I have sucked the past few weeks. Months even.
Maybe it's depression.
Maybe it's the fact that I was touching it and then it was right through my fingers.
Maybe it's the realization of the fight I am fighting.
It could be a number of things. I'm not a doctor, but hey this is where we say "new year, new me?" and stuff and then we break those resolutions in about a week.
But it's okay, I'll keep being the bad guy. I'll keep telling the truth whether people want to hear it or not.
I enjoy it.
But anyway, what a year 2025 was huh?
Did you guys get what you wanted for Christmas?
Well, sometimes we just don't get what we want, do we?
Sometimes, you just have to take it.
And a lot of the time, it's better that way.
I can tell you about my favorite Christmas.
Won't you join me?
“Are you recording me?”
I asked as Levi had taken the phone out of the box and was obviously playing with it.
“Sure. Why not? I wanna see your reaction to the presents.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up a present. It was light in my hands.
“Clothes, most likely.” I ventured the guess.
“Open it.”
I sighed and ripped up the wrapping paper. The cardboard gift box came open and sure enough, it was clothes.
“I told you.”
“Let’s see.”
I reached in and pulled some of the items out.
“Baby clothes?”
They were indeed for a small child. I shrugged and tossed the box and clothes aside. There were still quite a few gifts under the tree.
One wasn’t even wrapped. No time, I guess. You know, sometimes the holidays are stressful. It was a big blanket of some kind, but when I unfolded it, it was a tapestry. “From Daughter to Dad.”
“Aww… that’s really cute. I’m sure he’d love that.”
“Hey, this one’s Pokemon cards.”
Levi held up a binder with one of them, I didn’t know and still don’t know to this day what Pokemon is what.
I took one, a smaller one, it fit in the palm of my hand. I shook it, and tossed it to Levi. He caught it and tore off the wrapping paper and opened the small Samsung box.
“This is a watch. Like, I think one of those… What do they call them… smart watches? Yeah, a smart watch.”
“Nice.”
He shrugged and then looked up at me.
“You want it?”
“Sure. Why not?”
He tossed the watch back to me and I fit the watch around my wrist. I spent the next few minutes going through the instructions, which sometimes can be the damnedest things. I got it to work, but needed to link it up with my phone at one point or another to get to work as intended.
*Thunk*
It was the sound of a car door. Levi and I looked at each other.
“I wonder who that could be.” I said as Levi put his finger over his mouth and lips, the general “Shh” motion. We crept out of sight as footsteps approached the door and a gentle knock followed. And then the door was opened. But it was a normal, unbothered opening of the door. Whomever was coming in wasn’t aware.
“Hello? John? Debra? It’s Beth and Kara!” One woman called out.
“Mom? Dad?” The second woman’s voice called out a few seconds later.
“What the hell happened?”
They were walking through, obviously, we had made a mess.
Levi and I looked at each other and we wore matching sly grins.
“The more the merrier, right?” Levi said with a soft chuckle reaching into his pocket. I reached into mine and Levi held up his index finger. We both slid the ski masks over our faces. Levi raised his middle to join the index, and we both pulled the pistols from our pockets.
When the ring finger joined… We burst out, guns pointed.
“Merry Christmas!”
–
We had spent a few weeks preparing for this. We had Levi's… or I guess what was then Levi’s car around Los Angeles. We scoped out quite a few places in the city, but all of them were in way too much of a public area. You do the job, and then boom, people are on you right away. This was no good. And we had just been in the hills, so the idea was very simple. We needed a place more rural. Ones off the beaten path so that we could get in and do what we needed to do, and there wouldn’t be much interference or people to get in the way.
We drove around and found ourselves out into more of the farm and rural areas. We started to check the traffic in the area. It was outside L.A. and more towards San Diego. It wasn’t that far of a drive, and it was out of the way. Those two lane roads with one house in the middle of nowhere.
