Author Topic: "Heart"  (Read 572 times)

Andrea Hernandez

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"Heart"
« on: June 11, 2021, 11:45:21 PM »
June 7, 2021

On the night of June 7, Angelica and I were in my living room going over some things. However, the entire day, I was in an incredibly bitter and foul mood. We were sitting on the couch and Angelica and I were going over some plans for the future, but I was largely ignoring her. There was something festering in my mind that really increased my bitterness to another level.

“It’s an incredibly poor public relations move by Sam Marlowe to act like such a sore loser…” Angelica stated, and it was these words that had me paying attention to her. “It’s even worse when you consider that she just wanted you to go away and now that you defeated her, she’s acting like a sore loser stating that you had to cheat to beat her and all of that nonsense.”

“It’s STUPID!” I said with some heightened anger that caught my media specialist off guard. “She didn’t want this match with me and now she’s complaining about it? What? Does she want a rematch or something? Is that what this is all about? I’m sorry, but I’ve resolved my issue with Sam as far as I’m concerned. I left her that olive branch, you know, the sore loser award…”

“Genius idea by the way!” Angelica said with a snicker.

“RIGHT? And that’s where I leave it as far as she and I are concerned.”

‘“Then again…” Angelica prefaced. “You DO have to see her again.”

The fact that she brought this up made me even angrier.

“Please don’t remind me of that.”

“You’ve proven that you’re far superior to Sam. I don’t get the worry.”

“It’s not Sam…”

“Oh right…” Angelica realized. “It’s the fact that you’re in a battle royal. We both know what happened the LAST TIME you were in a battle royal…”

“Don’t remind me…” I said with increased anger as my eyes narrowed. “I was hoping I’d never be in another battle royal again! I mean, WHY am I even IN this stupid thing? Because some jackass with power that he won in a match that featured the other division said so? FUCK THAT! I don’t CARE for this stupid battle royal! I don’t CARE for the prize money! I don’t care for ANY of that crap! This match is a complete waste of my time and completely substandard to where I deserve to be in Sin City Wrestling! I swear, that company really has it out for me!”

I was unaware that I had said this right in plain view of Clarissa Vega, my best friend. She looked at me with disapproval before she shook her head, turned around and went into the kitchen. I was stunned for a few seconds, but I nevertheless pushed on.

“My talents deserve BETTER than some random battle royal where the only prize is money that is honestly chump change to me at this point in my career!”

“Are you alright, Andrea?” Angelica asked me with a genuine look of concern on her face. “You’ve been incredibly irritated all day. I understand that the battle royal is something you don’t want, but the kind of anger that you’ve been showing all day goes beyond normal frustration for a match that you don’t want.”

“I’m not going to talk about it…” I told her, hiding that there was something else that I was incredibly angry about. “I’m going to bed. I just want to act like this day on the calendar doesn’t exist.”

I scoffed and with all the bravado in the world, I walked down the hallway and into my bedroom. I wasted no time sitting on my bed and once I had my moment alone, I sighed and was really feeling downtrodden. There was no bravado now. There was only sadness and disappointment.

“I don’t know if I’ll EVER get over it…” I admitted to myself. “I didn’t think the one year anniversary of my world title being taken from me by someone so undeserving was going to hit me this hard… fuck it… I’m just… I’m done. At least tomorrow, there’s no anniversary of this shit…”

I curled up a bit, placing my head on my pillow. I completely shut off my brain from one of two matches in my career that was still haunting me to this very day and it was that ability to shut myself off from that dreadful memory that had me sleeping incredibly quick that night…

…..

When my eyes opened, I found myself back in Sedona, which greatly confused me.

“What the hell am I doing here?” I said with anger. I realized that I was standing right on the porch of my parents’ house and I took a good look around. Seeing that I was back here was just making me angry. I sure as hell didn’t want to be there. But, when I turned to my left, I saw something that would disgust me even further.

“I thought I tore you down…” I said with shock as I saw my father’s old wrestling academy and gym, standing as if I had never even touched it following his death. I was still feeling no regret for the fact that I was responsible for demolishing the building that I found so deplorable. And yet, for as much as I hated it, my curiosity got the better of me and I began to walk toward it. My skep;ticism grew more and more the closer that I got to it and sure enough, the front door cracked open. My eyes narrowed with confusion and curiosity as I walked through it.

“Are you kidding me?” I said to myself as I saw that everything: from the bleachers, to the ring, was still there. It was as if those cranes and those wrecking balls never even touched this place. I looked around, feeling like I was in a state of shock. I was completely confused as to why I was back in Sedona with a place that I associated with much pain and frustration standing all over again. “I tore this place down! I know I did!”

