“Why?” is the question I’ve heard.
“Did you forget about the shit she put you through?”
“Why HER, of ALL people?”
Trust me, I DO remember the mental breakdowns I had from my dealings with her… none more scarring than when I lost my shit three days after Summer XXXtreme 2020…
“CALM DOWN ANDREA…” my brother was pleading with me as I was surrounded by a bedroom full of debris.
“Don’t FUCKING tell me to calm down…”
I looked around my old bedroom at my parents’ home, looking for something else to destroy. My old bed was broken in half, the window was shattered, the closet door had been knocked off its hinges. Old clothes that I used to wear were all over the floor, many of them torn in half.
“You’re just going to let Evie control you like this?”
I grabbed an old softball bat that I had inside of my closet.
“Because that is what you are doing, Andrea. You have basically allowed yourself to become her victim. Do you really think it’s worth all this?”
“Do you think your ‘help’ is worth me taking this bat AND BASHING IT ACROSS YOUR FUCKING SKULL?!?!?!
“Andrea…” my brother said with a bit of shock in his voice. “I know you can’t stand the woman and that losing to her over and over sucks but…”
“It doesn’t just SUCK, okay? I’m FUCKING RUINED! I’m nothing but a joke to everyone in SCW now. I’m a ‘flash in the pan’. I’m just some Cinderella champion that got lucky. But the worst part about this is that I let the whole family down and now that I’m out of the world title picture, I’m RUINED! Evie RUINED ME!”
“It doesn’t have t…”
“DO YOU WANT THIS BAT IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, EDDIE?!”
I lost further control and used that aluminum softball bat to break a lamp nearby, dent the other closet door, bust a hole in the wall and break my old EasyBake oven I used to use during my childhood years.
“What is… OH MY GOD!”
I turned to see my mother standing there in shock, seeing the damage that I had caused.
“Don’t talk to the failure of the family… I’m nothing but a screw up! I’m worthless! All I do is let this family down. “
“I knew this wasn’t the right career for you…”
“I’ve got a bat in my hands you know…” I threatened.
“Andrea, having this massive breakdown over something like wrestling… It's mental. Maybe we should take you to a clinic an…”
“Mom…” Eddie interjected. “...no…”
“Let’s try to talk to her, okay. Andrea, how would Dad feel if he knew you let Evie have so much power over you?”
I lost it and threw the bat at his head. Thankfully, he ducked.
“You need HELP, Andrea…”
“I’m NOT letting you put her in a mental hospital…” my brother said despite the fact that I nearly took his head off.
“What do you suggest then? Because this behavior is not normal. I know that woman was cruel to her for months, but this isn’t how to handle this.”
“The best thing to do right now is leave her alone. Trust me…” my brother said. My mother reluctantly nodded as they both left me alone. I sat down, surrounded by all the debris that resulted in me losing my mind over the whole Evie Jordan situation that I had endured for months. Tears were flooding my eyes.
“I’m worthless…” I thought to myself, as I remembered both Summer XXXtreme and Into the Void and all of the awful things Evie had said to me for months as I recounted those words again and again. “I’m fucking worthless. I’m no good to this family. I’m nothing but a joke. I’m a failure. I’m nothing. Dad was right when he tried to keep me away from this business. I couldn’t beat Evie for my father or for my family… and I’m out of the title picture. She broke me… she took my career from me. I’m never going to be a champion in SCW again… never. I don’t ever want to wrestle another match again…”
It took me hours to finally calm down and come to my senses. Needless to say, this was the pinnacle of the ‘summer of hell’ I endured that had Evie’s name written all over it.
So after being driven to this point by my failures against her, how could I POSSIBLY even THINK of teaming with her?
That’s the question my family has been shoving down my throat this week…
“After EVERYTHING she put you through, WHY would you even CONSIDER having her as a tag team partner?”
