Author Topic: JULIANNA DIMARIA (c) v ALEXANDRA CALAWAY - WORLD TITLE  (Read 708 times)

Offline Christian Underwood

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JULIANNA DIMARIA (c) v ALEXANDRA CALAWAY - WORLD TITLE
« on: February 05, 2024, 09:33:31 AM »
Please post all roleplays here! Have fun and good luck!


“To err is human - but it feels divine.”
? Mae West

Offline AlexandraCalaway

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Re: JULIANNA DIMARIA (c) v ALEXANDRA CALAWAY - WORLD TITLE
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2024, 06:15:33 PM »
A Mother-Daughter Conversation
Dallas, Texas
2/9/24

The scene opens to a breathtaking forest bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun. Alexandra and Ashlynn stroll along a winding path, their footsteps muffled by a carpet of fallen leaves. The air is crisp and fragrant, alive with the soothing sounds of rustling leaves and distant bird calls. Alexandra watches as her daughter plays at the water's edge, a smile spread across her face.

“Isn't this beautiful, Ashlynn? The perfect spot for a little mother-daughter chat. I know that things have been difficult of late, there’s been a lot of adjustments and things have happened.  I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’m always going to be here for you.”

Ashlynn nods in agreement, her eyes wide with wonder as she takes in the tranquil surroundings.

“It's amazing, Mom. I feel like we're in a fairy tale. It's so beautiful.”

As they continue along the path, the trees gradually part, revealing a sun-dappled clearing beside a crystal-clear river. The water glistens like liquid silver, its surface rippling gently in the breeze. She pointed to a spot right by the river just a little ways up.

“Look, Ashlynn. There's our spot.”

They make their way to the edge of the riverbank and settle onto a large, moss-covered rock, the cool water lapping at their feet. Alexandra smiled looking over the water and taking a deep breath. They sit in companionable silence for a moment, soaking in the serenity of their surroundings. The sun dips lower on the horizon, casting a golden glow over the landscape.

“Ah, this is perfect.”

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

Alexandra turns to her daughter, a gentle smile playing on her lips. She can sense the hesitation in Ashlynn’s voice.

“Of course, sweetheart. You can ask me anything.”

“Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about life and... and how everything keeps changing.”

Alexandra nods in understanding, reaching out to take Ashlynn's hand in hers. It’s hard to think that just a little over a year ago, John and Alexandra had managed to rescue her daughter, the same little girl who sat there now, fidgeting with her shirt hem.

“Change can be scary, Ashlynn. But it's also a natural part of life. Just like the river, we have to learn to go with the flow.”

Ashlynn gazes out at the river, her brow furrowed in thought.

“But what if the changes are bad? What if we lose something important to us?”

Alexandra's expression softens, her eyes reflecting compassion and understanding.

“Losing something we love is never easy, sweetheart. But it's also an opportunity for growth. We learn to appreciate what we have and find strength in adversity.”

Alexadra wraps her arms around her daughter. Ashlynn leans into her mother's embrace, seeking comfort in her words and in the embrace of the one person who had never abandoned her.

“I'm scared, Mom. I don't want things to change.”

“It's okay to be scared, Ashlynn. But remember, no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. We'll face whatever comes our way together, just like we're doing now.”

They sit in silence for a moment, the only sound is the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze and the babbling of the river.

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

Alexandra presses a kiss to Ashlynn's forehead, her heart overflowing with love for her daughter.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Now come on, let's enjoy the rest of our time here together. Mom’s gotta leave in just a few days to go fight for the World Bombshell Championship.”

Hand in hand, they watch as the sun dips below the horizon, bathing the forest in a warm, golden glow.



Tale of the tape
Dallas, Tx
2/12/24

Comparing and Contrasting Julianna DiMaria and Alexandra Calaway

Background and Gimmick:
Julianna DiMaria, born into wrestling royalty, embodies entitlement and arrogance. Her parents' wrestling background and her upbringing have shaped her into a character who doesn't conform to traditional wrestling norms. She's outspoken, unapologetic, and uses her beauty and charm to manipulate situations to her advantage. On the other hand, Alexandra Calaway's persona is shrouded in mystery and darkness. Behind her pretty face lies a violent streak, and she's known for her daredevil wrestling style, contrasting Julianna's more technical and strategic approach. Alexandra's background includes overcoming personal tragedy, adding layers to her character that resonate with fans on an emotional level.

Wrestling Style:
Julianna is a technical wrestler with striking abilities, occasionally incorporating high-flying moves. Her moves are precise and calculated, fitting her character's strategic nature. In contrast, Alexandra is a technical brawler, known for her devastating finishing moves like the Fallen Angel and Apocalypse. Her style is more about overpowering her opponents with brute force, adding a raw, visceral element to her matches.

Entrance and Presentation:
Julianna's entrance is confident and arrogant, designed to provoke a reaction from the crowd. Her choice of entrance music and gestures like the "talk to the hand" gesture emphasize her disdain for the audience's opinion. In contrast, Alexandra's entrance is more theatrical, with dramatic lighting and music adding to her mystique. Her interactions with the audience are more confrontational, reflecting her darker persona.

