We open the shot with Vinnie seated at the Barnhart household, there he and Bill and Pete and Iris are all sitting at the dinner table when suddenly Felix “The Kat” Hernandez comes out to the room with a large pot of food that he places in the middle of the table.
Vinnie: That smells good Felix, what did you cook???
We see Felix smile as he takes of his cook hat as he places it next to the pot before lifting off the lid and smells over the pot as the steam rises from it that causes him to grab handkerchief and blow his nose.
Felix: Oh man, this soup always gets me.
He puts the lid back on the pot before heading back to the kitchen, only to come back with slices of bread that needs to be dipped into the soup. Felix places the plate with bread besides the pot of soup and starts to pray. We see everyone close their hands and bow their heads except for Cacti Pete. Who is waving over towards Iris, who is wiggling her tail as she and Pete are running around the table.
Pete suddenly stops at the single chair that is empty, this is the chair that usually Bea Barnhart would be seated at. But she is on the road, something that Vinnie will have to do as well as he hops on the plane the very next day, but he decided to spend some more time along with his friends and make sure that Pete and Iris wouldn’t make a mess from the Barnhart residence.
*Ruff*
Iris tries to get on the chair as well, but her little fat paws are unable for her to do so as she roams around the chair in circles while she keeps an eye on Pete who climbs on top of the table. There he looks around, checking if nobody has caught him doing something he is not meant to do before turning his attention towards the soup and the slices of bread. He quickly charges in, only to jump up in shock as he hears Felix utter the word Amen.
Felix: Amen…,
Pete realizes that he is only a few moments away from getting caught and jumps behind the pot of soup out of sight of the others that are sitting around the table as Pete is looking at the empty chair of Bea Barnhart. This causes him to give a huge cacti sigh of relief (These types of sighs aren’t being heard by human ears as they are unable to catch the high pitch tones that cacti can deliver, luckily animals can.
*Ruff!!*
Iris hysterically runs around the table, this causes a distraction as everyone around the table looks towards the mad barking Bulldog as this is the signal that Pete needed. He quickly lifts the lid of the pot of soup, grabs hold of a few slices of bread as he is about to dip them inside the soup only to fall into the soup as he steps on the spoon that is used to pour in soup in the plates as this causes a loud splash to be heard as well as pieces of vegetables, small meatballs and other recipe itmes to fly in the air before landing on top of Pete who is now on his back while floating inside the pot of soup.
Felix: Did anyone hear something??
Felix asks, this causes Pete’s heart starting to race as he wonders how in the hell he is going to escape the pot of soup without being recognized… as well as how people will react knowing that he tried to steal some bread being dipped in their soup. He looks from left, then to right as he listens to any particular sound that could tell him what is about to happen.
Bill: Calm Down Iris!! We are trying to have a final supper before Vinnie and Pete are going to travel towards the next show!!!
The show!! Pete realizes that him going to travel towards the next Climax Control could very well be in jeopardy when they will catch him inside the pot of soup. He face palms himself, asking himself how he could be so impulsive and not reconsider what the consequences could be when being caught. He then starts to ask why in the hell he is doing these foolish things, suddenly remembering a wise lesson that his cacti mother once had told him many years ago.
Cacti Mom(flashback): Don’t let female dogs steal your heart son, they will ruin your life!!!
The words echo inside his head, Pete slaps himself a few times as he realizes that he has done exactly that what his lovingly mother had warned him about.
Felix: Well, I guess everyone is present so it is time for us to eat.
Pete suddenly sees the lid from the pot being removed as light falls inside the pot of soup as he sees the lightbulbs above his head. A hand can be seen placing the soup spoon as it starts to stir inside the pot of soup as it coms in contact with Pete’s sies, causing him to grab hold of his mouth in order to prevent him from screaming from the pain.
Felix: Damnit, I must have dropped an entire carrot in the soup guys, something causes me from stirring the pot.
