Almost a year later, it still sickens me to watch it. I still get that angry, bitter feeling every time my eyes look at it. This sickening, angering feeling is even more intense considering that the event is coming near again. But still, I can’t help that empty, bitter feeling in my heart every time I look at the replay from last year’s Into the Void event. June 7th, 2020 is definitely a night that I want to forget. Watching Evie Jordan beat me for the world championship for what seems like the hundredth time has me clawing at my lap as I am doing everything that I can to keep my composure.
“Are you over it?” I could hear the voice of Angelica Romero, my media correspondent, from behind. She sits next to me on the couch, tape recorder and all. I didn’t mind her presence because I figured it was nice to at least let out some harbored feelings. I didn’t answer her right away. At least, I didn’t answer her until the final pinfall was made and I had to endure the disgusting, embarrassing feeling of watching Evie Jordan celebrate.
“Are you over it?” she asked me again.
“No…” I said without hesitation as the broadcast faded. “...and to be honest with you, I strongly doubt that I ever will.”
“It certainly didn’t help that going into that match, Evie was cruel, mean and pathetic toward you, expressing her insecurities toward you every step of the way and spending so much time slandering you with nonsense that was so outrageous you had a legitimate reason to take her to court for all of it. Losing the title to someone like that must’ve hurt worst of all.”
I merely chuckled at the notion.
“Angelica, that’s not true. I mean it hurt to lose the title to her, but it wasn’t the most painful thing. Like I’m going to give someone that is completely irrelevant that kind of power over me. I’m not bitter because of HEr because SHE is NOT worth being bitter over. She always was, and always will be, a vacuous, irrelevant, shell of a human being. But you know what I am more bitter about? The fact that I lost the title too damn soon. The fact that it was over too fast. The fact that afterward, I went on a Sam Marlowe-level slump that whole summer. The fact that no matter how much I win and how much I DOMINATE, I STILL don’t get the opportunities that SAM MARLOWE gets handed every single month. That’s what I’m bitter about…”
“What do you think went wrong last year at Into the Void?”
“I was too damn nice…” I admitted without hesitation. “I was too much of a sweetheart basking in the glory of my family legacy. Instead of dominating the division like I should have and putting my stamp on it, I was just ‘happy to be a world champion’. Any Bombshell with enough talent, even someone like Bella Madison for god’s sake, would’ve taken advantage of that. I tried to focus too hard on being respectful to a division that didn’t appreciate me and tried too hard to do what is right by a family legacy that is too hypocritical. I was too focused on wanting to add to the prestigious legacy of the Bombshell division and making it all about that when it should’ve been all about ME! That’s what went wrong. I’ve been chomping at the bit to show how much I’ve learned from my mistakes, but SCW continues to keep me in the dark!”
“How do you plan on doing things differently?” she asked me.
“Simple. NOT be a Sam Marlowe.” I said with a scoff. “Screw this division. Screw the history and the prestige of it. I don’t give a damn about that anymore. I could give two fucks about this division or anyone in the past that has paved the way. I don’t need someone like Amy, Vixen, Odette, or insert-over-the-hill-bombshell-that-is-no-longer here to pave the way for me. I pave MY OWN way! I SPIT on the legacies of the Roxis and the Marlowes of the world. It’s about MY legacy… it’s about making MY history…”
“And do you think beating Sam is going to be…”
I cleared my throat, cutting Angelica off.
“I want to take a break from answering questions for a moment…”
“Alright…” she said with confidence, not bothered by what I just said. She respectfully gets up and walks away from me for a moment, leaving me to my own thoughts.
“I still feel that void within me…” I admitted with anger. “...and I don’t know when that feeling will stop…”
April 20, 2021
A couple of days after my victory over Ruby Steele, I was sitting on a bench in my backyard thinking about that victory. Beating the Blast from the Past winner on the women’s side was no small feat, but for whatever reason, when I thought about that victory, I wasn’t feeling any joy from it in my heart whatsoever. I couldn’t put together in my head why I wasn’t totally satisfied with that victory. Whether it was because of my feelings toward Ruby regarding how I felt she was a one off fluke or whether it was because of other things going around me, it wasn’t clear. Still, even with that victory, it just didn’t feel like it meant anything to me. I heard the sliding door open and I looked to see Clarissa Vega walking out of my house.
“Andrea! I got the drinks ready!”
I kept looking at her, but I didn’t respond to her whatsoever.
“Andrea?”
