[Mercedes Vargas]

 S|C|E|N|E| 001

She was angry.

She was angry at the fans.

She was angry at Drew Patton.

She was angry at Vixen, newlywed and still Bombshell Champion.

She was angry at the world.

But most of all, she was angry at herself.

Mercedes Vargas first shot at the Bombshell Championship ended in a failure and it took more than seven days to get over it. Tonight, the misfortunes for The Mean Girls continued, with Misty pulling off the most unlikeliest of upsets over Mz. Hollywood, and Liz Smalls suffered her first defeat by pinfall since debuting in the company three months ago. At this point, some would say that following this Climax Control the stable was in dire need of damage control more than anything.

Mercedes, however, simply tuned them out.

Liz's celebration plans were all but ruined now. If she was still going through with it, Mercedes wasn't in the know, or maybe the loss got to her so much that she'd forgot she'd already told Liz that she would pass. Delia and the others would understand.

Pass the vending machines. Pass the staleness of formaldehyde and whatever else hit her from the cleaning carts. Pass the whirring floor buffer and the nightly janitor who can't carry a tune, but couldn't care less about his performance because despite working for little to nothing, at least he was getting food on the table.

The parking lot area of Del Mar Arena catered to a few fans camping out in hopes of getting noticed or catching their favorite SCW superstar unawares in a desperate attempt of getting their autograph. Mercedes mentally draws a map, trying to remember where she parked before she heads in that direction. She paid no attention to the activity going on, not that it interested her in the least. The moment a few of the fans glanced in her direction, a small stir came over them. The USA chants, the Germany chants, even the Vixen chants. If they were trying to rile her up, they were doing a modest job at it. Through it all, she smiles at the hecklers, because they were people too.

Mercedes fishes through her purse until she comes up with her car remote. Pointing it a few feet away, the alarm goes off. Bemused at herself, she watches as the fans scatter to the four winds.

Mercedes: Look at them. Children of the night. What music they make.

Without another glance, she walks towards her car as our scene fades.

• • •

S|C|E|N|E| 002

Open on Carmen pushing a shopping cart down the organic vegetable aisle at Trader Joe's. Mercedes follows closely behind.

Mercedes: Great. The last thing I want to be doing is shopping here.

Carmen: No one forced you to come.

Mercedes: What, are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world. Have you ever wondered how many Trader Joe's are in California?

Carmen: Well, let's see. Between answering calls, filing paperwork, and dealing with people all day, I'm sure that ranks pretty low on my bucket list.

Mercedes: There's only three stores in Santa Monica. Pretty sure we passed both of them on the way. I was thinking, since we're here, we should get some Wheat Thins and...

Carmen: No. Wheat Thins are not on the list.

Mercedes: But...

Carmen: No.

Mercedes: Why can't I...

Carmen: No.

Mercedes: They're on sale fo-

Carmen: No, No. A thousand times no.

Mercedes: Alright, I get it.
Mercedes goes on ahead wandering the aisle and picking up unusual, exotic fruits and putting it down again. Carmen takes her eyes away from her cellphone for a few seconds as she looks up at her cousin. She crosses her arms.

Carmen: What are you doing?

Mercedes: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm window-shopping.

Carmen: You can't go window-shopping at a supermarket.

Mercedes: Why not?

Carmen: Same reason you don't just enter a fancy restaurant and not order anything. I'll explain later. Anything we're forgetting?

Mercedes: You mean other than leaving our pride at the door?

She gestures at one of the many employees dressed in a Hawaiian shirt.

Mercedes scans the list quickly, then goes over it again, this time reading it aloud.

Mercedes: Cookie butter, rosemary marcona almonds, Greek yogurt? I thought you were going to the Dodgers game tonight, not serving up continental breakfast at the Marriott.

Carmen: They're not for me, they're for my boss.

Mercedes: Wow. You actually buy groceries for the person who chains you to a desk all day? Aren't you a little angel?

Silence between them and Carmen turns to Mercedes.

Carmen: She's blind.

Carmen takes the cart and pushes pasts Mercedes. She starts to catch up, but then turns around and went back to the display stand and grabbed a bunch of kale.

Carmen: Kale is not on the list!

• • •

S|C|E|N|E| 003

“These past two weeks have been...difficult.”

Mercedes doesn't even acknowledge the camera as we see her leaning against her Porsche 911 cabriolet. It's beautiful weather here in Phoenix, with the sun just dipping below the horizon behind her. Wearing tight jeans, a Burn Book Style Mean Girls t-shirt (which you can purchase from the SCW Shop for $18.99!) and hidden under a New York Giants baseball cap, the Argentine Assassin is a little worse for wear after the events from the past two shows, including her loss recently to Vixen in her first Bombshell Championship match since she debuted in SCW 14 months ago.