Everyone that is seated around the table start to laugh at the assumingly joke that Felix had made, the obvious Har laughter from Bill Barnhart takes centre stage as his laughter is the loudest. Felix starts to run the spoon faster and faster around the pot, trying to loosen the piece of “carrot” that supposedly got stuck at the bottom of the pot as Pete attempts to escape the painful pressure that he is feeling against his body. The spoon suddenly stops as Iris has managed to jump on the table, charging in on the pot of soup. This causes the pot of soup to fall over, causing Pete to fall down to the floor with a carrot stuck in his head as he starts to wipe his face off clean.
Vinnie: I guess we better get some take out.
The shot stops as we see a closeup on Pete who lifts his head towards Iris and shows her a thumbs up.
Jayden Harris wants to beat me
The shot returns to the house of the Barnharts where the sound system starts to play I want to Break Free from Queen. The camera enters the room, there we see Bill Barnhart sitting down in an evening gown while wearing a wig with curls in them as Felix Hernandez can be seen with a hat, fake glasses while reading a newspaper from 1984 and a rather old raincoat.
“He got to beat me!!!!... Yeah!!!”
The camera spins around, causing us to see Senor Vinnie using a vacuum cleaner while dressed up as Fredie Mercury wore in the classic Queen clip. He stops as he lets go of the vacuum cleaner in order to work on his wig, readjusting it as his normal hair can be seen peaking down from the back before grabbing hold of the vacuum cleaner again and start to walk around the couch, nearly falling over as he is clearly not used to wear high heels underneath the leather skirt that showcases two of the hairiest legs that would make Bill Barnhart’s hairy chest to shame.
“He got to beat me for the first time to get under his daddy shadow.!! He got to beat me…. Yeah…”
Vinnie arcs his back in an exaggerated fashion before giving a sexy wink to the camera.
“Ugh these heels are killing me.”
He utters underneath his breath, hoping for the microphone broom above his head not to catch it. But realizes that there is another few moments that he needs to continue to perform the alternative version of the classic queen clip. He stumbles over towards the kitchen, where we Cacti Pete standing there, dressed as a catholic school girl while washing the dishes
“He has lost to the team of “Unbreakable” And Vinniee!!!”
“And this time, I know he will lose to meeeee”
“He got to beat meeeee”
The word me becomes a very loud scream as he falls down because of his awkwardly stumbling on the high heels, leaning against the fragile kitchen table, what starts to make noises as we can tell that it cannot withstand his weight for too long as Vinnie leans back and bumps into the kitchen cupboard as he hits the back of his head against it.
“Fuck!!!”
Cacti Pete turns around, looks questionably to his friend who readjusts his wig that has fallen In right in front of his face because of the impact.
“This idea of yours better work somehow Pete, because quite frankly?? I don’t see why I have to degrade myself in order to talk shit about some punk ass kid.”
He whispers underneath his breath while leaning over towards the catholic school girl version of Pete, who drops the dishes into the sink as he hobbles away. Vinnie quickly lifts back up to a horizontal position as he hears the seams in his tight leather skirt starting to make sounds as if it starts to break. Vinnie spins around, trying to hide the fear of a hole in his tight skirt before grabbing a towel and wraps it around his waist. He then walks past the camera while acting as nothing has ever happened before dropping down upont he sofa next to Bill and Felix.
“I never knew you had such a great calves Vinnie…”
Vinnie sighs as he turns his attention towards Bill before shaking his head annoyed.
“Listen Bill, I know you like legs… But seriously… my focus is solely set on making some kid even more desperate.”
Bill scratches his head as he does not understand what that has got to do with his comment.
“What kid??”
This causes Vinnie to raise his arms in the air with an annoyed look on his face, revealing his nicely shaven armpits before dropping his arms across his lap as he starts to run his fingers across the towel
“You know, that pipsqueak that I will be facing this week… Jayden Harris.”