I was absolutely unhappy when I was at my mother’s house and that was the first thing that she said to me. To make matters worse, Eddie was there too and he was shaking his head. Savannah, who joined me on the trip to Sedona, was feeling quite awkward herself. Lorenzo, who also joined me, seemed more annoyed than anything.
“Sweetheart, your entire family was with you the whole way when you dealt with that horrible bully and all the horrible things she said to you. She drove you mad to the point where you didn’t want to wrestle anymore. You nearly gave up your dream because of her. Yet, you want to be friends with her now? After everything your brother and I did to stand by you…”
“We’re not friends…” I interjected. “It’s just ONE tag team match. There’s no need to go off the Grand Canyon and cry about being ‘betrayed’.”
“You called her the ‘definition of all evil’ when you were dealing with her, remember that? You allowed her to define who you are. You allowed that entire experience to weigh you down for SO long and it made you act in ways you never would… such as cutting us all off for a long time… even MONTHS after she disappeared. Because of her, you acted BITTER for nearly a year and you took that out on everyone… especially us!”
“I turn 28 in a week, you’re not talking to me like I’m a child…”
“Maybe teaming up with the same person that nearly got you committed to a mental hospital is a childish move, Andrea…” Eddie added, much to my annoyance. I audibly heard Lorenzo sigh in the background. “You could’ve picked ANY other woman on the roster or in the wrestling business, but HER, Andrea? Sheesh, it seems like your winning streak is all you care about anymore. Maybe it’s getting to your head.”
“Maybe you and Mom need to quit overreacting!”
“I… kind of have to agree with them…” Savannah said meekly, much to my surprise. “After all the horrible stories you told me about her and how she ruined your career, I’m disappointed that my big sister would do something like that.”
“I get that there was probably nobody else available and that she approached you, but Evie doesn’t give a shit about you. She never did. She only cares about Seleana and making her bleed. It’s the only reason why she is teaming with you,” my brother added.
“For FUCK’S sake, will you people just leave her alone?” Lorenzo angrily interjected. “Her career is none of your damn business. You people are fortunate she even shares her career with you at all when you’re nothing but a bunch of glorified cheerleaders anyway!”
“Shut the fuck up, Lorenzo…” my brother added. “What the hell does my sister see in you anyway?”
“At least I got BALLS, which is more than I can say for you, momma’s boy!”
“Hey… HEY… enough…” I said, intervening and starting to feel annoyed myself.
“You’re a grown woman that knows what you’re doing…” Lorenzo said. “I’m not going to stand for this bullshit of being ganged up on when none of you even know what goes through the head of a professional wrestler of Andrea’s stature. You ungrateful bastards! She busts her ass to put smiles on your faces and this is the shit you give her all because you don’t agree with something she does?”
“Lorenzo… I got this, alright?” I said, trying to keep the peace.
Lorenzo threw up his hands, showing some clear frustration with the situation before he exited the scene.
“Now if you’d all allow me the opportunity to EXPLAIN… which you didn’t even give me a chance to do… I’d be glad to explain. It’s WAY better than blowing up my phone and jumping down my throat. Sheesh! I get you want to protect me because of what happened before, but CALMANSEN!”
My family didn’t seem thrilled with me telling them to calm down in Spanish.
“Alright…” Eddie said as he sat down on the couch.``I still find it odd after the shit we all went through because of how she treated you before that you’d want to work with her. But hey, explain it to us.”
“Eddie…” my mom said with a sigh. “We’re not entertaining this!”
“She’s not wrong. We did just jump down her throat. We invited her over for a family gathering and instead of being nice to her we did react with hostility. Sorry, Andrea. It’s just… What happened with Evie affected us too. It hurt like hell seeing you go through that because of her. So, by all means, explain what you’ve got to explain.”
“Fine… you’re right…” my mother said with a reluctant sigh.
