Surrounded by Loneliness
Scene One | Off-Camera
“I want my fucking brother!”
It was a bad week. It had been a series of bad weeks. Some would say a bad year. Luna was one of those people. Today however? Today was one of the worst days. Today was one of those days where she wanted to hide from the world. Today was one of those days where she wished things were different.
It was just one of those days.
They’d been fighting all day. Well, more so, she’d been fighting with Alex who had been doing his best to be understanding. To be kind. To be nice. To understand that she was entitled to her grief, but taking it a step too far. She had never felt so alone as she did today. Surrounded by love, but not what she needed. Adrienne had flown home to see friends, Harry was completely off the grid and Sullivan wasn’t taking visitors at all at the moment. Granted, she’d only be going to scream and yell at him, and get asked politely to leave. It would be something different in the very least.
“I’ve put up with a lot today, Luna. I’ve let you be angry. I’ve let you be upset. I have let you yell, and abuse and scream. I want James too, but I’m not taking that out on you. I haven’t ever taken it out on you. So until you’re ready to stop yelling, I don’t want to see you.” Alex said bluntly. She simply stared at him from behind a teary veil.
And then he turned, walked out and closed the door behind him.
Her legs gave out from under her. Her body dropped to the floor. The earth itself seems to suck her up. Then she realised how apt that was. The floor itself was eating her up. A black sludge spewing from the floor itself crawled up and over her. Over her arms and legs. Pulling her into a void. Swallowing her up.
She struggled against it, but it was like thousands of hands holding her down, holding her hostage. Hundreds of voices echoing around her head, the world exploding in colours and images of Alex walking out the door. Leaving her to suffer. Leaving her to struggle in her own self-pity. She squeezed her eyes closed, feeling the ooze crawl up onto her face. Covering her entire body. Suffocating her, climbing into her body. Trying to force its way into her closed eyes, up her nostrils and into her mouth. To drown her from the inside, and crush everything within.
She opened her mouth to scream.
And then she woke up.
It was the middle of the night, the struggling breathing of Alex next to her sending an instant rush of relief through her. He was propped up, but the busted nose had made him sound like a backfiring muffler. She reached out and touched the bottom of her lamp, turning it on a low light setting. Sitting up in bed, pulling her knees up to her chest. Pulling her knees up to her chest, and wrapping her arms around them. Holding them tightly to herself.
She rested her head on her knees, looking at Alex sleeping next to her. Part of her wanted to cover his mouth just to see how he would wake up. At the same time, she was just momentarily content to watch him. To sit there and watch him. Knowing that it was just a dream. That he hadn’t left. That he wasn’t leaving. That the only torture of the dream was the dream itself. That and that she did feel so horrifically alone right now.
She had been so independent only a few years earlier. Before coming across the world with James. Before reconnecting with Alex. Nowadays, she felt like she was just hanging on. Becoming the thing that everyone had been accusing her of. Becoming attached at the hip. She used to have so many friends. The faces at the funeral, she knew so many of them. They were their friends, but now. Now she had no one. No but Alex, and loosely Adrienne. But Adrienne was still a child at heart. Too many instances of risk, not enough of understanding.
She adored that girl, but she wasn’t safe around her. Hell, she wasn’t really able to trust half the people she once knew. That might be why she had such infinite faith in her brother and Alex. The two people that actually had helped her. That had helped her stay clean. That held her hand in the hard times. That made her believe that she was good enough to break through.
It didn’t help that she felt so alone though. She didn’t have James anymore, and no matter how much she talked about it. No matter how many times she tried to deal with it, to grieve and mourn. To try to work through it. She was six months out from his death and she felt no closer to peace. No closer to acceptance. No closer to being better. No amount of success in the ring, no amount of trying to make new friends. None of it was helping.
But that didn’t stop her from wanting to hurt everyone else. From wanting to make everyone lose just like she did. The truth of it being that ever since she’d made the decision to hurt others so they felt the way she did. She hadn’t lost a mixed tag match this year, for the most part being the one to win the match too. She’d bounced back from the horseshit with the Internet championship at the start of the year with Courtney Pierce, Krystal Wolfe and Tempest. Part of her wondering why every other person seemed to have been given another chance at Tempest, and she had, yet again, been stopped.
Maybe Alex was right. Maybe they really were out to get them.
She lowered one of her arms from around her legs, and reached across the bed. Taking just a couple of Alex’s fingers into her own hand. Giving them a gentle squeeze. He snorted somewhat in his sleep, almost choking on his attempt to breathe, gently squeezing her hand in response. She didn’t even know if he was actually awake, but even in his sleep. He loved her.
