Cactus Pete’s travels
Vinnie: You may ask yourself where have you been Vinnie?? Well, I had to stay at home and wait for Pete to return from his impressive travels. And this week I will share his first steps in a grown up world.
We hear some rumbling from Pete, trying to get Vinnie’s attention as we see Vinnie sit in an lounge chair with a large book in front of him.
Vinnie: Apologies, I meant him and his friend Donkey.
He takes a sip from the glass of water before placing his reading glasses on top of his nose, he scrapes his throat a few times before he starts to read.
Vinnie: It all started at the stable where we keep our donkeys, yes. I am a donkey herder, it is nearly a national treasure in my city as every child loves to ride one.
We see Pete jump around, causing the pot that he is in making a lot of noise on the marble floor.
Vinnie: And Cacti as well, sadly I was so rude interrupted by my amigo here that I was unable to get to the point.
Pete stops jumping and waves a white flag, clearly trying to make peace with Vinnie.
Vinnie: I had to saddle him, I had to adjust the seatbelts in order for him to keep seated in the baby seat that we use for him. I had to add a blanket, merely because he often gets cold feet…
He turns his attention towards the camera with a concerned look on his face
Vinnie: (whisper) Do not tell him that he has got none okay??
The camera nods as Vinnie turns his attention to where he left off.
Vinnie: I handed him his Tabled and some charged Power Banks. Because the desert land of Mexico is far and wide and sadly there aren’t many charging poles that work on sun power.
He takes a sip of water
Vinnie: He took a picture of his mami, you know that Perra called Iris… She is a Bulldog, she eats a lot and shits even more.
Pete can be seen nodding his head before looking at a picture of Iris
Vinnie: And then he went, he used his compass to at least not get distracted. Last time he tried to hitch with a truck was the day that he ended up in Antarctica…
Pete raises his arms
Vinnie: He was meant to get me an ice cream cone from next door, it took me quite some time to get him a one way ticket back to Tijuana, Mexico… plane flights don’t happen every day from Antarctica do not happen every single day.
He sighs.
Vinnie: That’s why he demands to have a blanket with him at all times.
Pete nods his head as he snuggles up with a warm blanket.
Vinnie: I did suggest to take a microwave with him, but when he told me that he had some matches with him I knew he had become a man.
Pete pushes his chest upwards with pride, causing him to cough as he catches a cold
Vinnie: So he rode off into the sunset, he didn’t got far though as his donkey stopped at the nearest Bed and Breakfast named Juanita’s B&B. They had a discount offer of fifty percent off the normal price and Pete has got some back issues.
Vinnie turns a page as he looks at the next few lines that were written before he looks up and takes another sip.
Vinnie: Pete wanted to learned what it would be like to stand upon his own two feet….
He looks at Pete and sighs
Vinnie: I mean stand on his own dirt inside his pot, to take matters in his own two hands as well as me finally getting my bed back for my own. So he ordered the most expensive room, only to call me for me transfer some money as he had forgotten that his payment wouldn’t be due in the next five days. But that was only a small delay
He stops for a moment as he looks with pride to his friend
Vinnie: Pete even made sure that his donkey got some fresh water, some food to eat and a carrot to chew on as a small desert. Pete sure as hell loves his donkey, whose name is Justin.
A moment of silence as Vinnie’s facial expression slowly changes.
Vinnie: But Justin wasn’t satisfied, he got tired of just being Pete’s donkey!!!
Pete nods his head in agreement before lowering it as a tear drops on to the ground inside his pot.
Vinnie: No, Justin wanted to be recognized as a good little donkey. Believing since he ran fifteen feet towards the local rest room to crap in whatever hole he could find!!! Just because he finished off his very first burrito, something that has never repeated either… because the damn animal realized that he preferred to be a Vegetarian.
Pete nods his head aggressive while punching his fist.
Vinnie: Who calls his donkey Justin anyways?? It should be Donkey like that animal that sounded quite like Eddie Murphy, or even Julio or Miquel… Those are true Animal lovers names… Just like Pete is for a cacti.
Vinnie takes a final sip before placing the glass back on the table next to him as he continues to read.
Vinnie: Luckily for Pete that Justin had a sister by the name of Juanita, a true full bred donkey with passion and determination. So all in all I would say that the first steps into manhood was a successful one for the young and brash Pete.
Pete stands up proud, chest forwards and pretending that he is wearing a Super Man cape
Vinnie; And with that here ends the first chapter in the tale of Pete leaving home, exploring the wilderness that is Mexico. Learning the hard lessons that every young adult man has to learn… only to come back to me and live off my pay check once more.
With that Pete nods his head in approval as Vinnie gets up and walks off as that ends the shot
For now.
Just-In case…
We see Vinnie standing in a phone booth, all disguised as he is wearing a rain coat while the sun is shining brightly and no rain is falling. His hand is typing in the number that he wants to call before looking around to see if anyone is watching him while he is listening to the phone ringing on the other end of the line.
Voice: Hello???
Vinnie: Justin??