Again, I didn’t say a word.
“I thought you wanted to celebrate that win over Ruby.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes and it was at that moment when she realized that something was wrong. She signed and closed the sliding door behind her before coming in my direction. Of course, since it was Clarissa, I didn’t mind this whatsoever. She wasted no time coming my way and sitting down next to me. I looked her way and she had that familiar look of concern in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” she asked me.
“I’ve been thinking about things, really.”
“Whatever has you down, you know you’re going to pull through it. Besides, you just beat Ruby and that’s something worth celebrating.”
“No, it’s not. Honestly.” Clarissa’s eyes widened with surprise when I said that. “Beating Ruby means nothing for me. Yeah, so I beat the reigning Blast from the Past winner. Big WHOOP! Nobody’s going to remember that when that Cinderella bitch fades from the limelight following the ass kicking Amber Ryan’s going to give her.”
“It’s going to put you front and center of the world title scene again…” Clarissa reminded me.
“Is it? Because I don’t see any indicators of that happening. It seems like they’re very adamant on handing Courtney Pierce the next title shot.”
“You’re better than her, Andrea.”
“Clearly! Yeah, I beat Ruby. But you know what would’ve meant a hell of a lot more to me? Being in that gauntlet, WINNING that gauntlet and then beating Myra for the Internet title! I hate to admit this about Myra, but beating her will mean a hell of a lot more in the long run. That would’ve given me so much joy!”
Clarissa bit her lower lip then looked away from me, indicating that there was some discomfort with what I just said.
“Would it?”
“Of course! It’s fucking MYRA, the same bitch that tortured and abused me in GCW. Why wouldn’t that make me happy?”
“Did beating Roxi make you happy?”
“Of course!”
“So why were you complaining about Blast from the Past after that? If anything, beating Roxi just brought you fleeting happiness. The next day, you were back to being miserable and bitching up a storm. I think you need to face up to the truth that these days, you can’t seem to find happiness in wrestling. That’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now but I never could find the right time to say it.”
I folded my arms and scoffed, instantly dismissing the notion that Clarissa just put in front of me.
“Why would you think that?”
“You seem to be so hellbent on having a reality show and making yourself a mainstream media star than you are a wrestling star these days. Besides, beating Roxi didn’t make you happy for too long. You could’ve never been happy beating Seleana because you had the ‘let’s get this over with’ attitude. You beat Ruby and now you’re over that too. Trust me, beating Myra wouldn’t make you happy in the long term. You’d just find something else to be miserable about.”
I took a deep breath knowing that Clarissa was the last person that I wanted to be mad at.
“Happiness in this business has eluded me since I lost the world title…” I admitted with a reluctant sigh. I’ve grown to hate being vulnerable in front of anyone, but Clarissa was the only person I was even willing to admit this to. “...everything about my perspective for this business has changed for the worse. When I lost that title, I began to question everything. I questioned whether I even deserved it at all. I questioned if I even belonged in the division… hell the company itself. I racked my brain for hours upon hours, days upon days, weeks upon weeks, trying to figure out where I went wrong and I figured out that I was just too much of a sweetheart. I regret being the way I was last year. I’ve lost SO much in this business because I was STUPID, I was NAIVE and I was TOO DAMN NICE!”
“Why do you have to say that?” Clarissa said with a concerned tone in her voice. “That Andrea that you’re talking about was winning singles championships and taking out big names left and right. Sure, you’ve gotten some big wins lately over the likes of Roxi and Ruby but how many championships has the ‘new Andrea’ won?”
This time, I was the one biting my lower lip.
“I’m not trying to be critical or trying to get on your case, but you’re acting like things would’ve been totally different if ‘sweetheart Andrea’ never existed.”
“Of course they would’ve been different! They would’ve been better!”
“How do you know that?”
“I was in a slump last summer, remember? Since I snapped out of that, I’ve only lost once. It would’ve translated into SOME form of title by now if it wasn’t for Blast from the Past and the powers that be constantly giving title shots to people like Sam Marlowe. If I wasn’t so damn nice, I would’ve hit the mainstream sooner and I would’ve never had to meet Myra at all…”
“You don’t know that.”
