The Photo
The file burned in her hand. A manilla envelope, filled with a photograph designed to scare and intimidate, that could also lead to salvation and burial. Johanna shook her head and sighed heavily as she sat in the driver's seat of her car. She’d been there for what seemed like hours. In reality it had only been about twenty minutes. But that time moved slow. Seconds ticked, minutes moved at a snails pace and in the end Johanna had to force herself out of the car, the door shutting behind her as a gust of cold wind hit her right in the face. Her eyes moving up from the pavement and towards the house. Following the winding path to the door.
She moved towards it and sighed heavily before turning the knob and walking inside, the smell of cooking food hit her immediately along with the heat from the fireplace. She gave a small smile before breathing in deeply and stepping into the kitchen.
Gustav smiled and gave her a wink as he finished adding salt into his sauce, tasting it for seasoning. He hummed to himself muttering under his breath adding a little more salt and tasting it further with a smile. Johanna shook her head and leaned against the wall. Gustav moved over to her wiping his hands on a tea towel. He leaned over giving her a kiss on the cheek and a wink. Johanna smiled back, weakly. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head.
”What is it?” He knew something was wrong, or on her mind. That’s what happens after a while, you learn to read people. It’s a skill that many officers and investigators know and have. And Gustav was very good at his job.
Johanna swallowed hard and moved over to the kitchen bench, she opened the envelope pulling out the picture, her thumb moving over it, down Gustav and across his daughters face. She was innocent in all this, a victim of the corruption from within and her fathers willingness to fight it. But, Johannas father was in too deep, and he was going to be found out. She inhaled sharply and turned holding the photo up, Gustavs smile faded, his eyes went down and to the side.
Johanna tried to stay stone faced, unsure of what to do. But this, well, this would end it. ”So, that’s a message? To step away? Threatening my kid? It’s...effective no?”
She felt horrible, her heart sinking down into her stomach before offering a meek reply. ”I’m sorry Gustav...I-” He put his hand up and turned away with a deep breath shaking his head as he looked down at the bench, the food and everything in front of him.
His hands gripped the corners, he straightened his back and stayed facing away from her. ”I understand Jo, he’s your father. It’s only right you want to protect him.”
She shook his head moving forward, her hand grabbing his arm lightly to turn him around. ”That isn’t it at all. I’m, I’m doing this for you.” He narrowed his eyes, furrowed his brow and stepped away from her. ”This has gone to far Gustav. It’s time to end it, this is your way out, a way to justify walking away.” Gustav shook his head again and ground his teeth together. Johanna swallowed and sighed heavily. She knew he wouldn’t see it that way. At all.
”Walk away? Let them continue to manipulate, threaten and profit off of a job that is meant to protect people. Benefit society? That’s what I should do?” His voice started off powerful, but ended as it faded to a whisper. His hands moved up to his head running through his wavy brown hair.
Johanna reached up bringing his hands down into hers. ”I’ll leave too. We can just go, find something else to do, go anywhere, do anything. I’ll stay with you.” Her eyes welled with tears. She didn’t realise how tired she was, how much she wanted this to be done. The investigations, the late nights, finding out things about her father and other officers she once respected. It had broken her.
”You could do that? Just drop it all? Walk away? Knowing what they’ve done and quill continue to do Jo?” She closed her eyes and turned she knew what he was about to say. ”I can’t do that Jo, no matter how much I want to. I need to get my daughter away…..” Tears rolled down Johannas cheek, she looked down at the photograph, the file behind it. She needed to take this back to her father. With Gustavs answer. But she stopped mid step, her hand shaking like a leaf. She turned and held the photo out to him, he looked down at it, reaching out to take it. ”Jo…..you know what this means...your father”
”I know what it means for you...and us…” She paused a moment and looked up at him. ”This will never be over. My father made his choice and now...so have you.”
”I’m sorry Jo….if there was another way I-”
”There was, I gave it to you. But, I get it. Believe me I do.” She put her hands on her hips and gave him a small smirk and a nod. ”I’m still behind you….I promise.” He smiled back, stepping forward to pull UJohanna into a kiss, she put her hand on his chest and laughed, maybe this was for the best. ”Gustav.”
”Hmm?”
”The sauce is burning”
It’s better to burn out, than to fade away
”Facing legends…”
Her german accent shines through, not as heavy as many people think it would be. Her black painted lips twisting into a grin as Johanna shakes her head.
