Gunshot Wounds and Sadness
Scene One | Off-Camera
There was so much blood.
It felt like he was walking under water. His friend was laying there, blood pooling onto the hardwood floors. James was laying there, bleeding out and there was just so much god damn blood. James’ grip on his hand was loosening somewhat. He was weakening. The sirens were getting closer. They were so close, but they weren’t close enough.
There was so much blood.
“Come on Jimmy. Come on.”
“I ever tell you what the biggest cruelty in this world is? You were born straight as an arrow, and the world saw fit to make us partners in life. This big ol’ boy, who was just a little bit bent. I loved my way through a smorgasbord of lovers, rockstar. You’ve seen me in my highs, and lows. The biggest cruelty in this world? I fell in love with my best friend, and he ain’t ever gon’ love me the way I love him. But that’s alright with me, daddy. That’s alright with me, ‘cause our Lulu? She fuckin’ loves you. And if you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me, rockstar.”
“You’re delirious Jimmy. Just hold on. Just hold on, please.”
“I love you, rockstar. Don’t you ever forget it.”
He’d only noticed the shot in the leg. He’d only heard the one shot. There should have been only one wound. But there it was. A second shot in the gut. His leg, his stomach. His friend was fucking dying and all he could do was apply pressure and hold his hand. His weakening grip. He didn’t even hear them come in. His head was so far away from his mind. Alex watched himself being dragged off the body by the paramedics. Orders being shouted, questions. Autopilot. He was under water, and he was in autopilot.
There was so much fucking blood.
…
“Alex what the fuck happened?”
Reality. He snapped up, Luna was there with tears in her eyes. She was holding his hands, kneeling in front of him. His hands wrapped in a tight little ball in his lap. His hands were still stained red. God, there was so much blood.
“I… I don’t know Lu. I was sitting there, hanging out in the back office. Lost in my own world. Then I heard this bang. I knew that bang, you know? I knew the sound of a fucking gunshot. He was just lying there. Lu, there’s so much fucking blood.”
His voice wavered; he was breaking. His soul was tearing itself apart, and his voice was breaking. She was staring into his eyes and watching him fall apart. He looked at her, looked for something.
“Jimmy will pull through, Lexi. He’ll pull through. He always does.”
Her brother was dying, and she was trying to comfort him. Her brother, and Alex was the one falling apart. He loosened his hands and sucked in a deep breath. His fingers intertwining with hers. Linking with hers. It felt like they were in a bubble, waiting to hear something. Any update. She twisted up off the floor and planted into the seat next to him. Hands linked in her lap now, in each other’s touch for the moment. Her hands were red now too.
There was so much blood.
…
How many hours had passed? He wasn’t sure. He had no idea how long had passed. Yet here they were still. Luna had fallen asleep on his shoulder, her jacket draped over her as a makeshift blanket. Alex hadn’t moved. He was hyper aware of how stiff his shoulders were. He was aware of how tight his jaw was. His teeth hurt from being grit so tightly. His fingers were bright red from all the tension. The footsteps of the doctors, someone coming to them. A sombre look. No peace in the face of the man.
“Mr Rabenschwarz? Miss Pasilno?”
Luna roused, groggily and suddenly. She looked at the doctor, and leapt to her feet, nodding. Alex nodded too and tried to stand. The doctor shook his head a little, but with a little bit of a smile. Somewhat reassuring.
“The good news is we’ve got him out of surgery. He’s stable for the moment. But he’s lost a lot of blood. The leg wound nearly tore his femoral artery in two. Any longer and he wouldn’t have made it. The more concerning however is the bullet to the abdomen. It wasn’t a clean wound. It’s bounced around and caused some real problems. We think he’ll be fine, but it is a little touch and go for the moment. You’ll be able to see him soon. Please, let us know if you have any questions.”
The doctor talked; Luna listened. Alex just sat back down. His head was under water, his thoughts were so heavy. So clouded. His head was so loud but also so quiet. It was like being high all over again. Sinking into the couch, melting into a different world. They were all addicts at one point. The broken children, who hid behind their vices. Luna turned to him and smiled. For once she was the strong one. For once she was the one who was holding it all together. Holding it together for her brother and her boyfriend. She deserved to be collapsing right now. She deserved too not be okay. She sat and placed her hands either side of his face. Holding his face and smiled.