“You could never tear down the memory of this place from your mind, Andrea…” I heard the voice of my father say. Complete chills went down my spine and my eyes widened with shock. I looked around for him not knowing what to think or feel at this point as numbness continued to sweep me. That numbness grew when I saw my father walking down the steps of the bleachers. I was frozen still until he met me at the bottom where I was already standing.

“...dad…” I said with a stunned tone of voice. “You’re dead…”

“I am…” he said with no fear in his eyes. “But again, not from your memory.”

“What the hell are you doing here? Why TODAY? For the last year or so, you could’ve done this, but you chose TODAY of all days to do it? You chose the fucking anniversary of when I lost the SCW Bombshells World Championship to talk to me? I would’ve thought that you would pick the anniversary of when you died or something, but TODAY?”

My father looked at me and I could see some sadness in his eyes. He sighed and he shooked his head.

“You really have been gone ever since I died, haven’t you?”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve only lost ONCE in the past ten months! I’m doing FINE!”

“You haven’t seemed fine to me lately! It seems like all you want to do is complain about things going your way. It seems like all you want to do is complain about battle royals and complain and make up all these conspiracy theories of SCW having it out for you all because you spoke out against a tournament you were and still are bitter about. It’s nuts! I know your mother told you the same thing, but we really didn’t raise you to be like that.”

“Is this the part where you verbally berate me and make me feel like I’m a piece of shit just like you always did every time you trained me?”

“I realize that training you that way was a mistake. I’m not here to criticize you or to put you down, Andrea. I’m here to help you…”

“To HELP ME? WHY should I trust you? After the way you treated me all of these years, why should I trust you? Yeha, you admit that it was a mistake and you’re damn right that it was, but admitting that to me doesn’t do shit for me. That wasn’t the only mistake that you made either. Hey, you want to talk about the time where Clarissa trained in this AWFUL PLACE many years ago and how you assaulted and sabotaged her wrestling career just because you found out how she was from a rival wrestling family even though she was completely unaware one existed? OR… how about we talk about how you cheated on my mother and you acted like Savannah never existed after she was born to try to cover up the whole damn thing! Yeah, WHY should I trust you after learning these things about you? You don’t have a right to judge me for what I’m doing when you’ve done SO much worse…”

“I am not judging you, Andrea.. Gosh, you always felt like I was, didn’t you?”

“Figures that you wouldn’t get that until you DIED!” I said, clearly being bitter and angry. “I went through the worst loss of my whole career… and you abandoned me….”

“I didn’t abandon you, Andrea… it was you that abandoned me. Ever since my death, you decided that you were just going to throw away everything I ever taught you about this business. You can think whatever you want about me, but everything I taught you about the core values of this business, everything I ever taught you about what it takes to be a wrestler and a champion in this business, that was all genuine! To say that I’m disappointed in what you’ve become is the biggest understatement I could ever imagine. I’m trying to put you back on the right path so you can snap out of this and so you can quit this self-destruction that you’re putting yourself through…”

I could only laugh at this, though one can argue that my laughter was some sort of painful denial.

“It’s like you didn’t hear the part where I said I’ve only lost ONCE ever since that stupid battle royal where I really hit rock bottom in SCW…”

“That’s it right there…” my father said with a sigh. “That’s exactly what I am talking about.”

I was completely unamused with what I just heard, especially since I wasn’t understanding what he was saying. I was trying so hard to keep my composure, but my clenched fists were telling me a different story.

“You never let go of things and that’s destroying you…” he said with that same worry in his eyes. “You’ve never been able to let go of how other people have treated you in the past and that’s not just a wrestling thing either. Did you really have to rub it in the faces of your classmates of how successful you’ve become?”

“Of course! They treated me like trash and I had to give it back to them!” I said, folding my arms and scoffing with arrogance.

“You never got over losing the SCW Bombshells World championship, clearly. I get that it was the worst, most devastating loss of your whole career, but to still be angry and bitter over it one year later? You’re an adult, Andrea. You’re better than that!”

“Here we go with the belittling…” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“That’s another example too! You can’t get over how I used to treat you! You complain about losing the world title, complain about the battle royal from last year, complain about your experience in the Blast from the Past tournament, complain about every single thing that goes against you, complain about not having a title shot or having a title in god knows how long…”

“I have that right! I’m ALWAYS overlooked! ONE loss since AUGUST… ONE… and less talented BITCHES are getting title shots above me.”