Career Achievements:
Julianna has a list of accomplishments in various promotions, showcasing her ability to adapt and succeed in different environments. Her accolades include winning titles in NVR and Mainstream Wrestling, highlighting her versatility as a wrestler. On the other hand, Alexandra's career is defined by her dominance in hardcore wrestling, winning the Hardcore Championship 19 times. Her ability to thrive in extreme environments sets her apart from Julianna's more traditional accomplishments.

Personality and Fan Interaction:
Julianna's persona is divisive, drawing both admiration and disdain from fans. Her willingness to break the rules and challenge authority makes her a compelling character, but also a polarizing one. Alexandra, while also a heel, has a more complex relationship with fans. Her tragic backstory and resilience in the face of adversity garner sympathy and respect, even from those who boo her in the ring.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, Julianna DiMaria and Alexandra Calaway are two distinct characters with contrasting styles, personas, and career paths. Julianna embodies arrogance and entitlement, using her skills and charm to get ahead. Alexandra, on the other hand, is a dark, enigmatic figure, known for her resilience and dominance in hardcore wrestling. Their upcoming match for the World Bombshell Championship promises to be a clash of styles and personalities, showcasing the diversity of talent in the wrestling world.


Til Death Do we Part
Part 1
2/12/24

The scene opens in the elegant living room of the Strader Estate in Houston, Texas. Soft light filters through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. Alexandra and John are seated comfortably on the plush sofa, surrounded by wedding magazines, notebooks, and a laptop displaying various wedding venues. Alexandra gazes at the laptop screen, her eyes alight with excitement.

"I can't believe we're really doing this. Planning our wedding feels like a dream come true," Alexandra says, her voice filled with joy.

John smiles warmly at her, his eyes filled with love. "It sure does. I can't wait to marry you, Alexandra. You make me the happiest man alive."

Alexandra blushes, a smile playing on her lips. "You make me extremely happy too, John." She playfully nudges him, and he chuckles, pulling her onto his lap.

"So, have you thought more about where you want to have the ceremony?" John asks, running his hands up her back.

Alexandra nods, her eyes still fixed on the laptop screen. "Yes, I've been looking at a few options. I love the idea of a fall wedding, with the leaves changing colors and the crisp air. It's so romantic."

"That sounds perfect," John says enthusiastically. "A fall wedding would be beautiful. Maybe we could have it in a garden or a vineyard, surrounded by nature's autumn beauty."

Alexandra smiles at the thought. "I like that idea. And I think Ashlynn and Mackenzie would love it too. They could run around and play in the leaves."

John nods in agreement. "Definitely. We should make it a fun, family-friendly celebration."

"Speaking of which, have you thought about the bridal party?" John asks, looking genuinely interested.

Alexandra nods, her mind already forming a picture. "I have. I want Brianna, Mackenzie, and Ashlynn to be my maids of honor. And of course, I want you to have your best man."

John grins, clearly pleased with her choices. "I already know who I want as my best man. Damien has been like a brother to me."

"That's perfect," Alexandra says, smiling. "And for the bridesmaids, I was thinking about Mika and maybe a couple of my friends from the wrestling world."

John listens attentively as Alexandra lays out her plans for the bridal party. "Sounds great. We'll have a wonderful group standing by our side on our special day."

"Now, what about the date?" John asks, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"How about late October?" Alexandra suggests. "It's still fall, but not too close to Thanksgiving. Plus, the weather should be just right for an outdoor ceremony."

John nods in agreement. "Late October sounds perfect. It'll give us enough time to plan everything, and it'll be a beautiful time of year for a wedding."

As they cuddle up together, looking at wedding venues and discussing their plans, Alexandra leans in to kiss him. John wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. The kiss lingers, a silent promise of their love and commitment to each other.

"I can't wait to marry you, John," Alexandra whispers, her voice filled with love. "It's going to be the happiest day of my life."

"I feel the same way, Alexandra," John whispers back. "I love you more than words can say."

As they continue to plan their wedding, the camera pans out, capturing the love and excitement that fills the room, a testament to the deep bond between Alexandra and John.


My Bloody Valentine
Houston, Texas
2/14/24


The scene opens in the heart of Las Vegas, with Alexandra Calaway standing tall in the center of a luxurious suite, the vibrant lights of the city visible through the floor-to-ceiling windows behind her. She holds a microphone, her gaze steely as she prepares to unleash a verbal assault on her opponent, Julianna DiMaria.

"Julianna, we're here in the entertainment capital of the world, and yet you're still trying to convince everyone that you're some kind of big shot in the wrestling business. Well, let me tell you something, sweetheart. You may have scraped up a couple of wins against me earlier this year, but that doesn't change the fact that you're nothing more than a glorified sideshow act."

"It hasn't been easy," she begins, her voice tinged with a mixture of pride and determination. "From the moment I stepped foot in SCW, I knew I was in for the fight of my life. But I didn't back down. I faced every challenge head-on, refusing to let anything or anyone stand in my way."

