Caged
If I learned anything from my past, it’s that no matter how strong you feel, no matter how independant and powerful, there is always something in this world that can tear you down. It can be something as simple as a few words spoken in a demeaning tone from someone whose opinion you value. It can take a hold of you, it can pull you down into quicksand. And once it has you, once you feel it pulling you down, you know you’re going to sink.
You fight and fight and fight. But in the end al it does it make it worse.,
The more you struggle the more the feel restricted. The tighter the grip becomes. And then you feel it around your chest, your arms, creeping up your neck till everything is black. You can’t breathe, you can’t think and everything feels out of arms length.
When you hit rock bottom and you can’t go any further down you look up and it all seems to far away.
It’s that moment when you know your worth.
You can stay there, on the ground, suffocated by your failures and insecurities. Or you can stand up. You can stand up and scratch and claw and fight to get back up to the top. And if you get struck down again and again then it is on you to make sure you pull yourself back up. It is on you to push back against the obstacles in your way.
I am done letting everyone tell me about my mistakes, I own them, I face them. And I will walk away laughing.
Isolation
This was meant to be fun. A moment of celebration and enjoyment. SCW’s Summer Xtreme show. One that so many on the SCW roster looked forward to. An all expenses paid vacation. A working vacation, but a vacation. A cruise on a state of the art liner, swimming pools, sunshine, alcohol, great food and fan experiences. It had became a trademark of the SCW event calender. A show that everyone looked forward to as they all got to go and relax and recharge even as the event itself loomed over them.
But this wasn’t a fun time for Alicia Lukas.
Her closest friends were dealing with personal issues. From the death of Austins wife, to Alex’s injury, to Alicia's own struggles as she fought to put her life back together again. In reality a holiday is exactly what she needed. The sun, the sea air, a relaxing time. But instead of enjoying the activities offered on the ship, instead of partying it up like her younger sister Zoey Alicia locked herself away.
She kneeled on the floor of her cabin, her hands on her knees as she kept her back straight, her eyes closed. Long deep breaths passing in and out. In through the nose, out through the mouth. She kept herself calm and steady, taking her mind to a place of focus. The last few days, being on the Sun princess, she had gone to the gum early in the morning, she had her food delivered to her room, she spent her time studying, watching taupe and focusing on the task ahead. A brutal match of her own choice.
It all lay ahead. A cell, a rival and the violence that comes with it. A chance to close a chapter but also start a new one. A chance to show that mean streak and killer instinct that made her such a threat earlier in her career.
Have I lost it?
The question repeated in her head over and over again. Through conversations had with everyone at Wolfslair, from Johanna Krieger to Finn Whelan. She asked over and over again, did she still have that streak? Did she still have that need and want to be the best and that determination to strive forward? Did she still have that killer instinct to break everyone in her way to regain the world title?
It’s said the greatest opponent you will every have and the hardest rival is the person in the mirror, that self doubt. That insecurity.
And in Alicias case it was true. She had this feeling in her stomach, a feeling of fear that she was no longer the woman she was. And now, as if to prove that point here she was. Kneeling in her cabin, meditating and thinking instead of enjoying her time, enjoying the cruise. Her contemplation was interrupted as a knock came on her door. She sighed heavily and shook her head, she had no food coming, there was no reason for anyone to be there.
No phone call from an emergency, nothing. But then another knock and this time a voice.
”Hey…open up…” It was Zoey, Alicia growled and pushed up to her feet moving across the room to open her cabin door. ”Christ what were you doing?..” She pushed passed her older sister, stepping through into her room two drinks in her hands. She put them on the counter and turned looking Alicia up and down. Shew frowned and shook her head, Zoey was dressed in a black bikini top and black and red board shorts, she was relaxed with her hair slicked back. ”Have you been out of this cabin in the last two days?”
”I’ve been busy” Zoey scoffed not believing Alicias bullshit for a moment. Alicia just laughed to herself and folded her arms over her chest as Zoey grabbed the dronks offering one to her sister. ”No thanks..”
Zoey pushed the drink forward again. ”You’re kidding me right? We’re on a damn cruise ship, it’s a beautiful 90 degrees outside with a beautiful fresh sea air, there’s so many guys up there on that deck with six packs walking around and you’re down here in the dark?” Zoey paused and shook her head. ”You need to unwind….chill out…have a drink…relax..”
”Shouldn’t you be off trying to get Miles to cheat on his airhead girlfriend?” Zoey smirked and shrugged with an evil grin. Alicia stepped forward, not even stopping to enjoy her dig. ”In a few days I am stepping into a cell with someone I despise and I hate… I don’t have time to unwind or relax Zo….”
”So you’re going to stay with a stick up your ass?” Alicia raised her eyebrows, clearly annoyed at Zoey and her insistence. But Zoey didn’t back down, continuing as she stepped closer to her sister. ”You’re going to stay down here, get in your own head and you’re going to end up to uptight you’re not going to perform to the best of your ability…so take the fucking drink and come up to the deck with me..”
