Wednesday morning.
The bright morning London sunshine drops down on to the skin of Ben Jordan as he sits in his new house in London, England, overlooking the river Thames. It was unseasonably warm in London, England but very few people complained about it and Ben was in that majority as he sips on his morning coffee. Ben looks up at the camera and smiles.
"Morning people." He says with a bright smile. "From the Isle of Dogs in lovely London."
He takes a sip of his coffee.
"It looks like I'm finally settled back home." He tells the people listening. "And who would have thought things would have come full circle to the point I'm back where I was born and that can put a lot of stress on a fella."
Ben tilted his head in a nod.
"And we're all open for stress." Ben says with a soft voice. "Now I'm guessing you're wondering why I would mention something like stress on a beautiful sunny day when the river looks lovely."
Ben points the camera to the river in front of him and the camera spins around to show the sun bouncing delectably off the waves and back to Ben's face.
"And the day is fine." Ben says with a side nod of his head. "But this is Wednesday morning people. and yesterday, there was a huge day around the world that I support, and I throw a lot of money towards the cause, because I've been there and I needed help."
Ben takes a few seconds to reflect.
"Yesterday was World Mental Health Day." Ben sighs. "And that is a cause close to my heart because everyone thinks someone like me is Superman..."
Ben turns his head and raises a finger to his lips before winking down the camera.
"But if that's the way you see me, even Superman can have his struggles." Ben says. "He can sit there in the fortress and replay every little thing in his head about how he could have saved someone but failed and trust me, it gets to ya more then men especially would like to sit there and admit."
Ben's face turned a little more serious.
"I get it, I've been there." Ben says sadly. "But yesterday was about pushing the awareness of the struggles all around the world so that mental health issues are not seen as a burden or something we can't talk about. It needs to be normalised to be able to say to your friend over a pint, mate, I'm struggling and not have the fear of your mate taking the Mickey and looking down on ya."
Ben looks away from the camera just slightly as painful memories of his own past return to his head. After a few seconds, Ben looks back down the camera.
"Nothing worse then feeling low and having the feeling that you can't speak to someone." Ben tells the viewers. "And I know some of you are sitting there that are struggling and need help and this is hitting home to you and I really hope it is. You can ask for help."
Ben sighs again.
"It's ok to turn to your wife, your husband, your daughter, your son, your mum, ya dad, ya brother, ya sister, your aunt, your uncle, your niece, your nephew, your grandson, your granddaughter, your friend, the guy at the bar, the guy at the bus stop, even a random stranger and say those words." Ben pauses just for a second. "I'm not ok and I need help."
Ben swallows hard as he turns his head away, looking towards the river without focusing on anything. He takes a deep breath before looking back at the camera.
"You're probably wondering why I'm talking like this and year, I get that, but I do have a reason to do so." Ben tells whoever is watching. "This part of things is where I introduce you to what I've done this week and yesterday, I did something to show people that I might be this cool guy in people's eyes and that people think opening up makes you weak, but I did something to show a group of kids that it's ok to talk."
Ben takes another deep breath before exhaling sharply.
"Yesterday, I spoke to the kids at Oasis." Ben says with a little smile as he thinks about them. "So roll that tape."
The scene opens with Jamie Dean, former SCW star and owner of the teenage charity Oasis. Jamie stands in an assembly hall on the stage as he watches a dozen or so teens shuffle in to the small hall and towards where he stands.
"Come on guys." Jamie encourages. "Let's take your seats quickly."
The teens listen and move a little faster, moving to the front of the room to a stage area with a big screen set up on stage. The group start taking their seats as a few more enter the room and Jamie encourages them to move to the front with a wave of his hand. He waits as they all take seats and gives them a few seconds to settle down.
"Ok guys, time for focus." Jamie tells them. "Today as you might have heard, is World Mental Health Day."
Jamie watches as a few nod, but a few look like this is the first time they've heard the news.
