[Christian Underwood]

Please post all roleplays here! Have fun and good luck!

[Dreamkiller]

Chapter 57: Suspicion

Colorado was beautiful. I don’t think I’m surprising anyone when I say that. I’ve already gone through how this is now my home and how much I love it. But when you love something you want to share it with the people who you love.

So, when everything was moved in and situated in a way that I found acceptable, I brought my younger sister in to see it. Tasmin was excited. She hadn’t been to Colorado in years. So when she arrived and entered the home that Finn and I had chosen she had a large smile on her face and looked relaxed.

Kallie who was just as excited to see my sister as she ever has been to see me stood next to me. A huge smile on her face and as Tasmin walked in, she stepped forward wrapping her arms around her and giving her a giant hug. When they were done, I stepped forward giving my sister a less enthusiastic but still warm embrace. I smiled, beaming with pride at the awestruck look on her face as she made her way through the main foyer of my home and into the living room.

”This is gorgeous Kay” I gave a small note of appreciation before leading them over to the two couches in the center of the room where facing each other with a glass table sitting between them. I sat down looking over at the large window that looked over at the snow-capped mountains in the distance I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before smiling and opening them, turning and looking at my sister and Kallie who were sitting over the other side next to each other.

Tasmin smiled and tilted her head ”Thank you. While Finn didn’t let me do everything that I wanted, he listened a lot more and seemed more open to what I wanted to do since this is “our” home”

Kallie bounced up and down happily, a huge grin on her face. I chuckled, it was always amusing seeing her so happy and enjoying herself. She was the opposite of Me. Constantly happy and looking at the best things in life. ”I’m like, so glad you are enjoying and loving Colorado. And I get to be home and now I get to be home with my family.”

Kallie was so sweet. I couldn’t help but laugh, I took a deep breath and sat back on the couch my mind drifting off to the problems from last week. Coming in and knowing that Aaron had been here. The anger that I felt in the frustration that oiled up with me. It was a mistake, my sister was always able to read Me and now she was narrowing her eyes trying to figure out what was going on. ”So, penny for your thoughts” And there it was

I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head trying to look as nonchalant as possible. [color=violet”]”I’m just enjoying myself and relaxing. And thinking about all of the different things I still have to do to our home.”[/color] I could see from the look on her face that Tasmin  wasn’t buying it

She took a deep breath and leaned forward. Her green emerald eyes that mirrored mine studied Me. And I knew she was looking right into my soul to try and figure out what I was thinking about. ”Come on. I’m not stupid. I can tell something is on your mind.”

I rolled my eyes and groaned. But deep down I knew there was no point in denying it or trying to deflect it.”Aaron was here…” Kallie’s ears pricked up, she blinked a few times and swallowed hard. I knew this was going to be a hard conversation for her. After all, Aaron was her wrestling mentor.

Tasmin on the other hand disliked Aaron. Obviously not as much as I did. ”Why?”

”Fucked if I know. She talked to Finn” I growled under my breath. My nostrils flared as I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down.

”And…. do you worry about her and Finn?”

I had to blink a few times. It was strange that she would ask me that but my first instinct was to laugh. I chuckled and shook my head before taking a deep breath and resetting myself. ”Oh god no. I trust Finn completely. I know how he feels about her, and if it wasn’t for a little thing called laws he would have done something that many others would conceive to be regrettable. At best.”

Kallie, who had been awkwardly silent for the better part of the last three minutes shuffled next to Tasmim on the couch. She cleared her throat and piped up. ”It-it was probably something business related. Maybe she was out here trying to get the paperwork sorted for the Colorado Wolfslair that Finn is going to be running?”

Oh Kallie ever the optimist

I sneered and shook my head. ”No, that definitely is not it. I could tell that Finn was annoyed at whatever happened.”

Tasmin raised an eyebrow ”And, what did Finn say happened?”

”He said she was just here trying to stir the pot. Just talking shit and trying to get in his head like she always does. And that fact alone pisses me off.”

”She can be an acquired taste” Kallie piped up again, adding in her opinion

I shook my head, folding my arms over my chest trying to keep myself calm but failing and losing that fight ”She's a raging cunt” Kallie’s eyes widened and she put her hands over her ears. She really was using the earmuffs on me. I turned back to Tasmin and sighed ”I want her out of mine and Finn‘s life.” Tasmin just nodded at me and looked over at Kallie

Tasmin was a little more mindful of her feelings toward Aaron than I was. I understood their relationship as student and mentor but at the same time, I couldn’t understand how she was oblivious to the kind of rancid human being that Aaron was. ”You know how these things go. You are going to want to try and fix this so you are going to go after her, Finn is going to tell you to let him handle it and you are inevitably going to ignore him and in the end, he’s going to come up with a plan to get rid of her and get her out of your lives and you are going to screw it up by not simply waiting”

I narrowed my eyes. Staring across the table at my sister with my nostrils flaring even more. How dare she. How dare she so accurately describe things that have happened in the past and apply them to the future like it’s some sort of pattern and basis for things that happen in my relationship in life. ”I don’t think I like your tone or accusation. Or how accurate it is.” Tasmin simply laughed and shrugged. I remained annoyed. But after a few moments, I took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. Not so much to her but to myself. ”So what the hell do I do Tas?”

”Nothing”

I blinked a few times ”What do you mean?”

Tasmin leaned closer shaking her head ”Don’t do anything. This shit will work itself out….you trust Finn, he loves you, you love him…for fucks sake Kayla…be happy…” She chuckled and got to her feet dragging Kallie with her. I sat back and shook my head. Maybe she was right. But, could I listen? Fuck knows.

A challenge

”Legends always fall…”

Kayla took a slow, deep breath, leaning back wearing a pair of leather pants, a red crop top, and a leather jacket over the top. A bottle of wine sitting in front of her as she wrapped her fingers together and clasped her hands.

”It’s hard, isn’t it? Watching as legends that you admired in the past become nothing? I warned everyone what was going to happen when Mercedes got in the ring with Me. I warned everyone that she couldn’t hang with me. And the sad part is it didn’t even have to happen that way. I didn’t ask for a match with Mercedes, I didn’t ask to get a ring with her and embarrass her the way I did. It’s not the kind of thing that I would do. There seems to be this misunderstanding about me like I’m some kind of bully.”

“And why? Because I tell the truth? Because I want a challenge and I’m not afraid to tell people when they shouldn’t be in the ring with Me? Because Mercedes Vargas should never have been in the ring with Me. As good as she used to be, she’s not that woman anymore. She is not the champion she once was. And some people are smart enough to realize that which is why they decide to stay out of the ring and stay out of this company. Amber Ryan and Micah are smart enough to know that they shouldn’t come back like this. They shouldn’t turn into someone like Mercedes Vargas who is limping along.”

“And I don’t regret saying stuff like this. And I never have.”

“But, all I have ever wanted is to face the best. See, I can’t be the best if I don’t routinely face the best. Complacency leads to degradation. If I face the drugs of this division and steamroll them my skills degrade and I don’t stay at the top of my game and I don’t stay as the best of the best. Iron sharpens iron and steel sharpens steel. You put the best that you have in the ring with Me and you are going to get the best out of me and facing someone like Mercedes Varga who is well past her prime is not going to scratch that itch that I have for real competition.”

Kayla stays leaning back before taking a deep breath.

”And why wouldn’t I have that itch for real competition? I have now surpassed Alicia Lukas for the second-longest single rain as the Bombshells champion. Over 280 days. I have done that while being the longest-reigning woman in the mixed tag team division, losing those mixed tag team championships, regaining those mixed tag team championships, and still defending the Bombshells championship. I collect records and championships and you people act like I’m some kind of loudmouth bully who has absolutely no right to call myself the best.”

“All I ever wanted was a challenge. To face the best. And that’s why I asked for a rematch against Andrew. You can’t sit there and say that I don’t go after the best of the best. I faced the challenges that this company throws at Me, that’s true, but I also like to look at people who have earned the right to face me  and Andrea earned the right to face me.”

“She is one of the best you can ever see in this company and this business.”

“And when I look at all of the names in this company and all of my potential challenges, her name popped out at Me for one simple reason. Our last match. At high stakes, Andrea Hernandez pushed me further than anyone in this company has. I don’t say that lightly. In fact when you sit back and you look at everything I’ve said against everyone else you need to realize the gravity of the situation when I give someone that kind of respect. she pushed me further than anyone has in this company and she deserves a rematch.”

Kayla takes a deep breath and leans forward pouring herself a glass of wine before swirling it in the glass giving it a sniff and a slow sip. The long black hair flows down her shoulders and her back as her nose ring tends to shine from the light above.

