The Royal Ontario Museum is not only a place to stop and visit, to appreciate the world of art, world culture and natural history, it is a museum renowned for being the largest in Canada, one of the largest in North America, and it attracts well over one million visitors a year! Yeah, that's right! A year! First opening in the year 1914, The Royal Ontario Museum is noted for it being one of the largest collections of dinosaurs, minerals and meteorites, art from Near Eastern, African and East Asia, European and Canadian history, 150,000 fossil specimens and an extensive collection of fine arts in the world of design and fashion, including product design, interior as well as clothing.
With more than six million items and forty galleries, the museum's diverse collections of world culture and natural history contribute to its international reputation. So it was only natural that you would find two such well bred young men like the Surf Boys wandering about, appreciating what this museum had to offer.
*tires screech*
*the sound of a record player scratching*
Excuse me? The Surf Boys?
You heard, er, read this right! The Surf Boys! Don't believe me? Well just take a gander at THIS!
The sound of something slapping against the tile floor of the museum was heard almost like gunshots, even when in the center of a crowded museum, filled to the brim of people seeking to further their intellect and expand their cultural horizons. It was the sound of sandaled feet making their way through the throngs of people in the vast interior of the expansive structure, more specifically, just inside of the Daphne Cockwell Gallery of Canada.
Sandaled feet attacked to tanned legs attached to Bermuda shorts attached to neon pink and blue tank tops, respectively -- attached to, well you get the idea! Narly and Radical! Heads turned from all around to catch a glimpse of this unusual sight for an even more unusual duo, but the former World Tag Team Champions were none the wiser. Their eyes were hidden behind pairs of dark shades and their scalps were covered with drink caps. For those unenlightened sorts, that meant baseball type caps with cup holders on each side and straws. Rather than cans of soda inserted into the holders of their respective caps, both Radical and Narly had drinking glasses inserted into theirs, with crazy straws in swirled form stretching from the colorful drinks to their lips while their eyes roamed the exhibits within.
Radical looked up at a statue of a pretty morose looking dude -- or dudette. Doncha hate that about art? Sometimes you couldn't tell if something was supposed to be a very masculine babe, or a very feminine looking dude bro! Sort of like taking a stroll in downtown San Fran!
Radical: Dude?
Narly: Cha?
Radical: What are we doing here? I mean, I know you 'rock, paper, scissor, Spock'd' your way to victory and got to choose what we did today...
Narly: That I did mi amigo cam padre!
Radical: But I thought that we'd be hitting that gnarly castle! Or perhaps find a place where we can have some fun in the sun and wind surf! Gotta be a beach somewhere with all this water! And I...
Radical turned his head and saw his buddy and tag partner Narly with his bottom lip jetted out and watery puppy dog eyes.
Radical: Not that this museum of whatchamacallits isn't the totally rockingest of museums that one could go to!
Narly: Yeah?
Radical: Yeah!
The two surfers jumped up and chest bumped, which also caused their heads (which were too close together) to knock together in a mutual head butt. They came back down to the floor on their feet and shook their rattled heads.
Narly: Whoa!
Radical: Far out that was, a cohesive head butt! You okay my coolest of all cool dudes?
Narly: Totally! I just hit my head. Totally nothing I was using any way!
Radical: Yeah, that's what I figured.
Narly nodded, then got a weirded out expression on his face and gave Radical the ol' shifty eyes before he shrugged it off. The two fun loving surfer dude bros then exited the gallery and walked up the ROM steps from the third level where they had been, heading toward the fourth.
Narly: Dude.
Radical: What?
Narly: Dude!
Radical: What!?
Narly: DUDE!
Radical: WHAT!?
Narly: Check it out!
Narly was pointing one way, and Radical was looking another. Narly was mesmerized by the display against the wall where the stairs led upstairs, at a toy exhibit of practically totally ancient jeeps and trucks and cannons and the like! Radical however was watching a most bodacious babe further of the steps, bending over to adjust her heel and a MAJOR glimpse of Victoria's Secret!
Narly: Look!
Radical: I'm looking! I'm looking!
Narly: You ever see anything so outrageous!?
Radical: Duuuuude! To the MAX!
The aforementioned young woman stood upright and moved on her way, leaving Radical quite deflated as his shoulders slumped and a mournful expression on his face. Narly turned around and blinked at his buddy's sudden downtrodden expression.
Narly: Dude! What is it!? Did your unmentionables bunch up again?
Radical: Naw. I'm not wearing any. Didn't want to take the risk. I just lost her forever.
Narly: Lost who?
Radical: The future Missus! We were going to be married in the Bahamas and live in the Caribbean and we were even going to adopt a Himalayan Whistle Kid from the same place Madonna shops for her loved ones.
Narly blinked and turned to look into the camera.
Narly: Why do I feel like I totally missed out on something grand?
Narly turned back and patted Radical on the shoulder.
Narly: Have no fear! There'll be other fish in the sea!
Radical: Yeah but that was so TOTALLY my brand of tuna!
Still not understanding, Narly helped to lead Radical further into the museum's upper echelon of bits and baubles, their hidden eyes roaming everywhere at the historical artifacts.
Radical: You still haven't explained to me why we're in a museum dude.
Narly: It's simple science! Nobody would expect it of us, so we go with the unexpected!
Radical: Well I can't argue with that logic. Even I didn't expect it!
Narly: Exactly! And if even we don't expect to do what we're going to do, how can anyone else?
Radical looked around as if seeking confirmation from someone else, anyone else, but saw none. He instead turned to the eager face of Narly and held up a forefinger, jaw open as if to speak. he paused, nodded, then agreed.
Radical: Yeah!
Narly: Just like the strategy we're planning for Violent Conduct when we get a shot at the belts!
Radical: Title shot!
The two happy go lucky surfers jump up and aim for a high five but perpetually miss once again and palm slap the other's forehead! They come crashing back down, and almost fell -- ALMOST -- but were used to this mishap often enough that they steadied themselves before taking a tumble.
Narly: Ow!
Radical: Not cool!
Together: But it was FUN!
They laughed and drew yet more stares before they moved on, continuing their chat.
Narly: So as I was saying, if we do the unexpected now, and do it then -- AND do it when you get to wrestle on your own this weekend...
Radical: I'm not wrestling on my own. There are three other dudes in that match! A Fourway! But not the fun and naughty Late Night HBO kind of Fourway!
Narly: Ah! True! But we'll confound them with our strategies and secrets going into that match! We're winners! We know what it's like to win! We're former Tag Champs!
Radical: The most RIGHTEOUS former Tag Champs of Champions!
Narly: Totally! And with or without me in your corner...
Radical whimpered and Narly patted him on the head.
Narly: I'll totally be in your corner!
Radical smiled and nodded, satisfied.
Narly: You'll be prepared for anything that comes your way from those three. Expect the unexpected!
Radical: But if they expect the unexpected, won't then the unexpected be the expected?
Narly's eyes grew wide and he waved a hand ala the Force in front of him.
Narly: Whoa! Cosmic!
Narly nodded to his partner.
Radical: You have a point main dude o' mine! There's no way Jamie Dean, Sammy McPherson or Jon Dough will be able to know what hit `em!
Radical leaned over to whisper his next question.
Radical: Why? What's gonna hit `em?
Narly turned his head so that he was nose to nose with Radical.
Narly: YOU are.
Radical turned his head away, wide eyed.
Radical: Whoooooah!
Their plans set in stone now, or at least in their heads (which were as hard as stone), the pair moved on as a casual conversation followed.
Radical: Does your drinks taste funny too or is it just me?
Narly: Cha! Those Long islanders make a funky iced tea!
