If you try to see looking through your sleeve
You don't have to be afraid
But if you try to clean with kerosene
You'll burn away (burn away)
You roll the dice to see your fate
The devil always wins the game
”You’re better off with throwing grenades”
She was speechless. Normally when getting ready to cut a promo Sierra had it planned out. She knew what she was going to do, she knew what she was going to say. But this time it was blank. She let out a small sigh and sat forward, her arms wrapping around her legs pulling them to her chest as her long red hair moved in the light breeze..
”It was supposed to be this way. You know this tournament is so unpredictable. It’s an unpredictable format inside a sport and event that is already hard to predict. So to sit here and say I knew what was going to happen is just a lie. And honestly it’s the story of my professional wrestling life. And in my life in general. See, I’ve always been attracted to people that would be unstable. Carter, Mikhail, Equinox, Wulf. They were all destructive in certain ways and I let it happen. And it impacted my life inside the ring…”
She sighed, her eyes trailing over the area right in front of her. She was being honest, heartfelt and laying it all out there. She wasn’t wearing makeup, no tight jeans or band shirts, no bandana over her hair or over her face. No angry scowling.. This wasn’t even Sierra Williams. This was Sierra Leann Patricia Lopez.
”And that is why I am so thankful for Lachlan. He brought stability and love to my life. He brought me back from the brik=nk and made me recapture my smile and my happiness. And it’s no wonder that his impact on me pushed me towards my first real success. I went from being a contender in companies like WWH and DIVISION to being a CHAMPION in Sin City Wrestling. And truth be told, without him I don’t think any of this would have happened. But, that can only take me so far and while I have the talent, the drive and the support system there is one thing. ONE THING, that has stopped me from being able to climb any of the title mountains I have tried….my own attitude…”
She paused again, her hands clasping together as she takes a long drawn out breath, her head shakes side to side as she can’t help but laugh, thinking about the things she’s done and said. The wars she’s been through, the losses, the wins and how she took them and moved on.
”I know I’m good. I know I can get in that ring and mix it up with anyone. I think I proved that against Seleana, against Roxi, against Kate and even Bobbie. I have proved to0 each and every one of you that Sierra Williams isn’t a joke. But I haven’t proved to any of you that I deserve to be a champion because to be honest….I haven’t acted like one. I have sat back and acted like a spoiled brat and in doing so I poisoned Lachlan. He started acting more like me, getting angry and forgetting what made him special and I thought he was getting more aggressive which...at the time...I will admit….”
“I found sexy…”
“But, his love for this business, his love for what we do and that light that I saw in his eyes when he would even look at a fucking wrestling ring started to fade and that was MY fault. It was MY influence. And it impacted us both. I’m not going to let it happen again. I need to change my attitude and be more like Lachlan. And now?, well now I have that chance, because I have been handed a second one in this tournament….”
Sierra pushed off the stairs to her feet, her hands moving across her own body as she leaned over against the bannister of her home, a long sigh escaping her lips.
”There’s so many variables in this. So many weird moments. See I was put into a team with Hitamashi and I thought he would be a good partner and hey, in that match. He tried. But look at all those moving parts. I was angry, he tried hard, Aron looked like a lost puppy, Mavis was distracted by her family and in the end Fenris got involved...and I could feel cheated. I could be angry and in the hours after that match. I was. I was angry, I was frustrated. I wanted to punch something over and over again but then as the anger subsided I thought to myself. What if this is Karma?. What if my anger and lashing out at people had made me unworthy? What if the anger I felt stopped me from realising my potential. And then the anger was just replaced by sadness. And guilt. I swallowed all my pride and just got back to training. Waiting for my next shot to come, not knowing that it was on it’s way.”
“Brooke Saxon, a woman who I never actually worked for since I didn’t come from Honor like all the other signees who came on at the same time as me contacted SCW and I got put in her place. A second chance. A chance to make things right not only in this tournament but also against the two people who had beaten myself and Hitamashi.”
“Of course. With this new chance comes a new partner…”Sierra swallows hard and rolls her eyes.”And I want to give Teddy a chance. I want to believe he will have my back and hold up his end of the bargain. But his comments and actions over the last few months have left a lot to be desired. He has said and done things that have dispariaged the Bombshells roster and made them all angry and frustrated. In fact I think all of us. Including his wife, have wanted to take a fucking swing at him..”
Sierra shrugs and tries to stay calm.
”I hope Teddy and I can work together in this. Because there are many great teams still in this tournament. Aside from Mavis and Aron, we have Tallyn and Jack Washington, Evie and Mark Cross and of course Austin and Candy. That is alot of talent still in this tournament and if Teddy and I are going to win and go on to get shots at the World and Bombshells titles we need to work together. Least of all because I know what our opponents are capable of.”