“So why were all these mainstream companies that shut me down saying the same thing? Did you know that the most common reason why they wouldn’t sign me is because I wasn’t ‘aggressive enough’? The Andrea that I am today would’ve ended Myra’s career in GCW as revenge for all the shit she’s put me through. If I wasn’t such a pushover, I would’ve won my first singles title sooner. I would’ve been UWA Cruiserweight Champion. I would’ve squashed that old piece of shit Mack O’Conner in OCW. I would’ve been OCW World Champion. Alicia Lukas would be my bitch. I would’ve won the title in the chamber. Christina Rose’s career would be over because of me long before High Stakes. Suffice to say, I’d STILL be world champion from that chamber match in December and have the longest title reign of any kind in SCW history…”
My boldness and arrogance was making Clarissa very uncomfortable. I could see it in her face. She was torn and conflicted. I could tell that she wanted to have my back, but I could also tell that she was definitely not wanting to agree with everything that I just said.
“I think back to everything being that stupid sweetheart that I used to be cost me and I feel like… I don’t know… I feel like I threw away so much and missed out on my true potential sometimes. That potential of what I could’ve had… it haunts me. If I wasn’t so damn nice, I would’ve ended Evie’s career at Into the Void last year. I’d already be a near-legend in this business at this point in my career, but nooo, I’m just ‘former world champion Andrea Hernandez’. I feel like I should’ve accomplished so much more in my career than I actually have.”
“Life isn’t a game of ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’ Andrea…” Clarissa reminded me. “Do you think I live my life saying that if such and such didn’t happen, then this would’ve been the result? I have so many regrets in my life. I don’t sit here saying that I would’ve been a big star in wrestling in my own right if your dad didn’t sabotage me and assault me. I don’t go to bed at night thinking that life would be better for me if my ex-fiance didn’t cheat on me 10 years ago. Maybe all of those things that you mentioned that may have happened if you weren’t a certain way… maybe they could’ve happened. But what you have to remember is that none of that was ever guaranteed.”
“Even YOU have to admit that being a naive, stupid sweetheart cost me many opportunities.”
“There have been times where being what you were held you back, yes. But that doesn’t mean it held you back to THAT extent.”
“The fact that I can’t buy an opportunity worth a crap in SCW these days and I continue to be left out in the cold doesn’t make any of this any better. I’m still paying for being so naive, so nice and so weak…”
“Quit saying that! You never were weak. What happened last year was a learning experience for you. You’ve grown so much out of that. You’ve been on a tear. You haven’t lost in months. You’re on the right track. You can’t continue to do what you’ve been doing lately and not get your rewards in the end. I know the wait is ANNOYING but… you did wait a long time to even hit the mainstream scene, and you did. You waited a lot longer than you wanted to, to win your first singles title, but you did. You waited a long time to be a world champion, but you did.It’s not about the wait, it’s about the moment. You, more than anyone, should know that.”
“Do you really think beating Ruby is going to help me that damn much?”
“I don’t think that at all. I PROMISE that it does! That was a statement victory for you Andrea! I wouldn’t be so quick to downplay it like it’s not a big deal just because she might end up being a flame out in the end…”
“She WILL be a flame out in the end!”
“Still, beating her coming off that tournament will carry so much weight once this crap with her, Courtney and Amber all gets resolved.”
“We’ll see…” I said with skepticism in my voice.
“Come on!” Clarissa said as she stood up. “Let’s celebrate that win.”
With a reluctant sigh, I stood up with her.
“I suppose I should. Maybe then, I’ll feel something for a change. I just hope you’re right about what you just said.”
Clarissa and I walked back into the house and celebrated that win over Ruby. This did improve my mood, but it was only a temporary effect. Even through all of that, I was still feeling that void. Mentally, it’s been incredibly tough to get over that experience that I had last year at Into the Void. In the weeks that would follow, I would continue to have that dark cloud from last year’s event hanging over my head and it certainly added a new layer of things as my match with Sam Marlowe began to grow closer.
Meanwhile…
“Has this always been a hatred…” Angelica asked me as we resumed our question and answer session. “...have you always had such a dislike for Samantha Marlowe?”
“No…” I admitted. “I hate to admit this, but when I first got here, I really liked Sam. I thought she and I had so much in common, especially with our attitudes. I saw the sweetheart I was at the time, and the sweetheart I will never be again, in her. We could’ve been best of friends upon my initial arrival to Sin City Wrestling. I admired her and I once thought she was a role model for what the division should be all about.”
“I’m surprised to hear that.” Angelica rebuffed. “When did this all start to change? Was it because of all the title opportunities she was getting?”
