[Christian Underwood]

Post all roleplays for this match here.
Limits: 1 roleplay per week, per character, 5,000 limit.

Good luck!

[Andrew]

WE’RE FACING OPPONENTS WHO DON’T MIX WELL TOGETHER

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is teamed with his friend, and Tag Team partner, Senor Vinnie, in match against the team of Brother David and Fenris at Summer XXXTreme IX. This should be an interesting match as Bill and Vinnie are a great team and work well together but the team of Fenris and Brother David are two wrestlers who will not be able to work together as a viable team.

The break provided by the camera person is over and the Network returns control to the camera person and they get a shot of Bill sitting at the patio table with Iris sitting on the patio next to him. They inform Bill they are now live broadcasting.

WE ARE THE BETTER TAG TEAM

Bill:  I wish to welcome everyone and thank you for tuning in for my comments leading up to my Tag Team match at Summer XXXTreme IX. I’ll start my comments here on our patio at our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, but since it is starting to get hot out here once it gets to the point where I don’t want to remain in the heat I’ll transfer inside the house and finish my presentation from there.

Bill takes a drink of Classic Coke then returns the can to the patio table.

Bill:  Today I’ll present information proving that our team, consisting of me and Senor Vinnie, is the better team as we work well together while there is proof that Fenris and Brother David Shepherd are not going to be able to work together. It should be obvious to everyone, if you’ve been paying attention, that David can’t even get along with his own family members so you know he can’t get along with another wrestler especially one as talented as Fenris. When we saw Fenris and David in the Front Office, with Management telling them they have to team up even though they can’t get along, that was one of the most hilarious things I’ve seen in a long time.

DISABLING OPPONENTS

Bill becomes annoyed when the flies in his backyard start buzzing him and Iris. Bill is swiping at the flies while Iris attempts to snag flies but she’s too slow to catch them. Bill, being quicker than Iris, swipes at a fly and snags it and has the fly trapped in his hand. Bill slowly opens his hand and with his other hand he picks the fly up with his fingers. He then holds the fly in his fingers and pulls the wings off the fly. After Bill has de-winged the fly he places the it on the the patio table but the incapacitated fly can’t fly since Bill removed their wings so all it can do is walk around on the patio table.

Bill:  Here’s a riddle for you. What do you call a fly that can no longer fly? You call it a WALK of course. Har har har!

Bill realizes not everyone watching detests flies like he does so he gives an explanation.

Bill:  Before you get evil on me for taking out this fly let me explain. Flies are disgusting. You know what I mean. They’re disgusting just like wrestlers like Brother David Shepherd are disgusting. Flies have sticky feet and they’re attracted to shit and they like to walk around in the shit and often lay their eggs in it. Now, honestly, do those of you watching my presentation still feel compassionate toward this fly knowing that it walks around on shit and then walks on your food, on you, your clothing, and other places in and around your home? Do you still feel compassion for this fly that can bring you severe illness and disease? If you still have compassion for flies then you probably also have compassion for Brother David Shepherd for being a pathetic shit bag of a wrestler but that’s your business not mine. But for the sake of showing that I have a little bit of compassion for this wing-less fly, who is now called a WALK since they can no longer fly, I’ll ensure he has a quick ending. Watch this.

Bill picks up the wingless fly from the patio table and holds it up into the air in his fingers. Bill whistles to the birds looking on and one of the birds swoops down and snags the fly from Bill’s hands and quickly devours it. The bird then flies off chipping a thank you to Bill for the snack. Bill picks up his can of Classic Coke, takes a drink, then raises the can of Classic Coke in the air as a thank you to bird.

Bill:  It’s starting to get hot here in the backyard, and the flies are picking up their action, so instead of torturing more flies I’ll move inside the house. Once the camera person is ready to broadcast from our living room we will return to my presentation.

There’s a short break as the camera person moves their camera into the living room inside the house. Once Bill and Iris are in the living room and sitting on the couch the camera person informs the Network to continue broadcasting.

Bill:  This is much better inside the house. We don’t have the heat since the air conditioning is on and we don’t have the flies annoying us. Ahhhhh!!!

Bill and Iris stretch then Bill returns looking into the camera to continue with his comments.

ELIMINATING ANNOYING OBJECTS

Bill:  Before I go into comments to destroy the egos of Brother David and Fenris I’d like to show you a video of a competition Iris was involved in recently. The lead-in for this competition is that an organization here in the State of Georgia has a Fly Tracking competition where people enter their dogs into the competition to see which dog is the best at tracking, and killing, flies. I entered Iris into this competition because although she is slow in speed to actually catch flies she is superior when it comes to killing them. Just watch the video of the competition instead of me trying to explain the performance of Iris to you.

The video of the dog fly tracking and killing competition begins to play and we watch with interest since we’ve never seen a competition like this before. The Narrator explains the competition to the viewers.

Narrator:  The concept of this competition is to see how well the dogs can track and kill flies. Some of the dogs are quick and can snap at the flies while the flies are flying and kill them in mid-flight. Other dogs who are slower in speed have to find other ways to kill the flies. We have set up a table where we placed dozens of containers of sugar water to attract the flies. The winner of this competition isn’t always the dog who is the quickest to snag flies out of the air as the final scores are decided by a combination of tracking ability, killing ability, and the dog being able to reason out what they need to do to win this competition. As the flies come in to get the sugar water the dogs do their thing as you can see.

Bill:  This next part is what I want you to pay attention to. It is where Iris shows that just because she’s slow doesn’t mean she isn’t a great fly killer.

As the video of the dog fly tracking competition continues we watch as Iris slowly waddles around near the table that has the sugar water containers on it. Iris knows the other dogs are more agile and quick than she is but she also knows she has the secret weapon to win this competition. Iris calmly watches the other dogs do their thing and after the other doggy contestants have done their thing Iris walks down-wind of the table where sugar water was placed to attract flies. Iris turns around and walks to the end of the table so that she is down-wind of the table and the wind is blowing strongly toward her. She turns so her ass is facing toward the table and even with the wind blowing heavily toward her, she lets go with a horrendous deadly fart that drives into the wind and immediately kills all the flies on the table. The other dogs in the competition run off knowing they have just been defeated by Iris. The people running the competition hand the trophy to Iris to declare her the winner and the video ends.

Bill:  That’s my girl Iris! Way to go! Although most of you don’t like me, Vinnie, or Iris, you have to admit Iris has special abilities other dogs can only fantasize about. Although you’re probably not understanding why I showed you the competition with Iris rest assured I’ll explain it to you. Just as all the other dogs in the fly tracking and killing competition thought they were the best because they were quick and agile so wrestlers like Fenris and Brother David feel they are the best because they think they are quick and agile. But what happened in the doggy competition? Iris laid back watching the other dogs do what they seem to do best then Iris let go with her secret weapon and humiliated all the other competitors. That’s exactly what me and Vinnie will do to Fenris and Brother David. We’ll allow you two to strut around the ring and run your mouths during the match but when the time comes we’ll do like Iris and do what we do best and hand you two the defeat in the match.

Bill looks at the clock and when he sees what time it is he gets excited.

WHAT YOU USED TO BE IS NOT A VALID CLAIM FOR WHAT YOU ARE NOW

Bill:  Sorry for the distraction but when I looked at the clock I noticed it is time for one of my favorite programs on television. The name of the program is Comedy Parody TV and they make fun of real events by presenting a parody skit of it. Please endure the short break in my comments as most of their skits are short. Since they only present a skit once a week I need to watch it, and you can watch it also, then I’ll return to my regular presentation.

Comedy Parody TV comes on and the cameraman focuses on it. It appears they are doing a parody of the Saddam Hussein criminal trial in Iraq. We watch and listen to their parody version of the trial.

Prosecutor:  Saddam Hussein do you know why you are being prosecuted at this trial?

Saddam:  Because I am the leader of Iraq and you hate me! I am Saddam Hussein. I am Iraqi!

Prosecutor:  I have some some questions for you. I ask the questions and, by law, you are required to give me an honest answer. Do you understand?

Saddam:  F**k You! I am Saddam Hussein. I am Iraqi!

Prosecutor:  I will take that as an honest answer. The question I have is what is your favorite song?

Saddam:  Iraqi Raccoon!

Prosecutor:  What is your favorite ice cream?

Saddam:  Iraqi Road!

Prosecutor:  And, finally, what is your favorite cartoon show?

Saddam:  Iraqi and Bullwinkle! What the hell do these questions have to do with my criminal trial?

Prosecutor:  Nothing at all. We just wanted to have fun at your expense. You are already found guilty and you have received the death sentence. Have a great day.

Saddam:  What? This isn’t a trial this is a circus! I demand to be let go! I am Saddam Hussein and I am the leader of Iraq! I am Iraqi!

Prosecutor:  You WERE the leader of Iraq. Now you are not. Bye!

The parody skit on the Comedy Parody TV program is done and Bill turns off the television and returns to focus his attention to the camera.

Bill:  On this edition of Comedy Parody TV it just happened to be a parody skit of the Saddam Hussein criminal trial in Iraq. It could have been any parody skit but this one, of Saddam Hussein’s criminal trial, works perfectly for my presentation with our upcoming match. How’s that you ask? Good question so here’s the good answer. Saddam Hussein was defiant at his criminal trial until he was executed by the Death Penalty. He kept demanding everyone acknowledge him as the leader of Iraq and the Prosecutor kept reminding him that he WAS the leader of Iraq but as of the trial he was only a criminal who was being prosecuted for his crimes. For Fenris and Brother David I see the comparison. No I’m not stating you two should be on trial and receive a sentence of some sort from your trial. The comparison I make is that in the trial Saddam Hussein kept stating he IS the leader of Iraq and the Prosecutor had to keep reminding him that he WAS the leader of Iraq but he is not any longer. The comparison? Both of you held Championships and it seems that both of you like to remind everyone that you were such-and-such Champion. I respond, as the Prosecutor in the Saddam trial did, that you two WERE Champions at one time but you are not Champions now. You can talk all the talk, smack, and shit, you want, but the fact remains that since you two held Championships not much has come your way. When we have our match at Summer XXXTreme IX you two will bumble around trying to figure out how two egotistical smart asses can work together to appear viable in our match while me and Vinnie will easily defeat you two as we are a fantastic team and work well together. You two need to deal with that as you have no choice but to deal with the truth.

Bill lets out a hearty laugh and that causes Iris to attempt a laugh also and that causes Bill to laugh even louder. When Bill regains his composure he continues with his comments.

HONESTY

Bill:  Fenris. . .David. . .Although you’re probably screaming at your televisions calling me a jerk let me assure you that I’m a fair person and I tell the truth. For the benefit of everyone watching I’ll run down our match history so everyone knows the facts and the truth.

Bill picks up a sheet of paper.

Bill:  When I came to Sin City Wrestling I made it clear I had a request for three dream matches. The opponents included in those dream matches were Fenris, Griffin Hawkins, and Casey Williams. I admire the work of Fenris and Hawkins and since Casey was the first wrestler in my career to hand me a loss in my original home town of Oakland, California, I wanted a match with him to even the score. Casey hasn’t accepted yet but I hope that he will some day.

Bill rattles the paper in his hand.

Bill:  The first dream match was against you, Fenris, at Climax Control 249 on September 29, 2019, and it was a fantastic match and you won by pinfall. I had another match against you at Climax Control 288 on December 20, 2020, and this time you got the submission win over me. As for you, Brother David, we had a multi-wrestler Roulette Championship match, at Climax Control 286 on December 6, 2020,where the winner was the wrestler who could grab the Roulette Championship from the raised platform and land on the mat with possession of it. Both of us grabbed onto the Roulette Championship and fell off the platform. Both of us had possession of it until we hit the mat. When we hit the mat the force was enough to cause me to lose my grip on the Championship and you ended up maintaining your grip on it for the win.

Bill places the sheet of paper on the couch.

Bill:  I don’t call your victories cheap. I don’t call your victories illegal. I don’t call you jerks or assholes for those victories. All three of those victories were obtained within the rules of the match. I’m not like other wrestlers in the Federation who complain about every loss as if all their opponents cheated them. Although I acknowledge these victories by Fenris and Brother David the fact remains that they have been placed together as a Tag Team to face the team of me and Senor Vinnie. When you have two wrestlers like us, who are friends, outstanding wrestlers, and exceptional Tag Team partners, going up against a team thrown together, with one member who cannot even work with his own family members but he is expected to work with a wrestler more talented and respected than he is, you have is a recipe for disaster for their team. Remember that you heard it from me that me and Vinnie will be victorious in our match against Brother David and Fenris. Thanks for joining me today for my presentation.

Bill gives the CUT sign to the camera person and they call into the Network to let them know they are cutting their camera feed. They are quick to return to regularly scheduled programming the instant the camera person cuts their feed.

[The Good Shepherds]

Desperation
Observation Deck of the STRAT; Las Vegas, NV 7/4/2021

The last couple of weeks have really been an up and down rollercoaster ride.  All of the twists and turns have been enough to fill me with dread, test my anxiety, and make my stomach fly up into my throat.  But it’s also provided me with some joys, a strong sense of adventure, and made me smile wider than I have in a long time.  I’m still trying to decide if it is “worth it” or not, but I’m just living life, one day at a time.

Despite my last attempt at a date going so wrong, I decided to try it again.  A real bad boy this time.  Someone who might not care about my very recent past, someone who I felt a connection with pretty quickly.  Someone who just looked as if they could see past the bullshit and only see me for once.  Call it intuition.  Call it whatever you want to call it.  Just don’t judge me for what’s about to happen.

I reserved a table, and used a bit of my clout in Sin City to make sure said table had a wonderful view of the firework display over the Las Vegas Strip.  The table was spruced up a bit with a tasteful white rose to match the seating and table cloth.  A candle was placed in the center, and there was already a bottle of top shelf champagne, authentic champagne, in an ice bucket off to the side.  But none of this compares to the view of the city.  It’s almost too much for my eyes to drink in all at once.  Not only can I see most of the Las Vegas Strip, but I can see clear across most of the city.  I had timed the date so that we might be able to see the first firework shot up as the appetizers were being brought out.