Her dreams weren’t real, she knew that, but still. She needed to know he was there. To make sure he existed within her world. To know he was real. To know that despite all the fighting through the day, he was still there. That he would always be there, because god forbid she was ever truly alone again. She wouldn’t make it. That was the truth of it. She had become so dependent because she had nothing left. Nobody left.
“I want my brother back…” Luna mumbled to herself, leaning back a little. Nothing else mattered right now. There was a sweep of wind, and then she found herself standing in an infinite void. Darkness stretching every which way she looked. She was asleep again, but she was aware of it. She was never aware of her dreams.
And standing there, a few feet in front of her, a robed figure. His skin painted with an ashy grey colour, his robe hanging loose from his shoulders. A strikingly white mask covered with an array of red markings. She had never met the man, but she knew. This was Vita Mors.
“Where am I?” Luna asked, her voice echoing for what felt like forever.
“Would you believe it if I told you, we were inside Mr Rabenschwarz’s mind? A part of it anyway. A part that he doesn’t know exists. A place where I currently reside. Pulling strings, playing things out.” Mors said, raising a hand, and sweeping it out in front of him. An image appeared out of the darkness and then suddenly they were standing in Alex’s old family home.
Looking down on herself holding that small baby. Sean looking over her, and James standing behind her. A still image of a memory that was her own, a desire that was her own. That place, that… thing that Sean had shown her. Her breath caught in her throat.
“I’m not typically a sentimental one, but having spent as much time with Mr Parker and Mr Rabenschwarz. I can’t help but admit getting just the slightest bit choked up at this scene. I’m used to seeing such grandiose desires. I’m used to seeing people wishing for everything, and though this is your everything. It is… simple. It is… ordinary. I have been perpetually intrigued.” Mors said as he stood there, observing a private thing. Her desires.
“How the fuck are you here? How are you doing this?” Luna asked, struggling to comprehend what was happening. She had to be dreaming. She had to be asleep. She just needed to wake up.
“Alex intends to evict me, and I for one am happy with the idea. Though, a quick eviction seems unlikely. No, I expect it won’t be until sentencing of one Sullivan Pleasant, that I’ll get my new host. A person that… owes payment. In the interim, I am here. Trapped in his mind, though with that, I have the right to do as I wish. To plant the memories and the images that I want. To keep him enthralled. The payment he made.” Mors said.
“Why can’t you just leave us alone? He only came to you because he wanted my brother back. He only came to you because you promised to give him that. To give us my fucking brother back.” Luna yelled, attempting to step forward, but finding her legs unwilling to move.
“Until I have ultimate control, I cannot do these things. I could forcefully take Mr Rabenschwarz, though I suspect him a better attack dog than a muted servant. I could, in theory, have taken forceful control of the people who work for my company, but a mindless thrall does not a good vessel make. No, I am afraid that until he presents me with Mr Pleasant, he is stuck with my company. But it also means that here, in the world dreams. I can make desire come true. Let you live the world and times that you want, until they become a possibility. Until they became reality. He gives me my payment and I give him this. I give him your brother. I give you the opportunity at the child you can never have. I am not your enemy, I am your opportunity.” Mors continued on, before turning to face her. A smile plastered to his face.
She stared at him, staring at the man who spoke in honeyed words. Offered perfect things, but as of yet seemed to have given nothing. Except… Sean had that device. Sean had shown her exactly what she wanted, so what or who was to say that he was lying. She’d know deceitful types, and strangely. She did not sense deceit from him. Fancy words and false action, sure. But he did seem… truthful.
“How?” Luna asked quietly. Mors walked forward to place a hand on her shoulder.
“All in time. All in due time, dear Mrs Pasilno.” Mors said, leaning down to smile at her. The familiar jawline made her shudder. She missed when things were as simple as a beer, cigarette and a line.
Maybe she hadn’t grown up.
A Prelude
Scene Two | On-Camera
“You know, I didn’t think they’d be giving me such a long break after winning the Blast from the Past. I turned up, made a big claim, and then… nothing. The champion treatment is what I’m starting to call it. No matter how much work a person seems to put in around here, the moment there is a whiff of potential in them? Barely a phone call. I’m beginning to understand why people like Juliana and J2H had to turn up week after week and talk into the void. I’m beginning to understand the difficulty in staying on top around here. It’s not a case of being overworked. No it’s not a case of having too much expectation put upon someone. It’s a case of the superiors doing everything they can to ensure that the people on top. They’re as unprepared as possible.”
“I can hear the excuses for the last few weeks though. ‘Oh Luna, it was just because the cards were booked by the King and Queen for a day.’ Or maybe, ‘Alex was getting a chance to shine after you beat him at Into the Void.’ Perhaps even, ‘They were just giving the workhorse time to recover. Just a few things I can hear bubbling beneath the surface. If that was the truth, I’d smile, bat my eyes and say thank you daddies for your benevolence. It isn’t the truth though. You only have to fucking look at the horseshit that has been happening around here since the start of the year to know that.”