“No. Before that…” I admitted with bitterness. “It’s easy to pinpoint Into the Void and the slump that I had after that being ‘shades of Sam Marlowe’ in the worst way, but it’s not even that! I’ve honestly had no respect for Samantha ever since she lost the Roulette Championship to Candy.”
“That far back? You were still a sweetheart yourself at that time.”
“Between you and I, Angelica, I have never, ever respected Candy and I never will. The girl is an awful joke, one of the biggest one hit wonder jokes in the history of the Bombshells division and Samantha lost the Roulette Championship to THAT? Samantha got pinned by her in a tag match after that? Samantha became Candy’s bitch! How could I ever respect someone like that? While I was doing my big thing with the world title and all of that, I remember being so ashamed of Sam for allowing herself to get on a losing streak and allowing someone like Candy to own her the way she was owning her at that time. I told myself, before I defeated Christina Rose at My Bloody Valentine that night, that I would never, EVER be like Sam Marlowe.”
“Did you feel like you were when you went through your summer slump last year?”
I sighed and narrowed my eyes for a bit. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow, but Angelica had just asked the question that needed to be asked at this point.
“Without question! I made that vow, and after Into the Void, she was exactly who I was becoming and it made me sick. After the embarrassing battle royal that I went through, I realized that I was at a crossroads. I knew that I was becoming like her: weak, taken advantage of, having lost my relevance, and so on and so forth. I had to decide to myself whether I wanted to stay on the path that I was on and continue down Sam Marlowe Boulevard or if I wanted to show these fuckers who I really am and what I am really all about and take a completely different path that was unlike any path that I ever took before. I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my career being a sweetheart and a loser like that. So… I did what I had to do and blasted Christina’s face in at Violent Conduct. I still don’t regret that.”
“You really wanted to NOT be her…” she remarked.
“Exactly. Those matches with Roxi, Seleana and Ruby that I’ve recently won? She would’ve lost every damn one of them. If I didn’t change my ways and become even better than I’ve ever been, I would’ve lost them too. The Sam Marlowe way doesn’t work in Sin City Wrestling anymore… and I know for a fact that I’m not the only one that feels that.”
“Do you foresee a situation where the ‘old’ Andrea ever comes back?”
I shook my head and laughed this off immediately.
“Hell no! It’s funny… because beating Sam is like beating my weaker half… and that’s what I’m going to do.”
I gave the ‘cut’ signal and Angelica stopped the tape recording at this time. Deep down, I wasn’t feeling any regret or remorse for the fact that I was constantly dismissing the OLD Andrea that I NEVER wanted to be again!
Mother’s Day…
“Now THIS is something that is worth celebrating…” I said to Lorenzo as I looked over a contract I was about to sign. We were both sitting at my couch and we had some glasses of non-alcoholic apple cider sitting at a nearby coffee table. There was a large “All Things Andrea” banner hanging from the ceilings over our heads.
“Didn’t I tell you that this was going to happen?” Lorenzo said with a smirk. “Only the biggest star in Sin City Wrestling deserves to have their own reality show. I told you that I was going to get the network to pick it up.”
“You’ve done well for yourself moving up the chain in the reality television industry!” I took a pause, reflecting on what I was about to get myself into. “I sign this contract and I am officially a star that is crossing over beyond wrestling. Wrestling is my first love, don’t get me wrong. But, the whole world should revolve around ME! I’ve got EVERYTHING it takes to be a megastar: the ability, the looks, the desire, the take no prisoners attitude and the attitude of taking a backseat to nobody! It’s a damn shame that my wrestling company can’t see that but I definitely appreciate the fact that the network that you work for can!”
“With this, there’s no way you’re going to take a back seat to anyone again!” Lorenzo further assured me. “All of the other ladies in your wrestling company are going to be looking up at you while you leave them in the dust and become the star that you are destined and entitled to become.”
“Network folks would’ve never looked at the OLD Andrea…” I said with a laugh. “What a damn loser she was. Isn’t it funny how I'm the shiest, sweetest girl in the block and I accomplish nothing but once I get out of that shell, suddenly, I'm everything? It’s not a coincidence. I think it’s clearly obvious that the OLD Andrea was ALWAYS the problem. But, that’s enough chit chat about this. I’m going to make this official!”
I scoffed again as I wasted no time whatsoever signing the contract.
“There it is! I’ve officially got my own reality show! I know people are going to be like ‘YOU’RE COPYING CRYSTAL’. Pffft! I’m not copying her. I’m just doing something she dreamed of doing WAY better than she ever could.”