It looked nice from the outside. A big long driveway offered all the space, and lots of empty land in the background. We casually observed the family coming and going. A nice older couple who were out every day tending their gardens and crops. They hung a wreath on the door to observe the holidays. They even went on long walks together. Such a love couple.
For a few days leading up to Christmas, they were just in the house all day.
“You don’t think they’re going to leave on Christmas day, do you?” Levi asked a couple days before.
“They haven’t left in a couple of days. Maybe they’re good.”
And just like that, they went on their long walk.
We walked up to the house, peeking in windows, and checking doors. We never saw them ever check the doors, and sure enough, around the back, the back door was unlocked. Folks this secluded seldom worried about someone coming in. Who would come all the way out in the middle of nowhere just to break in?
I know, right?
So, we watched the couple of days before Christmas and every day, at the same time, they went for a walk. They were gone for about an hour. Plenty of time to get in and see what’s what.
No one ever really showed up the entire time we were watching. We figured this was going to be fairly easy. Levi had multiple guns so it was easy for him to lend me one. It was more effective than a knife for intimidation purposes. We even went out into the woods and shot some targets, and then went to a Wal-Mart where they readily sell ammo.
This stuff is so easy to get, you know?
God bless America.
So, on Christmas morning, we woke up and sure enough, that morning walk started. We made our move. We walked up, and once again, the back door, unlocked. Didn’t even need to pick it or break a window.
They had plenty of presents. Like holy shit a lot. We decided to help ourselves.
But things sometimes don’t go as expected.
–
“Who the - “
“Shut up.”
Levi pointed the gun right in one of their faces. There were screams and panic. And then another set of footsteps. I turned as Levi kept his gun trained on the two in the room. Coming up the stairs into the main hall, an elderly woman.
“Kara, are you -”
I pointed the gun at her.
“Hello grandma. Please, come in. Let’s all have a seat on the couch.”
She nearly had a heart attack I think. She was so startled she lost her breath.
Yeah, we don’t have time for that. I pushed her to move to the couch. The other two were seated, huddled together but the Grandma remained standing hunched over and clutching her chest.
“What… wha..what do you want?” One of them blurted out through tears.
Levi and I looked at one another, shrugging.
“Maybe… my face on the one dollar bill?” Levi joked. “Nah, I’m just kiddin’. I want your money, obviously.”
“Okay. P-please just take it and go. Just please don’t hurt us!”
The women on the course emptied their purses and all in all we got about 100 bucks. Grandma was holding out.
“Okay Grandma, it’s your turn.”
She had finally gotten her breath. She paused, looking at both of us for a few seconds and stood there, defiantly. She was almost glaring at us. Can you believe that? This lady was crazy. Just giving us shit now.
“No.”
“No?”
“I’m not giving you anything.”
Levi looked at me with that “Can you believe this shit?” gestures. He pointed his gun at her head, but still, she stood there, almost welcoming it.
“Looks like Grandma wants to be a hero. Well hot damn. You know, I was thinking that this may be a little easier than this, but, it’s okay, I welcome a challenge.”
Without warning, Levi flipped the pistol around and *whack* One shot, right to the face. Grandma hit the floor really hard, groaning in pain. There were screams from the other women, but I flashed the gun in their direction.
“Don’t be a hero for Grandma either.”
Levi reached down and snatched the purse and pulled out a couple hundred dollars. He sighed and threw the purse down on the old woman.
“That could have been so much easier. Now, unfortunately, we’re running out of time. So, we might need a hostage. But, we really only have room for one of you.”
The women looked at each other concerned.
“It’s a logistical issue. Just not enough room.” I clarified.
“So, maybe, maybe we just take one, so… which is gonna be?”
The two women on the couch looked at each other and then at the Grandma. They were terrified and unable to make the choice. Levi was getting impatient.
“If you can’t make the choice I will. For one of you, you get to come along. If you hesitate much longer, it’ll be the end of the road.”
They panicked. But suddenly, Grandma burst up and grabbed a hold of Levi.
