Author Topic: Facing Bill Barnhart again.  (Read 569 times)

Offline Ben Jordan

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Facing Bill Barnhart again.
« on: January 12, 2021, 01:54:18 PM »
Cor blimey, been a while since I had to do this. So much has happened since I last stepped my foot inside an SCW, let alone have to talk about it. Christmas and New Year had passed us by and we were already approaching the middle of January. Doesn't time fly when ya having fun? Well, the most fun we can have at this point.

So let me see what has been going on. My wife turned full pelt Mrs. Claus over Christmas, more wrapped presents than Santa had in Lapland, you wouldn't know it after she kicked the living bejesus out of Jessie Salco the other day, but she's a bit of a romantic when the cameras are off, just don't tell her I told ya that! New year was just a quiet one, there was me and Eves, and that was pretty much it. It was bit nippy out there, so the fire pit was glowing, and champagne was flowing and just for a few hours, the whole pandemic was like a distant memory, or an alternative universe. We wished each other a happy new year, knowing full well 2021 would not be better right away, but it will get better and like the rest of the world, we looked for the brighter days.

And of course, me contract with Sin City Wrestling expired on the stroke of midnight and I was a free agent. It wasn't like I was gonna run away from it all, things just take longer to deal with in a pandemic than they usually would. Like most years, I just let Despayre annoy Christian Underwood and sort out a new deal, partly because he is the son of Synn, a man who got amazing contracts for his Seven Deadly Sins over the years, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but also because I know full well Despayre annoys Christian so bloody much, he could ask for whatever he wants and he'll get it, just so he'd leave the office.

But a strange ol' thing happened with that.

I left Despayre and Angel to it on Sunday to sort that out and negotiations wasn't finished by the time my wife had destroyed Jessie Salco, I had to get her out of there, not for fear of being arrested, cause you know, wrestling an' all, but because she was legitimately fuming, so to heck with the contract and signing, I had to get her away and that I did, getting her out of the arena slash casino and to the Las Vegas Strip. I shoulda brought fishlips with us after what he did too and keep him out of place giving him the hump, but I had to just focus on the missus, not sure I coulda handled two angry, angry people on my own.

Anyway, that was done and Eves was away from the agro, the working day was done and a quick party invite got us to The Golden Ring Casino, where a few SCW people were knocking around. I heard the party went on for a while, early hours kinda while, but Eves and me stuck around for just a while before getting on that plane and making our way back to Maine.

Not a lot was said on the way back... Well, we pretty much passed out and got back early morning, and this is where today's story starts.

MONDAY 11th JANUARY 2021

Like most days when it came to flying home, a whole lot of sleep in bed was cut down to just a few hours, usually to rest the muscles from a night in the ring, or the longer plane flight home, well this was just like most days. The difference was I saw my name on the next card, the one for next Sunday, which considering I haven't signed a new contract, I found that weird, but maybe they were confident enough that I was gonna sign. If not, as always stated and often used, card subject to change. It got in my head that maybe, after being out of the ring for so long, that I needed to get off me aris and work on some cardio.

I rolled out of bed before Evie, which on it's own was unusual for me, and decided it wasn't worth hitting the whirlpool tub, or the shower, I was gonna be a sweaty mess in half an hour anyway, so I got ready, wandered out the house and looked at the lake before starting a morning run around it.

It was weird feeling the leafs and twigs breaking under my feet as by body weight pounded down on the dirt as I started to try and pick up the pace. Usually, non wrestling weeks, I work on specifics in the gym but wrestling weeks, I work five days a week starting with this run. I felt like I was off my pace as I ate up the feet around the outside of the lake, before turning and looking at the house we owned in the distance, looking at how far I'd already made it.

"Not bad." I commented to myself as my eyes darted across the water.

The morning sun had started to catch the lake, it's glowing light bouncing off the slow moving waves, it was a thing of natural beauty but I turned to keep going, moving at a steady pace till I got the edge of the lake, the furthest I could possibly be from home and I stopped. It was my usual stopping point and the fallen tree I often use as a seat, had not yet fallen to the elements, so I sat, stopped for just a while, planting me bum on the wood - Jamie, if you're listening, it doesn't mean what you think it does!