“Let me ask you something, Andrea, when the hell did you suddenly become obsessed with being a mega star in the business and having all the championships you can get your hands on because that’s not how I trained you. You weren’t about that at all until you got to Sin City Wrestling. It was never about the fame, the fortune and the championships. It’s never been about that in our family. Yet, that’s all you seem to care about.”

My anger and bitterness was just growing worse and worse. Rolling my eyes again and wanting nothing to do with the conversation, I did what I figured was the smart thing. I turned around and began to walk away from my father. I was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t even bother to come after me, but I was definitely not happy to see that the door was shut. I tried to open it, but I realized I was locked in.

“You can’t run from this…” my father said. I turned around and realized he had followed me to the door after all. I was feeling overwhelmed and exasperated as well as completely out of my comfort zone. I didn’t want to face my father on this. Yet, I had no choice. There was no way out for me at this point.

“You know this is all your fault, right?” I defiantly told him. “If you just treated me like your daughter and if you didn’t DIE, NONE of this would’ve happened.”

“You can quit deflecting the blame on someone other than yourself…” my father said, much to my own shock. “ I know what the root of the problem is. It’s not me. It’s not your mother. It’s not your brothers. It’s not UWA, GCW, OCW, SCW, Myra, anyone in wrestling that’s ever wronged you, nor Chelsea, nor anyone that you can think of that you would love to blame just because you refuse to accept responsibility for your own actions and your own behavior. The root of the problem is YOU, Andrea…”

NOW I was clenching my fists! NOW I really felt like I wanted to beat the crap out of him! Unsurprisingly, I was far from accepting of what I just heard.

“You don’t want to hear it, Andrea. But the root of your problem is that you don’t have the heart for professional wrestling anymore!”

“WHAT? You did NOT just say that to me! Of COURSE I have the heart and the passion for this!”

“Is that why you dismissed our family legacy and what we’re all about? Is that why you’re branching out into doing some stupid reality show? You don’t go for what you want anymore, Andrea! You just sit back and wait for someone that you’ve publicly criticized to just hand you what you deserve. When Evie won the championship from you, did she win your heart too? Because that battle royal that you’re SO bitter about? You half assed it. You had given up before you started. SCW knew it. EVERYONE knew it! Mark and Christian knew it. Tell me: why would they want to give you another opportunity when you slacked on the last one and wrestled it completely half-hearted?”

At this point, I was officially dumbfounded. I had nothing left to say.

“You can go now, Andrea…” he told me in surprise as he turned around and began to walk away from me.

“What? You’re just going to leave me hanging like that? You’re going to throw some nonsensical theory at me and you’re not going to explain WHY?”

“You’re old enough and good enough of a wrestler to figure that out on your own, Andrea…” my father said to me before he disappeared through the door on the opposite side of his old wrestling facility. Completely dumbfounded, confused and angry, and with no other recourse at this point, I let out a reluctant sigh as I turned and exited through the door. A bright, white light greeted me…

And when I opened my eyes again, I was back in my bedroom…

June 8th, 2021

I didn’t know whether I had wanted to be angry or if I wanted to cry when I sat up on my bed. I saw that it happened to be 6:14 AM and that felt like a jab to me considering that June 14th was the day that my father died. I was completely shell shocked from the dream that I just had and I tried the best that I could to process it.

“What do I even make of that?” I asked myself in my mind. “How can he say that I have no heart for this business anymore? How could he even know anything about heart? Of COURSE I have heart for this business! Of COURSE I still have it! If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be speaking out the way that I do. I wouldn’t be trying so hard to be a champion again! If I didn't have heart, I wouldn’t have beaten Roxi, or Ruby in the first place. I’ve had one of the biggest hearts on the roster for this business since the day that I arrived and yet my father thinks he can show up in my dreams and act like I don’t? FUCK HIM!”

I was starting to feel a little bit angrier as I stood up from my bed, but just remembering that the anniversary of my father’s death was six days away brought some tears to my eyes that I was able to hold back. It was at this moment that I realized that there was a piece of my heart that would always love him no matter what and it really had me wondering if I was still in any sort of pain from his departure from this world.

“The one thing that he can say, that I would agree with, is that for the last year, it hasn’t been the same. It was that ONE match that threw everything out of balance for my career. It seems like every time I’m back on track, or every time it seems like I’m going to get an opportunity that I deserve, Mark and Christian hand that opportunity to someone else and it makes me feel like I’m NOTHING!”

I cringed a little, running those thoughts, thoughts that I wold never express out loud, through my mind.