Come to think of it, I might have shot myself in the foot with this, because it’s going to be hard to surpass this first date.  But, maybe I am overcompensating.  If you knew the full truth, then maybe you would know why.  My water glass isn’t even empty yet as our waiter brings a pitcher and refills it.  I give a nod to thank him silently, and he nods back, respecting my discretion at the moment.  I take in another drink of the beautiful city that lasts just long enough for my date to arrive.

“Trevor?”

The voice brings back so many painfully beautiful moments of my past, and nearly a tear to my eye.  I am flooded with more than my body was prepared to handle at that moment, and I can’t even look at my date yet.

Me:  It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

My date stops to admire the view for a moment, silent.  But I can feel his heart racing a bit out of nerves, but calming from the quiet view of the city that never sleeps.  He pulls his chair out and takes a seat as I seem to shield my face at first.

Dax:  I can’t lie.  This would be a bit of overkill if I didn’t wanna see how this adventure plays out so bad.

Still shielding my face, I offer a chuckle in response, letting him hang on that statement for a moment.

Me:  Adventure is an understatement…

I lower my hand and turn to face Dax.  The color drains from his face almost instantly.  He scoots his chair back and starts to get up when I reach across the table to grab onto his hand.  That old familiar spark ignites something within me.

Me:  Please don’t go.

Dax scoffs and rolls his eyes, ripping his hand away from me.  My old flame did not feel the same way that I was feeling right now.

Dax:  You catfished me, and expect me to sit here?  Not to mention the literal hell you and your family put me through?  Fuck you.  I don’t owe you a goddamn thing.

Me:  You’re right.  You don’t.  But I owe you more than I can atone for right now.  Hopefully you are willing to give me time to make things right.

Dax’s eyes are filled with fire.  Almost too dark for me to recognize, and yet, it feels like home.  He pushes his chair in hard enough to rattle the champagne bottle in the bucket.

Me:  You have to let me make it right, Dax.

Dax:  I don’t have to do anything, David!  That’s the point.  And I think you knew that when you signed up a fake profile on a dating site to even get me to show up here.  Just face the facts.  You’re toxic.  You’re incapable of anything right now.  You’re held down by your dad, bruh, and you always will be.

This is where I get highly irritated.  I scoff now and I am able to somehow capture his attention.  Now that I have it, I must make the most of it.

Me:  Shows how much you know.  I told my entire family to fuck off over a month ago.  They don’t have shit to do with me or my decisions anymore.

Dax glares down at me, as I have yet to get up.  He doesn’t say anything for a bit, letting an uncomfortable silence engulf us both.

Dax:  Everything you do is to impress your father.  You tried being a good little soldier.  You and me have thrown fists against each other just because your dad told you to because of my “sinful lifestyle”.  You went to SCW to impress him, to chase down his foe and make them pay for what they did to him.  You only took the Roulette Championship because you wanted to impress him.

Me:  Are you not listening to me when I say that I told him to go fuck himself?

Dax turns and pulls out a seat next to me to sit, but mostly so that we would be at eye level.

Dax:  I hear you loud and clear, bruh.  The problem is that you are rebelling against him to show him that you can be an adult, and do what he does, because you want to be him.  He never gave you enough hugs or some bullshit, and now, your entire world view is based on his fucked up rewrite of the Bible, a book that’s already fucked up on it’s own.  Going against that isn’t breaking away from him.  It’s throwing a temper tantrum to keep his attention.  You’re just a child, David.  You’re never going to grow up.

Those words are like a fiery sword going right through my ribs, and straight through my heart.  I’m not ashamed to admit that a tear breaks free from the dam I thought I had built strong enough not to leak.

Me:  So, you only want to hurt me?  If that’s all you want to do, then it’s best that you leave.

Dax:  Your father tortured me, pretending to do it as a kindness because I was a “wayward soul”.  He tried to snuff out our flame for so long.  And when you didn’t follow me out of the doors of that church when I was thrown out with just the pants on my legs, because I can’t even say the shirt on my back.  He wasn’t kind enough to even let me keep that.  When you sat there and cried like a little bitch… I knew that you had snuffed out that flame for him, and that we were just a fun story to tell people, and not the perfect love story.  When I had to walk barefoot through the rain to a bus stop, I knew that you were the worst torture I went through in Tulsa.  I thought I made it clear when me and the rest of Over the Edge donated to your drive, that I came to set myself free, and nothing more.

Each word is like a little razor, sliding against my skin until it goes beneath the skin, and to my insides.  I can’t even say a word.  The fireworks display begins outside, but the beauty of it all is wasted on this moment.  Each pop in the sky serves only to make me jump a little.  My most vulnerable moment, crushing me under it’s weight.

Me:  But… I’ve always loved you.  I hoped I could show you just how sorry I really am.

Dax:  Oh, you have.  I know it’s not right, but if you loved me, you wouldn’t have brought cameras here to record this.  You would have given me the respect of doing this in private.  Forget the catfishing.  If this were private, I would have heard you out so that you could let me go the way I let you go.  But you couldn’t even give me that.  You say you’re sorry.  I believe you.  You’re a sorry ass excuse of a man, no, a child.  You will drag down anyone you try to get involved with.  I feel sorry for whoever that might be.  And I’m glad that Fenris dodged that bullet.  Until you get some help, you will only ever hurt people.  Right profession, wrong attitude for a “happily ever after”.  And those are the facts.  Now, if you will excuse me…

Me:  Please.  Don’t go…

But he does.  He walks right out of those doors, leaving me to sit there, all alone, broken, mangled, empty.  In that very moment, I knew I had to never let myself get brought down to that level again.  The tears were immediately sucked back up inside.  My face turns to that of stone.  I pour a cup of champagne and I down it.  My face twists into disgust as I wave the waiter over.  However, instead of the waiter, my lovely sister shows up once again.  I sigh and roll my eyes as she takes a seat, uninvited.

Me:  Do you ever give up?

Esther:  Um, no.  I can’t keep watching you shoot yourself in the foot.  I came to watch you with your date, and what I found instead was just…

She looks down, eyes wide, and she makes this wet explosive sound as she shakes her head.  She looks back at me and sighs.

Esther:  It was just messy.  It’s worse than I imagined.  I mean, I thought it was going to be like some Tinder rando, or a Grindr date, but… Dax?  That’s beyond fucked up, bro.

Me: I don’t think I asked for your opinion, or your company.  Goodbye little girl.

Esther:  Look here you little bitch.  You can insult me and push me away, but I’m not going to leave you alone to go through this.  I never have left you alone, because I’m your pesky little sister, and I’m going to keep being that.  You’re stuck with me, bitch.  Get used to it.

I sigh and go for another drink of the champagne.  Esther takes the bottle before I’m able to get it.  She looks past me and to the fireworks display outside, taking the bottle to the head.  She belches after and then wipes her mouth.

Me:  You really are disgusting.  And annoying.

Esther:  Right back atcha, asshole.  Now, what is super disgusting is the fact that your waiter has been eye fucking you since the second you were seated.  He literally fought another waiter to get your table.  And you’re too wrapped up in your little “Wahhh, I wanna be a girl and flock back to my ex who wants nothing to do with me.” to see it.  C’mon, man… grow a pear and fuck your waiter in the men’s room.

I don’t know whether to find that funny or be offended by it.  But, my body answers for me as I chuckle, looking back to see exactly what she’s talking about.  He’s a bit lanky, but he makes up for it in one perfect place.  He licks at his bottom lip, and I turn back to my sister, laughing.

Me:  Yeah, like I want my first time in six years to be in a tight space, in public, that has more germs than a dog’s dirty ass.

Esther:  No!  No.  I’ll babysit this bottle of champagne, and you go get you some sexual healing.  Get your dick wet…

Again, I laugh.  But I look back at the waiter, who is taking off his cumberbun and grabbing his jacket from the rack behind the bar.  He, along with more than a few people in the restaurant have heard the conversation, and he walks over to the men’s room.  Esther pushes me from behind, trying to get me to leave my chair.  Finally, I get up and walk slowly to the men’s room.  Esther walks behind me with the bottle of champagne to block the door after I’ve entered.

I’m not one to kiss and tell, or to bang and brag.  But, Esther was right.  It was completely seedy and disgusting, but it didn’t matter, because we used every inch of that stall, and got sweatier than hogs, slapping against each other.  At one point, I lost myself in the fireworks display through the skylight, matching my very moment of climax.  Wide mouthed and wide eyed, veins popping out in my forehead as sweat dripped down my face.  It truly was the best medicine.  And for a moment, I felt calloused enough to immediately get dressed.  He dressed himself too, and then slid his number into my shirt pocket.  We pushed our way through the stall doors, washed up a little, and then out of the door.  Esther is fending patrons off from entering.  As the waiter tries to rush ahead to exit, I grab onto his hand, and invite him back to my room, to which he very much obliges.




Revelations (pt 7)
Former Church of the Good Shepherds; Las Vegas, NV 7/9/2021


The bags are packed for my long weekend.  They’re in the back of my Suburban, waiting for me.  And yet, I couldn’t leave Las Vegas without saying goodbye to my new following.  Some might call it a cult, while others might realize it is exactly what it is; a mockery of the various cults of Christianity.  Ridiculous promises made by some sadistic, apathetic sky daddy do not apply here.  Only doing what you feel most compelled to do.  And not surprisingly, the people of Las Vegas are loving it.

I walk into the desecrated church, and people are already seated.  I am their messiah, and they stand for me as I walk down the aisle of the dimly lit, flickering lighting.  I look forward to my favorite touch, a stained glass window, depicting my face upon the body of Christ, crucified in surprisingly graphic detail.  There are two barely dressed men, dirty from the streets, who walk around the altar, lighting the candles to give this room a bit more oomph.  I realized I love theatrics.  I step up onto the altar, and kiss one of the dirty men before punching the other in the face.  Both are equally pleased with the results, as is the congregation.  They cheer and I wave to them before I take the podium.

Me:  Hello all of my fellow Heathens!  Saturday night’s alright for fighting, but Fridays were made for fucking shit up!

Congregation:  AMEN!

I look around at the group of about sixty filling the pews.  Some are there, loyal only to the fact that I provide them showers and shelter.  Others who are funding this farce just enjoy the depravity of it all.  Both are equal in my eyes.

Me:  I want each and every one of you to leave here tonight and vandalize something, beat the shit out of someone, have the filthiest consentual sex possible, or, I don’t know… steal a car or something.  Make up for the fact that you won’t get to gather before me for two weeks.  Spread my message across the City of Sin.  Reclaim your power!

Congregation:  AMEN!

Me:  For inspiration, let me tell you about something very personal.  I spent years covering up who I was, and it drove me a little nuts.  I did everything to please someone else, and that didn’t serve me at all.  I’m out here making up for lost time.  Instead of damning my sin, I’m embracing it.  I’m living it.  I am embodying it.  Rage and Lust belong to me.  I just want to fight and fuck.

Congregation:  HELL YEAH!

I smirk.

Me:  Tomorrow night, I will be in Canada, where the hellfire burns just a little softer.  I will be taking on Caleb Storms again.  I call that an easy victory.  I’m not concerned about that.  And with Fenris as the referee?  Bring it on, buddy!  Help Caleb get a victory, because I won’t hesitate to knock you out.  It means nothing to me.

I shrug my shoulders as the crowd gets behind me even more.  They clap and whistle for me, making my cheeks blush a little.  Before I even know what I’m going to say, I begin speaking.

Me:  And the same can be said for my match at Summer XXXTreme.  Bill Barnhart is a nobody.  I don’t give a shit about him.  And the fact that Senor Vinnie holds him in his cabinet, that just proves what a joke he is too.  And as he pointed out on Twitter earlier this week, I owe him an ass beating, and a true victory over him.  I already have a few over boring Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.  French fried taters, mmmmmh…

No laugh, but I had to try anyway.  I take the microphone from the podium and I begin walking down the steps of the altar and to the aisles.

Me:  But, more on that later.  Let’s address the white wolf in the room, Fenris.  Let’s talk about that for a minute, since what I do with my dick seems to be everyone’s fucking concern these days.  Forget about my ability to win matches.  Forget about all of the training I do to stay in top shape for wrestling.  People just want to stare at my ass.  Please do.  I’ve worked hard at maintaining it.  Where has my mouth been?  Among other places, against Fenris’ in a disgustingly sloppy, horny, angry, vindictive way, stealing the gum from his mouth.  I left him wondering what else I could do with that tongue.

This gains some laughter, and some clapping as well.  A few people look on in a sinister manner as they imagine just what my tongue is capable of.  I flick it out, fast and agile, as I look around.  This gets the crowd going even more.

Me:  My next exhibition could charge big money on Pornhub, not the SIn City Network.  I might even join the Mile High Club tonight and put that out there.  I am not ashamed of my sexuality anymore.  I’m embracing it.  So, instead of making all of these backhanded comments on Twitter, or in your promotional videos, why don’t we just fuck and get it over with?  Oh right, because you’re not the savage that you claim to be.  You beat my ass, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  Truthfully, I had it coming because I was being an impetuous child.  I did kind of enjoy that though.  You were fun to mess with.  And now that I’m in a better place, I’d gladly give you a go.  Just let those furry wolf balls drop, and we’ll have some fun, if you’re capable of that, you pompous, arrogant, boring turd.

Everyone grows louder as they begin to volunteer themselves for my own pleasure.  I don’t feel like obliging them at this very moment, but the offers are nice.  I turn to face the other side of the congregation.

Me:  My true potential was unlocked because of Fenris, but I don’t owe him a ring.  I don’t owe him anything.  Not even the stroking of his ego inside of the ring for our match.  He can walk around like I’m under his spell, but really… it’s clear he’s under mine.  Granted, I didn’t mean to, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m at least a bit attractive.  If I wasn’t, people wouldn’t pull their phones out at the gym and record me on the bike.  So, I can’t really blame him when I gave him a little taste.  My only fear is that he will not be able to keep it in his pants to focus on our match at Summer XXXTreme.

As arrogant as that sounded, it is a legitimate concern of mine.

