Bleed it out….
It had been a rough few weeks. Since Summer XXXtreme. The match ran through her mind over and over again. What could she have done differently?. What was the reason for her loss?. Questions everywhere but very few answers. So, she did what she always does when it’s time to refocus and reboot. She threw herself into the gym. She threw herself into working out and into improving her body. But it was always more than that.
Alicia arrived early. Not just before any of the other members, before any of the owners. Alex and Sonya had given her a key long ago, she arrived and opened the large roller door lifting the metal up as it coiled behind the wall above. She took a long deep breath in and smiled. She felt comfortable here, she felt right. Even as the virus ravaged the world, and the greater United States, things had started changing, getting back to a small amount of normality.
She could travel, she could stay with her family, she could train at her home gym. These were all things she had taken for granted over the last few months since returning from injury.
Humans are creatures of habit, we gravitate towards the comfort and the familiar. Even though Alicia had taken herself out of her comfort zone many times over the years she had always craved stability. From when she was a little girl to now, she needed a stable home life, a stable friendship base. Things she had at home. The smell hit her, first thing in the morning. The cleaning products that had kept everything sterile. Even before the pandemic Alex always made sure they cleaned at the end of the day.
”Take pride in the gym, take pride in yourself” She muttered to herself, It was something Alex had said many times, but also something that had been said to her back in Japan. A mantra of respect and honor. Things that were instilled in her from day one of starting down this path in life. Back to basics. Back to the grind. She turned the lights on and smiled placing her back down at the side. She was in her gear, the aic con was on, the music was on and Alicia was in the workout room, the weights sitting around her.
She hooked her legs at the end of the bench that was tilted at a 45 degree angle, holding a fifty pound plate to her chest and started doing sit ups. Each one using her core to push herself up as sweat started to drip from her body to the mat beneath her. The music seemed to drown out the rest of the sounds, her grunting, the movement of the bench she was laying on, all of it. Even the footsteps of the next person to arrive.
His voice broke through the focus. ”How long have you been doing that?” Alex smiled and shook his head, two coffees in his hands. He placed on down near the machine, Alicia could smell it, the caffeine, the shot of hazelnut flavour. She sighed and moved the large metal plate over to the floor, reaching up to unhook her legs from the top of the bench. Alex moved around and sat down on the nearest bench taking a sip of his own coffee. Alicia sat on the floor, her legs crossed as she drank her own.
She couldn’t help but smile. Coffee made her happy. ”You know me, After a win, I’m here early, after a loss...I barely leave.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. She was right of course. Alicia had always been that way. ”You know it wasn’t your fault right?” She looked up raising an eyebrow, ”The loss, things happen, and Andrea is a variable” A small smirk came across her lips as she slowly nodded. She knew he was right But it still wasn’t an excuse. Alicia never liked excuses. Even if they were valid. ”You really haven’t changed. Not one bit since I met you kid...a blessing and a curse being this good…”
He pushed to his feet and moved out towards the office, his coffee in hand. Alicia took a long deep breath in looking down at the top of the coffee up, her finger danced along the plastic rim as steam billowed from the slit in the top.
Her mind flashed back, 8 years ago, Tokyo Japan. A young Alicia Lukas sat on her knees, her back straight. She was next to three other women, all Japanese and men lined up next to them in ascending height order. Her long blond hair was tied back with a few small pink accents throughout. Her bright blue eyes stared forward, a large purple bruise visible on her cheek. There was a loud clap and the trainees all stood up, they gave a small bow and everyone but Alicia walked out to the outer area and to the kitchen to eat.
Alicia though moved around the gym moving mats, rolling them up and making sure the ropes were wiped down in both practice rings. She sighed and cleaned the turnbuckle pads before jumping down off the apron to the floor. She had left one ring untouched, she slid in and moved around it, feeling the canvas beneath her feet, the plywood, the cabled ropes. Alicia closed her eyes and smiled before taking off hitting the ropes over and over again, putting her lead arm out to pull herself against the cables and back again, she suddenly stopped and changed angles before rolling and popping back to her feet.
But she wasn’t alone, a pair of eyes were watching her, his arms over his chest as he stepped towards the ring with a laugh. ”Everyone else is eating” Alicia startled and turned, it was Alex Jones. A young fellow american wrestler from texas who had been a pro for about five years. He was six foot tall, athletic and had long dark hair with blond streaks and piercing green eyes. Alicia bit her lip, she was 19 years old, had been in japan a few months and had only got her foot in the door because of her father.