“Simply put? I’m just doing what I need to do…” I explained. “You both know Christian Underwood doesn’t like me very much. Who is to say that he wasn’t going to saddle me with a partner such as Bea Barnhart, Kaiju Rainbow or Adrienne Beaufort to make it harder for me to win that tag match? I did EVERYTHING I could. I asked around. I went to Amber. Nope. Mikah? Too busy with Blast from the Past. Chelsea? Wasn’t comfortable. Myra? Wouldn’t do it. There was literally nobody else I could’ve gone to…”
“That’s what happens when you burn your bridges, honey…” my mother lectured, much to my annoyance. “But go on…”
“I was NOT going to take the risk of allowing Christian Underwood to have a LOSER like those that I mentioned team with me. So when Evie came to me out of nowhere, I figured that, even though she hasn’t wrestled in more than a year, she was still a better choice than whatever alternatives were floating out there. It’s not rocket science. I did what was best for ME, everything else be damned. I’m not losing my winning streak because Chloe Benton got pinned. Fuck that.”
“From a business standpoint, I understand…” Eddie responded. “But this is still EVIE we’re talking about…”
“I understand you’re all looking out for me and I know that for you and Mom specifically, seeing me go through that was hard. But, as Savannah can tell you, I’m over it. She was right there in the room with me when I decided I was done being Evie’s victim. I get that what happened hurt you too, but there comes a point where we have to heal and move on. That’s what I did. I’m over it. She’s as self-absorbed as they come, sure, but I’m over what happened.”
“That’s good that you are, but does this mean that you are going to be best friends and everything? Because that would be weird…” Savannah asked. I could only laugh at this for a bit.
“Save the questions for Angelica, she’s my personal interviewer.” I said with a laugh.
“Still… you know…”
“I don’t necessarily LIKE her… I mean sheesh, even when she approached me about teaming up with her, I STILL wanted to punch that bitch in the face, you know? But at the end of the day, she wants to get her hands on Seleana and the enemy of an enemy is an ally as far as I am concerned… unlikely as this one may be, admittedly. Besides, if you REALLY think about it… she’s a saint compared to Crystal…”
My mother makes a fake vomit sound, Eddie cringes and Savannah shudders upon hearing that Crystal Hilton mention.
“Evie’s a bitch, but at least she didn’t try to force her way into your life like Crystal did…” Eddie reminds me.
“You got that right. Besides Eddie, at one point? You were a wrestler too. You know how it is. It’s like Dad taught both of us… in this business, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do in order to stay ahead. If that means working with the same person that put you through one of the worst hells you’ve ever been through in your career, then so be it. Both of us want the same thing in getting our hands on Seleana Zdunich and hey, fucking up Crystal Hilton is a pretty damn good initiative to win this match too.”
“I don’t like it when you are right about something that I don’t agree with…” Eddie began, “and I really HATE to admit that you’re right about THIS, but… you are. I get it.”
“All I am going to say is watch your back…” my mother warned. “You know how she is and you know that in the blink of an eye…”
“Mom…” I said with annoyance.
“What? I can’t protect my daughter?”
“I’m about to turn 28…”
“I’m still your mother and I’m still going to look out for you when I can.’
I sighed and rolled my eyes at this, but I couldn’t exactly hate my mother for looking out for me.
“I’m just worried that she’s going to turn around and stab you in the back. She didn’t treat you right before and just because you’re teaming up with her one time, that doesn’t mean she’s going to treat you any differently. I never want to go through that experience that I went through that summer when you went through those difficult times with her…”
“I won’t let it happen… if it comes to that.”
“It probably will…” Savannah interjected.
“It won’t…” I assured her, with a tone of confidence that surprised my family.
“How can you be sure?” Savannah asked. “You sound WAY more confident than you should be with that.”
