PARADIGM SHIFT XXV // MERCI (FVKT)
OH MERCI….WE’RE NOT FINE, WE’RE FILTH. WE’RE NOT KIND, WE KILL. IT’S NOT AT ALL MERCY – NO MERCY BETWEEN YOU AND ME. IT’S LOUD AS SILENCE, WE VOW FOR VIOLENCE.
DEATH VALLEY HIGH .
••••••
The Hudson River had many chilling tales surrounding it, but as they stood outside its embankments in the cool, frigid air, its rippling tide left nothing but ice on their hearts. It was just barely Autumn, but coats were required already. The Catskill Mountains rose up in dark peaks over the city of Kingston. At the parking lot just a few hundred feet away, a black, Porsche 911 Speedster sat, overlooking the small port. Standing with his eyes on the road was Finn Whelan, his hands shoved in the pockets of his patagonia jacket and his boots rooted firmly into the ground.
His unlikely partner in today’s crime was his ex-wife, whose colorful hair was tied up in a loose bun on top of her head. She had a radio in her hands and was listening on the earpiece inside of her left ear intently, chewing on her lip. And in all honesty, he hadn’t spent as much time with her in the five years since their divorce as he had in the last few weeks. Not that he wanted to either, but she was a useful asset from time to time. At least, since he’d gotten back to being involved in…
…well, whatever he was involved in.
Part of him lately wished that he hadn’t agreed to any of it. Part of him felt like he was right back into square one, doing the same poor behavior that he tried to hard to desperately get away from. He had no choice in the matter, though – if he didn’t, then he may have lost another family member to the world and he’d already lost enough of them. His children. His sister. They were all gone, and he had nothing he could have done in those situations. With this one, it was a decision that he didn’t want, but nevertheless took. He had to protect Dimitri. Even if it was from himself.
Just like he felt like he had to protect everyone.
Everyone in his apartment complex had now been relegated to safety. Cameras. Alarms. Everyone had them, and he wasn’t going to let a single person be injured. He was a damned protector, even if he grit his teeth and did it without really wanting to. He’d been there for Aiden and Kallie, to help provide for them while they struggled to get on their feet. He gave Miles a place to be when he was struggling with his stalker ex-girlfriend. Dickie was an obvious, and even Aaron, who he hated with a passion, he provided support when needed. Kayla? He was actively doing so now, with his teeth grit, as he walked into fires for her just enough in order to ensure she was safe.
Maybe it was because he hadn’t really had a family for so long that he just searched for one and created it from the ashes of his friendships. Maybe it was because he felt alone for so long that having people nearby made life just a bit easier. Or maybe it was simply because he had nothing left and needed that for himself to live.
It could have been anything.
Nevertheless, he turned as Aaron shifted on the ground, the bright red soles of her Louboutin boots visible even in the dark, moonlight. She looked up at him and nodded. “They have him. They’re fifteen minutes out.”
“Good.” Finn replied, sighing slightly. “Fifteen minutes and he’s safe.”
Aaron rose to her feet and then went to stand next to him, peering up at him from her short height. Finn was still abominably tall compared to her. She folded her hands and stared at the road. “I suppose my father really couldn’t say no.”
“No.” Finn shook his head. “Your dad likes to save the weak and powerless. It reminds him of his place in the world, filled with the kind of power only some men dream of. I’ll send him my regards once I’m back in the city.”
Aaron teetered forwards, and then backwards on her heels, like she had always done since she was a kid when she was curious. “...can I ask you something?”
“You already did.”
“Why…this kid?” She tilted her head again and squinted her brown eyes at him. “I know you told my dad of his lineage, but…why does that particularly matter?”
Finn didn’t initially reply. At first, he was questioning himself on the matter…why did this kid’s life matter to him? The Romani were possessive, controlling, and they wouldn’t be happy when one of their own disappeared from beneath their noses. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t have figured out who had taken him, and Finn honestly expected Jace to show up on his doorstep the following day. Of course, if he reached out, Finn wouldn’t have suggested to him to arrive because that could have been considered an attack at this point between the two clans, but honestly. Honestly, he just felt like the kid deserved more.
“Is it because it’s Kayla’s family?”
Again, not a response.
