[Steve Ramone]

 Just when you thought that Steve’s antics couldn’t get more ridiculous now that he’s been reinstated by the company he’s gone and upped the ante, however this time his antics, in the form of mock presidential campaign videos, have one goal in mind, getting Steve title shots.

And this week on Climax Control he has just that, he is teaming up SCW veteran Joshua Acquin to take on the Rebels on a Rampage for the SCW Tag Team Titles and if you asked Steve he’s the champion the fans deserve, whether or not he can actually back those words up in the ring on Sunday is another question entirely but there’s no denying Joshua’s talents in the ring either, real question is, can he win?

Carthage ruins, Tunis, Tunisia
Friday the 22nd of May 2015, 11:00am

So much history in a small portion of this massive city.

Yeah, you saw the vid and trust me, there’s more to come, I’ve taped two sets of videos for my little campaign, for when I am champion and for when I am chasing after a title but I may have to start doing the latter soon as I am teaming up with the Sin City Nightmare himself Joshua Acquin to take on the Rebels on a Rampage for the tag team titles.

Why they decided to give me a tag team title shot instead of a Roulette Title shot is beyond me because I mentioned wanting to challenge for the Roulette Title specifically but I’ll take what I can get even if it means teaming up with an idiot.

So yeah, I’m at the Carthage ruins and anyone who knows me knows that I am a Roman History buff, in fact so is Cyrus, so what’s Carthage you ask? Well you may have heard about them through the Punic Wars, there were three in total and Carthage was the aggressor in the first two but it’s really the second instalment that everyone remembers, why?

Hannibal Barca.

What? Did you think the filmmakers behind The Silence of the Lambs made up the name Hannibal because it sounded cool? Well the real life Hannibal was a military genius who had managed several crushing defeats against Rome to the point where Roman families would warn disobeying children that Hannibal was at the gates.

To give a little modern context that would be like telling an unruly child that ISIS had taken over their town.

So why has Rome lasted until the modern day whilst Carthage is a bunch of ruins in modern day Tunisia? Well I have a couple of good theories, Carthage was always more of a merchant empire than a conquering one even if they did have colonies in modern day Sardinia and Spain and to be brutally honest, Hannibal was their only good general and he was screwed over repeatedly by jealous politicians, they had a Spartan General during the first Punic War by the name of Xanthippus, a name who’s pronunciation stumped me for years, but even he faced the same problem, after he successfully defeated a Roman siege of the city of Lilybaeum the leaders of the city gave him a leaky ship that sunk whilst he was returning home.

The major downfall though? Carthage relied on mercenaries for their armies, Rome relied on the hearts and minds of the people, the city of Carthage was burned to a crisp during the Third Punic War but it’s more accurate to describe the third war as a mercy kill since Carthage was a shadow of it’s former self at that point, the city would eventually be rebuilt but as the capitol of Roman Africa until the Vandals took the city during the empires dying days.

Hope you enjoyed the improntu history lesson because there will be a test later, just kidding, I’m not that sadistic.

But yeah, there is a lot of history in these runs and I have been wanting to come here for years, you may remember my ill-advised idea to travel from Algeria to here without realizing how long the trip was last year but now that SCW is hosting a show here it’s given me a perfect opportunity.

Unfortunately the only thing that’s remotely intact is the graveyard, yeah.

“So this is the great city of Carthage?” Cyrus asked as he walked around the ruins, Andreas was taking pictures of the less depressing parts of the ruins on his IPhone but there wasn’t a lot to take pictures off. “I think it was a lot greater a thousand years ago.”

“What’s that famous saying? The one Civ V used for the Stonehenge wonder?” I wondered out loud as I looked at the ruins. “Oh yeah, “time crumbles things, everything grows old and is forgotten under the power of time”.”

“Honestly I never even heard that saying before I started playing Civ V.” Cyrus responded as he folded his arms. “By the way, I didn’t see Charlotte when we stopped by the hotel room earlier, where is she?”

“She’s back in New York, her pregnancy is at the point where air travel is really bad for the baby’s health and its part of the reason why I filmed the vignettes in America as opposed to Morocco or Tunisia.” I responded and Cyrus nodded in response. “The other reason being the fact that filming a series of mock Presidential Election campaigns in America would just look stupid.”

“Good point.” Cyrus agreed as Andreas walked up to him. “Well, this was a bust, you want to get something to eat in the city?”

“Sure, I just have a promo to do, I’ll meet you by the Rent-A-Car.” I responded and they nodded before walking off, now that I was alone I got started on my promo. “Empires rise and fall, what you see before me is the ruins of Carthage, one of ancient Rome’s oldest and deadliest enemies and yet they were added to the vast list of people that the Romans conquered! That’s how I feel about my wrestling career, eight years ago when I wrestled for the GWA I was on top of the world! I was winning titles left and right and I had the respect of my fellow wrestlers and fans, now? Desperate times have called for desperate measures.”

If you watched the last Climax Control you know what I mean.

“The first vid I did paid off, I now have a tag title shot where I’m teaming up Joshua Acquin to take on the Rebels on a Rampage for the SCW Tag Team Championships this week on Climax Control and even though I specifically stated that that I was going after the Roulette Championship it doesn’t matter in the end because I am the champion the fans deserve!”

Fact! First up is Big Tiger!

“I’m starting with Big Tiger because I’m more familiar with his work generally speaking, you may be a Tag Team Champion but honestly? I’ve lost count of the number of times that the tag team titles have changed hands recently, first the titles were vacated just before Blaze of Glory IV where they were won by Dying Breed who went on to lose the titles in their first defense TO THE SURF BOYS! Good god, no wonder the bosses couldn’t be bothered to fire those idiots face to face, then you took them back and have held onto them since, those titles have changed hands THEEE TIMES since they were vacated!”

Next up is Dark Tiger.

“How do the champions of this division get that incompetent? Well we have to look at the weak link of those teams and in this case it’s Dark Tiger, that’s right, the guy who beat up two nobodies on his own is the weak link, how? For all your size and strength Dark Tiger you have no skill in the ring and I will exploit that fact! Oh and I guess Josh will too.”

Seriously, who paired me up with this idiot? Anyway I decided to wrap things up.

“Rebels on a Rampage are not the champions the fans deserve, Dying Breed are too busy flipping burgers at McDonalds to be the champions the fans deserve, Danger Zone? Ego Cycle? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH! Those teams are untested here in SCW and yet they think that they are going to dominate the tag team division? I will be laughing my ass off when Ethan gets his ass kicked by Old Skool! Oh and as a side note, NO the Surf Idiots are not the champions the fans deserve! This Sunday I will show them for the idiots they are for I am The Fearless One Steve Ramone, the champion the fans deserve!”

I walked off as the scene fades.