”It’s something I have made a point of since stepping foot in this company. Sam Marlowe, legend of the Rolette division, Keira and Roxi, legends in their own ways, and even my opponent this week, Mercedes Vargas. And they have all fallen to me at different times. In fact there was a time last year where it looked like I should have been the next big thing in SCW and the bombshells division. That I, not Alicia Lukas was going to be the lead female from Wolfslair. But, lately it seems as if I have stumbled and fallen. This year has not been kind to me and now after a draw with Sam I find myself at a crossroads. An impasse of confidence. And, I could do what so many others have done and simply quit, become complacent with my place in the world and just be happy to collect a paycheck and a take a spot in the division.”
“A position that many feel all too happy to take. And I don’t even need to say their names for you to know who I mean. But that has never been my attitude, it has never been an option for me.”
“The cold hard truth is, that if the time comes where I look in the mirror and believe I cannot come back, that I cannot redeem myself or improve, then I will pack my shit and head for the door. If there is no way forward then why stay? Why continue to fail when you don’t even have hope of making a return or living up to that potential? Luckily I am far, far from that yet. See I may have lost a few matches this year but each one of them was a match I was in, I haven’t been destroyed, I have always been competitive. And that tells me that I can come back, and get back on the path I started walking when I first came into this company at the end of 2019.”
“Hard to believe I’ve been here a year and a half…”
She scoffs and sneers, turning her upper lip and fluttering her bright blue eyes.
”Twenty months, three title reigns. Wins over some of the best in this company. Truth is I should have become Internet or Bombshells champion by now, I should have become a huge star, the face of the company or at the very least the bombshells division. I obviously have the talent and potential to do it. But for whatever reason I have just not been able to break through. And, honestly I have no one to blame nut myself. It was my fault I was unable to win those matches, to continue climbing the ladder, to get noticed and earn a bombshells title shot or to capitalize and beat Myra for the Internet when she was in the middle of her reign of terror…”
“It was on me, no one else. I have never and will never be one to put the blame on others and ignore my own failures and shortcomings. If you do that, then how will you ever learn? If you can’t look inside and admit to yourself when things are going wrong and be willing to change, then you will keep spiraling down.”
“Now.”
“That is my story, my moments and my admission of self reflection and doubt. So why oh why have I mentioned all of this when I am about to face Mercedes Vargas in a one on one match? Well, simple. Mercedes Vargas is someone who is far more guilty of the sins I have just mentioned than I am. The sin or arrogance and the sin of pride, all wrapped into one package.”
Johanna holds up a finger and shakes her head with a deep sigh.
”Mercedes Vargas is a name in SCW. A big one. A name that still carries weight and respect in some circles. A long and distinguished career in not just this company but many others. From IWF to LAW to WWH to here. Mercedes is someone who has thrown down with the best, beaten many of them and has been a world champion. But that record and that respect has its limits. And this is something you have struggled with Mercedes. See, you believe your place in the history books and your spot on the top of the mountain is secure. That nothing you do now, in the future or over the past few years can tarnish that or remove you from there…”
“That isn’t how the world works.”
“And yes, I can almost see your eyes rolling Mercedes.”
“Not another person commenting on your abysmal win loss record. Not another person pointing out how you haven’t been a champion in a long time and haven’t been in any position to become one. Not another person commenting on your age and your diminishing skill set that was once impressive and now, by comparison to others, seems pedestrian and painfully outdated. And I understand that side of it to. Everyone seems to say the same things to you. But how about instead of simply dismissing it, instead of rolling your eyes like the arrogant self righteous bitch you are, and proudly wear as a badge...you listen…”
Johanna pauses and laughs under her breath.
”I just got done telling you how I own my losses, my mistakes, I don’t just bury them or blame others, I own them and realise I need to change, resurrect myself or step aside. And the issue with you Mercedes, is your ego won’t allow you to do either..”
Johanna shrugs and then folds her arms over her chest.
”You have been doing the same old song and dance for so long that you can’t change. You can’t stop. It’s the repeated thing with you like a punk band that recycles the same three chord progression in each song. You are so set in your ways you won’t change and that is honestly doing you more harm than good. I mean, I could stand here, despite all my losses this year and my average performances and promise that I’m going to destroy you, but that would hold no weight...much like your same old song and dance. And, you also won’t just stop and leave. And that is for an even sadder reason. You have nothing else.”
“What are you without wrestling Mercedes? What are you without a ring to stand in? Nothing. You won’t change, you won’t evolve and you won’t walk away. You refuse to look inside and see your problems and issues….but me?...I refuse to become like you, I refuse to be that blind, that ignorant and that delusional...so I will see you in the ring Mercedes...I will call my shot, go further in this tournament for the Internet championship…...may the best woman win…”