“You saved him tonight, Alex. If you weren’t there, Jimmy would be dead. You saved him. Please, don’t blame yourself for this.”
He managed a smile, but that was about it. Life was taunting him right here and now, and all he could do was swim. He nodded, but it wasn’t real acknowledgement. It was a moment of acceptance. Of being allowed to be okay for just a moment.
“I’m like the angel of death, Lu. Everyone around me keeps on dying.”
Her expression was pained, tears welling in the edges of her eyes. She pulled her face to his and rested her forehead against him. Shaking her head a little. Reassuring, reaffirming. Trying to keep him from spiralling himself.
There was so much blood.
…
Iconic
Scene Two | On-Camera
“I was a heartbeat away from being the World Champion. One moment away, and I came up short. I came up short, because I slipped up. Just for a moment, and it all came crashing down. You know what consolation prize I got for that? Another week off, and my best friend dying in a hospital bed. That’s what I got for being one moment off. Some would say its poetic, that the one who didn’t deserve to be there, got put to sleep by the only one that really did. But what I did prove, is that ever other person was God damn wrong. That Alexander Raven can tussle and tumble with the best of them. That in a field of the best, I’m only just a heartbeat off being the best. It’s iconic of everything I’ve been talking about. The world forgot who I was, and it was up to me to fucking remind them. It was up to me to remind everyone who the hell Alexander Raven is. Alexander Raven is the best that Sin City has to offer. Alexander Raven is the workhouse of Sin City. Alexander Raven is the man of Sin City, and all I must do is beat J2H.”
An empty bar, hardwood floors. Stools turned up and sitting on the bar. Except for one, which is being occupied by Alexander Raven. An ashtray in front of him, a whiskey tumbler sitting in front of him. Two fingers high with the amber dark liquid. His eyes downcast. A stain on the nearby floorboards.
“I heard you last week, James. I was listening, I was watching. Took your advice and turned on the TV, and low and behold there you were. Talking. That’s when it dawned on me. You like to talk, James. I like to talk. In fact, some might say both of us are all fucking talk. I’m not that person. No, I like to talk because it lets me get my thoughts out there. It lets me get under the skin of those who scream about it. Cheap heat you call it. Accused me of attempting to get under you skin. Let me clarify something for you, brother. I didn’t try and get under your skin. I was under your skin. Talk and talk and deny and deny. I know who you are James, because I was you. I’ve been you. I know what it’s like to deny the truth that lays at your feet. So let me make it clear to you. Let me make it clear to anybody. I’m ready, anytime. Any fucking place. You want to prove yourself? I’m ready to tussle, boy. Hell, I’ll be there this week. To answer your call to arms.”
“But that brings me to this week. Dubois, Iconic Dubois. The Iconic newcomer to this here Sin City. I remember when I signed up to Sin City. Mark said something apropos to our situation here. He said that typically, they ran their new blood up against the established stalwarts of the roster. Feed the new guys to the likes of Fenris, Mac Bane and hell even Austin James Mercer and Jack Washington. Tune up matches for the established, but a chance. A chance for the fresh faced to make a name for themselves. I can respect someone with a history. You have history, Dubois. What little I can see, you’re not half step bad. You come into this with accolades and wins to your name and you’re here to prove you can swing and dance with the big boys. So they feed you to me. The man who has had two matches in the last month. A loss to the delusional, and a heartbeat’s missed chance at being the world champion. The man who caught the eye, attention and ire of our would-be ever king. A tune up match, some would call it. Shaking off that rust. Ensuring that when I step up to that plate one more time, I’m fucking ready for it.”
He lifts the glass to his mouth and knocks it back. Drinking it down quick. A sigh of satisfaction, the clink of the glass being placed back on the counter. A cigarette pulled from behind his ear, placed to his lips. Held there for a moment, he holds the lighter near it. Not yet lighting it.
