Old Folks Home
There was a red headed nurse, who was in her 40’s, on reception and was standing and looking at a computer screen with her colleagues as geriatric residents milled about, trying to get the last seat in front of the television to catch some Jeopardy reruns. The nurse looked up from the screen and across the lobby to the living room where the residents were talking so very slowly and missing all the questions from the television.
She did a quick head count and realised there were some missing people. She strode across the lobby, click clacking, as her heels hit the wooden floor, stood stock still, she was shocked. She had lost at least eight residents! Then it struck her. The missing residents were all men. There were just women watching. Where had the men gone. She immediately pulled out her walkie, “This is not a drill. We are missing eight male residents. Code RED!”
As she finished, the women shushed her as they couldn’t concentrate on her voice, jeopardy and the knitting they were doing for their grandchildren. Security guards, nurses, orderlies were rushing hither and tither in their search for the old men, but they were nowhere to be found but then the ginger nurse named Matilda spotted something on the grainy CCTV. Down in the barrels of the building, through a crawl space, to a utility bunker, there was a line of geriatric men outside of the room all eating oranges and spilling the juice from them down their mothball covered sweatshirts. It made her curious. Why were they waiting, what were they waiting for, how could they stand for that long? Like, how did they even get there? So many questions assaulted her mind.
She pointed at each one and counted that there were only six. Could two men be in that room? She used the joystick next to the monitors to zoom in and there was a laminated card on the door which read ‘BFTP – Practice session’ what the hell did that mean? Then she zoomed in at the bottom of the card and it read, ‘With Melissa Aki.’ Who the hell is Melissa Aki? Is she a female pied piper?
She then went to a different screen, pressed a few keys on the keyboard and then used the joystick to rewind to 08:17 am. A stunning looking Asian woman, in a green nurse’s scrubs, strode into the building, nodding and smiling to security, to the other nurses. She entered the mess hall, so Matilda then skipped to the camera in the eating hall, this evil Asian woman was now talking to all the men, whispering to them. She couldn’t hear what this devil had said but they lined up behind her now and then whoa! Matilda jumped back a little as the evil Asian women stared at the camera, her eyes black, blood pouring from the corners of her almond shape eyes, some black blood?
It came from her mouth and then a silent scream, her mouth opening like in a Tim Burton film and then closing again back to normal. Her whole body was back to normal and she marched out of the room with the men following her in single file.
Matilda was a redheaded Latina and knew she was distinctive and had been called a demon so much in her life by other Latin people but here she knew she had seen the devil and it walked in this poor woman’s body. She knew what she had to do. She grabbed the walkie again, “Glenn, follow me. We are going to rescue these men from the demon!” A bout of static over the airwaves, then…“Beats sitting here all day watching Superstore reruns. Be therein five.”
They found the crawlspace and do whatever anyone does in such an area, they crawled slowly through it, hopped down, as Glenn admired Matilda’s behind. The image in front of them was shocking, as if the geriatrics lining up ahead, had all been lobotomised. She pushed her way through the mena nd then came the door, which she flung open and her olfactory senses were engulfed with the smell of sweat, fear and mildew. The smell of the old in a confined space. Glenn seemed to have disappeared as she looked behind her before entering what was generally and old man’s fight club with one exception, which was a beautiful Asian woman with a clothes peg on her nose, in just her underwear fighting the old men!
She stepped forward and realised all the men were fighting in their trousers and sweatshirts. Then it became abundantly clear this woman was wrestling these men but why? She had a whistle around her neck, brought it to her lips and blew it. The Asian woman stopped but an old man didn’t have his hearing aid in and kept trying to chop the woman, she brushed him off whilst staring daggers at Matilda.
