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13 Years. That’s how long I’ve done this. How long I’ve traveled the world and put my body on the line. And in that time I have climbed my way to the top of many different companies. I’ve pushed and scraped and clawed past and over so many people to get what I want. But one title has eluded me.The SCW championship.
Every other company I have been in bar one I held some form of championship.
When I was a kid, and I would sit there and watch wrestling it was an escape. I didn’t have a terrible life growing up. Sure I had obstacles. I had demons. I had parents who would rather step on my dreams than nurture them but who didn’t?. I’m not one to sit around and tell the woe is me story of my youth.
As I got older life did get harder. More complex and complicated. My father died and I had to come home. I chased my dream here in the United states after I had already forged a life outside it. I had been in the UK, Japan, Mexico. All before I turned 20. I knew what love was and I felt it slip through my fingers due to the loyalty I had for my family. The responsibility of becoming the man of the house at a young age…
And I failed…
I knew I had dreams I knew I wanted to follow them but I didn’t fully understand that my dreams, my future would also impact my younger brother and his wants and needs. I didn’t see any of it coming because deep down I resented my mother, my sister and my brother. I resented them because I had made a life. I resented them because at the age of 19 I had already broken the bonds that kept me home and then two short years later I got dragged back in…
I felt trapped, I felt handcuffed to an ideal. And because of that anger and youthful foolishness I didn’t see it coming. I could have stopped it….I could have done something. But as the years went on and I felt confident leaving, as I met other people that would forge my own legacy with me I became blinded. I became distant. And that’s when my dreams and my aspirations cost me something that I would never get back.
Family…
Losing a father or mother is one thing. They’re elders, even if you lose them at a young age it’s still expected that you will outlive them. But to lose someone so young needlessly. Well that is what can destroy someone’s heart. If I had left a piece of my heart in England with my first love, the rest of it died and turned to ash when he died.
Gone too soon
Off Camera
Dallas Texas
10 Years Ago
Her voice was frantic on the end of the line. My sister Charlie, she was upset and panicking. I could hear it in her voice as she tried to explain what was in front of her. I could barely make out anything she was able to get out. “D-dylan he’s not moving, Alex he’s not moving or breathing, what do I do?” I could tell she was crying as each word seemed more like a scream or a breathless squeak. I kept the phone close to my ear as I steered, my car speeding down the highway.
“You need to hang up on me and call an ambulance Charlie, you need to get someone there but keep him on his side. I’m almost home. I swerved in and out of traffic trying to keep myself calm and my sister calm all while not crashing my car. I heard the beeps and the yelling of people as I passed them and cut them off. My heart started racing as I hung up. What had Dylan taken?. Was he going to be alright?. How would Charlie recover from seeing our younger brother motionless on the floor?.
I turned the corner into our street, the brakes screeching to a halt as I kicked the door open slamming it behind me, I made it inside before any medical personnel, I stormed into the bathroom and found them. Dylan was pale, clammy and not moving, Charlie was shaking, her hands cradling his head as she looked up at me, her eyes pleading for my help. I stood there for a few moments taking it all in, I swallowed hard and everything went to a blur.
I didn’t even hear their voices as the paramedics pushes passed me. They asked all sorts of questions, ones neither myself or Charlie had the answers too. I couldn’t move, I was like stone, no emotions, no sounds. Just me staring at the floor watching them try and work on my brother’s limp, lifeless body. Charlie was the opposite, she was loud, she was screaming. She was a ball of energy begging them to help him, to stop him from leaving us. She got up and stood in front of me, her eyes filled with tears as she clung to my shirt. It was instinct that I put my arms around her, I pulled her out of the bathroom into the hall where we waited. It seemed like an eternity but in reality it had only been minutes. But it was too late...he was gone.
The days seemed to move fast, in and out as we planned for his funeral. It rained that day. Dylan loved the rain. I remember standing on the lush green grass of the cemetery, staring at the dark brown box that my baby brother's body was in. I hadn’t been able to cry. My mother, my sister, Dylan's friends. They all wept. I stood at the side, my hand on my mothers shoulder as she sobbed and wailed. I stood like stone, my jaw clenched together.
They lowered him down to the ground, I watched as it disappeared six feet down, the priest said a few words, My sister read a poem. And it was over. He was gone and I felt nothing. I wanted to, I needed to. But nothing came. Everyone left. Everyone but Charlie. She had waited till the very end with me. I wondered why. Why hadn’t she gone home with our mother?. Why had she stayed with me?. Then it all became clear as she walked up behind me.
“You should of done something.” Her voice was shaky and unsure. Her eyes hidden under a pair of black sunglasses. I stayed facing his grave. “He looked up to you, he was in trouble Alex.” She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. Dylan was closest to Dad, he only knew the dying alcoholic who wanted to make things right with his kids. Dylan never remembered the cruel asshole that terrorised Charlie and myself.