Bill shrugs his shoulders, clearly not caring about what Vinnie is saying as Felix Hernandez looks over the edge of his newspaper
“He is too young to date Vinnie, get it out of your head will you.”
Vinnie rolls his eyes before grabbing something out of his pocket of his tight leather skirt underneath he towel and starts to use a nail file upon his nails while chewing on some imaginary chewing gum.
“Oh Felix, you are such an old prude. Young boys are always so energetic, they think that they can take on the entire world…”
He looks over his shoulder towards Felix and smirks
“Sadly, they tend to waste all of their energy in the first few minutes, God if he only knew how to be a man.”
He says with a wink before turning his attention back to is nail file.
“It’s quite astonishing that having a perk of being someone’s kid can get you so far. I guess he was lucky to have inherited some of the talent of his old man, but let’s be honest.”
He turns his attention to both other men that sit on either side of him.
“Talent alone doesn’t guarantee you the same success as all three of us have garnered throughout our career right??”
Both Bill and Felix nod their heads before the three of them start to mind their business as we see Pete hobble over towards them. There he jumps on a chair on the left of the couch that the three men are seated at and turns on the old fashioned television that someone found for this very special situation. There they watch a pre-recorded video tape of a classic game show, but the quality reveals that the quality of the tape it is nearing its end.
“Oh nice, I love Alf!!!”
Vinnie squeels happily as he drops his nail file inside his tank top, resting between the fabric as Vinnie has clearly forgotten all about it while watching the sitcom Alf.
“You do know that it’s all fake right??”
Sys Bill Barnhart as this causes the two men to start an argue while the shot slowly fades with Pete waving towards the camera before it all turns to black.
Are you upset Jayden??
We cut back to Vinnie, who can be seen sitting on the same sofa as both Bill and Felix have left the vicinity. Vinnie has taken off his wig, running his fingers through his hair as the wig has given him quite an itch.
“Oh finally, I was worried that I had to reshoot that silly thing until nailing it. I guess I am a better actor than I had imagined, nailing it in the first try is an Academy Award winning performance.”
He sighs as he lets his fingers run through his hair for a final moment before grabbing the nail file as he noticed one f his nails had broke.
“I hope you appreciate the effort that I am going through Jayden to let you know that you aren’t close of growing up kid, I guess you haven’t been told by grown up yet. But you totally suck.”
He looks at the camera with a look of distain while wiggling his leg that is crossed across the knee of his other with an annoying look.
“I mean it was picking between two options for me, I could have played the role of Peggy Bundy… or I could have done…”
He looks down at his outfit and rolls his eyes.
“I could do this…”
“And seriously, it was a no brainer. I mean, who would have believed Iris to play the role of Buck?? Have Bill play the role of Al Bundy and stick his hand down his pink tights??”
He makes vomit impressions before turning his attention to use the nail file upon his nails.
“Yuck, the mere thought just grossed me out more than having two old geezers pretend to be diddly dee and diddly doo. But you are lucky Jayden, it has all ended in one take. One!! So I got the remainder of the time left to tell you that you lost kid.”
He looks up underneath his heavy eyebrows as that causes his eyes to be hidden for 20 percent
“Yup, your team had no chance in freaking hell to beat me and “Unbreakable”, but I already know that you will start to run your mouth with excuses of why and how. Because a special specimen like you do not lose right??”
“No, you had an incompetent tag team partner, someone blinded you, you stepped out of bed the wrong way, or hell.. maybe, just maybe you just did not care enough to waste your time and energy against three lesser beings…”
He smirks
“Right?? So tell me Jayden?? What has changed??”
He puts down the nail file and looks into the camera
“I will tell you exactly what has changed, you got a wake up call. A wake up call that made you realized that you got beat.”
“I know, it’s quite a revelation wouldn’t you agree?? It is not the earth shocking truth that would make you say the magical words :”I did not know that..” But that’s the problem kiddo, you are expecting a miracle man.”
Vinnie uncrosses his leg and crosses the over the first one.