“Wanna explain why you cut off my training, you flubbing moron?” Maki was very displeased at the interruption, “Don’t stand there gawking at me. Answer me you motherjammer!”Matilda ushered out the old men, then closed the door and stepped into the wrestling circle Maki had made with duct tape,
“Training? These are senile old men. You could have killed them. Their hearts would have given out just looking at you and then you beat them up and call it training. I should call the cops!” She grabbed her phone and Maki in one swift motion Makihouse kicked the phone out of her hand. Matilda held her hand and screamed in agony. This made Melissa soften somewhat. “Look love, it is not every day I need to team up with an old man in the ring. Obviously someone as world renowned as myself cannot just rock up somewhere and team with a geriatric. I have the fans around the world expecting me to be in such a bad position that I might lose. Which, you know, is like totally unforgiveable. What else could I do but prepare to wrestle with equally geriatric men?”Melissa wondered if this woman had any leanings towards women so she fluttered her eyelashes, bent towards her so she could show her cleavage but this Matilda woman just locked eyes. She should be looking at Maki’s boobs not her eyes. Flubbing Damnation!
“Okay, whoever you are,” She said while Maki scoffed at the notion this woman didn’t know who she was. “These are old men and time is not on their side. I don’t care who you are teaming with or who you must wrestle but you could have fought old men who were trained like you are. This is unacceptable. I am going to call the cops. You could have killed them!
Matilda turned and bent down to grab her phone with her good hand and as she straightened back up Melissa hit her with a Makihouse kick from behind and then locked in the Land of Hope and Glory crossface chickenwing until Matilda passed out from the pain. Bloody women. Always sticking their nose into her business. The thought occurred to her that maybe she had someone who had already called the police. She grabbed her clothes and hightailed it out of the room. At least she had some measure of what she would have to team with in the Blast From The Past match and it didn’t erase her concerns.
Up A Creek Without A Paddle
It had been a week since Daniela had tried her latest haunting trick, scratching the walls of Maki’s home, random candles lighting, television sets being turned on when she and her wife were asleep.
Of course, time is different for Demons so she could just be a millisecond for her, or she was reaping someone else’s soul. As Melissa walked down the stairs to the ground floor the was a base of fire on the wooden floor and as she got closer, she could read the name in the fire as ‘Jessie.’ Daniela was not done with that brazen hussy but as far as Maki was concerned, she had moved on.
There were so many talented women she wanted to fight and of course morons like the Bombshells champion. She still couldn’t believe that Crystal had won it. After all Evie and Alicia had done to elevate that championship it was back down into the gutter again. She did hope at some point she might have a shot at it because, hell, she knew she could beat that charlatan anytime she wanted. She did have a sense of pride at how well Amber had done and she knew it was a matter of time until someone great like her was champion again. She wanted her rematch with Amber but only in the right setting.
As her thoughts went a mile a minute, she noticed the fire dissipated. She went over to her couch and mused trying to summon Daniela. It was time all these stupid hauntings were put to rest and she had the demon inside her again. She giggled to herself at that thought. Instead, her thoughts turned to the laptop in front of her. She tied her hair back into a very high bob and switched it on. It was getting closer to Climax Control and she had a promo to cut. “It’s Blast From The Past time. Now my opponents and especially all you fans out there who have been asking why I have not been on the past couple of shows want to know what has happened. Nothing. I had come back from an ankle injury, I have defeated everyone who has stepped up to me since then, except for that Miles performace, so I took some stock of where I am and I now feel finally like I am getting back to my A game. Also, being paired with an old loser, I need to prepare, and we need to prepare so I went and trained with him and with other geriatrics because I am a born winner and I aim to win this tournament.
She paused to straighten her tank top and mulled over a thought in her head. “I am not the disingenuous kind of person who believes in belittling the participants in this tournament. That is just a breeding ground for the flubbing losers who cannot see past their own inflated egos. You see, all you so-called bad girls and guys, you do this incessantly and you know what it does to the tournament? It makes a mockery out of it. What if you won it after belittling everyone then it tarnishes your accomplishment, no? I may say some things that are classed as derogatory, but it is part of the mind games I am proficient in. When it comes to this Blast From The Past there are some very good teams and to beat them we will have to be at our optimum but I am focussed because I want that title shot!”
Having a Mixed Tag team title shot which was eventually ruined by the lacklustre performance from Miles had lit a fire under her. She was so close to having a title and the first one in Sin City that she knew now she needed a title, she needed to know she was one of the best in this place, even though, obviously she was, she still had that doubt after that debacle of a performance against that minger Salco. Now she realised the only way forward was to get a title, any title and specifically the Bombshells world title but she was not averse to knocking off Myra or anyone else. She came here to win titles and she will win them dammit!