”You know how it is. I’m not Japanese, and I’m female. Double the sin, triple the work” Alex chuckled. She wasn’t wrong.
Alicia had turned up with her bag, a few dollars and a name of the head instructor, a man who had known her father Jason Maxwell. The seven foot tall american kaiju. The gym took her in, let her train in exchange for cleaning. She had to pay her dues, they went hard on her. There were no promises in the ring, no promises of training or glory. And definitely no preferential treatment. Her cheek burned, a reminder of her position in the gym. Beneath everyone else. A lesson learned with an errant elbow, a receipt for her own careless mistake.
Alex moved along the apron, his hand reaching out to move his fingertips along the canvas. Alex had been announced as a guest for a few shows, leading a contingent of stars from New Championship Wrestling. Their farewell tour as the company was going to close in a few months. Alex sighed and looked over at Alicia.”You want to show me what you’ve learned?” The question caught her off guard, her jaw dropped and she swallowed hard. This was not the same Alicia we know today.
She had the blond hair, the bright blue eyes and the smile. But there was no arrogance, no battle hardened ring IQ, she was still five foot six, but was barely a hundred pounds. She had no muscle, no power. The curves and muscles we see today were a year or two off beginning. This wasn’t Alicia Lukas. This was Violet Maxwell, debutant daughter of Scarlett Justine and Jason Maxwell. A 19 year old rookie…
”Sure.”
She smiled, she panicked. What the hell did she say?. What did she agree too?. Why would she agree?. She pulled herself onto the apron, stepped into the ring and looked Alex up and down. They locked up, before she knew it Alex had her wrist, he had ducked under and spun around behind her. He wrenched her arm up into a hammerlock, Alicia tried everything, she tried to turn into it, Alex moved his legs to the outside, she tried to duck under and grab his leg, Alex stepped back. Alicia was frustrated, she was panicked. And then it happened. She threw her arm back, connecting with the side of Alexs head, he was off balance, Alicia spun, wrapped her legs around his and took him down with a drop toe hold.
It was basic. But it was effective.
Alicia got to her feet and stepped back as Alex smirked and stood up with a nod. ”Not bad. Considering you’ve been doing this six months, maybe less.” How did he know?. Alicia looked confused as Alex slowly leaned back on the top rope. ”Keep it up, don’t quit. Your effort, everything you’ve done...it hasn’t been unnoticed. Good luck...I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again.” He held out his hand, Alicia took it and as Alex slid from the ring Alicia couldn’t help but smile.
The easy way
”I sit on a gilded throne…”
Her voice was soft, low but still audible. A small exhale followed as Alicia tilted her head sideways. Her long hair flowing down her back and shoulders from under a black bandana. A small flash of a smile betrays her true feelings and intentions. Bubbling beneath the surface, beneath the smiline, the painted red lips and the youthful looks was an anger and frustration. A self loathing feeling buried deep in her stomach. Anger at herself. Frustration at her failures.
And also, anger at how the story was unfolding, frustrations of a forced narrative.
Alicia sat with the light off, her hands clasped together, her legs crossed under her body. She moved her head sideways staring down at the light coming from her phone, the record light was on, she knew she had to say something, anything. But fort the first time in her life, the former champion and dominant force was speechless. She had nothing prepared. Nothing in her mind. No sheet full of statistics and facts ready to be read from to prove her points. This was an unprepared Alicia.
Time to speak from the heart….
”If you believe what some say about me, I am a pampered prissy little diva. Handed opportunities and titles based on my looks and my ability to politically maneuver myself into positions of power. Talking my way into people's minds and bringing them down to the point of failure. So that before the match even happens I have already won half the battles before the war. I have this ability to twist and turn facts into my favour, to verbally dress down people and break them into a million little pieces. So before I even step into the ring with them, they are broken, battered, bruised. Their egos, destroyed and their self confidence eaten and digested.”
“Part of that is true. Part of it is a game plan. But at the same time, there are a lot of misconceptions. And I’m going to prove, right now, that there is nothing, any of you can say about me, this is as bad as the truth. And as horrible as my story and past.”
“They think I had it easy….and members of my family..well they really did…”
“My mother, grew up into a family of money. She was a pretty little bird in a cage. Given all she ever wanted and desired by a doting mother and father. They spoiled her, showed her with gifts, affection and words of affirmation and all she had to do to keep her position was do all they wanted. And for twenty two years, that's what she did. All thew way till she met my father. Jason Maxwell. A seven foot tall, blonde haired blue eyes mound of muscle, a former college star football player turned wrestler. And...cupid struck…”
“My mother and father had five years together, three children and a lifetime of anger, regret and blame.”
