Everything was going my way. Amanda was worn down and I knew I had more in me. We were both spinning and in the chaos the crowd fades away. I kept kicking her, and I could see her resolve breaking. I should have never looked up, but I did. The crowd was gone and she was there. I knew she was not playing around, for she had taken on her true form. She did not pretend a mortal form but filled the hall with burning wings. I thought maybe if I did something new....get on that top rope and reign down on Cortez I would stop her. Things did not go my way.
After the ref counted to three even the champion faded away. All I could feel was heat. I knew my time had come. I had made a deal with that flaming bitch and she had come to collect. If I was not to be champion, then I was going to be something else. I looked up and could see her fluttering down towards me. I breathed in her fire and for a moment it set my inside ablaze, and then there was nothing....
But of course that would not last.
I am not sure how long the change took but by the time I opened my eyes the arena was closed and a concerned security guard was staring at me. I was perched on the top rope staring at the empty seats. I look at my hands and they are still my hands. I am convinced one of these days I will turn into a man or a cat...but that is never the case. I am always still Karina...I remember my mother and the mountains. I remember white walls and bars. I remember the traveling years and the training. The blood on my hands. All the flash of this sport....It is all there but still I am different.
Who will I be this time...I don’t know. But I know that words are not coming easy so I leap off the post and push past. I start to run, while I figure out what the hell has happened to me.
When I was younger my grandmother said I was “touched”. Some doctor in Spain said I was “schizophrenic” and another doctor in America said I was “autistic”. I am not sure what it is but it has always been with me. It was there before my first death in the mountains and I am guessing it will be with me at the end...if there is an end. Sometimes I am reborn and it is not as bad. I can almost pretend to be normal, but not this time.
Everything is too much. The lights are too bright. The sounds are too loud and every smell overwhelms me. I run like a crazy person and start to lose track of time. Its like I am a teenager again, stealing food where I can find it and crashing out in hidden corners of the city when I am too tired to stand. Maybe it has been hours or days, I don’t care. All I want is some place quiet. Everything is too bright...
Except her. She seemed to absorb the bright crazy lights around her. She was dark. Her hair was dark, her eyes were dark and so was her smile. I could look at her and things seemed quiet for a while. After being reborn I couldn’t talk but with her I could. She found me in some alley in San Francisco. Her name was Loki. She was an amazon with dreads and purple glasses. She looked at me with an odd smile “Hey there stranger.”
“Hello” was all I said and she took my hand. Her touch was cool and did not make my insides itch like with the others. She showed me around the town and slowly things started to become less scary..
but I always kept one eye open for the fires of change and I held onto Loki hoping the winds of chaos would not take her too.
*****************************************************
A crowd has gathered outside Glacier Gardens, San Diego. It is fight night and the local fans are outside hoping to catch sight of a SCW superstar. Karina pulls up in her motorcycle and eyes the crowd with concern. If she could she would drive right through them to get inside. Not because she hated them but because each and every one of them overwhelmed her. She kept her helmet on hoping they would not recognize her but as she made her way though someone called out. Karina just kept looking forward letting the guard rail create a barrier and hoping none of them would touch her.
Loki: What are you doing?
Karina: Going to work.
Loki: I know that and trust me I am still wrapping my mind around you as a pro wrestler, but correct me if I am wrong. Aren’t these your fans?
Karina stops a few feet from the door and looks at the gathering of locals. Most are wearing a festive combination of SCW t-shirts and holiday garb. If she looked at any one of them too hard it would cause sensory overload.
Karina: I guess....sometimes they like me and sometimes they boo me.
Loki: Don’t you think you should give them some time. Remember what I said. You have to create anchors, that is the best way to keep the chaos away. Maybe one of those anchors can be the fans...
Karina: They smell...
Loki: Yes, but most don’t smell bad.
Karina: Da, but still.