“Trust me, I know there won’t be a repeat of what happened before. That’s all I am saying about that. I’ll be back…”
Before I turned and walked out of my mother’s house, I could see the worry on my mother’s face, the skepticism on Eddie’s, and the lingering disappointment in Savannah’s. I understood WHY they felt the way they did, but inside, I was confident that I knew what I was doing. I walked out of my mother’s house and saw Lorenzo hanging out on the steps. He still seemed annoyed by the confrontation.
“It’s all squared away…” I told him. “I got them off my ass.”
“Good…” he said without hesitation. “They had no right coming down on you like that. I get that they’re looking out, but you’re doing what has to be done. No offense, but I can’t stand your family sometimes.”
“I’ve never seen you so upset…”
“I’ve come to really care about you the last few months, that’s all I need to say about that.”
I leaned into him with a soft embrace feeling touched that he cared about me so much.
“It’s alright. I understand. Thanks. I’m over that past and I know damn well that there’s no way that could ever happen again. I’m glad YOU have faith in me…”
Lorenzo and I had the next half-hour to ourselves doing everything we could to put the family drama that just happened behind us…
It would not be a visit to Sedona without stopping by my father’s grave. Of course, I was thinking about how he would’ve seen the situation had he been alive today.
“You taught me how to stay ahead of the game no matter what I had to do…” reflected. “Even though you know what Evie put me through, I KNOW you would understand why I’m doing what I’m doing and you would’ve approved of it without hesitation. You are the only one that would’ve fully understood. It was not an easy decision for me, Dad. But at the end of the day, I know I’m doing the exact same thing you did when you were a wrestler. After all, were you not “friends” with Crystal’s father down in Mexico back in the day?”
I took a pause and scoffed at that notion while retaining the disgust I had when Crystal showed our fathers in a picture together.
“We both know you only tolerated him and never liked him, Dad. You never admit it, but I could tell that you just used him to advance your career or to stay ahead of the game. Maybe in another time, you would’ve never wanted me to team with Evie after everything that has happened, but somewhere up there? You know I am right and you know I am doing exactly what you taught me. You’re proud of me for this decision, aren’t you Dad?”
There was a pause for a moment before I felt a warm breeze pass over me. I could only smile knowing that this was some form of acknowledgement from him that he was with me on this and that I was doing the right thing in his eyes.
“I knew you’d see it my way…”
With that, I smiled some more as I turned and left his grave. Internally? I had no concerns or doubts that Evie and I were going to make a hell of a team in spite of the brutal history we have with each other…
I was in another graveyard, but this one was more of a Halloween-style graveyard where I was standing between two, large paper-mache headstones. Each had their own engraving with the one left of me saying “Crystal’s Importance” and the one on the right of me saying “Seleana’s Relevance”. I was absolutely confident as I began to express my thoughts.
“We are gathered here today to pay our respects and remember two things that don’t exist in SCW anymore. You see, there was a point where Crystal and Seleana were at the forefront of the Bombshells Division but obviously, that’s not the case anymore. Crystal may have been the previous world champion BUT… let’s just say it hasn’t worked out well for her since she lost the title. She had ONE chance at High Stakes and of COURSE she blew it, but the bigger story here is Evie Jordan and I being a team. How the FUCK is that going to work out? Simple. A common goal. We both want Seleana’s blood on a platter and that’s what is going to happen. It’s a damn shame that I have to see that vomit-inducing face of Crystal’s again considering a history I don’t want to relive or reprise at any point in the future, but it is what it is. Speaking of the most melodramatic, two-faced, attention whore in SCW history, how’s it going, Crystal? Still struggling to find your importance in this company ever since Amber Ryan beat your ass for the world title at Blaze of Glory last year? It’s PATHETIC, yet SO YOU, that you come out with this LIST of Bombshells that you want to defeat so you can ‘right some wrongs’ that these Bombshells did to you.
PREDICTABLE… just like your Twitter game or any promos you put on the air these days.
