[Kristopher Ryans]

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Dr. Halliwell’s Office
20 February 2025
10:45am
OFF-Camera

It felt like an eternity since he turned away from her. He didn’t know what more he should have expected though. There was no way that Kris expected her to understand, and he knew that it was going to be an uphill battle to convince her that going back to Sin City was in his best interests. It just felt that there was a huge chasm between them. She clearly thought that he was being impulsive, and he had given her years of examples that made backing up that assumption easy. Instead of raising his voice, or blowing up about it, he had taken a timeout to try and compose his thoughts. Some people would call that growth. Maybe Dr. Halliwell would have been less irritated by it had he worked out all of this before breaking into her office well before his appointment was set to start.

E.G.: .... so are you done talking or is there just something really interesting going on outside?

There wasn’t. Despite the fact that her practice was going well, she still hadn’t moved off of the shit street that Kris made fun of on her first visit. He had let himself in back then as well, and when she complained about it he informed her that it was much more dangerous outside than it was inside with him. In fact, even before his incident at Jet City South, he had known several people that were mugged and carjacked just around the corner. It was never the best neighborhood, and hadn’t really improved alongside the rest of the city. The problem with places like that, is that all of the action happened at night. It was more than uninteresting, the morning hours were perfectly still. Not even the birds wanted anything to do with this place in the sunlight. He knew that he couldn’t pretend to have gotten distracted, so he had to deflect her question.

Kris: Funny. I say that I need to go back. You tell me that I don’t. I guess that is the end of it, right?

He turned back towards her, but held his position near the window defiantly. He wasn’t going to cross the distance between them until she started to move her perspective on a return to the ring a little closer to his.

E.G.: You know that’s not true, and it’s unfair. If you think that you need to go back, there’s got to be a reason. If you don’t agree with my perspective, then you have to explain yours and try to convince me. I am not just going to give you what you want with no questions asked. That’s not my job.

He sighed, and shook his head. No matter what he tried, the words weren’t putting themselves into the right order in his head.

Kris: I always thought that there was going to be more time. I spent so much time not taking things seriously. I burned a whole lot of bridges. I pissed away a ton of opportunities. I just thought that there was always going to be time to make it right and check everything off of my list.

The words came out with no real purpose. None of them really explained why he was determined to make another return, but he ran out of words before ever actually getting to the point. Luckily, it was enough word vomit to give her a place to start with him. Her tone changed, and it appeared he had earned her full attention.

E.G.: Well, we often take things for granted while we are in the thick of it. That’s normal. That’s human. Despite all of your delusions of grandeur, that applies to you too.

She thought something in there would be reassuring, but he blew off each one of her words with a shake of his head. He didn’t need the therapist speak, and even though she gave it a good shot, she was still missing the point.

Kris: ...you aren’t understanding. I don’t feel bad about how I acted. I am the person that I am today because of how I acted. I needed to learn those lessons. I earned each and every one of those mistakes. I own that.

She nodded, and took another shot at trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to say.

E.G.: You just thought that no matter how bad you messed things up there would always be a shot at redemption, right?

He shook his head again, this time slightly annoyed that she still wasn’t getting it. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and took another step away from her.

Kris: It’s not about that. I am past needing that validation. I couldn’t possibly care less if everyone hates me. It’s about the things that I didn’t get to do. It’s about the notches that I haven’t gotten to put in my belt yet. It’s not like I was broken down. It’s not like I was on my way out. I was at the very top of my game…

He trailed off, but she was able to see the moment that the puzzle pieces finally snapped together for him. He knew what he wanted to say, but didn’t want to say it.

E.G.: ...and two guys came in your gym and took it from you.

There was a long pause, and she took it as a personal victory that he hadn’t immediately told her how wrong she was again. She mistook the pause for clarity. However, the only thing that she had done by saying the words for him was light the fuse. When he finally opened his mouth, rage poured out of it.

Kris: TRIED to take it from me! They didn’t succeed! The only thing that they really accomplished was making my life really annoying for 16 months and they got what was coming to them! Actually, no! They deserved so much worse than what they got!

This wasn’t the first time that he had blown up in her office, but it did catch her totally off guard. She slid her chair back from her desk, subconsciously creating more space between them and giving herself an exit strategy.

E.G.: You’re angry.

He got even louder, but didn’t move from where he stood.

Kris: YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I AM ANGRY!

She rose from her chair, and pointed a finger at him in an attempt to stifle the rage before it got any worse. When she spoke, her voice was just as calm and collected as it was from her chair.

E.G.: No, I mean you are angry today. You are angry right now. Kris, it has been years since those men came into your gym. You have even already made a successful return to the ring since. You have your health. You have an amazing family. You won. They lost. It’s over.

She gestured to everything around them as a way to get him to look around and ground himself to this moment instead of continuing to live in the one that haunted him, but he wasn’t having any of it.

