I, Miles Anthony Kasey, of sound mind and body...
Podunk...”MILO!” ....*ahem*, Possum Trot, Kentucky
Thanksgiving Day
“As of right now....” Miles sighed heavily as he sat in the passenger seat of a 2019 Ford F-250 rolling down the countryside road for what feels like forever. They flew into Nashville from southern California very early this morning after spending the last few days traveling the west coast.
Right now though, he finds himself in unfamiliar and in uncomfortable territory.
Meeting Becca’s family.
She would tell him about her brothers, the farm and how she missed it sometimes but more specifically how she missed her mama and her baby brother. His name he could easily remember. The others though...
“Ok so there’s Conner, that’s your baby brother?”
“Yes, and he’s...different from the others.”
“I remember you saying that.”
“It goes Chad, Brad, Thad, Tad, Me and then Conner.”
“Those names....” he laughed, watching the scenery passing by, “Sounds like some strange twisted fraternity.”
“Yeah, momma said that dad was insistent on my brothers’ names,” She smirked, “They are all a year apart. Each one of ‘em worked on the farm as soon as they could walk and all played football. Then came me.”
“Something tells me you were unexpected.”
“Story of my life since I dropped out of my momma.”
“Her name...”
“Gloria. And just a warning, she is a full on southern belle right off the plantation. If you need help translating anything, just ask. She’s sweet as can be. My pops however...”
“Mark.” he states flatly. He already knew that his views, stances and other
“That’s right.” she said with a surprise look on her face that he was able to remember, “My dad has...well he’s a good ole boy who is set in his ways. And my brothers don’t fall far from that tree.”
Becca hits the turn signal and starts making their way up a dirt road towards an expansive farm land and Miles suddenly looks very uncomfortable, “And here I am, from across the pond and well...me”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I know I will be because I’m doing this for you,” he smirks, “I’m not good at the meeting the parents thing and well...I feel rather outnumbered in these parts, love.”
“Trust me, you’ll be fine. You may get the third degree but I will be there and I haven’t been home in a while so they’ll be focused on me...mostly.” she says with a shrug before pulling up to the house.
Lined up on the porch is four fairly big boys all looking like they indeed come right off the farm and slightly out of Letterkenny with jeans and flannels all tucked in, arms cross trying to look intimidating, next to them is an older man that is dressed exactly like them.
Becca throws the truck in park and looks at him, “Ready?”
Miles straightens up, much like he would whenever he faced something much bigger than him. And it was like he was about to face the front defensive line of some American football team, “Ready.”
Both of them climb out of the car and make their way up the porch, “Well, well, well...look who actually showed up for a holiday, boys.” spoke the older looking brother of the group.
“Good to see you too, Chad.” she turns to the oldest standing there, her father, “Hey dad.”
“You’re lookin’ well. Skinny though.”
Becca just rolls her eyes, “I’m perfectly healthy, thank you very much. Could probably still whoop Tad’s ass.”
“You wish, sis.” spoke up the youngest of the 4 standing there, “Who’s that?” he says motioning towards Miles.
Suddenly a voice speaks up from behind them, “Now boys, let’s not scare off your sister just yet. Afterall, she brought a guest to our home and we will be proper hosts!” stepping around her husband is a woman that immediately could tell was Becca’s mother. “You must be Miles! Welcome, darlin’. I’m Gloria Larkin, this old thing next to me is my husband Mark.”
“Ma’am,” Miles nods before holding his hand out to Mark Larkin, “It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”
Mark looks at it for a moment before giving it a brief shake before we hear, “WOOOO, listen to that accent! Where you from there pretty boy? Fairyland?” spoke up the one next to the oldest brother, the one he assumed would be Brad.
“BRADLEY DAVID LARKIN! I taught you better manners than that. All you boys get in the house this instant and get cleaned up. Dinner is almost ready.” Gloria speaks up and the southern belle in her voice comes out a little more rough than when she greeted them. None of them move for a moment.
Gloria nudges Mark and motions to her children, “You heard you momma, GET!”
The boys finally get to moving and finally he sees a younger boy, getting shoulder shoved by his older brothers, “You’ll have to excuse my brothers, they seem to forget that there is a world beyond our front porch,” he says as they get out of ear shot, “Hey sis!”
Becca smiles and walks over to him and gives him a big hug before looking at him and notices a bit of a shinner, “Hey Conner, who did that?”
“He and Thad had it out about him not doing his work the other day.” their father spoke up, “So Thad gave him a good whoopin’.” Becca just gives her dad a look before he turns his attention back to Miles, “Well, I guess come in a rest a spell before dinner. Gloria has been workin hard since last night when ya’ll informed her you were coming.”
“I’m sorry it was so last minute, we weren’t sure if we could get a flight so late.”
“Don’t matter much. You’re here and that says somethin’, I gather.” he says before stomping into the house.
Miles lets go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, “Well, that was something.”
“Don’t you give them any mind, Miles. It is Miles right? I heard Becca call you Milo before.”
“Miles is just fine, ma’am.”
“Oh please, call me Gloria. Ma’am makes me feel so old!” she rolls before motioning for them to go inside.
