Session 12: Motherly Love
”What was it like? Seeing her again after so many years?
”Honestly? Painful.”
Dr. Whitlow’s voice was familiar, calming, soothing, and what Alicia needed. But the setting wasn’t any of these things. They were at a small coffee shop across the road from Wolfslair. The doctor wanting to see where Alicia spent most of her time. Looking over everything, meeting the other members of Wolfslair, and conducting an interview with Alex. They seemed to talk for hours but it was only minutes.
Afterward, Dr. Whitlow smiled politely, excused herself, and they both walked across the street to get a drink and sit down. They were away from prying eyes, sitting on a pair of old-style metal chairs, touched up and painted white with blue cushions fixed to them. A circular glass table between them with a teacup in front of Dr. Whitlow and a coffee in front of Alicia.”You came back, she didn’t come to pick you up, to see you back in America and face to face? Alicia shook her head from side to side with a heavy sigh. ”Did she regret it? Did you tell her how it made you feel?”
Silence between them, Alicia staring ahead, wondering how she could describe what happened that day. Or even if she should.
Alicia swallowed hard and looked over at Whitlow with a shrug.”I don’t think it mattered how I felt when I came back. I know I had something more important nto do. Get my kids back.”
Whitlow sipped her tea and agreeably gave a small nod, understanding where Alicia was coming from but there was doubt there. Doubt that Alicia was telling her everything, or even believing what she said. Whitlow crossed her legs, placing her hands on her knee, she smiled warmly and moved back against the chair. ”You mean to tell me, after leaving the country, going to Japan, changing your life and career and then returning after two years you and your mother didn’t have it out?” Whitlow raised her eyebrows. She knew there was something. Moments that Alicia had pushed down.
”Yeah, I guess I can’t really push something like that to the side like it didn’t matter.” Alicia scoffed and gave a small shrug taking a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. ”I went...home…”
The cab came to a stop outside the large gates Alicia remembered from just a few years ago. She would see them almost every day growing up. Coming home from school and pushing through them with her younger brother and sister in tow. Her black backpack felt heavy across her shoulders as the cab drove off, leaving her there to stare at a place she once called home. Her hand moved up and grasped the metal bar against the wall, her fingers moving behind to click the release and push it forward. Stepping through felt like a defeat, it ate at her heart, mind, and soul. Each step up the pathway towards the door got heavier and harder. Coming to a stop at the base of the stone steps, her eyes closed.
She moved up to the door, she didn’t want to press the button, she didn’t want to go inside. But, she had to. She was forced to under these circumstances.
She wanted to get her sons back, to go to war with Ronnie for custody of them. But, to be successful she needed her mother. She needed her resources and everything she knew and felt. To win this war, she needed Barbara Ann Lukas. After a sharp inhale and exhale she worked up the strength to do it, pressing the intercom. A buzz informed her that she was being looked at, evaluated by the camera. Before she could say anything the door clicked, unlocking as Alicia shook her head and pushed it open moving inside.
The foyer had changed. New artwork, new banisters up each side of the center winding staircase. When Alicia had left, when she had been handed off to Ronnie like some kind of teenage door prize at 16 years old this place had been falling apart. Barbara was unable to repair the house with no money. But everything looked new. Repaired, restored, and stronger than Alicia had ever seen it.
”Impressive isn’t it?” Barbara’s voice broke her concentration, Alicia turned and gave a small nod as her mother moved around her, coming to a stop next to her, between Alicia and the door. ”My husband does well”
Husband?
Alicia’s head snapped sideways, a raised eyebrow. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. ”You got remarried? You didn’t sa-”
”Would you have come if I did? What makes you think I would have wanted you there.”
That one hurt. A shot of pain into Alicia’s heart as her mother turned and moved away,l across the foyer to the doorway leading into the parlor. Alicia followed moving into a room where her mother tried, in vain, to turn her into a society lady. Where Alicia wore frilled dressed, large across the bottom, tight on top, where her long blonde hair was always down and done in different ways. Now, she stood in a pair of tight black jeans, tears on the knees, black converse, and a white vintage Japanese wrestling shirt. Her hair was messy and tied in a bun.
