Author Topic: DOUBLE THE FUN  (Read 1887 times)

Offline Andrew

  • Match Writers
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1270
    • View Profile
    • Bill Barnhart
DOUBLE THE FUN
« on: February 02, 2023, 10:50:57 AM »
DOUBLE THE FUN FOR ME AND VINNIE

Narrator:  Although Bill lost his match to Helluva Bottom Carter at Climax Control 351 he told me he has respect for Carter for not giving up in their match and keeping the action going. Now, at Climax Control 352, Bill once again teams with Senor Vinnie in a Tag Team match against the team of Mac Bane and Godly Ken Davison. I will now turn you over to Bill Barnhart who is in San Jose, California, to be ready for Climax Control 352 at the Provident Credit Union Event Center.

IN SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA, AT THEIR HOTEL NEAR THE PROVIDENT CREDIT UNION EVENT CENTER, WHERE BILL AND BEA BARNHART, AND THEIR ENGLISH BULLDOG IRIS, ARE STAYING FOR CLIMAX CONTROL 352

The scene opens with a shot of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, at The Westin San Jose hotel. The camera person informs them they are live broadcasting so Bill and Bea get ready to air their comments.

Bea:  Bill offered to let me go first with comments. The first item I wish to comment on is the fact that Helluva Bottom Carter violated the rules of the match by attacking Bill while Bill was on his way to the ring and before the bell rang to officially start the match. Did everyone notice that nobody called a foul for cheating on the part of Carter including inaction on the part of the Referee? But when I inadvertently tripped Carter while he was on his way toward the ring to get inside the ring I got removed from ringside where I was legally there serving at Bill’s Manager? Huh? If you all don’t see the bias going on against our side of the wrestling ring then you’re all damn stupid!

Bill:  I know you’re upset that officials at ringside always seem to see things you’re doing when they rarely sees to see things our opponents are doing. That’s part of the situation being a wrestler in this line of work. Just put it behind you, Bea, and move forward. But please keep this item in your mind. My match with Carter was a Grudge Match so that allows for the rules to be stretched without fear of disqualification.

Bea:  Yes, okay, you’re right Bill. It just ticks me off that the officials don’t call things fairly across the board. There was no need for me to be removed from ringside as I was doing my job as your Manager. You continue with your comments, Bill, and I’ll jump in with my comments if I feel the need.

Bill:  Thank you Bea. My opening comments are directed to Helluva Bottom Carter. Yes, viewers, I know that me and Senor Vinnie are facing Mac Bane and Ken Davison in a Tag Team match but Carter deserves to hear my comments. Now, Carter, I didn’t appreciate your attack on me while I was on my way to the ring but it happened, the Referee let it slide as our match was a Grudge Match, and we cannot change what happened. I know you realize that it was a move that some would say makes you look bad for doing it, but that’s behind us now. The fact that we went back and forth, with both of us having the advantage and being on the defense, during the match, I admire that you stayed focused and managed to get the win. We both performed well and you managed to counter my maneuver and that put me in the position for you to get the win. Thanks for giving me a great match and I wish you continued success in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea:  You just said what? You’re being nice to your opponent who attacked you during your entrance? You have way more patience than I do Bill.

Bill:  Although we haven’t had a talk about the future of our wrestling I assure you that I have things working that will benefit both of us and also Senor Vinnie. Be patient and watch as everything come together.

Bea:  Going to be an interesting match for you and Vinnie at Climax Control 352. I’ll be in your corner as your Manager and I have no intention of having false accusations thrown at me to try to get me removed from ringside again.

Bill:  All will turn out as it needs to be Bea. Trust me on that. I’ve had my say to Helluva Bottom Carter but I need to address Mac Bane and Ken Davison for our Tag Team match.

TIME FOR A SHORT BREAK

Bea informs the camera person that they will take a short break to get something to eat then they will return to airing their comments for their match at Climax Control 352. The camera person informs Bea the camera feed is off and that the Network is running advertisements until they return from their snack break.

THE BREAK IS OVER. . .TIME FOR SERIOUS TALK
Live  broadcasting the comments from Bill and Bea for Bill’s upcoming match.

Bill:  To start my comments for Climax Control 352 I wish to let everyone know that I have a nickname other than BULLDOG that I’ve used on occasion. That other nickname is BUG ZAPPER. Yes you heard me correctly that I sometimes refer to myself as Bill BUG ZAPPER Barnhart. Why? It is because I often have to face opponents who are as disgusting as having mosquitoes, flies, and other annoying insects and bugs flying around being annoying. I like to refer listeners to go watch a video of how a Bug Zapper works. You hang it up, plug it in, and when the annoying bugs and insects fly into the light they get zapped. ZZZZZ!!!  Oh, man, I love the sound of annoying insects and bugs getting zapped. The next opponents that me and Senor Vinnie are facing, Mac Bane and Ken Davison, are like those annoying bugs and insects that fly around bothering people and me and Vinnie are serving as bug zappers to neutralize them. Welcome to the wonderful world of Bill BUG ZAPPER Barnhart!

