The scene opens up backstage Vanguard Grand Nightclub in Hollywood, California just after the last Climax Control before December 2 Dismember II has gone off the air. Back in the locker room of Nick Jones, not long after his match against his cousin, Big B, he is there along with all of the members of the Entourage. Nick seems quite clearly rather displeased as he is in the process of reaming out both Jimmy Mason and Max Goldstein as the camera begins to pick up the ongoing conversation.
Nick: Are you two out of your damn mind?!?
Jimmy: Nicky, baby... I don't see what the problem is.
Nick: Of course you don't because you're a freakin' moron! Apparently with B's stupid ass no longer around you two dipshits figured you needed to fill in his role as the dumbass of the group, huh?
Max: Oh Gawd!
Max, quite clearly letting his anxiety get the best of him, starts to breath rather heavily as Nick continues to berate the two men.
Nick: Have you two stopped for even just an instant to think what the hell you did out there?
Jimmy: What's wrong? We distracted that little nutjob for you, just like you wanted, baby.
Nick: No, no, you didn't just distract him, you did the very last thing you ever should have ever done when it comes to that raging lunatic; you touched his damn teddy bear!
Jimmy: Yeah, and it got him to come chasing after us, which was great. I don't get it.
Nick: It's not the reaction for a few seconds that I'm talking about, I'm talking about the fact that you're working that raging psychopath up even more than he already was for this damn match. How do you not see the problem with that?!? Where the hell would you possibly come up with such a stupid ass idea in the first place?
Jimmy and Max both stand there silently as they look away from Nick, staring down at the floor. Max peaks up from the floor a little bit and his eyes shift to look past Nick for just a moment before quickly returning to looking down at the floor. Nick seems confused for a moment before turning to look behind him, where he sees Tony standing, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed across his chest. Tony stands there with no expression on his face, just watching and staring at Jimmy and Max the entire time. Nick then quickly turns back to Jimmy and Max, just in time to catch them looking back at Tony and mouthing something to him, before they're able to quickly look away again upon realizing Nick is looking back at them. Nick then looks back at Tony, now seeming even more pissed off than before.
Nick: Wait a damn second, this was YOUR idea?!?
Tony: Yeah, wut da frig' is da problem, boss?
Nick: Did you not hear everything I just told these two little shits? I thought YOU of all people would know better. Hell, now you're going to have to deal with this wacko in the match too you know.
Tony: Yeah, and? I ain't friggin' care 'bout dat. Dat lil' shit ain't gonna do nuttin' ta me, capiche? I ain't know wut you's so upset 'bout anyway, it friggin' worked didn't it? I mean, you's got da win, right boss?
Nick: Well, um....
Nick stops and seems to be thinking it over, but cannot come up with much of a response to Tony. That seems to make Tony quite pleased with myself, as a big smile appears across his face as he comes to realizes he's left his boss nearly speechless; which is as close as Nick will ever get to being quiet. However, Nick's expression changes from one to deep thought back to annoyance as soon as he sees the smile on Tony's face.
Nick: You can wipe that smug smirk off of your damn face, alright you arrogant little greaseball?
Tony: Hey! What da...
Tony seems annoyed, but stops himself and seems to let it go, instead wiping away the smile as he's so asked.
Tony: Whateva', boss.
Nick: Well listen, if you're so damn convinced that this won't be a problem, then I've got a little proposal for you. How about when Despayre finally snaps, and we know it's just a matter of when and not if, and goes completely batshit crazy at December 2 Dismember, YOU are going to be the one who will get to deal with his insane nonsense, got it?
Tony: Sure t'ing, boss. You's know I'mma be more den happy to put dat little shit in his place once and fer all.
Nick: Alright then, I suppose we have this all sorted out.
Nick turns and goes to leave, but stops himself. He then and turns back to the group, addressing all three men.
Nick: Just one last thing. For future reference, you all need to remember one damn thing. I'm the one who makes the decisions around here, got it? So next time you even think about pulling one of these stupid ass little stunts, you better check with me first, alright?