“Finn and Kayla said they were going to be fighting champions. To make a difference, to be here every week showing up. I believe them. I believe that that is exactly what they wanted to do. I believe it because they aren’t that different from us. Finn and Kayla? It’s like looking into a mirror. The cut-throat, sharp talking but somewhat reserved sweet little boy, and the mouthy and aggressive flashy lady at their sides. Powerful women backed by powerful men. Powerful men backed by powerful women. Parallels can be drawn and everyone can see the similarities. The truth of it? That cruise ship should’ve been headlined by these two teams. The Conspiracy and the Wolves of Gheimhridh. This Mixed Tag Team championship match? It’s a vision of what should have been. What could have been. What will be.”
“I think it convenient that we’ve been demanding a mixed tag championship opportunity for a whole fucking year at this point. We were the favourites going into the match last year, and then… nothing? We get overlooked time and time again. For the Barnharts, for Miles and Alexandra, who’ve done exactly fucking what to earn another opportunity? For fucking Ben Jordan and the bitch I put to sleep, Samantha Marlowe. Overlooked time and time again, and for what? We get called fucking crazy for calling this out, because nobody wants to actually acknowledge what is happening. Nobody wants to acknowledge the hypocrisy of it all. Nobody wants to acknowledge that the only two people that have done anything to earn an opportunity at those Mixed Tag Team championships are Alexander Raven and Luna Pasilno. Nobody except for you two.”
“Our mirror images. The only two people that actually listen. That paid attention to what we do and what we say. The only two people I’d say understand us. The mixed tag team champions, the World Champions of Sin City Wrestling. Kayla Richards and Finn Whelan. The woman who showed me the respect I showed her.”
“It’s a funny little situation we find ourselves in here. In a few short weeks, we’ll be facing each other one on one. Standing in that ring to determine who the best woman in all of Sin City Wrestling is. In a few weeks, the friendliness and the kindness goes out the window for just the night. Truthfully, I don’t quite know how to feel about it. See, in the past, I showed kindness to one other sweet girl. Ariana Angelos, a woman we both quite acquainted with. I gave her friendship, when the world wouldn’t. I gave her understanding, when everyone was telling her she was wrong. I gave her everything I could, and how the fuck did she repay me? She took my Internet Championship and forgot about me. She didn’t even send her condolences when my brother died. I offered her the world and she spat in my face.”
“Now we stand on the other end. Different, but similar. I stand to take everything from Kayla. To take the Mixed Tag Team Championship, to take the Bombshell World Championship, and leave her destitute. To take everything she holds dear, and leave her with nothing. Respect only goes so far in the end. This kindness, this pseudo friendship. That all starts to fall apart when the cattiness comes out. When it comes to blows. When it comes to throwing hands and getting up close and personal. When championships and success come into it. When records and consistency are changed forever. It all changes when we give the world the ability to change everything.”
“So from the bottom of my heart, I want to tell you this. I love you, Kayla. I love you, Finn. Love isn’t going to change what I need to do. What I need to do. I need to take everything you hold dear, because I cannot let them continue to abuse and use us the way they have. To throw us at every problem, week after week. The two most active wrestlers of the year. Nobody has wrestled more than us. Nobody had been more successful in the Mixed Tag division than us. Finn and Kayla are undefeated for the year, and was it not for the finals of the Blast from the Past? Alex and I would be undefeated in Mixed Tag Team matches. This may be the most important main event of Climax Control this year.”
“See no matter what happens here, it sets a precedent. It sets a precedent for what is to come. Do Luna and Alex come up short in the division that they’ve been dominating all year? Do Finn and Kayla have their first loss of the year, just before the biggest title defenses of the year? Who loses their undefeated streak? Who gets the momentum in the lead up to getting on that ship? These are the questions we get to answer, and I am looking forward to being the bitch on top of the pile.”
“I love you, Kayla, but don’t mistake that for kindness. For forgiveness. For acceptance. I am not a kind person. I am not a nice person. There is a fucking reason that when I walk out to the ring, I remind everyone that I am the motherfucking king. I remind everyone why I am the The Idol of Sin City. That this sweet little masochist is ready to fight tooth and nail and tear it all down. Kallie thought she could step to me, and stumbled. Aiden thought he could step to Alex, and walked like a dog from pillar to post. So the next inevitable step is to turn from the dogs to the masters of the house. That’s simple logistics, I think.”
