[Christian Underwood]

Post all roleplays for this match here.
Limits: 1 roleplay per week, per character, 7k limit.

Good luck!

[Andrew]

GOOD LUCK IN OUR MATCH AGOSTINO. . .YOU’RE GONNA NEED ALL THE LUCK YOU CAN FIND TO TRY TO DEFEAT ME

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart had a meeting with me to tell me what he is presenting in his comments for High Stakes XI where he defends his Roulette Championship against Agostino Romano. Without further delay I turn you over to Bill Barnhart at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

WHAT I AM . . .YOU’LL NEVER BE

The scene changes and we get a shot of Bill Barnhart, along with his English Bulldog Iris, sitting on the couch. Bill is ready to present his comments for his upcoming Roulette Championship defense against Agostino Romano. As Bill is petting Iris the camera person informs Bill they are live broadcasting so Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  Thanks for joining me today. I plan on presenting information to ensure Agostino Romano realizes he’s so deep underneath me that he needs the Hubble Space Telescope in order for him to see clearly how far above him I am. Agostino how does it feel that you were in a Triple Threat match against one below-average opponent, and one average-level opponent, and now you have to face off against me and I’m an amazing superior performer with exceptional wrestling abilities? Does that make you feel like you’re Superman? Is that how you feel Romano? If so let me introduce you to myself. My name is Bill. . .I AM KRYPTONITE. . .Barnhart. You don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of lasting more than a few minutes against me in our match!

Bill lets out a huge laugh.

Bill:  Agostino please allow me to give you some background on me to prove to you, and everyone else, that what I am. . .you’ll never be. When I began attending Skyline High School in Oakland, California, we were told the lawn area between the two middle buildings of the school and between the two main walkways was called THE SENIOR LAWN. We were told that only Seniors were allowed to walk and hang out there. When Freshmen, Sophomores, or Juniors, stepped onto the Senior Lawn the Seniors had the right to attack them, beat them down, and toss them off their Senior Lawn. Faculty at the school looked the other way as this was a tradition thing. When we became Seniors we were so happy that we now were going to have control of the Senior Lawn and be able to forcibly remove Freshmen, Sophomores, and Juniors from OUR lawn. But then the announcement came on the first day of school that we, as Seniors, could no longer claim the Senior Lawn and forcibly remove lower class students. The reason I told you this, Agostino, is that you managed to get by two average level opponents but now that you have to face me the rules have changed. You went from being ten percent better than your two previous opponents to being ninety percent weaker than me. Have fun dealing with that. What I did to you is similar to what Faculty did to us when we became Seniors at Skyline High School. We were denied our privilege of being Seniors and kicking ass on all the non-Seniors students but our fun was taken away from us by Faculty. Romano realize you had a bit of fun wrestling against two opponents who were not at my level of expertise but now you have to face me. I’m so far ahead of you in wrestling ability and confidence it might take you ten years to reach my level.

Bill again laughs loudly.

Bill:  Agostino that’s not all I have to say to you. I have another example from Skyline High School you need to know about. I wanted to get onto the Track Team, Baseball Team, and Football Team. In all three of these sports if you were not friends of players on those teams, or friends with the Coaches, they ignored you no matter how good you were or how much ability you have. I was in the top three fastest on the Track for 50 meters, 100 meters, and 200 meters. I was in the top three longest in the long jump. I was awesome in baseball and could hit nearly any pitch for a home run. When it came to football if they threw a pass to me, or handed me the football, I was an extremely fast runner, and very agile, and it was nearly impossible for anyone on Defense to stop me or tackle me. But did the players already on those teams, and their Coaches, care that I was a better player than all their members combined? Nope. So how does this relate to you and our match Romano? You think that because you have a drug-induced, self realized, only in your mind, wrestling talents, that nobody else can see in you that you’re going to strut into our match and take me out? That ain’t gonna happen. No way in hell you’re gonna walk into this match as the challenger and walk away as Roulette Champion. I’m not denying you a chance to try out like those assholes did to me at Skyline High School. In my world, the real world, you earned the chance to challenge me by winning your match recently. However, Romano, you fall way way way short of having the abilities to actually accomplish getting a win over me and earning the Roulette Championship.

Bill laughs so hard this time he can barely recover himself. He finally manages to recover himself and he continues with his comments.

