Miss Manners: “If there is a single universal truth to be believed about We as Americans and this once proud Nation we call home, it is the fact that we have an overwhelming sense of self. A patriotic superiority complex if you will. No matter what we do, no matter where we are nor who we are with, in our minds? We are always right and anyone who does not call America home is always wrong. And the worst part about this self-confidence we have as a nation is that we take it to foreign countries and expect them to cater to us.”
“Simply because of who we believe ourselves to be.”
McDonald's - India
Tourist: “What the hell is this I said I wanted a Big Mac!”
Employee: “Is there a problem?”
Tourist: “Uh, duh! Yes there is a problem! I ordered a Big Mac and your idiot employee gave me this!”
The tourists waved at the tray that was on the counter in front of them, showing their complete order of a large diet Coke, an order of fries and a Big Mac but one that was made of chicken. Not beef.
Employee: “Sir, I'm afraid I don't understand what the issue is. This is a Big Mac.”
The tourist all but rolled his eyes.
Tourist: “Oh my god, you people are so stupid! This is not a Big Mac! This is…well I don't know what this is! A Big Mac it's made with hamburger! Beef! Beeeef!”
By now the little rampage from the entitled tourist has drawn much attention as heads all over the fast food place have turned towards the source of the free entertainment.
Employee: “Sir, this is India.”
Tourist: “I know where I am! I'm not stupid!”
Employee: “I never said you were. But in India, we do not serve beef. Cows are sacred here.”
The tourist stared at the employee as if he had a second head sprouting from his shoulder. It was only then that he felt the eyes on him and he turned his head and found everyone present simply staring at him. Some with a degree of hostility.
Tourist: “What are you all looking at!?”
The tourist turned back to face the employee behind the counter. With a haughty sense of self-righteousness, he stuck his nose in the air and cleared his throat with a ‘harumph’.
Tourist: “Well in America, we know how to make a Big Mac! And we don't waste our time catering to locals!”
That being said, the American tourist turned his nose up at everyone and marched out.
Miss Manners: “Which, of course, is a complete fabrication. If there is anything Americans are good at, it's catering to themselves. Much to the point that when we go to another country, we expect that country to cater to us as well.”
Tourist: “English!”
Beijing, China -
Beijing Capital International Airport
The American tourist, the prototypical Karen with the bleach blonde, swept hairdo, pink tank top, white shorts and high tops, with a coffee in one hand and her handbag slung over her opposite shoulder, was accosting one of the airport employees at a security checkpoint. Merely because the employee was not allowing her to pass security carrying the large bottle of perfume in her bag.
Tourist: “This is absolutely ridiculous! How can you not understand me!? Why don't you learn English!?”
The airport employee was getting annoyed, and this statement only double down on his mental state as how could anybody say such a thing? How could you go to a foreign country and expect THEM to speak YOUR language?
Tourist: “Maybe you people should go back to where you come from!”
Miss Manners: “Is it really any wonder why so many other countries dislike us? Here we are in the Jewel of the world, France nonetheless, who we have epitomized as being an arrogant country when really they pale by comparison to our own sense of self-worth.”
“I can recall a few years ago during the pandemic, when travel was restricted or outright forbidden into other countries, but did Americans care? Some yes, others not so much. There were stories of smug, self delusional fools who actually hopped on their boats in the Northern states and transverse across the Great Lakes and snuck into Canada for a little vacation. And they turned off their electronic devices on board so as not to be tracked by the Coast Guard or any authority. And why? Because they knew what they were doing was wrong but they simply did not care. They would arrive at the docks of small shops and just waltz right in with no small amount of pride, no masks or social distancing. And when confronted…?”
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Tourist: “You know what!? I wish America had invaded Canada and taken over! Then maybe you Canadians wouldn’t be so smug!”
Clerk: “Actually, sir, America did attempt to invade Canada. In 1775 and the Revolutionary War in 1812. We won both times.”
The tourist’s face turned red at the very idea that not only did the clerk have the gall to try ands tell he and his family they had to wear masks, but that Canada bested the American army more than once???
Tourist: “Well, I’m not so sure about that! I may have to check in…”
Clerk: “You are free to check in, but do so in your own country. Because my coworker just took down the details of your boat outside and we will be contacting the authorities!”
Tourist: “Y-you… you can’t… F**K YOU!”
And the tourist turned on his heel and quickly ushered his family out the doors. Only then did the clerk look to his coworker and give the nod for her to call the authorities about the Americans who had illegally crossed over into Canada.
