Twisted Sister: "Come play with meeeeee!"
Twisted Sister sat cross legged in the children's toy shop, her eyes glaring at the elaborate doll house on the table in front of her, Barbie's dream home. The toy playset and dolls accompanying it were mere displays to keep children occupied while their parents took on more important matters in shopping, and here she was; a fully grown woman with a manic mind that bordered on maniacal ... psychotic ...
Okay, let's be honest here. The woman was a nutcase! And a lethally dangerous one at that! A woman who had attacked her SCW opponents in the past with such implements as a chainsaw, a steam iron .. and a cordless mixer? Kind of made one wonder what would be in store for her upcoming opponent, Polly Playtime, when in Vancouver this Sunday, does it not?
Twisted Sister smiled, her eyes wide with girlish delight, as she had a Barbie in a swimsuit, or if you asked her, a wrestling outfit, 'dance' across the table en route to her 'dream home'.
Twisted Sister: "Hi! My name is Polly Playtime! And I'm here to sing and to dance and to make everyone LOVE me!"
Twisted Sister then took another doll from behind the doll house, this one from the Jem doll line so the 'punk look' made it more so resemble herself.
Twisted Sister: "Hi, Polly! I'm your opponent! And I don't like you!"
Twisted Sister took the 'punk doll' and slapped it against the Barbie, knocking it down onto the table in a heap. Swift as the wind, she then took a meat cleaver from beneath the table and brought it down onto the Barbie/Polly doll, decapitating it at the neck! Twisted Sister rocked back, her head tilted back as far as it could go while she cackled loudly.
Twisted Sister: "Don't lose your head, Polly! DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD!"
Quickly, Doctor Kraven Moorehead hurries onto the scene.
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Come, my dear! I believe it's time we go before we wear out our welcome!"
And he hurried Twisted Sister off screen as she continued to shriek and laugh.
Doctor Kraven Moorehead's professional diagnosis:
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Polly Playtime. A most .. unusual name. If I didn't know any better, I would imagine you named yourself after some manner of doll toyline from the 1980's, or perhaps the 1990's. I did a bit of research, a whimsy, if you will indulge me. The most notable of dolls, the same of which you previously saw with my client, a Polly Pocket. You do bare a striking resemblance to that toy, I must say. Is that where you got your name, I wonder? Is this namesake due to your cherubic appearance, much like a porcelain doll of old?"
"That is not an insult, mind you, my dear. No it is merely a manner of my attempting to try and understand who you are as a person, and as a competitor against my patient, coupled with a compliment, I admit. You do have the appearance of a doll, I must admit, but there is something about you that tells me that appearances where you are regarded can be quite deceptive."
"I would hazard a guess that when inside of the ring, you will be anything but a doll in nature. You imagine that your opposition would look upon you and believe that since you look soft, that is also how you do battle. Soft. Without much offense, if any. You think they'll see a woman, more so a girl, who is inside of the sport of wrestling as a means to an end, perhaps work your way from the ring and to the silver screen like others before you; such as the Rock and Jesse Ventura. And when that opponent makes such a foolish assumption, you strike. You show yourself to be a deceptively clever and capable fighter, and before the opponent realizes their own folly, you have your arm raised in victory."
"Is that it, Miss Playtime? For if it is, I must commend you for the effort going into your official debut. Yet I also must forewarn you that the attempt will be wasted when you find yourself facing Twisted Sister inside of the ring. You see, in the past Twisted Sister has faced a great many opponents of varying varieties. It did not matter to her if they were big or little, pretty or repulsive. To her, it was the same. She would simply tear into them with the same gleeful abandon that a child might a gift on Christmas morning. And if she looks at you and sees a toy, such will be the pity for you because Twisted Sister has an unfortunate habit of breaking her toys."
"Good day to you."
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