This wasn’t the same girl who hated being in here.
”You look..good” Her heart sank, small talk and what was worse? Good meant terrible. And Alicia knew it. She looked away before sitting down on the edge of the small red couch, her legs spread as she placed her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. ”Oh Violet, sit like a lady...I taught you better than that…” Her words were full of bass and authority. Alicia swallowed hard and as if on instinct she crossed her legs, straightened her back, and pushed her chest and chin up. And in an instant, all of her confidence and strength that she had gained over the past few years seemed to melt away. This felt wrong, it was wrong. ”That’s better. Now, we are going to see Ronald and you will work out a deal with him where we can still see the boys. You will apologise for-”
”Apologise?!?”
Alicia narrowed her eyes, confused, angry, and hurt. Barbara folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head sideways looking her daughter up and down. ”For leaving the way you did...really Violet, what did you think would happen?” Alicia was in shock, staring at the floor as her mother stepped forward and shook her head. ”You abandoned your sons, you walked away from a relationship that was going to take care of you and your family...really Violet I-”
”Alicia…” Her mother went to continue, to explode at her. ”My name, is Alicia...and I am not going to apologise for walking away from that..”
”Walking away from a stable life? A RICH HUSBAND?”
She couldn’t take it anymore, the anger rose from the pit of her stomach and Alicia was on her feet face to face with her mother, a snarl on her lips as her voice dropped deeper. ”From a man who almost drove me to fucking kill myself…” Her mother stopped, instead breathing heavily as Alicia paced back and forth shaking her head, she turned back to Barbara, lifting her arm to shot the small cut she had started to make before being stopped that fateful night. The scar still visible, a reminder for Alicia and how she felt. ”A man who degraded me, hit me, abused me. And you...you want me to apologise for having the strength to walk away? Are you serious?”
She shook her head, throwing her arms in the air, backing up as she reached down to grab her backpack, throwing it on and moving towards the door. Then, a voice from behind her stopped her. ”I’m sorry…” Alicia stopped, raising her hand and placing it on the door frame. ”I didn’t...I didn’t know. Or realise it was that bad…” She let out a large sigh, her body relaxing. Barbara sat down looking across the coffee table at the couch. ”We can.,...we can talk about how to fight this….please” She took a deep breath in and pushed it out turning on her heels, her mother was serious, sincere, and heartfelt.
”She apologised? She didn’t know?”
Dr. Whitlow raised her eyebrows, Alicia finished her coffee and just gave a small nod. Dr. Whitlow looked surprised and finished her tea. Alicia laughed to herself and shook her head. ”I know….weird right? I always believed she knew, or saw something. But..ya know...when people are so involved with themselves, they don’t see what is right in front of them…”
Flo-rida and Disney
”Well, isn’t this just the happiest place on earth?“
Alicia steps into frame, her hands in the front pocket of her jeans as she turns and looks up at the tower of terror behind her. One of the landmarks at the Disney World resort in Florida, where sin city wrestling it’s about to hold climax control.
”Disney World, such a fitting place for me to once again establish my dominance over this entire division. To secure my championship shot against a woman who has been just as dominant as I was in a very short amount of time. You see, I am actually excited about this match. The last few that I’ve had, I haven’t really felt it. I haven’t had it in my heart that I’ve wanted to do it. You see, you might think what I did to Ruby was some kind of landmark in my career. A glass tables match, I dropped her through it and approved once again that people like her cannot and will not come close to people like me.”
“I refuse to apologise for my actions. I refuse to apologise for what I did to Courtney Pierce and I refuse to apologise for what I did to Ruby. They both had it coming for different reasons.”
“You see, Courtney tried to take one of my moments and make it all about her. She tried to come out and steal that little bit of spotlight that was on me. And when I refused to allow that to happen and I refused to just sit back and let her steal it from me, you all booed. You all acted as if I did something so horrible that I could never come back from it. A simple broken bone for her, but a statement by me.”