“Those words that just went through my mind… nobody but me will ever know those words. I won’t tell anyone that I think like that. Not Savannah, not Lorenzo, not Angelica, not even…”

My train of thought was suddenly interrupted by someone knocking on my bedroom door. I sighed with annoyance, but inside, I was still flustered and confused about the dream that I just had with my father to even get too upset about this interruption. Composing myself in the best way that I could, I walked over to the door and I saw that Clarissa Vega was standing there. She had a serious, yet concerned look in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asked me.

“I’m okay, why?”

“You were saying ‘daddy, daddy, daddy’ while you were asleep. It was quite loud. I realize that the anniversary of his death is coming and…”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now…” I said with a sullen sigh. “I don’t want to talk about him at all. Ever again!”

My sudden defiance to try to shut out the dream I just had didn’t last long as Clarissa had another bombshell for me.

“We need to talk. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I didn’t hesitate to step aside and let her in as I shut the door behind her. She had an extremely conflicted look on her face, almost as if she didn’t WANT to tell me what was on her mind. I could also tell that she had that pained expression that she HAD to tell me and that’s what began to worry me.

“I’ve been thinking, Andrea…” she began. “You’ve been through so much in the last year and I, more than anyone else, have undertaken so much effort and patience to understand that. You’ve gone through a bunch of emotions in the last year. You’ve been a roller coaster in your own right. Believe me when I say that I will always look out for your best interests no matter what and that’s why what I’m about to tell you is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done.”

“You’re scaring me, Clarissa…”

“I’m just going to rip the band aid off and get to the point. I’m cutting you off….”

“...what?”

“I’ve tried so hard to help you, to be better, to get through all of the pain that you’ve experienced in the last year… and you don’t listen. I thought prior to the Roxi match, I had you focused and on the right path again and instead, you not only go back to caring so damn much about what other people think, even though you had told me before that you would quit doing that, you grow even WORSE!  You’ve reduced yourself to conspiracy theories that Mark and Christian have it out for you. I can not be around that behavior anymore, Andrea.”

“Clarissa… are you serious?”

My denial of course, wasn’t going to let me accept that right away.

“You can’t be serious… all these years and… no… you can’t…”

“For your own good, Andrea, I have to…”

“No… NO! I CAN’T lose you! You’re the one person that has stood by me through ALL of this and now you’re ABANDONING ME?”

“See, THAT is what I am talking about! Ever since Evie beat you for the title, you’ve carried around this victim complex that just seems to be growing worse and worse. My god, Andrea… to be brutally honest with you, you’ve been Evie Jordan’s BITCH for the last year”!

“NO I HAVEN’T!”

“A year later and you STILL bring her name up! Get the hell over it! I can’t be around you anymore. I’m not even sure that introducing Savannah to you was the right thing. I was hoping that meeting her would do you some good and help you grow and evolve, but instead, you just keep yourself stuck in the psychological hell that you’ve been in since you’ve lost the title. I don’t know why you insist on continuing this way. I don’t even know why you don’t want to let that go. Why can’t you let go of that? Why can’t you let go of a silly battle royal that nobody but YOU even brings up anymore? I’M not even the main reason why I’m doing this! I have a 10-year-old daughter at home and I can’t have an influence like you around her. I have to be brutally honest with you because that’s the only way there’s even a CHANCE that this gets drilled in your head.”

“I don’t even know what to say right now. I can’t believe you’re dropping this on me! I can’t believe that after all of these years, you’re going to cut me off! I still need you! I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do without you around. You’ve been there for me through all of this and… I’ll do anything. I can be better! Just tell me what I need to do…”

“I already did and you didn’t listen the first time, so what makes me think you’re going to listen now? If you’ll excuse me, I have to get my things and leave…”

“Clarissa no….”

Clarissa turned toward the door and grabbed the doorknob, just about ready to open it.

“It’ll be different…”

Clarissa opened the door and she was about to leave.

“...I had a dream about my dad last night….”

For the moment, this stalled Clarissa’s exit from my bedroom, my house, and my whole life at that. She turned toward me and she was definitely curious.

“Do I even want to listen to this?”

“Before you go, at least listen to this. Okay? Can you at least do me one last favor?”

“Sure.”

I took a deep breath, but I knew that I wasn’t out of the woods just yet.

“He had the nerve to tell me that the reason why things have gone the way they’ve gone for me over the last year is because I don’t have the heart for professional wrestling anymore.”

