Author Topic: Look inside yourself  (Read 2417 times)

Offline Alexandra Calaway

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Look inside yourself
« on: October 11, 2024, 09:22:52 PM »
Post Violent Conduct
Hyde Park Hilton Hotel
London, England


The hotel room door clicks shut behind Alexandra and LJ, the faint sounds of the city drifting in through the cracked window. The energy from earlier, the chaos of the backstage medics and worried looks, is replaced by a heavy, quiet ache. Not just physical pain, though both of them are feeling it. The sting of the losses still sits with them, a tangible weight neither can ignore. LJ, still bandaged from the cut on his head, eases himself down onto the edge of the bed with a low groan. His body feels like it's been through a war—and in some ways, it has. Alexandra watches him, her own body bruised and sore, but her concern is for him, not herself. She moves slowly, coming to sit beside him on the bed. They sit in silence for a moment, letting the quiet fill the space. No words can truly fix the night, but the presence of each other does enough to soothe the immediate sting.

“Hell of a night,” LJ mutters, rubbing his hands over his face. The exhaustion is in his voice, but there’s no bitterness. Just the sharp reality of how hard they fought—and how close they came.

Alexandra nods, her arms resting on her knees as she leans forward slightly, the weariness in her body mirrored in her eyes. “Yeah… It was. Even harder to watch you and Carter going at it. But it was just business.” She turns her head slightly, her gaze softening as she looks at him. “But you went toe-to-toe with one of the best out there tonight. You didn’t just fight… you damn near won.”

LJ lets out a breath, nodding. “Yeah, well, ‘damn near’ isn’t winning though, is it?” His voice isn’t sharp, just tired. He shakes his head slightly, leaning back, his hands resting behind him on the bed for support. “And then there’s Carter…”

Alexandra watches him closely. She knows how much tonight meant to him—not just the match, but facing Carter, his brother’s husband. That wasn’t just business out there. There was family on the line, even if unspoken. And the thought of falling short, even for a second, weighs heavy.

“It’s gotta be weird,” she says quietly, her tone softer than before. “Facing someone like him… someone you actually care about. It’s different, isn’t it? I understand what that’s like, I had to face Miles, but that was before the friendship. Honestly, I feel like that’s what started it. Miles and I’s friendship I mean. It’s never easy and it will never get easier. As your relationship with your brother grows and his with Carter, if you have to face either of them again, it’s not going to be easy. But I believe in you. I’ve seen what you are capable of. They’ve all seen it too.”

LJ tilts his head toward her, considering her words. He’s silent for a moment, then nods. “Yeah, it was. I mean, we were tearing each other apart out there, but it’s Carter. It’s family.” He lets out a small, pained chuckle, though there’s no humor in it. “Hurting him... it wasn’t easy. I mean it may have appeared to be easy, but it wasn’t. But he didn’t hold back either. And that’s how it’s gotta be.”

Alexandra reaches out, placing her hand on his arm, a small but grounding gesture. “That’s because you both know what this is. You know what it takes. He wouldn’t want you to hold back, just like you wouldn’t want him to. It’s what we all do, no matter who is across the ring from us. Friend or Foe. There’s respect with some though, a common goal. To be the best. With others not so much.”

LJ leans into her touch, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “Yeah... I know. I agree. But it doesn’t make it any less complicated, does it?”

“No,” she agrees softly. “It doesn’t.” She pauses, her hand lingering on his arm. “But that’s what makes it real. You’re out there, fighting for everything—not just for yourself, but for them too. It’s a dance really. For Miles, for Carter, for the fans. That’s why you can’t ever let up, not even for a second.”

LJ looks at her, and there’s something like gratitude in his tired eyes. “You’re right. It’s always more than just a match.” He shifts slightly, wincing as his ribs protest. “But I’ll tell you something, Alex. Losing tonight… it doesn’t feel like the end. Not even close.”

Alexandra smiles, a tired but genuine smile, the corners of her lips lifting just a little. “Good. Because it’s not. It’s not the end for either of us.We both will bounce back, it’s what we do.” She leans back, her eyes flicking to the window, watching the city lights flicker outside. “We went out there tonight and showed them who we are. And yeah, we didn’t walk away with the win, but you know what? We walked away knowing exactly what we’re capable of.”