"Mental health is as important as physical health." Jamie tells them. "And you guys are likely to have suffered from it due to being homeless and the trauma that comes along with it and I know it's hard for guys to talk about these kind of things and it hurts us in the long run, so I have someone to speak to you about it."
Jamie clears his throat.
"On the outside, he doesn't seem the type, but he is proof that it's possible and they can be beaten." Jamie tells them. "So guys, say hi to my partner in crime, Ben Jordan."
A few whispers of delight was utters as Jamie picked up a nearby remote and pressed a button on it and Ben's face and upper body lit up the screen. The camera now changes to inside Ben's house as he sits on a sofa with a laptop open on his lap, his feet up across the leather sofa. He smiles and waves at the screen.
"Morning all." He says in a cheery tone. "Hope you lot are behaving yourself over there and not adding to Jamie's grey hairs right now."
He could see the audience as a camera was set up and see's Jamie frown as he took a seat near the front.
"I'm sorry I haven't checked in with you guys for a while but as you might know, I moved back to London so just getting my feet wet sorting things out here." Ben tells them. "But today, I do need to speak to you about something important and that is mental health."
Ben takes a deep breath and exhales sharply.
"Today is World Mental Health Day." Ben says. "And it's really important to take notice of that and take the chance to be a better person and make you feel like you're a better person, but let's talk about what mental health is."
Ben looks away for a second before quickly looking back.
"Mental health is really important because your brain is constantly overloaded with things, taking in sights and sounds and like most over worked things, at times, things can break down, it can stress you out, it could effect you in ways you don't expect." Ben says. "A lot don't see when people are struggling, it's not like a broken leg or something that's real easy to see, it's something much worse because no one can see behind the face we put on and it's a dangerous thing."
He looks at the people in the hall through the screen, watching them hang on to every word.
"And I get it." Ben says, talking from a place of experience. "It's hard for us to talk about it because we don't wanna be seen as weak, but I'm gonna show you lovely lot today that there's no issue talking about our struggles and I'm gonna tell you it's not worth putting things off to let them pass on their own, if you need help now, ask for it. Here's a little story about how things in the past can mess with your future if it's not dealt with."
Ben clears his throat as he thinks back.
"So there was this girl some years ago, and yes, I know a lot of stories start that way, but this one is true." Ben says with a smile. "I was bang head over heels for her and she brushed me off like I was nothing. Yeah there was some distance between us, but I would have done anything for her, would have walked to the ends of the earth for her, but no, kept at arms length and I didn't know why at the time. I kept wondering why not, I would give her the world and nah, wasn't interested at all, made excuse after excuse why we couldn't video chat and honestly, it turned me paranoid."
Ben grits his teeth.
"It stressed me, and made me anxious. I laid awake at night wondering why the hell not?" He says truthfully. "I couldn't eat because of this and it made me feel like I wasn't good enough for anyone. I stayed single because deep down, I thought I was a horrible person because of her. I let that effect me for a long time and it effected the way I saw people."
Ben looks at the surprised looks on their faces.
"It turns out it was a load of old flannel because I found out very recently that she was stringing me along." Ben says with a shake of his head. "Turns out she was married with kids all along and was just stringing me along to get whatever she wanted, as we'd say in the wrestling business, she was using me to keep her spot. That effected me for a long time and I feel that it played in to my long time depression and anxiety."
Ben sighs under his breath before continuing.
"I went through some dark thoughts with her." Ben admits. "I mean dark suicidal thoughts because of her because she made me feel less then I was worth and even to this day, I get up and feel less then I am worth, all because of her some years ago. Getting up feeling worthless because someone who was devoid of human emotions gas lit you before gas lighting was ever a thing, shouldn't happen, but it was a different time, I had no one to talk to about it."
Ben shook his head.