“I’m not going to come out and say I’m going tear you to ribbons. I’m not going to prance about pretending like I’m superior. I’m not going to rant and rave and scream and swear… I might swear a little, but. I’m not going to sit there like it's some fluke of fate that you are where you are, Kayla. It’s not true. Juliana, that was a fluke. One of the easiest run of defences as champion, and when she finally faced some actual competition? She faltered. Then she acted like it was a one off, and faltered again. She faltered because you are that bitch. You are that damn good, you are the fucking queen of this company. For now.”
“See I wasn’t being hyperbolic or absurd when I said I’m going to take everything from you. It starts this week with the Mixed Tag Team championships, and it ends on that cruise ship, when I stand tall on the seas holding the Bombshell Women’s Championship high above my head. When I get my hand raised in victory and everyone has to finally admit what has been staring them in the face for too long. Boy, that Luna, she’s fucking crazy but she’s legit. She might be our little Harley Quinn of Sin, but she’s the woman atop the dog pile. Look at that, Luna with two championships wrapped around her waist. Fanciful day-dreaming, but that is what I need. I need to manifest what is to come, and what is to come, is an uncomfortable reality. That as good as you’ve become, you might not be able to stay atop that mountain.”
“This is just the beginning Kayla, and I really do want to see where it goes. I hope you’re ready to see a spoiler of the ending.”
“But it’s not just about her, is it Finn? There’s a real danger now for you. Rodrigo? I don’t think anyone ever thought there was a true risk of him using that briefcase on you. If he did? Well, that would’ve been a silly little waste. Now however? Peter Vaughn. He’s a little more scary, I think. He’s a little more dangerous. The current Internet Champion, the one man everyone really expects to be the one to dethrone Finn Whelan. Every week now becomes a dangerous one. Every week that you have a hard match, it becomes a dangerous one for you. Anytime, any place. He can hand it in, and get that one prize he wants. The Sin City World Championship.”
“I quiver at the thought, sugar. I feel for you, truly. I feel deeply for you. But we like you. We trust you. We see something in you because you see something in us. Kayla sees something in us. Hell, even Aiden and Kallie have to see something in us now. So even when we beat you guys this week, you can rest assured. We’ll at least be on hand to stop the big bad mechanic from ruining your day. Maybe a little bit of a guilty thing. See, the only person I want to see take that championship from you Finn? That’s Alex. I want to see him take the mixed tag team championship from you, and if the time calls for it. I want to see him lift that Roulette Championship, the Mixed Tag Team Championship and the World Championship all at the same time, and then? Walk out.”
“See, this is about more than just taking everything Kayla holds dear. It’s to take everything around her down too. To take your success, your undefeated streak and everything you’ve built up. It’s to ensure that we, The Conspiracy, are the most important fucking people in this company. It is to ensure that when our contracts roll around, we are in the best negotiating positions of our lives. To hold all the cards, and be ready to play our hands. I’m looking forward to finally getting our time in the sun, and to ruin everything that they’ve built. I love you Finn, but I want to see you fucking hurt too.”
“But beyond all that. Beyond the fear of what could be, I think this is what should worry you the most. See we’ve got this idea on what we have to do. This is about ruining perfection. About ruining the beauty of that without smearing. You and Kayla? You’re the perfection. Undefeated records, powerful and defining championship reigns. A mixed tag team run that has been put on the back burner because your focuses have been elsewhere. It is unfortunate that it took this long for them to give us our opportunity. Unfortunate because now? Now we have everything to take from you. You’re another part of the dismantling I intend to do. Our focus Finn? It’s not just on the championships. Our focus is on what I want. On what I need, and baby boy. I always get what I fucking need.”
“And what do I need right now? It is to take Kayla apart piece by piece. To put her to the boot and put her down. To take everything she holds dear and punish her for her hubris. That is what I need. That is what I fucking want, and you Finn. You are going to help me do that. You’re going to be another thing she grows to resent. To hate, to lack forgiveness for. I want her to put her faith in you. To put her love and care in the idea that you can do what she cannot. That you can beat us, because truthfully? I think Kayla is just a touch more concerned than she is letting on. I think she is a touch more worried about what awaits her this week. About what awaits her come Summer Xtreme. I take her undefeated streak for the year. I take her undefeated streak on Climax Control, and then, I take her championship, and then?”
“I leave her with fucking nothing. No successes, no accolades. Not even a relationship based on mutual understanding. Because you’re going to cost each other everything. We’re going to take everything. And then you will thank us. Thank us for showing you what true strength is. Thank us for showing you what reality is. For tearing down the veil of deceit that you have built around yourselves. Because we love you, and it is only in love that truth can be seen. The truth, that you are not as good as you think you are. The truth that you cannot beat Alex. The truth that when it comes to the most powerful mixed tag team in Sin City? Everyone has been fucking blessed that we have been denied for so long.”
“We take the championships, and then we hold them forever. The best part?”“The Conspiracy is here.