LJ nods, his gaze following hers to the window. “We’re far from done, love.”

They sit like that for a few moments longer, the room quiet except for the low hum of the city beyond. The pain from the night would take days to start to wear off—both the physical bruises and the emotional toll of coming so close to victory—is still there. But alongside it is a renewed sense of purpose, of drive.

LJ breaks the silence, his voice soft but firm. “I know we’ll bounce back. It doesn’t matter how many times we get knocked down. You and me, we’re in this for the long haul.”

Alexandra turns her head, her gaze meeting his again. There’s a mutual understanding there—an unspoken bond forged not just in tonight’s battle, but in everything they’ve been through together. “Damn right we are.” She gives his arm a squeeze before finally pulling back, her expression more serious now, but still warm. “Tonight wasn’t about losing, LJ. Tonight was about learning and growing. And next time... next time, we take what’s ours.”

He nods, the fire in his eyes reigniting, but it’s calmer now, more focused. “Yeah. Next time, we will finish what we started.”

Alexandra stands, stretching slightly before wincing at the pull of her sore muscles. She shakes her head, looking over at him with a small smirk. “But for now, maybe we should get some rest. We’re gonna need it.”

LJ lets out a soft laugh, leaning back onto the bed, closing his eyes for a moment as the exhaustion finally catches up. “Yeah... rest sounds good.”

But even as the exhaustion sets in, the fire between them doesn’t dim. They know this isn’t the end of the story—it’s just a chapter. And as they sit there, the aches of the night settling into their bones, they both know that when the time comes, they’ll be ready.

Together.


The truth shall set you free
The Fountain at the Venetian
Las Vegas, Nevada


The Venetian Hotel fountain was always so extravagant, even though Alexandra had been here so many times, she still couldn’t stop being so amazed by it. She sits casually on a fountain wall, her posture and demeanor are relaxed, but her eyes tell a different story—a cold, burning intensity that’s hard to ignore. She leans forward, staring directly into the camera in front of her.

“Cassie Wolfe… I see you’re still licking your wounds after Violent Conduct, trying to make sense of what went wrong. You stepped into that tables match with all the excitement, all the fire, thinking this was your moment. But here’s the thing, Cassie—it wasn’t. You didn’t win, and more importantly, you never stood a chance. Sure I didn’t win either, that could easily be said. But I knew going into this, not to underestimate any of you. I knew that you, Seleana, or Luna could be the one. I knew that all it took was one wrong misstep. And that’s what happened. I have no one to blame for my loss but myself. However, you let your pride cost you that match. You stepped up to someone who even I can’t defeat, thinking you had her number. My dear, you didn’t. Your time is coming, but it is not right now.”

She tilts her head slightly, her smirk sharp as she speaks, her voice filled with purpose.

“You see, Luna may have walked out with the victory, but let’s not forget one simple fact, Cassie: I made sure you didn’t. While you were busy thinking you had what it took, while you were imagining that you’d be the one to get the win, I was the one making sure that dream crumbled right in front of you. You and Seleana both thought you could stand in my way, but I shut that down. And eventually, I’ll get another go at Luna. Eventually I will break her down.”

Alexandra straightens, her tone growing more focused, her words carrying an edge of mockery.

“Let’s talk about it, Cassie. You came into that match full of confidence, but confidence isn’t enough when you’re in the ring with someone like me. I warned you. I told you that I was on the war path of redemption, that nothing was going to stop me from getting back what’s mine. I fell short, it happens to all of us from time to time. You thought you were ready to prove something, to show everyone that you belong at the top. But what happened? You fell short. And it wasn’t me who knocked you out of that contender's shot, it was Luna. I do wish however it had been me. I did say it would be myself and Luna at the end. I guess you just didn’t believe me did you? You didn’t believe me in the slightest and your arrogance got you exactly what I said it did. Out of the chance before you ever really got a shot at it.”

She pauses, the smirk fading as her gaze hardens.