Karina lets out a frustrated sigh and tears off her helmet. She quickly throws on shades to keep the bright light of day away and walked over to the lines of fans. She did not greet them and did not touch them. But for those fans that had things to sign she would take it from them and sigh it. She never met eyes with any of them, but the crowd still could sense this was a lot for her. They quieted down and let her interact in her own way. When she was finished she gestured awkwardly to the group and hurried inside.
Inside the arena she found a quiet corner to prepare in. She changed into her fight gear. She had lost her flashy fighters robe at the last show she was in so she was back to wearing just a simple black hoody. She begins to wrap her hands in fighters tape.
Loki: So do you like to prepare for matches?
Karina looks up at Loki, dressed with a certain odd elegance in a green dress and big black boots. She always looked other wordly to Karina, like she was part Fae.
Karina: I use to. That use to be all I do before a match. I would watch tapes and train, but not this time.
Loki: Have you faced any of these girls before?
Karina: Da, Vixen took my roulette title from me. But the other three I have not faced, but I watch them all. I have many of their moves in my head. I know what to expect.
Loki: Tell me....tell me how you’re going to win this match.
Karina looks at Loki with a bemused expression.
Karina: Last night you tell me wrestling is silly and now you want to talk strategies.
Loki: Yeah well you’re on your own...and hearing you talk about it, its like you are going to war. I just don’t want you to go out there without a plan. I know this...thing between us is new but I want it to last.
Karina: And what is this thing between us?
Loki grins like the cheshire cat and thinks about that for a moment.
Loki: I am your guardian angel...now start talking!
Karina: FIne...well Vixen I have almost beaten before. She faced me at a time when I was very distracted and she was very driven. Now I think the reverse is true. Her little group is in full out war. That bitch Misty could be lurking around every corner and Vixen is going to have trouble with focus. Not to mention her teammate is going to be in this match, but they are not on same team. She is going to be conflicted but I won’t be. There is no baggage with us. She is just a very talented fighter who I plan to break as quickly as possible.
Karina finishes wrapping up her hands and gets out a bottle of water taking a quick drink.
Karina: Her stable mate is Jessie Salco. She is nice girl but not nearly as talented as Vixen. She is going to be a burden to Vixen and I will exploit that. She will be a good figther someday but she is not there yet. She has darkness in her which will help her with this style of match. She knows pain and that will make my work harder. I can’t break her just by making life harder for her so I am just going to have to out wrestle her. That is something I have no problem doing. For Salco this is something she has been playing at for a couple years she does not have the years of experience that I have. She has been a victim most of her life but I have been a fighter.
Then we have Amy Marshal who is another veteran of this sport. I have not faced her in the ring yet but she impresses me. I despise everything else about her but I can tell she knows a thing or two about causing pain. But I am pretty sure my threshold is higher...and I know that I have more tricks up my sleeve. She is rising star right now but this Sunday will be a brutal reawakening for her. In that ring she is going to have no friends.
Loki: But there are three fighters in the ring other than you. How are you going to handle that?
Karina: I am going to be smart. I am not going in there with something to prove, all I want is the victory. I will strike when it is good to strike and then hang back. I will wear them down in many lovely painful ways. You see, Loki, I don’t have to break all of them. I just need to break one and do it first. Maybe it will be Salco, driven to distraction because Vixen is getting beat down by Amy....or maybe I will swoop in right when Vixen is trying to save her younger team mate. I am not sure what way I will find, but I know I will find a way. Pain is my business and I know this match will give me plenty of opportunities.
Loki: Well just come back to me in one piece.
A young SCW staff member clears his throat.
Staff: Ms. Koji....its time for your match.
Karina stands up and nods.
Karina: Da..let us go.
Staff: Ummm who were you talking to.
Karina looks over at Loki who is smiling back at Karina. Karina laughs.
Karina: My guardian angel. Can’t you see her wings?
The staff member looks to the right where Karina is and sees that nobody was there. He had been told not to question Karina too much because she tends to get hostile. So instead he quickly looked back to Karina not wanting to give away that it was just the two of them.
Staff: Yes...of course.
Karina flips up her hoody and walks forward.