“Forget about that person, Andrea…”
“Right, right We’re not talking about her. I should be the most famous Bombshell on the roster with all the resources and attention devoted to her and this reality show is going to go a long way toward that.”
“Shall we celebrate?” he asked me as he picked up his glass!
“We shall!” I said with a wink as I picked up mine. We each took a sip from our glasses and had a bit of a laugh with each other before we started to lean our faces toward each other. I felt like I was a second away from experiencing something special when suddenly, my doorbell rang, much to my annoyance.
“REALLY?” I said with anger as the doorbell rang again. I let out an angry sigh as I put down my glass back on the coffee table and reluctantly walked over to the front door. Opening it, the last person that I expected, or wanted, to see was my mother.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her.
“You said I could come by, remember?”
I did, much to my own annoyance.
“Right. I’m sorry. I forgot. Come in!”
I rolled my eyes again as I stepped aside for her. She was taken aback by the house I was able to acquire for my own, but she was mainly floored by the decorations that I had that was celebrating my new reality show. When she turned toward the couch, she had another surprise.
“Lorenzo? Is that you?”
“Hi, Mrs. Hernandez. Nice seeing you again!”
“What’s he doing here?”
“He just helped get me a reality show!”
“A reality show, Andrea? Really?”
“What’s the problem?”
“The daughter that I raised would’ve never…”
“I think I’m going to step outside for a moment.” Lorenzo said, as he got up and awkwardly left the living room and headed to my backyard through my kitchen.
“WOW! Thanks for ruining my date!” I snapped back at my mother.
“Date? You mean… whatever, Andrea. I just don’t understand why you would do something like this.”
“I’m 27 and I don’t live in Sedona anymore. I can do whatever the hell I want. Don’t talk to me like I’m your precious little girl because your precious little girl is DEAD, okay? I don’t want to hear you talk about the ‘daughter that you raised’. I don’t want to hear you talk about the ‘old Andrea’, alright? That Andrea doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t care how much you loved her. I don’t care how much you missed her. I’m going to do what I want to do and that’s that. Yeah, maybe the OLD ANDREA wouldn’t have been about reality television or anything like that, but times have changed mother. In the professional wrestling business, you have to do whatever the hell it takes to get noticed and become the biggest star that you can be because in this business, that’s ALL that matters! Professional wrestling isn’t about being nice or doing what’s right by the business. It’s about stepping all over anyone you can to get to where you want to be and doing what’s right by YOU!”
“I can’t believe I am hearing this from you…” my mother said with a shocked tone in her voice. “I did not raise my daughter to be like this.”
“Right, how can I even bother explaining professional wrestling to someone who never got it? You just married into a wrestling family, that’s all! You’re as completely clueless about professional wrestling as you were completely clueless about being a mother to me!”
This left my mother standing still, completely shocked. My anger was raging out of control at this point.
“I’ve been there for you your whole life…”
“Don’t you dare give me that speech, mother. You raised me to be weak. You raised me to be a pushover. You raised me to be taken advantage of. It makes sense. You were weak. You let my father push you around. He cheated on you and had another daughter with another woman and you not only stayed with him, you hid that from me for years. That Andrea is never coming back.”
“I’m just trying to understand why you’ve changed so much. Do you really feel that way? Do you really feel like I raised you to be weak?”
“Yes…”
“I never intended to.” she said, tears filling up in her eyes.
“Well you did!” I said, without remorse. “I spent my whole childhood being bullied and taken advantage of. I’ve spent my whole career always getting the short end of the stick because I was so damn nice. I’ve spent my entire life always being in the shadow of someone else and doing things everyone else’s way because that’s how you raised me. I’ve spent years putting up with other people’s shit. I’ve spent the last 11 months of my career, ever since I lost that world title, not only STILL being overshadowed by other people, but STILL putting up with other people’s shit. It’s been a long year for me, mother! I push hard, I try, I give it my very best, I do things by the old book, and where do I end up? NOWHERE! I’ve had it! I’m living my life! I’m doing things MY way! I don’t care whose feelings I have to hurt or who I have to step on! I’m done being some little Crying Sammy letting everyone walk all over me.”
“Crying Sammy?”
“If you actually kept up with my career, you’d know what I mean. I refuse to be like her. I refuse to be walked all over just like her.”