“RUN!” She groaned as Levi began to pistol whip her some more. The younger woman sprinted off the couch and went outside. The older one was trying to help.
“Go get her!”
I sighed, but the thrill of the chase was fun. I took off after the daughter. She was about halfway down the long driveway already. Adrenaline is a son of a bitch. I chased, realizing if she got away, she could run into anyone at this point. She sprinted for a long time and finally hung a left into the woods.
I veered off, swinging around to get behind her. She was taking huge gulps of air as the fear and adrenaline mixed perfectly. She was looking everywhere for me. I got behind her and tackled her, knife pressed up against her throat.
“I love the outdoors too, but I think it’s time to get back inside.”
She groaned, a fiery rage built and exploded in the angry scream.
“Well shit, you’re a great screamer. But I bet that’s what everybody says.”
I marched her back in and there was silence except for a fork scraping a plate. Levi sat himself near the grandma and the mother or older daughter, who were now both bleeding and battered. Levi put the piece of toast he made in his mouth and ate some. He motioned for the younger girl to sit down.
“You want some toast?”
She declined, now more concerned with her bloody relatives.
“Your loss, this is pretty good.”
Levi continued to eat the toast without saying much.
“What now?” I said to break the silence.
We just need to wait for….
“Levi looked at the phone he took.”
“3 Minutes.”
Levi continued to eat, and then wiped his face with a napkin and pocketed it. Then we both heard the indistinct chatter and footsteps outside.
“Right on time. Please go greet our new guests.”
I walked outside, and sure enough, John and Debra, the older couple were walking up. They spotted me and stopped. At first, John thought I was one of his daughters.
“Oh, Kara, that’s…”
He shook his head.
“Uh… hello. Can we help you?”
I raised the pistol and smiled.
“Come on inside, Christmas dinner is almost ready.”
The fear flashed and they both put their hands up. Inside we went, where Debra ran over to her daughter and sister, I am assuming. It could be the in-law. I don’t know. I don’t worry about semantics too much. Now they were crying and John was aghast.
“What do you want?”
“Money. Duh. You have a safe? A secret stash? Give it up.” Levi commanded.
“Yeah, yeah sure pal, just don’t hurt us!”
John was escorted by Levi to a room and then walked out with a bag. Inside was plenty of money.
“Nice. Well, I think our job is done here. Now if you’ll be so kind pop to j-ugh!”
Without warning, John had gotten froggy and tackled Levi up against a wall and knocked the gun out of his hand. They tussled for a brief moment.
*BANG*
The gunshot was louder than I expected. It even startled me. But, John was now down, holding his leg which was bleeding heavily. Levi looked over at me and nodded, a surprised sigh of relief, almost like he was so stunned he didn’t believe it. He chuckled and walked over to me, throwing his arm around me and kissing my head through the mask.
“Baby you’re the greatest.”
The women screamed and were frantic but the guns waved at them again silenced them.
“Why do you people have to be so stubborn? Now… as I was about to say, before I was rudely interrupted, you could have taken your seat on the couch pops. But now look at you.
“Please just go. You’ve taken everything!” Debra shouted.
Levi turned to me and gestured in her direction. I pointed the gun and thought about pulling the trigger.
“Nah. We’re just gonna go.”
“Thank you folks. You all have a Merry Christmas!”
With that, Levi and I left, owners a new smartwatch, a phone, and a lot of money.
I was so getting used to this.
I am so pleased to be in the presence of the golden child.
I see we’re going to have to play a little game because it’s how people taught you. I will tell you, like I told the Captain a while ago. I don’t care about who’s right or wrong or gets all their ducks in a row for information. This is not about that and never has been. But people like you just want to act like it’s the end all be all.
I was in your position once. And then it was taken from me. Taken because I wanted this to be about all of us, not just a few, not just the elite. But people like you continue to make it about a few people and not everyone. I was trying to save this place from being a boring waste that no one would want to come to. I wanted to make it open. I wanted people to earn things and give this place order amongst the chaos.