“Given the circumstances, The Mean Girls right now are oh-and-four following the past two shows, and I have to admit it's getting a little frustrating. Don't get me wrong, last show Liz gave it her all, the little trooper, but this was Roxi Johnson. Roxi Johnson. And it's not Liz's fault why she suffered her first defeat since she set foot here. That was all Misty.”

Ah, yes, Misty, the Original Bombshell. Mercedes clenches her teeth at the very mention of her name. For the second week in a row, the three-time Bombshell Champion and all-around pain for The Mean Girls walked out of another match with a victory. Mercedes didn't think things would end up this badly, but it did. She actually watched the exhibition between Misty and Holly Wood backstage, and seeing Misty prevail in both. For those keeping score, Misty has already defeated Contessa and Angelica without much of a problem and bested Holly Wood. That's half of the stable! That only left Liz, Veronica, Delia and, well, Mercedes herself.

“But at the end of the day, when you think about it, I mean, when you really think about it, who does all the hopeless wannabes want to be, and sit, with? Answer in a moment.

“Last show, I had to be in the ring with the greatest waste of space the Bombshells Division has on their roster, the so-called “Lady Justice”, Zuri Chastain. This bottle blonde bimbo had the nerve to challenge me to a match at Violent Conduct II. Why? Because like I told her she wants to make a name off of me. It's bad enough that no one even know who her name is to begin with. Well, we're going to fix that.

A small smile plays on her lips as she reaches for her checklist and shows it at the camera.

“We're going to fix this, Zuri. You want to be famous, I can help you with that. Oh my God! Why didn't I see this before? The reason why you and your sister came out and interrupted me last week is because you're fascinated with me. You got to be in the ring with one of the most talked about wrestlers in the world today. You were standing across the ring from a future Triple Crown winner and future Bombshell Champion, and you were hoping some of my success would rub off on you. You wanted to steal my thunder, is that it? You'll leave me guessing, right?

“Don't worry, pumpkin. I'll be more than happy to make you a star in SCW and after Violent Conduct II, you will be. I'm talking front-page news and making every headline. People will be amazed, especially all those in Arizona. I can see it now. Someone will be calling up their friend Carolyn the morning after the supershow, and they'll be like....

Mercedes holds a pretend phone to her ear as she tries her best Midwest accent.

“They'll be like, 'Hey, Carolyn, did you hear about those sisters who think they're superheroes?'And Carolyn is like, 'No, what happened to them?' And they're like, 'Didn't you watch the supershow? They got their collective asses handed to them by Mercedes Vargas!' And Carolyn is shaking her head, and she's like, 'The poor things. Don't they know that she's The Argentine Assassin?' And they're like, 'Double true. They should of known better..'

Mercedes puts away her pretend phone.

“You'll be the talk of Phoenix and all the newspapers there. Not to mention having your place in history.”

She points at Zuri's name on the list.

“On the Who's Who of Who Cares. Aren't I nice? You know, I hope my good deed won't go unpunished. I mean, I'd feel downright awful if it was.

Mercedes smiles before she puts her hand over her face, changing her expression from smiling to serious in no time flat. She gestures at her checklist again.

“Zuri, Blanca, your names are at the top FOR A REASON. Aren't you special? After that Sunday in Yuma, people will finally know your names, but you can bet Mercedes Vargas is one you'll never forget.”

Mercedes turns her thoughts now to what she's up for this week.

“If Mean Girls are the answer, what is the question? The question on everyone's mind each and every week? Who's the most talked about stable in all of SCW? What is the best part of waking up?  Where does every conversation at the water cooler, playground and street corners, on social media, and in the most elusive nightclubs start and end with? When does SCW become relevant? Why do people care about the Bombshells Division again?

“It's not because of Jessie Salco or Amy Marshall. It's not Zuri or Blanca Chastain. Not any of the other basics in the Bombshells Division. It's not Necra or Vixen or Misty.

“See, there's a reason why Climax Control is shattering attendance records and ratings for the first time in months, let alone years, and it damn sure isn't the Jealous Janis those idiot fans wants to be friends with.”

Unfortunately, there wasn't a Jealous Janis/Idiot Fans scale – patent pending – she could almost guarantee that between the two extremes, the Mean Girls line divided the haves and the have nots.

