UNBREAKABLE EDDIE LYONS AGAIN PART 2
The scene opens up inside the TUCSON CONVENTION CENTER which is located near the TCC ARENA in Tucson, Arizona. The signs advertise a competition between Bill Barnhart and his English Bulldog Iris, that is classified as a Winner Take All Farting Contest. It has been over a year since Bill and Iris had a farting contest, with the proceeds from the event going to a good cause to help others. The good cause for this event is the Disabled American Association that helps provide not only emotional support to injured Military personnel but also provides medical assistance and other benefits to those who served in the United States Military. We see that Anthony Amey, the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, Georgia, is in attendance and we have been told he is the moderator and Referee for this Winner Take All Farting contest between Bill and Iris his English Bulldog. The scene shifts to Anthony Amey to provide lead-in comments for this fundraising event.
Anthony Amey: Greetings to everyone watching today. I am Anthony Amey the Sports Anchor for WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, Georgia. We are located at the Tucson Convention Center which is located near the TCC Arena where Sin City Wrestling is holding their wrestling event. I was asked to provide the viewers with an overview of what this Farting Contest between Bill Barnhart and his English Bulldog Iris will consist of. Bill and Iris will face off in the middle of the TCC Arena. There are numerous tables situated around the area where Bill and Iris will compete. There are various food items. There are various drinks. There are various type of other food item. And, also included in this particular Farting Contest between Bill and his English Bulldog Iris, is a table with various strengths of Hot Sauce in case either contestant cares to try to get the edge by downing some super hot Hot Sauce. I took a look at the items Bill and Iris can partake in and the one that shocked me is a hot cause named PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE which is one of the hottest of all hot sauces around. I was also told by Bea Barnhart that the only reason the PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE was included in this event was to provide what we call THE NUCLEAR OPTION which would outright win the competition if either contestant cares to try to use it. However with trying the PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE both Bill and Iris, or both of them, would be likely to end up in the hospital for treatment of eating one of the hottest hot sauces on the planet. With that said I see that Bill and Iris have made their entrance along with Bea Barnhart. I have been told that since Bea is related to both contestants she is not allowed to be a judge of who wins the event. That has been left to me to deliver the decision on whether Bill or Iris wins the event. With that said…let’s do this!!!
Bill and Bea enter the area where the Farting Contest will take place. We notice all the various food and drinks items on the table along with drinks that Bill and Iris will have access too to try to defeat each other. Although Bill has a determined and mean look on his face as he stares down Iris it is Iris who comes back with an even meaner look on her face as she stares down Daddy Bill.
Anthony Amey: As mentioned previously both Bill and Iris can eat any of the items presented on the tables. There are no restrictions. Although this is a Farting Contest I will not be the only person judging the farts to determine who the winner is. I have selected three fans from the audience in attendance so if there is no clear winner they can break the tie. Bill are you ready?
Bill: I am always ready Anthony!
Anthony Amey: Are you ready Iris?
Iris: Woof!
Anthony Amey: The contestants are ready. The judges are ready. So at the sound of the air horn blast let this Farting Competition proceed!!!
The air horn blasts and this contest is officially underway. Bill quickly makes his way over to the sodas as he loves Classic Coke and that gives him a good gas level. Iris, on the other hand, has gone to where different type of soda bottles and cans are located and Iris takes an early lead over her Daddy Bill in the amount of carbonated drinks each has taken in. Bill bends over and attempts to fart but it is too early in the competition for Bill to be able to generate anything. Iris just saw what her Daddy Bill did so Iris shakes her butt for a bit then she attempts to release a fart but she also fails to let one fly.
Anthony Amey: Both participants tried to release a smelly fart and both failed as it is way too soon for either of them have taken in enough items to generate a smelly fart.
The look on the face of Iris tells us she is determined to win this event so this time she leaves the carbonated drinks to find something else that is likely to generate the gas she needs. Iris sees Pepperoni Pizza slices and she runs over there as she knows eating Pepperoni Pizza generates gas for her. Iris starts to devour several slices of Pepperoni Pizza to attempt to get the win. When Bill sees what Iris is doing he runs over to a table that has numerous containers such as Ketchup, Mustard, Mayonnaise, Olives, and Rotting Cheese. Both Bill and Bea down as much of what is in front of them and then, again, both are unable to generate enough to release the gas.
