BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT QUALIFIER
Narrator: Bill Barnhart and Masque are facing Kat Jones and Mark Cross in the Blast From The Past Tournament. Winning this Qualifier match advances Masque and Bill into the next round of the Tournament on their way to winning the Tournament.
SHOPPING AT KROGER SUPERMARKET
The scene on our screen changes and we see Bill Barnhart at the Kroger Supermarket on the corner of Cruse Road and Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The camera person assigned to Bill follows him around the store while he shops.
Bill: While most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling like to show you their sparring matches, or them having a drinking party where they get drunk, or male wrestlers intimidating and attacking women, or some other things that come across as the same old thing being the same old thing, I’m original, and honest, and willing to show you my real life adventures in addition to my wrestling abilities. Although I’m a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling I’m also a citizen of the community where I live. I shop at this Kroger Supermarket in Lawrenceville all the time. When I’m purchasing a lot of items I’ll drive my vehicle here to load my purchases in. If I only have a few items to get the walk from our house to this Kroger Supermarket is about five minutes. So please sit back and relax and watch me shop as I enjoy shopping. I’ll get to my comments concerning our Blast From The Past Tournament match at Climax Control 322 after I return home from shopping.
While going up and down the aisles Bill sees a young mother with three kids ranging from 1 year old to maybe 4 to 6 years old. She is looking up toward the top shelves, and it is obvious she is not tall enough to reach items on the top shelf, even more so with three young kids to attend to, so Bill stops to offer assistance.
Bill: Hi. Is there anything I could help you get from the top shelf since you have three small children to watch while you’re shopping?
Woman: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP?
Bill: Geez! No need to be a asshole about it! I’m just trying to help out in case you need something off the top shelf. It is hard for anyone to reach up to the shelves and even more so when you have three young children to take care of while shopping.
Woman: I DON’T NEED YOUR F*CKING HELP!
Bill: What? Gawd! I hope you’re not married! Wouldn’t want to know that some poor man has to put up with your bitchy attitude all the time. This is the thanks I get for offering assistance to you? That’s messed up!
The woman storms off down the aisle and disappears when she turns the corner. Bill continues his shopping and when he turns down one of the aisles to browse the products he sees the woman again and this time she’s on her cell phone. Since she’s talking with a man on speaker mode Bill assumes the person she’s talking to is her husband. Bill stops and listens to the conversation.
Woman: THERE’S SOME GUY HERE IN KROGER ASKING ME IF I NEED HELP TO GET SOMETHING OFF THE TOP SHELF. DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED F*CKING HELP? WHY DON’T YOU COME HERE TO KROGER AND KICK HIS ASS!
Knowing the woman is on speaker talking with her husband and telling him to come down to Kroger to confront him and attack him Bill gets into the conversation.
Bill: Ooooo so you’re telling your husband to come to Kroger and attack me huh? Yeah come on down here and try to attack me and I’ll lay your ass out in the aisle while your smart ass wife watches. I did nothing wrong except offer to get something off the top shelf for her as she has your three young children with her while she’s shopping. Your wife goes off on me, then you go off on me, then you threaten me? Bring it on because if you lay a finger on me I’ll knock you out and you’ll be arrested by the police.
Bill listens for the woman to confirm that her husband is coming down to attack me. After Bill hears her tell her husband not to come down to Kroger as he is likely to get hurt badly by Bill the woman hangs up the phone and tries to apologize to Bill.
Woman: Uh. . .uh. . .I’m really sorry about what happened. It isn’t easy to do grocery shopping with three small children coming along. My husband isn’t much help taking care of them. Can we just part and go our own way and forget this happened?
Bill agrees as he feels bad that the husband of this woman is a jerk. The woman walks to the checkout lane to check out. Bill continues shopping and when he’s done he goes through the self-checkout and pays for his items. The camera person follows Bill into the parking lot. After Bill loads his Hyundai Santa Fe with his purchases the camera person gets into their car to follow Bill to his home where they will continue to air Bill’s comments for his Blast From The Past Tournament match.
BACK AT BILL’S HOME
Bill and the camera person arrive at Bill’s home in a very short time since Kroger Supermarket is less than a half mile from his home. Bill brings his purchases into the house while the cameraman sets up their equipment in the living room. The camera goes live and the camera person focuses on Bill as he puts his purchases away. When Bill is done he walks over and sits on the couch. Bill is then joined by his wife, Bea, and their English Bulldog Iris, on the couch.
