay completely still as her lips quiver.  She shakes a little, except her eyes.  They stay completely still, and empty.

Detective slowly reaches his hand over across the table, trying to console the six year old Kittie, but she gets up from her seat quickly, and with a blood curdling scream, she shouts “STOP!!!!!!!  STOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!  MOTHERF*CKING BRATS STOP SCREAMING!!!”

She backs up against the wall, and once she touches the cold metal reinforced wall, she seems to understand the weight of what is going on.  Shocked for a second, she slides down the wall and bursts into tears.

THE TAPE PAUSES

Kittie stands in front of the television, staring at it coldly, an expression of indifference spread on like a finely crafted porcelain mask.  Standing next to her is Dr. Liddell, wearing a red business suit with a black blouse underneath, and a bright red scarf around her neck.

Dr. Liddell watches Kittie closely, looking out for any sign of emotion.  Her notebook is not on hand, but she is taking mental notes.  She comes up short as Kittie simply bats her eyelashes at the screen, then looks over to the doctor.

”You don’t want me to watch the whole thing this time?  Do I need to study the way I cried for another fifteen minutes before they brought me out to see Caleb?”

While normally Kittie would be sarcastic, she is being fully serious.  Her eyes locked onto Dr. Liddell, waiting for further instruction.

Dr. Liddell’s eyes sparkle with a sense of astonishment.  She lightly claps her hands together before moving toward Kittie with her arms stretched out for a hug.  Instead of hugging, she grips herself tightly as if to imitate giving a hug to Kittie.

”Kittie! I am very proud of you.  This is a major breakthrough for you!  You are learning to keep your emotions in check, and soon enough, we can go back to visits once a month, just like you wanted it.”

”It’s not a breakthrough.  It’s just the fifty fifth freakin’ time you’ve had me watch it.  After a while, the pain of those memories just fades to nearly nothing…  Or at least to a level I can tolerate.”

Dr. Liddell releases her imitation hug, her face melting into a bit of a frown.  She reaches out for Kittie’s hand, which Kittie hesitantly accepts.  The doc walks her over to her desk to sit in the chair across from her own desk chair.

As they sit down, Dr. Liddell reaches under her desk and pulls out a chilled bottle of water for Kittie, and one for her self.  Kittie takes the bottle, and slowly begins peeling the label from it.

”Now, Kittie, I feel like you are just being a bit humble about your accomplishments.  Why don’t you just repeat the exercise that Detective Mister Mike asked you to demonstrate in the video?  But I want you to dig down deep, and really open up about that night.  If you can do that, even you can’t deny it is an accomplishment.  In 25 years, you have only really scratched the surface yourself.  These suppressed memories need to come to light so that you can deal with them.”

Kittie wants to argue, but she simply cannot think of a reason why she shouldn’t attempt the exercise, other than the fact that it might be difficult to deal with.  She clasps her hands together on the table in front of her, nodding her head in approval.  Without realizing it, she begins twiddling her thumbs, just as she had done almost 25 years ago in the video.

She closes her eyes and tries to focus hard.  Waiting on the doctor to begin questioning, she takes deep breaths, in… and out… In… and out…

”Does someone want to take your millions away from you?  Mommy and daddy?”

”Me and my brother didn’t kill my parents, you cocky prick… And I like strawberry bubble gum.  Next question.”

Astonished, Dr. Liddell takes a second to digest Kittie’s paraphrasing.  Kittie’s jaw clinches a bit, but she practices her breathing exercises more thoroughly.  Eventually, she eases her jaw again, giving Dr. Liddell the signal to proceed.

”I know it is painful for you, but would you mind if I asked you some questions about what happened that night?”

”Kittie Cat… Katalya… Dead family members, yes you can ask me questions.”

Kittie’s breaths become a bit more rapid and shallow, causing her to struggle just a little harder to breath.  Her eyes move around rapidly underneath her eyelids, and just a hint of sweat gathers above her neatly manicured brows.  She lowers her head just a little bit, waiting for the doctor to continue.