“I’m so sorry, Andrea. If I’ve ever done anything to hurt you, or to hold you back… I want to make it up to you. If you really mean what you’re feeling right now…”
“I do…”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“You can leave” I said, without even thinking twice about it. Not even seeing my mom wipe away a couple of tears stopped me. “I really don’t want to look at the person who is responsible for me being as weak as I was. So do me a favor for once… and just leave!”
“I’ll always be there for you…” she said as she began to leave.
“How can you? You never have been” I said with a scoff. “All you’ve ever done is drag me down!”
My mother couldn’t get out of my house fast enough and in an emotional moment, she slammed the door. I sighed and rolled my eyes, though the sigh was of relief as I was just glad that she was gone. I took a few deep breaths to try to calm down and then I heard the back door open. Soaking in what just happened, I looked down at the floor feeling that same hatred of my old sweetheart self all over again.
“Is everything alright?” Lorenzo asked as he stood behind me.
“Yeah…” I said without hesitation. “Everything’s fine. I’m sorry. That was completely rude of her to drop in like that. Did I ever tell you that she raised me wrong and raised me to be that weak person that you knew in high school?”
“To be fair to your mother, your dad probably manipulated her…”
“RIGHT?” I scoffed once again. “Just like my father… ruining everything like always… now where were we?”
Both of us sat down on the couch and continued on with our date. Meanwhile, I had no care in the world for my mother nor did I have any care or compassion for the weaker woman that I had been last year when the Into the Void event had come around.
Right now, however, all I am thinking about is how I’m going to make the experience at this particular supercard so much better than the experience I had last year and I wasn’t about to let anyone drag me down and try to get me to be that weakling again, not even my own mother!
May 15th, 2021
Mostly to continue to poke fun at Sam Marlowe’s recent “coffee feud” with Bea Barnhart, I found myself inside of a Dunkin’ Donuts restaurant having, you guessed it, coffee. I had the restaurant all to myself at this point as I was the only one besides the employees that was in it at this point. I had thought about my recent words toward Sam in recent weeks, obviously regretting none of them. Nonetheless, I was in a happy, optimistic mood as I began to express my thoughts.
“Good job, Sam! I mean that! I really do! I meant what I said when I said that I wanted you to beat Bea Barnhart and that’s exactly what you did. I mean, it’s not like beating Bea Banhart is anything impressive considering she is one of the worst Bombshells on the roster but nevertheless, maybe things aren’t so hopeless for you after all. Maybe there is still one last spark remaining in the ol’ Houston-based sweetheart. I hope there is, because I don’t want any excuses after I defeat you. You want to act like I’m jealous of you, but let’s be honest with each other. What is there to be jealous about with you anymore? It’s not like you’ve actually accomplished anything since Candy made you her bitch and took the Roulette Championship from you. It’s not like anyone in the locker room is talking about you in a positive sense anymore. You may still have your fans, but I really think that you’re beginning to lose them and I say this actually HAVING proof that you’re beginning to lose your fans. I’m not saying this to talk any sort of shit. My biggest issue with you, at the end of the day, Sam, is the fact that ever since Into the Void, where I lost my Bombshells Championship last year, I’ve been busting my ass! I’ve been doing everything that I can possibly do to get back into championship contention. I’ve taken on some big names and I’ve beaten them. I’ve taken on the so-called ‘hot new things’ and I’ve beaten them. After being unable to win at Supercards for a while, I’ve won on my last two.
I’ve beaten Roxi!
I’ve beaten Seleana!
Ever since I hit rock bottom in that stupid battle royal, I’ve beaten Keira Fisher too! I JUST defeated Ruby Steele in my last match. You would think that ALL of that would put me in title contention right? You would think that any wrestler who has lost just ONE match since last August deserves to have the title shots, right, Sam? Even YOU have to admit that regardless of who we’re talking about here. But what have I gotten, Sam? NOTHING! It sickens me that the stupid battle royal where I hit rock bottom at in SCW is STILL my last opportunity of ANY kind and that was in AUGUST! For NINE MONTHS I’ve been on the damn sidelines waiting and waiting and waiting for an opportunity that I’ve LONG earned by now and despite what I’ve done in the last nine months, I STILL get NOTHING! I went SIX WEEKS without being booked in a match because of that stupid Blast from the Past tournament. I beat Seleana in my last Supercard match, I END THE UNDEFEATED STREAK OF RUBY STEELE FOR FUCK’S SAKE, and then I am STILL sitting on the sidelines, not wrestling a match, because SCW wants to hand Courtney Pierce something she never deserved, because SCW wants to make a big deal about Climax Control 300 and bringing back a bunch of OLD, OUTDATED PEOPLE nobody should give a shit about anymore like Zuri Chastaine for instance and here I am, STILL waiting for a chance.