She gestures around the opulent suite, a tangible symbol of her hard-earned success. "I've put everything on the line for this. My blood, my sweat, my tears. I've trained tirelessly, pushed myself to the limit, and never once wavered in my pursuit of greatness."

The memories flood back, a montage of grueling matches and hard-fought victories. "I've battled some of the toughest competitors SCW has to offer. From former champions to rising stars, I've faced them all and emerged victorious. But each victory came at a price, a testament to the sheer determination and resilience it takes to succeed in this business."

Despite the setbacks and challenges she faced, Alexandra's resolve remains unshakable. "I've fought tooth and nail to make it to the top of SCW, and I'll be damned if I let anyone take it away from me now. This Sunday, I'll step into that ring ready to give it everything I've got, because I know what it takes to win. I've fought for this moment, and I won't let anyone stand in my way."

The camera pans around the room, capturing the opulence of the suite as Alexandra continues her tirade. Alexandra's voice echoes off the walls of the suite, her words dripping with contempt. "You talk a big game, Julianna, but let's face it. You're all bark and no bite. You're the kind of dog that has lived on for too long, the kind that should have been put down a long time ago.”
She paces the room, the frustration evident in her voice. "You think you're entitled to success, that it should just be handed to you on a silver platter. Well, news flash, sweetheart. Success is earned, not given. And until you learn that, until you learn to humble yourself and put in the work, you'll always be stuck in the same place, fighting for scraps while the real competitors rise to the top." Alexandra took a moment to pause, breathing in deeply.

"You know, Julianna, there was a time when I could have respected you. When I could have seen you as a worthy competitor, someone who, despite their flaws, was willing to put it all on the line in the name of competition. But then you had to go and ruin it all with your actions and your bullshit comments."

Her words are laced with disdain as she takes a step forward, her gaze unwavering. "You've shown time and time again that you're nothing more than a coward, hiding behind your arrogance and your entitlement. You think you're tough, Julianna? You think you're the baddest bitch in the room? Well, news flash, sweetheart. It takes more than a big mouth and a bad attitude to be a real competitor."

"I've fought tooth and nail for every opportunity in SCW," Alexandra reflects, her voice tinged with determination. "I've put my body on the line, night after night, facing some of the toughest competitors this company has to offer. I've endured pain, I've endured setbacks, but through it all, I've never lost sight of my goal."

She stands up, the fire in her eyes burning brightly. "I've faced adversity head-on, overcoming challenges that would have broken lesser competitors. I've proven time and time again that I am not just a wrestler, I am a fighter. I've fought through injuries, I've fought through doubt, and I've fought through the naysayers who said I would never make it to the top."

As she paces the room, her words carry a weight of determination. "I've sacrificed so much to be here, to have the chance to hold this championship in my hands. I've missed birthdays, holidays, moments with my family, all in pursuit of this one goal. But it's all been worth it, because this Sunday, I have the chance to prove to the world that I am the best, that I am worthy of being called champion."

She stops, her gaze locking onto the camera. "I've fought for respect, I've fought for recognition, and I've fought for the right to stand in this ring and call myself a champion. And I will not let anyone, especially someone like Julianna DiMaria, take that away from me. This Sunday, I will step into that ring and I will fight with everything I have. Because I am Alexandra Calaway, and I will not be denied."

The camera captures every nuance of her expression, the fire in her eyes burning brightly. "It takes heart, it takes determination, and most of all, it takes respect. And let me tell you something, Julianna. After everything you've said and done, I have no respect for you. None whatsoever."

She pauses, letting her words sink in, the silence pregnant with tension. "You want to talk about proving yourself, Julianna? You want to talk about earning respect? Well, here's your chance. This Sunday, in Sin City Wrestling's biggest event of the year, you'll have the opportunity to prove once and for all that you're more than just talk. But mark my words, Julianna. I will not go down without a fight. I will not let you or anyone else stand in my way. I am Alexandra Calaway, and I will show the world why I am the true queen of Sin City Wrestling."


The camera cuts to shots of the Las Vegas skyline, the city alive with energy and excitement. Alexandra's voice cuts through the noise, commanding attention. "I've fought tooth and nail for everything I've achieved in this business. I've faced adversity, I've faced defeat, but I've never once backed down. That's the difference between you and me, Julianna. I have the heart of a champion, and nothing you say or do will ever change that."

She turns to face the camera, her eyes burning with determination. "So, enjoy your time in the spotlight, Julianna. Enjoy the attention, the fame, the glory. Because when it's all said and done, when the lights fade and the crowds disperse, you'll be left with nothing but regret. Regret for the opportunities you've wasted, regret for the bridges you've burned, and regret for the legacy you'll never have."

