Senor Vinnie productions presents: The Vinnie Blast to SCW’s Past……
The shot opens with Senor Vinnie sitting in his hotel room in Cardiff, Wales. Trying to read a Welsh Sports section in the local newspaper. But the look on his troubled face does tell us that he has issues understanding what it is all about… or something completely different of course. But let us all find out shall we???
Senor Vinnie: Tell me Pete, I thought they all just talked English on this odd island. But what is this kind of language???
Silence
Senor Vinnie: What do you mean that they also have their own language? Are you telling me that these people are bilingual??
He scratches his head before placing the newspaper down at an article about the National Rugby team, a sport that is rather popular in the entire United Kingdom as well in Wales.
Senor Vinnie: These people do sure have weird hobbies, I mean seriously. You use a pitch where they play a sport apparently called football. They add two huge poles on either side of the pitch and then they hire a ball from the NFL, yet don’t have the money to buy real protective gears. You know like a helmet and shoulder pads.
Silence
Senor Vinnie: What do you mean that this isn’t the NFL?? My 120 year old blind granny can see that!! It’s what they call the minor leagues no??
Silence
Senor Vinnie: What’s that for a foolish name?? Rugby?? They don’t have a rug to hide anything beneath it!! And why do they throw the ball behind them?? I mean seriously?? It’s already dangerous to drive a car on this entire island, let alone being on a football pitch with rabid, toothless, half a brain capacity thinking team running after you to drop you with a tackle? Nah ah, us Mexicans prefer real sports!! Like checkers and chess, or even the Olympic sports of Pinata punching
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I KNOW THAT IT ISNT AN OLYMPIC SPORTS!! But I have to do something to entertain myself on this terrible island of English talking, yet not one of them are an English Habitant?? Besides, why are they all combined the United Kingdom? Shouldn’t we not just call them UniKingdommer?
Silence
Senor Vinnie pouts his lip as he realizes that he had made an error before bursting out in laughter.
Senor Vinnie: Good one Pete!! The sheer thought that these lands on this Island are bond by one unity and that is the Queen?? Or whatever you tried to explain, I already dozed off after you tried to explain it to me. You are such a boring thing to listen to Pete, I mean seriously. Instead of me trying to get Mexicans interested in a game of Rugby. Merely so that US scouts can hire them for cheap labor?? And what about that wall that El Presidente Senor Donald is trying to have us built? I mean then you are stuck with a competition that cannot be legal across the border!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Fine!! But if I am going to get a lot of angry fan mails of young fans that were hoping to run up the Mexican green fields of grass for a game of Rugby, then I will tell them that it was YOU that turned their hopes and dreams into a complete nightmare!! All I have to ask you is whether you could live with that thought???
Silence
Senor Vinnie: You Can??? Oh okay, well then I suggest that when we are at the subject for the future…, then I want to alter the name of it all to Vinnie Ball….
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Si Pete, Vinnie ball. If you want to make something popular then at least attempt to make it entertaining, lots of music hitting from my very own personal musical archives as well that Senorita Valora West should have get the honorary seat and the best seat in the entire arena. Only to have me have the second best of corse.
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Fine!! I will discuss the Blast from the Past!! Why bring up old memories???
Silence
Senor Vinnie: OH great, I have to relive another beating against those who me and Senorita Amy have beaten???
Silence
Senor Vinnie: What do you mean I have to face the team of Jessie Salco and who?
Hi face lights up, suddenly as if he has seen stars.
Senor Vinnie: Andy GARCIA?
Senor Andy??? Oh my goodness!! I have to get my best suit for this one, I just love all of his movies. I remember how much I just loved his work as that ogre in Shrek. I …..
Silence
Senor Vinnie: What do you mean that Mike Meyers was the voice of Shrek?
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Of course!! You are absolutely right!! He played Moses on the classic Ten Commandments. You are absolutely right, this man is a….
Silence
Senor Vinnie face palms himself after hearing that he was wrong.
Senor Vinnie: DOH!! I forgot that when you put Andy at a certain light, that he looks just like Charlton Heston!!
Senor Vinnie is gloating from ear to earn, not believing his very own ears when facing a real movie star caliber opponent would a real super star out of him
Silence
Senor Vinnie’s eyes bulge out of his sockets
Senor Vinnie: What do you mean it’s Andrew Garcia and not Andy???
The world crumbles before his eyes as he finally realizes that it isn’t the actor that he will be facing, but veteran SCW wrestler Andrew Garcia. This causes him to roll his eyes as he realizes that who he is going to be facing along with Jessie Salco as he and Amy take them on.
Senor Vinnie: Great!!! Now I have to endure another boring promo, I once did endure the same thig with…. What’s his name again??
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Nah!! I will call him Larry though, that would make it much easier. Stupid Japaanese names!!! But the end result will be the same Andrew, the curtains will close and they will remain closed for an eternity. That’s right, you will not experience the final applause from the crowd, why?? Because you are just an average Joe… oh wait… average Andrew. It’s nice to see that you class your opponents in a fashion that losing for you has always been an option.
Yet I am a man that needs to win, that has to win. To beat the champion at the next show before cashing in the briefcase on Summer XXXtreme?? You know, the first ever one on one singles confrontation between champion and briefcase winner!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: SHUT IT PETE!! A man, why is it that you need to ruin it that it cannot happen?? Did you ask Chris Underwood?? Did you ask Mark?? No! because you are a coward man, you aren’t as strong as me and certainly not as smart as yours truly.
Senor Vinnie is gloating over the smart ass command that he has made
Senor Vinnie: You forget Senor, that I have class, sophistication and even the ability to come up with a trick or two Senor. I will be the Godfather part three pon your ass until the world will understand why I am the greatest thing to come out of your mouth in like when the color television was created. Nobody could afford it at the time and nobody can afford believing that you would amount to anything except their failure. So until then Senor…., I hope that you and Jessie will have some final few words of encouragement… because you two… are going to lose Senor…. Lose…
With at Senor Vinnies shot slowly fades