” Now, there is another reason why I have decided to call out. Andrea Hernandez. While I will gladly tell you all about the more honourable reasons why there is also another reason. I’ve heard the whispers. I’ve heard everyone saying that Andrew Hernandez came so close to beating me that there is doubt that I am the best of the best. I’ve heard people saying that if Andrea had another shot she would be able to take the SCW World Bombshells championship away from me. And that kind of disservice to my legacy and dissonance when it comes to my championship is something that I simply cannot abide.”

“So, what is someone like myself to do? Someone like Me who is very arrogant and self-righteous and usually gets talked about in a negative sense because of my ego? Well, it’s simple, call you out and prove all of those people wrong. And that’s the other side of it. Not only do I want to give you a championship rematch because I need to prove to everyone how good I am but I also need to do it to shut everyone up.”

“To destroy their narrative”

“And to do that I’m going to bring you to that ring and do everything I can to beat you. Just like I did at high stakes. And to your credit Andrea you haven’t come out and played the victim, you haven’t cried about your loss, you got right back on that horse and you destroyed Prudence Steele. And admittedly that isn’t really something that you should be proud of considering everyone destroys that bitch. But you still went out there and you did the best you could given the circumstances. And I’m not going to stand here and degrade you as a human being when I’ve been in the ring with you and I know what you’re capable of.”

Kayla takes another sip of her wine and takes a deep breath again to keep her composure.

”However, you also know what I’m capable of. You felt it. You might think you were the best on that night but the result begs to differ. I retained the championship and I walked out as the SCW bombshell’s World Champion. And since then I have done everything I can to keep proving to everyone that I am the best. Every challenge that they put in front of me I’ve conquered. I am again one-half of the mixed tag team champions and I’m still the world bombshell champion. What have you done? You wallowed in your own self-pity before finally stepping up and destroying prudent steel that’s true. You didn’t let the lost Me get you down but you also didn’t take it with both hands and use it as fuel to come back at Me.”

“It took me wanting to face you to get you to this point. You didn’t come back after Me you didn’t come to that realization yourself. You waited for me to do it. And that is the key difference between people like you and people like Me Andrea. You have all the tools to be a dominant world champion that could be looked at as the best but you don’t have the ability in your mind to step forward and step up and do everything in your power to prove it to anyone.”

“You’re a follower”

“Not a leader.”

“Not like me. And I’m sure some people will disagree with that. They will look at my own self-assessment as a leader and they will roll their eyes and just call me a bully or someone who is arrogant and self-righteous. And both can be true. They are not mutually exclusive. I can be a bully, if I see someone who thinks that they should be on my level and they clearly are not. I’m not going to sit there and act like they are. I’m not going to pat them on the shoulder and give them a participation trophy. I expect people to earn what they are given and most simply do not but you Andrea, have earned everything that you are given including this rematch. You earned at the moment that you had the balls to step within the room with me and push me to my limits”

Caleb pushes to her feet holding the wine glass in her hand as she takes another sip and moves around the hotel room in Nevada.

”But, while you are an excellent challenger for this championship and you would also put a very respectable attempt at being a champion forward the truth is that you are not the kind of leader this division needs. You are not the kind of woman who will drive everything forward like I will. I cause people to step up and be better than they otherwise would be. And that is what I also want from people who step up to challenge me and while you make me better, while you push me to my limits, you are still not good enough to be known as a champion”

“But I am…”

“And the question needs to be asked, what more can I accomplish? Everything that I have done up to this point more than qualifies Me to end up in the SCW Hall of Fame. Some might think that is arrogant but you look back at what I’ve been able to accomplish and you tell me where I’m telling lies. You tell me where I’m wrong. I’m a three-time Internet champion a two-time mixed tag team champion as well as holding those tag team championships longer than anyone else, I am a bombshell world champion who has been able to hold the belt for almost 300 days. I have beaten some of the best this company has ever had so you tell me where I’m wrong.”

“I am more than worthy of being in that Hall of Fame. So, what more is there for me to do? Well, I’m still not the best of the best. Amber Ryan has more days in a single run than I do. She has more defenses than I do, and I still haven’t held this championship longer than anyone else. I still haven’t beaten everyone in this company worth beating. So when people think I’m going to get complacent, I just step back and ask them….”

“Am I a legend?”

“The answer is simple. No. No, I'm not. I am a champion and I am someone who people should look up to and want to beat but I am not a legend. And my goal is simple. I want to own everything. I want to own every single record this company has I want to get inducted into the Hall of Fame and then before I end up like Mercedes Vargas and so many others I am going to retire on top. I am going to walk away into the sunset with the man that I love and I am going to have a family and I am going to live out my life without the need to come back to prove myself to some bullshit ideal. Because I am going to be the best. And you Andrea are the person who needs to try and stop me. Inception is more than just an opportunity for you. It is a moment for you. A moment for you to prove that you are just as good as Me or better. A moment to prove that my win against Stuart high stakes was not the watershed moment of your career”

“And I pray for you. I pray that you are going to give me the challenge that I need and that I want. Because if you don’t? Then you are just going to be like everyone else is. A disappointment.”

.

[Julianna DiMaria]

High Stakes

Going into the rematch at Inception, it was only natural for me to remember everything that happened about that night in Tucson. I was numb for a while after the fact as most would know, but the immediate aftermath is where I wasn’t feeling great at all. I was in the parking lot wanting to be alone. I felt this cold emptiness inside and I was questioning so much. The first question was obvious…

“Why?”

That was the only thing that was crossing my mind. Why, after everything that I had done to face the past that was burdening me and to overcome it every step of the way, why did things go the way they did? Why did I lose? Why, after giving the best performance that I could possibly give on the grandest stage, did the match go that way.

“Kayla was better…” was what the responsible part of my mind was saying.

But realizing this just led to the same question.

“Why?”

I was at the point where I was asking this out loud. THe questionings were continuing. I was trying the best that I could to hold back the tears. I wasn’t feeling like a failure like I had in years past. I wasn’t beating myself down. For as much progress as I made and for as much as I was showing it, I still couldn’t stop asking ‘why?’

“Why was she better than me? Why did I have to lose like that? Why did it have to be in such a cruel fashion? Why did I lose the best SCW match I’ve wrestled to date?”

These were questions that I didn’t think that even Myra or Chelsea could answer. I was even doubting that my father would be able to answer any of this if he were still here.

“How can this happen to me AGAIN?” I said with an angry tone of voice to the point where anyone within earshot could hear me. I didn’t know that I wasn’t alone in the parking lot. I didn’t even want to face my daily after all this, at least not in the instant moment. “WHY does this keep happening to me? I came into this thing tonight believing that I was going to win, but I didn’t. What the fuck am I doing wrong? What the fuck am I missing? I don’t understand. I’m better than I’ve ever been and I still can’t get past that final hurdle? Why? Everyone was telling me that I was going to win. Everyone around me believed this was going to be my night…”

“Not everyone…” I heard from a little bit ahead. My eyes narrowed as my oldest brother Roddy happened to find me. I wasn’t going to ask if he heard any of it because it was a safe assumption that he heard all of it. I was angry just seeing him considering that up to this point, we hadn’t reconciled our relationship yet.

“You’re going to tell me right here and now that you didn’t think I was going to win tonight? God, you’re so fucking supportive….”

I rolled my eyes at my own sarcasm.

“I’m not going to sugar coat and bullshit you. Mom just wants to coddle you and Eddie just wants to protect you. That doesn’t help you. They’ve filled your head with puppies and rainbows for years without realizing it. The answer to all your ‘why’ questions is right in front of you. Think back to your promos. Think back to your attitude of why you wanted to win tonight. Think back to the Belle of the Brawl. I’m not going to give you the answer.”

“Fuck you…” I said to him, not wanting to hear it from him. “Just pour the salt in the wound to me just like you always have!”

Roddy shook his head and he angrily sighed seeing the tears stroll down my face.

“Do you realize that you reacted the way you just did because you’re still holding onto the past?”

My eyes widened with the epiphany that just hit me.

“...oh my god…” I said with a gasp. “Oh my fucking god…”

“It’s hitting you, isn’t it?”

Right now, I just wanted to run away and hide.

“All I was talking about and thinking about in those Belle of the Brawl promos was overcoming and erasing the past… all the preparation that I did was about erasing the past: the roleplay with Chelsea where she pretended to be Evie… constantly talking about the heartbreak I had suffered before… I was so fixated on the past and wanting to erase that and wanting to make people forget about all of that… that I was setting myself up for failure without even realizing it. Oh my god, how could I have overlooked that?”

“You forget that the people you work with have short memories and generally move on from things quickly. You’re literally the only one that brings up the past anymore. None of your opponents even do that. You were living in this giant fairy tale about how you were going to make this happen tonight and redeem yourself on the grandest stage against the most dominant champion this company has seen in a while. You were fighting for the wrong reason tonight and while Kayla was always going to be an uphill battle, you weren’t helping yourself doing what you were doing. I’m not saying Chelsea and Myra or Eddie or our mother were sabotaging you, but the way they prepared you for this didn’t help you at all.”

