Chapter 15
The day he left.
Eleven Years Ago
I remember it like it was yesterday. The day the cracks first started to show in the facade of the wholesome family unit my father had created. The public image he showed to his friends, neighbours, workmates. The giant lie of a smiling, safe, loving family. The mask he wore as that of a great father. See, from the outside everyone envied him and us. They looked at his children and smiled.
Jaxon was sixteen – tall, athletic, good looking. Naturally gifted with blessed genetics from our father’s side. He never had to lift a weight or work hard to build an impressive physique. He was 6’5” at that age with more room to grow. He had jet black hair like myself and Amber, taken from our mother’s side. Amber was fourteen, I was eleven and Tasmin...poor, sweet little Tasmin was eight. She had platinum blonde hair and, unlike the green eyes that the three of us shared, she had bright blue eyes as beautiful as the mediterranean sea.
People saw us and the smiles we had. The forced ones that we had learned – no, been terrified into – to look genuine. All of us were actors of the highest order. Jaxon knew how to hide bruises and scars. Amber knew how to hide her inner pain. I knew how to look the other way. And Tasmin was lucky. She was oblivious...too young to see it. But one day, it all changed. The day we woke up to yelling and bellowing. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary.
“Where is the little cunt?!?!” Our father yelled as I heard something smash against the kitchen wall. I looked across the room to Tasmin's bed, her little head popping up startled. She knew about the yelling and screaming, but as far as anything else, she was untouched. Never feeling his unwanted touch, never seeing his hand strike mother or Jax. “His clothes are gone, he ain’t in his room. WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GO?” His voice bellowed again, I heard mother’s voice as she tried to lower the volume so we couldn’t hear. I shook my head at Tasmin and she laid down, holding her pillow over her head.
I heard Amber's door open. I knew she was standing behind it, looking through a small crack. Then I heard it. The unmistakable sound of flesh on flesh. My mother's body hit the floor. The thing is I didn’t hate my father at that moment. We all knew what he was like. I hated Jaxon. He left and didn’t care about the fallout. What we’d all have to go through. This had made father angry, and he’d take it out on mother, then get drunk and angry and then Amber would pay in a different way. Amber would make sure of it to protect Tasmin, but at the time I didn’t know it...at the time, I thought I was the only one.
Amber's door shut lightly. I still heard it, but I don’t think he did. No, father was too busy, too angry. I grit my teeth and growled under my breath. I switched off, I felt nothing. Even my hatred for my brother faded away for a time. The cracks were starting to show. He would have to explain where his oldest had gone...why he had disappeared. And we would all pay the price.
Present Day
My eyes flickered open, and I took a long, drawn out breath in, pushing my hands behind me and sitting up as the sunlight poured through the large bay window to my right. The light creeping along the floor in such a bright hue meant it was going to be a lovely day. But outside, being at the end of January in New York, it was going to be cold outside. Not as cold as it was the month before, but still cold as you step outside. I smiled. I didn't need to be anywhere, to do anything.
Maybe it was time.
I had given Finn space for the last month, since the Christmas party, since we fell asleep together after a night of just being us. I had to talk with him. I’d never been that vulnerable with someone. I was trying to be Kayla Richards, the bitch who never let anyone in. The woman who was closed off and cold after not having or needing anyone. I left that woman outside that bedroom. I left her out with everyone else. The truth is, Finn deserved better.
He deserved me
The real me, the little girl I hid away the first time the back of my father’s hand struck my cheek, the me that stayed locked in a cage as my childhood friend kissed me the first time we got high together and all I did was laugh at him.
He deserved to see me for me. And that had, quite honestly, fucking terrified me. And why shouldn’t it? I’m not a touchy, feely, loving person. I’m a cunt. But I’m a cunt [i\within[/i] reason. I do love my family. My sisters, their kids, even my friends in my own way. Crystal shits me to no end, and her life choices make me want to puke and I want to slap her upside the head.
But I care about her.
She’s my friend. But, Finn is different. Finn is special and I hoped without hope that he felt it, that he knows it and that when I go and talk to him he gets it. I pushed from the bed to the floor, sliding my feet across the hardwood, grabbing my white, silky dressing gown, quickly brushing my hair, ignoring the sinking need or want to put on makeup.