You want to act like you’re IMPORTANT, but the truth of the matter is, you’re not… at least not anymore. I mean, if you WERE important, you wouldn’t be so desperate to have this list to begin with, which by the way, it’s a damn joke to begin with. I can’t even remember the last time Alicia did something to you, Amber is really because of the world title. Mikah is mainly because of the fact that she’s beaten you HOW many times? And then the BIGGEST joke of all is that I’M on the list. REALLY? I’M on the list? Because of how I wronged you… TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO? I HATE to bring this up, but I’m going to have to. High Stakes 2020. That was the last time I lost a match and it was to you with that whole “I Quit” humiliation. That was YOUR moment where you got your revenge for all the bullshit I put you through. I am woman enough to admit that. We haven’t faced each other since… until now… but you want to ‘right the wrongs’ that I did to you… WHEN YOU ALREADY FUCKING DID THAT?!?!?!?! Did I hit you in the head one too many times during that match or something? I mean SERIOUSLY… it makes NO fucking sense. You want to come after me for things that you already got revenge for when you humiliated me at High Stakes. How the FUCK does that make sense, Crystal? You fucking tell me that? It DOESN’T! But hey, you figure that using my name to make yourself relevant like you did two years ago is going to work for you all over again, right? Nah, it’s not going to work that way. There’s no question that you NEED ME to feel IMPORTANT again, but I have a theory… TWO theories… in fact, of why you have me on your list…
Theory number one: You want to run up the score on me because for SOME reason, even though I suffered the WORST loss of my SCW career against you at High Stakes 2020, it STILL wasn’t enough for you. What’s that? Crystal isn’t satisfied enough? WOW! GASP! SHOCKER! The biggest ego in the entire fucking wrestling business strikes again. I was happy to leave things alone, but now you’ve gone ahead and pissed me off with your bullshit because going into this week, I’m taking that shit as an insult not because you actually matter to me, because I’m not going to let ANYONE try to run up the fucking score on me and if that’s what you want to do in this match, so be it. But I’ll tell you one thing: it’s going to backfire HARD on you this week. You need me to justify your importance. I had gone SO long without mentioning you or even THINKING about you, yet you have me on your list. When are you going to start charging me rent for living in your head for free for two years, huh? Then again, anything with “free” and “head” in the same thought isn’t new to you if you ask Seleana and Alexandra Caldwell…
Theory number two: I’ve had it better than you since that match by a wide margin and you know it…
“BUT I WON THE WORLD TITLE”, bitch shut the fuck up. The only thing anyone remembers that reign for is being the bridge to Amber Ryan. Notice how nobody talks about that reign anymore.
I’ve gone FIFTEEN MONTHS without a loss, Crystal. FIFTEEN MONTHS. I WON my Internet Championship. You may have won the match at High Stakes, but it was ME that won in the end. I’ve grown to be SO much better than you and to be so far ABOVE you that until NOW, I’ve never had a reason to even THINK about you. Your ego can’t handle the fact that I was the real winner in the end and THAT is why you have me on your garbage excuse of a list. Get some psychological help with that obsession you’ve had with me for two years. I’ll never be your third wife no matter how bad you CLEARLY want it. You’ve got nobody to blame but YOU for losing ALL of your importance in this company ever since your last title reign that nobody remembers for shit!
But hey, at least that title reign is still more relevant than YOU, Seleana. What the FUCK is WRONG with you? I KNEW that you were nothing more than a fluke contender that was fortunate enough to face the right competition to even get the title shot against me, but COME ON! REALLY? On WHAT planet did you even DESERVE to be in the Internet Championship conversation to begin with? If you were facing ANYONE worth their salt… and I don’t consider Bea or Dani to be worth their salt right now, there’s no WAY you’re the number one contender. You’d most likely be what you were when Jessie Salco won her shot: taking the pin and being on her back… which, of course, it’s nothing new for you considering how you’re ALWAYS the bottom bitch in your piss poor excuse of a relationship and you always will be. Even when you WERE relevant, you were always seen as Crystal’s sidekick bitch and that reputation has gotten even WORSE since you lost the Roulette title to Do Nothing Krieger. You had your ONE moment of glory when you won that title shot against me and since then?