She takes a moment to compose herself before delivering the final blow. "So, go ahead, Julianna. Keep talking your talk, keep insulting me. But remember this: no matter what happens in our match, win or lose, I will always come out on top. Because unlike you, I have the drive, the skill, and the heart to succeed in this business. And when the day comes that someone else does to you what I'm about to do, I hope you remember this moment. I hope you remember the feeling of being exposed, of being seen for who you really are. Because in the end, the truth always comes out. And Julianna, one more thing before I go.  Happy Valentine's Day."

She blew a kiss at the camera, giving it a wink, before the screen fades to black.


The Ties that Bind us
Las Vegas
2/14/24

The scene opens in Alexandra's luxurious suite in Las Vegas, where she and John are seated on a plush sofa, surrounded by wedding magazines and notes. Ashlynn sits between them, looking worried, while Mackenzie sits on the arm of the sofa, comforting her like a big sister.

Alexandra looks at Ashlynn with a gentle smile. "Sweetheart, what's on your mind?" she asks, placing a reassuring hand on her daughter's knee.

Ashlynn looks up, her eyes filled with concern. "I'm just... I'm worried about the future," she admits, her voice barely above a whisper.

John wraps an arm around Ashlynn, pulling her close. "Hey, there's nothing to worry about. It's going to be beautiful, I promise," he says, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll always be here to take care of you and your mom.  I won’t leave you all.”

Mackenzie nods in agreement. "Yeah, Ashlynn, everything's going to be fine. We're all going to be together, celebrating your mom and my Dad's love. It's going to be amazing, we will become sisters." she says, giving her future sister a comforting smile.

Alexandra looks at her daughters, feeling a surge of love and gratitude. "You know, girls, this wedding isn't just about John and me. It's about all of us coming together as a family. It's about our love and our commitment to each other," she says, her voice filled with emotion.

John nods, his eyes shining with love. "That's right. We're not just becoming husband and wife, we're becoming a family. And that's something worth celebrating," he says, giving Alexandra a loving look.

The four of them sit together, wrapped in a moment of love and togetherness, the worries of the wedding melting away in the warmth of their bond. No matter what Alexandra already had the greatest title anyone could ever have.  She was her daughter's hero and  no one could take that away from her, despite several peoples attempts. There was one last thing she needed to do.  Dethrone Julianna DiMaria.

Offline Julianna DiMaria

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Imperfections
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2024, 11:37:38 PM »
February 4th

Earlier, I was in the arena continuing my brash bravado and clapping back at the haters that have constantly been picking at my title reign. But now? Alone in my own hotel room with my things in front of me and with a wrestling podcast airing in the background, I was feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders. There was a feeling of sadness, perhaps dissatisfaction, coming through me. I had just come off of reading a text from my mother asking me when I was going to stop addressing the hate. I wouldn’t even bother responding.

My journal was in front of me and I was musing about what to write about…

Normally, it’s in front of me when I’m being bothered by something. I could hear the podcast in the background beginning to talk about me. But for all of the bravado I was showing on camera, behind the scenes, I was starting to feel weighed down…

“Fraud champion…” says one locker room hater. My last defense being Bea Barnhart helped none with this. Even then, I had enough fight to jab back.

“Have you ever been a world champion, hater?” I asked in my head.

“Nobody cares about you”... says another. I thought back to my celebration that was interrupted a few weeks ago. I sighed, feeling like maybe a name bigger than Alexandra Calaway could’ve interrupted it instead. 

“You care enough about me to say that…” I said in another mental clapback.

“You’re a joke of a champion…” says another.

“Call me when you win this championship…” I would generally say back. But the truth was, I was becoming exhausted by the criticism more than I wanted to admit.

“Everything’s fine…” I told myself in my mind. “...get by Calaway and keep shoving it in their faces. You know the truth. They’re picking at you because you have what they want and they continue to be jealous that you won it faster than they ever could.”

I took a breath before I heard the podcast say “On the line with us is Minka Valeria… Julianna DiMaria’s ex-girlfriend…”

My eyes widened as they exchanged greetings and the host asked my ex who she thought would win.

“Alexandra, obviously…” I heard her say as I narrowed my eyes with anger. “I’ll tell you why I am confident in that pick. Because Julianna has this tendency to wrestle down to her competition. I swear, she basically did that against Bea Barnhart. She did the same thing against Mercedes Vargas. Her first two defenses have asterisks on them and Bella Madison is her best defense? Really? She’s a FRAUD of a champion…”

I let out a very angry sigh, showing how tired I was of hearing that kind of talk. Minka only continued.

“She can’t even be the last match on a Supercard and in SCW, it’s the MEN main eventing again.”

“WHAT?!??!?!?!” I said out loud, almost screaming. To say I was furious was an understatement, but that only lasted for a second. Inside, my heart sank. I thought back to all of the scorn I’d been receiving as the Bombshells World Champion and now knowing I had failed in my mission to return the Bombshells to the main event not only broke my heart… but it really pushed me over the edge…

“...what if they’re right?” I asked myself.