Tony: You's got it, boss.
Jimmy: Sure thing, baby.
Max: Of course, sir.
Nick: Good. Now let's get the hell out of here.
With that, Nick turns and goes to leave, with the group following behind him as the scene cuts away.
<hr width=50%>
The scene opens up at the Los Angeles home of Nick Jones on Thanksgiving Day. As the scene moves inside, it starts off in the master bedroom, where Nick is finishing getting ready, with Diana there along with him. The two are talking about the days plans, which Nick seems none too happy about.
Nick: All I'm saying is I'm not so sure what's supposed to be so freakin' great about all of these damn holidays. It's nothing more than a day that you have to deal with a bunch of obnoxious family members that you're thrilled not to have to see for the rest of the year giving you crap about anything and everything humanly possible. If I wanted anything to do with these people, then I would, but I really don't. I'm just absolutely dreading this crap.
Diana: Oh, come on Nick, don't be like that. I'm sure it really won't be that bad. It's just a couple of days a year, for a dinner and some chatting and that's it, then you get to move on. I mean, you want to keep in touch with your family to SOME degree, right?
Nick: I don't know, if you say so I suppose. I just don't see it. More than anything they're a monstrous pain in my ass and a burden on my wallet. Not sure I really get the supposed appeal.
Diana: Oh stop. Besides, I didn't even know you had that invited that many people to come out today. When are they getting here?
Nick: You mean the dinner crowd? They're all already here.
Diana seems to be caught completely off-guard by that, as she has a look of shock on her face.
Diana: They're what?!? Oh my God, why didn't you say so? Come on, move your ass!
Nick: What are you freaking out about? What's the big deal?
Diana: We have house guests. You're seriously leaving them sitting downstairs waiting for us?
Nick: Yeah, what's your point?
Diana: Just shut up and let's go.
Nick: Whatever you say.
Nick simply shrugs his shoulders and follows Diana as the both head out of the master bedroom and go straight down the main stairs. Nick and Diana then both head into the living room, where their guests are waiting for them. Diana looks confused as a quick look around the room shows some very familiar faces, as the room is filled only with the usual suspects: Tony, Jimmy and Max, all of whom are occupying themselves by watching television.
Nick: See? They're fine. Jeez, it's Thanksgiving and all of the sudden you'd think this group of leeches can't handle being alone for a few minutes. You think they'd be used to it by now.
Diana: Wait, but... no. What the hell is going on here?
Nick: They're watching TV. What's with you, D?
Diana: You were carrying on and on about your family. Where are they?
Nick bursts out into laughter as Diana looks even more confused now than before.
Nick: Wait... you actually seriously thought I invited my derelict family here for Thanksgiving? Are you out of your mind?
Diana: I never would have thought so, but you wouldn't stop ranting on about them. If they're not coming here, then what was with all the whining?
Nick: It's because...
Before Nick can finish, his phone starts to ring with his custom ring tone of Kid Rock's "Cocky" playing. Nick pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and looks at it before holding it up for Diana to see.
Nick: See?!? THIS is the crap I'm talking about!
A closer look shows that the call in question is coming from a contact simply labeled as "Mom".
Diana: You're seriously complaining about a phone call from your mom on Thanksgiving?
Nick: Oh, just wait. You'll see.
Nick then takes the phone and hits the answer button, putting it up to the side of his head before speaking with a rather annoyed tone to his voice.
Nick: Yeah?
Diana seems a little taken back by how Nick responded to his mom's call, as Nick seems to be listening to what she's saying on the phone.
Nick: Yeah, yeah... Happy Thanksgiving to you too... right, whatever.
Nick listens again as he rolls his eyes a bit in the process.
Nick: Fine, tell dad the same too I guess. Is that it?
Nick listens for a moment until suddenly his eyes go wide and he seems to get a bit nervous.
Nick: What?!? No way. No, no, no... I can't talk to her, I um... I have to go. Yeah, right now. I can't wait, I.... but.... damnit!