TAKING FUN AWAY FROM OTHERS

Bill:  I wish to take you back to when me and Bea moved to the State of Georgia from California in 2012. We went down to Macon, Georgia, which has Civil War history. We took a tour of Macon put on by the Women in charge of the Macon, Georgia, Historical Society. At that time Macon had a Central Hockey League team named the Macon Whoopee. They named the team after their local bird which is called a Whoopee as it made that sort of sound. While we were listening to the presentation in the conference room I happened to mention, in a whisper to Bea, that when I grew up in Oakland we heard a song titled Makin’ Whoopee which means to have sex. The prudish old ladies running the presentation heard my comment to Bea so they stopped their presentation and started yelling at me even though I was quietly commenting to Bea. I don’t take nicely to people trying to insult me publicly so I told them everyone needs to have a bit of fun and humor in their lives. I guess at their ages they didn’t have sex anymore, and never get a man to give them a second look, so they got prudish and wanted to take the fun away from everyone else. Why did I tell you this Agostino? I have reasons for everything I do and say. The old prudish ladies in the Macon Historical Society weren’t able to appreciate what others do and think. Just like you and the rest of the Roster refusing to appreciate that I did, in fact, easily earn the Roulette Championship. If you want to get pissy with me and give me your sour face that makes you look like you just chewed on a dozen lemons then go ahead. No amount of pouty face by you is going to get you a win over me!

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  I decided that for my closing comments instead of stating things about my upcoming match, my opponent, and wrestling in general, I would relate something concerning my best friend through Junior High School and High School in Oakland, California. What I’m about to relate to you is a true story. I have in my hands a letter I received from one of my best friends, Eddie Epstein, from my High School days at Skyline High School in Oakland, California. I’ll tell you what Eddie’s letter says. Eddie wrote this letter in our Senior year of High School. My friend Eddie was LGBT but back then it wasn’t something readily accepted and understood by others. In his letter Eddie stated he didn’t know which way to turn and his parents sand his sister didn’t understand. He felt if he turned left that those on that side would turn against him. He felt if he turned to the right that they would also turn against him. Eddie was my best friend since Junior High School. Eddie knew I accepted him, and supported him, in all ways because he is my best friend. Eddie knew that friends don’t turn their backs on friends no matter what. But other people were not kind to Eddie and the frustration, sadness, and pain he felt got too much for him. If you’re wondering what happened to Eddie I’ll tell you. The pain got so intense that Eddie decided to take pills that make a person to into a deep sleep. Unfortunately Eddie too so many of those bills he never woke up. Am I making these closing comments for some personal gain? No. I just want everyone to know and understand that everyone is going through something, or experiencing something, or struggling with something, and most people hold those things inside and it eats them up. Unless we engage them and offer to help them they may take the same route Eddie took. With those final comments I’ll end my comments for today and continue with talking about my upcoming match during my next comments session.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments and the camera person calls into the Network and they switch back to regularly scheduled programming.

[Andrew]

I’LL WIN MY MATCH AND RETAIN MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator:  Bill has a nice presentation today. That is all I am going to say today. I turn you over to Bill Barnhart to give you the information you need.

The scene changes to the hotel room of Bill and Bea Barnhart located near Madison Square Garden in New York City. Bea and Iris are not around so we assume Bea took Iris out for a walk. Bill gets comfortable on the couch then when the camera person informs him they are live broadcasting he launches into his comments for his upcoming match.

BILL IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MODEL ROULETTE CHAMPION

Bill:  The first thing I wish to do is show you a video of a song from the musical The Pirates of Penzance. It’s called The Major General Song. Please watch the video so you know how the song goes then I’ll give you my version of it as it relates to me as Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion.

The Network puts up the video of the performance of The Major General Song for the viewers to watch.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MAJOR GENERAL SONG

After the Major General Song video is done we return to Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  The persons who accept that role in the musical The Pirates of Penzance have a very difficult song to sing at that pace and to remember every word. Now that you’ve seen the original version, and heard the original lyrics, I now give you the Bill Barnhart version. I’ve modified a few of the lyrics but most of the original song remains as in the video you watched.

Bill starts the music track of the song and then he launches into singing the lyrics of his version of the song.