”Now, Kittie, I want you to DIG DEEP.  I want you to really try here.  You are not 6 years old anymore.  Can you tell me, what happened in the last few days, referring to the days leading up to the video?”

Kittie’s breaths become another notch more erratic and she fights back trembles.  Dr. Liddell slowly reaches for her notebook, and then quickly snatches up her pen without making a peep to disrupt Kittie’s train of thought.

Kittie’s lips slowly work their way up to a full tremble.  She opens her mouth now, gasping for air.

A large man pushes his way through the white bedroom door of Kittie and Caleb’s parent’s room.  Their parents are laying in bed, reading until the sudden sound startles them.  His black work boots hit heavy against the floor as he slowly approaches their bed.

Across the hallway, Kittie watches as the man closes the door.  Being the precocious child she was, she had to get up to investigate.  Hesitantly, she puts her feet on the floor one at a time, and she pulls herself from her pink fluffy bed covered in stuffed animals.  Worried, she clears her throat as she approaches her door.  She opens her mouth to call for her mommy, when a small hand reaches just around the corner to cover her mouth.  She struggles to talk, but the hand muffles her, much to her own irritation.

”A big man, dressed all in black went into my parent’s room loudly.  He woke me and Caleb up from our sleep.  Caleb made sure we didn’t make a sound before he brought me back into my room, and closed my door.  It was too late to make a lot of noise..”

”It’s too late to talk loud, Kit.  We gotta play hide n’ seek from the man.  He wants to find us, but we can’t let ‘em.”  Caleb had always been the voice of reason between them.  He doesn’t let Kittie protest before trying to push her into her closet, soon following.

”I was… so scared now.  He tried to tell me we were playing, but I knew better than that.  The man was so loud, and my parents, and the dogs...  ‘HE DESERVED IT, YES HE DID!’  Like a broken record.  Everyone yelled, until the loud BANG BANG BANG BANG!”

After two loud gunshots, the last two were accompanied by the yelping of two dogs, followed by Mrs. McPherson’s loud cries.  Caleb went to put his hands over Kittie’s ears, but by this time, her bedroom door had been kicked in.  The loud sound caused Kittie to scream in terror, giving away their hiding spot.

”After that, it all cuts out… I only remember…”

Scattered memories collect in an incoherent, fragmented mess of screams, whimpers…

”He held my ears so tight, but my eyes took every bit of it in.  There was blood…  Cold, dead, empty eyes staring at us.  I don’t know for how long.  I hated him…”

Huddled over inside of a dog cage, the young boy clinches his hands around his sisters ears, his own eyes closed, full of dreaded tears.  He kept yelling something, over and over, but the sound is muffled.

“Close your eyes, Kittie!  Keep them closed!”

Kittie’s eyes shoot open, and immediately she jumps out of her chair, kicking it behind her.  She lets out a primal scream as she knocks every last thing in reach off of the desk, causing Dr. Liddell to shoot up from her chair, quickly taking her computer monitor off of the desk, grasping it against her chest, as she watches.

”F*CK YOU B*TCH!  F*CK YOU FOR MAKING ME RELIVE THAT! I SHOULD RIP OUT YOUR MOTHERF*CKING THROAT!!!”

”Kittie, you are not mad at me.  You are mad at him… Channel that properly.  Your match!”

Kittie paces back and forth, the rage in her eyes so strong, so intense, that she barely has any bit of control.  She walks over to the wall nearest the door, and she leans against it with all of her strength.

”I want to see him.  Arrange for me to see him, Liddell.  I don’t care what it takes, you make it happen.”

”I don’t think that is a good idea.  If you thought this episode was bad, then who knows how you will react to seeing him.”

Kittie turns around, removing her hands from the wall she almost intended to move with the way she was pushing on it.  She leans against the wall and slowly slides down, almost to a sitting position.  She places her hands on her knees before placing her head firmly against the wall with a THUMP noise.