“See, Aron is a rookie, we all know it but there is talent there. And drive. And truth be told Aron, I feel bad for you. You wanted to make a splash, you wanted to break out on your own and show just how much you’ve learned. Only for your brother to get involved. And trust me, I know how frustrating that can be. I have three brothers, two older and one younger. All wrestlers. So I get it, having brothers in the business is a pain in the ass. But you, not me, not SCW, YOU need to go to Fenris and tell him to back the fuck off. Cause he is doing more harm than good. Now you and your position in this tournament will be held into question. It is upto you to fix it. If you can keep him away, if you can step back up and show the world you belong here and can somehow win this thing, then more power to you.”
“Don’t let your brother ruin it…”
“Just like Mavis needs to control her family. See, Mavis had the other side of it, they almost cost her the match and I know what some of you are thinking, that could work in my favor so why the hell should I care right?. The answer is simple. I don’t ever want to win that way. If I win a match, whether it’s one on one or a multi person or a mixed tag match I want it to be because I was the better woman on the night. I want it to be because I was the best of the best and I earned it. And earning it against Mavis?m well that would be amazing. Not just because...as much as I hate to admit it, Mavis and the rest of her family are talented but because she seems to think she’s a comedian.”
Sierra smirks and leans down picking up a Taco bell cup filled with delicious Baja Blast.
”You think it was funny to make fun of my little mental breakdown?. Because I doubted myself so much I would consider going back to work at Taco bell? Which by the way I showed was never a reality by going out to an SCW ring and running my mouth. But, I get it Mavis, you have to take every little advantage you can get in the mental game. But, I can’t help but notice you didn’t care that Fenris handed you and Aron a win over myself and Hitamashi. You didn’t protest or care when something was literally handed to you on a silver platter. But this is my second chance Mavis, my chance to make it right and to try and claw my way back up to that title. To earn a shot at Christina Rose or whoever the champion will be at the end of all this. And trust me when I say that no amount of insulting comedy it going to stop me from doing everything in my power to walk away with my hand held high…”
Je suis ta fin
Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada
2 Years Ago
Each shot hit with all the power she had. There was no holding back. No thought of preservation of energy. The sweat ran down her face as her long black hair stayed tied back. Sierras feet danced along the hardwood floor as the heavy black bag swung from the ceiling. Her hands wrapped in black and gold boxing wraps as they moved at blinding speeds, she didn’t even know how long she’d been there for. How long she’d moved and darted and weaved. After a few more shots she stepped back and launched a kick slamming her shin bone into the leather causing a dent to form in it.
Sierra ground her teeth together, the anger rising deep in her stomach as she looked out the large window looking out onto the streets of Thunder Bay. For the last year she had called this home. A place at one point she wanted to desperately escape from. Growing up here to a French-Canadian mother and a Mexican-American father was hard enough but having to come back here after trying to hard to leave and make a life in the big bad world was almost humiliating. She loved the reason for it. Falling pregnant with Wulf’s baby last year. After losing her daughter Jade to her ex, after he used the court system against her with his lies. Sierra thought she’d never be happy. But five months ago with the birth of Olivia she was happy….
Was...happy…
The last few months the itch had returned. At first Sierra went to the gym to stay in shape. To simply get back the body she once had and stay active. But after a month the strength returned and after watching wrestling on TV for the first time in a year it happened. She had the urge, the need, the desire. As she watched people she had beaten rise up and others stay stagnant the anger kept bubbling to the surface. Things were not good at home. She loved Olivia, she loved Wulf. but there was something missing. And now. Well, now she knew she was coming back. Signing a contract to go back to work. Behind Wulfs back.
Sierra walked over to the workout bench, her hands shaking as the feeling set in. Her joints ached. Her muscles stiffened. Her body racked with pain. But she felt alive for the first time in a year. Her hand drifting over her stomach wondering if she really had it anymore. As she stuffed her gear in her back she pulled out her phone. 10 missed calls. 5 voicemails. 25 texts. All from Wulf. She shook her head knowing what it was about.
He had been alone with Olivia.
Wulf was a great and crazy wrestler, a wonderful boyfriend, but as a father he left a lot to be desired. He felt overwhelmed and out of his element. Sierra would go to the gym, much like today and after only an hour he would panic. She sighed and walked into the locker area to get changed as she set her back down. Her phone making the message tone again as Wulf asked yet another stupid question. Sierra growled and slammed the locker door shut, her fist pushing against the flimsy metal leaving a dent. Sierra turned and sat down, her head in her hands as she took a few deep breaths. She didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to face it. And that made her feel like a bad person.