"I don't know if I even wanted to talk about it, because I felt embarrassed I'd been used by this." Ben admits. "But I really wish I had talked to someone then because I might have been happier, I might have stepped up for a much happier life where I didn't end up depressed in later life. Thinking back, it was stupid of me not to want to talk about it and deal with it."
Ben stops just to let things sink in.
"There was a lot of stigma attached to things through that time. People saying men don't talk about things like that because it makes us look weak." Ben says shaking his head. "Load of old pony because here I am openly admitting that I wake up at times and wonder what happened to my life. I wake up where I'm not ok, and I want the whole world to swallow me up and just leave me in some deep dark black hole where no one will find me, but here I am talking about it. There are days now I get my head off my pillow and it flops down again because I don't want to face the world and that's ok, cause we all have days like that, but you know what I do?"
Ben pauses for a second.
"I pick up the phone and I call Jamie, I pick up the phone and call Sammi." Ben tells them "And I talk, I talk and talk some more. They don't look down on me for that, they don't see me as weak or anything like that. They see me as human and human's are allowed to have days like that. It doesn't make us any less human to be human and admit that's something not right. You guys are at risk more, I was messed around by some bird who loved the attention but you guys have seen real stuff. Being out on the streets, being targeted has probably left some stuff in your head that is hard to deal with and you're keeping it inside."
Ben scans the screen looking for a change in faces to prove his point and spots one or two.
"And you're probably not talking about it because you had to be tough out on the streets." Ben says seriously. "But it doesn't make you weaker to sit there and talk about it. I know we set up things at Oasis where you can go and speak to Jamie about anything you want and I know that door is always open, and I know a lot of you are not using that option but I can tell you from first hand experience that it's great to be able to get a lot off your chest, to process all those heavy thoughts weighing you down and you guys are teens that have already seen a lot of hell."
Ben looks down sadly.
"But don't let this drag you down in later life." Ben tells the room. "Especially when you don't have to. I let that once incident drag me down for years of my life, took a long time before I could trust people again and it might have played in to my later life. I had a hell of a lot till recently, the dream lifestyle but frankly, my mental health played a big part in losing all of that and you know something?"
Ben takes a deep breath.
"I don't want that life back." He tells them. "I don't need the marriage, I don't need the big houses, the cars, none of those things are important if you can't wake up with a smile. Nothing is important if you can't wait up and feel happy and ready to chase the day and mental health issues, the past trauma, it holds us back. Not talking about it all and getting it out there in the open, all holds us back and you're young, you don't need this holding you back at all. You can be the ones in control of your head and not the other way around and I really wish I was all those years ago, I wish I was in control of my head instead of letting someone deep root trauma in my head."
Ben stops to let things sink in.
"I wish I dealt with it all a long time ago." He admits. "But I didn't and it effected my later life because I didn't think mental health was as important as physical health but it really is and on a day like today, where eyes are very much on it, you guys should see how serious it is and what it leads to. I've lost people in my life because of struggles with mental health, I woke up some days and thought people would be talking about me losing my battle with mental health, but I'm not because I spoke to people who helped me through it. I don't wanna add any of you guys in here to the list of people I knew that lost their battles with mental health."
He watches as the room look around at each other.
"I don't want you guys to be like that cause you think no one cares." Ben tells them. "But I care, and Jamie does too and I know there's a lot of people in that room you're sitting in that care about you, so if you're depressed, if you're down, if you're stressed, if you know something isn't right in your mind, please go talk to someone about it, please talk to Jamie about it. I've lost a lot of people in this world and I don't want any of you guys to be next."
Ben sighs as he looks at the screen.
"Mental health is no joke and talking about it doesn't make you any less of a man, it makes you more of a man." Ben says firmly. "So today, man up, talk to someone and if you're feeling good, ask someone else how they're doing because you asking someone that question, could save their lives."
Ben looks at their faces as he sees some nods in agreement and some hung heads.
"Thank you for listening to me, please speak to Jamie if you need anything, if you're down or just need to talk." Ben tells them. "You could save their lives and your own. Remember the world will be a lot less brighter without you in it."
