In my blood
Depression.
Statistics say that over 70% of the adult population of the world at some time or another will experience forms of depression. Personally, I believe that number to be a bit too low. Depression is a state of being that most of us feel sometime in our lives. Whether or not we deal with depression or if we have depression in any other way than a fleeting moment is not up for debate. What is up for debate is whether or not we have it as some form of state of being, or if it is just something that comes into our lives that leaves just as quickly.
For Alicia Lukas depression was something that she had felt before. Felt back when she was in an abusive relationship that slowly destroyed her self-esteem and self-worth. A relationship that beat her down physically emotionally and mentally for years until she had the courage to leave.
However, the effects of that relationship had been felt for the rest of her life. Going from relationship to relationship, thinking that she found the right one while falling into the same traps as before. Watching as men that she had come to care about tried to control every little thing that she did.
From Chris Cane, to Travis Blake, to Kaden Kessler, and even her late husband Michael Reynolds.
They all tried to manage and control her in different ways. From what she would wear, to her attitude, and her career. They would try and control different aspects of her life instead of letting her be free. This was never a situation where it was something small that she would need to discuss with a significant other. No, this was aspects of her freedom that were being constrained, controlled, and beaten down so she had no free will left.
That was until she entered into a relationship with a man. She had been friends with and known for the better part of a decade. Austin James Mercer. Former Sin City wrestling world heavyweight champion, and a champion in many other companies. One of the head trainers at Wolfslair NYC and Alex Jones’ go-to guy. Austin was tall, muscular, and handsome. After getting covered in tattoos had an air of danger about him that he never had before. As well as an attitude that had been turned into a sharp edge instead of a baby-face grin.
And their relationship had been amazing. Austin was compassionate and loving, he gave her all the attention that she could ever want and need while staying back far enough to give her the freedom she desired. But for just over a year Alicia had taken a step back from entering competition to stay at home. To take some time for herself and her family.
Spending time with her sons and Austin as well as his children and his sister and her son had done Alicia wonders. She had reconnected with her mother and come to an understanding that while they loved each other they would never think or feel the same way when it came to the world. But now, now Alicia sat in her kitchen. A cup of coffee in front of her and her hands grasped the large mug. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath filled with urgency and nervous energy. She shouldn’t be nervous. She thought to herself in the strangest of ways as she looked across the table at Austin. He just sat there with a cup of coffee, and newspaper in his hand.
Austin also recently took some time off from professional wrestling. A chronic back injury ended his last run and a decision was made to take some time off to heal and spend it at home with the children. He would still work at the gym training the next generation of athletes, something that Alicia had also done.
She took a deep breath, she had a fire in her eyes that hadn’t been there for months.
”I wanted to ask you something.”
Her voice breaking silence made Austin look up from his paper, a small smoke on his lips as he tilted his head waiting for her to keep going with the thoughts in her mind ”What’s that?”
Alicia swallowed, pushing all of that nervous energy that was bubbling into the surface back down to the bit of her stomach. She took a deep breath and got ready. ”I…..want to go back to SCW…..I think it’s time….so can I?.” She stayed ahead studying Austin, he folded up the paper and put it down in front of him before clasping his hands together.
”Okay, so why?”
Alicia swallowed and took a deep breath before getting ready to plead her case ”Well, I really miss it. I miss the feeling of being out in front of the fans. I miss the feeling of everything that goes on in that company and in that ring. And I feel like I have so much left to give. I’ve been gone for a year and in that time I have found myself again. I finally feel physically and mentally healed and I’m ready to go. I’m ready to be The Alicia Lukas everyone remembers.”
Austin chuckled and shook his head, it took her a second but Alicia realised that she had actually interrupted Austin. He had more to say and she just blurted everything out ”I wasn’t going to ask why you wanted to go back. I was going to ask you why were you asking me?” he paused, studying Alicia‘s body language and everything that was coming with it. ”It’s your career. It’s your life. You know that no matter what happens I’ll always support you. Besides, being in the ring is in your blood.” he smiled, and Alicia‘s heart lifted. All the pressure and nervous energy that she had felt just lifted off her shoulders and flew away. She was happy.
”I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with it. We spent so much time together and now that you were home, I didn’t want you to think that I was avoiding you.” Austin laughed, he knew that wasn’t the reason and that she was hiding the real reason. But instead of calling her out on it, he simply smiled and reached across grabbing her hand. He gave it a squeeze to let her know that everything was alright.
After a few moments, he sat back and stretched before chuckling and giving her a wink ”Well, I suppose I should tell Alex. After all, since you’ll be coming back to the gym as an active member instead of a trainer, sure he will want you to put in the extra work to get you back in ring shape.”
Alicia faked being upset. She put her hand on her chest and stood up before moving around to where Austin was sitting. She lowered herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. ”Sir, I am offended. Look at Me. Don’t I look like I’m in great shape already?” Austin shook his head with a laugh. That isn’t what he meant and she knew it.
He put his hand on her knee and leaned forward giving her a small kiss. ”I know you are just screwing with me. But really, I want to help you get ready. That division is not going to know what hit them. You are one of the most naturally gifted people I’ve ever seen……let’s make sure the division knows who they have been so scared of for the last few years…”
Alicia smiled. There was nothing more to be said. She knew she had Austin's support and his love and also his devotion. He was going to make damn sure that she was ready. That she was back to the Alicia that she had always been. The dangerous strong style Southern Bell the woman who had been so dominant that she won awards that no one else had. This was her second coming. and God help anyone who stood in her way
An old enemy
”Did you all miss me?”
The southern drawl of Alicia Lukas breaks the silence. She smiles and takes a deep breath. A look of genuine happiness on her face. She missed this and it shows.