“Of ALL the people I would HATE to agree with, your father is absolutely at the top of the list for the way he assaulted me and tore my ACL to destroy my then-fledgling wrestling career… but I’m going to have to agree with him!”

“WHAT?!?!?!?!” I said with shock.

“Are you going to have your victim complex now so I can leave?”

“Clarissa, explain it to me please!”

Clarissa sighed, gathering her words a bit.

“You wrestle not with love in your heart for this business, but bitterness and hatred. Ever since Evie beat you, you lost your heart for this. It’s like you gave up. You didn’t have it in you at Summer XXXtreme, you didn’t have it in you with that battle royal. You only wanted to beat Roxi because you were bitter about how she ‘betrayed you’. You only wanted to beat Seleana because she kept name dropping you. Yo only wanted to beat Sam over some stupid pettiness about title shots. Hell, your heart for this business is so gone that you decided that beating her the old fashioned way, which you’ve done before, wasn’t enough for you so sure, knock her out with chloroform. I bet with the Ruby match, you wrestled with that to try to stick it to the Blast from the Past tournament. That’s why, despite this run you’ve been on since High Stakes, you don’t get what you want. In fact, it’s ASTONISHING that you’ve been on the tear that you’ve been on since that battle royal because most wrestlers that are in the same boat as you don’t even come close to that…”

“Well… most wrestlers aren’t ME!” I said with an arrogant scoff.

“If you could just quit holding yourself down with your bitterness and with your anger about shit that happened a year ago for ONCE, you’d get to where you want to be. Does what your father told you make a little more sense now?”

“It does…” I said with a sigh. “I was so bitter about this battle royal because of what happened with the last one that I just wasn’t seeing the big picture.”

“We’ve all got to start… or in your case, start again… somewhere” Clarissa said with a sigh of her own. “I’ll tell you what, Andrea. I am going to give you one more chance.”

My eyes immediately lit up when she said that to me.

“I’m going to give you one last chance to prove to me, and especially to yourself, that you still want this, that you still have the heart for this. If you mess up… even ONCE… we’re done!”

“Sure… anything. I don’t want to lose our friendship. What do I have to do?”

“Get over yourself and get over everything else. If you want to have your reality show, FINE! If you want to have your Future Legends title, FINE! I think that’s a hell of an idea, by the way. I want you to go a month… no, I want you to go the rest of this supercard cycle, all the way to Summer XXXtreme… without mentioning ANY of the topics I am about to mention on camera…”

“Shoot. Which topics?”

“I don’t want to hear you talk about Evie Jordan. It’s about time you quit giving her power over you. I don’t want to hear you complain about that battle royal from last year. I don’t want to hear you talk about losing the SCW world title. I don’t want to hear you complain about not getting the opportunities that you deserve. I don’t want to hear you go any further with this horrible conspiracy theory of Sin City Wrestling having it out for you. I don’t want to hear you talk about being the most overlooked Bombshell on the roster anymore. I want to see the PASSIONATE Andrea that I knew before. I’m not saying you have to suddenly be a fairy princess again or anything, but damn it, THAT’S the Andrea I want to see again. Can you do that for me? Can you go the rest of the supercard cycle without mentioning ANY of those topics?”

“...I can…”

“You sure?”

“DAMN RIGHT I can!” I said with that familiar arrogant scoff. “I can do this, Clarissa! All of those things that you mentioned, I can get over them! I can grow! I can be better, I promise!”

“Good! Remember, this is your last chance with me. If you mess up… even ONCE… I’m done with you. I hope and pray that our friendship means more to you than your own neurosis. Seriously. It’s hurt like hell seeing you self-destruct for the last year and I’m not going to see you do that anymore.”

“Thank you!” I said, as we shared an embrace. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either…” she assured me. “I’m going to take a breather, alright? You look like you need one too…”

Clarissa left the room at that point and when I closed the door and had a moment to myself, I felt a great sense of relief that I hadn’t lost my best friend. However, at the same time, I felt like there was a challenge I had to meet. I had to prove to her, and more importantly, myself, that I still had a heart for the wrestling business. Sitting back down on my head, I certainly had so much to think about and with the knowledge and the awareness that I’ve gained in the light of that awful anniversary of last year’s Into the Void event, I’m finally beginning to feel as if I have the tools I’ve needed for so long to finally get over it…

June 11th, 2021

I was in the backyard of my Paradise Valley home. Sitting on a comfortable chair, I had my SCW Future Legends Championship on my lap and a poster of last year’s Into the Void event in my hands. I had a small fire going in front of me and I was incredibly confident in my chances for the battle royal. The cameras were on me and I knew that everything that I said was going to be scrutinized like hell. However, I was feeling this amazing jolt in my heart, the likes that I haven’t felt since the night that I retained the SCW Bombshells World Championship against Christina Rose last year. With a fierce determination in my eyes, I began to express my thoughts.