“I once preached for miracles, that’s why I know what makes you tick kid. You are still trying to step out of your diapers and get potty trained. That’s what you are instead of being the next coming of the Harris legacy. A legacy that you honestly are putting to shame Jayden. But hey, I guess I could have predicted that you would run to the SCW management and demand a one on one match against me, because that’s whaat simple minded vacuum cleaners like you do don’t you??”
“Yeah, don’t think I have forgotten about that reference Jayden, it was quite a momentous occasion to label you to a household device, a comparison that would have put you on a high note… one that you clearly do not deserve.”
“And before you get another load of steam preparing itself to shoot out of your head through the two hearing pieces that human beings refer to as ears makes me want to warn you to listen. LISTEN!!!”
He uses his hands and places them behind his ears, emphasizing to the word listen even more before smirking.
“Because that was the biggest mistake you made last week, you weren’t listening. All you heard was sounds coming out of my mouth that your peanut sized brain cannot process. I know that this is a difficult word for you, so I will give you a valuable lesson that I will not charge you. But trust me, once the Elimination Chamber comes around I will charge you with interest… making you dig deep inside those seemingly deep pockets that will make you turn your eyes towards “Daddy” and beg in the same unashamed fashion that you are accustomed to do.”
He puts on a pouting lip and coughs a few times.
“Daddy, I know I am a whining bitch… But that bully Vinnie wants me to pay him some extra lunch money… so can I borrow 20.000 bucks???”
He then smirks as he shakes his head
“That’s right Jayden, I am exactly that what you are attempting to be for each and every single wrestler that you somehow have managed to beat. I am the true definition of being a bully to smart assed kids like you, because I love to put you through the ringer what real life is all about. Real life that kids who is being fed with a siler spoon can only experience in their biggest nightmare.”
“And guess what Jayden?? I turned out to be the biggest nightmare that you have ever experienced.. Because you look at me, a touring circus act that shows up every single town to entertain the masses. Well I entertained the masses last week, me and “Unbrakable” entertained the masses upon your expense… And all I had to do is to refer you to a household appliance…”
“Imagine what I could do to you when it all comes down to it Jayden, I will let you know kid… There is going to be one single word that will pop up in everyone’s brain except yours. And that word is embarrassment, because that’s all what your career is going to turn out to be once I squash you underneath my boots and shove you underneath a carpet. Because you aren’t even worth it being cleaned up by a vacuum cleaner”
“And you know why Jayden??”
He smirks as he slowly gets up to his feet, still trying to maintain his balance due to the high heels that he is still wearing. He turns towards the vacuum cleaner that he used prior once he felt secured upon the high heels in order to walk once again.
“You see Jayden, this household appliance is created to clean up the mess that we human beings make. The only problem is, especially with these old first gen versions of these damn things is that they only have a certain amount of garbage that they can process before you need to empty them.”
He lifts an eyebrow.
“Are you catching on with the direction that I am heading at Jayden???”
But he shrugs his head no, causing him to open the vacuum cleaner and grabs the full sack that is inside it and empties it all over the floor.
“You see this Jayden?? This is the average filth that a common house hold creates on a regular basis. And even though for a guy who is used to call for a maid or a butler to wipe his ass, this isn’t as much as the garbage that you represent you self-entitled little prick. Oh no, little Jayden… you are like emission of co2.. The biggest global crisis that has caused continents to create desperation, desperation of how to solve that problem.”
“And the funny part of it all is that compared to many nations, I got no issue removing the world from a catastrophe, a plague that has caused an entire roster to ask themselves how?? How can we remove this threat from our lives??”
He taps to the side of his head
“That’s how you use your brain Jayden, that’s how you take a problem in the palm of either of your hands and just squeeze. To feel the resistance slowly ebbing away as the problem realizes that he is going to meet his maker… To have every fucking memory flash before your eyes. Memories of a still very young life, causing you to second guess yourself whether you have managed to extract everything out of your career… Making you second guess whether you realize that you should change your name from Harris to dipshit.”