I wanted to punch Roddy, but there was a part of me deep down that knew that I couldn’t get away from the truth.

“If you ever want to reach your fullest potential in professional wrestling, you need to stop living in the dream world, stop living on Redemption Island, and that ‘me against the world’ nonsense that you’ve had in your brain since you were a little girl needs to be flushed out of your conscience. Dad’s biggest mistake training you was that he didn’t make the effort to push you to snap out of all that…”

“Dad was still trying to protect me…” I said with a sigh.

“What was the first thing that crossed your mind when you realized you lost?”

“...that everything I had worked hard for came crashing down and that it was like 2020 all over again…”

“Bingo…” Roddy said as he grabbed me by the shoulders. “I don’t know how to say it clearer than this… but for fuck’s sake… STOP FUCKING DOING THAT!”

Again, I couldn’t even resist because I knew he was right.

“Get the fuck out of the dream world, Andrea…” Roddy said to me.

“...I agree with him…” I heard from a distance as Eddie, my other brother, walked into the picture. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. But, you’re right. I can’t speak for Dad, but I’ve been protecting you too much, Andrea. I need to quit treating you like a baby that needs to be coddling and comforting you all the time.”

I sighed, coming to terms with what Roddy was trying to get through to me.

“I’m going to need some time to figure things out… even if it takes me a few weeks. I’m going to hurt, I’m going to be numb and I’m going to be distant, but I need this. I need to find a way to be better than this and to be better than the past. I’m so sorry that I set myself up for failure tonight going into it with the mindset that I did…”

“Take the time to figure it out, Andrea…” Roddy encouraged me. Both of my brothers did the right thing and left me alone at this point. I didn’t know it in the moment, and it would take me the holiday break to figure it out, but as it turns out, this was the wake up call I needed. Once I managed to get through the clouds in my mind, I started to pick up the pieces and rebuild myself into a better, stronger person and I made a promise to myself that I was never going to wrestle a match with this old, self-destructive mindset again…

Wednesday…

I was set to leave for Inception soon, but I was obviously in a far better place than I was after High Stakes. Roddy had been training me and working with me for the last few weeks and I was shocked to realize that it was actually a great experience knowing that I had a guiding anchor that was going to keep my ship from being lost at sea. Still, before I left for my rematch, I had some old memories in a wooden crate, bad memories.

I had old diaries that had pages and pages of a pity party locked away. I had pictures and tapes of my old SCW failures in that crate. I had old merchandise from my “President of the Internet” era in there as well as moments from other companies I had wrestled for that I had accrued over the years.

I had strapped some appropriately sized dynamite to those bad memories that I was holding onto for my own detriment. My mother walked in and she was understandably confused.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m starting over…”I told her as she came closer to the training ring. “...I’m ready to let go of all the hurt and pain from the past that has done nothing but drag me down.”

“You couldn’t have just thrown all of that stuff away?” my mother asked with a meek laugh. “What is even in there?”

“You remember places like OCW and UWA right?”

“I’d rather not with all the psychological cracks they put you through.”

“It’s just bad vibes I’m getting rid of. I’ll never get to where I want to be if I keep holding on to all of this.  When I lost at High Stakes, I woke up. I’m done holding myself back because of an inability to let go…”

A small smile came over my mother.

“This isn’t how I’d get rid of bad vibes, but I’m happy that you’re finally doing this. I’ve been praying for this for years, sweetheart.”

I was surprised by what I just heard, but I let her continue.

“As you were growing up, I noticed that you were always acting as if the world was out to get you, always feeling the need to prove yourself to anyone under the sun. You always felt the need to prove someone wrong and to shut someone up even over the smallest thing and you’ve carried that with you in your career for years. It’s not a healthy way to live, Andrea. Maybe I should’ve had you in therapy or in some kind of empowerment group when you were a teenager….”

“I chuckled at this for a bit. I wasn’t offended by what my mother just said. I was absolutely at peace with that truth.

“I know so much of it was because of Roddy treating me like shit and my dad not letting me be a wrestler for years, but that’s no excuse. I kept fighting Roddy, with every step of my wrestling career being all about silencing him and proving him wrong and then hater after hater, critic after critic, kept adding onto that list. It was like I was adding stones to my basket until I couldn’t hold onto that basket anymore. This mentality has cost me so much in my career and I’m just sick of it. High Stakes was the last straw for me. With everything I’ve accomplished in my career in spite of myself and having this mentality that I’ve had since I was a little girl of holding onto everything and needing to quiet people, a part of me wonders what the hell else I’d already have to my name if I never weighed myself down like that…”

I sighed, feeling emotional for a bit.

“I want to be better, Mom. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be better and believe in myself with a stronger purpose. I want to love myself better. I’m committed to making the changes that need to happen to be the best version of myself. This goes even beyond my career. What if I have my own children someday? They don’t need a mother with that mindset at all.”

“I’ll support you every step of the way. By the way, you’re going to need this…”

My mother pulls out a set of matches from her pocket and she tosses them my way. She even gets into the training ring with me which caught me off guard.

“As a matter of fact, hand me a couple…”

“Mom, are you serious?”

“I stand with you as you build the new you and the better you and you know I am going to be there to help any way I can. Come on, hand me some matches.”

I ripped off a few matches and handed them to my mother. I was about to light some matches, but my mother stopped me.

“Hold on, sweetheart. You have anything and everything related to Crystal Hilton in that crate, right?”

“Who?” I asked with a wink.

“Really, Andrea?”

“What? I never wanted her in my life to begin with and after I beat her recently, I decided she doesn’t exist to me anymore. All she’s ever been throughout my SCW run is toxic.”

“Fair.”

“And yes, anything and everything that has to do with that woman is in the crate.”

“Good!” my mother said with a laugh. “Besides, to let you in on a secret, your father never liked hers anyway. Hanging out with her parents in Mexico at the various points that we did, he’d always talk shit about him and he’d always talk about how he was a nuisance and Crystal’s parents were some of the most obnoxious people he’s ever met. I couldn’t stand them either. But anyway, that’s enough. I just wanted to make sure you took care of that too.”

“Right. Let’s clean the slate.”

We both lit up the matches that we had in hand and then we lit up the dynamite on the opposite ends of the crate. We both get out of the ring and as high into the stands of my father’s former wrestling gym as fast as we could. We could hear the dynamite hissing for a bit.

“Here’s to a new beginning, Mom…”

“Finally!” she said with a smile. “I’m so happy for you that you have decided to do this and that you have decided to evolve, grow and change for the better. It means the universe to me considering you’re the only daughter I’ll ever have and it was always my dream to watch you grow up to a strong, powerful woman that was capable of overcoming…”

My mother was interrupted by the sound of the crate with all of my horrible memories I needed to let go of exploding. For a moment, it was raining paper, plastic and all other shrapnel from the crate for the memories that I decided to get rid of for good.

“You’ve got her now…” I assured her as we exchanged an embrace. As we watched the “snowfall” of disintegrated bad memories fall to the floor, I felt freer and happier. I knew things weren’t going to happen overnight, but I was thrilled that I was finally able to let go…

1-25-2025

I was in my Vegas hotel room and I was keeping things simple. The camera was on me and I knew I wasn’t doing anything fancy. I was standing behind a table with a hammer and a flash drive on it. There was this determined anger in my soul at this point and while there was that nagging part of me that was trying to tell me ‘what you’re about to do and say isn’t a good idea’, there was the other part of me telling it to shut the fuck up. I glared at the camera and began to speak.

“What’s in front of me is the one thing of the past I haven’t disposed of yet and that just happens to be High Stakes two months ago. For all the credit that Kayla deserves for winning that match, I will be the first to admit that I went into that match doing myself no favors. I was clinging onto the past. I was embracing it and saying that I was going to use that to fuel me so that I could finally prove people wrong and silence the haters and finally prove Evie Jordan wrong and Alicia Lukas wrong and all of this other fucking vapid bullshit. Kayla, I am going to be open and blunt and I am going to straight up say that I took what was on paper, an uphill battle to begin with and I made it even HARDER than it had to be on myself and I’d be lying if I were to say that I’m not angry over High Stakes anymore because the truth is?

I’m STILL fucking pissed about it!

Because I know that I fucked myself over. I’m not saying that if I went into it with a different mindset, the result would’ve been different. But the fucking FACT of the matter is that I made it all about overcoming and erasing a past that I’m not proud of and I was stuck int his underdog, Cinderella redemption fucking bullshit that I should’ve let go of. I’m not angry at you for winning that match. The truth is, I’m angry at myself for weighing myself down. I’m angry because of the fact that I wrestled the best possible match that I could’ve… or so I thought, and it still wasn’t good enough. For the last few weeks, Kayla, I have had people tell me “oh you did so great” and “oh you were so close” and “oh you were the closest to dethroning Kayla among all of her challengers” and “oh you have nothing to be ashamed of” and yeah, maybe all of that might be true.