Kris: It’s not over! That is what I have been trying to tell you!

She dropped her arms defeated, and sat back down in her chair. Her only hope was to get him to explain himself so that he could get it all out.

E.G.: How do you mean?

He took a step forward, and it seemed like the worst of the outburst was over. His voice came out at a much more reasonable level.

Kris: It’s like nothing that I ever did mattered. I look back at my career, and the only things that I can see are all of the things that I never got to do. All I can see is all of the opportunities that I will never get. I might be alive, but they took everything from me that I actually care about.

That was the kind of negative speech that she didn’t allow during their sessions. It was counterproductive.

E.G.: That’s not true, and you know it.



Kris: Being in that ring has always been the only thing that I ever wanted. I thought that when it was over I would feel complete. I can’t do that. If I don’t go back and finish what I started, then they win. It doesn’t even matter if I am still breathing.

The fact that he was actually worried about starting another fight instead of thanking his lucky stars that the shots missed his heart by millimeters was beyond frustrating.

E.G.: Kris, you are lucky to be alive. You can’t keep wasting the opportunity that you have been given by forcing yourself into these impossible situations. The fact is, you may never get back to the level that you were at.

He came all the way across the room this time, and finally sat down across from her, but shook his head. That wasn’t something he could accept.

Kris: That’s not an option.

She shrugged, and had to deliver the hard truth that she had allowed him to dance around since he first got back on his feet.

E.G.: ...but it is the reality of your situation. Even under the best circumstances, people in your line of work start looking towards the exits when they get to be around your age. Your body can’t handle that kind of long-term stress. It breaks down. Father time is the only person that is undefeated in your business.

He shook his head more forcefully this time. He wouldn’t let himself listen to those words. That reality wasn’t real.

Kris: I didn’t break down. I didn’t get old.

She concedes, and walks back her comments, even if just by a babystep.

E.G.: Yeah, but you’ve never been great at taking care of yourself. You’ve always been reckless, and lived hard. At some point, you are out of time to get it back. You can’t blame what happened to you for that. All that will accomplish is stressing you out until you spiral all the way out of control.

He shrugged.

Kris: I am already spiraling out of control, and if I am ever going to find a way to pull myself out of it, I have to get back into the ring.

He had only blown up when she was giving him the textbook things that she had to say to everyone. That wasn’t what he was here for. The one time that she gave the honest truth a chance, he had come back to the table and sat down. If it worked once, maybe it would keep working.

E.G.: I just think that you are setting yourself up for failure. You aren’t trying to process or deal with any of this. You are trying to erase it so that it can’t hurt you anymore. They took something from you, and you are hellbent on taking it back, any means necessary.

Instead of disagreeing with her ludicrous line of thinking, he nodded.

Kris: Now you get it.

He was right, and she understood now. He wasn’t actually out for redemption at all. What Kris actually wanted was revenge, but against what the world was trying to take from him. He wanted to punish everyone the way that life punished him. It was insane.

E.G.: Kris, that isn’t rational. That isn’t how trauma works. If you would just come in here more regularly and start to unpack some of th---

He cut her off.

Kris: I can’t do that.

E.G.: No, you WON’T do that. You’re still running away from it. And instead of confronting that, you’re trying to frame it like you are running back towards the ring. How long are you going to pretend like all of this isn’t chasing you no matter where you go?

Kris: As long as it takes.

E.G.: As long as what takes?

Kris: Getting back what is mine.




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”How long has it been, Eddie?”

”I feel like the two of us have been in this situation before. I mean, arguably, last time we were in the ring together it was part of a tournament that neither of us even realized that we signed up for. Mark Ward was trying to find himself a contender, and threw a handful of people into the fire without warning. I won’t lie, I didn’t even really want that opportunity. I am pretty sure that I even said that at the time. I thought that it was too much, too fast. I didn’t think that I was ready. I hadn’t even gotten my legs back under me inside of the six-sided ring, and I found myself standing across from someone UNBREAKABLE.”

”I couldn’t tell you that I was intimidated. I couldn’t admit that, not then. It was one of my first matches back from being gone for a long time. Suddenly, the stakes became so much higher than what I was prepared to face, and then there you were. Sin City superstars that the fans wholeheartedly love are few and far between. It is even rarer air for one of their favorites to be one of the fastest rising and brightest spots on the roster. It really seemed like the perfect situation for me to get steamrolled.”

”I didn’t really sleep at all that week. I can be honest about that now. I was terrified that all of the momentum that I was building was about to come to a screeching halt. I felt like even if I went out there and managed not to fall on my face, the crowd would riot after seeing you lose. I didn’t think that they would want me, not when they had you. I was worried that I had already been replaced in this company, and I was going to be the very last one to find out. After all, you still have basically your entire career in this business in front of you, and there were plenty of people saying that my time in the sun was over.”