But YOU?
Exactly HOW many title shots have you been handed in the last nine months? There was the title shot that Myra only gave you because she felt sorry for you. There was a token title shot against Johanna Krieger that you lost. There was that time you won a match for a mystery prize and OF COURSE it’s for a Roulette title shot. And of COURSE, when you face Royal Purple, you LOSE! Gosh, Sam! I’m shocked that they didn’t put you in the Queen for the Day match! Oh and that bullshit gauntlet too, where you would’ve had yet another shot at the Internet Championship. Yeah, maybe you DID have a glimmer of hope when you SOMEHOW finished second in that match, but YOU STILL LOST! For the last sixteen months, Sam Marlowe, you’ve gone from being NEAR GREAT and almost a surefire Hall of Famer to someone who is quickly developing a case of “I’ve hung around for too long” syndrome! You haven’t been able to get over the hump ever since Candy made you her bitch and I am really starting to doubt that you ever will again. I mean… SERIOUSLY? You’ve had HOW many opportunities to be a champion in SCW again and you’ve blown every single one of them? Yet, someone like me has to wait 9 months to even get ONE chance and I STILL can’t get that chance. I’ve become chopped liver. I’ve been cast aside for women like you, Ruby, Courtney, just to name a few and I am TIRED of it.
This whole ‘most underrated bombshell’ slash ‘most overlooked bombshell’ bullshit was cute at first, but now I’m DONE with it! Stick the ‘jealousy’ speculation you’ve been trying to spit at me lately and shove it Sam, because my issue isn’t ‘jealousy’. My issue is that I can’t get what I deserve even though I’ve LONG earned it while women like YOU keep getting opportunity after opportunity. Look at the two women that are challenging for the Roulette Championship! Krystal and Violet are challenging for that title! KRYSTAL AND VIOLET! Can YOU, Sam, honestly sit there and tell me that those two PERENNIAL LOSERS deserve that title shot more than I do? YOU CAN’T because THEY DON’T! That Roulette Championship has hit rock bottom and someone like ME needs to go in there and save it! Women like you, Roxi, Seleana… NONE OF YOU deserved that Internet title shot more than me! Ruby Steele and Courtney Pierce don’t deserve that world title shot more than me, ESPECIALLY Ruby considering I JUST BEAT HER! And yet, the most prodigious, dominant, charismatic, ready-made STAR in this division can’t get a damn title shot? YOU get the opportunities? YOU? OVER ME?!?!?!?!
I’ve HAD IT! Yet, you want to act all cute and innocent at CC 300 last week and act like you’ve never done anything to me. Oh yeah, you HAVE done something to me and that’s take opportunities that belong to ME, that’s what you’ve done! You know what else you’ve done to me, Sam? You’ve acted like you’re better than me this whole time. By acting like you’re taking the high road, you mock me and you belittle me! You try to paint the picture that you’re getting under my skin, but no, bitch, you’re not even close to that. You’re acting like this is the most personal thing ever between you and I and sure, I will admit that in some ways it is, but it’s mostly business. In the business sense, it’s YOU that I have to make an example out of at Into the void because you seem to be the poster child for the Bombshells division that SCW clearly wants you to be for whatever reason! I HAVE to make an example out of you because I want to take the sweetest, most naive, most stupid person in this division and I ahve to put her in her place just to show everyone that I am serious about being a contender again. I have to put you in your place so that I can show the idiots that decide all the opportunities not just that I deserve mine, but that the wrong woman has been getting chance after chance all along. I have to make an example out of YOU because you’re the one they all love: I’m talking about the company, I’m talking about the other Bombshells, I’m talking about the audience… Everyone loves you and I’ve had it with that.
IN BEFORE YOU CALL IT JEALOUSY!