“So many of you thought I was done, that I was coming out to say goodbye, to wave, tell you all that it was a fun ride and that I appreciated the support and love that I had gotten, and walk away. but instead what you have been getting is a more focused and vicious Alicia Lukas. And Ruby paid for it. Ruby is the one who had to deal with a new and focused Me, she is the one who had to feel that pain feel that anger with what I did to her girlfriend and then what I did to her.”
“But, that chapter is over. I broke Courtney‘s leg, Ruby tried to get her revenge and failed, Case closed. Next chapter.“
She pauses for a moment, the impressive visage of the tower of terror looming large over the top of her as she takes her hands from her pockets and folds them over her chest.
”But, what is that next chapter? What is the next step for me in my career in sin city wrestling? Well, it is retreating a path that I have walked down before. Announced for the very next climax control that is happening here in Florida at Disney World is a fatal Foreway match. The winner of this match gets to go onto high-stakes, our biggest event of the year and challenge for the bombshells championship. The winner has a date with Amber Ryan. A woman who has been so dominant and made that championship mean something again.”
“And indeed a woman who has beaten me one on one for that very championship. A championship that I have held three times. Yes, I am a three-time champion. Something that most people including myself remember yet somehow the company forgot. Apparently I’m only a two time champion and while that might seem like me nitpicking the truth is that if someone takes something away from you that you earned? It kind of pisses you off.”
“So, how do I rectify that? Well going into this match and beating three Hall of Fame names while then going onto face Amber Ryan and becoming a full-time champion is a damn good way to rectify it don’t you think?“
“That is what I have to do. I have to go into this match and beat three sin city wrestling Hall of Fame stars all of whom I have beaten at least once before. But no pressure right? No pressure on me coming into this match is the only one who isn’t in the Hall of Fame facing three women who quite obviously hate my guts and want to do everything that they can do to stop me from getting that for the championship. But there is the problem, stopping me from doing anything that I want to do is a goddamn task and you just need to ask anyone who is faced me in the ring to get an answer.”
Alicia pauses for a moment with a smile on her face. She tilts her head to the side and paces back and forth a little.
”And before I get to those three women that I’m going to be facing this Sunday night, I want you all to sit back and visualise what will happen if I beat them. Or when I beat them. It would be a rematch at the biggest show of the year between Amber Ryan and Alicia Lukas. Minny would say that I am the last woman to actually push Amber into deep waters. And that’s what I would do with her. She and I have it so easy a lot of the time. Sure, some people challenge us, a lot don’t. Like the Barnhardts and Salcos of the world can’t really step in the ring with us.”
“But, while Roxi would try her hardest, and Crystal and Mercedes would fail miserably against Amber, I would do something that all three of them cannot do. I will drag Amber down into deep waters, and I will drown her with everything I have.”
“But before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who have gone to war with before. And in Roxy Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, you could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Dam but before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who I have gone to war with before. And in Roxi Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, he could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Damn good…”
Alicia nods slowly and has an intense look in her eye as she steps forward.
”However, with that being said about her, I can’t ignore the fact that Johnson already had so many opportunities to beat Amber. They had a few that lasted months. They fought back and forth putting on a clinic after clinic and I will admit that Roxi did everything she could to beat Amber, Roxi pushed Amber to the limit and she looked like she could beat her every single time they faced one another.”
“But, in the end, Amber went on to become the champion and Roxi has been bouncing around teaming with her wife, trying to clutch onto relevancy while doing the same tired bullshit team hero stick that she’s always done. The same lie about being a hero when in reality she is a shallow human being in capable of caring about anyone except for herself. And that includes her idiot wife.”
“And what’s worse? Her hypocrisy also comes to championship matches.“
“You see, women like crystal and Mercedes constantly hound for championship matches. Roxy acts like she doesn’t. I didn’t ask to be in this for way, I didn’t ask to even have a championship opportunity, I would’ve been happy going about destroying the rest of the roster before getting an opportunity but I got put in that match because of what I’ve done and what I’m capable of. I’ve seen Roxi talk about re-focusing on going for that title over and over again until she finally has got her wish there she goes talking shit about Mercedes and Crystal doing the exact same thing. And as I said, while Johnson had match after match with Amber, I’ve had one. One match. And the rematch would be something truly special and I refuse to let Roxi Johnson rob me of that.”