“I mean, I know you have a weird perspective of family, but–”
“We could have once been a family, you know.” He cut across her. “You. Me. Zoey. Kieran. We had everything. A home. A life. Careers. We didn’t want for anything, and then…” He stared out at the street as he spoke, not bothering to look down at her. “And then he came along. And he took everything. The twins. Our happiness. In all that time, I fought for everything. Respect from my own father that never came, my livelihood. Kei had a twisted grip on me and I had to do everything he said because he promised that I would be happy again. I had to fight for us, because you weren’t doing it. You had a beef with my sister, and then we never were the same. And then you decided that I was no longer enough for you, and you slept with someone else, and it destroyed any chance of that ever happening again.”
He turned his head then and looked down at Aaron, who had widened her eyes. It was the most he’d talked to her in years, all in one go.
“So yes, Aaron, I have a very skewed perspective of family. I had to create one because the one that I had dissolved into absolute trash. Forgive me for trying to repair one when I can’t fix my own.”
Aaron looked at the ground then, blowing out of her nose slowly and exhaling. She bit her lip and then turned her head. “It’s not that you weren’t enough, it’s just that I–”
“I don’t want to hear an excuse. We’re barely coworkers, and hardly acquaintances now. What’s gone is gone and I’ve very much moved on.”
She paused again. Finn took his hand out of his pocket, looking at the phone he had clutched in it. It was a picture of Kayla on the front screen. She looked at it, and then up at him again, slowly.
“Do you love her?”
Finn rolled his eyes and exhaled out of his nose as well, shoving his hand back into his pocket. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because she’s kind of a cunt and I just-”
“You’re kind of a cunt.”
“...touche.”
Finn nodded and then inhaled slowly and exhaled as well. “Yes. I do love her, Aaron. She understands me, and it’s not about touchy-feely bullshit. I don’t feel like I have to be someone else like I do around virtually everyone that is near me. Aiden and Kallie don’t get my silence, Dickie doesn’t get my introversion. The fans and the company don’t understand what it takes from me to be who I am, and the one person that I don’t have to be a fucking fraud with is Kayla. She doesn’t ask for anything more from me than who I am and what I am.”
Aaron peered at him again, and then slowly nodded. She still knew him, regardless of their separation, and most of the time, that annoyed Finn. It certainly did at this moment. “But you’re afraid she’s going to discover who you really are, and she’ll want to leave too.”
Finn continued to stare at the road. Headlights were arriving from the distance, ones that appeared to be attached to an Army Jeep. He took a few steps forward, heading towards the stairs that would lead him not only back to his car, but to pick up the kid and escape from where he was now.
“Yes.”
••••••
I know. It gets super boring having to watch us time and time again do the same thing. In fact, I would even hazard to say that it’s not just simply boring – it’s deafening. If you’re one of those people who sits down at the end of the day and goes through it, trying to figure out how to best karma-fy your life based on the actions of the day and how to better yourself in the future as a competitor, you might actually sit there and hear nothing but silence. Or white noise. Because eventually, the more you try to sit and put us into a box, the more we push out, show out, and do what we’re supposed to do.
I’m well aware that Miles Kasey has no fucking clue what to do now. Four times we’ve faced, three of them with his friendo…and except for that one moment in time in which he was able to capitalize, I have been dominant in this company. And I know that’s frustrating. We all expect monoliths to crumble. We all expect empires to fall. We all expect that eventually, a person will stop being the pillar that they have been, holding fast to the reins of the company. I feel bad for Miles – I do, but me feeling bad for my Wolfslair packmate doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do everything in my power to persevere and thrive. We all have our own careers, our own desires, our own dreams…and I am unapologetic in my quest to create a legacy only seen by a few in this place.
So what’s next? Finn, they said, you’re going to be in singles action next week in Stockholm. Finn, you’re going to be facing another member of the roster that you know. What they didn’t say, and what I think they’re attempting to see, is that they’re placing me against members of my pack. Hell, even members of my own home. The dirt sheets ask, “What will Finn Whelan do in the wake of facing not only his team members, but his friends?”
When the job needs to be done, I don’t have friends.
I’ll speak on Aiden in a moment, but I want to bring it back to what’s been happening. You know, it’s not only The Conspiracy that has noted the favoritism in this company. The blatant continued shots for things that weren’t earned steadily, the opportunities handed again and again and again…claiming a challenge is through someone like Bill Barnhart when it should be the champions that rule this company. These Proving Ground series…for a chance at my championship.
I see through it.