He could see me without it.
Anxiety.
I grabbed the door handle, stopping suddenly to look in the mirror and pump up the twins.
I mean, come on I’m not that secure in myself.
‘
The door opened and I turned right, moving down the hallway, toward the open plan kitchen, smelling some food – delicious food. Eggs, bacon, bagels. Good, he was cooking breakfast. The perfect time to sit and talk. I couldn’t help but smile. This was really it. Time to put it all out there. I stepped into the kitchen and looked up.
And suddenly, all of the good was gone and I felt my heart sinking. ”Who the fuck are you?”
This random blond, tall, skinny, blue eyes, pink lips, tanned skin, she was in the kitchen. MY[/u] kitchen. I could feel my blood boiling as she turned and smiled at me, flashing her bleached, machine whitened teeth, a slender hand shooting up as she waved her pink, manicured nails at me. ”Hi! I’m Emily!” She announced, in the most valley girl of voices I had ever heard.
My jaw clenched, my fists clenched, and I stepped forward toward her. My mouth opened, but before I could ask her who the fuck she was again, she stepped forward, head all bubbly and happy. “Oh my god, you must be Kayla, right? The black hair. Tats, smokin bod. Yeah, you’re Kayla…Finneh’s roommate!”
Finneh?
I blinked.
She continued.
Oh god, won’t someone shut it up?
“He told me so much about you. Like, you’re kind of abrasive or whatever. But Finneh said to try and ignore any mean stuff, you’re probably joking.”
Finneh?! What the fuck? Fucking FINNEH?
”But, you haven’t said anything mean, so I’ll have to tell Finnyehyou’ve been super nice to me. Or maybe he was just trying to scare me, IDK. You know how he is.”
I tilted my head, my neck popped in about seven different places as I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I ignored every single little need or want to rip her head off, cause, well, I needed answers. “So, you caught me at a disadvantage here, see you seem to know me, all about me…somehow. Yet, I have no idea who you are.”
She smiled at me and turned her head, confused, like a puppy. ”I told you, I’m Emily!”
Oh my god it’s special. I chuckled and nodded slowly. “Yes dear, of course you are. But I meant, who are you to Finn?”
Her face lit up and she uttered four words. Four simple words that would cause something to break and snap, and leave me devastated in more ways than one. She giggled and waved her hand like she was some vapid version of Malibu Barbie. ”OH! I’m his girlfriend.”
The last word echoed in my head for a moment. I couldn’t help but smile. Just stand there and smile. She turned, so flippant after delivering this information. Information that just ripped my heart out of my chest and smashed it, that destroyed every single moment of happiness that I had felt a few short moments ago. And everything just kind of…muted.
I nodded. I turned and I walked across the open floor plan to the windows across the living room and opened the sliding door slowly. My bare feet stepped first onto the cold, snow covered deck. I set my hand on the metal railing. My skin turned red wherever it made contact with the frigid air.
But I didn’t feel a damn thing.
New Challenges.
“What did I say?”
The English accent, the whispered tones, the dangling Internet title. It’s got to be Promo Time with Kayla Richards.
”I said Mercedes Vargas disappointed me and I was going to punish her for it. I said she shouldn’t get in the ring with me because I was going to end her. And you all let her get in there and fail again. What the hell is wrong with you people? SCW Management, the officials, the fans, the backstage interviewers – all of you are sick sadomasochists. It’s like everything I say just gets ignored. I told you all I was a new star, I got ignored and sat backstage after destroying “names”. So I promised I would be a champion, I promised I would be the Internet Champion and lo and behold. I won it.”
“I won it and then so soon after one great title defense, I lost it to a fluke and someone who never respected it, understood it or wanted it for anything more than a tick off an imaginary list. I promised I would take it back. And I did. I told you all Mercedes better bring who she was; if not. I would destroy her, and I did. At what point does this goddamn narrative you all have change from, “Kayla is an arrogant bitch”, to, “Kayla was right?” Huh? At what point do you all actually give me the fucking respect I deserve?”
“The thing is…it’s not just me. We had Kat Jones in this company and after she split we ended up with Eavan Maloney like that was a step up instead of a step sideways into lame territory and I’m left wondering, why the hell I even bothered to elevate this thing?”
