Author Topic: “No sense of humour!”  (Read 533 times)

Offline Caleb Storms

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“No sense of humour!”
« on: October 26, 2020, 08:30:40 AM »
Caleb came close to winning the Bloodbath Match between him, Jack and Alex but in the end Alex would pick up the win after pinning Jack, however Caleb was not getting much of a chance to rest up as this week on Climax Control he was taking on Bill Barnhart in the opening contest of the night (also the first CC in two weeks to not have a title match scheduled), two men met last year in a Six Pack Challenge Qualifier which Caleb ultimately won tying their series of matches together at one apiece and now Caleb looking to break the tie and his losing streak, can he win?

Backstage at Climax Control, Las Vegas, Nevada
Sunday the 25th of October 2020, 11:00pm

I swear, people have no sense of humour these days.

The Roxi’s Soul Parody passed the Lemmy Test, and the lyrics were funny but because “Too Soon” is still a thing apparently Katie made me write a follow up parody as an apology to Team Hero with her writing most of the lyrics, but I guess it could’ve been a lot worse.

I could’ve showed up in the Fenris costume.

As I emerged from the ringside area following the Triple Threat Bloodbath Match between me, Alex Jones and Jack D The Ripper which Alex won after pinning Jack I found Katie waiting for me in her Halloween costume (Doro Pesch)  whilst leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, she looked up when she heard me approaching her and let out a deep breath.

“Was that really so difficult?” Katie asked before she walked up and kissed me. “I swear Caleb, your going to piss off the wrong people with one of your parodies sooner or later.”

“Hey, if they are funny then it’ll be worth it!” I asserted and Katie quickly shook her head in response. “So, when do I get back control of our side of the Twitter account?”

“If and only if you last the rest of the year without getting on anyone’s bad side.” Katie responded as she shook her head. “I mean, pushing you out of the arena last week was great exercise but I don’t want to keep doing that, until you manage to avoid that I’m taking over our side of the Twitter account, and no, your not getting a say in this.”

“Why not?” I asked as Katie started to walk towards the cafeteria and Katie glanced up.

“Why not?! You looked at the whole Sin situation and decided “yeah, that’ll be a great subject for a parody song”, you should be lucky that Sin never targeted Fenris.” Katie pointed out and I went to respond but couldn’t find the words. “Come on, the Bombshell Internet Title Match is next, and I can’t wait to see Maki eat her words.” Katie added and I nodded in agreement before following Katie to the cafeteria.

*the next day at the studio*

Despite Katie’s belief that none of my parodies could ever match the parodies from the Slashstreet Boys that Mark invited to last night’s Climax Control I was quickly back to work on my next parody, if anything I took Katie’s declaration as a challenge!

Only thing is, I don’t know who I’m facing this week, so I don’t have any ideas for the parody.

“SCW finally sent me this week’s card.” Katie commented as she stepped into my studio space and I looked up, Lemmy was lying down next to me but when Katie heard her voice he quickly ran up to Katie “Mark got hung over last night hence the delay but you’re in action again.”

“Well, at least that means I have some material for my next parody.” I commented as Katie stroked Lemmy. “So, who am I facing?”

“The one opponent where the Lemmy test is actually appropriate.” Katie responded as she rolled her eyes and Lemmy wagged his tail when he heard his name being said. “Your facing Bill Barnhart in the opener, I guess they want to break that tie between you and Bill.” Katie added and she likely saw the proverbial lightbulb go off above my head before I started working on the song parody, out of curiosity Katie walked up to me with Lemmy walking alongside her and looked over my shoulder. “Okay, I have just one question.”

“Shoot.” I responded as I started writing the lyrics and Katie stepped into my view.

“That song is originally by a group of musicians from the Bahamas, tell me you’re not going to perform it in Blackface?” Katie asked and it was my turn to give her a surprised/shocked look. “I know, I know, you’ve never been racist but after all the shit you’ve pulled recently, I need to make sure.”

“First off, this show is on the day after Halloween, not the day of Halloween.” I pointed out and Katie nodded as she got the idea. “Second, even if it was Halloween next week there’s no way in hell I’d do that, this whole song parody thing is about helping me stand out from the crowd but that would get me the wrong kind off attention and would likely get me cancelled before my match against Bill concludes!”

“Good to know you’ve still got some common sense up there.” Katie responded with a sigh of relief before Lemmy walked up to me. “Off course, that’s if it passes the Lemmy test.” Katie added before Lemmy plopped down by my feet.

*promo time*

Sure enough, that parody passed the Lemmy test and the song writing process has started, even so I still have my promo against Bill to do so here we go.

“If you ask me, most people in SCW have no sense of humour, don’t believe me? Look at my Roxi’s Soul parody and my subsequent apology song but this week I have more important things to worry about like breaking my tie with Bill Barnhart in the opening match of this week’s Climax Control where, you guessed it, I’m facing Bill Barnhart! This isn’t my first meeting with “Old Fart” Bill Barnhart, in fact this is our third match.”

And now for a history lesson.

“My first match against Bill was after he earned the right to challenge Griffin Hawkins for the Roulette Championship, he won that match but ultimately failed to dethrone Griffin and win the Roulette Championship, our next meeting was just a couple of months later when we met in a qualifier for the Six Pack Challenge at December 2 Dismember which I ultimately won, subsequently got back on Fenris’s bad side and lost the Six Pack Challenge.”

See a pattern?

“See, our first two matches had a greater purpose down the line, Bill challenging Griffin for the title and me qualifying for the Six Pack Challenge but this time? Neither me nor Bill have anything lined up for the upcoming PPV and are coming off losses but hey, at least I’m not facing another member of Wolfslair! At the end of the day, this match is about one thing and that’s breaking the tie between me and Bill in this little unofficial trilogy of matches that we’ve found ourselves in!”

And I intend to end it with a win.

“And I don’t know about Bill, but I have no intention of losing this match, I won our last encounter last year and it’ll be a cold day in hell before Old Fart Bill Barnhart gets the better of me again! As for where I go from here, I don’t know! I haven’t got anything scheduled for High Stakes X and that PPV is drawing near, somehow I doubt I’ll get away with the same stunt I pulled in the lead up for Violent Conduct VI either and for all I know they’ll leave me off the card.”

Hopefully not, anyway it’s time I wrapped things up.

“Old Fart Bill Barnhart won our first encounter, I won the second encounter and now we come to the tie breaker in this week’s opening contest, unfortunately for Bill there can only be one winner and that winner will be me as we head into High Stakes X and whatever’s in store for us on that show because Bill had better brace himself because there’s a storm brewing, otherwise he’ll be blown away by “The Metal Storm” Caleb Storms!”

I walked off as the scene fades.
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