”I was in a match that I was afraid of, in front of a crowd that I couldn’t trust to have my back, with stakes that I wasn’t ready for. The whole situation felt absolutely hopeless. It was a perfect storm of terrible.”

”That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t excited though, Eddie.”

”...for all of the reasons that I was terrified of that match, I also couldn’t wait for it to get started. I told you that at the time. I mentioned it in my remarks leading into the match. I think I said as much again on the night of the show. You reached out on social media before our last match. You were excited to share the ring with a member of the Sin City Hall of Fame…”

”I am not sure if you know how much I needed to hear that. I am not sure if you fully understand the impact of your words. Eddie, you were the only person that looked at me and still saw a Hall of Famer. You were the only one that I competed against last year that didn’t try to tell me that my time in this business was over. You saw my name on the card opposite your name, and got excited. You saw it as an opportunity to step into the ring with a legend. You saw me the way that I was afraid that nobody would. You weren’t calling for me to bow out respectfully like everyone else. You weren’t telling me to stay at home. You didn’t minimize my accomplishments, you celebrated them. You propped me up, and you didn’t have to do that. I am not sure that I ever got to thank you for that.”

”Thank you. Sincerely.”

”Back in September I needed that boost to keep going. I needed to hear those words so that when my music hit, I didn’t feel like I was walking out to be slaughtered and laughed out of the building. I needed the enthusiasm that you brought to our match, because like I said, I wasn’t all-in on the opportunity that was being offered to us. You changed that ahead of our match though. No, I still didn’t want to be the champion. That isn’t what changed. No, instead you motivated me to do something bigger and better. I was horrified that I was going to go out to the ring and drop the ball, and you came out like a ball of energy ready to tear the roof off of the place. Aside from what was going to happen when the bell rang at the end of that match, I think that we both had a bigger goal. I think that you helped me realize that the real prize was going to be the two of us stealing the show. I stopped looking ahead to Finn. The only thing that mattered was making sure to give everyone watching a moment that they wouldn’t be able to forget.”

”I may have won, but we succeeded because of you, Eddie.”

”You gave me the match that I didn’t know that I wanted. You gave me the boost that I didn’t know that I needed. Things may not have been smooth sailing since then for either of us, but the mark that match left on me isn’t one that is going away anytime soon. The impression that you made isn’t one that I will ever forget. When Christian Underwood said last week that he needed a match worth big ratings this week, I mistakenly thought that he was going to throw me into some crazy main event. I couldn’t be happier to be wrong, because now I understand what he really meant. He knew that he had to put us on the going home show, because there isn’t a semi-finals match that anyone is going to be more hyped for than this one. There is no way that anyone else in this tournament would be able to follow what we are going to do out in the middle of that ring. Christian knew that the only thing you can do after ‘Eddie Lyons v Kris Ryans 2’ is start the goddamn finals.”

”...for me, that shows exactly how far both of us have come in the last few months. I started taking the comeback seriously. I stepped away to get back up to speed, get focused, and sharpen all of the dull edges that you were able to expose in our last match. I busted my ass to fix the mistakes that I was making, and clean up the sloppiness. I took the time to put in the work that I have been avoiding for my entire career, and that wouldn’t have been possible without you, Eddie. You woke me up. You snapped me out of it. You reminded me exactly who I was capable of being in that ring, and then I put everything that I could into making sure that I can be that person week-after-week and month-after-month.”

”See, my last return was a bit of a rush job. I can be impulsive. I can be easily persuaded when my phone rings and Mark or Christian is on the other end of the line. I owe the two of them everything. There is no way that I could ever say no to either of them. When I realized that I was in over my head though, I asked them for the time necessary to be my best self. I told them that I would be back for this tournament long before it was announced that they were even going to do it again this year. My name was signed up before the format ever changed. I was the first person they called, because I told them that I was coming back ready for the opportunities that I was afraid of last year. I told them that I was coming back to finish what I started nearly a decade ago. I told them that there is too much left on my bucket list for me to walk away now.”

”Physically, I don’t think it is possible for me to be more ready for this fight.”

”Mentally, I am finally ready to be The Miracle.”

”I am not sure that I could honestly say either of those things without that last match we had, Eddie. You definitely lived up to the UNBREAKABLE moniker. You proved, without any doubt, that you are a hard son of a bitch to put down on the mat, but that isn’t going to stop me from doing everything in my power to do that, just one more time. I have big goals this year, Eddie. You are the one that helped me realize that my time isn’t up yet, but I know that clock is still ticking. I have to make the very best of every moment that I have left. You have been a champion in this company before, and am I certain that you will be again, but not this time. Not this tournament. Not this opportunity. Not the next champion. That can only be one of us, and I am finally ready for that person to be me.”

”...but that doesn’t mean we can’t give Amsterdam a show that they’re never going to forget along the way. Let’s tear it down.”