I want you to know it. I see the opponents these people have been given, I see the set up, I see the punchline, I see what awaits in store for me. One is provided an opponent that can contest, and the other given a waste of space. One has to fight harder than the other. It’s disappointing. If this was a true proving ground, each contestant should have had to face our Roulette and Internet Champions respectively in non-title matches to prove that they’re ready to face me.
It’s just so sad that everyone has their own agendas that they’ve tried to create everything to be around. They’ve lost sight of what wrestling is meant to be about: the gold, and the story that arises within it. It should be about rising to the top, it should be about the things that matter in this business. But that’s not what we do, and maybe I should also be thankful for that.
Listen, we’re all selfish beings filled with an ego that is so high on the richter scale that we cause our own earthquakes. Every single one of us thinks that our steps are so clamorous and deafening that we have created some sort of wave of change and fear in the world, when the reality is simple: the fans have created their own heroes and villains, and the only thing that truly matters is gold.
So when you sit there and wonder why Sin City’s Heavyweight Championship isn’t main eventing? It’s because we’re constantly building tournaments around it instead of stabilizing into one true contender. We’re watching as it’s been relegated down to one-hit wonders and outside contenders. We’re watching as proved that I deserved it and it wasn’t a fluke when I defeated Goth, but then had Sausage Fest or whatever the fuck his name in a multi-person random ass match where no one deserved it…and then watched as the Blast From the Past winner QQ’d and didn’t give his all while a dipshit used a briefcase and thought it was going to work against me.
I get that too.
Nothing except that initial moment where Goth and I tore the building apart to win this championship has been breathtaking and aweinspiring, and so I can understand where I might be considered boring. But how am I supposed to, in good faith, create a clamor when contenders are so shoddily built for me?
There’s no drive behind it. No…passion. I’m simply doing my work and I’m doing it well. The most pre-match things I’ve done is back and forth with a woman who might actually have some rocks impeding some brain function. My own opponents and my own division? Can’t be assed to comment when they have a match.
It’s doing the legwork without any of the weight, and let me tell you…that doesn’t build gains in the gym, and it doesn’t build drama and hype.
It’s disappointing.
The state of things, you know? Someone might call this a bitter tirade, because you have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. But maybe it’s because I wish, on the wrestling gods, that I didn’t have to accept less than what I’m worth. And so…
I won’t.
No longer is this the Finn who won this championship with everything in me. No longer am I simply fighting. No longer am I doing this because of the love of the fight. I am done. No mercy.
And who better to start this off with than my own housemate turned opponent this week?
Sorry Aiden.
It’s gonna be a repeat of twenty-eighteen.
••••••
Getting the kid back into the city only took a couple of hours. Kingston wasn’t too far away, but it was primarily driving in the New York City proper. He’d made sure he wasn’t followed by anyone, and by the time they’d gotten into the city, Finn had learned quite a bit about the kid who he’d orchestrated not only a rescue, but what he supposed could also be kidnapping at the end of the day.
Not that the kid wasn’t a willing participant.
His name was Lucas, but most of the clan called him Luca. He was almost ten years of age, and he was slowly learning about the world outside of the compound. He was intelligent, and when he was allowed to go to the neighborhood schools, they’d tested him and he’d come out within the top ninety-fifth percentile. His mother had been stricken from the history of the Romani compound, and was only talked about with poor words. He spoke with a maturity that Finn didn’t see from most kids his age, and he thought that was probably because he was around only other Romani kids and the adults. And they were all extremely weird, in Finn’s opinion.
After he’d parked the car, Finn looked at the time and noted that he hadn’t eaten in over four hours. He checked his phone once more to check and see if Kayla had returned back. She hadn’t yet, stating that she was still with her sister Amber at her house. He texted quickly for them to start heading back to the house and he got a “Whatever” response followed by a heart.
“A problem?” Luca asked as he stepped out of the vehicle, looking at it with the wide eyes he’d had before. He’d never seen such a vehicle, nor the opulence of the building in which Finn drove his car beneath into the underground garage.
“Not really,” Finn replied, and looked at him. “Let’s get food, shall we?”
“Food” turned out to be the McDonalds that was just a couple of blocks away because Finn didn’t feel like cooking food and having questions asked. Always observant of their surroundings, he swung into a seat with their back to the corner of the chain and his eyes searching the open floor plan, noting that Luca was at least blocked by a small wall. It was remarkably clean in here. Luckily, Luca looked similar to Finn in appearance – black hair, bright hazel eyes. No one would have suspected the kid wasn’t even remotely related to, nor that he’d been kidnapped.