Anthony Amey: We have only five minutes left in the competition so Bill and Iris need to get moving and try to pull off the win. Iris runs over to another table and this table has differently types of pickled and smoked items such as Salami, Cheese Slices, and some pickled olives. Iris wastes no time devouring all the items that are before her. Bill sees that Iris might have the lead so Bill does the unthinkable and he quickly runs to the table that has various sauces that you might put on dishes you cook with one of the items called PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE which is one of the most vicious hot sauce available. Bill glances over at Iris downing a lot of items and we watch as Bill pulls off the top of the PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE bottle and he downs about half the bottle before he cannot stomach any more of this vile hot sauce. Iris realizes what Daddy Bill just did so Iris realizes she has to try to spew forth a nasty fart to have a chance of winning. It was a good fart by Iris but not a great one. The camera focuses on Bill Barnhart who is grasping his stomach from the pain of the PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE doing what is is designed to do. The rumbling in Bill’s stomach can be heard some distance away from where Bill is located. Bill then bends over and lets go a hellish smelly disgusting fart just before the the timer has run out on this event and the air horn sounds to indicate this Farting Contest is officially over. The three wrestling fans who were selected to judge this Farting Contest seem hesitant to approach Bill and Iris but they were selected and they do their jobs as Judges. They first go to Iris and although the smell Iris produced was really nasty when they walk over to where Bill is located the three wrestling fans nearly choke to death from the vile smell Bill was able to generate. Then run to where Anthony Amey is located to deliver to him their decision on who the winner of the farting contest is. After talking with him Anthony Amey issues the final decision in this contest.
The stench in the arena is increasing to Anthony Amey is in a hurry to deliver the final decision on this Farting Contest.
Anthony Amey: We have the decision from the three wrestling fans who served as Judges for this Farting Contest. Their unanimous decision is that the winner of this Farting Contest, due to releasing the most vile stinky fart is BILL BARNHART!!! Bill and Iris share hugs and kisses as this was a fundraising event and the money will go to children who has Muscular Dystrophy.
The crowd in the arena cheer for Bill but now that the stench of what Bill and Iris released is causing people in the arena to gasp and choke and gag and there is a mad rush to get out of the venue so they can breathe clearly. The camera person cuts their camera feed at this point and our screen goes dark.
*** later in the day ***
While the viewers were enjoying the contest between Bill Barnhart and his English Bulldog Iris, then the video went dark, we have been told that Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, have transferred to the TCC ARENA as they wanted to present the remainder of their comments for Bill’s match against Eddie Lyons. When the camera shot is presented for all the viewers we see that Bill, Bea, and Iris, are standing in front of the wrestling ring where Bill will do his match against Eddie Lyons.
Bill: Thanks for everyone who joined us after the competition I had against Iris for a Fundrising Event. Iris was upset that she nearly got the win over me but NEARLY getting a win doesn’t mean a damn thing when your opponent won the contest. You got that Eddie? Did you hear me correctly? Hell, man, I didn’t stutter! SHEESH!!
Bea: This is the westling ring where Bill and Eddie will face off. The situation with this match is that both Bill and Eddie don’t give up no matter how hard the action of their match becomes. This will be, without a doubt, one of the best matches of this event. Iris will not be with me at ringside as I will leave her locked in our dressing room backstage. Iris still needs to learn some manners before I can fully trust her to roam around ringside during our matches.
Bill: Eddie. . .Eddie. . .Eddie…did you catch my challenge against Iris at the Tucson Convention Center? Hope you caught the entire event as Iris came out hard but when I drank that PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE Iris knew she was going to lose. It was close but Iris lost and I won. The money donated went to a deserving charity so we are okay with that. Eddie this is how I see our match going. I believe we will have a good back and forth but in the end I will be able to get the win by either pinfall, submission, or you will walk away and concede the match to me as I was too much for you to handle. And, Eddie, I will defeat you without the help of the PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE like I did to Iris. And, Eddie, in closing my comments for today if you decide to cheat and violate the rules of our match you will see the bottle of PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE again. If you cheat and violate the rules in our match I will down the bottle of PURE EVIL HOT SAUCE and shock you into submission as I did with Iris. Did you get that Eddie? Did you undersand that Eddie? Do you want to go down that road Eddie? If your answer to my three questions are not YES I GOT IT BILL. . .and YES I UNDERSTAND THAT BILL. . .but your third response should be NO, BILL, I DON’T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAINST YOU.
Bea: Eddie you are going to look so bad performing against Bill that I wouldn’t be surprised if Management refuses to assign you a match for at least 30 days. Good luck in your match against Bill. You are damn sure going to need all the luck you can find to last more than ten minutes in this match against Bill.
Bea gives the cut sign to the camera person and the camera person cuts their camera feed and the screen goes dark.