Nick pulls the phone away from his ear a moment as he talks to Diana.
Nick: My mom is putting my freakin' aunt on the phone!
Diana seems a bit perplexed by Nick having such a more significant issue with this. That is, until he explains it further.
Nick: B's mom!
Diana seems to suddenly get it, nodding along assuredly as Nick puts the phone back up to his ear.
Nick: Oh, hi. Um, Happy Thanksg...
Nick cannot even finish his sentence before he is cut off, with the screaming being so loud that it can be heard even far away from the phone. Nick pulls the phone away from his ear a bit due to this and as soon as there is a break from the screaming by his aunt, he quickly tries to interject.
Nick: Listen, you don't understand! It's just that...
Nick seems to change to somewhat annoyed as he is clearly interrupted once again.
Nick: No, if you'd just let me finish, I'm trying to tell you that...
Nick becomes increasingly more annoyed as he's cut off once more.
Nick: YES! Just freakin' listen for one damn second and I'll tell you exactly why that dipshit son of yours had it coming!
The screaming from the other end of the phone gets louder than ever as Nick pulls the phone away from his ear. He rolls his eyes and then hits the mute button on his phone before sticking it in his shirt pocket.
Nick: This friggin' broad. I paid my idiot cousin God knows how much money over years because she asked me to, and now I've got to listen to her bullshit because he got the ass-kicking he's been asking for, for a VERY long time now?
Diana: Yeah, but isn't this little maneuver only going to piss her off even more?
Diana points down to the muted phone in Nick's hand, which is still connected to the call.
Nick: This? She's just ranting and raving like a lunatic, she wouldn't be listening to a damn word I said anyway. She won't even notice that I'm not there or not listening, trust me. This way she can get it out of her system and I don't have to listen to her nonsense.
Diana: That's quite the little trick you've got there, I'll give you that.
Diana then stops and seems to think it over for a moment before coming to a realization.
Diana: Wait a damn second, you don't pull that crap with me, do you?
Nick: Well, um... uh... no, of course not.
Diana: Oh really? And why exactly should I believe that? Now that I think about it, every time you and I are arguing on the phone, you always...
Before Diana can finish, Nick notices that his phone gets a bit quiet and he quickly puts his finger up to indicate Diana wait for a moment, as he quickly pulls the phone up and unmutes it before speaking into the phone again.
Nick: Yes. Yes, I understand.
It can then be heard that Nick's aunt continues on with her screaming, as Nick once again pulls the phone away and mutes it.
Nick: Sorry. What were you saying again?
Nick thinks and then realizes what it was so quickly changes the subject.
Nick: Never mind that. So how's the game going anyway?
Nick turns and looks to see the Raiders / Cowboys on TV, and immediately notices that the Raiders are losing the game, letting out a sigh.
Nick: Friggin' Oakland. They really are just the worst, aren't they? Well, I guess it could be worse. At least I'm not a damn Jets fan, right?
Nick stops, turns and looks straight into the camera for a moment, shrugging his shoulders, before turning back to the group.
Nick: Alright folks, let's go eat.
Nick then unmutes and puts it back up to his ear.
Nick: You're right, I'm so sorry, I have to go, bye.
Nick then quickly hangs up the phone before any type of response can come from his aunt and then puts his phone away. Nick then turns and heads towards the dining room, which is already completely setup and has the food on the table, clearly having been catered by some outside source. They all sit down around the table and Nick immediately goes to reach for some food, but Diana slaps his hand away before he can grab anything.
Diana: Not yet. Before we have anything to eat, we all need to say what we are thankful for.
Nick: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.
Diana: I am dead serious. Is it really that hard to come up with ONE thing to have something positive to say?
Nick: You know, it just might be.
Diana: Well too bad, come up with something.
Tony: You's know what? I's got sumtin'. I'll start.
The group all seems to be caught a little off guard by that, but all listen as they turn and look towards Tony.