Sure, maybe I have come the closest.

But you want to know what coming the closest to dethroning you actually means to me, Kayla? Do you want to know what it means to me personally to be so close?

NOT! A FUCKING! THING!

Maybe the old Andrea from a few years ago, or even a few months ago, would’ve been perky and happy with being ‘so close’ and coming the closest to dethroning you. But now? Fuck no. The truth is, I don’t give a fuck if I came the closest. I don’t even give a shit if I was your toughest challenge. What the fuck does it mean if you don’t actually win? Truthfully? Not much of a fucking thing. Being ‘close’ doesn’t mean shit abd I am above settling for a moral victory like that. You’ll notice that even though I beat Prudence Pierce, I didn’t even bother celebrating it or making a big deal out of it. Sure, it was a bounce back win from High Stakes, but it’s not a match that I’ll take a victory lap on because I had already beaten Prudence before. You’ll notice how quickly I moved on from Crystal Hilton after I beat her, I made no mention of the High Stakes match she beat me in. I made no mention of ‘I avenged that, YAY ME’. Hell, going into that match, I even said straight up that it wasn’t going to be about that and hell, it fucking worked. I’m not bragging about it in the slightest, but I not only beat her, I blew her the fuck out of the water.

I admit that I’ve been on the quiet side of things after High Stakes. I’ve been taking the time to learn my lessons from High Stakes. I’ve been doing what I can to strategize for this and what type of mindset that I need to be in. Last time around, I went into the mindset of ‘redemption’ and wasting my fucking time drowning in adversity that was four years old. This time? I’ve got to go into it aggressively. This time? I have to be about winning the championship. PERIOD! It’s nothing but that! I’m not even going to paint this as a do or die situation because the truth is, I am going to do whatever it fucking takes to be SCW Bombshells World Champion regardless of the outcome of this match. If I have to go through a Blast from the Past tournament this year to get another shot in a worst case scenario, fuck it. I’ll do it but I’m not going to entertain that thought at this point. But yes, I admit it, Kayla…

High Stakes cut me…

And it cut me fucking deep…

I won’t shy away from that.

I had to make that extra effort to not fall back into old habits. I had to see where I went wrong and I had to see what I needed to change in order to be better. Even then, I realize that it just might not be enough because I know that a process like what I am undertaking isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. What you did for me at High Stakes was push me to a point where I decided that I was done being a victim of my own adversity. Hell, I admit, considering the fact that rematches don’t come around so often when the challenger of a world title match loses, I was willing and ready to play the long road back if that’s what it took. But then I found out that there WAS going to be a rematch and there was a rumor going around that you specifically hand picked me… that is if the Inception card preview is to believed…

I wasn’t surprised. Hell, I admit that it was tempting for me to question your motives and ask why…

Until I decided that it wasn’t worth the thought…

That’s the thing though…

And maybe all of your previous challengers NEVER got it…but the truth is, just about every challenger you’ve had, has been worrying about you, your attitude, how you carry yourself, how you treat other people, what you say about other people. They’re so fixated on shutting you up that they don’t focus on themselves and what they need to do in order to beat you. You’ve gotten into people’s heads as a result without even trying and yeah, maybe to a degree, the last time around, I was worrying too much about you and who you are and how you carry yourself when the one person that I should be focusing on is me. So rather than bring up some things that you’ve said in the weeks leading up to this match, at least on this occasion, I’m going to focus on me and what I need to do in order to win this match. You admitted yourself that you’re never going to change and you do you on that.

Fine.

You be who you want to be.

You say what you want to say.

You can keep on keeping on talking about how “everyone” is rooting for you to fail.

Though, I wasn’t one of those people. I’m not petty. I’ve never rooted for you to fail. I’ve only ever wanted to beat you for the World Championship.

You keep on staying the same and continuing to do the same thing that made you successful… that’s fine with me. But let me riddle you with this…

How LONG can you continue to stay the same and continue to be successful? Is this something that you have given any serious consideration to? You know how things are in this business: you have to continue to evolve and continue to grow to continue to be successful so if you’re going to consider yourself perfect and if you’re going to continue keeping on with the same formula, then by all means you do you. Just remember that the same formula doesn’t last forever and doesn’t attain the same degree of success and it’s ironic that you’re so adamant about sticking to the same thing when you consider that you have other Bombshells that have fallen into the same trap that you’re setting yourself up for with ‘why change anything? It’s working’.

You know the ones…

Mercedes…

Crystal…

Salco for a time…

Seleana…

Even Alicia Lukas at one point…

Those that I just named kept up with the same old shit for years and years because they thought that they didn’t have to change or evolve for a damn thing and they CONTINUED to stick to the same old shit once it became evident to everyone else but themselves that what was successful before, wasn’t so much successful anymore. Ironic, is it not, that you might be falling into the same trap as them?

But hey, as long as it works, right?

So that tells me that because you won at High Stakes, that you’re going to stick to what won you that match? The same mindset? The same moveset? Hey, that’s just fine with me! Again, you do you and I’ll worry about what I need to do.  Still, the fact of the matter is that you’re not going to be the SCW Bombshells World Champion past Inception not because you’re not good enough but because I figured out a way to better myself to beat you. You’re more than good enough to beat me as the results have shown, but ultimately? I’m going to be brutally honest with you. If you did, in fact, hand pick me for a rematch at Inception and decided that you wanted to challenge me again, then that is going to wind up being the biggest mistake of your world championship reign and one that could very well result in the end of it.

Because believe it or not?

When you beat me at High Stakes? You actually did me a favor. Let’s say that I had won that match. It very well could’ve happened as you and I both know. Would I have been world champion long? Honestly, there’s a very strong chance that I wouldn’t have been. With SCW’s propensity to have rematches and title defenses two to three weeks after Supercards, they would’ve rushed a rematch between us and I still would’ve been stuck in the same mindset that I’m trying to get rid of now. I would’ve still been stuck on that 2020 nonsense and I would’ve made my title reign all about making it better than the first one and silencing the haters once and for all. I would’ve set up that title reign for failure and there’s a better than decent chance you would’ve regained the title from me like weeks after High Stakes because of it.

But when you beat me, you awoke something inside of me. You awoke this drive in me to finally let go of the past and to quit anchoring myself because of it. You awoke a new phoenix in me. What you did when you beat me was put the wheels in motion for me to be a better world champion than I would’ve been had I won at High Stakes to begin with. High Stakes didn’t destroy me. As a matter of fact, High Stakes put the wheels in motion for me to start growing and to finally move the fuck on from the past. If you did in fact, hand pick me to challenge you again, I’m going to make sure that it’s your biggest mistake because with what you have set in motion, at High Stakes, you caused a better, stronger wrestler to wake the fuck up and that wrestler might not be someone that you’re ready for. I’m going to make you regret having me as a challenge to you again. Perhaps after High Stakes, I should’ve been the one thanking you.

Because now?

I’m FREE from those old burdens that have held me back.

I’m NOT going to make this about overcoming the past.

This is NOT going to be about silencing the haters and proving people wrong.

This is NOT going to be about redemption and erasing a past that I am not proud of that.

Fuck that…

HELL with that!

What I AM going to make this about is beating you and winning that championship! That’s right, I’m keeping it very fucking simple this time and I am not going to make the same stupid mistake I made when I went into High Stakes hyper focused on all that bullshit that I am distancing myself from now!

Not now…

Not next supercard…

Never again!”

I paused for a bit to take the hammer on the table and crush the USB drive consisting of the High Stakes match against Kayla. I showed the camera the fragments of that drive and decided to wrap this up.

“THIS? I’ve gained more than enough from this! Once that bell rings at Inception, what happened at High Stakes isn’t going to matter anymore if it hasn’t already stopped mattering. I will not let a heartbreaking loss like THIS, or any other loss, define me me ever again!”

With that burning desire in my heart, I tossed the flash drive of the HIgh Stakes match in the trash and then shut the camera off.

[Dreamkiller]

Chapter 58:Sneaking away

I knew he was going to be angry.

Or at least annoyed

I closed the door behind me softly so I wouldn’t wake anyone in the house. Moving down the street I pulled out my phone and looked at the GPS. I was still unfamiliar with the streets of Colorado. Unfamiliar with where everything was. It was a learning curve, I had lived in New York for so long that I had memorized all the shortcuts and streets and ways to get from a to be in the fastest time possible. But, he was different.

I was wrapped in a black leather jacket with a thicker one over the top and black jeans. It was still the middle of winter and it was freezing. The warm hat over my head held my hair over my ears and down my cheeks. But with every breath, I could feel the cold air entering my lungs.