Granted, I don’t understand how anyone can love someone like you considering you’ve done nothing but disappoint your audience again and again over the last sixteen months. I don’t understand why this company still invests in you so much. I’m the REAL ROLE MODEL of what a Bombshell in this division needs to be now! I’m HONEST! I’m BEAUTIFUL! I’m TALENTED! I WIN MATCHES… which is more than what I can say for you lately! I’M the most HATED BITCH on this roster! It’s not Amber, as much as I respect her. It’s not Alicia anymore because she’s fallen off so damn much in recent months losing to Roxi how many times now? It’s ME that’s the most hated, Sam because there isn’t ONE woman on this roster that likes me. Then again, I’ve NEVER been loved around here and really, I don’t give a shit about that. It’s going to be a blast giving people ANOTHER reason to hate me and that’s where you come in. Yeah, beating the most beloved Bombshell on the roster is going to get me some REAL hate! You’ve tried so hard to run away from me. You’ve tried so hard to dismiss me. You’ve tried so damn hard to disrespect me and be the coward that you are, but at Into the Void, there isn’t any more running Sam. There is no more easy way out! This is my opportunity! This is where I get to shine! The best thing I could’ve EVER done was shed my old ways! I sure as hell don’t regret doing so…
Because had I NOT done so?
You know what would’ve happened to my career, Sam? It would’ve ended up just like yours. You’ve got so much in common with OLD ANDREA it makes me sick. I guess maybe in THAT sense it IS personal for me because wrestling against you and defeating you would be like competing against and defeating the OLD ANDREA who was and always will be WEAK! It’s like a purge for me in some ways. I beat you and I put that weak, little naive sweetheart that I used to be behind me once and for all. You personify everything that I used to be as a person, Sam and I guess in a sense, that’s a reason to despise you. Seeing you and seeing what you do reminds me of the part of my life and the part of my career where I used to be like you: easy to take advantage of, easy to break down from a psychological standpoint, a constant failure when it matters the most, a constant weakling when it comes to taking that next step and standing up for herself, being the tame, timid, meek little bitch that lets others pass her by… that’s everything YOU ARE NOW, Sam! That’s everything I USED TO BE! I’VE taken the initiative to evolve and to step out of the shadow of my fucked up family while you continue to dwell in your sister’s shadow and continue to beat yourself down whenever things don’t go your way. You can give me that high road crap all you want, you can tell the world and preach to them that me coming after you doesn’t get to you, but you know, deep down in your fragile, little heart, that it DOES get to you!
I USED to be the girl that took everything to heart and that would let the words of others get to me, even when I said that they didn’t. I lied just about every single time. That’s how I know that you’re being a fraud about your words from the last Climax Control. You’ve admitted HOW many times that you’ve always felt like you’ll always be in your sister’s shadow regardless of everything that you’ve ever accomplished in Sin City Wrestling? Have you NOT talked about how your relationship with your sister constantly affects you in a bad way? You’ve never had your sister’s approval and you never will and deep down, you know that. I know what that feels like because that was my older brother and you know what happened when I quit giving a shit about my older brother approving of me? I became SUCCESSFUL! Someone who is constantly seeking approval can’t go out and say that the words of another doesn’t affect them because the truth of the matter is, they do. And all it does is REALLY drag you down! Take it from someone who DID try to seek approval from all the other Bombshells when she first got here. It hurt like HELL when I TRIED to be nice and all I ever got, for NO REASON AT ALL, was all the other women talking shit about me and trying to bury the hell out of me all because they didn’t approve of me, all because they were jealous that I came in and quickly became better than every last one of them. Yeah, it fucking HURT so don’t sit there in your ivory tower and tell me that the words of others don’t hurt, because they do and if you think my words hurt, that’s nothing compared to what’s REALLY going to hurt at Into the Void and that’s going to be your damn pride!
I’m going to make you feel EXACTLY the way I have over the last eleven months.
I’m going to defeat you and erase the HORRIBLE memory that STILL fucking bothers me from the last Into the Void event and it’s going to make me feel DAMN GOOD because I’m going to defeat both YOU and the WEAKLING that lost the Bombshells World Championship to the most overrated piece of shit this division has ever seen in its history. You bet your ass that Into the Void is going to be a release for me, a release that I’ve long since needed and the year of frustration that has been growing inside of me, I’m going to let it all out on you as I show this company who REALLY deserves to have this division revolve around them! So get ready SWEETHEART, because once again, on a big stage against a big opponent, you’re going to be left the ONE thing you’ve CONSTANTLY been left as since Candy made you her bitch:
HEARTBROKEN!
Have fun living in that void you’ve been living in ever since that day, BITCH!
I have a bit of a chuckle to myself and take a deep breath before taking another sip of my coffee. Afterwards, I waste no time shutting off the camera feeling pretty damn confident about my chances of erasing that deplorable memory of last year’s Into the Void event as well as my chances of making an example of someone I’m continuing to hate more and more with each passing day.