Ben rubs his chin.
"You guys have a great day." Ben says with a warm smile and I'll check in with you all soon, I promise."
"Guys, give Ben a round of applause." Jamie tells them.
The group in the hall clap for Ben as he waves at the screen. Jamie clicks off the feed and the camera focuses on Ben, his head dropping as he puts his hands behind his head.
"I really hope I got through to just one person." Ben says with a sad tone. "I really hope I saved someone's life cause this mental stuff really isn't a joke."
The camera comes back to Ben sitting in the chair on his balcony overlooking the river, a sad smile on his face.
"If I got through to one person in that whole room, then I'm a happy man." Ben says with that sad smile on his face. "And you're probably wondering how I'm gonna link all that to what I'm gonna say about High Stakes because that is the part of the work we're up to people."
Ben runs his hand on his chin.
"There's a lot of hidden stuff to mental help that people don't really see." Ben explains. "They see that depression and anxiety can rob people of their routine, eating, sleeping, all of that, but they never sit there and think about why that happens. They just sit there and think it's the way things are and they're happy with that. Like most things, people don't like to scratch below the surface and find out what's really going on, but the reason these things suffer is one simple word."
Ben lifts a finger.
"Motivation." He says with a firm nod.
He puts his palms out flat.
"Motivation keeps us all going. It helps us get up, it helps us get things done, it helps us do whatever we need to do to get through the day." Ben informs people. "But when you have issues up here."
Ben taps the side of his head.
"It blocks the motivation." Ben explains. "And motivation is key for everything we do."
He pauses for a second.
"Now how does this link to Bill Barnhart." Ben says looking around. "I mean of course people have questioned Bill's sanity at times cause the age don't match the look and all that, but I'm not gonna go that route, it's a bit of a beaten path but I will admit, when I saw that card, I felt a bit of life draw out of me again."
Ben waves his hands around in a dismissive way.
"I don't mean that in a bad way." Ben says waving it off. "I mean it in terms of we've been there, we've done this match, I felt like my heart sank when I saw that I was facing Bill Barnhart again because I felt like I've done this so many times lately in mixed tag and single and sometimes, when a bloke feels like he has nothing to prove in their scenario, it does take away a little bit of motivation here and there."
Ben waits as he runs his fingers across his brow.
"I'm sure this was done just to get us on the card of the biggest SCW show of the year, the show that reboots SCW." Ben says appreciatively. "So I can thank Christian and Mark for that but seeing that on the card made me see, I need to find my own motivation to fire through things, I need to find something a little bit extra to kick on and it's right there under my nose. It's High Stakes XIII, the biggest show on the SCW calendar and I'm on it. That should be motivation enough and that's the way I'm gonna look at it."
Ben looks up at the clear morning sky, then back down to the camera.
"It is a big show and it is a big deal." Ben reminds himself "And although I feel like I've walked down this path a lot lately, me and Bill mixing it up, I feel that I could take this clay and mold it in to something to remember. Maybe I just sat there and thought when I saw this card, what else can me and Bill do? I mean between the Mixed tag contenders matches, the one on one, I couldn't help but wonder if we've gone to our limits but then it dawn on me, slapped me in the face like someone was wobbling around a wet kipper. This is High Stakes! What people don't get is High Stakes is like our superbowl, it's our Championship League final, there's magic in the air, a whole lot of magic in the air where us as wrestlers, we can feel it, we know it from the go home show. There's something a little different and a little special about it all. I know the fans feel it too, right?"
Ben waits as if he's waiting for an answer.
"Of course you do." He says with a smile "But as a wrestler, the buzz is immense. I've done it as a fan but as a wrestler, it's exciting, there's magic drifting through. So you guys might sit there and say its Ben Jordan and Bill Barnhart, we don't need to see that again. We've seen it a few times over the last few months, we don't need to see that again, but the truth is, this one is different. There's nothing on the line but it is High Stakes which means every match is gonna be special, every match is gonna be completely worth it. From opening to close, this show is gonna be proper. Bill Vs me might not look good on paper, but we don't wrestle on paper people!"