Voice: Uhm, yes… this is Justin De…
Vinnie: Listen Justin…, I am going to beat you during Climax Control.
Voice: Excuse me? I don’t know who you are talking about. But I am Justin De…
Vinnie interrupts the voice on the other line once more.
Vinnie: You know something Justin?? I don’t like doing promo’s the old fashion way…
Justin: Excuse me??
Vinnie: You know, talking to a camera and act all tranquilo is not my thing hombre. I prefer to direct my attention to the person at hand, so at least I will get to see… or in your case hear his reaction.
Justin: But…,
Vinnie grabs hold of the phone, covering his mouth as he is whispering softly
Vinnie: I am watching you amigo, you should watch out because danger is close at hand.
Justin: Is that you Vinnie??
Vinnie stops, looking around in the phone booth in fear of someone having found him. Only to see that nobody is looking into his direction as he lets out a sigh.
Vinnie: Err…, who wants to know?
Justin: Look Vinnie, I am Justin Decent.. The ring announcer from Sin City Wrestling. I think you got me confused with…
Vinnie: You are a lucky man amigo, just because you know who is targeting you does not mean you are off the hook!!!
Justin Decent: What???
Vinnie: Si senor, I am the master of disguises. I can be the waitress that is serving you a plate of soup, or I could be the taxi driver that picks you up at the airport!!!
Justin sighs on the other end of the line
Justin Decent: Look Vinnie, first of all I always ride with a limo and secondly?? What kind of soup??
Vinnie scratches his chin, clearly he had not thought of that question as he remains silent for a few moments.
Vinnie: I like Chicken soup…
Justin: I like that one too
Vinnie smiles satisfied, believing that he talked himself out of a difficult predicament before turning back into a mean mug and starts to interrogate Justin Decent once more.
Vinnie: So you register yourself under a different name when you go to the hotel huh Mr. Smith??
Justin Decent: I am not…
Vinnie: How dare you to betray all of your fans who stand outside the hotel in the pooring rain, hoping to catch a glimpse of Mr. Smith!! While you do not look anything like him!!
Justin Decent: But…
Vinnie is relentless as he doesn’t stop and clearly isn’t listening to reasoning
Vinnie: For that I am going to beat you Decent!! Err Smith!! Err.. whatever!! I am going to rock your boat, I am going to school you into moves that you have never seen before!!
Justin Decent: Vinnie look, this was fun. But I really have to hang up now.
Vinnie: SURE!! Just hide in whatever shithole you can find Smith!! I will catch you anyways when we meet in the ring… I will make sure that you will see double!!
Justin Decent: Look Vinnie, Justin Smith is a wrestler… I am an announcer… You cannot harm me in any way or else you get suspended.
Vinnie gets all worked up as he is about to shout, but ultimately rebounds and whispers
Vinnie: Are you threatening me?? I will find a way hombre, I will find a way!!!!
Vinnie hears a click as the connection gets broken, he stands there with a puzzled look on his face.
Vinnie: I guess it was Justin Decent, I must have rang the wrong number.
He shrugs before hanging up, only to turn around and stare into the camera.
Vinnie: Hola, welcome to the first class of how to get under the skin of your opponent. You see Mr. smith is under the assumption that I am an idiot, that I am considering attacking a ring announcer instead of dropping him. Well he is wrong, because I have studied his every move and his every word ever spoken. And let me tell you, they all look and sound the same!!!
He takes off his rain coat and drops it on the floor as he flexes his muscles.
Vinnie: Look at me, I mean seriously… just look at me, I am the former World and Internet champion of this company. I have done more in one night than this guy is still waiting to accomplish inside the ring throughout his entire career. I mean seriously, this perro is hoping for a second victory in row, well I am looking forwards to trim my beard and get my nails done tonight by my favourite Chica Penelope.
He winks as he smiles.
Vinnie: But don’t worry Justin, I will be ready to be ready on time to kick your Culo. You do know that this is Spanish for ass right?? Something that we Latino’s know a few things about as it is in our heritage that we got the best of asses. Therefore we all know a thing or two of kicking it, slapping it and well anything else that your dirty mind can imagine amigo.
He shakes his head.
Vinnie: I have been waiting, waiting for my amigo to return so that I could leave my house and perform once more. I am going to kick you, I am going to suplex you and si amigo. I am even going to beat you in hand clap, traditional Irish folklore dancing and bag pipe playing like the Scottish do. And you look at me, I am not even from the UK!!!
Vinnie flexes his muscles.
Vinnie: I am a Mariachi in heart, that means that I have studied the fine art of letting your fingers do the talking while playing the guitar. I have learned to hit an emotional note while singing and that is exactly what I am going to do to you. I am going to use my fingers to work over you and hit an emotional note when I crush you. Yes amigo, I am going to out wrestle you like I did when I out thought former world champion Austin James Mercer. Because I am Vinnie… and you are not…. Smith….
With that Vinnie grabs the raincoat before turning his attention back towards the camera.
Vinnie: Just know that you will get smashed by Vinnie….
With that the shot fades.