I didn't wear one of those heart monitor watches, I'm proper old school mate, we didn't have those years ago, but I did need to check the time, so I did what the kids do these days and out came my phone.

"Yep." I said with a slight shrug. "Slow as an elephant in a hundred metre dash"

I moved to put my phone back in my pocket, but something else caught my eye. It was a tweet from Alex Jones.



Here's the thing, I don't watch an opponents promo until mine airs. I feel it's more fair that way. I mean if you watch your opponents work, you might be tempted to play one up against 'em and that ain't me, I like to set the pace rather than chase, so seeing that quote, apparently from Bill's body of work, I had to ask if he really said that, it took a quick reply to Alex, and a few comments from people to confirm he did.

"Bloody hell." I said to myself with a slow shake of my head. "It's like the bloke had never watched me in the ring or something. It's like the bloke had forgot I was the World champion for nearly a freaking year!"

I dunno why that irked me so much but it did, it got right on my Bristol's to be fair, so I had to fire back with a little cheeky ramble of my own.



I couldn't help by smile as I hit send on that. It didn't take long for Fenris or Krystal Wolfe to add their extra little things I should do to be more like Bill... Hmmm, maybe a new mocking hashtag #DontBeLikeBill. I admit, that tickled my fancy, as did seeing notifications from Mark Cross and Lachlan Kane also questioning the world Bill lives in, thank you all, and you too Mikah for your mention, right before I recorded this!

Anyway, back on point. Just seeing this quote lit something extra in me. I mean I get wrestlers are meant to be big and tough and what not, to get you in front of the screens but that was just stupid. Zero respect, and even less research, I mean for God's sake Bill! What the hell was you watching last year when I was champion?

Still, the determination removed my jacksy from that fallen tree and I pounded that dirt with my feet as I run around the other side of the lake, every time I thought of that quote, it pushed me a little further, brought my pace up. It wasn't long before I was back around and outside the house. I had to check the time again, but I saw a text on my phone from Alex Jones.

"I really wanna see you destroy him." I read out loud.

I had a lot of respect for Alex Jones, and seeing that spurred me on even more. Alex and his stable mate, Austin James Mercer had spurred me on a lot. Alex with things like that, and Austin cause I knew he was always looking over my shoulder as champion. If I dropped the ball, he'd be there to kick me up the rear when I bent over to pick it up, and take the ball home.

I quickly replied to Alex before walking in the front door of the house.

"Babe." I called out. "You'd never guess what that numpty Barnhart said about me."

I walked in to the house a little further to see my wife sitting on the living room floor, Bear next to her side, popcorn in front, with four televisions around her.

"Bloody hell, she wasn't kidding when she said she needed all of the TVs." I said to myself.

I looked over to see each television in sync with the other, surrounded by sound coming out of all of then. I admit, I thought she'd lost the plot, but still.

"I'll just..." I said

"Shuuuuuuuuush." Evie replied, her finger to her lips but her eyes never leaving a television.

You lot hearing that might think she's gone a bit doolally, but nah, stranger things have happened in this house. I mean you should hear about the time I built a sofa fort, and really didn't wanna leave it. I mean if you can't have fun in your own home, what's the point?

I knew I wasn't getting anything out of her till the film had ended... And she watched it again, so it was time for that shower.... Or at least I thought it was. I had just stepped in to the bedroom when my phone started to buzz, a video call from Christian Underwood. This was it, either Despayre had got a deal that he thought acceptable to me, or it was Christian about to tell me a deal could not be reached and the card would be changed and I'd be free to work elsewhere.

"Christian." I said as I swiped the answer button, but looking back at me was a very different Christian.

He looked tired, like he hadn't slept too much, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Are you ok?" I enquired.

He didn't answer straight away, he just stared at the phone.

"I am tired and I need a long vacation." He started. "We left negotiations last night for a while, and at four this morning, Despayre was knocking on my door to continue them."

I held off from smiling, I knew Despayre could be a pitbull when it came to these things, more determined than most people in these situations.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I said. "But did things get sorted so he don't have to bug ya for a while again?"