”All these years, you’ve said that.  Did ya maybe think it might help me to get a vivid picture of what happened that night, and also allow me to see the only person there to protect me from what happened?  The one who went into an asylum by shaving off just enough trauma from me to keep me out of one?”

Dr. Liddell finally feels a sense of calm, enough to where she sets her monitor back down on her desk, focusing on it to adjust it to the right angle.  She brushes off her blouse as if some non existing dust were covering it.  Once satisfied with the result, she pushes her chair back up to the desk.  Her eyes are focused on Kittie as she cautiously makes her way over to her.  She squats down to get at eye level with Kittie, so to make sure she understands clearly.

”You bring back a little more each time we do these exercises, and slowly you are filling in the missing pieces.  If you go to see him, looking for these answers… I fear it will be too much, too quick.  Does that make sense?  We don’t need you getting put into an asylum next to your brother.  It isn’t what he would have wanted for you.  Do you understand?”

Kittie’s eyes lower to her interlacing fingers as she slowly regains control of her breathing.  The fire in her eyes slowly decreases, but it never goes out.  She takes one big breath, slowly letting it out.

”I understand what you mean, Doc.  I really do.  But you don’t seem to get it.  I don’t have a protector.  I don’t have a safe zone.  I don’t have a sense of stability.  Everyone else is dead and gone.  Gram, Gramp, Mom, Dad, Lilly, Billy, Roxie…  The closest thing to family is Jamie and Spike, Misty and the kids…

“I just haven’t seen him in almost 10 years because you thought it was unhealthy.  He is in a cage now, and he needs someone to give him some sort of comfort.  He is still in there somewhere, and I need to see him.  Even if it’s only to visit?”

Trying to hold back the tears, one escapes from her eye, rolling gently down her cheek..  This is something never before seen from the tough as nails, hard as a rock exterior, die hard warrior woman.  Her eyelids clinched closed, she lowers her head as if to hide it from Dr. Liddell.

”That wasn’t so hard, now was it?  As for visiting your brother, I still don’t think it is healthy for you.  But, if you feel so adamant about it, we could try your method…  But first, let’s set a goal for you.  If you take the next few days to train, reflect, and make frequent entries in your journal, then I will talk to his doctor about setting up a visit.  And if you win your match, maybe we will throw in an ice cream cone…”

Picking up on the note of sarcasm, Kittie lets out the faintest of laughs, using it mostly to choke back her other emotions threatening to burst out from within.  She lifts her head up, looking at the doctor with a sly smirk upon her face.

”That one hasn’t worked since I was 9 years old.’

”Well, deny it all you want, but everyone likes ice cream…”

Dr Liddel returns to a standing position, straightening out her clothing as she does so.  She walks back over to her desk and takes a seat, making sure to avoid the clutter strewn about the floor.  She takes a moment, tapping her fingers against the desk to see if Kittie has anything further she would like to discuss on the matter.

”Now, I promised our employer that I would make sure you were in the proper mindset for your match this week.  From last week, it seemed that you had really boosted your confidence level.  You really seemed to know where you stood on the topic.  Since their promos have come out… is there anything that you would like to further discuss on that end?”

Kittie rises from her sitting position, leaning against the wall for posterity.  She comes back over to the chair she had been sitting in before, resting herself down gently.  She flips her hair out of her face before folding her hands in front of her.

”I covered most of it last week before I even saw their promos.  I still pretty much feel the same way.  Except there is one ass biscuit that seems to talk a LOT about people he has no business talking about.  Someone who needs to keep his insinuations to himself before he pisses off someone who will likely come and rip his head off…  And to call Las Vegas ‘his city’ is ridiculous.  Nine months in the town, and you think you own it?  Try living here your whole f*cking life!  At least some people here know my name…