Bill: Iris I need to ask you something before I go into my comments for my upcoming match. When Pete the Cactus called you for a video call this morning how come I heard the music YOU ROCKED ME ALL NIGHT LONG by AC/DC play?
Iris turns her face away from Daddy Bill.
Bill: I know you were in the house all night but for you to have that song play when Pete calls you for a video call is not appropriate as it gives people the idea some stuff is going on that shouldn’t be going on. So, Iris, what are you gonna do about it?
Iris lets out a groan then shoves her head under Daddy Bill’s arm and Bill pets her and Iris calms down and lays her head on Daddy Bill’s lap.
Bea: Iris we’ll have a talk later. Right now Daddy Bill needs to air comments on his upcoming match.
Iris: *SIGH*
THE KEY IN THE BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT IS HAVING AN OUTSTANDING TAG TEAM PARTNER
Bill: Holy Sh*t Batman!!! I knew Masque was talented, interesting, dark, and aggressive, but now after hearing her comment on our upcoming Blast From The Past Tournament match against Kat Jones and Mark Cross. . .well. . .I guess the only thing I can say is I feel a bit sad for Mark and Kat having to face our team. Sure is a great feeling to have a fantastic Tag Team partner in Masque.
Bea: I echo your comments Bill.
Bill: I want everyone to know how thrilled I was when the drawing of names to create Tag Teams for the Blast From The Past Tournament gave me Masque as my partner. For those who may not have seen Masque in action I’ll give you an idea what she’s about. Everyone is familiar with the ZZ Top song LEGS. The lyrics of the song go She's got legs, she knows how to use them, She never begs, she knows how to choose them. I’ve modified their lyrics to fit my fantastic tag team partner Masque. My version goes She’s got skills, she knows how to use them. She never begs, she knows how to choose them. Masque proved that against Kaiju Rainbow recently. I’m confident when the Bombshells get tagged into our match Masque will make quick work of Kat Jones and we’ll win the Blast From The Past Tournament match then go on to win the overall Tournament.
Bea: I can see Masque applying the Mandible Claw on Kat. Then the next thing is that Mark, who is freaking out over the loss in the match, will violate the rules to try to get Masque to release the Mandible Claw she has on Kat. Unfortunately that will either lead to a Disqualification of their team or Bill getting tagged in and whupping the crap out of Mark Cross.
Bill: Some people get paired up with a partner who is totally insane and blows the match for them. Some get paired up with someone who is violent but lacks other skills in the ring and they blow the match for them. Others get paired with someone who cheats and gets their team disqualified. The list goes on for a long way. But me? I got teamed with Masque. She’s a great all-around wrestler. She has great wrestling skills. Some try to classify her as possibly insane. Some claim she might be too violent in the ring. There are some who make claims that she cheats. I’ve done research and I find that Masque may be a little bit of each of those but she has something that maybe one in ten wrestlers has. What is that you ask? The ability to focus on winning wrestling matches. The ability to take out opponents. The ability to intimidate others. The ability and desire to win. Masque is a unique wrestler in that she is everything you want her to be but if you’re her opponent she is everything you wish she was not. I was blessed in the draw for teams for the Blast From The Past Tournament with the draw of Masque as my partner.
Bea: I totally agree with you Bill. Would you tell the viewers why you’re different from most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling?
Bill: I don’t copy other wrestlers. I have my own style and I do my own thing. I’m one who became successful because I don’t back down from anyone. I don’t back down from anything. Nothing intimidates me. I stand up and take the fight to my opponents. I won’t go into an overly long dissertation on what happened to create me as I am but I’ll present the two incidents that made me what I am today.
Bea: Kat and Mark need to pay attention to these incidents so they’ll understand why they’ll lose to Bill and Masque.
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER
Bill: I spent ten years fending off the murder intentions of my half-brother Chris Shipman. That’s not a figure of speech people. He wanted to literally murder me as he got found guilty in a Court of Law for the death of our sister and he tried to blame her death on me. I’m still here and doing great and Chris Shipman hasn’t been heard from since we both left the previous wrestling federation we worked in. That should tell you all you need to know about me and what I’m about.
Bea: Tell them about your confrontations with Satan.