Bea:  Nice analogy Bill.

Bill:  Thanks. As everyone knows I’m one of the most honest and truthful wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling and here I am being honest with everyone again. I’ve been involved in three matches against Mac Bane and I am 0-3 against him. However it should be noted that one of those losses was in the Blast From The Past Tournament. The two Singles matches Mac won the match fairly and that’s how the sport of wrestling goes. However, Mac, things will be different in our Tag Team match at Climax Control 352. As for you, Davison, we have yet to have a match against each other. Since this is the first time we will meet in a wrestling match I would like to inform you of your team’s upcoming loss to our team. No, Ken, I didn’t mumble my words. Flat out I informed you that your team is going to lose to our team. Deal with it as your team has no choice in this one. When this match is over I will be 1-3 against Mac and 1-0 against you.

Bea:  I’ll be watching closely to ensure that you two don’t cheat during the match and that nobody runs into the match and interferes. I plan on having a discussion with the Referee before the match to ensure they do their officiating duties correctly and that they eject the real problem causers instead of always trying to pin stuff on me.

INCOMING PHONE CALL

Bill’s cell phone rings and he apologizes for the interruption while he is commenting on his upcoming match but the call is from Senor Vinnie so he answers the call.

Bill:  Hi Vinnie! I’m in the middle of airing comments for our upcoming match so I put you on speaker so the viewers will also hear what you have to say.

Vinnie:  Before I make comments Pete the Cactus wanted to ask you if he could talk with Iris for a moment.

We see Iris perk up when she hears the name of Pete the Cactus and Iris runs over to Daddy Bill and Bill holds the phone up for Iris to talk with Pete the Cactus.

Pete the Cactus:  !!! !!!! !!! !! !!! (Great to see you Iris! Did you get the special poop bags I sent for your Daddy Bill to use when he takes you for potty break walks?)

Orange:  Woof! Bark! Snort! (Yes I did and they are wonderful! I love the imprints of cactus on the poop bags so every time I go out for a potty break I think of you.)

Bill:  I think that’s enough conversation for you two at this time. When we are all together in San Jose you two can talk all you want. So, Vinnie, what is your reason for calling?

Vinnie:  I wanted to let you know I’m pumped up for our Tag Team match and I want our team to win.

Bill:  However the match goes, Vinnie, that’s how I see it.

Vinnie:  Did you get the coupons for a free Brazilian Wax Job provided by my friend Lolita?

Bill:  Vinnie I’ve told you dozens of times I’m not doing a Brazilian Wax Job as I’m happy how I’m happy in that part of my body and I don’t want to endure the pain. Also I feel that your friend, Lolita, tends to be too “hands on” if you know what I mean. With all due respect he’s a really nice guy but I prefer not to have him fondle me.

Vinnie:  Okay, Bill, but remember those coupons for a Brazilian Wax Job by Lolita are good until the end of 2023. Let’s get ready for our match against Mac and Ken and kick their asses!

Bill:  That’s the plan Vinnie. Thanks for the call.

Bill ends the call with Vinnie. He looks over at Iris who has a sad look on her face and she’s whining because she wants to talk to Pete the Cactus again.

Bill:  Vinnie and Pete will be in San Jose soon and you can go on a dinner date with Pete the Cactus. Until then please relax and chill out.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Mac you talk a lot of shit and I guess you feel you are in a privileged status as you’ve held a lot of Championships in Sin City Wrestling. People like you tend to forget that along with the number of wins in your WIN column you also have a number of losses in your LOSS column. You haven’t won every match you’ve been involved in and nobody in this sport wins every match they are in. Having an inflated ego doesn’t mean you shit don’t stink. I hear the talk in the backstage area from the other wrestlers that when you go to the bathroom to take dump the stench is so horrible they call the police and fire department to come over as they believe there is a toxic spill in the building. Talk all the nonsense you usually talk about leading up to a match. Being over-confident is worse than being under-confident. Maybe you fail to see that concept now but soon you’ll realize you are chasing after invisible treasures. You have been informed and warned.

Bea:  Do you also have comments for Ken Davison?

Bill:  You are a joke in the sport of wrestling Ken. You have been lightly successful in the ring but most of the time it was due to someone doing something during the match to try to rig the match outcome in your favor and with that you emulate Mac. As I stated previously nobody wins all their matches in the sport of wrestling. Everyone takes losses also and that includes you. Be happy taking another loss to me and Vinnie at Climax Control 352.

Bea:  For sure if there is no cheating or interference for your opponents that you and Vinnie will win the match.

Bill:  For sure it will be double the fun beating Mac and Ken down.

Bea informs the camera person they are done with their comments then the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.