Me:  I know that Bill and Vinnie aren’t exactly in the best places they’ve been in their careers, so this could easily be something for them to capitalize on.  This dysfunction is obvious, and has been for quite some time.  Now, I’m not sure which personality of Vinnie’s is more likely to stoop to that kind of level for an easy win, but we all know Bill.  He’s not been the same since AWA.  Where’s the crazy fucker that stabs people with forks?  Where did he go?  Because this washed up version of him is just sad.  It’s boring.  And I’ve just got to say that the person I feel most sorry for in this whole situation is Bea.  I mean, someone who is that boring can’t be a good lay.  And even if he was, how can one bring herself to want his sweaty body hovering over her, trying to make up for all of his shortcomings, aching from the numerous ass kickings he gets, week in and week out, and still feel like he’s a real man?  I bet she doesn’t.  I bet she googles the best ways to let down a partner softly, without bruising an ego.  “Sorry, honey.  I’ve got a headache.”  “My back hurts from getting my ass kicked by (insert any Bombshell’s name here).”  “I left the oven on.”  “Why don’t we just cuddle anymore?”  Such a good wife, and yet, completely unsatisfied.  But, I bet that two week stretch that they had the Mixed Tag Team Championships, they fucked over every inch of those belts.

The crowd can’t stop laughing from their bellies.  Very guttural and it just keeps me going as I walk to the pulpit and turn around to face the congregation.

Me:  I sure hope Austin and Tempest had those belts steam cleaned, or thrown out and replaced with new ones.  I bet his sweat is still leaking out from the crevices of those belts, and the stench of failure just doesn’t come out.  But, I’m not saying anything that no one else is saying.  I’m not bringing up anything fresh.  And for that, I’m sorry.  It’s hard to make a good sandwich out of a moldy loaf of bread.  Without meat.  Or cheese. Or condiments.  Devoid of any and all flavor, except must.  So instead, let me remind everyone of one thing.  Bill has been made my bitch time and time again inside of that ring.  His hopes of being a Roulette Champion crushed thrice by my own hand.  That was me.  I did that.  Sure, it involved a championship belt, but just to say that I’ve never been beat by Bill Barnhart, I will carry my team to victory, like I’ve come to terms with happening already.

A simple shrug before I pick up one of the candlesticks.  I run my finger through the flame, daringly.  I raise it up close to my face to cast a shadow upon it.

Me:  Much like watching a Bill Barnhart promotional video, I’m bored of him.  But, is Senor Vinnie really that much more interesting?  Even with two personalities, he still lacks any sort of depth.  Let’s face it.  He’s the Christina Rose of the Men’s Division.  I’m surprised that Vinnie hasn’t pulled any muscles with his reaching efforts.  At least Christina, Crystal, La Paloma, horny housewife with a split personality… er, sorry… that was someone else.  But we all thought it!  Oh, right, at least the purple haired one is so ridiculous that people… wait, just like Vinnie, they don’t watch her either.  I was trying not to insult Vinnie that badly, because even I think that was kind of harsh.  I almost feel bad about it.  But, the problem lies with you, Vinnie.  Be better.

I slowly set the candle back down on the altar as I walk in front of it, fanning the flames with my passing hand, going through the flames in the process.

Me:  While this team of abysmal personality has a lot in common, there is one thing that is different here.  See, Bill has the sex appeal of a grapefruit with a hole in it.  I feel bad for Bea.  But, I feel jealous of Valora West.  And I have to believe that deep in my heart, Vinnie dumped her.  Because Vinnie looks like a 90’s porn fantasy come to life.  Like, I look at him, and I’m reminded of my private time in the computer room.  My vision goes slightly grainy, and he’s got a pizza in his hand.  He apologizes for getting there thirty-one minutes after I ordered, and hopes it doesn’t affect his tip.  I assure him it won’t, if he delivers something else.  And then music from the 80’s starts playing, because it’s so low budget.  And the smell of Jergins fills my nostrils all over again.  Senor Vinnie, hell yeah.  He’s insane, so the sex would be good.

I stop passing the candles and turn back to the congregation.

Me:  Either way, I don’t have time to entertain the idea of either of them pinning me.  And Fenris is far too self-important to let himself lose to Team Scrubs.  And, let’s be honest here.  If we were to lose, I would do what any sensible human being would do.  Locate the propeller system of the boat and chuck myself over the edge and into the propeller to become shark bait.  Because that would be career suicide, and I’m far too young to do that.  So, even though I don’t view these two ass hats as viable challenges, independently or combined, I’m going to treat this like a World Heavyweight Championship match.  I’m going to bring the fire, and I’m going to rain hell down on Vinnie and Bill.  This is my promise to you, my fellow Heathens!  So please, make sure you commit a felony act or two, and then tune into Summer XXXTreme IX, live on the Sin City Network on July 18th, 2021 to watch me make up for not knocking Vinnie’s cock off the last time we met in the ring!  Amen!

Congregation:  AMEN!

And with that, I knock over the podium and begin stomping it to pieces.  The congregation begins to dismantle some of the pews, throwing them around.  Others start to bust out windows with rubble on the ground.  It puts a smile on my face.  However, my flight leaves relatively soon, so I make haste toward the aforementioned Suburban to start my trip to Vancouver for Supernova IV’s pre show.

[Fenris]

Taking Care of Family In My Own Way

Turnberry Towers

Okay, come on. Do we really have to explain things? Ever since his debut in 2018, this was the primary setting for anything and everything related to the SCW Superstar known as the “White Wolf” aka Fenris. If he and his brother Aron were not at the GO Gym, it was simple enough to know where to find them. Kristjan Baltasarsson - Fenris - was what some might call a homebody, a hermit if you will, he had his set routine and his preferences. He rarely went to the movies. He preferred an old fashioned pub to a modern nightclub when he had the rare desire to go out for a drink. The closest he might come was visiting the Golden Ring Casino as a regular.

But now here we were; at the lowest level of where the brothers Baltasarsson called home in the parking garage. The blistering heat of the day was slowly subsiding as dusk had begun to fall. Save for the usual morning run, a workout at the Gym and relaxing in the Towers’ pool, the siblings had remained inside to avoid the worst part of the day’s heat, save for one task that Fenris had set for himself. Something that he had been planning for the past few weeks, and with an assist from his friend and trainer Gabriel Stevens, it had now been taken care of. Fenris had just asked if it could be taken care of either early in the day, or later in the afternoon/evening to better stay out of the temperatures that were reaching in an excess of over 110.

The sound of the garage were all around, but two vehicles took center stage of this scenario as a brand new white Spyder Porsche 718 pulled around the curve to enter the garage, followed closely by a more familiar white Mazda MX, the car Fenris had called his own since he first purchased it three years previous. The Mazda followed the Porsche until the Spyder pulled into a vacant spot, and the Mazda in the space right beside it. Once settled and the engine shut off, the drivers’ side doors of both vehicles opened and from out of the Porsche emerged Fenris, and from the Mazda, Aron.

Turning on both lock and alarm, Aron walked around to where his brother stood, admiring his brand new ride. A look of triumphant pride was like a mask to the older of the two, as he had both heart and mind set on this car for nigh on a year before he was able to secure the deal with Gabriel’s aid. Both brothers took a moment to admire the sleek quality of Fenris’s new ride, when Aron decided  dose of reality might be in order when he spoke, “You know Mrs. Hyde is going to throw a fit over using this parking space, right?”

Fenris tore his gaze from his new “baby” and gave Aron a quizzical frown as he said, “Who the hell cares? They’re MY parking spaces!”

Aron said, “I know you got two reserved for the condo when you bought the place but she’s been using your second one for two years now.”

“Without even bothering to ask.” Fenris pointed out. It was just a lucky coincidence that the older British woman had been out this day, otherwise a battle would have erupted over something so trivial. Fenris would have been in the right, but when dealing with an older woman who was used to getting her own way, and Fenris who was just stubborn and crass, it would have been the social equivalent to World War Three. Aron watched as his brother gazed over his new car, a look of delight shining in his eyes. Kristjan never had much use for amassing much in the form of material possessions. He had a comfortable home and that was all he needed or desired. But this...

“She’s a fucking beauty, isn’t she?” Kristjan asked, to which Aron had little alternative but to nod in agreement; both brothers having a distinct appreciation for cars of quality.

“Now all you have to do is sell the old one.” Aron offered. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t trade it in.”

Fenris shook his head and with an indifferent shrug of the shoulders, answered, “Would have been a waste to do either.”

“Why…?” Aron started to ask as he made to hand the keys to the Mazda over to his brother, only for Kristjan to brush the offering aside, saying, “Because it’s yours now.”

“Mine?” Aron repeated, unsure if he had heard correctly. “You-you’re giving me the Mazda?” The only answer he received was his brother’s silent shrug of the shoulders. True, the car was used, but Kristjan took such care of it that it was like new and low on mileage. Aron smiled. It was true that Fenris was an asshole of the highest order - but he was also one of the most generous people that he knew. He had money, and he was often found spending it more on others rather than himself.

“Besides, you need a car and this way I don’t have to chauffeur you everywhere!” Fenris said. Ah! There he was! That was his brother.

“Thank you K-” Aron started to say, but Fenris cringed and held up a hand, “Please… don’t make a big deal out of it.”


Friday

“It was a lovely gesture, giving your old car to Aron for his own.” His mother Eva said from her end of the video chat session. Fenris sat on the patio of the condo, a drink in one hand and the laptop set up on the glass end table in front of him. Being so far away from their family was difficult on both brothers, but it was a necessary evil when involved in such a business as they were. That was why Eva and her husband Benedikt insisted on regular calls, both video and otherwise, so they could see their boys. Aron was only too happy to do so. Fenris acted put off, but everyone knew it to be an act. These calls were as important to him as anyone.

“He told you?”

“Honey, you gave him a car valued at almost 3695400 krona.” Eva smiled. “Word sort of spread.”

“I bet Elin and Viktoria just loved that.” Fenris murmured, then spoke aloud. “If they expect me to buy them a car next…”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous!” Eva countered with a mother’s fierce loyalty from one child to the next. “Besides, with the economy here opening back up, both have started looking for work.”

A skeptical Kristjan snorted in mock disbelief, but Eva was adamant. “It’s true! They’ve even been talking about moving out once they do and renting a place together!” But as she went on to pass along the random bit of family gossip, something else had attracted the attention of her son...

It was something just off-camera on his mother’s side that attracted Fenris’s curiosity; no. More so concern than curiosity. While his mother continued to talk to him, his eyes shifted as subtly as was remotely possible to behind her where he was seeing his baby sister, the darling of their family, walk step inside of the kitchen to pour for herself a cup of tea, His head cocked to the side, almost in a comedic imitation of his beloved Kyssa, watching as Freyja opened the cupboard doors to retrieve a box of her favorite rhubarb cookies to go with her morning snack.

“Kristjan, honey?” Eva’s call to him distracted him from his curious trance and he turned to look at his mother. “Have you heard a word that I just said?” Leave it to this remarkable woman not to be fooled by his distraction. But she was the very one Kristjan inherited much of his own personality from; particularly his stubbornness.

“Mom?” He held up a hand to forestall anything she might say to distract or interrupt him. It worked (for now) as she blinked, but waited. His index finger was outstretched, pointing behind her.

“Why is Freyja behind you? In the house? In Iceland?” His questions were quick and grew more agitated as his adorable Freyja caught notice of who her mother was talking to. She smiled and waved and went about her way, exiting the room while Kristjan’s blue eyes followed her briefly, before returning to those of Eva who seemed almost apologetic.

He reiterated, “You know, the sister I’m supposed to be picking up at the airport in an hour!?”

“Well, honey, we were hoping to surprise you.” Eva started to explain as her son’s critical, narrow-eyed gaze bore down on her. “Freyja got that job she had been wanting; that internship at Grillmarkaðurinn?” Grillmarkaðurinn, a high end and exclusive restaurant in their home city of Reykjavik, and one in which their little one had been attempting to secure an internship at since before the pandemic had first manifested. It was a highly coveted position and to think that HIS Freyja had successfully -- no. As proud as he was of her, he was concerned and feeling justifiably selfish at the moment.

“That’s great Mom, I’m really proud of her.” Kristjan confirmed, giving his mother a reason to beam. He then added, “But WHO is going to watch Kyssa the week I’m on that ship!? I mean, were you going to tell me or wait until I got to the airport and nobody showed up before doing so!?”

“Kristjan…”

“What am I going to do!? I can’t go back and ask Gabriel! He offered but I wanted someone there that she’d be more familiar with and spend the entire week with her, here!”

“Kristjan!” Eva said in a commanding tone that immediately quenched the fire in her boy. One of the very few, if any, who had that unique ability. She held her hands up and in a calm manner, explained, “Don’t worry! Did you really think we would leave you hanging when you were depending on us? We have it all arranged! Someone will be there for Kyssa that she’s familiar with.”

Fenris stared at the screen for a brief moment, bathing in the uncomfortable fit of silence between mother and son. His mother had neglected, or avoided, telling him this bit of news until the very last moment so why…. His eyes narrowed as he asked, “...Who?”


McCarran International Airport

The flight from Icelandic Airlines' imminent arrival had been announced, and Fenris stood by with  tense apprehension near the baggage claim. While many others around him were standing with their backs turned to the luggage carousels to greet the arrivals that would be descending the stairwell and escalators from the second floor, Fenris instead remained seated, facing the gate where international travelers would arrive by, having to go through customs check upon arrival. Despite his apprehension at what his mother had told him, dropping a proverbial bomb on both him as well as Aron, Fenris arrived at the airport early and took a seat at the very forefront so he would be directly in line of sight for any walking through that gateway.

And there she was, walking through the customs gate having her papers checked by the official. His oldest sister, Viktoria.

His antagonistic sister. The one who, alongside his middle sister Elin, he described as being the biggest bitch on the planet. To which she most likely has aptly described him in similar but various glowing terms. For as long as he could remember, ever since he was a small child oh, his oldest sister had made his life a living misery. He could not remember a time where the two were not at each other's throats, fighting like cats and dogs between them with Elin taking her side and Aron and Freyja taking his. It had become such a regular occurrence throughout the years that the fighting had immunized the family to the point they barely paid it any heed. Even if company was present. But in recent years, two to be specific, things had taken on a less hostile quality between them. It took Fenris discovering his sister had fallen victim to domestic violence and Viktoria supporting the tragic way her brother had been forced out of the closet exposed to the public against his will for either to acknowledge that the other cared even remotely. It was unlikely that they would ever grow to be the closest of friends between them like their mother had so hoped, but at least it was a foregone conclusion that they did not hate each other outright. They cared - a little bit. But it still did not do well for Fenris to rely on his materialistic oldest sister to “house sit” while caring for his four-legged baby girl.