“You see this? I said as I held up the poster of last year’s Into the Void event. “I’m over it.”

Without hesitation, I tossed it into the fire and watched it burn.

“For a whole year, I had let that event hold me down but I’m not going to let it happen anymore. You all thought I was going to start this promo by complaining that I am even in this battle royal and you know, about a week ago, that’s probably what I would’ve done. I bet that you’re all expecting me to complain about this and complain about that and once again beat the dead horse about how unfair this is and how unfair that is. Yeah, you can hold your breath on that and die because that’s not going to happen either. I bet you are all going to expect me to complain about the last battle royal that was in and how much I hated that experience but no, I’m not going to do that either. Actually, I’m going to take it a step further and shock the damn world while I’m at it. The last battle royal that I was in? You know, the match that I harped about as my rock bottom and talked about as the moment where I had enough and everything? That was my own damn fault. I should’ve done so much better than how I actually performed in the damn thing. But I didn’t because I held myuself back being bitter over so much stupid shit that didn’t even matter at all. That’s been the theme for me over the last year and that stops NOW! I OWN that what happened in the last battle royal was my own fault because at the end of the day, I was the one that made the decision to mail it in and feel sorry for myself. The mark of a champion in this business and the mark of a true professional wrestler is learning from their mistakes and THAT is what I am doing.

I am NOT going to make that same mistake with this battle royal!

I am NOT going into this battle royal feeling sorry for myself.

I am DONE playing the VICTIM here in Sin City Wrestling! You all had your fun but that fun ends on Sunday! I’ll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to go into the battle royal and I am going to win the damn thing. This isn’t about title shots. This isn’t about the money. This isn’t about avenging that battle royal from last year. It’s about proving that I am THE future legend of the Bombshells division and that all eyes should be on ME! This is about me making a STATEMENT and here’s the kicker! In the last nine to ten months, I’ve lost ONE match… ONE… and that’s with me holding myself back by playing the victim and not letting go of things so IMAGINE just how DOMINANT I am going to be now that I AM letting all of that go and how I am DONE being the victim! Yeah, you’re about to see an Andrea Hernandez at a level that you haven’t seen her before and you five bitches are in for a rude awakening as I show you exactly how I have learned from my mistakes. You want HEART from me? You’re going to get it because that old passion is coming back in a way that you could NEVER expect! You know who HASN’T learned from their mistakes at ANY point in their career?

That would be YOU Char Kwan! Why are you even in this match? Scratch that, why are you even in Sin City Wrestling when someone in SCU like a Cordelia Clark deserves your roster spot a hell of a lot more than you do? How do you even have a JOB in this company when you’ve literally LOST seven times as many matches as you’ve won? You’ve blown opportunity after opportunity, including a recent one to becomea contender to the SCW Bombshells Roulette Championship and everything, and you’re STILL HERE? If you have learned ANYTHING from your losses, you’d be winning more, but none, you are a proverbial chump on this Bombshells roster that makes the likes of Bella Madison and Candy look like serious main event contenders on any given night. You clearly don’t have the heart for this business because as far as the Bombshells division goes, you’re as run of the mill as run of the mill can get. I mean seriously… who even ARE YOU? I don’t even say that to be mean, I’m just wanting to know what the hell is it about you that makes you stand out among the bombshells because I honestly TRIED to think of ONE thing about you that could potentially make you a star, or at the very least, a passable wrestler in this company and I couldn’t think of a damn thing! Throughout your entire career, you have shown that you are quite honestly, the punching bag of this entire division. It’s one thing to be a constant perennial loser like you have been since the moment of your arrival, but damn it, it’s SO much worse when you’re that perennial loser and you show ZERO desire or ZERO promise of improvement. You’re that bitch that is proverbially and perennially stuck in place, Char and the only reason I am even giving someone like you the time of day is because you’re going to be in the ring with me. Aside from that? I wouldn’t even bother with you…