You’ve done three things.
Jack. Shit. And Lose.
You lost to DO NOTHING KRIEGER again and I didn’t even have to interfere for that to happen and then you lost to Diamond Steele. Two matches to prove that you were a threat to me and you lost them both. Unbelievable! You do realize that it’s not just the champion that represents the championship and the division, right Seleana? It’s the number one contender that does that too. When you go out there and when you’re LOSING MATCHES like you have ever since you got that title shot, you make the Bombshells Internet Championship look bad and hell, you make ME and my credibility as the champion look bad because a champion is only as good as her contenders and I am starting to get fed up with the weaksauce I’ve been served that has your name on it and Jessie’s name on it. I’ll even go as far as saying that my own partner in Evie Jordan, who hasn’t wrestled in FIFTEEN MONTHS, deserves an Internet Championship shot more than you do at this point. I am disgusted with you not for your personal life decisions and whoever you choose to get married to, but for the fact that you just don’t seem to give a shit anymore. When Johanna took that Roulette Championship, it’s like you lost your give a shit for this business too. After the last time I faced you one on one and defeated you, you went into a tailspin.
I mean seriously…
I wonder how much of your struggles that you have had ever since High Stakes 2019 for the most part can even be blamed on anchoring yourself with the biggest piece of shit that has ever existed in the history of the Bombshells division at this point. Maybe it’s not even that. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never been a woman in this business that has ever grasped the concept of what greatness is. Hell, fuck that. These days, you can’t even grasp the concept of what MEDIOCRITY IS. I mean for fuck’s sake, the way you’re going, you might as well have replaced Jessie Salco herself as being the Jessie Salco of the Bombshells division. Maybe you’re leaning too much on the “ZDUNICH BRAND”, a brand that honestly carries less of a meaning or a significance these days than the earthworms burrowing in the dirt beneath my shoes.
ZDUNICH THIS, ZDUNICH THAT, ZDUNICH EVERYWHERE! My god, I’m no stranger to sharing a roster with overhyped, empty-headed, charisma vacuum “LEGENDARY WRESTLING FAMILIES” or anything but the ZDUNICH BRAND is the latest one of those that are becoming obsolete FAST and YOU are to blame for that. You’re a fucking disgrace to your fucking family, Seleana. As a champion, I was hoping for VIABLE contenders that were going to be a threat to my winning streak, but instead I have to settle for people like YOU? Who the fuck are they going to think of next? Fucking CANDY? STEP THE FUCK UP SIN CITY WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP COMMITTEE!
I’m HELLA CONFIDENT in Evie and I winning even with the past that we share because if there is ONE advantage that we BOTH have is that while we do both carry a family brand of our own, we’re NOT A ZDUNICH and thank GOD for that! The ONLY way that you two even stand an IOTA’S CHANCE of winning is if we fall apart and that’s not happening. Call it a hunch, but nope, Evie and I are going to wreak havoc on both of you fake ass, two-face, increasingly unimportant disgraces to the professional wrestling business. PERIOD! Seleana, this Sunday? It’s a preview of your inevitable reality at Blaze of Glory in a couple of weeks and that’s the fact that you never WERE, currently AREN’T and NEVER WILL BE at my level!
It’s going to be WAY too much fun proving why you don’t belong on the same level as me, Seleana. And I guarantee you that by the time Blaze of Glory hits, whatever momentum or confidence you may have had going in will be completely NON-EXISTENT!
And THAT, by the way, is a message I WILL ALWAYS approve of!”
I give off a scoff before looking back at the two graves beside me. I roll my eyes in an amused manner before I walk over to the camera in front of me to shut it off with the satisfaction of knowing that I didn’t pull any punches going into the Blaze of Glory go home show.