“If Julianna was a worthy champion, and not the fraud that she is, her title defenses would be main eventing those supercards…” I heard my ex say. “But the truth is, she hasn’t defended against anyone worth a damn without help from anyone and the company even sees her as the flop champion that she is…”

“...she’s right…” I said. “THEY’RE right… I’m a flop… a fraud. My last defense epitomizes it. I’ve done nothing but fail as a champion. What if this next defense is it? What if my worst nightmare comes true?”

I was starting to feel the sting of the haters words. I wisely shut the podcast off, but I was already beginning to imagine the absolute worst case scenario…

A scenario where I did, indeed, lose the title to Alexandra Calaway…

February 19th

In this imaginary scenario, I found myself in the locker room after losing my championship to Alexandra. I was cowering in the corner wanting to avoid everyone and I was in tears. I was feeling lost, embarrassed and humiliated. My heart was empty. I felt like all of my efforts, from my first match in against Dawn Warren, was truly for nothing. I could hardly breathe through the shame that I was dealing with, feeling like I had spiraled back to 2018 all over again. I could hear some chatter and laughter in the room next to mine…

“Julianna was a fraud…” I heard one of the Bombshells say.

“She truly was a nobody that got lucky the entire time…” another one said.

“What did she do during her title reign exactly? Scrape by the cupcakes before fucking Alexandra of all people won the belt from her?”

I could hear the entire locker room laughing at me and my pride was just stung. I had no fight in me to try and confront them. I didn’t want to admit it, but I truly felt like the biggest joke in the company.

“I’m not surprised at all. She’s always been a laughingstock if you’ve followed her from the start of her career…” another Bombshell said.

All I could do was bury my face in my hands and cry. My mind was now playing tricks on me. All I could hear was “failure” drill my conscience again and again until a distinctive male voice was drilling that into my skull…

The voice of my father…

When I looked up, I turned white as a ghost seeing him right in front of me…

“You’re dead…” I said through my tears.

“You USELESS, PATHETIC, UNGRATEFUL SACK OF SHIT…” my father yelled at me, causing me to shake a bit remembering that he wrote that letter to me prior to his death. “...what was I thinking writing that letter to you? You got complacent and let it get to your head. What kind of fucking title reign was that?”

I was too distraught to answer.

“SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!” he screamed at me. “I’m not surprised you choked like this. You always do this. You always have. You can’t be successful for shit because you let it get in your head! Forget that fucking letter! You oughta retire from wrestling and just be a stripper or something…”

“How can you say that to your own daughter?”

“I take back all the nice, flowery things I ever wrote in that stupid letter! Figures! A stupid letter for such a stupid fucking person that will never be good enough for anyone, or anything. I mean seriously… you needed help to beat MERCEDES VARGAS? You were in a competitive title defense against BEA FUCKING BARNHART? REALLY?”

“...I can’t face the music, Dad… I’m done… I’m leaving SCW… I’m leaving wrestling… I can’t do this anymore…”

“GOOD! You never deserved to be in the business at all!”

“I’ll never bounce back from losing to Alexandra Calaway…”

“Damn right you won’t… you worthless, switch hitting SKANK…”

I closed my eyes with shame and felt a slap across the face, further pouring salt into the wound that Alexandra completely gashed in my soul. I opened my eyes and saw my younger self from 2018, the same part of myself I dismissed as an anchor before, and even she was laughing at me.

“You know I was a joke in my time…” she said to me. “And now? You’re just as much of a joke…”

My ears were filled with haunting, endless laughs… from my younger self, my father and the locker room. I heard a repeated chant of “failure” from all of them and I was suffocating from all the weight of my shattered pride…

February 5th

Then I snapped out of my own imagination, fearful as hell of such a fate. I caught a tear coming down my face. Internally, I was horrified by what just went through my head. My hand was shaking as I opened up the journal, grabbed a pen and tried to put everything I was feeling on paper no matter how hard it was.

“Finding out the men are main eventing again crushed me…

And it feels that my haters and critics in the Bombshells locker room have been validated.

I don’t want to experience them basking in my failure. But now I’m wondering if they’re already doing that. I have tried to fight off their crap for so long, but I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on before I snap, or do something so dumb that it costs me my title. But do the jealous haters have a point? I mean, my most impressive defense is Bella Madison but considering how far and fast she fell since I beat her, that’s not saying much.

It’s SO UNFAIR that I’m in a “can’t win” scenario for MBV…

I beat Alexandra and they continue with the same old BS that I’m getting tired of and they’re going to try and cheapen it with asterisks like they do with everything I do…

I lose to her and they’re all going to come out of the closet saying ‘I was right!’ and they are going to make fun of me and say that…”

It was when I wrote that last sentence, where something in me snapped. I dropped my pen and I suddenly started to feel a familiar anger flow through my veins.

“What the FUCK am I doing?” I asked myself. “NO, I DON’T DESERVE to be feeling this way over something that is so TRIVIAL to begin with. I can’t help it though. I try so much and I can never feel satisfied with ANY of my success because I know deep down I CAN do better than what I have in my reign so far and I just don’t know HOW to make all the criticism and all the bullshit just GO AWAY already! I know I’ve always had issues with loving myself as a human but this is too far! I need to put a stop to those issues and put the past behind me, but how? Maybe I could use my mom… or my therapist… or Christy and Ally… hell Liam pulled me through last time…”

I picked up my phone and went through my contacts trying to figure out who to call to pull me out of the psychological darkness I found myself in.