Christian sighed as he looked at me on the video.

"Oh, things got sorted as you put it." he said softly. "After he pointed out that you had already got four offers more than what you were paid before, and that you were good for the company with your charity work, and shining a light on certain things, he got you a thirty percent pay rise for the whole year."

That cheeky little D... Despy. The truth is, I never got a single offer from anyone else and I played it that way. I could have very easily told the world my contract was about to expire and I was free to talk soon and spent last night debuting elsewhere, but fair play to Despy.

"More than generous." I said with a smile.

"That's what I thought." Christian grumbled. "One minute it was ten percent, the next it was thirty and I don't even know how he did that."

"For the standard year?" I asked.

"I tried to make it a three year thing, but in his words." Christian said as he thought back. "It's not a real reunion unless we do this every year."

I had to hold back another smile as I looked at Christian's tired face on the screen.

"It gives him something to look forward to I guess." I said with a shrug. "I guess I'll sign it when we fly in this weekend coming."

"You don't wanna hear about the other perks he got you?" Christian asked, clearly holding back a yawn.

"Other perks?" I questioned.

"He got you more weekends off." Christian started. "A shiny globe keychain, a five pound tub of jelly beans, ten bottles of cherry coke to be delivered to you every month, plane tickets to Alaska, matching Mr and Mrs wool hats, dolls for some guy called Chris, I'm not sure why that's even in your contract, a hairbrush, a gold toothbrush, five wine corks...."

"Five wine corks?" I said surprised. "What do I need wine corks for?"

"I don't know, Ben." Christian said with a meh like look on his face. "But after negotiating with him, I get the feeling I'll be drinking more than five bottles tonight."

Christian didn't even break a smile as he continued.

"He also got you a pen, an iron for your clothes, a Christmas stocking, a plate and a dustpan and brush." Christian said before putting his hands up. "Again, I don't know why but there's a lot of other stuff he got in there. I've also gotta go find someone called Marge, wrap her in bubble wrap and throw her down a hill."

Ok, that one got me laughing out loud, but Christian never batted an eyelid. It took a few seconds to compose myself, but eventually, I got there.

"All sound great." I said with a nod and a smile. "You should get some sleep."

"I will, right after I find a vacation home for a damn teddy bear." Christian said with a sigh. "Have a good un."

And with that Christian hung up. I could have easily gone back to Evie and told her, but I could save that for another day. The whirlpool tub was calling my name, and nope, you can't come and join me there!



Usually, I'd be sitting outside on my own little beach thingy or something but not gonna lie, it's a bit chilly out there and I know, I should be used to the chilly thing being a Brit and all but nope, so here I am sitting in the living room. My eyes glance quickly towards Evie, placing a television back on the wall, before turning towards the camera.

"Alright people!" I say with a smile. "Been too long since I've said that!"

It really has been.

"Well, back in the ring I go it seems, but lemme make something pretty clear before I start." I say with a hand up. "I have not watched Bill Barnhart's promo, I might switch it on after I'm done here. I know those things are a bit messy at times, but I have seen enough to see how they're structured and they're one big ball of mess with the missus talking more than Bill, nothing actually making sense and people, questioning how sane this man is, am I close?"

I didn't know if I was close but to me, Bill seemed stuck in his ways and nothing was gonna change him at all.

"Although Bill, I've not heard any words you've said, I was sent a quote from you." I continue. "One that was actually pretty insulting to be fair. Not only insulted me but seemingly insulted all the roster, about how quickly you was gonna be beating me. That's one of the biggest, yet overused insults, in the world of wrestling when you're someone like me. I ain't saying someone like me to be all ego and that rubbish, I mean what I've done over the last year. Mate, I was SCW World Heavyweight champion for a lot of last year, I was the bloke the bloke who won Man of the Year, Wrestler of the Year, Couple of the Year, Most Popular of the Year, what was you doing last year? Did you sleep through all of that or something Bill? Did the wrestling world end at the end of your nose or something."

I was serious.