”Forget about Hot Stuff International, forget about Team Erik, forget about the Party Horde, forget about the New Xtremes – who are probably on their, what, third reincarnation, I don't know. The Mean Girls are here to stay, and no matter what Little Miss Dead Girl tries to do to get rid of us, her efforts are only going to blow up in her face. The Mean Girls were here before you, Mean Girls were ahead of you, and we'll be here long after you and your sad, pathetic, and miserable careers are forgotten.

“But like I said, we’re not doing too hot right now and I'm sure the majority of you are loving this. 'Oh, the sky is falling, the sky is falling!' No, not quite. See, we're not going to press that panic button just yet. You probably think we're at our weakest point now, but you'll never see that surprise coming. Mark my words, read my lips, write this down: Like the phoenix, The Mean Girls will rise again, and like the Empire, we will strike back. Violent Conduct II is a little more than three weeks away, and if there is a time where the Bombshells and Superstars of SCW should be worried, it's right now.

“So Climax Control 92, we have Holly Wood and Veronica Taylor take on Horace Jackson and Electra Blaze. And we know we got this in the bag. Not even going to put any more thought into that. That's a gimme.”

She gives a blow off wave at the camera while shaking her head as the arrogance begins to show.

“I, however, find myself in the Going for the Gold Bombshell Roulette Championship Number One Contender Tournament in a triple threat. And if you know me, you know how I looooooove triple threat matches.”

She gives a straight face.

“Okay, that was sarcasm. You know what that is, right?”

She shrugs.

“Triple threats are a risky business. You have to be on your toes, you have to have eyes at the back of your head, and you have to expect the unexpected. Now, in a match like this, I guess I should be worried, and I don't mean to sound arrogant or anything, but come on, really? When I look at the opponents I'm up against, my chances of advancing that night and punching my ticket to Violent Conduct II to challenge for the Bombshell Roulette Championship looks pretty good right now. One of my opponents is still pretty new here – she's certainly opened a lot of eyes it seems, though her last match with Joanne Canelli made me want to close my eyes and look away. The other? Well, I'm almost sure she doesn't want to relive the many times I've defeated her – plus the fact that she was my former tag team partner.

"Am I looking forward to facing one more than the other? Not exactly. It's Trishelle Jordan, it's Traci Patterson. It's not like I have to remind them who they're stepping in the ring with. I'm not going to shout why I'm better than them and I certainly don't have anything to prove in this tournament. I've won the Bombshell Roulette Championship twice, and just to qualify for another title shot is a simple waste of time. The only person who is a bigger waste is Necra Kane, the person who defeated me to even get that second reign – in a ladder match no less.”

You know how this game goes already, don't you? Mercedes wanted to make it clear.

“I already know I'm walking out of GCU Arena with my hand raised and moving on to face Natalie, Necra, and whoever wins next week's qualifier, and I don't even want this opportunity. I've outgrown the Roulette Championship, and Amy Marshall should be thanking her lucky stars that I'm not teaming with either Ronnie or Liz to capture the Bombshell Tag Team Championship because if I wanted a third reign, trust me, I'd have it by now. Not to say that Ronnie and Liz won't get the job done. After all, they do own a pinfall victory over the MPC, and I have full faith they can do it again when it counts.

She raises her sunglasses over her head.

“So, what's an Argentine Assassin to do? Pull double duty at the next supershow or, short of begging, plead for a challenge from her two opponents at Climax Control? That's your challenge for this week, Trish. Show me that you're the one to watch in SCW, prove to me that you're not just here for a cup of coffee like Marisol Hawkes and Tiami Tyler were. Traci, you and I know each other very well, so you should know what to expect from me. I want a challenge, I want a battle. I want the pair of you to give me a match for the ages. Don't hold back. In your minds, make this match the finals of the tournament and give me your all. Because if you don't, it will all be for nothing. And you'll be remembered in SCW for being, well, nothing.

“Now, I know over the last several weeks, SCW management have been very wary of our presence during matches. Case in point, Erik Staggs. Well, we didn't interfere in the main event, but not because he told us to...it's because we choose not to. Nothing could have saved that snoozefest even if we had been out there. It probably helps that most people dealing with insomnia were cured the next morning. See? You take the bad with the good.”

Leave it to Mercedes to always find the positives of a bad situation.

“The Bombshells Division is a complete mess, and it shows. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. The way I see it, SCW should be thanking us and kissing the ground we walk on. Am I going to apologize for it? Why should I? Being a Mean Girl...”

Mercedes looks down at her shirt and gestures at the Mean Girls imprint before looking up at the camera.

“...means never having to say you're sorry...not sorry.”

Fade.