The older of the two pulled up the app on his phone and selected a couple of items. “What do you want, kid?”
“Do they have saviako?”
Finn’s eyes slowly lifted from the screen to the Romani kid in front of him, who despite looking like him, actually did look out of place in his jeans and buttoned shirt. “What the fuck is that?”
Hey, we never said he was a great role model, okay?
“Um…it has noodles and cottage cheese and it’s put in the oven…”
Finn’s eyes narrowed as his insides turned with disdain for the food being described to him. “...how about a cheeseburger and some fries?”
“Okay!” He seemed happy to try something new. In fact, he didn’t seem plussed about having been taken from his home in the middle of the night. Luca seemed quite pleased to be sitting in this McDonalds at eleven o’clock at night with a man that he barely knew.
Now he understood why Dickie was so upset when this initially came up.
He ordered a cheeseburger meal and pushed the order through on the app. They would, of course, ultimately have to wait, but that didn’t seem a problem right now. Finn leaned back in his seat, peering at the kid who eagerly rested both his hands upon the table and looked at Finn. “You have questions, don’t you? I don’t mind you asking…but can I guess first what it is?”
“Sure.” Finn nodded.
“You want to know how I knew who you were.” When Finn nodded slightly, he nodded too and folded his hands at the table. “So, I grew up knowing that my mother wasn’t part of the compound anymore, and that she was alive, but no one had been able to find her. It was like she was kind of the unspoken person, her and her sister. They were called tradare, and they had betrayed us. But I…I haven’t ever really felt like the rest of them, ya know? I’ve seen pictures of my mom and her sister. I knew what they looked like but never thought I’d see them, since they were you know…”
“Tradare.”
“Yeah! So I…well, I happened to be in the city near the compound and saw a rerun of the show that you’re on. We don’t really get a lot of television, we’re not really supposed to engage in the real world. We kind of figure out how to manipulate around it, but anyway…I saw her. The same girl in the photographs, and I saw you. I was certain of it. And then Jace started talking more about her, and I learned her name was Kayla. He’s been super jealous of her, I think.”
Their food arrived and Luca looked at the food in front of him with wide eyes. He’d clearly never seen a flat ass cheeseburger from McDonalds before. Finn momentarily plugged into his head to research if the Romani were like the Amish.
“And when I saw you at the compound,” the kid continued, opening the wrapper and taking a bite. “I waz lahke, ish im!” He swallowed. “So I confronted you and you looked very confused when you saw me.”
“I…was. But then I saw a picture of you when you were a kid and your mom…and put together the pieces.”
“I’ve been stuck there forever…” He looked a bit upset, but then shrugged. “But now I’m not. Am I going to see my mom soon?”
“Listen, kid…” Finn put down his own quarter pounder as he spoke. “Your mom doesn’t even know I have you. She’s going to be in a state of shock, and I don’t think she’s going to figure out who you are quickly. So…I still have to tell her. And I’m not sure quite how I’m going to do that yet.”
“But…” he looked upset now, and Finn supposed he had a right to be. “I thought…”
“This has been a quick rollercoaster ride, and now that I have you, you might be staying with me longer than you expect. I mean, I want you with your mom, but–”
“I don’t want to go back if she doesn’t want me around!” Luca nearly burst into tears, and Finn cringed slightly. “Please don’t send me back. I hate it there. It’s not the life I want to have, I don’t want to be like Jace!”
Finn sighed…and then he shook his head. “Listen, you’re not going to go back…but I just need you to be pre–”
And then…the worst possible thing happened. Or at least, he thought it might have been the worst possible thing. So focused he’d been on Luca that he hadn’t realized that two people had entered the restaurant. It wasn’t anyone particularly on the bad side of things, but everything that he was hoping to transpire at the house was now about to transpire here.
Kayla and Amber walked in the door.
Kayla saw Finn immediately, tilted her head, and didn’t notice the kid behind the wall. She walked towards him, followed by Amber. He didn’t notice until she was nearly on top of them. “You went to get food without me?” She chided goodnaturedly, and laughed slightly. “How dare you–” And then her eyes caught sight of Luca. Her brow furrowed.
But it was Amber’s gasp that opened up about ten different worlds.
