At Your Funeral by Pinhead Gunpowder" plays, as Saint Patty enters the stage, accpompanied by two of his chosen super models. He walks down the ramp, flexing and strutting, Usually approaching the attractive females in the crowd, boasting and bragging. When he reaches the ring steps, each of his models kiss him on the cheek, as he takes off his signature shades. He gets in the ring, shouting about how great he is. The audience is on their feeting booing.
In the ring is two sitting stools, and a couch, along with a tv monitor. Above the Tv monitor, the words "Moment with Perfection 2.0!" is written. Patty grabs one of the mics placed on the stools and sits down. His music finally cuts as he begins to speak.
SP: Wow! You guys must really like me !
The audience fills the arena with boos.
SP: You guys must be very, very, VERY, happy to see me!!
More boos...
SP: AWH SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I DONT CARE IF YOU BOO ME! Seriously, its actually quite catchy.
Patty points to the titantron as a clip rolls. It starts with Saint Patty in the shower. He is singing to himself, "Boo, boo, you suck Patty, boo, boo, we all hate you." The clip stops rolling, as the audience lets out a minor chuckle.
SP: How do you guys like my singing ? Quite beautiful, dont you think?
The audience boo as a "YOU SUCK" chant flows throught the arena.
SP: Well. Im going to stop beating around the bush, and boot up the the second episode...EVER...of The Moment of Perfection 2.0! And what better way to start off then with "The Mindfreaks" Despayre and Gabriel
The audience begin to cheer as a picture of Despayre and Gabriel show up on the monitor.
SP: I mean, I gotta admit. You guys are pretty interesting, pretty...unique. Actually, I might find myself becoming fan. You got an interesting story, and you guys seem to have a close bond. But the only problem is, how does that come into play in the ring ? I dont think it matters what goes on anywhere but this stage, this ring. I'm definitely not putting you guys down, I'm just saying im simply anticipating what's to come.
The audience gives a small cheer.
SP: HEY! Did I say you dipsh*ts can cheer?
And back to boos...
SP: Now the next guy is one of the competitors in the very first ever main event here in SCW, and that man is...JT Underwood!
The fans let out a loud pop of cheers as JT Underwood's picture shows up on the monitor.
SP: Now this guy is going into Climax Control with the odds, well, not so much in his favor, as he faces not one...but two talented preformers. Yet, Underwood still plans on "building a legacy." Look, you may not know it, but we got alot in common. Myself, is a Bulldawgs fan. Go Dawgs baby! Also, we both have confidence. Thats why I can say with out a doubt that the winner of the main event at Climax control will be...
A picture of D.J "D-Block" Williams shows on the monitor.
SP: D-Block baby!!! Man, Im not gonna lie, but this guy has what it takes. With help, he can go all the way to the top of the ranks.
The audience is at a max amount of boos.
SP: Now guys. Unfortunately, there are cry babies like this in the business...
A picture of Virgil appears on the monitor, except a pacifier and toy rattle is photoshopped in his hands. The picture has also been edited to make it seem like virgil is wearing a diaper.
SP: [Imitating a baby voice] I'm baby Virgil! Waaahhhh. That doody head Saint Patty said mean words, and it hurt my feeeelings! Waaaaahhhhh. Im going to wun to Mr.Ward cause i cant do anything for myself. Waaaahhh!
The crowd actually laughs at Saint Patty's imitation.
SP: Give me a break dude. I dont remember the saying being "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will kick my sorry ass!" Virgil, before I ever take you seriously, you need to man up, and solve your own damn problems. Not running off to the brass...Now, we are coming up on our last exhibit. The gentlemen who go by, Poisoned Power.
A picture of Bert and Ernie show up on the monitor, to a small chuckle from the crowd.
SP: First, lets take a look at what Ryan King had to say.
The monitor rolls a clip of Ryan King's most recent promo. It starts near the end where he started talking about Saint Patty.
Saint Patty, I really hope Tom Dudely isn't right when he says you’re going to be thinking of him while you’re getting your ass kicked on the very first ever SCW Climax Control.
The clip pauses
SP: Dont worry, he isnt.
Hopefully you will be thinking and screaming to yourself, when is this going to be over. When will these two powerhouses just pin me or make me tap out.
SP: Thats not right either.
You sit there and call yourself perfection, but one thing is true about you Saint Patty. You might be what every woman wants...
SP: Jealous?
And be what every guy wants to be...
SP: As in you...
However come Climax Control, your just going to be the first leprechaun that was poisoned with the unfortunate luck of being locked into the King's Fortune, and you will have to deal with me laughing at you the entire time you are screaming in pain."
SP: Now, there are plenty of things wrong with that statement. First off...Leppercahun? Really man? One, I am not Irish, I was born in raised in Georgia. Two, I'm six feet tall. Just because you and your buddy are giganto roid munching apes, doesnt mean everyone else is. Also, Im not going to be screaming pain. Now, I may not like him, but I have no doubt that, that "hick" Wyatt Peterson, can kick some Bert and Ernie ass before you even have a chance to do some damage.
The fans start to cheer, as they let out a "Wyatt! Wyatt! Wyatt!" chant.
SP: And lastly, Ryan's partner...Casey. Yeah, thats right. I called you boring. I may be an egotistical prick...Wait, wait, wait, let me a rephrase that. I AM en egotistical prick, but one thing I'm not is a liar. I tell it how it is, and you...You're just boring. But you try to come back, by talking about how my moves are all titled "The Most Perfect?" Well...If you must know...I labeled them that for the fact that they are the most perfectly executed moves, by any man in the history of wrestling. I dont need a flashy title for my finishers, to get the point across that they are, in fact, finishers. And I am positive that it can finish your pathetic ass.
The audience gives out a mixed reaction.
SP: Now, Wyatt...
The crowd breaks out into another "Wyatt!" chant.
SP:You and I may not be on the same page, and I admit, I dont really like you. But I can put that aside if thats what it takes to kick some Bert and Ernie ass at Climax Control.
The audience breaks out into a "Bert and Ernie."
SP: Well, thats the end of tonight's episode of "A Moment of Perfection 2.0!" Join me next time, when our...I mean, my...special guest will be "The Samoan Warrior" Moai!
At Your Funeral by Pinhead Gunpowder hits, as Saint Patty exits the arena.