“Well, don’t you look pleasant?” Viktoria said with a smirk, one that those closest to him would swear was a mirror image to his own cocky swagger. He stood up the moment she passed the gate and now the two stood with an uncomfortable barrier between them. Viktoria looked him over with an infuriating gaze before she said, “Mom didn’t tell you it was me coming, did she?” Said more as a statement, not a question.

“Of course she did.” Kristjan said as he turned and escorted her toward the luggage carousel to retrieve her luggage, and if he knew his sister, there would be a LOT. Even if it were just for the week. He then added, “An hour ago.”

“Mom probably figured had she given you warning, you and Aron would have moved.”

Kristjan just scoffed and he watched as his sister reached and started grabbing at some luggage as it woke its way around, before he too lent a hand. “Unlikely. With Freyja getting that job, I’m in a bind.”

Finishing with the luggage, Viktoria set a hand on her hip and smiled. “I believe the words you are looking for is ‘thank you.’”

He paused from grabbing at her bags and stood upright, and said, “Don’t push it. You’re getting a week long, all expenses paid vacation to Las Vegas. I think it’s you who should be thanking me.” Yet she only rolled her eyes in response as she took one bag, taking note how Kristjan had already grabbed hold of most of the others. Brotherly duty and all that bother.

…

And as the Porsche wove its way along the Interstate, between the airport and where his sister would call home for the next seven plus days, there was a silence between them. Not a sound, not even the radio until Viktoria took it upon herself to act the cardinal sin of turning it on without Kristjan’s leave. Messing with a man’s radio channels? What WAS the woman thinking??

“So … why you?”

Viktoria heard his question, but wasn’t quite certain the why behind it. She turned her head from the passenger seat to address him with a critical brow. “Excuse me?”

“It could have been Elin.” Fenris shrugged. “Mom might have even made the trip as she only works part-time now. So …” He turned his head briefly to meet her eyes, to which she averted his own hard stare to focus on the view passing them by. “Why was it decided you got to take this trip to America?”

No answer came, which sent alarm bells ringing in Kristjan’s head. He stole a couple glances back and forth between the road ahead and his sister beside him until he prodded her a bit. “Viktoria?”

After what seemed like forever, she finally yielded with an answer, “Einar got out. He tried to contact me.”

Einar Halldórsson - the young man who had taken a hand to his sister. The young man who never knew just how close he had come to finding out just how protective of his family Kristjan could be. Were it not for the timely intervention of Gabriel and Osbourne, Kristjan would have flown to Iceland and done something that would have landed himself in prison. Yet for once, cooler (and wiser) heads prevailed and they allowed the proper authorities to take care of everything. Einar had been arrested and jailed, and a critical part of his release negotiations was that he adhere to a restraining order against Viktoria. A negotiation that he apparently felt was beneath him.

Viktoria watched him for a reaction, and her eyes fell to his hands on the steering wheel, seeing them tighten into no less than a white knuckled grip. He muttered, “Mother fu-”

“Don’t.” Viktoria spoke quickly. “The minute I showed the text to Dad, he called the police and Einar was arrested again for violating the restraining order. He tried to say that his phone was hacked or some bullshit, but they traced it to him.”

But it was of little comfort to an older brother who has an overprotective streak in him, even when it concerned his ‘hated’ older sister. Especially when it concerned his family. “I thought I told you to call me if he ever, EVER, contacted you again?”

She simply shrugged and said, “I decided not to.”

“Why!”

“Because you would have went to prison!” She exclaimed. “And as much as you want to protect me from something you can’t control…” But she did not finish her statement. She did not need to. He would have gone to prison to protect her, so she did what little she could to protect him. The two exchanged a quick look to each others’ eyes before he looked back to the road, and she the passing scenery.

It was enough.

Saturday

It had been decided (by Kristjan) that the brothers would drive them via Aron’s “new” car to Los Angeles rather than fly. It wasn’t as if Kristjan was going to let those added miles be added to his brand new baby. Kristjan was putting the finishing touches on some papers as Aron worked on bringing the remaining luggage to the front door for their week-long working holiday aboard the Sun Princess. Viktoria approached, hands stuffed in her jean short pockets while Kyssa followed, wagging her tail in uncharacteristic behavior toward their sister, someone Kyssa normally acted indifferent toward.

“You two are so lucky!” Viktoria all but pouted, seemingly falling back into her ‘spoiled princess’ role of eldest sister. “I wish I was going on a cruise!”

Kristjan looked up as he slipped something inside of an envelope and walked over, saying, “Oh boo hoo! You get to spend a week in Vegas and not pay for a goddamn thing! How cruelly the world mistreats Viktoria!”

She just sneered at him, a facial expression he was only too glad to reciprocate before...

“Here.” Kristjan turned and extended an envelope to his sister, to which she took it hesitantly in hand and eyed it somewhat suspiciously and asked, “What is it?” She opened it and took out a prepaid Visa card.

“Expenses.” Kristjan said. “Cab rides to the Strip. Any places there you want to go - NO gambling! - Food … whatever! I loaded it up to where you should be set for the next week and beyond.”

She looked from the card to him, almost in wonder that he had made such a generous offer -- for her, of all people. Kristjan then kneeled down and embraced his much loved Kyssa and ruffled her fur, allowing his girl to give him her farewell doggy kisses. He then stood up and said quietly, “When you go on your morning runs, take her for the exercise .Otherwise, the place is yours for the week.”

Before even he realized what he was doing, Kristjan surprised his older sister by stepping in and wrapping his arms around her. He whispered into her ear, “Gabriel said he’d check in in case you needed anything, but if you need me, text.”

He stepped back and found her with an uncharacteristic smile on her face. After a quick hug from Aron, the two brothers took their leave and the door shut behind them. Viktoria looked down at the card in hand, then at Kyssa and she smiled impishly.


Los Angeles, California

Fenris stood on the front deck of the Port of LA, and before him was none other than the Sun Princess; the luxury cruise liner that would soon be bringing the SCW Universe as well as their guests on seven days of fun in the sun, culminating in the Summer XXXTreme IX Supercard event where Fenris himself would be teamed against his will with Brother David Shepherd against the formidable combination of Senor Vinnie and “Bulldog” Bill Barnhart.

“Okay, before we get to the heart of this matter, that being the two men that will be standing on the opposite side of the ring, I want to make something perfectly clear. I want to address my tag team ‘partner’ for this match, David Shepherd, and bring an understanding between him and I. Now a few days back after this match was announced and made official, I told David to just follow my lead, and everything would work out in our favor. And I was not saying this easily because Vinnie and Bulldog?”

He shook his head.

“Not easy opponents, despite what David might boast. And David’s response? He gets all butt hurt and tells me to ‘go suck an egg.’ Bitch, I barely know what the fuck that even means! ‘Go suck an egg?’ What are you, five years old? You're still in grade school!? Why not complete the picture and tell me to go straight to H-E-Double hockey sticks while you’re at it!? David seems to think his rate of success - or lack there of - puts us on equal ground where our opponents are concerned. Well - not quite. While you may have beaten Bulldog, and you went the distance with Vinnie, I beat the both of them on separate occasions - and -- I beat you. I am the only one out of the four of us that can honestly say that I’ve beaten each participant in this match. So David, I think I know what I am talking about when I say shut up, follow my lead and just do what I say if you want to walk away the winners of this match!”

“Vinnie … Bulldog… I make no pretense of my feelings toward tag team matches. I have all the respect in the world for people who have stepped up in that division and made it their own; Gabriel and Despayre and London Underground, just to name a few. But I’ve said time and again that it just is not for me. Unfortunately, as used as I am to getting my own way, in this business, nothing is guaranteed. I’ve found myself in a number of tag team matches over the last three years, Shit! My debut was in the Blast From the Past Mixed Tag TEAM event, and you know what? Courtney Pierce and I won the whole damn thing! I can probably count on one hand the number of times the bosses ignored my wishes and booked me in a tag team match. Couple of times with Ty West as my partner. Going up against teams like Wolfslair and beyond. Teaming with my own brother against (ironically enough) David and Daddy Dearest! And only two of those times did I not lead my team to victory. Every other time? Well…?”

He smiled and held his arms out, eyes hidden behind a pair of shades.

“But here we are, and you know? I don’t really feel like losing the track record that I’ve grown accustomed to, whether I’m in singles or caught in a team situation. You set a goal, you accomplish it. But I have to go and admit that this is one time where I find myself at a disadvantage. The two of you have known one another for years. The two of you are the closest of friends. Whereas I am teamed with a total and complete dickhead! The two of you can put your faith and your trust in the other! Me?”

He poked a finger into his chest and shook his head.

“I don’t have that same luxury! I am with a partner who is just as likely to stab me in the back and leave me hanging alone in that ring with the two of you! The only form of trust I have in David is the fact he has something to prove. Whether it be to himself or his family, he does not want to lose - to either of you! Which puts my side on something of a slippery slope where trust is concerned. So whether my own partner likes it or not, I’m taking charge! And that can only be bad news for the two of you!”

“Vinnie, when you first arrived in SCW, I swear to god I thought you were some sort of cosmic joke! I mean, your best friend and manager was a god damn cactus for fuck’s sake! At the time, I thought your only saving grace was the fact that somehow, some way, Ty’s aunt Lora adored you! But there was something else, something more - primal. You and I have fought more times than I can remember, and you took me to the absolute limit each and every time! When others were bitching about you and disrespecting you, I was asking for another match because the thing I want most in this business is the competition! What the hell is the point of even being here if you’re only in it for the cheap and easy wins!? Whether it was for the World title or not, you gave me what I wanted - what I needed - every damn time we stepped into the ring against one another! You’re a big man, probably the best big man we have going right now. But I’ve been up against you,and men even bigger like Casey Williams. I’ve proven that size is the least thing that matters when inside of that ring. It’s like the old saying goes; ‘Take the bigger man down and his size doesn’t matter.’ Good theory, but unlike the majority out there, I can take a bigger man down. But unlike the rest, I can keep you down. I can make damn sure you don’t get back up again.”

“Bulldog, I have to admit that when you won the mixed tag titles, I was one of the first that wanted to buy you a beer to celebrate. You deserved that win, you deserved that championship, and I’d guess sooner or later, you’ll be wearing gold around that \thick waist of yours again. But for all your bravado and reputation, you have this almost two-faced sense of respect that you pay your opponents. Oftentimes I hear you say on social media or the like how you respect this opponent or that rival, but when it comes time for your promos or interviews, you completely flip the switch. Talk about how you’re going to kick their asses like they’re nothing, or you or Bea will insinuate how your opponents will need some sort of outside interference or cheating in order to overcome you, even if that opponent never had any track record of outright cheating. I should know! You and Beatrice made that very insinuation against me once! It’s almost as if you are looking for some built in excuse for an inevitable loss. Which doesn’t make a goddamn bit of sense because you don’t need excuses! You need results! You are a fucking hardcore bad ass that I respect and acknowledge, and if I can pay you that respect, then why in hell can’t you give it to yourself!? Deep down, you have confidence issues. You need to work on that. But not this time, not for this match. Later, for afterwards.”

“This end result?”

He shrugged.

“It’s inevitable.”

He walked off screen.

[SenorVinnie]

Sailing Home, Across the Ocean….

A classic song from the Dutch band that used to attract a lot of attention in the seventies. Not so much because of their singing ability, but mostly because of their long hair and matching clothing. In 2021 we have another man that is unrivalled in so many ways, but mostloy for being the Mariachi of wrestling. A former World and Internet champion, the last ever King for a Day winner among other accolades, a man that to this very day wishes to call himself KING, even if it was exactly for One Day

King Vinnie: Stop insinuating that I am no longer a king!! Because I am a royalty for the fans!! I am royalty for the people that say that I am a pain to their asses!! Or else they will not use the term a Royal Pain!!!

Vinnie is campaigning because he believes that there is injustice done to him and tries to have the ruling the outcome into his favour. That is why he has gotten in a zoom conference with his lawyer, who also turns out to be his nephew named Hector

King Vinnie: Now Hector, please tell me that I have a shot in issuing a battle in court to have my royal title to be permanent???

Hector: Hola Vinnie, I…

King Vinnie: My name is King Vinnie!!!

Hector: Forgive me King Vinnie, of course that is what I meant. It was just merely a slip of the tongue seeing we are relatives to each other. I….

Vinnie cuts him off by raising his hand and turning his head away from the Zoom conference that he is having. Clearly annoyed over the fact that he was in his mind wrongly entitled.

King Vinnie: Even though we are related by blood lines Hector, I do want to point out that when you become royalty some of your privalges of a on royal member are due meant to no longer exist. One of the burdens of the job at hand is to above every other subject that is in awe of your royal existence. I shall forgive you for this time as you are indeed my bloodline and you are indeed my lawyer I pay for. I…

Hector’s  eyes widen after hearing the clear slip of the tongue by King Vinnie.

Hector:: You say you pay me Vi… err King Vinnie??

Vinnie suddenly notices the slip of the tongue as his face suddenly starts to have sweat pouring from his forehead.

King Vinnie: Err…, well I was trying to say before you oh so rudeloy interrupted me that I…

Hector: No King Vinnie, I did not rudely interrupt you and I did hear exactly what you were saying. You said that I am on your payroll, so I deserve to be paid.

King Vinnie: Yes, but….

Hector interrupts Vinnie once more as he is seeing Dollar signs in his eyes for the very first time.

Hector: And seeing I have been your laywer for 1,5 years now. I am going to be sending you a request to give me my money you owe me in back pay since the day you hired me. And seeing you are a royalty, I am very positive that you swim in the mney!!!

King Vinnie’s eyes widen as he suddenly realizes the error in his ways

King Vinnie: You are very mistaken my nephew Hector, of course you deserve a payment. And I do that every single time that I request of your services my amigo, I pay you with the respectful compliments that I always give you.