”I would say that I missed all of you but I really don’t like feeling like a liar. In fact, I’ve never been one. To my detriment. See, I have always been honest to a fault. And that has made me hated by most in this company and some in the wrestling world at large. Cause I have the balls to say what most won’t. I will hold a mirror up to society and the wrestling world and shine a reflection on your shortcomings and your reality. A reality that most of you skew in your favor.”
“A reality that is a real lie and fabrication.”
“I have been sitting at home for over a year in self-imposed exile. And honestly, part of me did it because I thought my work was done.”
“Six years ago, when I came into this company, the bombshells division was in a state of disarray. Your legends had either quit or were sticking around to just get a paycheck and bleed this company dry. So when SCW bought out Honor Wrestling and I knew I was about to debut I took it upon myself to fix things.”
Alicia shakes her head with a sigh.
”And fix them I did.
She takes a deep breath and throws her arms out to the side with an arrogant smile.
”I took the Bombshells championship and made it into a prize that everyone in the wrestling world wanted. It was because of me that Roxi Johnson and Keira Fisher-Johnson came back. I made legends and huge names want to return or come into this company to try and beat me. I rejuvenated the bombshell division. I made damn sure that everyone knew the name Alicia Lukas.”
“And when I had left the division in a better position than when I found it, I took some time off. I returned when I felt like it but in the end, I knew it was time for me to go home relax and spend time with my kids. Meanwhile, well, the division that I had built up and tried to make something had slowly broken apart and fallen into disrepair. Women who said that they were in it for the long haul that I left the division in their hands dropped the ball”
“Amber Ryan burned out and left, Roxi and Keira went back into semi-retirement, and the same legends that I have tried to chase out or make stand-up or back to their old goddamn tricks. Mercedes Vargas, Sam Marlowe, and Jessie Salco all went back to being themselves. Names taking up spots. Along with Crystal and her on and off again bean head wife…Seleana Zdunich…”
“This division has gone from a group of killers ready to rip each other’s heads off to get head to being entitled weaklings or legends who are just taking up a spot. For every Julianna DiMaria or Tempest or Kayla Richards carrying the flag, there is a Harper Mason or Eiley thinking they should have everything handed to them.”
Alicia grinds her teeth and shakes her head. Clearly annoyed and somewhat offended by all this.
”But, my crusade against the entitled younger generation will need to wait. Because instead, I’m going to face The feeble wannabes who have stuck around like a bad smell first. Seleana Zdunich. An old enemy. Someone who was once looked at as the future of the division along with Me. A woman who many believed was going to be the next big thing and was going to stay at the top of the card trading wins back-and-forth with me for the next decade. But that’s not what happened is it?”
“Cause while you had some early success, it never really took off like it did with me. Did it Sel? “
“I won the Bombshells championship and in a moment that has been listed on the “biggest flukes ever” you were able to beat me. And for a fleeting moment, Sel everyone thought you were going to make it as a wrestler. As your own person. Instead of just being the leggy blonde in a relationship with a member of the Rose Hilton whatever dynasty.”
“As quickly as your star rose…it fell.”
“And no matter how many shots you get or secondary titles you win you can never recapture that glory. And to be honest with you Seleana, your attempts have gotten sad. Like really sad. You limp along week in and week out, and the biggest question I have is. Why?”
She pauses waiting for an answer that will never come.
”Why do this to yourself? Your family? Your friends? The fans? Why Seleana? I mean, I get it. We all go through slumps in our lives. We all go through times when things seem tough and there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. Even me. But the difference between us is that I haven’t tarnished my legacy by sticking around way longer than I should. I took a break. Stepped back. Reevaluated my life and role in the professional wrestling landscape.”
“I changed my way of thinking. And because of that, I have returned more determined and ready to go. Ready to reclaim my spot and ready to fix a broken system and division that is clinging to life.”
“For every bright light in this company, there are four or five destroying the credibility.”
“And you are one of them.”
“You are one of the reasons this division is in danger. You are one of the reasons people look down upon SCW. You, your wife, Alexandra Calaway, Vargas, Bae Barnhart, Harper Mason…..you are all negatives when I want SCW to be a positive. And now that I’m back? People like you have to watch out. Cause I ain’t fucking around, I am going to come at you with everything I have. And you have no idea how sad I am knowing that not only will you not match my effort….but you will make this all feel like a joke.”
Alicia’s nostrils flare and she cracks her neck.
”The worst part about this whole thing is that there was a time when I believed you could be great. There was a time when I accepted you being Me even with your bitch wife’s help was serendipitous to your talent. I gave you respect for wanting to right those wrongs. There was a time when you had a fire inside you. A time when you loved coming to work and you loved getting into that ring and you wanted to be the best. There was a time when you were doing everything you could do to prove everyone wrong.”
“The last few months though, no scratch that, the last few years since this has been going on before I left. Those last few years have been nothing short of abysmal for you. You turn up and do the bare minimum, you cut these promos where you just look tired and you look like you don’t want to be here. So again let me ask the question. Why? why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you no longer trying to be the best?”
“The truth is always hard to face.”
“And the truth is that you just don’t have it inside you anymore. You do not have that fire inside you to make all of this worth it. And if you aren’t in this to be the best, if you are just here to collect a paycheck and to have something in your life worth meaning? Then you are not going to last here. You are not going to be remembered as anything short of a fluke. I got into the Hall of Fame, I have had championship reigns people remember and wins that have gone down in history as well as awards that no one else had up until recently.”
“I kicked off the domination of the women’s division. And when I see people like you? Limping along and not doing anything of note? It makes me angry and when I get in the ring with you, I am not going to go easy on you or have any type of mercy.”
“I’m going to break you Seleana and there is nothing and nobody that is going to stop me.”