“But, he isn’t in my match, and he better thank God he isn’t.  But someone who is in my match, and seems to have an inflated ego, is Fantasia… Former champion, former lame moniker, longest reigning champion of some fed most of the world has never heard of…  Bragging about that would be like bragging about how I held the UCW Hellkat Championship for a month.  It isn’t prestigious, it doesn’t really amount to a damn thing as far as I’m concerned.  All it says is that she hasn’t accomplished anything in recent history, which really does only put her on par with me.  I like her confidence though.  I really do admire it, even if I do think it seems a bit stale.  Outdated by a good ten years…

“Misty is the one I’m concerned about.  She has had 3 fairly recent title reigns from GXW.  She still has the belt in her trophy room if I remember right.  She is as relentless as I am.  She has proven herself to the newer generations of wrestlers time and time again.  That’s something I haven’t done… Yet!  As much as I hate to have to make an impact by defeating a friend in our debut match, it’s very important that I do.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t underestimate her, and I hope for her own benefit that she doesn’t underestimate me.”

Dr. Liddell clasps her hands together neatly over her notebook as her dark eyes rest upon Kittie.  She smiles at the resilience of the young bombshell.

”You mentioned that Misty is the closest thing to a sister that you have.  I know it must make it hard for you, considering the rather delicate situation she is in.  She has her small child watching, her teenage boy, and her husband watching.  How does it make you feel to know that your ‘family’ won’t even be cheering for you?  And knowing the children will be watching… How does that impact your mindset going into this match?”

To be honest, Kittie never really thought about having not one single soul in her corner for this bout.  The realization comes out crystal clear as she lowers her eyes once again to the table.

”To be honest, it sucks a little.  But wrestling is my life.  It’s all I’ve had since my valet days.  It slowly filled that hole deep inside, and since the first time I stepped in that ring, I never really had anyone in my corner.  Not having anyone in my corner now is no different than any other time I came out victorious.”

Kittie lifts her eyes from the desk, as if staring at a third person in the room, behind Dr Liddell.  Fixated on something, she clinches her jaw as she continues.

”With the exception of a few months of wrestling tag with Nyako, I haven’t ever truly had anyone pulling for me, but my drive hasn’t ever been impacted by that.  This is for me.  This is to prove to ME that I can do it.  For so long I’ve had to valet, manage, job, work the shit matches, play the floozy, bow down to the burned out legends who need the money because they are no longer relevant, make the pretty girls look like they have even an ounce of talent, breaking candy jars over Amazonian dipshits because they stole what I worked so hard to earn…  No more!  It’s time the world sees exactly what I’m capable of.  I refuse to sit back and take it!  The only way to be taken serious at all, is for me to walk into Climax Control and show it right out of the gate.

“I don’t give two shits, or a f*ck who gets in my way.  Misty will likely do the same.  She just better hope that Eden isn’t watching, because I would hate it if that little doll were to see what I might do to her mother.  I wouldn’t want her to turn out scarred like me.  I know from experience, watching your parent bleed does things to the head.  Hopefully Spike will put her to bed early Sunday night…”

”I’m in awe, Kittie.  That’s very powerful, and it sounds like you truly are convinced that you will, in fact, walk out of Climax Control victorious.  He will be very happy to hear that…”

* * * * * * *

**Part II: An Old Friend
SUNDAY OCTOBER 9TH, 2011
-Just hours before Climax Control-

The arena door slowly opens, giving a quick peek at the frantic backstage action leading up to the show. The long white hallway of locker rooms, offices, and refreshment tables are crowded by busy worker bees, buzzing along with their own important tasks.  No familiar faces, no one even taking notice of the intensely cold woman making her way through, dodging the different crews, the whining talent that is unhappy with their accommodations, the interviewers more interested in getting a word with the fresh faces and the accomplished talent.

Kittie’s long flowing hair bobs behind her as she bumps shoulders with a man holding a clipboard.  He stops to look her up and down, noticing her black baby tee sporting a pink skull, her Tripp pants with pink straps and silver chains, and matching bracelets.  He scowls at her, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Young lady, how did you get back here?  Security around here sucks.  Go back to your parents and go in the fan access entryways!”