Hector: Wha???

King Vinnie: Furthermore, I will only pay you for every time that you have represented me for the judge in a court of law. And so far?? Well if you choose to accept this job to represent me, will be the very first one. So before you start to speak about representing me Hector, I suggest that you have your paper work in order, because if this was a real court room?? I would have already lost this possible trial even before setting foot in the court room!!

Hector mutters underneath his breath as he realizes that his cousin has got a point.

Hector: Excuse me King Vinnie, you have absolutely right and even though I do not see a big chance of us winning this trial. I

King Vinnie: But at least you are telling me that there’s a chance right??

Hector: Well…,

King Vinnie interrupts Hector as now he sees dollar signs in a possible successful trial against his employee.

King Vinnie: Just imagine it Hector, you and I successful in stopping the powers that be. Those who have put an error in the contract that I would agree upon to be their representative and I deserve a full 24 hours in wrestling shows to be that King!! Plus that would also mean that I could get as many title opportunities to become world champion as I can dream off!!!!

His smile is widening as his lawyer is slowly hiding beneath the table,k hoping that Vinnie is so engulfed in his dream that he will not notice the attempt of his nephew to escape from his insanity slowly brewing in his mind.

King Vinnie: I may just end up being entitled to demand changes upon my behalf Hector, to be not only the leader of the royal hierarchy, but also the man that can claim to have a day in my honour. I want it to be a big celebration, just like the 4th of July, but bigger. I will come up with a name and all and just….. Hector?? Where are you???

We see Hector crawling on his hands and knees towards the door until Vinnie notices him.

King Vinnie: What are you doing down there on your hands and knees Hector?? Don’t be such a spoil sport by searching for your contact lenses while your royal nephew is going to recite demands upon Sin City Wrestling as soon as I have won my session in court. Because not only am I interested in money to give me an emotional support for the mental state that I am in right now… as well as making some demands that is only an improvement…. Not just for me, but for every other superstar and fan out there!! Those who believe in opposing the powers that be!!! And I am your emotional and royal leader!!!

With that Vinnie rambles on as Hector places his hands upon his head and wondering what the hell he has gotten himself into.

Tag team excitement.

Vinnie is seen in his royal throne built from toilet paper as he is clearly annoyed for the fact that he has to sit in something so disgraceful like that. But he has decided to do his job, showing that he is a royalty that will go on against adversity.

King Vinnie: My fellow royal subjects, me and my personal jester Bill Barnhart have been placed in a situation that we have to not only face the powers that be. The same powers that granted me the chance to become YOUR king, but also the same powers that be that put me in a tag team match against two men that I had no idea until the card was posted that were a tag team. Two men that have a strange sense of admiring each other in a lack of a better terminology that I could use for it right now. Two men that shared a kiss and now? I don’t know!!!

But it is quite obvious that these two men have been put together as they both have a history against me in combat. One of them even came close to become a family member of yours truly as he was seeing someone that was the nephew of my now ex-wife!! See the emotional disorder that I am right now?? All because THEY!! And with They I mean the powers that be that would not stoop as low to oppose me and my jester in our quest of justice.

But just as my loyal subjects that you all are, you know that me and my jester Bill shall not give in to their tyranny!!! No me and my amigo Bill will take this challenge head on and will defend MY…. Err Our honour with class and dignity that only a King and his jester could do in a situation of being upheld.

He grabs his crown, places it on a table next to him that wobbles when it comes in contact with him and his crown as one of the legs of the table is shorter than the others.

King Vinnie: See?? I have to endure the fact that I apparrenlty am not entitled to have normal and classy royal furniture!! No instead I have to sit in a chair that is made out of toilet paper, smelly I may add. So apparently these are the recyclable types. They are much cheaper and I am very positive that it will give my royal behind a rash. But still, against all odds I am here because I do not wish one tiny detail derail my royal determination to undo that what has been done wrong to yours truly and my jester. Because let’s face it my royal subjects, when I suffer… we all suffer. And that’s how it should be isn’t it?? We should endure the same thing that your royal King endures in real life…. Except of course the burden to wear a royal crown that is rather heavy and a royal robe that has been passed on from generation to generation…. And as we all know that there can be only one King… and that King is Vinnie.

So as I am a humble king, I will be humble right now. humble towards the two men that oppose me and Bill. And you may ask yourself why King Vinnie?? Why??? And my answer is simple yet truthful. These two only are doing what they have been told to do, they are being paid to fight those who THEY as in the powers that be dare to put in front of me. But seeing how I have a history of opposing obstacles that are seemingly impossible to overtake and I have over taken some of them…. I feel confident that me and Bill can somehow find a resolution to this matter that will benefit not only me and Bill, but also them as well as the fans. Because let’s be honest folks, if I lose?? We all lose!!! And that is a situation that I decide to withstand and be a proud ruler of my kingdom to withstand before it is too late…. And trust me my royal subjects, it’s never too late!! Or unless of course the powers that be bribe the judge and jury to benefit their own needs. Then I will gladly blame the loss to the justice department as I will be wrongly treated and then?? Then I will sue everyone that dares to stand between me and my dream!!!

So I will give my opponents for the Summer XXXTreme extravaganza an opportunity to tell me that they feel that they should not withstand me and my jester Bill in our destiny to find justice. To find payback for my emotional anguish and find some financial support for me to overcome the emotional scars that have occurred since I have become your royalty… I thank you for the understanding and to Fenris and Brother David…. Please let us all sit down and be friends, amigo’s and find a solution to the problem and that solution is rather simple… become proud members of my royal subjects and serve a bigger cause than what you already have been doing. The cause of YOUR King….. King Vinnie and his struggle to find acceptance to be who I am destined to be…. YOUR KING!!!

Gracias to you all….

With that Vinnie starts to do his royal wave as the shot fades

[Andrew]

WE ARE THE TEAM TO BEAT

Narrator:  I spoke with Bill Barnhart before coming on camera to present my narrator comments to lead into Bill’s comments on his upcoming match and I know you will enjoy his presentation.

The scene changes and we get a shot of Bill Barnhart somewhere on the Sun Princess cruise ship. We are not sure his exact location but we can tell he is walking along the decks on the outside area of the ship. Bill looks over at the camera and comments while he is walking.

LIKE ONE AND HATE THE OTHER

Bill:  Thanks for joining me for my presentation of comments leading up to my Tag Team match with my friend and tag team partner Senor Vinnie. We’re facing off against Fenris and Brother David and I have to tell you that even though I have the utmost respect for Fenris I want to go off on Brother David and destroy him. To give you a comparison of how I feel about Brother David and my desire to kick his ass when I see him let me tell you how my English Bulldog Iris is. We have numerous dogs in our neighborhood. The dogs I enjoy interacting with are the Pit Bulls named Jelly and Sapphire, and the Husky dogs named Aries and Nairobi. Then we have a Chihuahua named Lucky and a Boxer-Pit Bull mix named Milo. Although all the dogs are nice Iris is only calm and nice to Lucky the Chihuahua and Milo the Boxer-Pit Bull mix. When she meets the other dogs she goes off on them and acts like she wants to rip their fur off even though they are nice dogs. So that’s how I feel about Brother David and Fenris. Whereas I want to go off on David and rip his skin off  every time I see him I calmly walk up to Fenris and greet him. This aggression toward Brother David will be a key factor in our win over their tag team.

Bill continues to walk the decks while discussing his upcoming match.

YOU CANNOT BE GIVEN A TALENT YOU DON’T ALREADY POSSESS

Bill:  For your viewing enjoyment, and for the purpose of presenting information and concepts to you, I have two videos I’ll have the Network show you. The first video is a parody video I had created to show how pathetic the team of Brother David and Fenris is and the second video is an interaction I had with Iris recently. I ask the Network to run the parody video at this time.

The parody video runs and we see two familiar figures standing at the landing dock on an island. One of the figures is Mister Roarke, who is the owner of Fantasy Island, and the other figure is his personal assistant Tattoo. We hear a sea plane approaching and we hear a familiar cry from Tattoo.

Tattoo:  Boss! Boss! Da plane! Da plane!

Mister Roarke and Tattoo watch the plane land on the water then it maneuvers to the dock where several passengers debark onto the pier. The last two out of the plane are actors who were hired to portray themselves as Fenris and Brother David. Mister Roarke approaches them and they get into a conversation.

Mister Roarke:  Ah you two must be the. . .persons. . .who are involved in the wrestling match against Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie at Summer XXXTreme IX. I can’t mention their names due to issues of using someone’s name without their permission but with the description I gave the viewers they know who you are supposed to be portraying. You are aware that here on Fantasy Island myself and Tattoo and our staff try to help people understand what they are capable of, and what they are unable to accomplish, but we work hard to help them out and make their fantasy become a reality but we are unable to give them something they don’t already possess. Please tell us what you think we at Fantasy Island can do for you on this trip.

Person Portraying Brother David:  We want you to grant our fantasy that me and my tag team partner will work well together and easily defeat Senor Vinnie and Bill Barnhart.

Person Portraying Fenris:  Yes what he just said except the part about you granting me the abilities to defeat Vinnie and Bill as I already possess those abilities. I just want to get along with this tag team partner I was assigned to.

Tattoo gives a shocked look at Mister Roarke and Mister Roarke knows what Tattoo is thinking.

Mister Roarke:  What? Here at Fantasy Island we cannot grant wishes or a fantasy by giving you something you don’t already possess. As for you (looking at the person made up to look like Fenris) you already have the abilities to defeat anyone in Sin City Wrestling but I’m unable to grant you the ability to work nicely with Brother David as that is not something you already possess. As for you (looking at the person made up to look like Brother David) you come here with no abilities, no knowledge how to work with others including your family members, and straight up you suck. Therefore I demand you two get off Fantasy Island and return the mainland as there’s no way I can help you obtain the impossible. Leave my island now!

As the actors made up to portray these two characters launch into a loud and threatening complaint Security personnel arrive on the dock and drag them into the plane to take them back to the mainland. Once the plane takes off Tattoo and Mister Roark look at each other and sigh.

Tattoo:  Hey, Boss, everyone who wants to come to Fantasy Island is handed a legal form that sets forth what we can, and cannot, do here at Fantasy Island. Why do guests continue to come here demanding we violate the legal agreement and demand we give them talents and abilities they don’t already possess?

Mister Roarke  Because humans are stupid. Let’s go the house and have a few drinks. We both need some stiff drinks after dealing with those two losers.

As Mister Roarke and Tattoo walk toward the house the scene ends and we are returned to Bill Barnhart on the Sun Princess cruise ship.

Bill:  Har har har!!! That was hilarious! Nothing like having tag team opponents where one member is an outstanding wrestler and the other is a bumbling worthless drag chute on the talented member of their team. You know what they say that oil and water don’t mix and that’s exactly how you need to look at the team of Brother David and Fenris. Now I’ll have the Network show a video of an interaction between myself and Iris recently while at our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. This will show you how talented and intelligent Iris is. Please run the Iris video at this time.

IRIS IS SMARTER THAN SHE LOOKS

The video of the interaction of Bill with Iris plays.

Bill:  Okay, Iris, now is the time for you to show the world how smart you are. Iris please tell the viewers what the outside of a tree is called.

Iris:  Bark!

Bill:  Correct! If Fenris and Brother David think they can defeat me and Senor Vinnie they’re barking up the wrong tree. Now, Iris, could you please tell the viewers what the top of a house is called?

Iris:  Roof!

Bill:  You’re correct again Iris! I’m here to let the viewers know that the outstanding performance myself and Senor Vinnie will present will be so amazing we’ll blow the roof off the venue. Iris are you ready for your last question? What’s the consistency of sandpaper?

Iris:  Ruff!

Bill:  Great job Iris! You got all three questions correct! Yes the consistency of sandpaper is rough and me and Vinnie will be so rough on David and Fenris the two of them are likely to retire from wrestling because they will be so humiliated by their loss to us.

The video of the interaction between Bill and Iris is done and we return to Bill who is walking around on the cruise ship.

Bill:  Here’s what I see going on with you two. Fenris I see you hoping that I have such a hatred for David that my focus on beating the crap out of him will take my attention off you. Yeah wouldn’t you love that to be the case eh? Hate to burst your bubble Fenris but I’m not one to distract myself away from one opponent by being overly focused on my other opponent. And what are you thinking David? Are you thinking that my respect and admiration for Fenris will cause me to back off on your and not go hard on you? Think again as I’m not backing off you no matter how much you wish for it. Come to think of it I don’t have to do much in this match to overcome you two. With Fenris being a highly competitive, talented, and accomplished wrestler, and you being a piece of shit dirt bag of a wrestler, all me and Vinnie need to do is stand back and watch you two attack each other and self-destruct. See you two shortly in the ring. Damn sure hope you two have your medical insurance paid and up-to-date as you are going to need it when me and Vinnie get done with  you.

Bill gives the CUT sign to the camera person who then calls into the Network to inform them that they are cutting their camera feed. A few seconds later the feed is cut and the screen goes black.

[The Good Shepherds]

Determination
Sun Princess Cruiseliner on the open seas; 7/16/2021

I had made it in one piece.  I survived the dreaded encounter with Caleb Storms.  Wait, let me rephrase that.  I had survived facing him with Fenris as the referee.  At any moment, I was about to defeat Caleb, and everyone knew it.  They knew that the second they saw the booking for the Supernova 4 pre show card.  It was as obvious as the sky appears blue above this ship as we speak.  I admit, several days on the ship, my third time on the ship, and I’m still mesmerized watching the waves, hearing them as they are lapping against the side of the ship, all from my cabin window.  I could spend hours with a cup of coffee, experiencing this.  As a matter of fact, I had, pondering the upcoming match where I’m forced to team with Fenris to take on Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie.  But, it is time for me to exit my cabin and experience all the depravity this ship offers.  Adult swim, comedy club, movie theater, dance club… Heck, maybe I’d do all of it.