I moved fast my eyes starting from side to side as I stopped and waved my arm seeing the Uber driving down the street. I slid in not saying anything instead just giving a nod and showing him the address. I wanted to have his little human interaction as possible. The car took off moving down the street before slowly coming to a stop outside a large hotel. I stepped out looking up at it as my heart started to beat hard in and out of my chest.

I could feel eyes on Me.

I looked over my shoulder, they were there. The Romani presence wasn’t as thick as it was in New York but it was there. I knew it was there. From the moment we moved here. But I chose to live in happy ignorant bliss because there was still no way they could get to us while we were living here.

Finn knew it too. He wasn’t silly enough to think that we were going to get away scot-free without them keeping tabs on us. We may not be a threat anymore. We may not be people who they needed to go after, but we were still being watched. Studied. And that was fine.

But this was still nerve-wracking. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath walking up to the hotel pulling the glass door open and stepping in. I looked at the man at the front desk but knew exactly where I was going freezing past him towards the elevators, I pressed the button and waited. The two Romani from over the road had walked in and sat down. I rolled my eyes and shook my head before hearing the familiar ding sound signifying. The door was opening. I stepped in going all the way up to the 12th floor. My mind was racing as the elevator took me up there.

What was I going to do? What was I going to say? But I couldn’t show my trepidation or my anxious undertones. I had to keep everything centered and show no fear and no emotion. I had to be cold. Cold as ice and hard is steel.

I stepped out of the elevator moving down the hallway and turning before standing out the front of the door. Room 1215. I slid and reached up knocking hard and waiting. It was late, but I also knew that this would be a conversation that they would want to have. I knocked again. This time I heard footsteps moving behind the door. The door unlocked and it opened.

”What the fuck are you doing here?”

”Do you really need to ask me that Aaron?”

The tension in the air was palpable. She was staring at me with those bitchy intense eyes. And I was trying to meet her intensity as well. The two of us staring at each other on either side of the door frame like two dogs who have been pacing back and forth on either side of a fence for a long time. She took a deep breath stepped back and moved her arms signaling me to walk in. I stepped through the door into the room, looking over at a chair as I took my jacket off turned, and sat down. She moved around and sat on the opposite side of the table. ”So, what do you wanna talk about?”

I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. She knew damn well while I was here and and also knew what I wanted to talk about yet she was still going to sit here and play the clueless idiot. It was a power play. A mind game. And that is one thing that I always hated about her. She honestly thought that she was better at mind games than me. But this isn’t my first rodeo, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to play the manipulation game. And I’ve been on both sides of that fence. And this bitch is going to learn. ”I want to know why you are still fucking with my boyfriend.” I locked eyes with her, there was no point in pussyfooting around this. I was short and to the point.

Erin slowly smiled, her nails tapping against the table as she tilted her head and looked me up and down. ”You know why. Caillen should be with Me. I think that’s pretty clear.”

”To who?” I couldn’t help it interrupt her right away. That was bullshit and she knew it was bullshit. At least, I hope she did. But some people just believe their own crap. ”You and Finn were together, and it didn’t work, and now he wants nothing to do with you but you keep pushing over and over again. And you might not believe this but it does affect him. In a very negative way. You are hurting him.”

”Good. It’s making him see that I’m the one he should be with or not you. You’re the one who’s being chased by these gypsies, The Armani are after you they didn’t want to go after Finn and they didn’t want to go after Dickie, they were going after you. They have just become collateral damage.”

I swallowed and took a deep breath. My hands slowly bawled into fists as I stared across the table at her. She wasn’t wrong, in fact, she was right. And that pissed me off more than I could ever say. But I had no idea where I should go from this. Part of Me wanted to reach across the table, grab her by her shirt, and punch her in the face as hard as I could. But instead, I sat there shaking my head slowly and tried to calm myself down. Something that Aaron noticed. She studied Me, tilted her head, and knew that she was getting under my skin. This was dangerous.

”So, when you think about it, who is really hurting him? Who is hurting his family? Because of you, there is now a war going on between the life Finn wanted to get away from and the one that you got away from. But everyone else is caught in the crossfire. All because of you. Because of your decisions, because of your past, and you’ve dragged him into it. Congratulations. And the worst part is, you have no idea that eventually he’s going to get bored and he’s going to walk away from you. Because you do not challenge him the same way that I do.”

”I’d also never break his heart like you did.” I hissed the words and slowly smiled. She might have got an under my skin but I also knew how to get onto hers. And now that she had said her piece, it was my turn. ”I love him. And I show him I love him by being with him. Just him. There’s always been this weird thing about me because I’ve always shown a lot of myself, but when it comes down to it, I haven’t been with many people. And when I’m in a relationship, I’m all in. I’ve never cheated on anyone. And I damn sure not gonna cheat on the love of my fucking life”

I spat out the words, my nostrils flared and I felt myself stand up. Aaron looked up at me standing up to meet Me. The two of us stared across the table at one another like two gunfighters in the old West waiting for the other one to blink or move. Then, Aaron slowly smiled and chuckled under her breath. ”I’m sure you really believe that. But he’s the problem, I believe he should be mine. So what are we going to do about this Kayla? Because I’m not backing down, and neither are you.”

I ground my teeth together, moving from the side of the table I got inches in front of Aaron‘s face. The two of us locked eyes as I couldn’t help myself. I had to assert my dominance. ”I’m going to make this very clear. I want you to get on a plane and go back to New York. Go work at Wolfslair New York and help the next generation or do whatever it is that you tell yourself you are good at in life. Stay away from me, stay away from Finn, and let us sort our own lives out. You don’t want to go to war with me Aaron, I have stayed away from you and I have not gone after you because Finn has asked me not to. But there comes a time where that entire situation goes out the door…. this is your last warning.”

I turned from her, moving toward the door. If I was there any longer I was going to knock her out. But at the same time, I knew she was going to have the last word. She can’t help herself. ”You can threaten me all you want, I’m not going anywhere Kayla. I’m not going anywhere.”

Evolution

”294 days, that’s how long it’s been since I beat Juliana DiMaria. That’s how long it’s been since I took the Sin City wrestling world bombshells championship from her. You don’t fall into a championship rain that long by accident. Yet for some reason, I don’t get looked at in the same respect as others have.”

“I don’t get talked about in the same way as the other top names of this division. And why? Why is that? Could it be because unlike all of them, I don’t kiss everyone else’s asses? Because I don’t Smile for the camera? Is it because I’m hated? Because you can hate someone while still having respect for what they’ve accomplished. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, respect for what I’ve accomplished.”

“294 days… some of the best this company has the offer is tried to take this championship away from Me and they have failed. Including Andrea Hernandez.”

“But it doesn’t and there. I have 37 wins in this company. 37 wins out of 43 matches. That kind of record doesn’t just fall out of the sky. There is a handful of people who have been able to beat me. A handful of people who have been able to get the better of me. Everyone else has fallen before Me. Everyone else has ended up losing. And it’s not because I’ve cheated them out of wins, it’s not because I’ve run my mouth and tried to do underhanded tactics. It’s because I’m better than them. It’s because I have been better than them and better than everyone else in this division since I stepped foot in this company”

Kayla laughed to herself, shaking her head with her long black hair tied back away from her face. Her hands slide down into the front pockets of her tight-fitting black jeans. A black leather jacket over the top of her Kayla  Richards dream killer T-shirt.

”And that has been a sticking point for so many women in this company. Including you, Andrea. You even said it. Going up against me and losing to Me means nothing to you. And the loss itself should in a way mean nothing to you. But not the way you’re thinking. You see you’re just going to stand there and say that it means nothing whilst still being pissed off over it because you haven’t learned a goddamn thing. And for someone who is so preoccupied with learning and evolving that is one of the most stupid things I’ve ever heard a woman say in front of the camera. And that disappoints me because I thought you were smarter than that.”

“A loss against Me should matter. It should mean something. A loss against anyone means something. You should have gone home and dissected it and learned and come back stronger..”

“On a personal level, on a business level, these things should mean something to you.”

“High stakes was a great night for women’s wrestling. You and I did everything we could to each other. You did everything you could to beat Me and I applaud you for it. I told you then that I was looking forward to facing you because I knew that you weren’t going to hold back. I knew that you were the type of woman who was going to test me and push me and do everything that you could to walk away with my championship and I wasn’t disappointed. when that night ended, I thought I’d found someone that could rival me for years.”

She nodded slowly, folding her arms over her chest before continuing.

”But, now I’m sitting here and listening to you. Talk about a new mindset. Completely throwing yourself under the bus from our first match like you had made a mistake. Did you watch that match? Did you see how close you came to beating me? And you think you need to change everything about yourself and start talking shit about the “old Andrea”? Like somehow you’ve had this amazing three-month metamorphosis into someone new and someone completely different?”