”I’m a wrestler, you twit.”  She pauses for just a moment to study his nonchanging expression.  “I’m Kittie… I have a match tonight.  Still not ringing a bell?”

”Oh, the jobber fighting Fantasia and Misty. Women’s locker room is just dow-uhhh!”  Kittie finally decides against thanking the guy for directing her toward the locker room by grabbing onto his shirt, pinning him against the wall.  She digs her silver claws into his shirt, causing the wide eyed tech to sputter what may or may not be an apology.  Kittie shakes with anger, even letting out a low pitch growl at the balding man.  Kittie takes a deep breath, and lowers her gaze to her hands, slowly letting go of the man’s shirt.  She point her fingers at her face assertively.

”Remember this face, because it’s going to be the next face of the Bombshell division.  You will see.  They all will…”

Kittie slowly takes a few steps backward before disappearing down the hallway, almost blending into the crowd.

”I’m starting to really notice a difference with the intensive therapy, but now and then, I just… lose it.  In this business, that can be a good thing, but not always.  I got that one under control, but who knows how the next one will go.”

Kittie makes her way toward the door of the Women’s Locker Room.  Out of the corner of her eye, she notices a dark figure leaning against the wall.  Black, messy spiked up hair, over a pale white face, those icy blue eyes the jewels of his finely crafted face.  Upon noticing Kittie, the man pushes off of the wall and turns toward her, his lips curling into a smile, causing his lip ring to shine for a brief second in the light.

”Well, well.  If it isn’t Ms. Kittie Cat.”

His deep, slightly raspy voice booms out at her, almost startling her for a moment, before her mind clears and she realizes who it is.  She wraps her arms around him in a friendly embrace, feeling the coolness of his leather jacket against her warm cheeks.

”Spike Staggs…  How is everyone?”

”Kids are great.  They are really a handful, especially Eden.  But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  How have you been?  It’s been a while…”

Kittie nods her head, trying to break the gaze between the two.  Small talk just isn’t either of their strong suits.  Avoiding the obvious topic of conversation just doesn’t seem to be much of an option anymore.

”Look…  I hope the kids aren’t here to see this, Spike.  I love Misty to death, and tonight will not be anything personal, but I’m going to give it my best shot.  I don’t want to upset you, but I won’t hold back, and I don’t expect Misty to either.”

Spike’s eyes twinkle in an odd sense of pride.  His signature half smile shines through his dark exterior as an awkward moment of silence is shared between the two, broken only by Spike’s deep chuckle Kittie looks away for a second before taking a step back.

”The kids are here tonight because of the SEI mandatory gathering of support, but I promise you I will keep Eden’s eyes from the match… I would be disappointed in either of you if you held back, especially with the stakes so high.  You and I have been through a lot since GCW, and I wouldn’t hold it against you if you did what you had to do… Between you and I.  As long as you keep it within the realm of fair competition.”

Kittie tilts her head to the side upon hearing SEI (Staggs Entertainment Inc).  This organization of wrestlers was founded by Spike’s uncle, and boasts an impressive roster within several different wrestling organizations throughout the world.  It is her tie to Spike initially, as well as her entry to the wrestling world.

”SEI?  Support?”

”Yeah, everyone will be in attendance tonight to cheer you and Misty on.  I would have been here either way for that.”

[yellow]Kittie places her hand on the door knob, ready to enter until the thought of running into Misty before the match really entered her mind.

”Is she…?”

”No, not yet.  I’ve been waiting to surprise her.  I’m just glad I got to let you know you do have a fan out there rooting for you, both of you.”

”I need to get ready for my match.  I need to get my head straight before I see Misty…”

”You two will figure it out, I’m sure.  Next week, it will be like nothing ever happened.”

"I kind of doubt that, Spike... But thanks for wishing me luck..."

Kittie smiles and nods before turning back toward the door.  Spike places his index and middle finger against his forehead, saluting Kittie as she disappears through the door.  He leans back against the wall, looking around for Misty once more.