“Come on Conner, I brought you a new sketch book!” Becca says to her little brother.
That was just the meeting. Needless to say after the pleasantries of the introductions came to and end and dinner was done things got a little rocky.
He would sit back and hear her oldest brothers relentlessly tease Conner, who was so much smaller than his brothers. He wasn’t meant for the farm. He was still in high school and found out that he had expectations beyond the farm. And for that Chad, Brad, Tad and Thad all gave him the noise about abandoning the rest of them just like Becca. This lead to a screaming fight between Becca and her brothers, defending herself about leaving home for something more than their life and there was something about an old boyfriend who was still sweet on her and recently got a good job at the local factory and was doing ‘Real well for himself’. Then suddenly he felt all eyes on him.
“Whatchu doin’ for a livin’, Milo.” which came from Thad. At least he thought so, after a while her brothers all felt the same. A carbon copy of their father. And when Becca spoke up for him about him working in professional wrestling, Chad made it known that he saw everything he needed about him and how he couldn’t believe his sister would even think about dating someone like him. Conner would try and speak up and would get slapped upside the head by Tad. And then they would just keep going, attacking him. The words that flowed were blurred just enough but it started to piss him off even more. Gloria looked embarrassed, Mark pushed them to continue...
After a while, Miles had enough and excused himself from the table and out of the house.
“Ooof, sensitive boy you got there, Becca.” Mark spoke to his daughter.
Becca shot her father the dirtiest look she could muster, “Now I remember why I left this place. You all should be ashamed of yourselves!” and she followed Miles out the door. When she noticed he wasn’t around the truck, she saw the light to the farm was on and took a chance. “Miles?” She found him inside, grabbing up a hay block and tossing it as far as he could muster, “There you are. I’m so sorry about them.”
Miles stopped for a moment, “I don’t need you to apologize for them, Becks. Your mother is a lovely woman. Conner deserves better treatment. Your pops was even a little decent til he got on his high horse about certain topics but your brothers....I saw how fast they wrote me off the minute I opened my mouth.”
“I know...”
“How could you be related to that?”
“What can I say? Tad was born, the broke that bullshit mode and out popped me. I told you, I’m a bit of a black sheep when it comes to them. As is Conner. I hated leaving him...” she said with a shrug, “I wish he was out of school already so I could just move him out.”
Miles motions towards the house, “How does your mother put up with that?”
“Wish I could tell you.” she says with a simple shrug, before going over and wrapping his arms around him and resting her head on his broad chest, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for them, love.” he said with a simple kiss on her forehead.
She looks up and gives him a sympathetic look, “You wanna go?”
He nods, “Probably be for the best before I pound Brad’s head in with the turkey pan.” he says with a smirk, “You know, I know I’m not that big of a guy, but I’m fairly certain I could take em.”
“They’re big guys.”
“I’ve faced bigger.”
WHAT A LIE THAT WAS!
What do they feed you?
Phoenix, AZ
“I couldn’t believe it. I sat back on Sunday and watched this Monster of a man attack and practically destroy Fenris.” he said as he sat back in the hotel. “I know K can hold his own against a lot of people. I know it just shocked a lot of people that it happened. ...so...I just have one question.”
“WHO THE FUCK DID I PISS OFF?!?” Miles says with big eyes, holding his arms out, “Why do you wanna hurt kitten? Am I just too pretty? Did I forget someone’s birthday??? I mean, holy shit, I have had some whoppers come my way but this?
The Supreme Machine sounds like it should be a Kitchen-Aid attachment for one of those industrial strength stand mixers.”
“He looks like he belongs in a Marvel movie as a supervillian. Maybe a body double for the dude that played fucking Juggernaut.” he sighs.
“No, you know what? It’s fine! It’s fine that I had to reup my life insurance policy and make Becca my benefactor. Maybe she can get her little brother out of that mess he’s stuck with for 2 more years. It’s FINE that I had to once again update my Last Will and Testament to reflect my final wishes that I want to be buried ass-up so the whole world can kiss my ass.” he says motioning broadly, before sitting up and staring dead ahead. His blue-green eyes have grown serious, “It’s fine that I have spent the last week, pushing myself the hardest that I have ever had to, it’s fine that I have tortured myself to push myself to the very breaking point that I have ever had to because this monster knocked out a friend. You’re not catching me off guard, SuMa...I know you are a monster. I know I’m probably going to fly farther than I ever have with your assistance but the fact remains is that I’m going to not go down without a fight.”
“And to whomever booked this match...and I have a sneaking suspicion as to WHOM....well to quote the latest TikTok hit artist GAYLE, A, B, C, D, E, Fuck you.”
“OI!” he hears from behind him. He turns around quick and sees Becca standing there with her hands on her hips.
“Now Becks listen...”
She storms up to him and grabs him by his face and kisses him forcibly, “NO! You LISTEN! ...listen here ya little shit, I FINALLY...found SOMEONE...to accept the WEIRD! YOU BETTER COME BACK TO ME! ARE WE CLEAR?!?”
He smiles brightly for the first time in days, “Crystal, love.”