“ I have been paired with Bill Barnhart. What is it they call you? The Bulldog? I have to admit I have been around bulldogs, they are so cute and cuddly. I also remember a match when I decimated Bea is it? I distinctly remember you attacking me on the outside and constantly trying to interfere. I must say I was taken aback by your brazen flouting of the rules, but I got my own back when I knocked Bea out cold so no hold feelings buckaroo. Just do not flub me over in this match. I know I will have to do all the work like I did in the mixed tag title match, I get you are an old never was and usually I hate all these dastardly nincompoops who ride my coattails but with your age and possibility of a heart attack or stroke it should be me who does all the work. Just think of it like it is my donation to help the aged. Do not mess up when you have the chance in the ring. I will not accept that, and it could lead to me delivering my own Makihouse Kick to you. It’s a fair warning and you should heed it. This is going to be a really hard match to win and personally I hate having to rely on a partner which is why I hate tag matches but the end of the rainbow is my own pot of gold and we need to risea bove whatever they throw at us, so Bill, do not fail me like Miles did.”
Her thoughts turned to her opponents as she sipped on her mint green tea. She knew one of them very well but the other stumped her. She paused recording and started to hit google but with little success. This bothered her. She hated not doing her homework on her rivals. She needed to get this done so she hit record again.
“I have to say I know little about Joshua Aquin and I hate that. I probably should have found a way to get his back catalogue of misfortunes but alas I didn’t and there is nothing on him on google. Twitter lead me down some weird and mysterious winding road and I again came up empty. Do I not like that! Anyway, Joshua it matters little how tough you are, how much pain you can inflict because we both know you will want to face the old man but there is nothing you can do about me. I will take you apart legally and illegally because unlike anyone else you ever faced I am all about winning and it does not matter one jot to me how I do it, how disgraceful the means to achieve it is, all that is important is that we win and you lose. You and I know that this match is not really about all four of us but is about the two womeni n this match. You two ignorant morons can keep going on about whatever but we all know that the water carriers of this match are myself and Marlowe. That is what it will come down to so go have a picnic with Bill while we tear this motherjamming house down!”
Her thoughts raced to Marlowe and a smile spread across her lips. She knew she had that drama queen right where she wanted. This was how they would win this match.
“Samantha Marlowe. How are you, pet? Looking forward to some shenanigans on Sunday? You know, Sammy, I have travelled around the world working for various companies and each single one has had some lifer, some woman that they all state is a legend in their company, they all say how I will lose and she will destroy me and yet I always somehow find a way to win. You are one of these people. Maybe you spent a lot of time fighting nobodies, maybe you spent a lot of time bent over being jack hammered by someone to get given such a ratioed position but like the others it didn’t matter why as I put you out when we last faced off and to be honest I will do it again. I am not bragging but I am infinitely better than you in every single regard but I do know you are a threat and I will not take it lying down but I will win because that is what I do. I know you always been pushing, always trying to get out of the box your sister put you in. I get it. I have a domineering golden child of a sister who is a real bitch. She thinks she is better than me and tries to pigeonhole me too but hell I am a worldwide superstar, so I think I won that battle. Whereas you are still striving, still so eager to become validated by your sister but that will never happen because you will never be able to do it. You might believe your own delusions but in the end are you at my level, at the level needed to attain top billing, to attain title shots, to be loved so ceremoniously by the locker room and management? You already succumbed to my talents so who is to say you will not again? Maybe this drives you. Maybe I drive you to get revenge for that oh so easy loss? If so you’re most welcome, honeylove. Yet, it will be all in vain as I have your number and I seen how weak your jutting jaw is. One Makihouse kick and you tumble like dominoes. Your sister was right. You really are the runt of the litter but don’t worry love there is always Myra she is more at your debased level. Watch me win and you can even say, ’I lost to the eventual winners’ maybe that gives you some essence of prestige even though you are just a glorified jobber. When you look at the lights, after you have been knocked out again, you see my face peering down at you just remember one fact – you were born to be in the shadows and I was made to be the light that casts it.
She shut the laptop as suddenly every lightbulb in the housebroke simultaneously. Bloody Daniela is costing me a fortune, she thought. She shook her head and headed to the weights room.