“FUCK that! ENOUGH of taking advice from people! I’m going to figure this crap out on my own! I’m not going to run away from my past failures and horrible moments in this business anymore and I’m going to FIGHT BACK! The ONLY way the empty words of those bitches aren’t going to bother me is if I practice self-love and embrace the worst parts of me… because the better I feel about ME, the less THEIR bullshit matters…”

With that, I tore out the page I was writing, crumped it, and threw it in a nearby can.

“Time to treat myself better…”

I picked up the pen and began writing again…

“To my younger self…

Around the summer of 2018…

You just lost your first major supercard match of your career against a coward in a blue mask by submission and you’re humiliated as hell…

The loss I just mentioned, and many that were suffered around this time, is the biggest reason why I fear of being laughed at and mocked by everyone else in the locker room…”

As I was writing to my younger self, I was imagining talking to her as well.

Summer 2018…

Central Park. New York City.

There I was all those years ago, hidden from everyone else, sitting next to a tree, hating my life and my career. A broken cell phone was nearby and my heart was sinking again as I watched my younger self lose it all.

“Now Dad just wants to make it worse after everyone backstage laughed at me for tapping out last night? What is wrong with me? Why am I SO BAD at this?”

I was wincing, looking back at this memory.

“I keep losing to inferior opponents… I even lost to someone that was barely wrestling her first match a couple of months ago. Why am I weak? I’m never going to amount to anything! I’m retiring! I can’t do this anymore! Tapping out in Madison Square Garden and being humiliated by someone I had beaten before is the last straw! I’ll never bounce back from this! I’m done! Retiring! I’m a worthless, rail thin, thin skinned piece of shit… a fucking piece of shit…”

“...stop it…” I said with a quiver in my voice as my younger self looked back at me. “It gets better…”

“How would you know?”

“I’m living the future right now…”

“And I bet when you think of me, you hate me and want to forget that you ever were me, right?”

“Not anymore…” I said as I went to sit down with my younger self, giving her a one-arm embrace along with it. “...without you, there’s no me.”

My younger self looks back at me, surprised at what she just heard.

“It’s the truth. You are, honestly, a brave, strong, wonderful human being no matter what anyone else says and that’s something you have to understand. Those haters laughing at you? Most of them will be done wrestling by the time you get to be me. The stupid company you’re wrestling for? It closes in scandal. You need to persevere like the brilliantly strong young lady that you are and keep fighting back against EVERYONE that stands in your way… even “daddy” who you’re going to prove wrong someday. You are on your way to doing amazingly special things. I know you got pressured into having to be perfect to make other people happy, but you never had to be. In fact, you’re perfect just by being imperfect!”

“I never could’ve seen it like that…” my younger self said.

“You’ve got your flaws and you’re going to have your stumbles. But you’re always going to bounce back, even from the worst rock bottom you could ever imagine. If you think THIS is rock bottom, then you have no idea exactly what kind of darkness you will have to overcome to become me! You are so courageous for facing your fears and your demons and constantly fighting no matter what happens to you. Keep doing that and the world truly becomes yours someday…”

“Thank you so much!” my younger self says as she traps me in a hug, which I return quickly. “I needed that.”

“You’re perfect…” I reassured my younger self. “You’re amazing. You’re brilliant. You’re wonderful. You’re awesome…”

February 5th

Once more, I snapped out of my own imagination as I continued to write some final, positive affirmations to my younger self detailing how incredible, brave and how strong of a fighter she truly was… and obviously still is.

I stopped writing and I finally felt much better having purged my anxieties over the spotlight I’ve been in out of my mind, finally.

“I see the truth about who I really am…” I thought to myself. This is the beginning of my reconciliation with my last…

I closed the journal shut and finally, I could breathe and relax…

February 16th

Now that the camera was on me as I stood in the vicinity of the Mirage resort in Vegas, I was back to being fired up and pretty damn pissed off. It didn’t take much for me to get into battle mode. All I had to do was remember the interrupted celebration and everything about Alexandra that I had analyzed over the last few weeks. That raging fire was burning in my heart, even more now with my personal, internal breakthrough where I decided to reconcile with my younger self.

I was about to show Alexandra what a world champion is…

“Alexandra Calaway…

I admit, I was blind. I had you all wrong. But this isn’t for your benefit, really. I had you wrong for your detriment. You see, I had a LONG, DEEP thought about why you interrupted my celebration and challenged me and I was dumb enough to think that you did it out of SOME kind of respect for me. But, as I thought about what you did and I thought about the idiots in the locker room obsessively name dropping me every promo they do… you know who you are… and it hit me. You’re challenging me for my title because you think I am easy pickings for you.