But it was taken from me and ever since then, I have been spinning my wheels. I will gladly admit that. I haven’t really felt like making this kind of effort since I lost the championship. Because really, the title hasn’t mattered to me. But now I fully understand its purpose. You see, if you were in immense physical pain and I were to tell you I’m a doctor, I think you’d want to see some kind of credentials, right? You wouldn’t just take my word that I’m a doctor. I mean, you got stabbed in the toe? Let me rub your neck with aloe vera! That’ll fix you right up. No, you’d need to verify this.
And the title was my verification.
Things were getting to the point where we were just starting to turn the corner and then boom, Crystal whoever steals the title from me and now I can scream at the top of my lungs about actually doing good, and it gets ignored. Because I don’t have the thing that I need. I was focused on trying to do things a different way, since they just don’t want me anywhere near the title again.
I accept that. I play by the rules I tried to set. I said we don’t hand out free title shots anymore, and I’m playing by that. Of course, that doesn’t apply to certain people who just love this re-run title reign of Crystal where she’s handing a title shot to her ex that she just wants to use and abuse one more time. No new faces, no fresh talent, just the same old, stupid shit.
And that is where you come in.
You are their one new person that they will hang their hat on and say “look, here’s a new person. See, we’re doing this the correct way.” I was in that position once. But I didn’t conform. I didn’t go out there and read my lines like a good soldier. I tested things. I challenged things. I wanted so much for this place, and they got afraid of me.
But it’s fine. They have you.
You are my replacement, Amelia.
You go out there and say all the right things, all the cool things. You’re hip and trendy. You probably think I’m just terrible for trying to do things and you’re going to put a stop to me changing this place. You are the future. You are… what do you say… you’re a problem! It’s so cool you could put it on a t-shirt and slap an SCW logo on it and it would sell like hotcakes.
You are exactly what they want. You’re the puppet they want. The cymbal playing monkey that winds up. You’ll do anything they tell you to do because you crave their approval.
No, Amelia, I respect the hustle. Everybody has their role to play and that’s yours. You do you. I’m here for it. I look forward to watching as you, under their thumb, rise to undeserved glory and fame because that’s how you get along. Quid pro quo. You play along, you get rewarded. I see it. I understand it.
And no, I know you really want to beat me to the punch on this, but I’m not jealous. If they picked you, they picked you. I didn’t get hand picked, I took what was in the way. I did it to make this place better. I seized this company by the throat and tried to drag it forward. I took people out of the game, and did it in style. I challenged the so-called “dominant” champion and had her running in circles trying to connect dots in a silly debate. And in the end, I lit her on fire and took her title.
You were here for that, weren’t you? You were a part of this company, right? What happened? Why didn’t you take the same opportunity I did? Why did you falter? Why were you left in the dust as I rose to the top? Where were you Amelia? You could have and should have been there right along with me. You and I, battling to get control and take the title. Why did you not make it?
I did all that and then some. And now you’ve come out of nowhere and suddenly you’re the it girl now? When did this happen? Where the hell was I when Amelia Reynolds took the company by storm? I’ll admit, I haven’t really been paying attention to you, or anything you’ve done because it’s really not worth talking about. What is there to talk about Amelia? You have done nothing, accomplished nothing in this company, but you’re a problem. You’ve got all this confidence based on… winning some matches I guess. And a loss to Mercedes Vargas.
Oh boy, I am quaking in my boots at the thought of this.
I had better things to do, bigger fish to fry and other opponents that I had made some arrangements for and then all of a sudden, it’s announced that I’m facing you at Inception. Like… hold up, when did this happen? I had plans and now they are once again on hold because I had to do something else.
At first, I didn’t like this in the slightest. I was ready to come out here and talk about how ridiculous it is that I didn’t get any notice, and then you would have said “Well I didn’t either and you can’t complain about that and OMG you’re such a loser!” I am fully aware of how plans change. It’s fine. But you know, since you need to win this debate, sure, you got it.