And you know, the same may have been the case for YOU Jessie Salco… except… There have been SOME noteworthy things about you lately. There’s that whole supercard streak that you had going on and it wasn’t that long ago when you were the SCW Bombshells Roulette champion as much as it sickens me to admit. Still, let’s talk about that, shall we. You win the Roulette Championship from Johanna Krieger because you stepped up to the plate for once in your woebegone career...  and possibly because you caught her napping, let’s be honest… and it seems that FINALLY, Jessie Salco has turned a corner! FINALLY, Jessie is going to do something with her career and be relevant again in Sin City Wrestling! FINALLY, Jessie is on her way to true greatness! You had us all fooled, Jessie. You had us thinking that you finally ‘got it’ when it comes to professional wrestling and what the hell do you do? You lose it back to Johanna mere weeks later. She raised her game that night… you didn’t. You thought you had it made, right? But that’s been you your entire career. You have that occasional moment and you make the mistake of thinking you’ve got it made and you make that same mistake over and over and over again. But, why should I be surprised? Heart and passion for this business is never something that you’ve been known for. It’s always about the blood and guts for you with all of those supercard matches you’ve won because you’ve made the other person bleed and all. If you had the passion and dedication that I do, you would’ve won a world title long before now, but too bad, so sad! Your legacy in this business is being the store brand version of Amy Santino! You’ve always been satisfied being stuck where you were, showing little to no desire to be anything better than what you really are. You’ve never had IT in you. If you did, you would’ve fought a hell of a lot harder to have a match on Into the Void and make a real name for yourself, but instead, you SETTLED for being on the pre-show fighting with a bunch of SCU wannabes. When I was in the same situation that YOU were in, I STILL found a way to get on that Violent Conduct card and I STILL found a way to get everyone talking about me! You? I don’t recall you being on the main show at any point. Now tell me again how you could have more heart than me?

Actually, Mercedes Vargas, why don’t you tell me the same thing? Or wait, how about you brag to the whole world about how the last time we were in a battle royal, you eliminated me from it! And in response, I’ll gladly talk about how in just my SECOND MATCH in Sin City Wrestling, I beat you! Yeah, let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about how since then, you’ve done nothing to grow and evolve from what you were and how you’re STILL hanging onto the past and using something that you last accomplished X amount of years ago as an example of why you think you’re still relevant. Yeah, that’s about as HEARTLESS as you can get Mercedes because when you hang onto the past for so long and when that’s ALL you can brag about, and when it’s just the same old shtick with you every time you turn on the camera, then you’re really being run of the mill and going through the motions. You may have caught me at a bad time when I was in that trap, but I am NOT in that trap this time, Mercedes. You don’t get to have that over me ANYMORE or EVER AGAIN! You showed SO much heart, didn’t you, when we had our one on one match. Hell, you had so much heart that you didn’t even bother cutting a promo before the show, BITCH! Yeah, I watched your performance in the Queen of the Day match and I wasn’t impressed in the slightest. Of course you lost, because that’s what you do best, better than almost everyone else on this roster. When I first came here, I saw your name across the card from mine and I was starstruck going “WOW! I am facing a Hall of Fame member in my second match” and now I see your name on the card on the same line as mine and I’m yawning from here to Mexico. I mean seriously Mercedes, you’ve packed it in for so long now that you have nothing new or nothing better to talk about then your little Hall of Fame resume that becomes more and more irrelevant the longer you hang around this company. I mean SERIOUSLY, you’ve settled for winning an SCU CHAMPIONSHIP NOW? WOW! You truly have become, in every sense and every definition of the word, PATHETIC! That SCU Championship is the only thing you can do in this business nowadays. In fact, MAYBE you should just stay in SCU until you retire because at least THERE you can be competitive. Here? The only women you’re even capable of beating are… Bella? Nope. Candy? Nah, she’s beaten you multiple times. Char? Okay, there’s an exception. Amelia Emery? WHO? Yeah probably. Bea Barnhart? Possibly. Hell, you oughta take Jessie Salco with you and form a wrestling company in the Florida Keys where the only crowd that would even care about you is Social Security retirees in their mid seventies. Wanna go ahead and join them, Mercedes? You passionless, going-through-the-motions,  hanging on for too damn long BITCH!