“I’m not here to coddle you. I’m not here to give you credit for trying. You showed fight, sure. I respect that. But you didn’t have enough to push through till the end.. Not even close. And the truth is, you should have known that when you walked into the ring with me, hell with Luna. I told you that this match was about survival, and I meant it. I don’t step into that ring to make friends, and I don’t step into it to hand out compliments. I’m there to dominate, and I did exactly that. I showed each one of you, some for the second and third, hell even fourth time that I will do exactly as I say I will. The only thing I was wrong about was taking my eyes off Luna for a split second. It gave her the opening she needed to take me out.”

Alexandra stands up now, pacing slowly as she talks, her presence filling the room with a palpable intensity.

“You wanted to prove something, Cassie? You wanted to show that you’re ready for the spotlight? Let me tell you what you really proved—you’re not on Luna or I’s level. You’re not ready to be in the ring with someone like me. You’re still learning, still trying to find your footing, we all do that from time to time. Meanwhile I’m out here making sure that anyone who steps in my way knows exactly who they’re dealing with.”

She stops pacing, staring directly into the camera, her voice steady but menacing.

“Do you remember what I said before the match? I told you to be excited, to bring everything you had, and you did. But it wasn’t enough. It was never going to be enough. I don’t care about your potential. I don’t care about the fire you have inside. I care about one thing—reminding people that when they step in the ring with Alexandra Calaway, they’re stepping in with someone who takes what she wants. And Cassie, what I wanted at Violent Conduct was to make sure that you didn’t walk out of that match with your hand raised.”

Her expression darkens, and her voice lowers, filled with cold resolve.

“You didn’t win, Cassie. And you have me to thank for that. Luna may have gotten the final blow, but I’m the reason you were never in a position to win in the first place. And that’s the difference between us—you talk about wanting it, about being fired up. But I’m the one who makes sure things happen. I’m the one who gets it done.”

Alexandra steps closer to the camera, her tone fierce but controlled, radiating confidence.

“So here’s the reality, Cassie. You can keep trying to climb that ladder, keep pushing yourself to prove you belong, but you’re not there yet. Not by a long shot. You’re motivated, sure, but motivation won’t save you when you’re standing across from me. You’re stepping into a world where one loss isn’t just a setback—it’s a reminder of where you stand. And right now? You stand beneath me.”

She crosses her arms, a dangerous smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“I warned you that this wasn’t about second chances for me. This wasn’t just another match. This was about reclaiming what’s mine. And while I might not have taken the victory at Violent Conduct, I did take away your opportunity. I made sure you couldn’t touch that win. And the next time we cross paths, Cassie, I’ll make sure you don’t even get close.”

Her voice drops to a low, menacing tone as she delivers her final line.

“When you’re standing in my way, it doesn’t matter how much heart you have. It doesn’t matter how badly you want it. I will tear through you, just like I did at Violent Conduct, and next time? You won’t even see it coming. You know sweetheart, you better take a good long look sweetheart, ‘cause you are burning a hole through the very thing you can’t WAIT to become.”

The camera zooms in slightly, focusing on Alexandra’s face as she glares into the lens.

“You want to run with the big girls, Cassie? Then get ready. Because the next time you step in my way… I’ll be the one to end you.”

The camera lingers for a moment on her fierce expression before fading to black.


If the truth hurts
Hotel Room at The Venetian
Las Vegas, Nevada


Alexandra Calaway sat on the edge of the hotel bed, her body bruised, aching from the punishment she’d taken two weeks ago, but she pushed through the pain. The adrenaline from the match had long since faded, leaving only the familiar dull pain and frustration. She stared at the floor, her mind replaying every moment of the match, the words she had spoken leading up to it, and the way things had played out. LJ sat across from her, equally worn, his body bandaged, but his focus was on her—sensing her frustration.

“You had them,” LJ said quietly, wincing as he adjusted himself in the chair. “Cassie, Seleana, Luna, I mean. You had them dead to rights.”

Alexandra let out a slow breath, running her hands through her hair, still damp from the shower. "I know. That match... it could have gone so differently. I had them, and then I had to deal with Luna. Tables matches are always unpredictable, but I felt it, LJ. I felt everything slipping away for just a second."

Her voice was steady, but there was an underlying sharpness, a frustration that gnawed at her. It wasn't that she underestimated Cassie, Seleana, or Luna—she never did. But there had been so much riding on this. Every word she said before the match, the fire she had lit under herself—it had been to fuel that path to redemption. But here they were, without that win in their hands.

