Miss Manners: “I was out the other evening, having a small but intimate dinner party with some friends of mine. And before any of you uncivilized heathens make any inappropriate jokes, allow me to clarify. Yes. I have friends.”
“But trust me when I tell you that it is not always easy being a social pariah when it comes to common decency and good manners. When you see the devolvement of the social standing of the world around you - at least in this country - and feel the need to do whatever you can do or say to try and bring everyone up around your level? You find yourself being something of an easy target. You point out that someone has spinach in their teeth or lipstick, and they call you rude for embarrassing them. You point out that someone should not have taken the last piece of food on a shared platter or that your child should have respectfully greeted every adult in a social gathering - even if they didn’t know them, and you’re immediately the bad guy.”
“Let me give you something of an example. One of the ladies I had dinner with, did not bother to respond to my invitation with an RSVP. She just showed up. Rude, right? Only she did not seem to think so. It was five ladies, aside from myself. I was the mastermind, so to speak, of this little outing and I had sent out the invitations a full two weeks beforehand. All the better to ensure these five ladies would be able to make proper arrangements with work and their families. Four of the five ladies managed to do so and in wonderful timing. One, did not.”
“I simply assumed she would be unable to make it or was busy. Perhaps it even slipped her mind. But no, in she walked, all smiles and wearing perhaps the single most garish hat I’ve ever seen on a woman’s head. And the way she kept putting her hand on her head, drawing attention to that hat - well, it practically made me roll my eyes. It was as if she was trying to get us to comment, or more likely compliment her, on her choice of headwear. But trust me when I tell you that it was the silliest looking hat with feathers and pearls… I thought I had fallen into the 1950s when women were more likely to wear those sort of things, and not keep them on when indoors.”
*****
Miss Manners: “Dolores, I’m surprised to see you here!”
Dolores: “Surprised? **chuckles** Why?”
Miss Manners: “Well, you never responded to the invitation. I just assumed that you weren’t going to attend.”
Dolores: **scoffs* “Oh, who bothers to send RSVPs these days? It’s not as if we’re at a wedding.”
*****
Miss Manners: “Who indeed? People who have a little something called respect, that’s who. She had no excuses, no reasons. She just didn’t bother and believed that it was perfectly alright. As if that was not rude enough, she leaves me with the costly decision of ‘possibly’ ending this friendship and making an effort to fill her vacancy in our little group. But that’s a decision for another day.”
“I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised when Sin City Wrestling contacted me about having a match this weekend in California against a certain returning Bombshell. I wondered who it might be, whether a legend such as Roxi Johnson or someone who fancied themselves a legend like Jessie Salco. But color me surprised when instead I find myself opposing the woman who simply goes by Candy.”
“So… what? Just ‘Candy’? No surname? No prefix like Miss or Lady? Young lady, who exactly do you think you are? Cher? Beyoncé? Madonna? Because sweetheart, with all due respect, you are not on the level of social or celebrity standing of any of those women. So if you are smart Candy, and after watching many of your video montages here in SCW, that is a dubious assumption at best, you would do well to fix this little social faux pas. Even if it’s just the use of your last name – does anyone even KNOW what your last name is???”
“My point is dear, is that the use of just a single name is clearly your meager attempt to elevate yourself above your station. You did indeed hold the Roulette Championship for a respectable amount of time, and I will commend you for that. But look at women at the very pinnacle of our sport like Andrea Hernandez and Kayla Richards. You don’t see them only going by their first name and Candy? They are so very much better than you are in every way imaginable.”
“Yet you persist in placing yourself on this undeserved pedestal and expect the world to adore you. Oh… what’s that? You do no such thing? You consider yourself to be kind and modest in all ways? **scoffs** Dear, if you truly believe that, then please allow me to say that the only one that you are following is yourself. Let’s check off the list of obvious signs that someone has an inflated sense of self importance.”
“One. Excessive self-praise. Someone who constantly boasts about themselves. Check. Well I don’t know about boasting because overall you really haven’t accomplished a lot, but you do like to sing your song about the good you do for fans and charities and your pets and Candy? Allow me to point out that if you were truly good of heart, you would not brag about such things. True charity comes from the heart without the need for recognition. And your constant chatter about your petcare and fans is just an attention seeking tactic.”
“Which leads us to sign number two. Intolerance of criticism. Check. You become defensive or dismissive when confronted with feedback, often seeing any criticism as an attack on their character. I can already see your eyes welling up with tears and that bottom lip quivering like a mewling child for everything that I said. I mean, how DARE I call attention to your attention seeking mechanisms! I mean, look at what happened the last time you were active and someone else called you out? I believe it was Fenris? He spoke up about you for what you are and not only did you turn on woman’s greatest weapon - the waterworks - but you also dragged that poor man of yours into the mix and he suffered at the hands of the White Wolf! For shame, Candy! Shaaaaame!”
“And last but not least, sign number three. A constant need for validation. Check and double check! This certainly does fit you, dear. With both your peers as well as the fans of the SCW Universe. Your constant need for positive interactions with both is, well… I suppose sad is the most apt description I can give without facing cancel culture. This is a fact that even you cannot deny. You constantly seek admiration and approval from others to maintain this carefully crafted self image of yours.”
“You Candy are the classic ‘Pick Me’ girl of professional wrestling. And come Sunday? I am going to show the world that you are as fake as those lips of yours.”