••••••
This isn’t the first time Aiden and I have met in the ring. Once upon a time, in a long…redacted…far away company, we once had the opportunity to square off. I’m not quite sure if Aiden remembers that, because it’s been a long, long time and we all know that his cognitive faculties are not high in the short term memory processing area. Nevertheless, as I dug in the annals of my library, it brought to mind the man that I stood across then…versus the one I see now.
Come along with me down memory road, will you?
Twenty-eighteen was when you burst onto the American scene, disappearing from the ranks of Japan and coming here. Disillusioned, but nevertheless a fighter with who laughed about everything in the face of danger. Alex Jones brought you into Wolfslair, tried to rehabilitate you, and you stepped into the same company as I did, looking to not only make a name for yourself, but breakthrough your own troubles. We didn’t know your life story, we didn’t know who you were…but in one of your brightest moments in the world, you won. Again and again, your positive outlook and your jokes made you a sight for sore eyes and you capitalized. Again. And again.
You defeated the company’s former champion. And I celebrated you in the same time that I tore you into shreds.
As we all made an exodus from that company, you went into another…and another, searching for respect and longevity. None was provided – not until you created a camaraderie with my own little shithead of a brother. You and he created the strangest fucking friendship I have ever seen and since then, the two of you have been tied to each other like giggling school girls.
You won championships together, and when he excelled in the singles division, everyone just tended to call you his sidekick. But I knew better. I know better. You’re a vicious competitor of your own, and you proved it time and time again…but I know how it is. You’ve come back to wrestling and you have that goofy ass attitude because you just want to have a good time and get into some fights…
…except that’s complete bullshit and we both know it, right?
Dickie once told me that you were the type of man who hid behind a laughing face and a bunch of jokes, and really, reality was just something that made you nervous. You’ve felt the sting of the ultimate failure of your life – perhaps it was love, or maybe it was in your career – and that has made your initiative become a lackadaisical movement. You want to push for the heavens, but only just enough that you won’t feel like a complete and utter failure for your wife and son when you fail. You want greatness, but just enough that you’ll be praised for your minimal success.
You are a walking catch-twenty-two and you don’t even realize it.
I told you a long time ago that you’re going to want to exude more confidence than what you used to. A long time ago, you gave me some respectful song and dance, and I told you then that your respect wasn’t going to stop me from ripping out your throat. I told you six years ago that I was going to fight, snarl and bite until you were dead on the ground…and then would I only show mercy.
But that Finn is a different Finn. So very different than the Finn of today.
I am still the measuring stick, Aiden. I am still the one person that you have yet to conquer, and you are still not prepared to face me.
No mercy, Aiden.
None.
I know you live in my apartment, and I know I’ve given you and your wife a home and this and that and you’re semi-family and maybe I should be kinder. But you know what frustrates me in every single moment that I’ve seen you in this company?
You care more about getting cheap joking pops in than actually focusing and not second-fucking-guessing yourself. Take Eddie Lyons – you sold him as a possible World Champion, gave your props to me, and then literally sold him in a solid fight against you. Every match you say you’re doing your best and pushing yourself to the limit, but you don’t tell us why you’re going to absolutely annihilate everyone. You’re unsure, like you always have been. Mate, lemme talk to ya man to man…you can’t like everyone, and you can’t have good things to say constantly about anyone you meet.
You have success in the palm of your hand and you need to fucking snatch it from here on out if you’re ever going to make it in Sin City. Fight for it. I don’t want to see some unsure dickhead across from me, afraid to even remotely kick my ass – I want to see someone who has fire and adrenaline in them. I want someone that’s going to do the exact same thing and show no fucking mercy.
Can you do that?
Can you capitalize on that?
Can you erase our ties in that ring and fight me like a goddamned Australian rather than a half-neutered man who only does as much as he feels like in the day? Make a couple jokes, lay down on the ground and just let me pin you because who the fuck cares?
I can.
And I will.
We’re friends, Aiden. But that doesn’t mean I won’t destroy you. Believe me…you are going to need to muster up every part of being prepared for me like you’ve been prepared for everything else…because I am nothing like anyone else.
We will have a repeat of twenty-eighteen, Aiden…and at the end, I will shake your hand and we’ll continue on as we have. But you will have the startling reminder every so often that we’ve all figured you out. Listen to me…
Sometimes failure is what makes us grow.
And maybe…just maybe…you need to grow.