Niksen Coffee Shop - Arras, Northern France
France remains one of the single most sought after tourist destinations, ranking amongst the highest out of all the countries named. The very beauty of the nation, along with the people and everything there was to be offered, no matter which town or what province. Hence, the arrival of Sin City Wrestling to commemorate the Battle of Vimy Ridge was something that had many eager to celebrate. The SCW Universe itself was hungry for the type of wrestling action that the SCW Superstars and Bombshells had to offer, while the men and women of SCW were given the opportunity to visit a new country on its 2024 Battlegrounds tour. A country many never would have had the chance to visit otherwise.
And while some men and women of SCW were visiting the sites in and around the closest city to Vimy Ridge, which in this case would be Arras, others were taking the time to simply relax and soak up some local atmosphere.
One of those people being SCW’s very own “Paragon of Virtue, “ Miss Manners. We find Miss Manners in the aforementioned coffee shop, a popular destination for tourist and local alike. Having arrived early enough in the day so as to get a prominent table in the courtyard by the streets, Miss Manners sat in the comfortable chair beneath the umbrella to better shield herself from the warm sun. She waited patiently until a young man in a crisp, starched shirt and black tie with matching slacks, arrived at her table with a tray in hand.
Waiter: “Votre café madame.”
He said as he set down the popular chocolat latte and a fresh biscotti before her. Miss Manners smiled tightly at the handsome young Frenchman.
Miss Manners: “Merci beaucoup.”
The young waiter smiled and excused himself, returning to work as Miss Manners picked up her latte and sipped carefully at the hot drink.
Miss Manners: “Yes indeed, I spoke French. I am not fluent by any means but after all, when in a foreign country, whether for business or pleasure, you take the initiative to learn at least a bit of the language so you are not flapping about like some fish out of water. It would otherwise be quite foolish to travel to such a jewel of a nation, expecting the citizens to speak my language for my own ease. I know that many American tourists do just that, but I am certain you can agree that I am not your typical American tourist.”
“I am, however, quite grateful for this opportunity. Well, opportunities. I have never had the pleasure to come to France, be it for business or pleasure, but thanks to this tour honoring the greatest battle sites in history, I have been given this dream of a lifetime. And unlike many, I have not squandered it. I have taken this once in a lifetime opportunity to enjoy not just the ambience of France, but it’s culture and history as well.”
“Like many of my peers in the ring, I too visited the Vimy Ridge Memorial, but unlike these young tarts who have no manners or respect, I simply observed. I listened to the tour guides. I did not cross the barriers like some just so I could take a selfie of myself in front of the memorial structure while making those ridiculous duck lips! I had hoped that stupidity had died out years ago but some of those girls just can’t seem to help themselves.”
“But there is still another opportunity I’ve been given with this ‘working holiday’ if you will. And that is the chance to step foot inside of the ring again, to face this so-called ‘Southern belle’ with a Russian name; Nakita Niles, correct? An interesting specimen I suppose. How does a woman from … Cobb County, Georgia came to have a name one might expect from a KGB agent? I suppose that’s of little importance. I’m just by nature a curious sort and it was just a passing fancy of a thought.”
“What really stood out is the fact this Southern sass sees herself as something of a military type, which is terribly ironic as the military - be it army, navy, air force or marines, are seen as the shining example of all things American - and my interests were with how we as Americans held ourselves when in a different nation. I would hope that Nakita behaved herself and acted as a proper lady but given her recent actions, I have my doubts.”
“What doubts are those, you might ask? Well, getting involved in a match you had no business being a part of, for a start. Directly costing Bea Barnhart and Konrad Raab an opportunity to advance in the Blast From the Past tournament did not speak very highly of you as a lady, now did it Nakita? Oh certainly you can cry that Missus Barnhart took the initiative first in a previous match that cost you and Caleb Storms, but it’s not like the two of you had much of a chance anyway. And after all, two wrongs do not make a right.”
“A lady would know and understand this, but so far? You have proven yourself to be anything but a lady. Part of me wonders if you have any true ties to our wonderful men and women in uniform or if you’re more like those pompous military wives who believe they should be saluted according to their husband’s rank. Who think being a military wife is a true calling and one tougher than most. Is that you, La Femme Nakita? Are you a true warrior, a true soldier? Or are you more a pretender who is just waiting to be exposed to the world? Stolen valor is, after all, a felony.”
Miss Manners shrugged.
Miss Manners: “I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”
Tourist: “What do you mean I can’t pay with this!?”
The outburst gave Miss Manners pause and she, like everyone else close by, turned their heads to see an American tourist giving the previous young waiter a hard time. The tourist had in his hands, a handful of dollar bills - American currency.
Waiter: “Sir, this is France. We do not accept foreign currency.”
Tourist: “This is not foreign currency! This is American currency!”
Miss Manners turned away from the spectacle and sighed, massaging her temples with her fingers as the scene closed out.