Ben can't help but smile at that line.
"Every wrestler is gonna give it their all and I will against Bill." Ben says with a firm nod. "And I'm sure Bill is gonna give ya a history lesson of things between us and stuff like that and tell you all the good things he's done in wrestling and all that malarkey, it's his style and that's fine people. Bill's thing is to remind people of stuff but me, my thing is to get you lot glued to the box and watching just what I can do and it might not look special, but it's gonna be people."
Ben pokes out his lower lip and nods.
"I know Bill has been slated by a lot of people for his old school style." Ben says honestly. "Because everything about him screams old school style, but old school style and people from that time, from that time of the business, they think a little bit differently to people just coming through. They know the game inside and out and what they do is they force themselves to be better, to have the not give up mentally. They have that inside where they think they might not score a win but you're gonna remember being in the ring with them and that's what makes that generation more dangerous then you might think. You can sit there and say he's too old fashioned to be in the modern game but with that comes a different way of thinking so Bill is in the category of he might get knocked down but you write him off at your own peril."
Ben wags his finger at the screen.
"And I won't write him off." Ben says honestly. "Many have and many have felt that bulldog bite, many have taken in their eyes shock losses because Bulldog would not give up on it all and I refuse to be one of those guys that take him lightly and get teeth marks in my jacksy. I know I'm thinking of my High Stakes moment, but I know Bulldog is too, he gets it, he knows this show has a lot of eyes on and he can use me to make an example of himself to the world. See what I mean about a different mentality?"
Ben taps his head with his forefinger.
"Young uns are thinking about all the people who will be watching, Bill is a guy who will blank that out, do his job and have a single moment where people say wow, rather then people trying to kill themselves for that moment." Ben explains. "That's what makes him a danger. He doesn't need gasping moments every two minutes to beat ya, he just needs one and it's game over but I'm not gonna let him get to that one."
Ben shakes his head.
"Me and Bill, we're in the same place career wise right now. We're a bit rudderless." Ben admits. "There's no clear plan for us, we're just good solid hands who can fill in when needed and have a good go at things, but we both know this show is our chance to change all of that. Our destiny is a little bit unwritten right now but we know this is where we can grab then pen and start to doodle, this is where we know we can start writing our own next chapter so don't be fooled by the fact it feels thrown together, this is gonna be the start of something big."
Ben leans back slightly in his chair.
"This is where either Bill or me start writing something new." Ben says with a stretch of his shoulders. "And I feel like I got a few more stories to write before I fill my days with eating bacon with Bear and walking through Island Gardens, nipping in the pub for a swift half and finding myself over at The Den to punish myself with some football and it all starts in a couple of Sunday's."
Ben waves his head from side to side.
"Bill, I know you see this as I do, and I know you're gonna bring your best because you always tend to do that." Ben says with a sincere look on his face. "But I'm gonna tell you mate, I'm gonna be the one writing my next chapter in a very positive note."
Ben looks down at his watch.
"Well my lovely lot, it looks like I'm out of time here, so we'll pick this one up next week." Ben says with a thumbs up. "You lot have a cracking week, Bill, I'll be speaking more about ya soon but you too have a good week."
Ben fires another thumbs up.
"And on a last note." He says with a more serious look on his face. "Reach out to your friends and family, let them know you're thinking about them. Don't be one of those people after the fact that knew they could have done more to change someone's life for the better and if you're struggling, please reach out to someone like MIND charity, Samaritans, or even a friend, hell, reach out to me."
Ben nods seriously.
"Until next time." He says with a sombre tone. "I'm Ben Jordan...."
He winks.
"Laters people!"
And with that, the camera fades.