“No, that isn’t how personal development works. While I’m not against anyone growing and I’m not against anyone becoming a better version of themselves the truth is that you seem to have gone completely in the opposite direction.”

“Where is the Andrea Hernandez who wanted to prove that she was the better woman by simply being a better wrestler? Where is the Andrea Hernandez who wanted to have another shot at glory because she realizes the way that she went about things last time was wrong? Because every single time I hear you speak you are talking about the old you, you are talking about how you’ve changed. But constant change means that you’re nobody. It means that you have no discernible personality traits and that everyone sits here just wondering who the hell you are.”

“People know who I am. People know what I’m about. I still learn and grow but I don’t stand here and talk about the old Me like some kind of fucking self-help guru who sat under the giant tooth learning tree of Anthony Robbins”

“New mindset new you? How about just the number one contender who could push me to my fucking limits? How about that?”

She can’t help it laugh again, the whole situation being a giant joke to her. And a frustrating one of that. Her green eyes burn with anger and frustration as she continues.

”Right now, that’s what I want. That’s what I need. I need you to pull your head out of your arse and start talking like our first match actually meant something. That you learned something. That’s the entire reason why I wanted to defend the championship against you a second time. If you look at my history, if you look at everyone who I faced more than once if I’ve beaten them, they find it very hard to come back and beat me again. And if they’ve beaten me? I come back and destroy them.”

“I’m a nightmare for everyone on this roster. But I thought if anyone had a shot of being able to beat me with a second opportunity it was going to be you. Everyone else has failed but you could’ve been the one to change that. I wanted you to come at me with everything that you are, and instead of getting The Andrea Hernandez who almost beat me the first time I get this sniffling little rodent talking about new mindsets and throwing herself under the bus. What the hell is this bullshit?”

“Grow up…”

“Seriously pull your big girl pants up get in the ring and try and take that championship off of Me.”

“Like a real champion. And since we are on the path of talking about real champions and different mindsets, let me make something very clear. The fact that you think I’m gonna come into this match and do the same thing as I did last time shows how little you know about Me. Every single time I face someone, every single time I’ve had to get into the ring with a person more than once they have had to see a different side of me simply for the fact that I don’t want to be predictable. And I am nothing if not unpredictable. And part of me thought you knew that, part of me thought you would see that but again I find myself in this strange position where you have let me down. And that breaks my heart Andrea because I thought you were different.”

Caleb picks up the bombshell championship throwing it over her shoulder and hugging it to her chest, her thumb curling around the main plate and tapping on her nameplate on the front.

”That disappoints me on a personal level. I’ve been talking you up like you’ve been my greatest challenge and when push came to shove, you repay me by sounding like an absolute twat. There is a small part of me though that believes this is all some kind of grand mind game on your part. That your talk of mindset and changing and evolution and the argument of the old you is nothing but a smoke screen to make me believe that you’re going to come in underprepared and not taking me as seriously as you should.”

“So, as much as I am sitting here scratching my head while looking at your stupidity I’m also going to go into the match with the same violent nature as I’ve always had. I’m going to be getting into that ring to do the same thing that I have always done. Use every single one of the tools that I have to beat you and walk out with that championship. To walk out and be able to call myself one of the greatest champions this company has ever seen and to surpass 300 days and start looking toward the one unattainable goal that everyone else seemed to think was out of reach”

“Amber Ryan’s record”

“But to get within striking distance of that record I have to beat you, Andrea. So, some might think I’m looking past you to that, and some might think that I’m not taking you as seriously as I should. Which is a little ironic when you think about it. But I’m going to do everything I can to rip your throat out and walk away as champion. You can do everything in your power to try and stop Me and who knows? Maybe you’ll be good enough to beat me this time, maybe you’ll be the one to walk out of champion and I’ll simply be staring up at the lights wondering where I went wrong. And then I’ll be the one who has to get up and chase you and try and take that championship back.”

“But if I’m right, and I can beat you, then you will be one of the final hurdles toward my goal and you’ll also be one of the largest scalps that I’ve been able to collect for a second time. I know you have it in you to be able to beat me, I’m not going to question that, some other women in this company I can look at and just shrug because I know that I will beat them. Women like Bea Barnhart, Mercedes Vargas, Prudence Pierce, or whatever she wants to call herself, all of those names are just nothing to me. But you, you are a real challenge and you are someone whose name I would be proud to have on my list more than once. So an exception I’m going to do everything I can to beat you and I expect you to do the same. And I also expect you to stop playing these stupid fucking games and stand up and be a real fucking woman.”

[Julianna DiMaria]

From the perspective of the best friend…

“Andrea hasn’t been training with me for the rematch, Chelsea…” Myra Rivers tells me as I begin my special report Inception vlog. “The last time I saw her was before her match with Crystal, but something really snapped in her. I don’t know if it’s in a good way and that’s what worries me…”

I could only sigh knowing where Myra was coming from…

“Andrea is fine…” I reassure her. “She’s been approaching things differently. She’s been training with her oldest brother and they’ve been… bonding… shockingly. He used to bully her when…”

“Trust me, I know all about that. But is this the right thing for her?”

“You know more than anyone that sometimes, you have to do what you need to do to get to what you want. I mean, your approach now with your career is far different than when you were in SCW and the results for you have been so much better.”

“Touche…” Myra tells me. “Look, I have to go. Have fun with your special Inception vlog, alright?”

“I will…” I said with a smile as I hang up the phone. I exhale as I begin to speak.

“So HI, it’s been a while since SCW has seen me around, huh? Look, I’m trying to support Andrea here. She has no idea I am filming this. She’s going into this rematch at Inception and all and she’s SO focused on it and she’s really been acting differently. I never thought that she’d ever train with Roddy considering the abuse he put her through, some of which I have been unfortunate to witness…”

I approach Andrea’s mother’s house before I walk in.

“Going into this match, let’s get a sense of how her family is feeling. I mean, they were all understandably crushed with High Stakes…”

“Yes, I was…” admits Andrea’s mother as she walks into the shot. “...and she’s changed her approach. Some of it concerns me. But you know how I’ve always felt, Chelsea. She’s always been hard on herself. She definitely felt like her world might’ve been about to collapse after High Stakes and everything, but she did manage to pull things together very quickly. That being said? She has been distant since High Stakes, haven’t you noticed?”

I sighed, acknowledging this fact.

“Yeah. I’ve hung out with her, but it hasn’t been as frequent and it hasn’t been as long as usual. So, I wanted to get your thoughts or any information of exactly how distant she’s been.”

“High Stakes changed my daughter…” Andrea’s mother adds. “She recently blew up, literally, her past. That’s been a positive change. She has been focused more on being positive and less on beating herself up and allowing the past to consume her. Nobody feels worse about High Stakes than she does because she really feels like she should’ve won and would’ve won if she wasn’t making this a big redemption story. I’m proud of her for growing from this, but I wish it didn’t have to mean that she had to be distant…”

“I feel that. She is trying to grow as a person and I know that this means taking time to herself, but to be so caught up in it and focused on it. I don’t know, Mrs. Hernandez… Andrea has really pushed herself harder. It’s like losing at High Stakes awoke this beast in her that doesn’t want to let up.”

“Yes, but I’m worried about how she’ll handle it if she doesn’t win. When it comes to rematches against people that have beaten her for world titles in SCW…”

“NO! Don’t finish that thought! Please! We need to have our full support behind Andrea…”

“You know I’ll always have her back…” says the familiar voice of Eddie, her non-wrestling brother. He’s accompanied by his two daughters.

“Aunt Andrea is going to win!” her younger niece states.

“Yeah! We look up to her and everything and she’s our hero and we know she’s going to win it for us…” adds the older niece.

This definitely brought a warm feeling to my heart knowing that Andrea would appreciate their naive optimism and I wasn’t one to burst the bubbles of children at all.

“That’s the plan!” I said with some excitement my voice.

“Chelsea, you don’t think Andrea’s going to blow up at you over this, will you? I mean, considering she has no idea…”

“Eddie, it’s fine. Let’s do what we can to inspire her once she watches this, alright? Let’s keep it simple. What is your favorite moment of her career?”

“Every time she kicked Crystal Hilton’s BUTT…” the older niece answers right away, causing the whole room to laugh.

“I hate her, she’s stupid AF…” the older niece adds.

“HEY! Not in your grandmother’s house!” Eddie says. “I’d like to say that my favorite moment for Andrea was when she won the Festivus World Championship because she proved to herself that she’s a true blooded main event player and really healed her demons that night. The fact that she carried that title for a whole year really adds on to that. She just needs to transfer that experience to SCW and Inception and she can pull off the same thing.

“Mrs. Hernandez?”