I set my cup of coffee down on the end table as I pick up my swim bag.  I look around, making sure I have my room key, wallet, phone.  Check, check, and check.  I slide them into the side pocket of the bag and put it over my shoulder.  I feel the light jab of the tanning oil into my back before the suit and towel smooth it out.  I flip off the lights and I exit the cabin.  I turn around to make sure the cabin is locked, because I know how dishonest people are.  I’m one of them.  I chuckle to myself as I think that one over.  I’m ready to enjoy the many activities of the ship when I turn slightly and find… him… Fenris.

Me:  What are you doing here?

My eyes drink in the tanned skin, the long, golden hair, the abs, the pecs, the biceps, the bulge of the white speedo he’s wearing… No!  I look back to his face.  His cocky smirk lets me know he saw me checking him out.

Fenris:  This is my room.

His Icelandic accent tickles at my ears, trying to force a smile to my face.  But I won’t let him hold that power over me.  I nod my head at the statement as if to say “Yeah right.”  But the open door being closed behind him lets me know he’s being honest.  How have we not run into one another yet?  How did I get so lucky as to avoid this for five whole days?

Me:  I see…

And with that, I refuse to entertain the idea of… well, entertaining him any further.  However, I know there is a trip that I must make before I start enjoying my morning and afternoon.  I walk briskly down the deck of the ship.  I pass several doors at such a speed that I can’t even make out the numbers on them.  That is, until I get to the one wreaking of that skunky smoke, and laughter coming from within.  I pound on the door, not once, not twice, but three times before Andrey answers the door.  He holds his arms out, giving me a brotherly hug and an awkward, rough kiss on the cheek.

Andrey:  Welcome to the celebration party…!

I see the SCU Combat Championship prominently displayed upon the coffee table.  He rushes me inside and closes the door.  Inside, I see Rory Rockefeller rolling one up as my sister drinks from a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Me:  Are you guys getting drunk and high this early?

Esther:  You’re fucking up my crossfade, bro!  And for your information, no.  We’re not getting fucked up this early.  We’re getting fucked up this late.

I swipe the bottle from her hand and glare at her.  She is about to protest when I put the bottle to my lips and take a swig.  She hands me a bottle of coke as a chaser, a smile on her face.  I shake my head and take another swig, feeling that burning in my throat as it warms all the way down to my stomach.

Esther:  Now the party is really starting!

I glare over at Rory, who lifts his head up with a “Sup” kind of motion.  He hands me the devil’s lettuce, but I pass it off to Andrey.  I smirk politely, and then I grab Esther’s arm and drag her to the bathroom.  I close the door and she stumbles to the toilet.

Esther:  I had to piss anyway, you asshole.

Me:  Gross.  Now let me just ask you this.  What in the actual fuck is that big limp dick doing in what is supposed to be MY cabin?

Esther rolls her eyes and then bounces up and down, doing the “pee pee dance”.  I turn around and tap my foot impatiently as she gets settled.

Esther:  Since GRIME won that stupid Mayhem Survival, we need to make some old friends.  Ones who weren’t so far up Filth’s or Omasa’s asses that we might stand a chance of still having a job.  Well, me anyway.

A few more moments of “privacy” are required, but since we’re doing this right here, right now, I begin speaking again.

Me:  Stinking up my cabin with that shit… You’re paying the fee for that, I hope you know.  Hell, you owe me a lot more than that. You owe me an explana….

Esther flushes the toilet and gets herself adjusted as she walks over to the sink to wash her hands.  I figure I’m safe to turn around again when she cuts me off.

Esther:  I thought this was going to come to me sooner.  I actually thought I got away with it, or that it worked and you two are having hot, sweaty, monkey sex through the entire cruise.  See, originally, me and Aron were booked next to each other.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that we needed to get you two roomed next to each o…

My turn.  I slam my hands on the sink vanity and glare right into her eyes.  Just like the bitch that she is, she sneers back at me.

Me:  I can’t stop Aron from doing anything, but you need to butt out of my business!  Me and Fenris are not getting together.  No matter how much fun it is to meddle in my lovelife, and no matter how good you think your intentions are, they’re not.  They are screwing me up.  They are making this whole “coming to terms with myself” thing like, impossible!  I desperately need you to back off.

She snorts and then looks to me, her eyes a bit glazed over at this point.  She dries her hands off and then crosses her arms over her chest.

Esther:  Right.  Because catfishing your ex worked out so well for you.  If you had opened up to me about that, I could have told you that was a terrible idea.

Me:  But it was my mistake to make!  So was screwing the waiter in the bathroom stall.  So was signing up for a dating app.  Everything has come together as it’s supposed to.

Esther brushes a loose strand of hair out of her face and then looks up a little at me.

Esther:  Let’s see.  You met a date at the Saxon Hotel bar, and your beard showed up and ruined that.  So you went and burned down a church.  You fooled Dax into meeting you, and then you collected a bunch of idiots who like being told what to do with their money, just like dad, but in the opposite direction.  Yeah, it’s working out great for your mental health.  Did you ever contact that therapist?

I’m not going to answer that.  I chuckle and shake my head, with a very breathy sigh.  I look back at her, and she’s still waiting for an answer.

Me:  They’re my mistakes to make.  Quit getting yourself involved, because me and Fenris are never going to be a thing.

Esther:  Fine.  I’ll accept that, and once we leave this ship, I won’t push that anymore.  But… you’ve got to let me help you in some way.  People are social creatures, and you’re not supposed to be alone when you’re going through things.  I know we had a fucked up childhood that taught us to do all the wrong things, but that’s not an excuse to keep living your life in ignorance and self-destructive behavior.  Just because we don’t work for the same company doesn’t mean that we can’t still be there for each other.

Me:  Do you really think that I want to burden you with my shit?  Is that what you believe?  I’m so messed up, as you gladly pointed out.  I’m supposed to be your support.  As your brother.

Esther looks into my eyes and she sees something there.  She studies them for what seems like a really long time, but is likely only a few seconds.  I can see a tear coming from her eye.

Esther:  Screw that archaic bullshit.  Men can have feelings too.  Just as much as you were there for me, I can, and will, be there for you.  And I’m so sorry that you believe that I can’t be, or that I’m not able to handle what you’re going through.  We went through very similar struggles.  And I was with you through all of the canings, all of the beatings, all of the prothletising, all of the self degradation, along with all of the absentee parents before The Church.  What I didn’t go through personally, I saw it being done.  I even received beatings for trying to defend you and Dax.  And guess what?  I’m still here.  And so are you.

The old familiar sting from behind my eyes makes me purse my lips together.  I fight back the blurry mess that’s trying to leak out from behind my eyes.  I even try to turn away from Esther, but she grabs onto my head, not letting me.  She puts her forehead against mine, and she stares right into my eyes.

Esther:  I see you.  And I still love you, brother.

If I open my mouth right now, I’ll lose control, so I don’t even bother trying to respond.  I close my eyes, because I can’t let her see me this way.  It hurts so bad, but I’m stronger than this.  I can hear her sniffling, and I feel her shaking as the tears come out.  Her pain is added onto mine, and I can’t help but blubber a bit.  I open my eyes, and the tears start streaming down my face.  I can’t speak, but I try.  It only comes out as more blubbering.  Leaning against the wall, I slowly sink down to a seated position.  She doesn’t let go.  She lowers herself with me, making me look at her.  I slowly shake my head, but she moves with me before making me nod my head along with her.

Esther:  Let it out.  Feel the pain.  Don’t deny it anymore.  Let dad’s words exit your mind through your tears.  Just a little bit at a time, okay?

The nodding of our heads now comes from me.  I do everything I can to not look into her eyes, looking around without moving my head.  But, I always find myself refocused on her hazel eyes.  She kneels over me, making me stay in the moment, living and feeling that pain.  She then hugs onto me once I’ve gotten a grip over myself.  I hug onto her as well.  I feel something wash over me.  I don’t know exactly what it might be, but it’s something like relief.  I feel… healed in some way.

*Knock knock knock*

Us:  WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!

Rory:  Um, I just need to take a leak…

The timing could have been worse, so we aren’t too mad.  We both laugh it off as we get up to our feet.  We walk out of the bathroom as Rory enters and quickly shuts the door.  I swear, it was a solid five minutes of stream that I could hear as I did small talk with my brother-in-law.  I took off before the next round of space cigarette was sparked up.

I spent my day going around the ship, getting acquainted with it again.  I found myself at the pool for a good portion of the day, working on cardio and tanning up a bit.  I even took some time to get a haircut.  Then, I changed into a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a fitted tank top and Adidas slides.  I had a casual meal at the sports bar, where I saw many SCU and GRIME folks congregating amongst themselves.  I caught sight of a few fellow SCW stars, and even a few special appearance legends, whom I’ve been sworn to secrecy about.

There’s something about chicken strips and waffle fries that just hits different with a few bottles of Busch, on a cruise ship.  Especially while watching the Red Sox spank the Yanks.  But, eventually, it’s time for me to go.  I had set up a very, very important date tonight, and I’m a bit nervous about it.  I have to go get ready.

Revelations (Part 8: Relief)
Sun Princess Cruiseliner on the open seas; 7/16/2021


It’s dark as the patrons begin collecting their drinks from their waitresses.  The clanking echoes throughout the bar.  We only really see the neon Budweiser, Pabst Blue Ribbon, American Honey, and Jose Cuervo signs lit up at the bar.  Somehow, the lights become even more dim as a spotlight shines on the stage.  It’s so bright that it’s almost like entering the stage of an old SCU show for me.

Oh, that’s right.  I forgot to mention that I’m the attraction tonight.  My date isn’t a person.  It’s a crowd, who has gathered to hear me take a stab at stand up comedy.  And, what better way to really test my chops than when I’m facing off with two branded jokes like Bill and Vinnie?

As I walk out onto the stage with a bottle of water in my hand, and a dazed look in my eyes, I get a mixed reaction from the audience.  Some raise their glasses to me, while others boo me.  After all, we are on an SCW hosted cruise, so I’m sure people don’t care for me given my father and all of his “mighty works”.  Or, the fact that I’m an asshole probably has something to do with it too.  Either way, I jog a few steps and wave to my left.  Then to my right.  I step up to the microphone and look around at the audience, but don’t see much due to the darkness.  I still make an effort though.

As I pretend to catch my breath, and force a smile onto my face, I ponder what I’m actually going to say.  I pull out a piece of paper and speak with all the energy of a stoned sloth.

Me:  Hello.  Welcome to the show.  It’s great to be here tonight, looking at all of your beautifully absent faces…

Crowd:  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I tuck my notes back into my pocket and chortle.

Me:  Wow, tough crowd.  I’ve had better reception from a crowd in the Church of the Good Shepherds when I ripped ass into the microphone.  Or, maybe the ripped ass came from getting it pounded so hard by my daddy…

There’s not even a single boo from the audience.  Only an uncomfortable silence.  Then, I realize how that sounded, and I get why.

Me:  No, I didn’t mean like that.  I meant that he tenderized my ass like a tough piece of raw, bloody meat.  Like how I felt when he was done with me.

Heckler 1:  WHAT IN THE YEE HAW ALABAMA BULLSHIT IS THIS?! GET OFF THE STAGE!

Me:  Jokes on you!  I’m from Oklahoma, jackass!  Sit down and stop embarrassing yourself in front of your poor wife.  She sees enough of that when you pull down your pants to make unsatisfying sex with her.

There’s a few laughs.  I’m getting there.  Note, I repeated myself from last week when I told Bill how I felt bad for his wife.  But, these guys don’t watch my promos, so I’m safe.  Nailed it.

Me:  Anyway, I could take turns going off on each and every one of you, but we don’t have all night.  What I really wanted to talk about was…

Heckler 2:  YOU SUCK!

My eyes widen and I look out in the direction the voice came from.  I narrow it down to a bald man in glasses, sitting at a table with what appear to be his elderly parents.  Low hanging fruit.  I’m better than that.

Me:  Not lately!  Nor as much as I want to.  But, if you’re offering, I think I’ll pass. It’s awkward for parents to have to hear the squeaking springs of the lower deck cabins.  Those walls are literally made of paper.  I mean, unless your dad is into that kinda thing.  Call me.

A bit more of a chuckle rings throughout the crowd.  I wait for an answer from “grandpa” but he doesn’t give one, despite eye fucking me all the way down.

Me:  Goddamn, I think I might need a pregnancy test after that one, pops.  Why don’t we just skip the son, and I screw the father to assert dominance over him?  Sounds like… a pathetically boring time.  Anyway, as some of you might have realized, looking past the *air quotes* “big draw matches” like Jessie Salco versus Christina Rose, Mac Bane versus Mark Cross, Myra Rivers versus Amber Ryan, the Ultimate X matches for the Roulette titles… that I actually have a match here in just a few short days.

Heckler 3:  HE’S LYING!  NO ONE WOULD PAY TO SEE HIM IN A MATCH!

Me:  IT’S CALLED A PISS BREAK MATCH, JOSH!  Get over it.  So, anyway, I have a match, where I’m teaming up with possibly the biggest prick on this boat, and I hear Kristopher Ryans is on the boat. Hey-o!

Silence.  But as I trot a couple paces along the stage, using my arm to depict a huge, erm, male genitalia, I get a few bits of laughter.  I shake my head.

Me:  So, anyway.  I was told that I’m too hyper focused on that fact.  And I’m talking about my tag partner, and not his penis.  God, get your heads out of the gutters you lowlife pieces of shit… I mean, c’mon.  You came to see me do stand up comedy.  You’ve clearly got nothing better to do, and you know what you signed up for.

Heckler 4:  DON’T QUIT YA DAY JOB!!!

Me:  So what is it, then?  Do you want to see me wrestle, or not?  I’m confused.  And not because you’re a lousy piece of shit, but because you don’t realize that I wrestle once a week, at night.  And I’m good enough to do it and still get paid.  You’re as dense as Bill Barnhart!  Speaking of Bill, what’s the difference between Bill and an apple? Anybody?  Anybody?

I wait a minute as people chuckle and mutter indistinctly.  I encourage them, but I’m not hearing the answer I’m looking for.