Bill: When I worked in another wrestling federation, where my half-brother Chris Shipman also worked, Satan came to me annually to challenge me for my soul for eternity. Satan failed nine years in a row. Of course Satan came back the next year and I told him this has to be the last time he challenges me for my soul. He agreed and we had a binding contract. The bottom line was that if Satan were to win this time and obtain my soul then I’m his to do with what he wants. If I win Satan is denied the opportunity to challenge me for my soul again for eternity. You all think Satan is extremely intelligent but he isn’t. I told him if I allow him to have his minions be on the voting crew to decide who wins our contest then he has to allow me to be the one to choose the challenge we have to perform in order to try to win. Proving he wasn’t thinking clearly that evening he agreed. Satan called one hundred of his minions to vote on our contest. I told Satan we had to have a dance-off. Satan roared with laughter because he felt this was an easy contest for him to win but I knew I was going to win. I even allowed Satan to go first. He did his dance routine and then I did mine. I did my dance routine to the music SHAKE YOUR BOOTY. When I was done me and Satan stood there waiting for his minions to vote on who would win. When the results were tallied on the vote by the minions they stated they gave seventy-five votes for Satan to win. Figuring he had won the contest to obtain my soul Satan started laughing uncontrollably. Unfortunately, for him anyway, when the minions then gave their vote on my performance and they gave me ninety of their one hundred votes. Yes I defeated Satan by fifteen votes and the votes came from Satan’s minions. I looked at Satan and reminded him of our agreement and since I won the tenth contest out of ten contests against him the agreement is he can never challenge me for my soul again for eternity. So, Mark and Kat, if you two piss ants think I’m intimidated by you then you’re more ignorant than I thought you were!
Bea: That’s part of the reason Bill is confident in wrestling and life in general. Defeating one of the most deranged and mentally twisted persons in his half-brother Chris Shipman and defeating Satan for eternity is empowering. Bill are you going to tell the viewers the amusing thing you told me the other day about a child and a balloon?
Bill: You’ve all seen a child with a balloon. They’re holding the string, smiling, happy, and admiring the balloon, then someone comes along with a pin and pops the balloon. The look on the child’s face is priceless! In an instant they went from having fun to being sad. . .having it all to having nothing. . .happy with the world to mad at the world but not able to do a damn thing about it. Yep! So, Mark and Kat, that’s how you two are going to feel when me and Masque defeat you. POP!!!
PAST HISTORY
Bill: I wish to talk to you, Mark, for a moment. I’m an honest person so I’ll continue in my honesty concerning the history we have against each other. Our first match against each other was on August 4, 2019, at Climax Control 244. I lost to you by pinfall and I salute you on that win. Our second match against each other was on November 3, 2019, at Climax Control 251, and again you won over me by pinfall. So we enter our Blast From The Past match with you 2-0 against me. But, Mark, before you crow like a horny Rooster after the Hens those matches were over two years ago. Things have changed during that time for both of us. I see you were World Champion for about five weeks and that you won the Blast From The Past Tournament on April 12, 2020. But, alas, that was then and this is now. While you were a short-time Champion I have held the Roulette Championship since October 3, 2021. So shall we compare Championships for just a moment? You have around five weeks as World Champion and I’ll reach 133 days on the day we participate in Climax Control 322. Hell of a big difference comparing our Championship reigns eh?. If you want to bring up my Blast From The Past history from 2021 you’re welcome to do so. I would have easily won the Tournament had I not been teamed with a partner who spent all her time disrespecting me and throwing the match. This year the Tournament is different. I have a great partner who is talented, powerful, agile, and aggressive, and I know she has my back in the match and she knows I have hers.
Bea: I had a match against Kat Jones at Climax Control 319 on December 12, 2021 by pinfall. Kat is a good wrestler but my observation is that Masque is a fantastic wrestler. I see Bill and Masque with an easy win in this match.
Bill: I agree with you that our team will have the win in this match but I’m also aware that Kat Jones and Mark Cross are not going to do the trained dog routine of roll over and play dead. The key is to go into this match with confidence, a respect for my partner Masque, and the ability to tag in and out of the match to allow both of us to have the opportunity to pick up the win and move along in the Blast From The Past Tournament.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Bill: In the world of finance the term BOTTOM LINE refers to the final totals after the accounting is done. If you have a profit on the bottom line they say you are IN THE BLACK but if you have a deficit on the bottom line it means you have taken a loss and you are IN THE RED.
Bea: And the bottom lines for this match are?
Bill: The bottom line for me and Masque is we have a huge profit and will win and move on in the Blast From The Past Tournament. We’ll continue winning until we’re the last team standing. But, Kat and Mark, you have a huge deficit which means you two are taking the loss and going home to watch our team continue on, and win, the Blast From The Past Tournament.
Bill informs the camera person he is done presenting his comments and the camera person calls into the Network to let them know. The Network cuts the feed to the camera person and returns to their regular programming for this time slot.