He smirks as he pushes the empty sack back into the vacuum cleaner as he turns it around and is about to use it upon the dirt before turning his attention towards the camera.
“Last week I told you that I would only use the exact amount of words to describe you, not to waste my time on rambling on like a typewriter on crack. But this week I decided to enter to the next level of being the great former world heavyweight champion that I am. Because that is what I know will frustrate you even more Jayden.”
“Because frustrated, impotent, braindead little dicks like you can only focus on one thing… You are already prepared for the right words to say, but not realizing that I have already changed the narrative and make you look more and more like Boo The Clown with every single passing second.”
“So why don’t you do us a favour Jayden, put on your big shoes, your red nose and paint that face the same way That granny MacHarris used to do back in the days when they set sail from Good O’ Scotland while the bag pipes play the blues when they realized that the only piece of ass they can nail is a fantasy beast of Loch Ness…”
“I’m going to beat you Jayden, I am going to send you packing towards the next hotel that you will be spending. Making you go back and orchestrate another plan to counter the multiverse that is Senor Vinnie… I am the man that wakes up every single day, calculate a thousand ways of how I can make you look like a joke and entertain myself whether I should give you a shot.”
“Because that’s all you need don’t you?? A shot, a possible way to raise your confidence before I am going to drop my big time fist down your skull, causing you to wake up with the realization that there is NOTHING… and I mean NOTHING that you can do to alter the inevitable that is about to happen… AGAIN!!”
“Hell, I put on an outfit that caused some people to react in a shocked fashion, asking why a talented singer like Freddy Mercury would dress up like a woman. Whereas others understood, whereas others told the world that this man is a once in a lifetime performer. A man that did not care whether people would like it or not, because he had a vision. He knew how to get the crowd applaud along with him during the song We Will Rock You… A man that would cause the world to be amazed with the vocal wonders that only one man could express himself with.”
“A man that caused others to follow their dreams to make it one day, hoping that they would have just a percent of his talent. And then there are those few that believe that they are the second coming of God… Individuals that believe that they are the greatest of all time… And I know that you have put yourself on an even higher level in compared to a man that cannot be touched.”
“But I am going to end this rant on a positive note Jayden, because I don’t want you to run back to bed with tears running down your face while screaming that I am a bad man. Because I want to thank you”
“I am thanking you for letting me know that there is one less individual that I have to worry about once that Elimination Chamber Match is about to happen. I am thanking you for proving a point that there is hope for the future for this company. But sadly for you is that I need to look past this coming Climax Control.. Hoping that my next confrontation will make me want to rub my hands in excitement, causing sweat of anticipation to pour down my face once that pod opens up and I have to look into the eyes of two or more individuals that will await my arrival to perform to the highest level.”
“A level that you can only dream about, a level that you will cause you to wake up late at night while sweat all over… Realizing that none of the entire Harris legacy could even come close to.”
Vinnie pushes the vacuum cleaner away from him as he places his hands upon his hips as the towel drops from his hips and shows the leather skirt. He suddenly motions to the camera.
“My eyes are up here kids, don’t disrespect me because as I am just a piece of ass.”
He smirks at the camera before turning back into serious.
“Just do me a favour kid, wake up once I beat you… accept the fact that next time that you lose it is because of YOU not beign good enough to beat a man that has done and seen it all…. A man that lives for educating jokes like you before sending them back to the minor leagues where you are a big fish in a tiny glass of water with lice. “
His hands instinctively begins to turn to fists as the seriousness start to grow.
“You are going to look at this and tell the world that I am an idiot, but you are the idiot as I made you see what I wanted you to see and ignore the warnings that I give you. So do me a favour, give up, go back to fight kids like Justin Smith while I want to achieve something big… Something that does not contain Jayden… Harris… Adios dipshit.”
With that Vinnie palms the camera with his hand as the shot fades.