Me:  There’s many answers here.  Like, for instance, an apple doesn’t make me fall asleep just by watching a ten minute video clip of it talking.  And, an apple doesn’t make you want to jump over the side of this boat, right into a propeller like Bill does, the second he opens his mouth.  Or, an apple keeps the doctor away, while Bill makes me wish I didn’t have ears, so I am tempted to cut them off Van Gogh style so that I don’t have to hear that gravelly Bruce Willis style voice saying such insignificant, neverending, mind dulling, trivial bullshit.  I… I could keep going, but it all ends with the fact that an apple doesn’t make me wish I was never born, in all the wrong ways.  Apples aren’t a great example of why people across the world really should buy more into “pro choice” legislations.  Bill Barnhart is.

This gets a bit more from the crowd than I expected.  I hold up a hand to get the attention back to me.

Me:  Who tells jokes like “What do you call a fly that can no longer fly”?  Oh, right.  Bill Barnhart.  Someone who wishes to educate us on why he’s going to win, and we’re not.  But, I hate to break it to him, so I’ll only leave this here for you guys… In order to “educate” someone on something, doesn’t it actually have to be true?  I mean, I could tie my hands behind my back, bind my legs, blindfold myself, and still find a way to fall on top of that man for a three count.  And, spoiler alert, the most interesting part of his last promotional video against me was the flies he kept comparing me to.  Brother, I don’t walk on shit.  I pin it to the mat every time I’m forced to go against it.  Say, how many times have I beat you?  In one way or another?  How many dreams of being a singles champion did I squash in front of you, your dreams were the fly, and I was you…

And with that, I can’t help but vomit all over the stage.  The crowd lets out a horrified and disgusted shriek.  The hecklers are all going at once, and I can’t keep it all straight.  I hold my finger up as I try to get my stomach under control, but nope… there goes the chicken strips, waffle fries, and Busch.  Done-zo. Gone.  I wipe at it softly with my left hand, and then take a sip from the water bottle to clean my mouth out, spitting it to the floor.

Me:  I’m sorry.  Remind me to never compare myself to Bill Bbbb…

There was almost a third explosive, projectile vomit, but I am able to squelch that back, puffing my cheeks out as I dry heave a little.

Me:  Sorry.  I… Bo Burnham, but I try.  Kind of like Senor… I mean… KING VINNIE.  Your royal, delusional highn-ass.  Hey, I’d still fuck him though.  Just saying.  Anyway, King Vinnie tries so hard.  He tries to work against his multiple personalities to succeed.  He did become King for a Day, and he booked a card that attempted to dethrone Mark Cross.  He tried to entertain the fans, but he just made them uncomfortable and sad.  And clearly he didn’t dethrone Cross.  He’s here, booked in this piss break of a match instead of headlining against Mac Bane, a man I also defeated.  I mean, he could’ve been in that match.  He could’ve stood a chance of getting a win.  He could have tried to recapture that glory, but Mark Cross was just too much.

Heckler 5:  BOOOOO! BE FUNNY!!!

I glare off in that direction and pull the microphone from the stand and walk over to the edge of the stage.

Me:  Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize I was here for your entertainment.  Just kidding.  But, you’re a piece of shit, and I hope your cabin catches on fire, and that your wife and kids burn alive inside as you’re forced to watch from outside of it.  Now shut the fuck up and let me get there.  See, King Vinnie just isn’t funny.  I mean, he’s a nut job.  He’s a living abortion.  He’s forced to fight in the most meaningless match of his career on the same ship that his wife married him on before disappearing shortly after.  He’s a former champion, trying to relive his glory days when he never truly had any glory days.  None of that is funny.  It’s tragic… and that’s kinda funny…

I can’t help but chuckle at the thought.  The crowd gives off that same mixed reaction as when I first entered the stage.  Some of these sick bastards find it funny, while others find it offensive.

Me:  Vinnie is somehow the least of my worries in this match.  I need to watch out for a fallen piece of blue ice landing on my head than I do for Vinnie to beat me.  I need to worry about a plane crashing down on the ship more than I need to worry about Vinnie beating me.  I need to worry about failing another Katta Pult Suplex Challenge than I need to worry about Vinnie beating me.  I need to worry about making this match last longer so that we stand a chance of people actually getting back to their seats to watch it after their piss break than I need to worry about Vinnie beating me.  And, I’m sorry, but I can’t make this funny.  It’s impossible.  The only funny thing will be the way I beat his ass and make him eat his words, reminding me that I never officially beat him.  Let me rectify that right now.

I’ve lost the crowd.  Some of them have gotten up and left the club.  Others are gathering their things.  The lights come back up part way as I’m being forced off the stage.  I can take a hint.  Or, can I?

Me:  With all of the problems Fenris and I have, it’s like we’re already dating.  We fight.  We avoid each other when we’re mad.  We’re always mad.  He fawns over me publicly while I flirt with other guys.  If things continue this way, it will definitely seem that I’m the bitch in the relationship.

A few chuckles redeem me.  The lights don’t go back down, but people’s asses do.  The chuckles slowly build up.

Me:  Putting us together in this match must be the universes way of telling us to fuck or kill each other.  Judging by the elevator video footage, it could very well be both.  Thankfully I take yoga classes and keep hydrated, am I right?

Crowd:  Hahahaha!

Me:  But seriously, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d have dinner with my parents.  Get it?  Because Fenris is one person, and his penis is big enough for it’s own social security card? Got it.

Even more laughs.  I can’t help but smirk as well.  This is the kind of stuff people came to see.  Not talk about a boring log of shit that this fly walks on.  Not the most unfunny joke to ever be told in Sin CIty.  Penis humor.

Me:  No, really. Fenris and I could never work out.  I don’t want to live in Depends in my mid twenties.  I don’t need to be split in half like I’m a scene from Resident Evil.  I can’t wrestle with a prolapsed anus.  Not until I at least ask for advice on that matter from Helluva Bottom Carter, right?

I look over to my side to see the producer telling me that the clock is running out for my allotted time.  I sigh and nod my head at him as I walk to the front center stage and look out to those still watching, laughing, and enjoying themselves.

Me:  Hey, apparently my time is up, so I just want to remind those not on the ship, watching this promotional video, to tune in live on July 18th, 2021 from the Princess Cruise Ship to watch this match, and all of the better ones lined up.  Thank you!  Thank you all!

I wave to the cheering crowd as I leave the stage. After the show closes out, and I grab another drink from the bar, it’s time to return to my cabin.  I deposit my bottle in the recycling, and then I walk out of the door.  There’s something almost romantic about the moon in a waxing crescent, smiling down on me.  Something peaceful about the night.  I am walking down the deck, on my way to the cabin when I look across the sea.  It’s like a dream, but I’m not asleep.  I sit there and watch the waves, just as I had earlier in the day.  But the mystical deep of the sea at night is much more calming.  It feels like almost hours of this before I decide to go into the halls to my cabin.

As I’m walking, I can feel the gentle swaying of the boat.  I’m set at ease, completely.  I walk up to my door and open my bag to pull out the keys.  I stick the key into the lock and start to turn, when I can’t help but look over at my neighboring door.  I stare at it for a moment before shaking my head.  I open my door and see the light shining in on my cold cup of coffee.  I look around, feeling the still of the silence.  The loneliness is almost paralyzing.  I slowly step back and close the door, locking it.  I put the keys in my cargo pocket as I stand in front of Fenris’ door.  I raise my hand to knock, but I stop myself.

I feel the pull of the moon to knock, but I resist it.  It’s not right. It won’t be right.  It can never be right.  I start to turn back toward my door, but I feel like there’s a wall that won’t let me through.  As much as I try, I can’t go back.  I can never turn back from this.  I raise my hand, my breath shallow and harsh as I try to stop it.  But I can’t.  Welp, here we go… (((TBC)))

[Fenris]

Day One

“Did you get the same style room?”

“Yes, K.”

“Ocean view?”

“Yes, K.”

“Patio?”

“Yes, K.”

“Minibar?”

“Yes, K.”

“Well what about…?”

Fenris was about to ask as he walked alongside his brother, having just boarded the ship. They were making their way down the corridor with Fenris grilling his brother about their accommodations, when finally Aron stopped at the assigned cabin door, only one floor below the top, and whirled about, exclaiming, “For God’s sake, K! It’s the exact same style room you’ve had every year on this ship! Same amenities! Same perks! Same - everything! I’m not just your manager you know, I’m your brother! I know what you like so just settle down and stop the third degree, okay?”

“Okay!” Fenris retorted, making a put off expression. “Third degree stopped!” He made a face, and then swiped the key card from Aron’s hand and proceeded the unlock the room himself. Pushing the door open, he stepped inside first as was the norm. His luggage had already been brought aboard and delivered to the room by the ship’s many porters. Someone even unpacked his luggage for an added perk, hung it up, even ironed it before depositing it in the drawers. One of the many bonus perks of being on this cruise and this event. No expense had been spared, and the employees aboard took extra steps to ensure the comfort and enjoyment of those aboard.

The room indeed was the same as those times before; the sitting area was separate from the bedroom. The view that looked perfectly down at the ocean waters below from the balcony. He knew the perks that came with this stateroom, such as an exclusive dining area with an extended menu, a mini bar that staff had set up with a multitude of wines, which would soon be changed over to beers and hard liquor (Wine was Aron’s bag, not his brother’s). This was all just one of the many ways Aron took care of his older sibling in his own way. That being said, Fenris turned around to look at his ‘little brother’ and shook his head.

“This is wrong.” Fenris stated simply.

“Wrong?” Aron frowned and looked around, standing still in that one spot just inside of the door. Everything looked just right. Nothing out of the norm from previous experiences on this cruise. “What’s … wrong?”

“That’s a queen.” Fenris pointed into the bedroom. “Not a double. Where the hell are you going to sleep? You are NOT sleeping on that sofa…”

“K,” Aron smiled, almost finding his brother’s indignant thought of him being reduced to such accommodations somehow… endearing. But he held up a hand to calm him down and let him get a word in edgewise, saying, “This is your room. I got my own this year.”

Fenris stared at Aron as if he were attempting to process what his brother had just tried to explain. Since they first arrived in 2018, the two were a package deal in every way imaginable; right up to where they stayed when traveling. Sharing the same hotel rooms, and in this case, the same staterooms on the cruise. Fenris arched his brows and asked, “Why? We’ve always shared so … what’s changed?”

“Nothing.” Aron shrugged his slim shoulders, explaining. “I… just thought you might like the change.”

“You’ve known me your entire life. When have I ever liked change?” Then Fenris narrowed his eyes with stark suspicion. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing!”

“A…” Fenris took a step back and rested his backside on the armoire inside of his suite and crossed his arms. He took on that cocky, big brother stance that made even his closest of friends want to slap him upside the head - hard. Fenris said, “You’ve never been a good liar so stop trying, hm? Wait…” He slipped off of the seat and took a step forward, directing a finger right at Aron’s nose. “Did O’Malley’s brother put you up to this!?”

“No!” Aron exclaimed. “For God’s sake, K! I just thought for once you might appreciate the privacy! Who knows? You might meet someone and not want your brother hanging around?” Fenris raised a single brow and tilted his head to the side, as Aron continued., “Or I might meet someone and…”

Fenris scoffed, stopping Aron’s explanation as he stared at his brother who at that moment, realized some of his attitude must have rubbed off on Aron because he felt the desire to avoid eye contact and kick at an imaginary pebble.

“Newsflash, K.” Aron said in a calm, quiet tone. “You’re not the only one of us that gets attention. You’re just the one that goes out looking for it.”

Aron reached over and opened the cabin door and looked back to find his brother frowning at the accusation of him being an “attention whore,” true as the words might have been. Aron couldn’t help but smile. He said, “It’s not like we won’t be hanging out this entire trip. Let’s just say that I was trying to do you a favor. And me - this way I won’t have to listen to you snore through the night.”

The last thing he said in rapid succession as he slipped out into the hall, quickly shutting the door behind him. Fenris stared at the closed door a moment too long before he hurriedly opened it and stepped out into the hall, shouting at Aron’s back, “I. Do. Not. Snore!” And then realized all activity came to a halt; cruise employees and guests. All eyes staring straight at him.

“Fuck!” he growled and turned back into his room and slammed the door behind him.


Day Five

It's the Sun Princess Bikini Contest!

“Seriously! First Grandma Self Defense and now this!?” Fenris barked as he stood at poolside, drawing a number of appreciative glances due in part to that “barely there” speedo swimsuit that could best be described as barely legal. A casual glance would reveal that the Ultimate X setup had been erected across the 20x40 foot pool. But that was of little consequence for the “White Wolf.” He knew he could be booked for any random task that would draw interest for the fans. His first year being a participant in a Mr. Tight Buns competition (which he won, for the record), and he was forced to teach a self defense course to a roomful of elderly women, some of which could not or would not, keep their hands off of him. But judging a bikini contest…!?

Standing before him along the side of the pool was a bevy of beauties of different ages and all shapes and sizes; each and every one wearing a colorful bikini. Some casual style, others about as daring as his own choice of swim attire. And many of them were eager to use this opportunity to openly flirt with the Icelandic Superstar, either in hope of better securing the win for herself or in a misguided attempt at an invitation to his stateroom; ignoring the obvious fact he preferred the company of men.

“Who’s fucking bright idea was this, anyway!?” Fenris barked at Aron who stood nearby, appreciating the predicament his normally confident brother had been coerced into. Fenris then turned to Aron who shook his head, holding up both hands, “I swear it wasn’t me!”

Roxette’s “The Look” is blaring across the sound system of the pool deck, and there are whistles and catcalls aplenty as one by one, each bikini-clad passenger sashayed her way up to the judge and posed, giving Fenris a wink or a pouty look, before returning to her spot in the lineup. One young woman even turned her back to him to give him a little jiggle of her backside, prompting him to roll his eyes and turn to Aron to say, “Amazing. They go through all this trouble and yet it does nothing for me.”

“Hey I’m enjoying it.” Aron smiled, causing his brother to do a double-take in his regard. He was about to return his attention to his duties when someone else approached him from the side.

“Wow! Silicon valley!” Bobbie Dahl stated, drawing a few gasps and another double take from Fenris; she was wearing that hot pink, blinking bookies bikini seen on social media. And Artie? Poor guy was bashful in his own Spongebob yellow and blue design trunks. Bobbie turned to Aron who gave her a coy and friendly wink before they returned their attention to the contestants as the final lady returned to her spot by the pool.