LJ watched her closely, recognizing the familiar emotions behind her words. "Cassie came in fighting, Angel. You knew she’d be ready, but you didn’t make it easy for her either. You pushed her to the edge. Just as you did Luna."

Alexandra’s lips pressed into a thin line, her jaw clenching slightly. "She’s got fire, I’ll give her that. But fire alone isn’t enough. Not when I’ve spent my entire career walking through it. I’ve faced people like her before, and I’ve come out on top. But... I don’t know." She paused, looking up at him with a sigh. “I kept thinking about what I said, how I brought up that battle royal, how I kept reminding her of her losses. I wanted her to rise up and show me something new, but...”

“And she did,” LJ finished for her, his voice calm, but firm. “She showed you she’s not the same girl from PWS: Apex. She’s been fighting, just like you. You lit a fire under her, love, and she used it. Maybe that’s what makes it sting more.”

Alexandra’s eyes flickered with a mix of acknowledgment and frustration. He was right, of course. She had taunted Cassie, pushed her with the hope of seeing more, of proving that her own redemption path was the stronger one. And Cassie had answered in a way she hadn’t fully expected.

"You're right," she admitted after a beat, her voice quieter now, more reflective. "She’s grown. I see that. But it’s not just about her or the others. It’s about me. I’ve been clawing my way back for months. I thought this was it. I thought tonight would be the one where I reminded everyone—myself—who I am. But it slipped away. And now I’m sitting here, feeling like I’ve got more to prove than ever."

LJ pushed himself up from the chair, despite the discomfort, and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You don’t have anything to prove, angel. Not to me, not to anyone. Everyone in that ring tonight knows what you bring. You’ve been down before, but you always come back stronger."

Alexandra looked up at him, her frustration tempered by the steady presence of her boyfriend. "It’s just... I wanted to show everyone, to show her that I’m still the Alexandra who takes what she wants, who doesn’t settle. And now, after all I said... I couldn’t back it up. I made myself look foolish."

LJ gave her shoulder a light squeeze. "You did back it up. Cassie fought for her life in that ring because of what you said. She didn’t want to let you down. You pushed her, just like you pushed everyone in that match. It wasn’t just about a win—it was about showing what you’re still capable of. You walked into that ring and made them remember why your name is on just about every bill."

Alexandra’s expression softened slightly, her shoulders relaxing as she let his words sink in. She hadn’t thought of it like that. Sure, Cassie had stepped up, but Alexandra had made her do it. Alexandra had forced Cassie, Seleana, and Luna to bring their best. She was still the bar setter. She was still the one they had to overcome.

She let out a breath, the tension slowly fading as she nodded. "Maybe you’re right. I wanted Cassie to show me something, and she did. But it’s not over. I still have a title to chase, and I’m not backing down now."

LJ smiled slightly, stepping back and leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "You never do, Angel."

She turned her head to the side, glancing at the window where the city lights twinkled. “And when I get another chance at the title, it’s only a matter of time—and when I face Cassie, and then whoever stands in my way next—it’ll be different. Tonight might not have been my night, but there’s always tomorrow. There’s always another chance to set things right.” Her voice regained that edge, that determination that defined her. She wasn’t broken, just momentarily set back. The fire in her hadn’t dimmed, not one bit. "And next time," she continued, "whether it’s Cassie, or whoever else, they’ll see the side of me that doesn’t just talk about redemption. They’ll see the side of me that takes it."

LJ’s smile widened. "That’s my angel for you. The woman I’ve come to know and love."

She stood up, rolling her neck and shoulders to ease the tension. “Cassie might believe she has my number, but the when she steps into the ring with me, she won’t be so lucky. I’ll make sure of it.”

As she spoke, the pain from earlier—the bruises, the soreness—faded into the background. What replaced it was focus. Clarity. Purpose.

LJ watched her, nodding approvingly. "You’re not just fighting for redemption Angel. You’re fighting to remind them why they call you the standard. And they’re going to remember. Trust me.”

With one final breath, Alexandra gave a small, confident smile. “Damn right they will. Now I am ready to face her again.”

And in that moment, despite the losses and the pain, Alexandra Calaway was already planning her next move. Because, as always, she wasn’t done. Not even close.