The fucking NERVE… the fucking DISRESPECT! You’re not challenging me as a compliment, you’re challenging me as an insult. Of course, it’s no secret that you’ve always carried this holier than thou attitude acting like every single win you get was this grand stage event that deserves to be respected and celebrated, but that attitude is NOT going to fly with ME! You are, quite frankly, the personification of the HATERS I deal with in that two faced locker room because even though you haven’t said it, you AGREE with those bitches that want to drag me down with their petty jealousy! Your ACTION of interrupting my celebration and challenging me proves that as a fact! Did you honestly think that I wasn’t going to catch on to your true intentions before our match happened?

Bitch, you don’t know me…

Hell, NOBODY in that locker room knows me…

But people want to chirp in subtweets, nameless, cowardly digs in their promos at me, or their constant obsession with throwing shade at me…

….KAYLA RICHARDS…

…bitch…

…they do this… ACTING like they know me.

You THINK you know me…

You ACT as if I’m that far beneath you! You showed that when you interrupted me. Just because you’ve been around longer than I have in this business and have a higher title count than me doesn’t make you better than me because when it comes to Sin City Wrestling, the proof is in the pudding… I AM better than you! I’ve DESERVED my keep around here! I’M the one that has stepped up against big name opponents. I’M the one with the wins over Courtney and Roxi. I’M the one that went to High Stakes and won this championship! I’M the ONE that BEAT THE ONE that night! You know all the talk the idiots say about me?

“Fraud champion”

“Nobody cares about you”

All of that?

You know to some degree, that honestly should’ve applied to you and your Roulette Championship reign… you know, one of the things that make you feel like you’re entitled to disrespect me and challenge me? People want to bash MY reign while they let THAT reign get off scot free? Nah, fuck that. Let’s talk about that reign.

Let’s talk about how you won the thing from Jessie Salco… of ALL people! WOW! That is SO impressive! You beat the Bombshell who retired with the most losses in the history of this division and who was on her last legs! I’m SO IMPRESSED!”

I paused and let out a scoff.

“Beating Jessie makes you SUCH a queen, right? I mean hell, who HASN’T beaten Jessie Salco that was in this company prior to my arrival? Why should ANYONE be impressed by that? To me, honestly? It looks like you took the lowest hanging fruit among the Bombshells champions. At the time you won your title, the other two singles champions were Kayla and Courtney. If you wanted to REALLY prove something, you challenge one of them… NOT Jessie! But you know who challenged Courtney on the biggest show of the year and won? I DID! You know who would beat Kayla pillar to post like the loud mouthed little, attention starved vapid piece of shit that she is? I would, because I don’t fear her. I don’t fear ANY competition! That’s literally the ONLY reason why I took your challenge because if you REALLY take a deep dive into your run here, you don’t deserve this spot as much as someone like Kayla or Courtney would. Tell me, Alexandra.

Why didn’t you challenge either of them instead?

Hell, you didn’t even have to beat anyone worthwhile to even GET that title shot against Jessie. Who’d you beat? Bea Barnhart and Seleana Zdunich? REALLY? But people want to go around calling ME the “fraud champion”.

FUCK THAT! I’m DONE with that shit! I’ve reached my last straw with the haters because I know I am better than taking their shit and starting with you, I am going to show that I am DONE with that garbage! You turn the camera on literally every single promo that you do, living in this delusion of grandeur and acting like you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread as you meander on about your accomplishments… acting like you’re some kind of goddess from above, when really? You’re like many of the Jane Does around here that act as they’re better than they really are. I mean, in past promos, you’ve talked about being the ‘top dog’ around here…

Yeah… the top dog that padded her Roulette title reign against Georgie Robertson and Laura Phoenix, am I right?

But hey, I guess in your warped head… you think that retaining against the likes of Seleana and Bea makes you a worthy title challenger, right?

That’s without mentioning you have losses… PLURAL… on your record to Bea Barnhart, by the way. Don’t get me wrong, Alexandra. You’re a fine wrestler. I’ll give you that. You’ve got titles to your name all around the world. You’ve made the grade everywhere else you’ve wrestled and you’ve had to overcome a lot of darkness… within yourself, surrounding you, and from other people… to get to where you are today. But that doesn’t mean that you’re better than me and that doesn’t entitle you to my championship! People around here act like I’ve got a silver spoon in my mouth and that I didn’t have to work hard to get to where I am today. That couldn’t be further from the truth…

You think I don’t know a damn thing about darkness, Alexandra? Because I DO… and arguably? I think I know what it’s like to be in that darkness BETTER than you do! You’ve talked about what you’ve been through personally… and I can sympathize. But let me run down the darkness I’ve had to endure…

A father that verbally and emotionally neglected and abused the hell out of me when he had the chance.

My first wrestling company treating me like an absolute joke where more than half of their locker room made a mockery out of me after every match I lost.

Literally losing my mind and allowing myself to be brainwashed by a toxic, abusive ex-boyfriend thinking that I had to act like him just for him to love me.

Being abused and mistreated by the company that I won my first world championship in… TWICE…

And to bring things full circle? Never gaining his full acceptance until he was already in the grave.