“When she won the SCW Bombshells World Championship to begin with…” she says. “...she realized her dream for the first time and showed how strong she was although little did we know, she won it when she was going through so much darkness and everything. The pride she brought to our family that night was something we’ll never forget.”

“Me? Personally?” I began. “My favorite moment of hers was when she decided to go back. I kept telling her she had unfinished business. For months, I told her that she was going to go back someday because there was no way her last match should’ve been Bea Barnhart with her last title match moment being losing to a flash in the pan, you know? With all the shit Krystal Wolfe was talking about her, I knew she wasn’t going to let that slide and she’s been amazing since she went back.”

I could only smile, taking pride in being the best friend of someone so strong.

“We know what the girls think. But, you both be honest with me. Will Andrea win at Inception? Does she have enough in her to pull this off or have the recent changes been implemented too late? It takes so much to change your mindset and it usually doesn’t work right away. I’m not saying I don’t believe in her, but this is going to be an uphill battle.”

I hated saying it just as much as Mrs. Hernandez and Eddie hated to hear it. But in asking this question, I had to paint the picture of the reality of the situation. All of us knew that if this didn’t work out for Andrea, this was going to be her last shot. Yet, Eddie had a grim determination on his face showing faith in her.

“She won that title while she was self-destructing in darkness and when she was spiraling toward her weakest. So why not when she’s rising toward her strongest? She needs to trust herself and she needs to love herself and not beat herself down when things look bleak…”

“I concur with this…” Mrs. Hernandez adds. Andrea has done so many wonderful things with her back against the wall. The skill that she has to learn is how to let things roll off of her back. I worry that she may have started picking up this skill too late, but every time I talk to her, it feels like she’s picking up on that skill quickly. As long as she sticks to her script, she will win that championship even if it’s not at Inception. She can’t beat herself up or blow up any mistake. She doesn’t need to be perfect, she just needs to stick to her gameplan…”

“That’s perfectly well said…”

“You’ve got this, Andrea… I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter.”

“We love you!” her nieces add.

“Stay true to yourself… that’s all you need to do…” Eddie advises.

“Time to go surprise Andrea…” I said as I leave the house. “Thank you guys.”

I was walking as quickly as possible to the Hernandez training facility.

“I really hope Andrea doesn’t freak out when she finds out what I’m doing…” I say with a sigh. “...but I want to talk about how I’ve noticed the change too. When we were growing up, Andrea was living in a Disney world but she would often be discouraged and always break down when she was always told “no” about becoming a wrestler. I remember having to console her many times with that and still having to help her pull through her hardest losses after she turned pro. I wasn’t around when she had her mental breakdowns after Alicia and Evie. I was rehabbing and getting my own life together so I missed her first world title run. I regret that… but I’m not missing it the second time around!

 The familiar walk to the building wasn’t long but when I opened the door with the camera rolling, I saw Andrea and Roddy wrapping up a session. Andrea stood up after giving Roddy a bulldog and she saw me with the camera. She didn’t seem so thrilled about this.

“Chelsea, why are you filming?”

“I want the people to get a different perspective of you. But… holy hell… it’s so surreal to see you and Roddy training together and I’ve never seen you so focused and smooth between the ropes…”

“I really don’t need that camera, Chels…”

“Sis, it’s alright. I don’t mind. You’ve been working hard. Why not have a chat for a minute?”

Andrea rolls her eyes.

“Fine…”

I moved a bit to get a shot of them stepping over the ropes and onto the apron.

“Roddy… I want to ask you the first question. What have you noticed differently with Andrea since High Stakes?”

“She’s been talking less about the past. She’s not mentioning Alicia or Evie anymore. She doesn’t bring up Crystal. She doesn’t mention her last run in SCW. This isn’t about redemption for her anymore. She’s driven to be champion again. All she wants to focus on and talk about is how she’s too strong and too good of a wrestler to be just a one time world champion in SCW and how she wants to make that happen”

“I’ve been tuning out any hype too… about Kayla. As a matter of fact, where words used to bother me or where I feel like I HAD to defend myself against them, when I listened to what Kayla had to say about me, it was really in one ear, out the other. I just… didn’t care so much. Words are just words. I’m done crying about High Stakes or bawling about my dad’s death and things that happened in 2020. That’s over with.”

“Andrea took a while to get that fire in her again after that High Stakes gut punch…” Roddy adds. “But I’ve been teaching her how to have a short term memory with this and she’s catching on.”

“It was dumb and stupid of me to come back on that redemption kick…”

“Andrea, I don’t think so…” I told her. “That was your primary motivation to come back and there’s nothing wrong with that. You just had to have moved past it the moment you got the title shot. But, you learned that lesson. Now, I hate to ask this question and this is something that worries me but… what if you don’t win?”

Andrea sighs and facepalms at this while Roddy is shaking his head.

“Don’t ask that, Chelsea…” he says.

“I’m not worrying if that’s what you’re thinking. But, look what happened to Myra. You know that…”

“That was Myra…” Andrea says. “I love her and she’s always going to be the big sister I never had, but something I’ve been realizing lately is that for as much help as she’s been and for as willing as I am to go to her for help if needed, even now, her failures aren’t my failures. So Myra had two straight cracks at the title just like I will and it didn’t go her way. It sucked for her and it nearly drove her to retire. But, that’s not going to happen to me. That’s it. I’m not answering that question…”

“Andrea, even addressing it isn’t going to hurt your chances…” Roddy advises her. She rolls her eyes and continues.

“Fine. I’ll do what I need to do to win on Sunday. But Chelsea… I am done being defined by certain losses and certain people. Myra let those loses to Amber define her SCW career for a while and look what happened to her in the end. I admire the fact that she exploded after SCW and showed the world what they missed out on, but when I say it’s all in the past, I mean that. In fact, Roddy training me and working with me and the fact that we’re finally bonding after all these years has really filled the void left behind by my father when he died…”

This froze me with shock for a few seconds.

“I never thought I’d say this, but training with him is the best thing I could’ve ever done for my career and the fact that we’re working together proves that I’m not going to be defined by my past anymore. Forgiving him for how he treated me when we were kids is the most freeing feeling in the world. My childhood trauma has healed, Chelsea. I know that doesn’t ultimately determine whether I beat Kayla or not, but it proves that I’m stronger, that I’m rising above my pain, and that I’m pushing forward from that and continuing to grow…”

Hearing this from the girl I’ve known since we were both 9 years old really brought a smile to my face. Seeing as how this was my first real exposure to the “new Andrea”, I was beginning to understand the method to her madness and why she chose to distance herself after High Stakes up until now.

“Andrea, I am so happy for you and I’m so thrilled that after all these years, you’re finally on that path to healing and growing. My heart had been hurting for you so much over the years seeing you so hurt and heartbroken all the time when things didn’t go your way.”

“I’m done with that forever, girl…” she says with a smile. “I’ve got this. I’ve truly discovered the core of my ‘new self’  and I need to grow that to be the best that I can be. Sure, it’s a long term process. It might not win me the belt overnight. But I know that it WILL at SOME point and that point will be on Sunday. I KNOW that I’ve got this and even if god forbid I’m wrong, it’s not the end of the world and I’m going to be okay because the truth is, Chelsea? I’m forever done with being a victim instead of a champion. Going forward, losses like High Stakes will not define me. I mean that from the bottom of my heart that I’ll NEVER be a victim of my demons, my losses or my heartbreak again!”

I wanted to cry, but for the sake of the interview, I had to keep it together.

“I’ll leave you two alone…” Roddy says as he and Andrea embrace before he leaves.

“Got anything more to say to Kayla?” I asked her. She merely winked, took a deep breath, got herself into her “phoenix mode” so to speak, and went off…

“Kayla…” she began, “...I don’t know how you were raised. I don’t know what leadership lessons you took. I don’t know how you developed the mindset that you have. I don’t understand why you feel the need to bitch, ramble, meander about every little thing under the sun, but you do you. I’m not going to judge, but what I AM going to do is hold you accountable and what you do from there is up to you. Do you REALLY hear yourself talk? Because if you did, maybe there wouldn’t be a misunderstanding of people using the word “bully” toward you? Hell, why do you continue to care so damn much about what other people say about you? Why do you focus so much on how apparently, so many people root for you to fail? How can someone that has been so dominant for so long and who has accomplished what she has be that goddamn fragile? I guess I empathize a bit because for so long that used to be me, but what it tells me is that Inception isn’t the steep hill that it might be perceived as on paper. All I have to do is tick you off enough, push you to your mental limits, and push you JUST enough physically, all it takes is to make you doubt you can beat me for ONE second and you’re on the mat for three. It’s easier said than done, but my resolve has only gotten stronger since High Stakes, as I’ve told you before. You worry so much about semantics, like facing Mercedes and being complacent because you’re facing her and all of this stuff that’s a theory of yours at best and a fallacy at worse…

Facing Mercedes doesn’t make you weaker. It’s not the opponent. It’s your attitude toward facing them. What kind of use is that type of burden you’re placing on yourself? I mean, I’m not necessarily tooting my own horn about my wins over Ruby and Crystal, but I’ve never felt complacent because I faced them and I never worried about my skills eroding just because I faced them. To me, that tells me that you are someone that gets in your own head WAY too easily over the nitpicky fucking things and how your opponents have been unable to identify that and realize that they can attack this as a weakness is beyond me! The fact that you’re so wishy-washy about EVERYTHING, contradicting yourself from one minute to the next…

Saying that you wanted to face me again because I pushed you harder than anyone and because it’s what you wanted and because you wanted to experience it again and all of that… yeah, that’s noble on the surface…

Then you go around and bitch and moan about how because I was so close to beating you that there is “doubt” that you’re actually the best and how you’re hearing people say that if I had another shot, I’d beat you…”

I watched Andrea act as if what she just pointed out as giving her a migraine.