And then there’s you, Roxi…

Where do I begin with you? The heart is certainly there and it’s definitely going to compete with that of my own because for as much as I can’t stand y ou, I will always admit that the heart has always been there for you but at the same time, you’ve ALWAYS struggled against women that have brought more heart to the table than you have. When I beat you, I wanted that match more than you did and that’s one of the reasons why I won. I went into that match with the feeling that I HAD to win not just because I wanted to break an awful string of matches not going my way at supercards but also because I HAD to prove that I was STILL one of the top Bombshells on the roster and I KNOW that I am because ever since then, I’ve STILL been as good as I’ve been. I’ll give you credit, Roxi. You did bounce back quite nicely from when I defeated you. You beat Lucy Seraphina at the following Supercard and you made it extremely far on the Blast from the Past tournament. But once you got far enough, there you went again losing to someone that you should normally beat. But hey, you bounced back again and you got yourself an Internet title shot against Myra Rivers! Let’s dismiss the fact that you wouldn’t have gotten the shot if I was in that match for a second and let’s talk about that match. Let’s talk about how you went into it against her worrying about her past and worrying about how she was going to relapse into what she was in GCW when she was putting ME through hell! Let’s talk about how you focused so much on THAT and not so much everything she accomplished in Sin City Wrestling or as the Internet Champion. Let’s talk about how Myra had shown a BUNCH of heart and desire to be the first Bombshell ever to have a 300 day championship reign and how as a result, she wanted the match way more than you did! That’s a theme for you isn’t it, Roxi? I see a pattern now. Myra wanted it more. Ruby sure as hell wanted it more than you did because for some reason, you figured you had her beat with this obnoxious ‘she’s just another Kate, who cares?’ attitude. Christina wanted it way more than you did when she took the world title from you because while she was focused and determined and had the heart… albeit one filled with fucking ego and lies and bullshit and such… to be a world champion, all you were focused on was being done with her and her attitude. You’re hot and you’re cold and you’re too much of a roller coaster because people see your name on the card next to theirs, as I did in our encounter, and they get fucking motivated… yet… you just stay on the same wavelength as always, not even bothering to step your own game up. That’s exactly why I beat you back at Inception… and that’s exactly why in this battle royal, I am going to beat you again…

And speaking of beating again…

Sam…

I’m not saving you for last because you’re the biggest threat to me in this match. You’re not. That would be Roxi. I saved you for last because of our recent history and such. Oh NOW you give a shit about me, Sam? Now that I BEAT YOU? WOW! THAT’S what it took. I even told you going in that I was going to beat you at Into the Void because I had a hell of a lot more passion for this match than you did and I was absolutely right. I was willing to do whatever it took to win and you can cry chloroform and make a bunch of excuses all you want to, but that’s not going to change the outcome! I’ve beaten you twice now, Sam and the first time, you don’t even get to use the ‘chloroform’ excuse. At first, I thought ‘there’s that Sam Marlowe fire that’s missing’... and then it all went to hell with that bullshit graphic, advertisement or whatever you want to call it, that made a joke about how I defeated you. You’ve taken NO initiative against me during ANY of this grudge, between us Sam. NONE! I was the one that was calling you out again and again and again! I was the one that took the initiative for our match at Into the Void to happen! But from you? NOTHING! BEFORE Into the Void, NOTHING! Not even a simple little blindside attack! All of those times I talked shit about you, you could’ve done a surprise attack! You could’ve come after me and ruined my vignette! SOMETHING! ANYTHING! But nooooo…. You just went through the motions as you cried and complained about how you just wanted to be rid of me and how you thought ignoring me was going to make me go away. SINCE Into the Void? NOTHING… aside from a bunch of whining, complaining and crying about the chloroform thing. When I was making my speech in YOUR locker room about THIS Future Legends Championship, you could’ve came in here and fought me, you could’ve tried to break the Sore Loser award, steal my Future Legends title… SOMETHING… and yet… NOTHING! I guess that’s what happens when you’re Sam Marlowe and you lost your heart a long time ago to the point where you just go through the motions now. I wonder… Sammy… what is your excuse going to be when I throw you out of the battle royal and win the damn thing?

Are you finally going to show some FIGHT in this damn thing?

Regardless? You’re STILL going to lose… and that goes for ALL of you because this is a STATEMENT match for me! Vinnie can keep the fucking 10 grand, I don’t give a FUCK about that! All I give a fuck about is proving WHY I am THE FUTURE LEGEND and why ALL OF YOU should be watching me and why I should have the opportunity to prove myself as the very best of this division now and in the future! SWEET INNOCENT ANDREA was just the OPENING ACT… the Andrea you had seen between High Stakes and Into the Void was just the WARM UP! Well get ready bitches, because come Climax Control, it’s going to be the start of the MAIN ACT: ME, ANDREA HERNANDEZ, showing WHY she is THE greatest prodigy this Bombshells division has ever had!

How’s THAT for fucking HEART?!?!?!”

I maintained my intensity for a few seconds as I slung the Future Legends Championship over my shoulder. Confident in my abilities and my newfound epiphany, I walked up to the camera and shut it off… truly looking forward to the battle royal at this point...