I am the very model of a modern Roulette Champion
And I promised everyone that I would get the job done
I know the previous Champions and all of their reigns
But all their accomplishments are going to wane.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
Hmmm... lot o' news, lot o'news... Aha!
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I’m very good at all the many types of a Roulette match
I’m too quick and agile for my opponents to catch
I will be the best the Roulette Champion has been
I’m the very model of a modern Roulette Champion.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
Hmmm... din afore, din afore... Aha!
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I write new history on this Championship I hold
And tell you every detail so you know that I am bold
I am better than other Roulette Champions have been
I am the very model of a modern Roulette Champion.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
Hmmm... strategy... strategy, lategy, bategy... Aha! I have it!
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

For my reign I promise to fight all they send my way
They will be defeated when they see that day
Again I state I will be the best Champion there has been
I am the very model of a modern Roulette Champion.

Bill’s version of the Major General song from The Pirates of Penzance ends and Bill returns to his comments.

Bill:  Trust me, Agostino, and others wanting a shot at my Roulette Championship, that I can not only sing that fast and not miss a beat or the lyrics I’m also fast in the wrestling ring and don’t miss a move, hold, or maneuver. Agostino you’ll find out that you’re no match for me. I’ve always said that people need to either lead by example or get the hell out of the way. That’s why I’m leading by example and you need to get out of my way. That translates into both my personal life and my professional wrestling life. Agostino you haven’t been leading by example here in Sin City Wrestling. Yes you’ve had a few success moments but they seem to be very rare things in your wrestling career. If you’re coming into our match wishing for a success moment you’ll be sadly disappointed as you’re going to lose to me.

YOU THOUGHT MOTORCYCLE RACING WAS TOUGH. . .I’M A HELL OF A LOT TOUGHER

Bill:  Agostino you’re a former professional motorcycle racer. Hmmm! Makes me wonder why you quit racing motorcycles and went into the sport of wrestling. Was the competition too strong for you in racing? Were the motorcycles more than you could handle? Seems to me to walk away from a career in motorcycle racing to become a wrestler isn’t the expected career move. But, Romano, I’ll make a promise to you since, apparently, racing motorcycles was too difficult for you to remain in the sport. After I defeat you to retain my Roulette Championship I’ll make a purchase of mild child versions of transportation that you should be able to handle and not get hurt using. Like a tricycle, a push scooter, maybe a hover board but only one that moves really really slow. I was thinking about getting you roller skates but if you were to get injured using them you might want to hold me responsible for your injuries. Making fun of you probably ticks you off and the fans apparently want to support you over me and that’s okay. I don’t care if your feelings are hurt and you’re mad at me for teasing you. I don’t give a damn if the fans support me or not. I’m in the sport of wrestling to have fun, enjoy my matches and, as you saw recently, earn Championships. And, Agostino, when you fall off your children’s tricycle and get hurt don’t try to sue me for damages you sustained because you’re klutz.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Agostino I expected  quality comments from you over the past several months and even more leading up to our match at High Stakes XI. Wishful thinking on my part I suppose. I mean, come on, you’re going up against me to try to defeat me for the Roulette Championship so I expected I’d get from you interesting, imaginative, high quality, gold plated, comments for our match but instead what I got from you was boring, lame, low quality, and shit plated, comments. Please allow me to ask you a another question. Yeah I know you don’t want to answer more questions but your unwillingness to participate doesn’t mean anything to me. I have to ask you if you’re getting your inspiration from a do-it-yourself instruction book titled HOW TO WRITE IDIOTIC AND MORONIC WRESTLING PROMOS THAT MAKE YOU SOUND DUMBER THAN YOU REALLY ARE. . .FOR DUMMIES. I honestly can’t think of any other reason for you to air moronic lame crap. Come on! Use your brain and come up with original comments and not a bunch of canned stuff you read out of a do-it-yourself instruction book! I look forward to destroying you in our match at High Stakes XI.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bill flashes a huge grin into the camera.

Bill:  Agostino when I get done beating the hell out of you there’s a chance you may want to retire from the sport of wrestling to go off into a less dangerous way of life. I’m thinking when you retire from wrestling you can go back to sports where you can still do competitive racing. Since racing motorcycles was obviously too much for you to handle, which caused you to make a decision to enter the sport of wrestling, perhaps returning to motorcycle wrestling wouldn’t be the right move as you may get hurt at those speeds. So how about you consider milder forms of racing when you retire? Things like tricycle racing because at least when you fall you won’t have that far to travel before hitting the pavement. Har har har!!!

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments. The graphic comes off the screen then the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.