She yells the last part, pointing at herself talking through gritted teeth. The intensity and anger in her eyes as she stares forward are evident.
''Speaking of people who are special, well, that’s not Crystal is it? She is someone who has never truly got the idea of professional wrestling in making herself special. A woman who spent so long being a failed actress that she has completely forgotten what sincerity truly is. It’s funny though, while she was a failed actress in anything that she would do of note as far as that profession goes in professional wrestling she’s been able to be a brilliant actress, acting and lying to her wife, acting and lying to her friends, the rest of her family and also you fans.”
“Someone who lies about her motivations and somehow gets people to believe her, getting J2H on her side to go and try and win and fail at winning the mixed tag team championships. Crystal is a brilliant liar and actress. Just not in a TV show or movie. But you can’t argue with her success in the ring because she has the accolades and accomplishments to prove it. She has been a multiple time world champion, but, she’s never been someone to elevate that championship. She’s always won the championship and then dragged down to pits of irrelevancy.”
“She did it recently, winning the championship of Roxi’s wife, and then promptly making it mean nothing.”
“And we really want her to try and get another shot where she’s going to fail, why? Why would we want to watch Amber Ryan completely break and destroy Crystal Zdunich? Why would we want to see that? And why would we want to validate someone who constantly bags and pleads and talks about championship matches and title shows that she hasn’t heard by getting her into a match where she could get shot? Or then letting her go onto face Amber and get a championship match that again, she didn’t earn. Crystal is a leach, she is a leach on this business she’s a leach and her family she is a leach of her friends and I’m sick of her. So I’m going to make it a personal mission to make sure she doesn’t get close to that championship.”
Alicia tries to calm herself down, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before holding her arms back over her chest.
”The exact same as Little Miss Mercedes Vargas. And the truth is that you could really into change everything I’ve said about Crystal about Mercedes instead except for the wife parts. And also I guess the friend part considering Mercedes doesn’t have any friends. But everything from the lying and the bullshit and the begging for title shots and trying to stay relevant? That is Mercedes all over. You are talking about a woman who likes to tweet out everything from past shows to anything a New York team ever does but never says anything worth a damn. She never says anything that gets people excited about her matches or excited about the shows.”
“She loses matches and then never turns around and says a goddamn thing about them, she never shows passion for the business she never shows passion for any of the matches that she’s in. And when someone like me who loves his fucking business so much and loves her career ends up being pissed off about something she ends up trying to make it about her and says that that person is “thin-skinned”…are you kidding me?”
“What means more Mercedes? Someone getting angry about losses or passionate about wins? Or someone like you who seems to get passion from nothing. Someone like you who seems to ignores 99% of what happens in the company and the business because instead she would rather focus on herself and focus on trying to bake to get championship matches and focus on the things that she did 20 years ago?“
“You really think that you’ll be able to beat Amber Ryan? Mercedes you don’t belong in the ring with Amber Ryan.”
“So instead, you get the fourway with the three of us. I would like this could really remake your career. He could make you relevant again. More relevant than you’ve been in the last couple of months while you’ve been slumming it down in SCU the same as Amy Marshall. When things get too tough on the show that matters you should go down there. I turn up and make an appearance to give him a little rub, you turned up and decided to stay there because you actually thought it was going to help your career. How the fucking mighty have fallen Mercedes. But, I’m gonna make you fall further.”
“I'm going to do this to earn my championship shot at high-stakes and Amber Ryan. I need a big win I need this for my career. I came back and I have fought for everything I’ve gotten and I’ve been continually put down spit on and made to feel like shit because I actually love this business. So, the three of you have a very simple job. Try and stop me, because it is going to take all three of you.“
Alicia turns and takes one more look at the tower of terror, she laughs to herself shaking her head before turning and walking away.