Alicia took a deep breath, she looked down and shook her head before grabbing the very sweet smelling orange colored drink taking a sip. ”Fine..” Zoey smiled and turned leading Alicia out of the room, Alicia followed holding the drink tight in her hand, the music and laughter from up above danced down the stairs to the cabins. The heat from the sun, the sea air, Alicia sighed happily and closed her eyes. Maybe this was how she would focus.
Turning a Diamond into Coal
”Do you understand why I’m doing this?”
She looks up, her long blond hair framing her face, her lips painted red and a black swipe under her left eye. Her “war paint”.
”Four years ago, as Honor wrestling lay dying, the name itself becoming just a faded memory. As SCW became the location for most of us to work, I vowed I was going to save the bombshells division. Save it from the aging legends that pretended to care. Save it from the women just here to collect a pay check and then go home. It was my own personal mission statement. See, when I join a company, I don’t just turn up and smile and go about my business…no that just ain’t me..”
“I study. I look at everything. From the state a division, company or championship is left in, to what preceded it. The champions who came before, how they conducted themselves and what they did for the good of the company and wrestling in general. And when I came to SCW you know what I found? I found women who, quite honestly, weren’t fit to lace my boots. I mean my god, the gauntlet match to crown a first champion in 2011 came down to women named Misty and Kitty. I half expected to be asked to perform on a fucking stripper pole before each match.”
“Shit somehow Amanda Cortez held the Bombshells title. Yes Amanda “I’m going to post my pussy on twitter” Cortez. Luckily I ran that bitch out of this company and off twitter. Y’all are welcome.”
“But, for every woman like Amanda, Misty, Kitty and Candy to grace the walls of SCW there have been real competitors, real champions. As much as I dislike her, Roxi Johnson is sopmeone who is a genuine champion, someone who lives eats and breaths wrestling. Same as Amber Ryan. This place has seen some amazing wrestlers pass through it and even those I dislike who I think are well passed their expiration date like expired milk…yes Crystal and Mercedes I mean you. Even they have their place in the SCW Bombshells roster.”
Alicia chuckles and places her hands on her knees, feeling the denim under her hands as she pushes to her feet and steps forward, looking out the window of her cabin.
”But you know who don’t have a place here? You know who should just pack up, take their shit and leave? Diamond and Ruby Steele. Along with the other two knuckle heads.”
She tuts and shakes her head again looking out her window at the beautiful day in front of her and the rolling waves of the beautiful blue water.
”The Gemstones. A group of four women who pretend to be musicians with two members who pretend to be professional wrestlers. It’s so nice that they were able to join us on Summer Xtreme and the cruise after Diamond decided to bug out on her responsibilities on the Queen for a day special. You know, I thought I got rid of Ruby, I did. See I put her through a glass table and I hurt myself to get rid of her, I destroyed my own body to make sure she had second thoughts about every stepping into an SCW ring again and for the most part I succeeded.”
“Until that is, Diamond…Kate..brought her back.”
“And what a return it was Katie, you bring your cousin back to SCW and talk her into a tag team match onto to get squashed like a fucking bug. So great of you. She walked away because she knew she wasn’t able to compete with the higher level stars and instead of letting Ruby enjoy her time away you pull her back in as your backup. Only to watch her get annihilated.Family right? Well, I have family too Katie. I have family that isd much much more talented than yours…”
Alicia turns on her heals and steps away from the window pacing around her cabin as her black and red leather ring jacket dangles from a chair behind her.
”I brought my sister in for two reasons. One, she needed to get her ass in gear and come back to wrestling. And two, I needed someone I could trust to watch my back since I knew damn well going after you meant you’d bring tweedle dumb, tweedle dumber and tweedle dumbass with you. But, based on how easily I have had your number the last month and a half I have to wonder why I should have even bothered? Zoey having a job is great and all. But I didn’t need her upon further reflection. Cause you? You don’t have it anymore Katie. And this match will prove it. I’m going to hurt you, I’m going to hurt you and take you out and I’m not doing it out of malice…”
“I’m doing this to help you.”
“I’m doing this to help the division.”
“And that, is also why I chose the Cell. See, not only will the cage stop the Gemstones from being able to help you, not only will it prevent people from being able to help you. But, it also means there is no running, no hiding, no escape. Once that door shuts, once the bell rings you are all alone in there with me.”
“You can’t get away..”
“You won’t get away.”
“And I am going to bring a circle of hell to you that you have never seen Diamond. Kate, whatever. I have had to deal with you and your extended family for far, far too long. Three years ago I put a nail in your coffin, when I defended my title against you and made sure you remembered you were never going to reach the level I had set, and I was done with you, done with your stupid ego, done with your attitude and piss poor stance on wrestling.”
Alicia scoffs, folding her arms over her chest.
”So, Summer Xtreme, a sun soaked wonderful cruise, a show where we connect with fans and get to have a relaxing holiday, it’s going to be your end. It’s going to be the moment I have waited for where I finally get to bury the “legend” of Kate Steele. I get to eradicate you and make damn sure people forget you ever stood a chance against me.”
“Your time is done Kate, and I’m going to use you to remind people just how dangerous I am.”