"Think about it for a second." I say with a wag of the finger. "I did all that and you have the Jacobs to sit there and say you're gonna make easy work of me? Mate, people can't remember half a dozen things you've done in your whole SCW career let alone dismiss me like I'm nothing. That mate, is bloody insulting. I've sat through my career being the good guy, good ol' Ben, he'll do anything for anyone. You've sat there and in one go, dismissed everything about me. You sat there and you've used a generic line and hoping it will stick. Thing is, it won't stick and now I'm starting to fall in line with everyone else and question your mental well being, I'm starting to wonder if the bosses shouldn't get you evaluated because clearly, you live in a fantasy world where no one else exists. You dismiss everyone in the same way, they give you a walloping and you do it again, say the same old stuff the next week. The definition of crazy is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result."

I do watch pretty much everything and to me, Barnhart promos, Bill or Bea's, just seem to be the same when it comes to selling a match.

"You used to actually amuse me Bill, to the point if you needed it, I would stand by your side." I admitted. "But mate, even I'm starting to find you a little bit sad. You're like the boxer who has took one too many hits to the head but you keep fighting, you keep slurring that speech to sell fights, no one wants to watch but they can't turn away because they know you're gonna take one hell of a battering. It worries me that they still allow you to wrestle when.... And this is an old generic phrase you might remember, the lights are on but there's no body home."

I tap the side of my head as if to prove a point.

"It's like you run on auto pilot with the things you say and do and people should be worried for your mental well being." I say firmly.

People probably should be, he has the tendency to ramble like an old timer.

"But based on that quote I was told, that's out there in the public domain." I start. "No Bill, you will not steamroll through me, or walk all over me, or beat me with ease. In fact, you ain't gonna beat me at all Billy boy, you're not gonna even come close to beating me because that quote has lit a fire under me and now you've given me a little extra motivation. You've given me a little extra meaning to knock you back in to reality because whatever world you're prancing around in, it's not the same as the rest of us. You've genuinely made a nice guy more determined to win and let's be fair about it, on paper, I'm the fave here, you're not, your blatant disrespect to me, and the fact you annoyed a lot of good people with that silly quote means I will be doing this for them, I'm saint Ben after all, I like to make people happy, and there's gonna be a lot of happy people knocking around when the bell rings at the end of the match."

I was deadly serious. Being told that one quote had shaken off the ring rust without being in the ring, it had taken away any thought of being sluggish.

"Maybe next time Bill, you'll look beyond your nose and look at what other people do in your place of work." I say with a serious tone. "Maybe then you can customise things and won't be so generic or use lines that only rattle around the head of seventy year olds. Telling a bloke who had all the success I have over the last year, the same thing you would tell someone who's never been in a ring before is not really a smart thing to do, makes you look like you're stuck in your own little world there, but don't worry, you couldn't be arsed to take notice of me so you spout that rubbish little quote, I'll just come out there and show you who I am, who I've been for years."

I quickly look off camera, my eyes narrowed.

"Bear! Bear!" I yell out. "Get away from that cactus!"

I turn back and smile at the camera, giving my best innocent look.

"Eves babe." I call out. "Wanna finish off my promo for me?"

"Nope." Evie's Australian accent can be heard off camera. "You're a grown arse man, you can do your own promos."

Again, I can't help but smile at the camera and try to be innocent.

"I'm only twenty one!" I lie, as the innocent look stays on my face. "I even forgot to take the drugs that Bill takes before his promos."

I shrug my shoulders as I smile.

"There's that world of difference between us Bill." I say directly down the camera. "Not only those things I mocked, if you picked up on them, but the fact I'm leagues ahead of you mate in the ring. The only thing that will be beaten with ease, is you Bill."

I could feel the confidence.

"Right, I'm off to grow a stupid ginger beard and order a few pizzas." I say with a grin. "Word of advice Bill, think before you speak, it's better to be thought of a fool, than open ya yap and remove all doubt."

I wink at the camera.

"Laters people."

And with that, the camera fades to black.
>

Cockney King.
SCW World Heavyweight Champion
SCW Internet Champion
SCW Roulette Champion
SCW Tag Team Champion (3x)
SCU Underground champion
ACW's only Triple Crown Champion.
Super J Cup Winner 2013.
Twitter: @CockneyKingBen