Fenris turned and picked up the “Bikini Champion” trophy and turned -- and handed it to Bobbie!

“You win.” He said nonchalantly, sparking some cries and moans of disappointment. Some ladies stormed off while others ran into the arms of their disgruntled boyfriends, husbands and family members for consoling. Bobbie looked at the trophy before passing it to Artie, then pulled her phone from (you don’t want to now where) and started to discreetly turn it on.

Fenris himself  turned away from poolside to make his way to the bar for a nice, relaxing drink; the first of many, when he openly groaned at the sight of O’Malley’s brother Alastair approaching where he was standing. Alastair was clad in what had to be an Armani suit worth at least a couple grand. An Armani suit … on a cruise ship!? Oh, and he had that perpetual swarthy smile on his face as his eyes practically drank in the sight standing before him.

“Well, well!” “If you aren't a sight for sore thighs.” Alastair said as he took his spot beside Fenris, barely leaving any room between Alastair himself and Fenris’s exposed flesh.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Fenris asked, taking in his attire through the shades that covered his eyes.

“I beg your pardon?”

“A suit? On a cruise?”

“It’s called style.” Alastair stated simply, adjusting his tie while taking it all in, and by it all, I mean everything Fenris wasn’t wearing at the time. Alastair draped an arm encouragingly around the shoulder of Fenris, only to have the Icelandic star shrug it off, adding a verbal warning, “I do not care if you are O’Malley’s brother. Any part of you that touches me again, you won’t be getting back!”

“Now, don’t be like that.” Alastair continued trying to impress. “I thought you and I could go and have a drink. Get to know each other a little better. Maybe tell me your real name.” He leaned in a little closer to whisper coyly, “I would be embarrassed to scream the wrong name tonight.”

His hand slid down Fenris’s band and found itself resting comfortably on his barely covered backside. Fenris s-l-o-w-l-y turned to stare into his eyes and then he smiled….

“Artie! Watch out!” Bobbie shrieked! Artie turned and gasped, ducking quickly just in time as Alastair went SAILING over his head and landed in the pool with a big, wet splash! People laughed. Cameras flashed. Fenris shook his head and turned to leave when something else caught his attention…

Across the poolside area, Bobbie had her camera out - aimed at him and pointed … down? Artie noticed Fenris noticing and he blanched, growing even paler as Fenris approached.

“Er, Bobbie?”

“Just a sec, Artie! I just found out how to use the zoom lens feature!”

“Bobbie!”

“What!?” Bobbie shrieked right back, before returning her eye into the camera and found not that nefarious bulge she had been recording just a moment ago, but a close up shot of an angry Icelandic man staring right into the lens! Bobbie ever so slowly lowered her camera and found herself looking directly at Fenris who stared her down. Bobbie then cackled and shoved the camera into Artie’s hands. She pointed an accusing finger at him and turned and got the hell out of dodge. Fenris looked at Artie who rapidly shook his head in denial before Fenris took off after Bobbie...

***

And he would have caught her too had a certain host wearing a similar swimsuit not been out and about and distracted him just enough for Bobbie to make her getaway. Rather than head for the bar as he had first intended, Fenris made a slight detour to his stateroom in order for a change of clothes. Ordinarily he had little to zero shame and would have walked right into the bar wearing just this, but after what just happened with Alastair and not wanting a repeat performance and risk throwing the man overboard…?

He was just about to slip out of the speedo and jump into the shower, when there was a hesitant knock at his door. At first he wondered if O’Malley’s brother had tracked him down, but shook that notion off. It was probably Aron, so he grabbed a button up shirt with an exotic, white and blue print, and slipped it on before opening the door…

And finding himself face-to-face with David Shepherd!

David seemed almost to shrink back, as if second guessing whatever reasons had brought him to the door, but Fenris just shook his head. “I don’t have time for this shit!” And he made to shut the door but David quickly put a hand against it, propping it open. Fenris stared at his hand and turned to face the audacious rival, but there was something in the man’s face and eyes that gave Fenris pause.

David swallowed hard, then asked, “Can we talk?”

“Talk?” Fenris’s eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. He looked into the hall, left and right, before scoffing with a laugh. “What exactly do you and I have to talk about-?” But before he could further question David’s reason or motives, David walked right up to him and grabbed him by the face, pressing his lips to Fenris’s own! Fenris was so caught off guard that he staggered back, and David took that edge and moved forward into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. But before David could go any further, Fenris pushed him away and stared at him, one part anger, two parts surprise.

David, breathless, said, “That - actually.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Fenris demanded. “Do you always just go into someone’s room and kiss them!?”

David took a step back, rubbing a hand down his face. He closed his eyes and shook his head, muttering, “Not the reaction I was hoping for.” He turned to leave, but before he could take a step, Fenris spoke which was enough to keep him from leaving.

“And what reaction were you expecting - exactly?” Fenris had turned away from him and walked over to the small liquor cabinet which, true to form, had been converted from wines to a more hard variety of liquors. David watched as Fenris took a glass and poured a generous amount of a bottle’s contents into it, but his eyes strayed as before, taking in the sight before him. How the shirt Fenris had thrown on at the last moment was hanging off of one shoulder. The swimsuit, how his hair hung straight past his broad, tanned shoulders… David quickly averted his lingering gaze as Fenris turned around with the glass in hand.

Fenris continued, “The last time this happened was -- six weeks ago? And right after, you acted as if it had been the most vile, disgusting sin! An exchange or two on Twitter and you acted as if I ghosted you, and then all hell breaks loose! So say whatever it is that you came to say…” But before he could finish his bold statement, David swiped the drink from his hand and downed it in a single gulp, impressing even Fenris who was a known, hardcore drinker.

David paused in wait, eyes closed as he felt the warmth of the liquid courage burn down the back of his throat. He then extended the glass to Fenris, who took the hint and reached for the bottle and gave him a refill. Fenris then set the bottle back and sat on the edge of the room’s table, allowing David to pace back and forth in front of him.

“I-I don't know what I want to say, that’s just the problem!” David said. “I mean, I know what I want to say, but not how. Or… damn it! I… can’t get you out of my head and it’s driving me crazy! Even before what happened after our match … until just … now. I keep trying to get my mind off of you… to distract myself! But every time I think I do, I just get drawn right back in … especially when you’re wearing that!” he pointed with the glass in hand, obviously at the swimsuit that left little to the imagination. Fenris glanced down to where he was pointing, then back up to David’s eyes and admittedly, he smiled.

He said, “Yes, I saw you stealing a look earlier.”

“Well, it's kind of hard not to notice.” David shrugged, trying to play it cool and act nonchalant.

Febris looked down, nodding. He admitted, “I suppose it’s only fair, considering how many times you caught me watching you work out at the Saxon gym.” He then looked up and his face seemed almost cold. He added, “I made my interests known then, not that it got me anywhere.”

David took a drink, saying, “I wasn’t exactly in a good place. Still under my father’s thumb.”

“And now?”

“I only talk to my sister. My pain in the ass, interfering but with good intentions, sister.” David couldn’t help but smile at how Esther had went to such lengths, albeit with a little help from Fenris’s own brother. He then said, “I haven’t spoken much to my parents since…” He shared a look with Fenris, and it was obvious what he was referring to. “They … how did your family react? When you came out?”

“You mean when I was outed? Against my will?” Fenris countered. David nodded, and Fenris found himself saying, “They didn’t care. They were more concerned about the circumstances surrounding my outing, not that I prefer men. When I was with Ty, they treated him like family.”

David nodded, muttering as he finished the contents of his glass, “You’re lucky.” To which Fenris could only acknowledge as fact with a silent nod. Fenris watched as David set the glass carefully on the table, taking a stumbling step. He probably should have warned him that this was Icelandic brandy and stronger than the American brands.

Probably should have.

David returned his attention to him and Fenris shook his head. “You don’t want to get involved with me, David.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I’m toxic as fuck!” Fenris declared. “I’ve only allowed myself to get close to three men in my life. Three. And each time, something about me, something I did caused me to lose them. I let one walk away. I drove another one away, which is probably for the best. And…” he paused, not willing, not ready, to tell him about Jokull. Not yet. He continued, “Face facts; I may be an insanely incredible fuck, but I am a lousy boyfriend.”

David glanced down and huffed a suppressed laugh. He looked up again and said, “I come from a toxic family whose father abused me physically and manipulated me mentally. We all have our crosses to bear.”

“Pun intended?” Fenris smirked at his own wit, causing David to forget himself for a moment and laugh. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “No. Happy coincidence. But… as for the rest of what you just said?”

Deciding - fuck it! Throwing caution to the wind, and with that liquid courage burning bright in his system, he marched right up to Fenris and backed him up hard against the wall. David pulled the button up down over his arms and whispered hoarsely into his ear, “Let me be the judge of that…”

Later…

Out in the hall, Alastair strutted up to the door of Fenris’s stateroom, a bottle of champagne in his hand. That smile fixed on his face, he rapped lightly on the door, then leaned in to speak…

“I understand we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, you and I. I thought maybe I could come in and bring you a peace offering. Perhaps we could talk, just the two of us, and if there should happen to be room for one more in that bed of yours --”

Suddenly the door swung open and a sweaty, breathless David Shepherd stood there, glaring at Alastair. His hair was sweat spanked and a complete mess, and he was clad in just a towel draped around his waist.

“There’s. Not!” David declared hotly and slammed the door!


Night had fallen. The door slid open and Fenris slipped outside and onto his private patio, wearing only his robe that reached mid-thigh. He took a moment to catch his breath, before stealing a glance back over his shoulder and into his room where David was passed out on the surface of his bed without a stitch of clothing on.  Fenris turned back to look out into the night sky, smiling.

“You know, somehow I don’t think working together will be a problem any longer for David and myself. Good news for us, bad news for Vinnie and Barnhart. There’s a saying in America about putting all your eggs in one basket (never fully understood that logic), but that does seem to be the corner that our opponents have backed themselves into in regards to their strategy for facing us. If -- you can call it a strategy. The moment this match was first announced, Bulldog and Vinnie thought they were practically guaranteed for the winners pool, if for no other reason than because they have experience as a team and are close friends, whereas David and I were - not. And really, that’s it. That is all the two of you had going for you and if the last few hours are any indication -- you don’t even have that. Not any more.”

“Now Bill… ‘Bulldog,’ can I call you Bulldog? What with us being such close pals and all? While I can't speak for my partner David, I don't want you worrying about me. Yes, I watched your promo from last week, and no I did not throw anything at the screen in a fit of anger. No, I did not yell and call you a jerk or say or do anything even close to what you imagined. No, actually my feelings toward everything you said last time around was something more like…”

Fenris appeared uncharacteristically wistful, glancing up in a thoughtful contemplation while nodding in the affirmative.

“Yes, that pretty much summed up about how I felt about, well, everything that you came up with in that head of yours last week! I mean, fuck’s sake Bill -- Bulldog! Sorry! Did you run out of wacky weed so you rolled up one of Iris’s turds and smoked that shit instead!? Because I can’t understand how in hell a grown ass adult, especially one your age with a sound mind, could come up with any of that with a straight face, and expect people to understand it or be entertained! Talking about the heat and weather is the epitome of boring conversation between two parties, and here you’re doing it with thousands of people watching you! Well…”

He casually looks up and shrugs.

“Probably just a few hundred by now. The rest either turned off their computers or fell asleep. I swear, if they could market your insanity as a means to cure insomnia, you’d be set for life! Talking about shit and flies, and showing clips of Iris and you pulling the wings off of a fly - well you just keep up those demonstrations, Bill. Because that fly is the last thing you’ll be inflicting any kind of damage on! Maybe next time you decide to talk shit, pun intended, you should first earn the right by, oh I don’t know, getting a win against me first!?”

“Seriously! Do you have Promo Tourrettes or some equally stupid shit (pun intended)!? I mean, you sit there on your ass, one minute talking almost respectfully about the wins David and I've had against you, then you slip right into the talking shit (pun intended) about us and our chances against Vinnie and yourself, implying that we are about to be humiliated in the ring against you!

“Ever since you started running off at the mouth Bill, you’ve been going on about how my team doesn’t stand a chance against you and Vinnie because the two of you are established and friends, whereas David and I have no shot at being a cohesive unit or managing any semblance of teamwork. The funny thing about that is, even if we don’t have a shot at being the genuine thing, it still gives us a better chance at walking away the winners than you have.”

“Did it ever occur to you that what you see as my team's biggest weakness could, in fact, be our greatest strength? That David and I are both raging egotists who will both want to do everything in our power to one up the other, and the harder we fight to upstage each other, that just means the harder we’ll be bringing the fight to you!?”

Fenris then shook his head and exhaled, leaning against the railing.

“To think, all this time I thought it was Vinnie that I had the issues with. Don’t get me wrong Bill, I respect you, but all those years I spent thinking Vinnie was batshit crazy when really it was you all along! Now Vinnie… you and I?”

He waved his hand between the camera and himself, back and forth.

“We’ve had our shared past, inside of the ring and out. I’m not saying everything was perfect. I remember thinking Lora was too good for you and she deserved better. I don’t know why things didn’t last between you and quite frankly, I don’t give a shit. That’s your life. You live it, and I’ll live my own. No questions asked. It’s what happens inside of the ring that matters to me, and you and I? We’ve always managed to steal the show, haven’t we? I said it before and I will say it again; our match for the championship at High Stakes VIII was fucking awesome! And that was just the first time you and I have stepped inside of the ring against each other!”

“There was also the time I teamed with Ty against you and Jake Raab. That just proves; singles matches. Tag Team matches. Triple threats. Fatal Fourways. It doesn’t matter what type of match they put us in! You and I, we always find a way to work magic. But out of all of those times we’ve stepped into the ring with each other, all of those matches have had one thing in common;”

He tapped a forefinger to his chest.

“I won. I know this means that you’ll be out gunning for your first win against me, but this isn’t your time Vinnie. Not now. Not yet.”

Suddenly the patio door slid open and an arm reached out and grabbed the back of Fenris’s robe and pulled him back into the stateroom, where the lights quickly winked off.

End scene.