That strategy doesn’t really work, because I will lie, cheat and steal to get the things I need. I don’t need to be right, I don’t even need to believe I’m right. I can lie through my teeth just to make you think one thing. But as they say in the Exorcist,
“The Devil will mix lies with the truth to deceive.”
So I could sit here and say anything and you’d gobble it up, listening word by word for anything to give you an advantage, and then throw it back at me like you’re tossing out a good hand on the poker table. Read ‘em and weep! Gotcha!
You can have all the gotcha’s you want. This isn’t a debate. I’ll be wrong, I’ll be the bad guy and then what? I relish being the bad guy. Because I do things and say things no one else wants to. I make people uncomfortable. Right now, you are uncomfortable because you don’t know what I’m going to say. Or maybe you do. Does it make you feel like you’re in command of this situation?
No puppet, you dance when they pull your strings. You dance on command. I was doing everything to keep you free from those strings, but they want to fast track you to take the spot I once had. It’s fine. You do that. I’m just saying that it feels way better without the strings attached.
But here is the real treat for me. I get to beat you up and show them that their puppet isn’t as amazing as they want you to be. They really want you to beat me and then you can hold your head up high and continue to sell the whole “problem” thing you have going on. Again, no knock to the hustle. It’s marketable. Very corporate, very safe.
What isn’t marketable, what isn’t safe, is the rough, dirty, and difficult task of changing the landscape of this company. The real work in the trenches. It’s easy to just sit there and let the machine give you everything. Think about this. You are here as the next hottest thing. You beat me, you’ve beaten a former world champion. Well on your way to coming up short for a title match and then they move on to the next big thing.
But beating you? I slow down the machine to a crawl. I make the machine re-think its choice of you as its figurehead. I put your time in this company in jeopardy. I put you in a position you may never get out of. Then there’s no “problem” t-shirts. There’s no small children thinking of you as a role model. I can take all of that away.
This gets better and better for me the longer I think about. I have a chance to stick you straight up their asses and tell them to suck me off. How they had their chance at the best. I already proved it. But they want to settle for you? Well fuck that noise. No you’re going to get your ass beat. You don’t really want a problem with me. Because you think I’ve already peaked and now I cannot come back to that spot again. You think I’m about to be this easy win because you got a little moment on your side, a spring in your step. It’s all gonna be sunshine and rainbows.
No baby, we’re about to play in the fucking mud.
We’re going to get so dirty we’re gonna need to take a bath with a fucking pumice stone.
The captain followed me down here and fucking regretted it. I am filthy, Amelia. You don’t want to get this dirty. You need to be clean, smile brightly and flash the pearly whites. Fighting with me will leave you very very stained. Moist even. You don’t want to go to this level, but I will go lower. I will sink to new and fun lows that you don’t want to be a part of.
And when you’re down here with me, like you will be in two weeks… you’ll regret it. All that promotion, all that press, all that recognition? I’ll all be over. All it down the toilet. I will use your broken and sticky body as a ladder back to that place. I will put you on display. If this was medevel times, I would put your head on fucking pike.
But instead, I’ll have to settle for kneeing you in the fucking face. Maybe break your nose, or jaw, or whatever I see fit. You don’t control this situation. I do. I can do many really nasty things to you and ruin a lot more than just your rise to the top. I can ruin everything. You’re taking this risk and I’ll give you credit for that, but we both really know you’re doing it because they are telling you to.
Dance puppet, dance.
And when it’s over and you are laying there regretting poking the bear like this, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. I have a destiny to fulfill, and at this point, after all the times being sidetracked? I don’t think I’m gonna take any responsibility for what does happen to you. I want you to think about that Amelia. I’m sure you’re jotting all this down.
Just star this shit, highlight it, make it a bullet on your document.
It’s not my fault what happens to you.
Trust me.