“At least, that’s what I did feel until I looked up and noticed SCW finally sent me a challenger worth a damn. And trust me, I’m not knocking Bella, she’s a good kid. But I think you all know just as well as I do that being a baby maker full of Irish baby batter is much, much more her style than carrying a whole division on your back like I have. And I already told each and every one of you what Mercedes Vargas is worth.”
She scoffs, her hand grasped around the black leather strap of the SCW Internet Championship, a title she is more than proud to hold. One she NEEDS to hold, one she CRAVES to make better.
“But as I said, there seems to be light at the end of that very dark tunnel. And no, I don’t mean Ariana Angelos. The little Greek twit is someone who I already beat the snot out of and left in a sweaty heap of depression and broken dreams, I don’t really give two shits about her. I’m talking about the blonde ass kicker they decided to put in front of me first. Melissa. Or “Lady Goth”. That is the challenger I’m talking about. And, for some reason I don’t see more people getting excited about this and it legitimately confuses me. We have a woman who is a former Roulette Champion who clearly knows how to hurt people against the current reigning, defending Internet Champion, who technically has a loss to Melissa.”
“Yeah, technically being the keyword there against her, but it still counts in so many people's minds and hearts. See, Melissa, isn’t a joke, I know that, she can throw hands, she can beat the hell out of people, this is the kind of match that makes me wake up early in the morning, go for a run and chug raw eggs before eating my fuckin’ Wheaties.”
“See, I am not stupid enough to look past her. I might be arrogant, I might be self righteous and cocky. But Kayla Richards is not an idiot. And I am keenly aware that Melissa is coming for my head and will be so full of confidence after winning that Roulette title. Now, let me be perfectly clear since It will probably be brought up. No, I don't like the Roulette Division or the title, and my heart wasn’t in winning that, but I did put all my physical effort into winning it. I did everything I could to become the Roulette Champion and I lost, I failed and I own that.”
“So no, there was no excuse.”
She pauses and takes a deep breath before throwing the internet title belt over her shoulder, the leather of the strap hitting the leather of her black biker jacket. Her emerald eyes shining with extra color and fire.
”However, beating me down, making me submit, pinning me or knocking me out is a much tougher prospect than throwing me off some cables into a pool, Melissa. And, I’d like to think you’re not stupid enough to believe it would be, but so many times I have given opponents the benefit of the doubt and believed them to be of halfway human intelligence and so many, like SOOOO MANNNY times I have been let down like Nick Cannon's kids on their birthdays.”
“But, as I said, I am glad you have a shot at the Internet Title. I really am. See, I have been trying to legitimize this. I have been trying to make sure everyone stands up and takes notice of the Internet title. And since the end of July last year, that is what I have done. With one hiccup and a lot of me kicking ass, I have done just that.”
“And now, it’s your turn to step up, Melissa. It’s your turn to bring it and I actually want you to. I need that one big match where all those idiot fans see someone across from me who is dangerous enough to beat me. They didn’t get it and won’t get it with Ariana, they didn’t get it with Keira, or Bella. I begged and pleaded with Mercedes to do it. “
“And she failed.”
“You have carved this brutal reputation for yourself and broken free of the shadow you stood in. And while due to your relationship it's hard not to mention you and Goth together, well, you have shown that you are just as dangerous of a competitor as he is. Maybe even more. And when we get in the ring, if you come at me with everything you have, win or lose, at least I know I got the fight I was looking for. Just don’t suck. I’ve had enough of people letting me down and making me waste my precious time. In and out of the ring.”
She shrugs and looks down at the title again before continuing.
“I want to continue the run I’ve been on, I need it. And you, rightfully, want to end it. And while everyone else has had a chance, a small chance, you actually have this shining moment in the sun where you could get it done. Shit, I even admitted to it, in public, on social media, you are the biggest threat I have faced. I know that. Thing is, that makes me more dangerous than you can possibly realise. I know you could end everything I have built and have a better shot than most.”
“So, let me tell you a secret. I am willing to do anything and everything to stop that. And trust me, when I say this, as vicious as I have been – you ain’t seen nothing yet. I would step over my own Grandmother’s grave to be a champion, I would sell my first born, Melissa….so tell me…how far are you willing to go?”