Tony: I's t'ankful fer da fact dat I's get to get my hands around da neck of dat little nutjob, Despy.
Diana looks unamused while Nick cannot help but chuckle.'
Nick: Well you know what, Tone? You've inspired me. I'll tell you what I'm thankful for, I'm thankful for the fact that I'm getting to do what I've wanted to do for many, many, MANY years. Something I've wanted to do for as many years as that dipshit cousin of mine has even been alive. I'm thankful for getting to beat the hell out of that moron of a cousin of mine; not just once, but also a second time, and soon enough, it will be the third time that's a charm. THAT is what I'm thankful for. Alright Maxi-Pad... you're up.
Max: Oh Gawd! I'm thankful for... oh Gawd!
Nick: Great, Max is thankful for God. Moving on... what have you got Jimmy?
Jimmy: What am I thankful for? You all know what it is... money, baby! Money!
Nick: Alright then, that leaves you sweetheart. What have you got?
Diana: Well what I am thankful for is to have this time to spend all of this time that I can around the people I care about most. The fact that I get to spend so much of my time around the love of our life and not only that, but our closest friends, who are by all means our truest family. That is what I'm thankful for.
The rest of the room gets completely silent, as the entire group look at Diana as if she's completely nuts after listening to her seemingly heartfelt and sincere thanks. That is, until she continues on.
Diana: Nah, I'm just screwing with you! I'm really just thankful that we've got this awesome meal and that I didn't have to cook one single freakin' piece of it! Plus, watching Nick and Tony beat the ever-loving shit out of two of the most unimaginably irritating people I've ever had the displeasure of being around will certainly be something to be thankful for as well.
Nick: Now, THAT is more like it. Cheers!
With that, the group all raise their drinks to cheers before drinking them back. The group all then starts to fill their plates with food and begin their eating. After a minute or two into the meal, the conversation starts back up about their holiday plans.
Diana: So we've got to start putting our plans together. With Thanksgiving so late, Christmas is just right around the corner.
Nick: Yeah, but you weren't serious about that New York City trip you were rambling on about were you? I mean, you were just joking with that nonsense, right?
Diana: What?!? No way, I was totally series. How can you not want to go for New York for Christmas time. It's great out there. What, do you have a problem with the Rockefeller Center or something?
Nick: You seriously want to go all the way across the country for some stupid big ass tree? Give me a damn break. You DO realize that I have a match coming up in Newark, and that's in Newark, CALIFORNIA, not New Jersey!
Diana: Oh, you've got two weeks before your match, don't be such a big baby. The tree is awesome and you know once we're there you'll be happy we went.
Tony: Hey Dee, I ain't t'ink it's da tree da Nick's got da problem wit'.
Diana: Then what do you think his problem is?
Tony: Ain't it obvious? He's scared of goin' anywhere near St. Pat's.
The entire group chuckles while Nick seems less than amused by the remark.
Jimmy: Yeah baby, he's afraid if he walks inside he'll burst into flames or something.
Max: Oh Gawd Jimmy, don't be ridiculous.
Max seems quite serious at first, but then suddenly a smile comes across his face.
Max: That said, he really better make sure he avoids letting the holy water touch his skin, because that's sure to burn.
Nick glares over at Max, still seem unamused by all of this.
Nick: This coming from the Jewish guy. Seriously?
Max: Hey, Jesus was a Jew too ya know.
Nick: Ah, whatever. My only problem with the church is that cheap, shitty wine they serve. If I'm going out drinking, I want to drink like a freakin' man, not like some poor little sissy.
Diana: Well then, we'll be sure to hit a bar before we go to Rockefeller Center or St. Patrick's. See? I'm more than happy to compromise. Now let's book this trip!
Nick: Wait... no. That's not what I was saying.
Diana: Too late to back out of it now, Nick. I'll have it all booked tomorrow.
Nick: Ah, crap.
Nick shakes his head and turns his attention back to his food as the scene slowly fades to black.