I have been the laughingstock of this business before, Alexandra. I have been in woebegone wrestling promotions stuck in the nineties where I was treated as nothing more than a sex object and not taken seriously. Now, I WILL own up to the fact that when I first started out, I brought some of the ridicule and scorn upon myself because I was young, dumb and immature… but FUCK… dealing with all of that? It STILL hurt… but I pushed on, I persevered and hell, prior to coming here, my career wasn’t exactly in the greatest shape. I’ll be the first to admit that. But I came here and I turned things around so that is why, Alexandra…

When you’ve got Courtney calling me a ‘nobody’ prior to our title match…

When you have that fucking moron Keira Fisher calling me a ‘weakling’...

When Kayla the Cunt is so desperate for my attention she’s chirping at me in her promos with her sophomoric bullshit…

I barely feel a thing now…

With what I’ve endured, I’m too fucking strong to be broken down by that now.

THAT is what makes me STRONGER and BETTER than you! That’s what makes me more of a DESERVING CHAMPION than you.

You’re giving yourself sugar comas with all the cupcakes you got to eat during your Roulette Championship reign… aside from Tempest… while I make HISTORY winning this championship that I have now in just my SIXTH match!

YOU have your big matches over your time here… LOSING them more often than not… while I haven’t lost ONE match here! Not yet!

Hell, put your MIRAGE of who you feel you really are aside for a moment and TRULY ask yourself if you’re ready for this or if you’re biting off more than you can chew because while you’ve made the grade in other places, HERE, in Sin City Wrestling? The competition has proven it’s been a notch slightly above your current capabilities. Granted, maybe you CAN make an adjustment and close the gap… but not Sunday… NOT at my expense! Your record… HERE… when it comes to supercards and big matches leaves SO much to be desired…

Remember your Luna grudge and how you had a chance to make a name for yourself last May at Into the Void? How’d that go? Oh wait…

But you won three supercard matches in a row after that… against Bobbie, Jessie, Georgie and Bea… HA… that’ll make you a world champion.

Then you lose the Roulette Championship to Bobbie… the worst title match choker the Bombshells division had! You not only lose the belt to someone you already beat, you also lose it to someone that has never held a title in this company before. But even after THAT, you think you get to move up and challenge me and that you deserve to be the Bombshells World Champion?

I know there was scorn about ME getting a title shot after just five matches… but at least the biggest win I had prior to High Stakes was Roxi whereas your biggest win PERIOD, throughout your whole career, was either Jessie or Tempest. I guess if that passes for having the right to jump the line, then so be it. But really, as INSULTED as I am by you challenging me… now that I realize that you did so because you probably think you can easily win this because of all the TMZ-style garbage about me that spreads around the locker room…

Putting your SCW career in a scope the way I just did with how more often than not, you haven’t met the mark in this company compared to your career everywhere else?

NOW I realize why the men are in the main event of this supercard regardless of how BULLSHIT it is considering neither one of those dickless bastards beat the REAL champion in J2H to begin with…

It’s not because of the slanderous narrative of “JULIANNA IS A FRAUD CHAMPION”...

It’s not because of me…

The Bombshells aren’t main eventing this show because of YOU… because your SCW career so far doesn’t scream ‘main event title contender’. Sure, all you need is ONE win to change that… and I know ALL about that considering High Stakes and how I GOT that one win to prove I am a main event contender. For you, sadly… it’s not going to happen. You, Alexandra, are many things to me right now.

You’re my final straw.

This fucking locker room is done trashing me and disrespecting me when I’m not in front of their face.

I am DONE being weighed down by HORRIBLE, UNDESERVING, RANDOM CHALLENGERS like Bea Barnhart and I am DONE having MY MISSION of the Bombshells main eventing a supercard again be weighed down by the likes of you.

You’re my STATEMENT, Alexandra…

You’re my statement to the room that enough is enough with the games, the petty high school level nonsense about me, challengers like Bella who acted like our match never happened and moved on, the bullshit of people interfering in my title matches to cheapen my reign….

I’m DONE with it!

After I retain against you, this fucking company will put respect on my name, my championship and MY division! When I retain against you, I am NOT taking a fucking backseat to ANYTHING on a supercard again… not the men’s division, not that stupid Blast From the Past tournament final… ANYTHING!

I hate that it had to be you, because even though you disrespected me with interrupting my celebration and treating me like someone you can just walk all over, I at least RESPECT YOU more than the other Bombshells because despite what I think about you and your worthiness of challenging me, you at least came up to me to my FACE and talked your shit… unlike the KAYLAS of the world that are too chickenshit to say anything when I’m around and would rather hide behind their subtweets.

I define who the fuck I am… not the petty, spineless bitches in the back that want to shade me behind their fucking keyboards.

I put the exclamation point on that very fact when I once again retain MY Bombshells World Championship and make you second guess your decision to challenge me.

With all the rage in my soul with what I just vented, I take a deep, angry breath and shut the camera off.