OH BOY A FOUR-WAY CLUSTER F**K MATCH
Narrator: It looks like Felix Hernandez has a great match for the upcoming climax control where he can earn a shot at the Internet Championship. Also in the match will be Artie, Miles Kasey, and Connor Murphy. This is not going to be an easy match for any of the participants. With that said I now turn you over to Felix Hernandez for his comments on this upcoming match.
The scene shifts and we are taken to a hotel room where we get a camera shot of Felix Hernandez along with Bill and Bea Barnhart. Felix is assigned to the Main Event match, which is a Cluster F*** Four-Way Match with the winner becoming the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. As the camera person pans around the hotel room we see a smiling Felix Hernandez along with his friends and fellow wrestlers, Bill Barnhart, and Bea Barnhart who serves as their Manager, in addition to serving as an active wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. Bea will be at the Main Event match serving as the manager for Felix. When the three are notified by the camera person that they are going full live broadcasting the three take seats in front of the camera and we listen in on the conversation.
Felix: As most of you already know I am Felix Hernandez. I have been assigned to an interesting match at Climax Control 424. I am assigned to the Main Event and the winner of that match gets a shot at Kevin Carter for the Internet Championship. Before I go into the details of why I expect to win this match and go on to face Kevin Carter for the Internet Championship I would like to provide some statistics to help the viewers try to come to their own conclusion on who they expect will win this match.
Bill: You will win this match Felix. I feel it.
Bea: And with me at ringside as your Manager you can fully focus on your match knowing that I am watching everything and will not allow anyone to cheat you out of a win.
Felix: I will try to adequately explain to the viewers how this match works. There are four of us assigned to this match. Myself, Artie, Miles Kasey, and Connor Murphy. This is NOT an elimination match. Therefore it comes down to the first wrestler to score a pinfall or submission is the winner of the match and they will go on to ace Kevin Carter for the Internet Championship. To be straight up it comes down to everyone in my match attempting to score a pinfall or submission as quickly as possible to win the match. That wrestler, without a doubt, will be me, so they need to get ready for that situation.
Bea: Before we went live broadcasting you said you wanted to talk about a few things concerning your match.
Felix: It has been shown, over the history of wrestling, that is isn’t always the tallest or heaviest or quickest wrestler in a match who ends up winning the match. Therefore I will relate to the viewers the statistics on myself, Miles, Connor, and Artie. I enter this match at 6 feet even and 165 pounds. Miles comes into this match at 6 feet 1 inch and 215 pounds. Connor enters the match at 6 feet 1 inch and 183 pounds. And, finally, wimping out at 5 feet 10 inches and 150 pounds, there is Artie. Taking myself as the middle ground I am basically even with Miles and Connor in the height department but I am giving up 50 pounds to Miles. I am giving up 18 pounds to Connor, and Artie it giving up 2 inches of height to me and giving up 15 pounds of weight.
Bea: So what you are saying is that you do not feel there is an advantage for the other wrestlers over you.
Felix: Exactly! Since the match states that the winner is the first wrestler who can score a pinfall or submission on an opponent, any of their opponents, that is an easy thing for me to accomplish. I will enter as one of the participants and I will exit the ring as the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship.
Bill: That simple eh?
Felix: Yep! That simple!
The three start laughing at the comments from Felix then when they recover from laughing Felix continues commenting on his upcoming match.
Felix: Actually there is a bit more involved in this match than I already stated but overall the concept is the same. When you have four wrestlers involved in an all-out, no disqualifications, no count-outs, anything and everything goes, and the wrestler who scores a pinfall or submission first wins the match, this match is made for me. I told you earlier that this match really is that simple.
Bea: People involved in matches like this are often not ready to take on a match like this.
Bill: I agree with Bea. You cannot bring in a specific strategy in this type of match as that most likely won’t work,
Felix: Oh. . .you two. . .you are over-thinking the match. With matches like this you need to go into the match with a positive attitude. You need to go into the match knowing that the action in the match can change quickly. You also need to go into a match like this knowing you can win by being quicker than your opponents and smarter than them and I am quicker and smarter than my opponents in this match.
Bill: Well, Felix, you sure make it sound easier than it appears on paper.
Felix: I will make a few final comments before I end my air time today. I will start with you, Miles, as your name works well for my closing comments. Miles is the appropriate name for you as you are miles away from winning this match. Then for you, Connor, I find that Connor is a good name for you as you are a con artist who is trying to pass as a wrestler. As for you Artie? Well let’s just say that terms like lame, weak, and pathetic, don’t rhyme with Artie. There you have it. Three losers in Miles Kasey, Connor Murphy, and Artie, and one winner in me, Felix Hernandez.
Bea: Just remember that I will be at ringside serving as your Manager. I will ensure that the match is called properly by the Referee.
Felix: Thanks Bill. Thanks Bea. It is nice to have friends like you.
Felix mentions to the camera person that he is done with his comments for his upcoming match and that they can shut down their camera now. The camera person informs the Network that he is cutting his camera feed and when he does the Network switches to a run of commercials.