[Agostino Romano]

Agostino is seen at a dog race, but it wasn't a bunch of greyhounds racing. It was a particular type of racing that Agostino very cleverly made up, a British Bulldogs racing. There was gambling involved, but it wasn't the traditional going to place bets on papers. The bets are done on a roulette wheel. The odds on the bets they were forced to pay if the wheel landed on them. The players have a choice of what bulldog they want to win, but the odds they'd have to guess, and if the wheel lands on the odds they get right, they get a bit more, and if the odds they get wrong, they have to pay more.

Agostino Romano: "Take a look at what I've done here. Since my opponent loves his bulldog and holds the Roulette title, I combined the two together. James places the ball on the roulette, and Declan spins the ball. See, I don't need to get serious about wrestling matches because, as I claim before, I get bored if I stand or sit and do absolutely nothing with my videos. Every wrestler does that, and I thought Bill of all people would get that, regardless if I win matches or not. I won a shot for the Roulette title and all this without asking, demanding or begging for a title shot. Amazing, isn't it what this bulldog can do with his joking and playing around."

The players groaned when they got their odds on their bulldog wrong, and they had to pay more as there weren't any chips to the game at all. Real money was involved here. There were screens of bulldogs racing on the track.

Agostino Romano: "I always make fun things to do because it's who I am, and as I said, I never got mad when people trash me for my abilities; I proved what happens when wrestlers do that as Levi did. See, I view you as a threat because you are a champion, especially when you defeated Miles and Lincoln Daniels. However, do you honestly expect me to do two videos when I could say everything in one? I don't need to make a response to every point a wrestler says because I can win matches without doing that and always find that lazy to do."

Agostino watched bulldogs race, even if they were a lot slower than greyhounds, even if Agostino was laughing at his innovative idea of making something fun for him and everyone. Even some of the crowd laughed at Agostino's idea, even if it was confusing.

Agostino Romano: "I know what you've done since you were tag champions at one point, but how ridiculous does it make you feel that I've won a title here long before you have? It must make you look silly to be around Sin City Wrestling for so long, even before their short break, that I've won a title before you ever did. I'll repeat what I said. Being injured and hurt from being thrown around does not fear me because I've had many head injuries from the crashes I made. I have even broken every part of my body before because when you're thrown off the bike, it can be very violent, just as this match is."

Agostino giggled, as did James and Declan, although Declan was calmer about it. Agostino mucks around with the roulette and says, when he lost the bet, oh come on. However, he did have to pay more when the odds were wrong.

Agostino Romano: "You ever thought to take Iris to do some racing? Cos oh girl, she needs the exercise. Not mocking her weight as such, but dogs need exercise once in a while. Does she do anything? It's all a part of the fun, so I imagine you'd be offended, but it shows what little words do not affect me in wrestling. Most people you've faced would've been so pissed and angry, but I've grown from the criticisms and doubts from fans, racers and even organisations, but they got the message that I will never change. Let's enjoy people guessing odds while watching these wonderful bulldogs race to the finish."

The one thing Agostino did have to bring a point about was Bill's recent matches and poking fun out of him, just as playful than spiteful as most people have been if they were in Agostino's position. However, the cameras do zoom in on the roulette wheel.

Agostino Romano: "So fair play you beat Caleb Storms in your last match since before we fought each other, but you mentioned on the show that wins and loss records don't matter to a wrestler; I'm not concerned about wins and losses either, but you don't seem to be capable of being successful of defending the Roulette title, nor should you be able to cope leading the way. Here I come in the Roulette title match, already conquered the Internet title, having competitive matches with Caleb when the same could happen here with me taking your belt."

It was the first time anyone saw Agostino wanting to win, but it wasn't his usual style, and the cameras zoom to the bulldogs on the track, racing one another.

Agostino Romano: "Because while dogs can be fast on a racetrack, of course, they are no match for motorcycles and nor would they ever crash into each other and suffer from broken bones. You need to be put to sleep in the ring when I put you down for the three count because there will be nothing you can do. I don't need a story about my past; it's all online for everyone to see. I was some young kid making too many mistakes, but I don't worry about that too much in wrestling because I can and will grow to be a bigger bulldog you wish you'd never had to face. I love how creative I can get with Roulette title matches, and I will beat you for the three count and walk away as the new Roulette champion."

Agostino kept chuckling a lot, and he finished the video as he continued doing the roulette bulldogs racing.