“When Dad died he needed you, and even though you stayed….you were never really here.” She was right. Of course. I had decided to stay after our father had passed but I never really accepted it. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t cry, why I couldn’t just let go. Because deep down I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t earn the closure. I turned my head to Charlie as she stepped around to face me. Before I could open my mouth I felt it, a slap, her huge hand connecting with the side of my face.
Charlie was only a little shorter than me, and almost as strong. She had trained hard the last few years, we all did. But I never kept an eye on Dylan like she did. But he never listened to mom, or her. “It was your fault….you didn’t see it, or you did and you just didn’t care…” She brushed past me and said nothing else. I didn’t argue, I couldn’t. In my heart I knew she was right.
Him Again?
On Camera
New York, New York
Present Day
” I almost quit you know?. It’s not that Griffin Hawkins is a bad wrestler, or that I didn’t think you could ever beat me. But there comes a time when you just have to wonder, is it worth it? Are you the same performer that you used to be? Or have your best days slowly slipped through your fingers like sand? That is the question that I’ve had on my mind for the last month, before that it was just a whisper just a few small words in my mind but over time it’s gotten louder and louder and now seems like a yell and a scream”
Alex sighs and clasps his hands together, his thumbs resting under his chin as he stares forward. This moment seemed to be an honest one. A moment where Alex is reflecting on himself, the past, his future and just what it means for him to be in Sin City Wrestling.
” my time in sin city wrestling has been frustrating. I have watch friends and students become so much more than me. Austin has come so far, he went from someone who had held a few championships and had that untapped potential that everyone could see to realising that potential and becoming the world champion here and beating the best of the best. Alicia was always a talent and she’s just continued her dominance in winning ways here just like she did it every single other company she has ever stepped foot in.”
“But there is the frustrating part. I have been dominant everywhere I’ve gone, I have become a champion I have always risen to the top. But here it seems that the progression has been altered. I have not been able to get the same amount of momentum I have not been able to beat the people who are normally would have beaten. I went toe to toe with Fenris and even though I felt like we were equals, he was still able to beat me. And that I can handle.A loss to someone like Fenris, a loss to someone like Griffin, help even losing the blast from the past.”
“These are all things that I can stomach as a professional wrestler. But the thing that really eating at me, the thing that really just getting to me and is killing me deep down in the pit of my stomach? Well it’s a loss to someone like Bill Barnhart”
His hands go from cradling his face to balled into fists. His eyes spark with an anger and a frustration that is rarely seen in a seasoned veteran like Alex Jones. He pushes his way to his feet, he steps towards the window of his office at the gym looking out at all the fresh faced hopefuls working out and learning. His arms fold over his chest as a sigh passes his lips and he tries to calm himself down.
”It was the end of last year, Bill and I faced off, And I actually let him get to me. If you go back and watch his promo listen to the words he said against me, saying that I should be used to losing, going over his history in this business and being told that one point he was asked to take a dive and he walked out and he was never going to do it against me. First off that implies that someone asked you to take a dive against me that would never happen. And second off I have a better winning percentage in SCW than you Bill.”
“But, regardless of any facts that I can come up with your still going to stand there and be completely moronic in anything you say or do but this time I’m not gonna let it get to me bill. This time I’m not gonna listen to anything that you’ve had to say I’m gonna go in with a fresh mind because the truth is I am better than you and I know it. I have been at this almost as long as you and I’m damn good at it. I have won more championships and I can count and I have been world champion over and over again, I have been the face of a company , have been the most important person in the company, I have been the man around here for so fucking long that I have felt pressure on my shoulders“
“But you Bill? What have you done in this company?. Or any company that actually matters?”
“You want to talk about the things that I have apparently have failed to do that I apparently only lose. What have you done. You’ve got under my skin and put me off my game and you were able to beat me congratulations but if you think for one goddamn second that it’s going to go down the exact same this time? Then you are dumber than you look, and dumber than your stupid fucking bulldog.”
Alex spits his words like venom, he backs up a little and slowly smiles calming himself down.
”This week at climax control I get to rewrite history and avenge a miscarriage of justice. I get to go face-to-face with you again and this time beat you and prove once and for all that I am better than you and what happened between us last year was a fluke. I should be facing the best of the best in this company. I should be at the top. But I have over thought everything I have let myself get put down and I’ve let myself become what I hate.”
“It’s not gonna happen this time though Bill. You didn’t deserve to beat me you didn’t deserve to get that when you don’t deserve to be able to have that little thing in your back pocket when you get to say “ yeah well I beat Alex Jones”. The fact you’ve beaten me makes me sick to my stomach and makes me feel lower than I have ever felt before I should not be looked at in the same vain as people like Caleb fucking storms I should be looked at in the same vein as Ben Jordan, Austin James Mercer and Fenris.”
“I’m not just coming to beat you Bill. I’m coming to hurt you.“