“Who is expressing this doubt and who is actually saying that sort of thing, Andrea? Because I’ve never found a tweet that says that and unless I missed any details on Climax Controls, nobody has come out on camera and actually SAID anything that Kayla claims she’s been hearing.”

“THANK YOU! WHO is doubting you about actually being the best, Kayla? WHO is saying that I’d beat you if I had another shot. I sure as fuck didn’t say that. I sure as fuck have never expressed that sort of doubt about you. WHO the FUCK is rooting for you to fail so openly because Chelsea makes a strong point. I haven’t heard a person on camera root for you to fail. Who the fuck is coming out and doing a ‘disservice to your legacy’? WHO? Tell me… WHO?

Is this ACTUALLY happening considering I’m NOT seeing this on the shows or on social media ANYWHERE? Or is this all just ‘the big lie’ in your head that you’re creating for yourself? And if so? WHY? To motivate yourself? WHO do you have to silence so fucking much? WHY do you need to shut people up? WHAT narrative do you need to destroy and WHY do you need to destroy it so bad? Because if I didn’t know any better, with all the shit you keep spewing, I’d think that you’re a psychopath that needs to pay a visit to Dr. Phil. That right there contradicts the ‘noble and honorable’ aspect of your actions. It’s not because you WANT to give me the rematch, it’s because you want to silence some imaginary voices in your head… or if they’re real, they’re not public in anyway… and even then, WHY give them ANY sort of attention? You are literally making the same god damn mistake that I was making when I lost that very championship that you hold right now and yet you’re so stuck up your own ass to realize it!

But YOU… YOU of all people… want to preach to ME about being a leader? YOU want to throw the epithet of “follower” at me just because…

SUPPOSEDLY, I didn’t come out of the gates as fast as YOU would’ve liked to come back at you again…

Which… you know that’s your prerogative, never mind the fact that when I broke my silence going into my match with Prudence Pierce, I came right out and said that nobody was cutting in front of me in the line to get another title shot and that I was going to get right back after it and do whatever had to be done. That’s all I need to say to defend that but really, I don’t answer to you and I don’t answer to anyone but still… YOU… a LEADER?

With WHAT leadership qualities? Because last time I checked, to be a leader, you need to be a strong person that knows what she is about and who doesn’t give a shit about what other people say about her or think about her…

…does that description suit you?

Let’s see… considering you’re so fucking focused on what other people say about you to the point of obsession and how you feel the need to silence the opinions of other people and feel the need to constantly point out that other people are rooting for you to fail…

I’m going to say no.

Last time I checked, if I’m not mistaken, a leader is someone that builds other people up, not tear other people down.

What about that description, Kayla? Does that fit you at all?

Let’s see…

All those times you’ve torn down Mercedes and Seleana for being past it… all those times you’ve told other Bombshells that they aren’t on your level… telling Mercedes that she needs to walk away, saying she’s old, all of those things… tearing down other people in general, albeit with the truth in some instances…

No…

And hey, last time I checked, a leader is someone that makes the most out of every situation with an attitude that sets an example for everyone else. Again, using your match with Mercedes as an example here, you could’ve just said that Mercedes is someone that you have to beat because you’re not going to lose your momentum or because you’re not going to open the door for her to sneak in and get a free title shot against you with a win against you and that you were going to do what you needed to do in order to establish yourself as the champion that you are.

THAT would’ve been perfectly fine and that would’ve shown some leadership qualities because you’re coming out and saying that you’re going to continue to show how it’s done, adversity be damned, opponent be damned, trap match with someone like Mercedes who still shows flashes here and there be damned. There wouldn’t have been ANYTHING wrong with that.

But what did “the leader” do, huh? Whine and bitch about being ignored, talking about how you’re unhappy with having to face her, how her beating you would be the death of your legacy and how it shouldn’t be allowed to happen, talking about how a loss to her would piss away all the amazing things that you’ve done and how it would kill the Bombshells division and all these other gross exaggerations about how one loss to Mercedes Vargas would… OH MY FUCKING GOD RUIN EVERYTHING!”

Andrea paused and even I couldn’t help but laugh as she rolled her eyes. I could tell that she was starting to become really annoyed, if not pissed, with Kayla’s attitude in general.

“...so having said all of that, Kayla, are you the kind of person that makes the most out of every situation? For the most part, yes. I will admit that you are. But do you do it with the kind of attitude that inspires other people to be better and that sets the example for others to follow? FUCK NO you don’t! Because THAT kind of attitude that you showed against Mercedes is completely unnecessary and completely unbecoming of a leader and is definitely NOT the example that you should be setting not just for the locker room, but for any impressionable young girl out there that watches our division. So don’t you dare fucking talk to me about being a follower and not a leader when you have NEVER shown any real ability to be a leader at all. How the fuck can you be a leader of anything when you set such a piss poor example with such a fucking horrible attitude? Tell me how you can be a leader when you’d rather tear people down as you’ve admitted tons of other times. Tell me how the fuck you can be a leader when you give so much of a fuck about what other people say about you, how other people perceive you, what other people think about your legacy and you’re constantly bitching about all of that, throwing a fucking tantrum like a spoiled little princess who was told “no” by her daddy when she asked if she could have a pony for Christmas!

Now, I’m not going to go around calling myself the best leader in the world or the best example of the whole locker room. Considering the shit I’ve done in the past that was far from honorable, I haven’t even earned the right to even use that term. Hell, I’m not even going to refer to myself as a leader in general but I know for a fact that you’re sure as hell not one yourself. So Kayla, don’t fucking lecture me about something that you have proven on numerous occasions you’re nowhere close to being yourself. If you want to be that self-absorbed, then you do you. But what it comes down to, in my book, considering the way you’ve been acting especially since High Stakes with paying too much attention to other voices: real, imaginary, and otherwise, is that you got spooked by the fact that I gave you the hardest challenge of your reign so far and you want to snuff me out and beat me again just to silence the doubts in your head that I had to have put in there.

You can puff out your chest and act like the division’s boogeywoman all you want to and you can continue to prove to me that you’re not changing or evolving a fucking bit considering you’ve got the same attitude now as you’ve had your whole career and you’ve even admitted that you see no need to evolve and change anything because of how much it’s working, but while your in-ring acumen is impressive, now I see your attitude and your bravado for what it really is… and it’s FRAGILE! Come Inception, I will do what I have to do! I will expose that. Unlike you, I’m not coming into this match, this time around, needing to silence anyone or anything. I’m not needing to fix the past. I’m not needing to redeem myself. I’m not needing to prove myself to you or to any fucking person because the only person I need to prove a fucking thing to is me, myself and I. Period! I don’t need to destroy anyone’s narrative. I don’t need to prove anyone wrong, not like you. If you want to stay in that bullshit, then you stay in that bullshit and you do so at your own peril because with that type of attitude that you have, you are truly setting yourself up for failure. High Stakes isn’t going to define me because I’m not like you. I don’t let losses define me like you do… or I suppose in your case, a possible loss define you like how a possible loss to Mercedes was SOMEHOW going to destroy YOUR LEGACY!

I don’t let other people’s narratives and opinions and perception fuel me like you do…

The truth is, Kayla?

For as good as you are and as dominant as you’ve been?

You’re really not as scary as other people say or think you are or as you try SO HARD to make other people believe.

I know that now…

And with that knowledge on top of all the knowledge I’ve gained since High Stakes?

I know that I can, and that I will, beat you and that I WILL be world champion! Considering everything I exposed today, WHY should ANYONE be intimidated by someone like you?”

My jaw dropped in shock at how Andrea completely went off. She slid off the ring apron and smiled at me.

“Let’s get some lunch, Chelsea…”

I smiled and laughed at this, but inside? As I shut the camera off? I believed in her more than I ever have in our 20 plus year friendship…