She reached into her bag and the sound of rattling was heard as she pulled out a pill bottle. She had been prescribed them but had still yet to take them. Her stomach seemed to tie itself in knots as her mind flashed back to her past. Where she had come from and the trials she had been through. Her drug addiction, losing her oldest daughter, the premature birth of Olivia. Her struggle to get back into shape and want to wrestle. All of it seemed to much. Maybe the pills would help?. Maybe they would set her free. She shook her head and placed them back in her bag getting to her feet sending a quick message back to Wulf giving him advice and promising she’d be home soon.
Home….
Later that week.
There was silence between them. As it had been for months. Since Olivia had come into this world they had both grown distant and apart. Wulf seemed to love his daughter but hate the responsibility. He was a free spirit, used to being able to just chase shiny things like a dog wandering the world. But here, and now he had to grow up. He was young, much younger than Sierra at 22, she was 26 and had been through so much already. And strangely it was the free spirit that she now hated that caused her to fall in love with him over a year ago.
When they met Sierra was broken. Two bad relationships, Carter and Mikhail had broken her. Another relationship she ruined with Equinox. It was Wulf’s sweet, free, fun nature that had helped her see the life she wanted. Or rather she thought she wanted. But now a year and some change since they got together Sierra found herself sitting at the kitchen table at their home, their daughter asleep in her crib. And the silence was thick between them. Wulf seemed tired, spent and almost resentful. Sierra was the same way. The bright spot of the last few months being Olivia’s birth, but in the last three Sierra had become a different person..
She had a need.
A need to compete.
Wulf looked across the table at her and went to open his mouth but stopped, almost as if he had a question and was afraid of the answer. His green eyes darted away and back down at his plate, the vegetables half eaten and cold as Sierra slowly cut into her steak, the blood from it pooling across the white porcelain. And there was a problem. Despite their love for one another Wulf was a very different person to her.
He was a vegetarian, he was a thrill seeker, he saw wrestling as a thrill, as something cool to do. Like a hobby. Sierra needed protein, she loved steak, she saw wrestling as her calling and had very little tolerance or patience for people who didn’t see it the same way as her. She loved being a mother but hated staying at home. Wulf has also failed to keep the money coming in, instead spending his days flipping through magazines.
Sierra’s heart sank. Is this what her world had become?. Is this what she was to feel for the rest of her life?. He was a good father, she knew it in her heart, She saw it every time he picked her up and smiled. He felt it when Olivia would smile and laugh at her crazy fathers dreadlocks and grin. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what she needed or wanted. And both were miserable. Sierra closed her eyes and looked to the side as Wulf tried to make eye contact. His voice stuttered as he went to ask a question, one Sierra was not expecting. ”Si, are you seeing someone else?”
She looked up, her neck almost snapping up with anger as her brown eyes burned. How could he ask that. Her hands slowly closed into fists as she grew so mad she let out a nervous laugh, her body almost shaking as she tried to keep herself contained and calm. She took a few deep breaths as her teeth ground together, as as her eyes opened Wulf looked at her, hurt and wanting, needing to know. Sierra gave a small shake of her head and scoffed.”Seeing someone else?. Why would you ask me that?. Do you think so little of me that because things are rough I would just go turn my back on you?. Like a common whore?. Like the other five hundred women in this business?...” Her words spat like venom. Wulf put his head down in thought realising her anger and her hurt reflected his.
Sierra stood up as she finished her foot cleaning off her plate, her hands sore, her body in pain after working out all day to get back into ring shape, to try and get her life back. She was now close to being in better shape before she left, before she fell pregnant with their child over a year ago. Her mind still racked with guilt after finding out she was 8 weeks pregnant a week after her final match. Wulf stood up, he moved across the room putting his plate down on the counter, his hands slowly moving across her midsection, he held her tight, Sierra didn’t show him a drop of affection, instead going about her business cleaning. Wulf moved around and pushed his body against the bench with a sigh.
” So, where have you been going?”Sierra tilted her head sideways, if looks could kill Wulf would have been on the floor, dead and gasping for air. She finished the plate and pushed it to the side before slowly looking in Wulfs eyes.” I’ve been at the gym. I’ve been getting back in ring shape, cause while you sit on your ass and plan your skydiving and bungie jumping, I need to make money...and I miss it Wulf...I miss it all and I am so sick of this...awkward bullshit…”.
She waited for him to say something. Anything. The silence stayed between them as Wulf seemed to be gobsmacked and surprised. A shock over him as he seemed to shut down, his arms folded over his chest as he sighed and stared at the floor. Sierra’s eyes begged for him to understand, to hate it, for something other than quiet indignation. She swallowed hard and gave a nod before slowly walking past him and out the door, Wulf staying silent as the door shut behind her.