Alicia’s nostrils flared, her heart sank as she talked about dear old daddy, she looked over at a picture of him, from his younger days. His long hair flipped to one side, a grin on his face, his hands up and a two sweet sign flashed. She shook her head and buried the anger down.
”My mother took the easy way out. Instead of sticking with my dad, following him so myself, Josh and Zoey could know him, she went back to her parents, to the money, to the easy life. Great role model eh?. But of course, I’ve had it easy to right?. I got to grow up with my grandparents' money and take the easy way too. I took the easy way out when at sweet sixteen I was set up with one of my grandfather's friends' sons. I took the easy way out when by 18 I had two sons and I was a teenage mother living off my very very abusive boyfriends dime…”
“And I certainly took the EASY way out when I stood in the bathroom, looking over a sink filled with hot water and a goddamn razor in my hand. I took the easy way out when I made the decision to get out of the country in the middle of the night, go to Japan with twenty five dollars to my name. I had it EASY getting my head kicked in every damn day in Tokyo. I had it easy coming back to the states, falling into abusive relationship after relationship because of my own mistakes, having to earn back my kids trust and also finding my father only to lose him to a goddamn heart attack just after I got married…”
“Explain, explain to me how any of that...was easy….”
“I don’t tell you all this because I want to be looked at as a pariah or have people feel sorry for me. I’m telling you this because I want the reality to sink in. Into every single one of you. That there is nothing you can say to me or about me that is in any way, shape or form worse than what I have gone through or thought about myself in the past. See, real power is being able to look at your past, and not let it repeat itself. Because time, history and actions...all move in a cycle. And to be able to break that cycle, well, that shows true spirit and power…”
She nods slowly and sighs deep, her anger still bubbling unjust under the surface, her mind focusing from herself and the admissions of her own shortcomings to that of the future. And her showdown with Evie Jordan, and the championship she wants so desperately in her hands again.
”This entire story, the whole narrative is built behind arrogance. But, it’s the wrong type of arrogance. See, everything, from the attitude of those around me, to the backstage officials and their talk, all the way to the synopsis leading into my and Evie’s match this coming Sunday is all predicated on the belief that I think Evie didn’t beat me at Summer XXXtreme. That I believe that title still belongs to me. And Sin City Wrestling is putting words in my mouth.”
“Go back and listen to what I said before Summer XXXtreme. I told Evie she needed to validate her championship reign and show us all that the win over Andrea wasn’t a fluke. I told her that beating myself and Andrea was the key to restoring honor and prestige to that championship. And, that is all I wanted. The two ways that the title was going to become what it needed to be and find its way back to the main event as the crown jewel of wrestling was either by being in my hands at the end of the night, or by Evie Jordan beating me, and walking out as champion…”
“That is how you fix the title, that is how you remind everyone what that title means after the clusterfuck of what Roxi, Christina and Andrea did to it.”
“But, I didn’t say Evie had to PIN me or make ME tap to beat me. Now, the entire wrestling world is patting us all on the back for the match we had at Summer XXXtreme and so they should. We went in there and we put it all on the line and at the end of the night Evie walked out holding that title high. She deserves to be celebrated for that, she deserves her time in the sun and her time to gloat and stamp her feet and proclaim that she is the best professional wrestler in the bombshells division because two weeks ago on the cruise ship…”
“She proved it….”
“Evie Jordan is the champion, Evie Jordan is the best and Evie Jordan can scream it from the rooftops and now, well now it’s up to me to prove her wrong and to take that title and indeed the throne back. And there’s all this talk about how I wasn’t “beaten” at Summer XXXtreme and it would be so EASY to play into that. It would be easy for me to stroke ,my own ego, to look into the little camera on my iPhone ands record and scathing, arrogant self righteous promo and tell you all how it was a fluke and that one on one she can’t beat me and all the things I’m sure so many of you thought you’d hear from me…”
She leans forward, her voice softens, all the anger has been released, the frustration thrown out for the world to see and hear. Her body language relaxing as her shoulders drop and her breathing returns to normal, the bubbling fire setting aside to her own realisation in the face of admissions of guilt and failure.
”Evie Jordan can beat me, she had beaten me. And this week you should all tune in, but not because I can guarantee I will walk out as champion. You should all watch...cause I CAN’T guarantee it...and that...that should excite you….Evie..lets go to war…”