“I’m not that guy, Dubois. I’m not that guy to simply overlook someone who is fresh faced and dewy eyed. You might be new here, but you ain’t a fresh fish in a big fucking pond of scum. You’re a big fish stepping into a river of seasonal salmon. Guys who drop in and drop out whenever they feel like it and demand the world gives them that. You’re stepping into my playground. Into my world. You’ve got the fucking workhouse of Sin City to run against in your first outing, and as good as you may be. As good as you think you are. As confident as you might think yourself. I’ve news for you, Del. Alexander Raven is the measuring stick, as much as the others may want to deny it. Jack wishes I’d go away but can’t acknowledge why I keep getting to the top. Austin James Mercer and I are joint at the hip, and as much disdain as there is there. There is a respect for two guys who don’t simply throw it in. The two guys who are here every fucking week to show up, put up or shut up. A mind straighter than a god damn arrow, and a world of things I need to prove. So you stand there, Del. Dubois. Iconic. Whatever you want to go by, and you listen up. You get ready to show up, or you get ready to be put down.”
“I’ve got my eyes on greater horizons, and you are just a step in my pathway. I feel for you, Dubois. I got lucky when I stepped into Sin City. I got to rip down Brandon Hendrix, a thorn in my fucking side. I got to settle my debts, and then I got to look ahead to blaze my path. A few stumbles, a few trips. Yet here I am, on the cusp of taking down arguably the greatest world champion that Sin City has ever seen. To be the guy who took his lashings, took the barbed words and whippings, and rose to the task. You beat me, you show the world you’re a player ready to take to the sky. You beat me, your stock hits the roof. You lose, it’s just another day at the office for us. I hope you are ready to show up, Dubois. I hope you don’t forget who you’re standing across from. I hope you are ready to step to the Napalm Kingslayer. Or else, you’ll just be another one of the forgotten.”
The flash of fire, the crackle of the cigarette lighting. A deep and sharp inhale, and he dropped his head into his hands. A hurting, broken man.
Get Out Damn Spot
Scene Three | Off-Camera
He’d told Luna he had to go and clean. He had to go and wash out the spot. He had to go and work it all out. She was going to stay with James, but for the first time in a long time. She asked him to call her when he was ready. She was holding it all together, and he didn’t understand how. He didn’t understand why.
“I love you, Lexi-baby.”
A soapy bucket, and a sponge. He didn’t even know what he was doing. He just let his mind work for him. Surely this would get the blood out. Surely this would wash out the stain. He was down on hands and knees. Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. The more he scrubbed, the more it seemed to seep into the floor itself. The more it seemed to stretch. The more it seemed to extend into the greater world beyond. Scrub, scrub, scrub.
“You look like you’re fighting for your life there, Mr Rabenschwarz.”
Sullivan.
He stopped; his knuckles were red raw from how aggressively he had been scrubbing. The floor was soaked, but it was still there. The dull red outline. The staining into the floor. He turned and saw Sullivan sitting at a stool by the bar. He looked… unhealthy. Moreso than usual. He had a rough scraggly beard, his skin seemed even tighter and stretched across his bones than usual. He seemed to be less than himself. He didn’t even have that usual uncomfortable smile. No, for once Sullivan seemed strangely… human.
“What do you want?”
Sullivan smiled a little and shook his head. Tapping a finger against his temple. A cigarette pulled from his suit jacket breast pocket. Seems like they’d all picked up that vice again.
“I want Harrison back. I want James to be okay. I want my friends to all stop hating me. I want to be, Sullivan Pleasant. The guy who does the dirty jobs. Everything is falling apart, Alexander. All those years ago, you found me. You picked me up out of the gutter and put me back on a path. We don’t see eye to eye, but I respect what you did for me. I respect what you did for Harrison, and Luna and James. We’re not good people, Alex. We’re not good people at all. But I try to be the best person I can. I let Harry go, because he deserves to be free. Not to be leashed to a hound master. But free to be happy and loved. Not stuck with me. I miss him.”
Harrison had officially gone back to Ireland. He had changed his number, and besides Luna. Nobody had had contact with him. That was his choice. Harrison had always protected Luna, and she had always had a soft spot for the man with concrete fists. The brawn to Sullivan’s brains. Things had changed so much lately, and they’d all fallen apart. Once so tight knit, now they were hanging on by a thread.
“I just wanted to say goodbye, Alex. I need to… find myself. Find a way to be happy with a new me. I promise, I’ll find out who did this to James. I’ll pass it on. You can do with it as you wish. Goodbye, Alex.”
He left. As quickly as he had come, he was gone. Something felt final about that. That goodbye, it wasn’t a see you later style farewell. It felt… final. Sullivan was an odd cat, but he was worried.
“I’m just the angel of death.”
And he cried.
